Poor Julia Allison. She is ALWAYS getting hacked! Hackers are constantly messing with her, ending her friendships and relationships on a regular basis. Let’s count how many times poor Julia Allison, a complete nobody, has been hacked.
There was the time previously private videos of her and Prom King, whose identity she had concealed until that moment, were suddenly made public, and a day after he dumped her! How odd! But of course, she would never do such a thing — her haters had clearly hacked into her Vimeo account and made those videos public!! That’s right, RBNS figured out her passwords and made those private videos public so that the world would know that some chick they’d never heard of had been banging some dude they’d never heard of.
The hackers came out in full force when she and her Daddy decided to shut RBNS down. In fact, a legion of “unhinged hacker fans” must have been behind the harassment of an innocent Chicago woman at her place of employment for the crime of having “liked” the Free RBNS Facebook page under her real name.
And of course, when it wasn’t outright hackers, it was simply a friend trying to do the right thing by a donkey and was therefore criminally harassing and threatening people at their places of employment. It wasn’t hackers after all, she later confessed, because the same friend made the Prom King videos public and also made sure we were leaked the names of both Code Names PK and TK in the comments of RBNS. Even though the geo-location of one of those comments was the very same attached to Donkey’s freakouts on her Wikipedia page. Interesting.
And then came the time when the hackers left Julia alone, and instead hacked her boyfriend!!! That’s right, they hacked the son of a powerful, high-profile U.S. senator so they could send Donkey all sorts of information about Pancakes McCain’s flirtations with other women. The hackers, you see, were just looking out for Julia and thought she had a right to know.
And now the hackers are back! They clearly hacked into her email account again and got word to Gawker that the annual BiCoastal Birthcray Bash with OMG OMG Randi OMG OMG was no more, and she was uninvited. Either that, or, again, it was a well-meaning, eavesdropping friend just wanting to defend her honor. Because being denied your Pretty Pink Twinsie Princess Birthday Party is such a travesty of justice when you’re 31, and someone needed to avenge her!