I See Donkey’s “Sugar Should Be Outlawed” Campaign Is Going Well

 

Remember last year, when she engaged upon one of her more ridiculous campaigns, advocating the notion that people on food stamps should be banned from buying sugary confections and that sugar, in fact, should be illegal? It caused a shitstorm, one she handled like such an adult, as she always does when the thousands of followers she’s solicited call her out on her profound arrogance and stupidity.

It seems her insistence that she limits the sugar she eats but wishes, dammit, it was illegal so she would never, ever be tempted — because goddammit it’s not her fault she has no self-control, it’s sugar’s and the government’s!!!! — has gone straight to hell.  She stole her German neighbor’s entire stash of chocolate the other day, and now she’s claiming her kitchen is strewn with the remnants of a coconut macaroon binge. Healthy! But seriously, The Poors should be arrested if they get their hands on sugar.

In a contest bt answering a booty text & hanging w my roomie @JuliaPriceMusic (bearing gf coconut macaroons frm Whole Foods), guess who won?

Hint: our entire kitchen is covered in coconut now.

And on Facebook on Wednesday:

I just ate a LOT of Klaus Moeller‘s chocolate. A lot. I feel a little like ralphing, but the article rewrite’s almost done, so … thanks Klaus!

Klaus Moeller: you ate pretty much ALL of my chocolate…

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147 Responses to I See Donkey’s “Sugar Should Be Outlawed” Campaign Is Going Well

  1. KashMoney says:

    1st!

    • mule on rouge says:

      I was actually here first, but I chose to take a minute to compose a comment that someone (other than myself) could read without wanting to stab me in the face with a fork.

      Sorry if that’s a bit convoluted. I want to stab you in the face with a fork.

  2. Rosalie says:

    I’d love some coconut macaroons & milk right about now.

  3. mule on rouge says:

    “Who” won — the answering or the hanging? She is literally illiterate.

    Also, NOBODY is surprised that lezzie lazy donkey would choose hoovering her girlfriend’s cookies.

    Also, also, a booty TEXT? Talk about adding insult to fucking insult.

  4. So That Happened says:

    Thoughts that coursed through Her Royal Brayciousness’s schemejuice-laced mind as she tweeted: How sexy is THAT, twitter followers that I purchased?! Girl-foodfight!! Lezbo thoughts anyone? Yep! We’re so sexy! And we don’t eat macaroons, we throw them at each other and smoosh them on each others tiny and cute bods!!! Then we leave it to your imagination so that you will see how sexy and desirable we are. I mean, I am. Not that whiney voiced bitch Bravo is paying to live with me. Can’t wait to see me on the Tee Vees having my gf macaroon foodfight! Yay me!!”

  5. Meow_Mix says:

    Yup, cause there’s nothing sexier to a guy than a former (?) bulimic binging on chocolate. Good call, Donks!

  6. 11th Wang says:

    What a fucking bitch. Honestly. One of my best friends is German and her parents regularly ship over big boxes of chocolate and candy to her, but, regardless of how much I love chocolate (especially of the European variety), I would NEVER eat more than one piece (after lots of prodding) because I don’t want to eat up her favorite kinds. They’re her reminders of home and it’s not like she can just walk up to the store and get some more.

    Julie also probably doesn’t realize that the chocolate products sold in Europe (Nutella included) are made with different ingredients than their Americanized versions. Not the same!! Very special! You don’t gorge your face with them, you fucking ENJOY them. Replacing them means waiting for another box to ship over from family or friends.

    After everything that Julie has done, THIS is the thing that gives me the rages? I know, right? An actual donkey would be more thoughtful. She is a cunt.

    • Meow_Mix says:

      Seriously. What a cunt.

      I remember when I was a freshman in college, my mom sent me a whole care package of vegan goodies, which I DEFINITELY couldn’t find anywhere near my middle-of-nowhere college in the south. I said to my psychotic roommate, “My mom sent me these. I’m trying out these chocolate chip cookies, would you like one?” She said no. The next day, when I went to get another one, THE BITCH HAD EATEN THE ENTIRE BOX. When I confronted her, she shrugged and said, “You offered them to me.”

      • 11th Wang says:

        Sounds familiar!! Here are Donks’ follow up comments on FB:

        Klaus: you ate pretty much ALL of my chocolate…
        Julia Allison: I have such a chocolate hangover!!!
        Klaus: GOOD !!!! (note: julia “liked” this post)
        Julia Allison: But it totally achieved the desired results: the rewrite killed! Thanks Klaus. 🙂

  7. Scooby Don't says:

    Keep on eating those feelings, Donkey.

  8. Delurkin says:

    OT: Why does Rachel Nichols of ESPN look like a horrible version of food coloring red-haired donk: [img]http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.sidelinehotties.com/stills/rachel-nichols-061227.png&imgrefurl=http://fangsbites.com/category/hot-chicks-in-sports-broadcasting/&h=247&w=293&sz=118&tbnid=u4r-DTJM-I2ORM:&tbnh=90&tbnw=107&prev=/search%3Fq%3Drachel%2Bnichols%2Bwiki%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=rachel+nichols+wiki&docid=6UDCWjWvyYDWNM&sa=X&ei=IqMRT_vRLsSKgweD8dzFAw&ved=0CE4Q9QEwBQ&dur=195[/img]

    • Delurkin says:

      Sorry, pic post fail, mea culpa, Sports fingers so fat so sory!

    • Burra Fea says:

      Yeah, I see a little resemblance especially when Donk went flaming troll red. Rachel Nichols has an irritating screen presence too. I remember a couple of years ago when ESPN had her outside of Brett Favre’s house for weeks looking like a crazed stalker.The colorist at ESPN must hate her.

    • ks says:

      I don’t see it.
      [img]http://i44.tinypic.com/zjw01u.jpg[/img]

      There’s a much closer resemblance than the fuckin t-mobile slut tho.
      [img]http://i43.tinypic.com/fwq4qo.jpg[/img]

  9. ShesJustStupid says:

    God, what was she on last night? eating cookies, pretending to talk to prices…why doesn’t she ever GO anywhere or DO anything interesting? I mean, all I did last night was see “We Need to Talk About Kevin,” and drink too much wine, but I’d hate to have her life. Does anyone else notice that Toilet Julia only seems to surface on weekends? I wonder if she lives somewhere else during the week.

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      “princes”

    • Stripper Shoes at Burning Man says:

      Toilet Julia is taking care of Taryn Softporn’s kitty cat this weekend. Notice how Taryn thanked Toilet Julia for this favor, but not Faux-Lezbo Julia. Does that mean that Toilet Julia doesn’t really live with Faux-Lezbo Julia? Or that Faux-Lezbo Julia was not allowed to be involved in the care and feeding of Taryn’s kitty cat? Cat ladies want to know.

    • Can-Swiss says:

      I must have missed the post but why is other Julia called Toilet Julia?

      • ShesJustStupid says:

        Taryn posted of her in a public bathroom with another friend. She had her tights pushed down. The other woman was squatting on the floor. Very dumb.

    • Kissy Face to a Crowd of Crickets says:

      How was the “Kevin” movie? I probably won’t see it, as the book freaked me out enough, but I am interested in how they adapted it.

  10. Bouncing Little Burro says:

    Thanks to RBD, I’ve jumped on the Downton Abbey train. It’s phenomenal!

    • Orwell-Style Cyberpolice Force says:

      I did, too, thanks to RBD… never thought I would’ve liked it but I LOVE IT. Thank you thank you.

      • Team Matthew says:

        Can’t stop. I tried to buy it legit but now I am all the way not. Must. See. Every. Episode. Now. Finishing the Christmas special as soon as all the cats leave the house.

    • Actual Shower Vommer says:

      Same! This weekend I finished the We Need To Talk About Kevin book, watched the movie and started Downton Abbey on Netflix. And I have two (insane, formally feral) cats, so it’s like the RBD Culture Fair in my apartment.

      • ShesJustStupid says:

        I’ve started watching Season 2 of Downton Abbey on PBS. I have to say, I wasn’t crazy about the opener, but I loved Season 1. ASV–what did you think of the movie? I saw it last night. Very stylized vision of the book. I thought a few important things were left out, but I can’t separate the movie from the book. I wonder what the experience was like for people who saw it but hadn’t read the book first? The reveiwers seem to like it.

        • Actual Shower Vommer says:

          I enjoyed it, but I think if you hadn’t seen the movie you wouldn’t have liked it too much (my boyfriend…I mean…cat…was watching it over my shoulder and was like”WTF?”).

          My main issue with the film was the underdevelopment of Franklin’s character- he’s such a huge presence in the book (especially his attitude towards Eva during her pregnancy with Kevin) and then he’s just kind of …there in the film.

          • ShesJust Stupid says:

            I really missed the set up pre-pregnancy. I thought john c reilly was miscast. I enjoyed it for the most part but I don’t think I would have if I hadn’t read the book. Also, there’s an important question she asked at the end of the book that’s missing.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            SPOILER ALERTS!! DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE READING THE BOOK!!!

            It was in the version I just saw if the question was “why?” But they didn’t have him saying he was sorry in the film, which he does in the book. Also, remember in the book when he gets sick and there are two weeks when he is loving towards her because he is vulnerable and needs her? I wondered at the end of the book, in that scene, if he simply was expressing remorse because he was sick. And when he gets out and moves in … well …. you know …….

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            I just watched it on that site Mule on Rouge posted here the other day!

            I think if you hadn’t read the book, you’d be totally lost … and also totally sympathetic to Eva, since you don’t get any of her musings, really, so the whole narrative is different. There’s very little dialogue, not even very much conflict between her and Franklin. It is just that there is a Bad Seed in the house, one of them sees it, the other doesn’t. Franklin was totally undeveloped, and John C. Reilly badly miscast, I thought. They needed to develop the plot a lot better. But Tilda Swinton was great, and so were all the Kevins, in particular the teenaged Kevin. But again, not really the same story as the book without being inside Eva’s head.

            SPOILER ALERT — DO NOT READ FURTHER IF YOU ARE READING THE BOOK

            One thing I didn’t quite buy in the book or the film is why everyone is so awful to her when she was a victim of him too, and that’s even weirder in the film, right, since there is no indication in the film she played any part whatsoever in what shaped him — just that she’d given birth to a Bad Seed.

          • ShesJust Stupid says:

            SPOILER

            The question not asked was “why didn’t you kill me?”. But maybe in the book that was a question she asked internally. I read it a long time ago. They did a great job with the sound in the movie (as opposed to the music, which I didn’t like). Agree about the town ganging up on her.

          • ShesJustStupid says:

            I meant to say above that I would NOT have enjoyed the movie if a hadn’t read the book….

      • bitchface says:

        wow, do you have fried cheeto & franzia stand as well?

      • Helena (Simultaneously Equal Parts) says:

        Can I just ask? Did anyone else notice (in the book) that at one or more points she says that Kevin was born in 1984 and elsewhere that it was 1983, or did I just make the mistake of taking too much MDMA?

  11. Bouncing Little Burro says:

    Her new dude is a feeder. What other guy would find these tweets charming and/or attractive?

    • Stripper Shoes at Burning Man says:

      Soooooo many guys find her tweets charming and attactive. It’s a really great filter for men. Show them her feed. If they like it/like her, stay far far away. If they are repulsed, proceed.

    • SchadenfreudianSlip says:

      But isn’t this a prime example of what is so frustrating about sociopaths to those who are in on the truth about the person? For people with no knowledge of the history or true nature of the beast and who, upon a cursory review of her online presence, are only exposed to her BS storyline, much of this behavior can seem charming, quirky, cute, whatever you want to call it. But we, who are very well versed in her history of 100% lies, lunacy and general vile behavior, cannot imagine who would possibly buy into any of what she’s selling.

      She is a nobody. Her “fame’ was limited to a small NY-based media circle, with some ties to the west coast tech world. Generally speaking, no one knows who she is. So she can always re-invent herself and there will always be people who know nothing of her history and who are therefore intrigued by the very behavior that disgusts us.

      I don’t blame the suckers who tweet that crap to her. We all know that anyone who spends any real time around her, will join us eventually (I’m talking to you JPathetic). And if not, they’ve got their own issues.

      Sorry to ramble. Vile vile Donkey.

  12. Diabetic Feet says:

    Haha lol she’s so quirky and so funny and so open and so nice and SO RETARDED.

    Seriously. She’s retarded. That’s it. She’s highly functional in certain circumstances, she’s verbally proficient, but her cognitive processes are fucked. I bet her IQ is shockingly low, and but for the family money she’d be the slow girl at a Red Lobster everyone gets blowjobs from.

    It’s almost sad. Is it right to laugh at a disabled person?

    • Onocentaur says:

      I am trying to think of a fate sadder than “girl at Red Lobster everyone gets blowjobs from” and am unable to do so.

  13. KashMoney says:

    I would also like to suggest Flusher Price as an alternate nick for Toilet Julia.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Beautiful.

      • bucket of wine says:

        Albie, I’m watching the No Impact Man documentary right now and (I think) you’re in it! About 30 minutes in, where he’s reading the Gawker comments about his project! Catladies are all around us. So proud, so fat.

        • bitchface says:

          ??????????/

          and

          /../????????????????????????????

          • bucket of wine says:

            It shows the screen of his laptop really clearly while he’s reading out the comment and I’m pretty sure it’s Albie’s old nom de Gawk

        • Albie Quirky says:

          !!! My snark is on film!!!!

          • bitchface says:

            seriously what are you guys talking about? Inquiring minds are inquiring.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            There was some asshole who did this whole stunt where he was “No Impact Man” (he turned off his electricity and didn’t use toilet paper and he made his wife commute to her Wall Street job on a Razr scooter, IIRC) and he was roundly mocked for it on Gawker, where lots of the catfolk used to be commenters.

            Apparently, he’s reading the mockeries in his movie about himself and his doucherie.

          • bitchface says:

            I know that part, but why are you in it? he read your comment?

            bucket of wine says:
            January 14, 2012 at 1:10 pm
            Albie, I’m watching the No Impact Man documentary right now and (I think) you’re in it! About 30 minutes in, where he’s reading the Gawker comments about his project!

            (btw loved the Law & Order spoof they did on that too, where the wife would go to the bar to use the toilet/paper and drink and have an affair)

  14. LetItExplode says:

    She’s writing again? It is to laugh.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      It’s some bogus column for some mystery publication lined up for her by Bravo so that she doesn’t make their show look like the total lie that it is. Again, not a job she was able to get on her own. Daddy got her the TMS job, which she blew, and Bravo got her this one, which she will most certainly blow because goddammit, why should she have to work? She should get paid just for Being Julia Allison.

    • Helena (Simultaneously Equal Parts) says:

      Her glaringly obvious hatred of writing cracks me up every time.

      • Donksers says:

        She hates ANYTHING that involves work. I imagine she’s already tried to get TaskRabbit to write the fake column for her.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        No kidding. Find a new career, dumbass. If you hate writing, then you’re not a writer.

        • SchiapWTF says:

          What amazes me is how little content output she thinks makes her “a writer.” Maybe Bravo will hire her a good ghost. A ghost could easily pump out that relationship book she’s been claiming to be writing for years in a month or two.

        • KashMoney says:

          lots of writers hate writing. they just hate not-writing more.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            I know we have had this discussion before here, but I really dispute that, as someone who writes for a living and hangs out almost entirely with other writers. None of us hate the writing; it’s the creative outlet that we need and crave, otherwise, we wouldn’t do it. I don’t know any writers — novelists, mag. writers, newspaper writers — who hate writing.

            Other parts of the job suck, but not that part. I know reporters who don’t like writing, but love the reporting and so have to struggle through the writing. But columnists, fluff-piece writers like her? Why would you do it if you hate writing? Why would you be an architect if you hate architecture, or a teacher if you hate teaching? She needs to just accept that the only thing she has a passion for is admiring herself; other than that, wedding planning.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            The writers who hate to write—some of the more celebrated examples are Fran Lebowitz, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and Flaubert—are the exception rather than the rule.

            “Writer enjoys writing” is the “dog bites man” story, so you don’t hear it as often.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            F. Scott hated to write? Is that based on the quote “All good writing is swimming under water and holding your breath?” I never took that as meaning he hated to write, just that it was a struggle sometimes, as it can sometimes be, but usually a struggle you enjoy having. And also, his personal life was fucked up, his wife was insane, too much drinking, followup to Gatsby wasn’t that well-received — but I never knew he said he hated writing.

          • KashMoney says:

            I am a writer, who is staying home this weekend writing because the MS is due Monday, and I hate writing.

            I can’t speak for the writers you know, of course.

            @Albie: Not being pedantic but I would regard them as more the “minority” rather than the “exception”. Meaning, just because there’s less of them doesn’t mean they’re an aberration of some sort.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            If you hate it, why do you do it? I am perplexed by this. I became a writer because it’s all I was good at, seriously. I have no other talent. Well, except blowing, and I didn’t want to be a sex trade worker. And maybe cooking.

          • KashMoney says:

            What I like about writing is the lifestyle it offers me, meaning:
            No alarm clock
            Never have to go into an office
            Good money
            Having a legacy when I die
            Meeting fascinating people
            Never having to interact with someone I didn’t want to
            Small workload (I usually put in 3 hour days)
            Social cred
            Intellectual cred
            Can be myself, no small-talk

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            That makes sense.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            In “The Crack-Up”, Fitzgerald talks about hating writing a lot. But as you say, Jacy, his life bit for lots of reasons (especially by that point).

            KashMoney, I’ll buy “minority” rather than “exception”! But all the writers I know really do love writing, to the point where they do it as a hobby as well as a gig (the journalists are all writing novels, the novelists are writing screenplays or fanfic or both, the screenwriters are all doing non-fiction books, &c., &c.)

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Yes, that describes me and most of my pals. I write for a living and I write for a hobby. In fact, I think I probably spend 12-14 hours a day writing in some capacity. I write so much, that I prefer to communicate in writing rather than verbally. The odd time me and my man are having an “issue,” I will tell him I don’t want to talk, and I’ll explain myself and how I feel in writing. It works. He’s a good writer too and we calmly work through things that way. It’s pretty weird, though, I admit.

  15. Frequent Liar Miles says:

    Coconut macaroons are generally gluten free; it’s kind of the point of them that they are flourless. But dumb Donkey has to pipe up with OMG “gf coconut macaroons.” She probably never understood that macaroons and macarons are not related — in fact I think she once referred to macaroons when she posted a picture of macarons. Just like the time she was banging on about some OMG “vegan guacamole” (also inherently vegan unless sour cream is added, but that’s an abomination.) She is so ignorant about food basics (and about everything, basically.)

    • 11th Wang says:

      Macarons are gluten free too!

    • New Year New You says:

      Eh, my love for almonds means I have to correct this. Macaroons – English word, macarons – French word. Macaroons also originally made with almond paste.

    • bitchface says:

      Normally I’d agree although on that one point I’d have to give her a pass. I didn’t even realize there was a diff and I LOVE to cook (and eat, obvs) and travel the world (and by that I mean watch cooking shows on TV and cheez-its).

  16. Albie Quirky says:

    She says that she’s looking for a husband, but she is constantly self-undermining. I am not so much a “Rules” girl, but Tweeting OMG I MIGHT BE SOMEONE’S FUCKBUDDY BUT INSTEAD BINGE EATING WITH MY ROOMIE is the biggest bonerkiller ever.

    • mcakez: Taste the Passion! says:

      It’s also trashy.

      Seriously, she is 30. That shit isn’t cute when ditzy 23 year olds wear it, and it is even less cute when an insane, ever-changing, self-important, judgmental 30 year old Donkey tries to slap it on as costume of the week.

      Remember last year when she was being a right proper ‘lady’ for Flapjack, and going on about Kate Middleton never putting forward a wrong heel? Now, a year later, she is like, “I’M A SEXY SEXY GIRL!!! GUYS WANT TO FUCK ME!!! I COULD BE HAVING SEXY SEXY SEX WITH A GUY JUST FOR SEXY SEXY SEX SAKE RIGHT NOW!!! SEXXY!”

  17. Petey Teabaugher says:

    I really don’t think any normal guy actually tries to bang JuJu. Those who set out to do so usually stop as soon as she starts speaking. It’s like they wandered into a thorny bush…really unpleasant and painful. They can sense the crazy, and run for the hills. She’s so fucking annoying that it’s not worth listening to just to (maybe) get laid.

    Instead I think the only way she can get guys to sleep with her is to throw herself at them, preferably while they’re intoxicated. Who else but a drunk would put up with her shit?

    • Stripper Shoes at Burning Man says:

      The only guys who want to f-ck her and want to stick around are fame-whores themselves. They think that if they are involved with her then they too can become “FAMOUS!!” and “on the Tee Vees!” I actually know one of her sociosycophants who told me this. To people like that, it doesn’t matter what is wrong with her mentally or emotionally. She is viewed as a means to an end, and those who would view her that way are probably so emotionally and mentally damaged themselves that they wouldnt mind her insanity.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        Enthralling. Greasy? Because I have heard that about him.

        • Stripper Shoes at Burning Man says:

          I don’t know Greasy personally. I do know one of her other psychosycophants personally, and when I was like, DUDE, what the F-CK are you doing talking to that loon? That beast? That hosebag of falseness? That walking (in Tribune pumps) atrocity? And he was all like, oh, she’s not even my style, but she has so many many followers and so many fans that it can only be good if I can make an impression on her and maybe make an impression on “Someone Important” who might be reading her tweets. And by “an impression”, the idea was “if Julia thinks I am cute, then she will reply to my tweets, and then I will be validated as cute by her readers and then “Someone Important” will believe that I am cute and offer me the “Get You Famous For Doing Sh-t-Assed NOTHING” job of my dreams that I truly (in my narcissistic sociopathic brain) think that I deserve.

          On the other hand, maybe he just thinks she’s hot and wants to bang her once or twice, and is willing to put up with a few hours hours of braying voice and insanity in order to do so. I mean, there ARE men out there who have tutu obsessions too. Creepy as that may seem, I mean be.

          OR perhaps she puts herself out there as a total slut, so it appears that she would be an easy lay, and maybe he would just tell her “Shut your trap or I take my dick and leave immediately”.

          But here’s the rub…she would NEVER NEVER NEVER have sex with someone who couldn’t enhance HER career. So people like this dude that i know…they are simply SOL (sh-t outta luck).

          Back to the basement.

          • Dog Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

            “…OR perhaps she puts herself out there as a total slut, so it appears that she would be an easy lay…”

            I’ve said this before, between her mouth agape, watch me give a blowjob to this sundae/cinnamon roll/coffee cake/frozen yogurt/wedding cake/yellow tooth Radi Zuckerberg she is putting out the “I-will-bang-you-in-2.5-seconds-or-less-vibe.

            So, yeah, I think it’s a bit of this, too. Then they see what a monster they took on and bolt for the door.

          • Donksers says:

            So guys want to latch on to Donkey because she’s famous for being a childish, self-obsessed, lazy, deranged asshole? This makes no sense to me.

          • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

            Hey, some dudes like women who are utterly incapable of competing with them in any way. If that’s your thing, Donkey might be your wet dream! I mean, she can’t even keep up with the type of men willing to date her! However, unfortunately for her, the class of men with these preferences seems to be small and shrinking.

          • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

            I have issues with most people, but it gives me hope for my gender that Donkey seems to be having great difficulty getting a date.

          • Who do you think you are? says:

            Amid all of these theories, one things stands true: she doesn’t stand a chance in hell of having a long-term relationship.

      • Dog Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

        A++++++

    • Effervescent Suppositories says:

      I’m surprised she hasn’t got a boyfriend for the duration of the taping. Aren’t there any tv wannabes left in Hollywood?

  18. delusional donkey says:

    in what way does one eat a macaroon that it ends up covering the kitchen? macaroons are not an inherently messy food. i truly don’t get it! it’s such a weird lie. what’s the point?!

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

      THIS. But then again, maybe Donkey has trouble aiming food into her surgically-altered maw.

    • bitchface says:

      were they homemade? (with tears and Lilly droppings??)

      • Norse Horse, Task Ass says:

        She said they were from Whole Foods, not homemade. Yeah the “kitchen covered in coconut” is such a strange lie.

    • Stripper Shoes at Burning Man/Anti-Donkite/ says:

      The point of this is “so that happened”. We are to imply girly food fighting took place…cutesy coconut flying all over the place, landing on their tiny and cute girlparts. And then the implication is they licked it off of each other (but left the kitchen for the Bravo people to clean). This is known by the Lesbian community as Lesfauxs. Or Celesbians. Or so I am told by my actual lesbeaux friends.

  19. "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

    Julia loves the idea of being a writer, but she has nothing to say. Books, articles etc are just a vehicle for transformation, but she (like many other assholes) fetishizes the mere form. DO fuck off, donkey.

    • @JuicySweatPants are always a total #fail says:

      and she never reads anything—but when she does, she UNDERLINES
      and PHOTOGRAPHS it…while wearing an MIT cap!!

    • Occupy Donkeytown says:

      Plus, it’s one more way for her to emulate Sex and the City

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

      On one hand, she has a face/screen presence for radio, and a voice for silent films. Furthermore, she’s totally unreliable, unbelievably selfish, shallow, gauche, and all-around torture to work with. Her singing voice is so awful that even someone as self-congratulatory as her can’t bring herself to expose it to the world, so she posts lip-dubs instead. She’s too dumb to make her living by her wits in fields like tech, science, or comedy, but she thinks she’s very smart and clever. Despite being attractive by normal standards, she’s average- and trashy-looking by non-porn model standards. All of her business ventures could hardly have failed more completely.

      On the other hand, SHE TOTS DESERVES FAME, ACCOLADES, AND RICHES. This leaves only one option for her: the exciting field of fluff journalism! She will write a series of meaningless pieces picked up by editors first because “Wow, a pretty girl who writes??? How quirky is that! So accessible for our readers!” and then because the editors are begged to do so by Julia’s father.

      So yes, after careful consideration, I think that given Julia’s high opinion of herself and total lack of any and all talent, becoming a fluff writer was her only option for employment. Of course, said lack of talent coupled with unbelievably poor work ethic guaranteed that she would become a very poor and unsuccessful fluff writer.

      • Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

        Complete and Exhaustive List of Julia Allison’s Talents and Qualifications:

        1. Julia is more physically attractive than approximately 80% of the world’s population. Indeed, a more 560,000,000 people are more physically attractive than she is.

        End of list.

        And that is the tragedy of Julia Allison.

        • Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

          (I thought I gave a fair number there, but I’m like to hearing guesses/commentary from other cat ladies and gents.)

      • Helena (Simultaneously Equal Parts) says:

        That sounds like a fair assessment, PLUS: let’s not forget that for Donkey, writing = writing about Donkey. Major attraction right there.

        • Who do you think you are? says:

          The older she gets (sorry, it’s true) and the more bloggers of all stripes establish themselves simply through regular content that they produce for free or minimal ad revenue, the less room there is for Donkey even in the fluff piece world. Magazines aren’t going to continue to pay for that shit when there are any number of other more talented options.

          Really, the only other thing she could possibly do is be on a reality show. Too bad Donkey sees that as an accomplishment rather than the sad end-of-the-road it actually is.

      • Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

        A+

  20. mcakez: Taste the Passion! says:

    I thought she can’t stand ppl who txt w/ abbr.?

  21. Stripper Shoes at Burning Man/Anti-Donkite/ says:

    I just read the linked-to material where she got reamed out for her comments about sugar and her about-face behavior regarding her Jack break-up. I have to say that for a moment there, I felt for her….because she’s so immature and so out of her league and trying so hard. Of course she’s older now and still acting retarded. So, I don’t. I can’t. I give up trying to the Donkey.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Why is it so difficult for her to say: “Yeah, you’re right, I over-stated it by saying ‘sugar should be outlawed.’ Sometimes I speak hyperbolically when I shouldn’t.” She can NEVER, EVER admit to being wrong in an argument. She would be a nightmare to go out with/be friends with.

      • KashMoney says:

        i don’t think she even perceives it as wrong/right. it’s more a cognitive dissonance thing where she’s constantly a different person due to her lack of sense of self. there are constant hints to this effect: “i meant it at the time” “I have to be the custodian of her memories” “that was months ago” She exists in a fluid reality of her psychotic making where rules of logic don’t apply.

        (but yes, I of course completely agree with your conclusion!!!)

  22. Arl says:

    “Definitely not hanging at Target tonight. ;-)”

    Gross.

    • Dog Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

      Because she never reads here.

      “You fattie basement ladies, I’ll show you what a big ol’ ho I can be ’cause the mens want all of this busted face o’ mine!”

  23. Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

    I see she’s longing for a Craft Room. Because she’s so crafty! Stick glue! Wish boxes!

    • Imminent Meltdown says:

      Ooooh … Could She be worse than Brit? Could she?

    • Stripper Shoes at Burning Man/Anti-Donkite/ says:

      She ought to pack it up when she is dumped by Bravo and ask Brit if she can couch surf there for a few days and just never leave. Eventually she can move into Brit’s basement and they can do crafts together forever and ever and have lots of cats.

  24. Judy says:

    OT Rambo tweets an invite for an interview at Houston’s Ruggles Restaurant to Allison Cook… gets turned down, when she asks why, here’s the response:

    @MaryRambin um, I am one of those old people who harsh your restaurant buzz. I remember that from your NonSociety days.

    @MaryRambin thanks, but just doesn’t make sense for either of our “brands.” And the new Ruggles….I think not.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Oh, whoops! This is why we use email for business correspondence, not Twitter, MareMare!

    • juliaspublicist says:

      I love Ruggles! Oh, and Mary Rambin has a brand? And is Mary implying that Ruggles needs Mary? It is to laugh.

      • Dog Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

        My fav part was after this lady’s snipe of “I remember you from your Non-Society days” was Mary’s reply: “I don’t know what you mean by that!”

        Darling, I think you do, I really think you do.

      • Dyspeptic says:

        Methinks Mary is making an exceptionally lame effort to shill the new Ruggles here. Just a hunch. Also: JP, I hate to be the one to harsh your buzz, but you should google “Ruggles walk out.”

  25. This one is no-boner says:

    … definitely not at Target tonight, wink?
    WHO DOES SHE THINK CARES!? WHO DOES SHE THINK IS EVEN VIEWING THESE TWEETS? Besides us, natch. She’s just… insane and sad. A terrible combo.

    • This one is no-boner says:

      And what’s with all the West Coast love and DEVOTION? Doth protest too much, me thinks. It amazes me that she dispenses ‘advice’ to others yet she has zero self-awareness or the slightest clue as to how desperate and pathetic she herself is. I know audiences will pick this up immediately. This basement will be HUGE, if not 5o other sites will be born…

      TL;DR She misses New York, her status markers here, and the life she could have had – had she not been a sociopathic doomed Donkey. Instead, we get I LOVE MY LIFE I DONT NEED YOU I LOVE IT HERE LOVE LOVE LOVE IT HERE CAN’T YOU TELL I LOVE IT HERE I DON’T MISS NEW YORK I LOVE MARINA DEL WHO?!

      • pearipathetic donkey says:

        All she ever does in LA is go to Target.

        • Effing Ineffably Un-Effable says:

          IT’S SO LA! The other day I saw Zach de la Rocha drive up to Target in his Mercedes and got out, drinking his Blueprint Cleanse and eating macaroons. His Betsey Johnson handbag hung breezily over his right shoulder, Gucci sunglasses cocked slightly on his face, reflecting a certain devil-may-care, relaxed but very put-together look.

          From his bag, he produced a molotov cocktail, heaved it at the Target, dropped the bag, pissed on the mercedes, and jumped in a friend’s car as they headed east in the direction of Boyle to grab a special steak picado at Manuel’s.

          In a city of posers and pretenders, it’s amazing how she can’t even rise to the level of poser and pretender. Even if she lived here 20 years she wouldn’t be a naturalized Angeleno.

          GET OUT OF MY BEACH COMMUNITY.

  26. Effervescent Suppositories says:

    Meanwhile for my Downtown chums … a peep into the earlier life of Maggie Smith.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=lzYpNiDveM0

  27. Shamoolia says:

    Did anyone see the “we can do anything” skit on SNL last night? So appropriate to our donkey.

  28. Sacred Scrapbooks says:

    The role Julia is imposing on Julia Pee is interesting: sidekick and accomplice. From stupid matching Christmas sweaters on the beach to the suggestion that Pee joins her in food binges, to this:

    @JuliaAllison Julia Allison
    Caravan of Shame from Bel Air with @JuliaPriceMusic … Hahahahah

    Yes, Julia Pee is getting her slut on too! Just like Donkey!

    This won’t end well (and she’s not even blonde).

    • Dog Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

      I have to say, the day I start being called “Toilet _____” on a blog is the day I might look around and wonder if it was all worth it. Is Toilet Julia going to get, what, 100 more fans from this Bravo appearance??? If that. Taryn Southern is featuring Toilet Julia in her videos all the time and that never gained any traction so if hitching your caboose to a Donkey worth it?

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