Julia Allison Should Not Be Left Alone

When Thinspiration Julia’s away, the donkey will play and realize how horribly lonely and pathetic and depressed she is. I can imagine Julia scuttling about in her padded white apartment in a house coat and sausage curlers mumbling the following tweets aloud, over and over again, until they are simultaneously profound and meaningless.

There’s the finding a sense of accomplishment in the absolute menial. . .

I can’t seem to control my career or my dating life, but my groceries are in their proper place, goddamnit.

Organizing the food in your fridge: a tiny sense of control in an otherwise uncontrollable world.

Embracing her innermost Cathy comic. . .

My manager @Steven_Grossman just texted: “Found the perfect book for you!” followed by a photo of “Get Married This Year.” Kill Me. Please

I bought an orchid tonight at Trader Joe’s and managed to kill it in the 20 minutes it took to drive home. That’s a new plant-icide record.

The realization the she could use deep-dicking. . .

 i’m late to this little nugget, but it’s a sweet nugget… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M

@jellyd – I’m telling you, Drew, you NEED to do a cover of this song!!!

And finally the moment when Julia has, yet again, become untethered. . .

It occurred to me tonight when I was reading @PandoDaily that I don’t use the term “disruptive” *nearly* enough. That’s about to change, yo.

Like, “OMFG, that guy’s ironic ‘Angry Turds’ tee-shirt is so TOTALLY disruptive.” What? Am I doing it wrong?

Building a Virtual Harvard: Ambitious – Just Don’t Call it Disruptive! http://pandodaily.com/2012/04/03/the-minerva-project-lands-25-million-for-elite-virtual-university-ambitious-yes-just-dont-call-it-disruptive/#.T3vq91KwSgt.twitter via @pandodaily (by the talented @ErinGriffith)

Happiness is when “we are utterly ourselves in unaffected ease.” – Hand Wash Cold (Ed. Note: HA!)

“Somewhere deep in my skin was capacity for untarnished joy & freedom. How could I find it again?”

“And yet the more we search, the farther afield we stray. The more we question, the more we doubt.”

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22 Responses to Julia Allison Should Not Be Left Alone

  1. Albie Quirky says:

    She’s just like a “FOREVER ALONE” rage comic.

  2. Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

    Apparently, MDR is the new hanging out in Chicago alone with her parents in terms of a Donkey losing her mind. She is so utterly friendless and bored by her own existence.

    Also, does she think by quoting deep Jack Handy quotes she instantly becomes a deeper person? It is to LOL.

  3. AFGHANI says:

    OT, but can someone explain this to me: http://washington.cbslocal.com/2012/04/04/mccain-romney-should-choose-palin-as-vice-presidential-candidate/

    I thought the McCains realized how horrible a person Sarah Palin is? Their collective stupidity as a family will never cease to amaze…

  4. Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

    What is this bit about loss of control? Is this because the show is about to come out or is this a regular theme? Because saying you don’t have control of your life is a fucking cop out. She wants to bob in the ocean with no direction in life, fine. But that’s not how it works.

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      Agree, what is “out of control” when you’re JABs? She’s never had a direction. She just signed a year-long lease and is apparently buying a car and doing other “grown up” things, so what’s her problem?

  5. ShesJustStupid says:

    I get up to work out around 6 AM nyc time and it always creeps me out when she’s still tweeting out in MDR. She’s clearly feeling out of control and trying to soothe herself. By the way…what “career” is she talking about that she can’t control? What do you think she thinks her career is? I’ve never been there, but I imagine where she lives must be pretty isolating with not much going on, say, down the block. All she seems to do is drive to lounges to hear Skinny sing or hang at home with Skinny and Skinny’s friends. Bizarre.

  6. Nickelodeon Chic says:

    YOU GUYS! (I hope I will not get AK’d for this)

    Bravo has posted their upcoming lineup.

    Julia is there.

    And….

    So is Randi. On a different Bravo show.

    http://www.nbcuniversal.presscentre.com/Content/Detail.aspx?ReleaseID=9856&NewsAreaID=2&ClientID=5

  7. Scooby Don't says:

    Bet you wished you had some Girl Scout cookies in your freezer last night, didn’t you Donkey?
    Wonder how much of that food organizing was open, gorge, discard empty package and repeat.
    Poor Toilet Julia’s going to come home to an empty pantry and a fruitless search for any goodies she may have had.
    Who am I kidding? Like she eats anyway.

  8. Pukeowksi says:

    She’d make an interesting suicide. Boring herself to death.

  9. authenticity costume says:

    oh my god bunnies!!! it’s like christmas came early!!!
    MERRY/MARY/MERRIE CATMAS!

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