Julia Allison’s Face Is Its Own Sentient Being

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9753adIFus’]

For 14 months from 2010-2011, Julia Allison, journalist and social media celebrity, didn’t have a home. During that time she bounced from city to city traveling with just her suitcase, laptop, and iPhone.
Allison, who became famous for being such a public socialite, became a digital nomad by working her social network as much as possible to couch surf at friends’ places and friends’ of friends’ places. She admits that she spent little to no money on housing but spent most of it on airfare to afford her digital nomadic lifestyle. The details of which are supposed to be played out on the site Zen Digital Nomad, but the site is currently devoid of content.
I asked Allison what technologies she relied on to be able to pull off her high-tech homelessness. Here’s a list of her favorite tools:
• Yelp: Anywhere you go you can be a native of that city.
• Kayak: Booked all her flights.
• Padmapper: Used it to find longer term places to stay. Takes Craigslist listings and integrates it onto a map so you can isolate locations by just a few blocks.
• Facebook City Search: She would search friends in specific cities and work their networks to find places to stay.
The very attractive Allison wasn’t concerned with her safety. She claims she’s a combination of an adventurist and an idiot who maybe should be more scared, but simply isn’t. It’s been in her nature to take risks with herself and her career.

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166 Responses to Julia Allison’s Face Is Its Own Sentient Being

  1. Princess WideStance says:

    (Repost from last thread)

    Sooooo…. I guess now we know what website she’s been “working” on? zendigitalnomad.com. And she told this dude the site would be up by the time the video was posted… LOL.

    The site is empty! Serious bizness ladee!

  2. DoubtsWereRaised says:

    Ashton, how can we vom?

    Who’d she have to blow to get the “very attractive” descriptor thrown in at the end :S

    • Jack the Go Fuck! Bulldog says:

      Hey, pipe down! I’ll have you know I threw in some free shoes came with that b.j.!

  3. anon says:

    Here’s the site: http://zendigitalnomad.com/

    Empty. Just like NonSociety and Julia’s brain.

  4. pearipathetic donkey says:

    She needed to rely on technology in order to find the Whole Foods in LA, SF, and NYC? So adventurous!

  5. I'MMMMELTING says:


    • Random Snowflake says:

      No wonder she’s always scratching her head..

    • My company worked with Julia Allison -- NEVER AGAIN says:

      I saw her a couple of days after this and she STILL hadn’t washed her hair. So fucking vile.

  6. Dr. Gary says:

    I couldn’t stop staring at her greasy roots. Disgusting!

    She is such a fucking liar. She was living at her parent’s OMG! downtown condo the whole time. Except for when she (LOL) moved in with her soulmate Pancakes MCCain. Didn’t she even get in a twitter fight with someone who called her out on living at parent’s place for free? Could have sworn she said she was paying them some small amount of rent.

    And she is also lying about random couch surfing. She NEVER stayed with someone she didn’t know. It was always with whichever one of her *friends* that she was grifting at the time.


    • Prof. F Camping says:

      Could have sworn she said she was paying them some small amount of rent.

      you’re right.

      • Braycore says:

        Your source is wrong. She just said she spent little to no money on housing. Period. End. of. sentence. Why are you still talking about 2011?

        • Hooferine says:

          Nice work, nonsociety, on the layout of the comments!

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Black says:

            Hooferine™ is a brand of antiseptic hoofwash. Its formula combats notoriously strong odors and is also sold, in distilled form, as both a floor cleaner and a cure for gonorrhea.

            Ads feature a forlorn donkey, eager for marriage, but turning men off by her rotten stench. “Why can’t they be happy with me in thspite of thith?” Donkey asks herself.

            Currently, four different kinds of Hooferine™ are on the market in the U.S. and elsewhere: Original; Natural Cuntmint; Advanced Skin Tag Control & Gluten-Free.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Black says:

      She NEVER stayed with someone she didn’t know.

      The ONLY time this ‘Digital Nomad MadHo’ ever solicited hospitality of complete & random strangers is when she bailed on Billow & tried to foist her off on dog knows who in exchange for leaving Rachel holding the bag($) for lodging during Natasha’s birthday party.

      BTW, did Julia ‘I Almost Never Lie’ Allison amend a(nother) lie?
      I started a Z-pak today. Yay. I’m not contagious, but I don’t think it’s a good plan to fly internationally
      She said, somewhere, that the doctor grounded her …

  7. Fameless Shamewhore says:

    Thank you so so much JP for this morning’s entertainment! I enjoyed it so much.

    Just one question: “I take alot of risks in my career…” What is this career of which she speaks???

  8. Perpetual Donk of Shame says:

    For some reason ( which I care not about ) the video plays in these great little glitchy bits for me. Every few seconds I get an insta freeze frame of horror and honestly, seeing her face – the eyepelts, the frozen forehead, the arches of doom … I just had the best laugh of the day. Granted, it has been a hard day but ultimately, as I sit here sipping my Old Rasputin and giggling at the caterpillars hanging onto her eyes I can’t help but think that her face couldn’t have happened to a nicer person. Literally.

  9. CUNTBunnies! says:

    …”I put my stuff in storage, and I traveled with a suitcase and my laptop and my iphone…”


  10. anon says:


    • anon says:


      • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

        My fav is how the video just cuts to a logo as the Donkey yammers on.

      • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

        Julia, that’s not what “talk to the hand” means.

    • anon says:


    • anon says:

      What is UP with her NECK?

    • anon says:


      • pearipathetic donkey says:

        Seriously, her face is made of clay!

        • Prof. F Camping says:

          reminds me of mrs. doubtfire


    • Prof. F Camping says:


    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Black says:

      My, just look how the lighting (can’t be from a north-facing window!) catches & reflects the oil spillage on her face (& in her hair) …
      ::gags more than just a little::
      Gross Donkey is GROSS!

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Black says:

      CAPTCHA read: “good night’ …
      I defy CAPTCHA to find an ex who’d agree …

  11. Braycore says:

    Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that shit.

  12. sausage curls/fingers says:

    So shes openly claiming to be an idiot? How honest!

  13. Peltergeist says:

    So now all it takes to become “famous” is to repeatedly declare yourself famous. RIP integrity.

  14. Dr. Gary says:


  15. Dr. Gary says:

    Her facial expressions in the first 20 seconds are FRIGHTENING.

    She looks like a Disneyland animatronic robot that’s shorted out and gone a bit haywire. It’s trying to re-program ‘expressing human emotion’. But must first run through all of the emotions available in its database so the system will re-set.

    Or maybe it’s a bit more like Total Recall. Remember this?


    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      I thought the same thing but didn’t know hoe to describe.

      Her crazy blinking makes me nervous.

      • Beauchanp says:

        I think you are searching for Yul Brynner in the 1973 sci-fi classic “Westworld”.

        Same look: robot gone crazy

    • ks says:

      I’m pulling up to this comment and asking it if it needs a ride and also I have candy.

      • Dr. Gary says:

        *gets in van. pops REO Speedwagon cassette tape into tape player. flashes panties and takes candy.*


  16. Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

    2:23/2:24 of this vid. shows the craziest rippling/bunching (almost like think veiny veins under her skin) from her cheek to her temple.


  17. anon says:

    What happened to her face? Even wearing condoms as accessories, I thought she was really pretty here: [img]http://s-ec-sm.buzzfeed.com/static/enhanced/terminal01/2009/5/11/14/enhanced-buzz-10748-1242067301-18.jpg[/img]

  18. anon says:

    Have people seen this before? It cracked me up.


  19. Prof. F Camping says:

    Zen Digital Nomad
    Zero Dermatology Needed
    Zone of Drano Nodules
    Zany Duckface Nightmare

  20. Der says:

    She crowd sourced on Twitter to ask about PadMapper just a few weeks ago. Even then she can’t explain the genius of it. So pointless.

    • Princess WideStance says:

      Typical donkey: hear about something that sounds cool, crowdsource some cursory knowledge about said thing, then bullshit about it to anyone who will listen.

  21. anon says:

    Is there something about this digital nomad thing I’m not getting? It seems just like random couch-surfing and you use a laptop and a phone. Is that it? If so, holy shit, what a meaningless concept. There is nothing “digital” about it. It’s just couch-surfing.

    Maybe someone can explain it to me.

  22. cankles says:

    Bravo PR ‏ @BravoPR Reply Retweet Favorite · Open
    Bravo greenlights “Miss Advised,” a series about single relationship experts who can’t seem to practice what they preach.

    No mention of Donkey and it looks like this will not make her look good.
    Then they mention Randi and make her look like a bidness lady. Donkey is probably LIVID

    Bravo PR ‏ @BravoPR Reply Retweet Favorite · Open
    Bravo partners with internet entrepreneur Randi Zuckerberg in new series “Silicon Valley” @randizuckerberg

  23. cankles says:

    Julia Allison ‏ @JuliaAllison Reply Retweet Favorite · Open
    It occurred to me tonight when I was reading @PandoDaily that I don’t use the term “disruptive” *nearly* enough. That’s about to change, yo.

    Late again donkey. No one wants to hear disruptive anymore.
    Sarah Lane
    Rampant over-use of the world “disrupt” needs alternatives. Here are a few of mine: “upend”, “agitate”, “baby-shake”, “go all Pop Rocks”

  24. Cowboys & Brayliens says:


    • Dr. Gary says:

      OMG. This x INFINITY.

    • NonSobriety says:

      It’s like the rest of her face makes extra expression to make up for whats been lost to Botox deadzones.

    • ¿Qué? says:

      She’s getting madder and sadder. The strain is definitely showing.

    • cankles says:


      Sorry for bringing the kitty out of retirement but it needed to be done

    • Who do you think you are? says:

      For someone who has allegedly made over 1000 tv appearances, she sure doesn’t know how to control her face. She didn’t spaz out like that back in the day, did she? The only explanations I can come up with are mental illness and drugs.

    • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:


    • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

      Adderall ?

  25. cankles says:

    Julia Allison ‏ @JuliaAllison Close
    Hey Reblogging fans – I’m going to start commenting in the next few days. I figure, if I can’t beat you, I’ll join you. 😉

    • ¿Qué? says:

      What a sane thing to tweet at 1.30am.

    • OMGMarried! says:

      This will last all of one post before another C&D is threatened.

      • Dyspeptic says:

        Har. Bring it.

      • Shamoolia says:

        Yes, cease and desists and harassment lawsuits are SO VALID when you announce publicly you’re going to join your haters.

        She’s a fucking idiot. But we knew that.

        Also, she’s fat.

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          I was just coming in to tell you guys she emailed to say she was “joining us.” I told her to have at it and asked when we could expect the cease-and-desists when no one believes her bullshit.

          Back to my vacation now!

          P.S. Can someone please describe the Bravo trailer to me???

          • Shamoolia says:

            Enjoy your vacation! You’ve been missing out on some epic cray!

            The Bravo trailer was about 30 total seconds of her looking like a puffy, bloated freak. The screen caps on the last post pretty much summed it up. She didn’t really say much beyond the 73-point checklist.

            I know you probably won’t block her, but if she actually does show up here, I really hope everyone here just ignores her, or shoots her with AK kitty or something. Giving this blob attention is like giving her life-giving food and oxygen and you just make HER GROW BIGGER! She’s like the blobby garbage demon in Spirited Away.

          • Charles Forman was her Jake Lodwick Lite says:

            She emailed you to announce her arrival? LOLOL What a twat.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            I fucking know. Such a typical big Donkey NPD melodramatic production. You wanna comment, go comment, doofus. The world does not need for you to announce it.

          • Birthday Chicken (original recipe) says:

            I highly doubt this show will make it past the first season. None of them are likable, and the only pretty one is Amy. Amy, however, is old (for the industry) and not as volatile as Patty the Anti-Semite, and not nearly as boisterous. They will just disappear and go back to their real jobs, except of course, JA, who has no job.

          • JuliaCleaver says:

            bravo Trailer of Donkey:

            If you took a 12 year old and told them that they get to act anyway they like and you will film it and than some adult edits it while listening to clown Posse while doing LSD..than they woke up and screamed WTF is this?

    • stalker is the candle in the chicken says:

      holy shit

    • Princess WideStance says:

      Sounds like someone is scared shitless of how much this site is going to grow when the show comes out.

  26. Truth Squad says:

    No home

    Except for the condo borrowed from parents

    Liar liar liar liar liar

  27. JuliaCleaver says:

    Donkey needs better website naming skills:

    Here a suggestion JA: PhoneWithHookerBoots.com

  28. cankles says:

    Julia Allison ‏ @JuliaAllison Reply Retweet Favorite · Open
    What is it like not to be judged for how you look or what you weigh? Someone (probably a male) let me know.

    For the billionth time Get a real schedule. Sleep, work out, get a real job and stop tweeting at 2:30 AM. Also stop getting plastic surgery. This is how you fix your life. You would not have to worry about us cat ladies if you took the advice. I am only saying this because I know you are reading the comments. If I had a nickle for every time this advice had been given here… You never follow it and it is time you did.
    Also get therapy.
    Disclaimer I am up at 2:30 AM because I have insomnia tonight but woman you do this every night. Get your life together already.

    • Can-Swiss says:

      Yeah, Julia, go to bed. We know you are reading here at this moment.

    • Whining Poofy Bore says:

      Cheezus. “What is it like to not be judged?” The fucking problem is that you care that you’re being judged. You can’t control how other people act or what they think (try as you might, with all the scheme juices bubbling!), but you can do something about how you respond. Tell it to your therapist, talk about it with Lilly, stop being such a goddamned victim.

    • pearipathetic donkey says:

      Um, you should know JA! You’re the one who spent time in Black Rock City.

    • psychotic today says:

      She reminds me of Samantha Brick. No one is judging you because of your looks. They judge you because you are a nasty individual. Woman are not jealous of you, they think you are insane. Men aren’t running away because you are fat, they think you are insane. Women you work with don’t hate you because you are beautiful. They hate you for admitting to flirting your way to the top. The stupidity burns.

  29. Can-Swiss says:

    JP, best post title ever!

  30. moonshineDONKEY says:

    Is no one going to TALK ABOUT THIS? Parsing to do…

    Julia Allison ‏ @JuliaAllison
    Hey Reblogging fans – I’m going to start commenting in the next few days. I figure, if I can’t beat you, I’ll join you. 😉

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      I just saw this. It’s early on the East Coast. I agree. Don’t engage.

    • DirtyLakeMichigan says:

      No! Do NOT engage.
      There has got to be a way the mods can tweak it so that everything she posts here automatically converts to a ‘webdings’ font or something!!!
      (OK… that didn’t copy/paste but you get the idea)

    • LEFOOLIEH says:

      I caught that in chat, too. She will not be engaged in chat. She tried during chatgate2 and failed, I don’t know why she’d think anyone would, ESPECIALLY now. #NEXT #donkno1curr

      Semi-OT but other lulzy tweets, gotta love the transparent attempt to pre-empt…

      “What is it like not to be judged for how you look or what you weigh? Someone (probably a male) let me know.

      “I’m a fucking mess, but do are you. Most of us are.” – Sarah Colonna, “Life As I Blow It”

      “You don’t always end up happy with what you thought would make you happy.” – @SarahColonna is absolutely correct.

      That said, getting what you (thought you) wanted always teaches the lessons you – & your ego – needed to learn most. It’s just not that fun.”

    • OMGPearskank says:

      If you ignore it, it will go away.

    • pearipathetic donkey says:

      Is if we all forgot about her ridiculous bullying and harassment of commenters. Oh, but that winky face emoticon tells me how twee, quirky, and Zooey Deschanel-like she is …

    • SchadenfreudianSlip says:

      1. This is Bravo’s idea.

      2. Agreed, ignore ignore ignore.

      3. Sociopath


    • Shamoolia says:

      JP and Jacy – please block her.

    • Charles Forman was her Jake Lodwick Lite says:

      We really do need to do our best to ignore, as said above. Can’t emphasize it enough. And yeah, this is totally prompted by network people.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        I am not going to block her. If she wants to comment here, let her — it’ll be like when she shows up on Gawker and gets hounded away.

        My advice: Don’t call her names. PLEASE don’t ass-kiss and always remember that she constantly lies and she is forever playing the melodramatic “poor me” card to get people to believe she is really SO. NICE. Just coolly dissect her lies — which is so easy to do — whenever she offers them up. Almost everything she says can be disproven by her own previous words, Tweets, actions. I mean look at that nomad thing as just one example.

        She lies so often she believes her own lies and doesn’t even know what the truth is on 100 different fronts. As soon as people repeatedly, calmly, non-confrontationally humiliate her by repeatedly pointing out her lies, she’ll go away. And Bravo, if it is in any way behind this (which I very much doubt), will either be thrilled or horrified to see her being revealed as the complete fraud that she is.

        Dadsers: We are preparing to call your daughter out on her bullshit face-to-face. I know you and your mentally disturbed princess consider that bullying. So you’d better start prepping a new round of cease-and-desists!!
        Be sure to send them to the right people this time, dummy!

        • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

          I just want to block her. I just kant with this attention seeking bullshit. She always comes over here when no one else is paying attention to her.

          • Jacy says:

            I am open to blocking her, but then I think it furthers her narrative that we are bullies who won’t even allow her to defend herself!

            In my opinion, let her come in and be completely humiliated. She’ll last a day at the most. She cannot handle being challenged or disbelieved. She’ll flounce off in a huff in no time.

            p.s. Nice fucking eyelashes. Is she KIDDING me?

          • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

            She has defended herself, but she just lies and only focuses on criticisms regarding her looks and ignore the fact that she is a scheming manipulative hosebeast. You just can’t with her, so why her come in here and stomp in the playground.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Maybe we should do a poll.

            Block or not block?

            Let the type-A haters decide!

          • Shamoolia says:

            DO A POLL!

  31. moonshineDONKEY says:

    Also: do not give into her publicity. Do not engage.

  32. BrayDotCom says:

    Please please do not engage with donk if she posts here. It’s just the endless pendulum swing of her repetitive craziness. Post and interact here. Then deny everything she said here. Then publish an article about her evil haters. Then have daddy threaten legal action. Then wipe her memory. Then post and interact here. It’s tiresome. She is an asshole.

    • DirtyLakeMichigan says:

      Ugh. I can’t freakin’ embed anything.


    • Who do you think you are? says:

      She’s just looking for attention and trying to control the dialogue (except she lacks the mental wherewithal to keep up. In stark contrast, see @Caro as an example of someone who can capably hold her own.)

      Donkey, the dozens of Miss Advised viewers will see you as you are. There’s no need to try and tussle with us here.

  33. DirtyLakeMichigan says:
  34. Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

    What does she see when she watches the above video? Those terrifying eyepelts, the facial spasms, the ghastly effects of facial injections: does it all Samantha Brick in her head?

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Black says:

      Same thing she sees in any fauxto or video of herself …
      Donkey sees tots the prettiest girl in all of the world. Duh!
      Need proof? Of her own volition, she posted THIS of herself.


  35. SchadenfreudianSlip says:

    I know she’s a lunatic and a sociopath and all that, but it still always amazes me when someone can just outright lie, on camera, like that. And I still wonder how her parents react when they see something like that. Do they point out “uh honey, but not a single sentence of that was true. You lived in our condo, and you also told us you were living with Pancakes. And you booked all your trips using our American Express Platinum concierge. And there were a number of expensive hotel bills on our Amex bill from some of your trips. And. . ..”

    Its just beyond crazy. All lies. On camera. Such a freaking psych0.

    • pearipathetic donkey says:

      Plus, there was a freaking press release about her moving out of the Coronado Condo.

  36. Shamoolia says:

    Such bullshit. When did she travel to “new” places she’d never been before? She travels to the same 3 or 4 boring-ass major domestic hubs and acts like she’s some kind of crazy adventurer? “Like, I needed to find a WHOLE FOODS!” Bitch please. Take a bus through Nicaragua and THEN tell me how you’re an “adventurer.”

    Also, I love how she still acts like having an iPhone is a status accessory. Donkey.

    • Grammarian says:

      This. Listening to it for the first time, you can imagine the couch surfing adventures to distant lands. But the truth is that it’s nyc and california, and the condo of the parents.

      Lies, all of it.

  37. CurlingIronsAtDawn says:

    I think she’s exercising her face, trying to work the injections out. Remember the Valentine’s Day video? She’d just gotten fresh injections in NY with BB. Hence, the giant bloat/tiny eyes. Now, she’s gotten so many injections around her mouth that it’s causing the sides of her lips to droop.

  38. Little girl pedaling alone in the rain with her own wet cake says:

    Please block this bish! This is OBVIOUSLY something coming from the Bravo PR department trying to do something to salvage the POISONOUS reaction they’re already getting from the 45 seconds of this shit show already out there.

    • pearipathetic donkey says:

      Has she ever publicly announced her appearance here before?

    • Scooby Don't says:

      Sending Donkey in here to match wits with the commenters is the equivalent of sending a toddler into a pit of wolverines with only a spork to protect themselves.
      Good job Bravo PR but it’s hard to have battle of wits with someone who’s unarmed.

      • Who do you think you are? says:

        Seriously. If true, shame on BRAVO PR for taking advantage of the mentally ill.

        • Shamoolia says:

          I really don’t think this is Bravo. Donkey fighting with a bunch of online haters via laptop doesn’t really make for compelling television. It’s just more of her fucking psycho off the rails 3 a.m. behavior, just like a million times before. It’s the “authenticity costume” video all over again. Same old shit. So boring.

          GO AWAY DONKEY. No one wants your stinky pelts and melty face up in hurrrrr.

  39. Scooby Don't says:

    She forgot to mention the most important piece of “technology” she uses to try to solve any problem she has. Twitter. I haven’t seen anyone who crowd sources all their issues, big and small, through crowd sourcing on Twitter as much as the Donkey.

  40. Edward R. Burro says:

    Gawker says that she was on Watch What Happens Live last night (with a million other Bravo-lebrities). Did anyone see it? How is it possible that she didn’t tweet about it?

    • Charles Forman was her Jake Lodwick Lite says:

      I only watched the first 30 minutes but I’m pretty sure she wasn’t actually in the audience. Andy ran the same reel that was posted here of all the new shows smooshed into one clip but I don’t think those people were in the audience.

      • Edward R. Burro says:

        Oh, Gawker made it sound like she was on stage with Andy and the Housewives but I couldn’t play the video to see for myself.

  41. Charles Forman was her Jake Lodwick Lite says:

    I really understand now why Julia always wants to be photographed and taped from a 3/4 angle (sorry if that’s the wrong term). The full on frontal of her face is unbearable. Also, how the hell did she get two nose jobs and end up with that bloated snout? Her nose looks absolutely enormous. Her nostrils are beastly.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Black says:

      Her nostrils are beastly

      I see what you did there. 🙂
      ZOOM IN on this! Go ahead, I dare you …

  42. fig says:

    If she is having a defensive mini breakdown after the first trailer airs, what is she going to do once this show actually airs? Start a campaign outlawing reality TV?

    She has reached the “I am uncomfortable to watch” stage of crazy again.

  43. bjnubbs says:

    I hope her face returns to normal shape, because she is or should be a good-looking lady. She shouldn’t be looking like this for another ten years.

  44. مهنا الحبيل says:

    Sorry about your foot JFA. I’m afraid you’ll break the other one if this shitshow lasts six episodes

  45. Jacy says:

    HOLY SHIT re: the Tammy Faye Bakker eyelashes.

  46. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Black says:


  47. BunnyBingo says:

    Lies and more lies fuelled by some form of speed. Also, Play-Doh face.

  48. Truth Squad says:

    Explanation for the on again off again daily youtube channel videos: jordan reid has one

  49. maid of dishonor says:

    I’m watching this for the first time (desk errands!) and the interviewer sounds like Perd Hapley from Parks & Rec.

  50. Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

    I am only able to watch this now. Holy shit.

    1. When did she ever visit a place she’d never been and was therefore so “bad-ass” for doing so? What? She overstayed her welcome on the couches belonging to friends who lived in cities she’d already been to several times before.

    2. Holy fuck the eyepelts.

    3. What the fuck is with the nose and the greasy patches on either side???? What is going on there?? No injections my ass!

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