Poll for Cuntbunnies’ Photoshop Contest

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Sorry for the delay. Thanks to everyone who entered. Voting and pictures are after the jump.

Voting is below the pictures (open until Wednesday)!


(1) “Bray Gardens” by Kash Money

(2) “JabberDonkey” by Donkey of Perdition

 

(3) “Julia and Nutty Granny Moneybags at the Pancake House” by mcakez

(4) “Homage to CB’s cat cards” by Amy

(5) “Marina Yel Bray” by mcakez

(6) “Donkey Ho-Tay” by mcakez

(7) “Scheme Juice Energy Drink” by Pescachickenarian

Your Favorite Photoshop for the Cuntbunnies Contest?

  • (1) "Bray Gardens" by Kash Money (31%, 100 Votes)
  • (6) "Donkey Ho-Tay" by mcakez (30%, 98 Votes)
  • (2) "JabberDonkey" by Donkey of Perdition (15%, 47 Votes)
  • (5) "Marina Yel Bray" by mcakez (11%, 37 Votes)
  • (7) "Scheme Juice Energy Drink" by Pescachickenarian (11%, 35 Votes)
  • (4) "Homage to CB's cat cards" by Amy (1%, 4 Votes)
  • (3) "Julia and Nutty Granny Moneybags at the Pancake House" by mcakez (0%, 1 Votes)

Total Voters: 322

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146 COMMENTS

      • Ha! For what it is worth, I promised CB I’d do a photoshop, since I was off all last week. Then I kept experimenting and… it got kinda fun… frustrating (since I suck at it and kept fucking up), but kinda fun. Hence how I somehow wound up with three. These might not be the last I make.

  1. “Scheme Juice” by Pescachickenarian got my vote for bonus username relevancy, but damn, hard to choose when they’re all so good.

  2. Can someone post a pic of Toilet Julia? For some reason I can see it on the Twatter? xoxoxo

        • I like how she is squatting down like that because she REALLY wanted to make sure her face was included in the this shot.

        • I can’t believe that she is popping a squat in the corner, it’s akin to the people who smear feces on walls of public bathrooms. Wouldn’t she also be peeing all over her and Toilet Julia’s shoes? OTOH who in their right mind would put their face so close to a public toilet lid/another person peeing. Wouldn’t Toilet Julia Price freak out and scream GTFO away from me, I’m pissing.

          Either way everyone there, including Taryn Southern for taking that picture, are fucking gross, really gross.

          • Bro, I don’t think she is actually taking a dump on the floor, but now you got me wondering.. She *does* have her hand up to her chin like that statue “The Thinker”, as if to say “Why.. did I eat that?”

            One thing is for sure, if hell freezes over and either one actually gets somewhere in media, this shit will be all over TMZ. It’s too bad they can’t blame it on Donkey, this kind of faux pas has her fingers smeared all over it.

          • This is so funny she went from “Pretty Julia” to “Toilet Julia” like this.. Living with Donk is bringing bad things into her life.. d’oh. 🙂

          • There is literally physical contact between the Squatter and Toilet Julia’s pee towels (and they look quite moist), WTF. Were these people raised in a barn?

          • High school and sorority girls bring deliberately stupid. Typically not grownassed women pushing on or into their 30’s. Maybe they’re both a bit special, or touched in the head, which explains both this pic and their Donks association.

      • On the little tree branch table to the left of the sink there appears to be a large roll of paper towels and several stacks of folded paper towels. It looks like Toilet Julia has placed several generous stacks of paper towels on the toilet seat, instead of using either a) the provided seat covers or b) strips of toilet paper like a normal person would. Does anyone else see this?

        When she’s done, are the paper towels just going to be pushed into the toilet and flushed? If so, that’s the last time that toilet will flush tonight. I feel sorry for the other club patrons & especially the poor employee who has to clean up their mess!

        • Right? Those towels come stacked accordion-style (meant to be used in a dispenser) & probably weren’t already all over the floor before idiots up there decided to host a floato shoot in the john.

      • I went straight from here to DListed and was confronted with this picture:

        [img]http://dlisted.com/files/hbkatemid.jpg[/img]

        & totally thought she was on the loo, too.

    • YAYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Toilet Julia is awesome! And Squatting Meg is almost as awesome. Thank you thank you for posting this.

  3. I had to vote for “Homage to CB’s cat cards” by Amy just because it included so many tuxedo cats. My girl is a tuxie, and I have to support her kind.

  4. I love them all, but I had to vote for Marina del Bray because the Jaws-donkey makes me laugh and I like the Surprised Cat in the corner. Have you ever seen a surprised, wide-eyed cat? I have not.

    Jabberdonkey was definitely a tie for 1st because of the great concept and artistry, but because I wanted cakez to win because she had three awesome entries.

    Amy’s Homage stole my heart with the cat playing drums with chicken drumsticks. I kind of want to crop that guy out and blow it up into a 5×7 for my wall.

  5. JuliaAllison Julia Allison
    I wonder if at a certain point, past an unknown threshold, dating so many people starts to devalue all of them. Thoughts?
    2 hours ago

    Uh. What? Apparently Julia “devalues” people. There seems to be some meanspirited vengeful feelings toward someone she’s dated in the past- maybe all of them- but what a weird formulation of a “question”. What is she talking about? The more people you date, the more you retroactiveally dislike the people you’ve dated?
    NPD alert. They’ve all let her down, you see.

    “Thoughts?”. Yeah, you have waaaay too much time on your hands. Get a real job.

    • Probably the lie that she’s ‘friends’ w/ all of her exes is surely catching up w/ her but she wants Bravo to think that the only reason she doesn’t rustle any up for filming is because she no longer values them, she can’t *yawn* be bothered.

    • I understand this question, not at all.

      It does not matter as the end will be the same. A dumb selfish donkey will be an alone donkey. So she needn’t worry her pretty little mane – she will be alone for life.

    • I wonder if she’s working on a new column. Her words make no sense. And it’s curious that she had all those deep thoughts after hiking with Jake Hurwitz, who is dating the tiny and cute Bee Shaffer. I don’t get why seemingly normal people agree to hang out with her.

    • I understand it as weird premise for crazy dating math: If I have been with that many man, i can not have liked any of them that much, so maybe they stop counting and emotionally I am a virgin again! Not crazy lady – hopeless romantic and still totally pure!

    • ‘Get a job’ is pretty much applicable to any tweet Donkey writes. Especially tweets with ‘thoughts?’ in it.

    • Possibly, the theme and gift-filled dates she finds so magical aren’t doing it for her anymore and because they aren’t doing it for her anymore, she’s questioning all the dudes who’ve engaged in her need for said lunatic dates. This would be a teeny mature step forward if she’s actually seeing that what she previously found magical is really just stupid. Welcome to the world the rest of us live in, Donkey.

      OR. She is becoming increasingly grossed out by sex and genitals, possibly even kissing and by extension she’s grossed out by all the dudes who poked her with their peckers.

      The reality is probably that she is simply incapable of placing value in anything or anyone but herself.

      • It’s called being jaded. How many dudes has this chick made a play for, and lost due to her insanity, in the last few years? There have been tons, more than we know, because she actually does keep some of them off her blog/Twitter at their behest. Maybe if she gave it a rest for a couple of years, and grew the fuck up, got some therapy and took her personal life offline, she might actually meet someone who makes her feel something special.

        This is Donkey we’re talking about, however, so no … and now she’s got the whole OMG MY BIOLOGICAL CLOCK OMG thing going, so she’s getting increasingly desperate to seal the deal, not less so. And yet no less insane, so it’ll never happen. Will be fun, and sad, to watch.

        • As someone dealing with bio clock insanity, I can say…if this is just starting for her, and only adds to her overall other insanity…she is in for a long, hard ride.

          But I also doubt she gives a shit about producing another human being except that she is unimaginative and has to live the life everyone else does. It has nothing to do with genuine desire to produce and care for another human. Bitch please!

          • May I trouble you to ask at what age this started for you?
            Nervy that it’s around the corner for me.

          • Yeah, I wanna know, too. I’m 27 and I’m pretty sure this is the beginning because I used to detest children and now I’m all goo-goo when I see them in the elevator or whatever. Ugh..

    • I’ve had a lot of dudefriends who I thought this, or something similar, has happened to. They have had a lot of great girlfriends, and things didn’t work out with them. It seems like every girlfriend they have, they want to take the great parts about her, and merge them into some imaginary supergirlfriend that could never possibly exist, and then get upset when they can’t find this woman. Needless to say, it’s probably a defense mechanism and these guys have issues.

  6. I think I am going to steal that Jabberwocky picture and superimpose the face of every terrible boss I’ve ever had.

  7. OT- the latest hello brit project:

    1) take 2 old mac book cables
    2) cut off plug end
    3) use electric tape

    voila = A JUMP ROPE.

    I’m not even kidding. I’m more and more convinced this is a joke.

    http://www.hellobrit.com/episodes/how-to-repurpose-old-electric-cords-into-a-jump-rope/

    ps: accidentally updated on the last post, but yesterday was the third meet up of Haters in Paris. It was awesome. Going to be a regular thing, woot! If any of you lovelies are in the area do let us know!

    • that’s awesome, a $3300 jump rope that sucks

      When these DIYers make things that cost more than buying a new (good) one at at a store, unless they are making a case for not consuming more or buying goods from China (which she is obviously not since Macs are made by child slaves in China) then STFU……

      • If I’ve learned anything from reading We need to talk about Kevin, it’s that a new jumprope is ten bucks.

      • Wouldn’t the cable be way too lightweight for a jump rope? Is she kidding us? It has to be satire.

        • Right??? She shows us a thousand mangled cables and only uses two. How about untwisting all of those and braiding them to add weight.

          And in the end… it looks way to long for her and it barely works. And the bitch has to let us know, she has a trainer. Suck it, Brit!

          • and she can’t even jump properly!

            [img]http://rgifs.gifbin.com/032011/1299775317_jump-rope-skills.gif[/img]

    • Silly people!
      Britt has created a more creative and artistic jump rope, much better than those boring, stuffy PC ones.

    • I think there’s a huge contempt for the audience in these

      “I will take some crap and make some crap and they will love it”

      • She really has a bitch face in all of them no matter how “friendly” and “sexy eyed” she tries to come off as.

          • LOL!!!! I cannot associate your awesome bitchface with her cunty bitch face but yes, I done rung ya!

          • she gives pretty good bitchface, I agree with you there!

            so far though I think K-Swish’s was the best of these fools. Mary had a distant 2nd best….

    • “The scissors just cut right through.” NOOO. No way. The scissors cut through the cord? Brit, you’re incredible!

    • I can’t wait for Path to finally die, so the Morins don’t have the cash to wildy throw around on utter shite like this.

      • Everyone from Google is in the tank for it. It is annoying me how hypey my Googleer friends are being about it.

    • It just makes me laugh, and laugh, that this bitch quit a real job, married wealthy, and does THIS, thinking it’s her REAL life’s work.

      Seriously. LOL!!!!!!!! She thinks she’s good at this. Hahaha.

  8. These are all amazing…I will have a hard time picking. I am also just having an absolute shitshow of a day from hell…and “Marina yel Bray” is making me smile, which is saying a lot.

    • He’s actually a really funny guy — but if it’s true that he has a girlfriend, I find her wording that “expectations are high” for their hike eye-rolling. Julia, always trying to pretend she’s on the make. Watch out, Bee.

  9. O/t but something is fishy with her facebook. All of a sudden she’s getting a lot of likes on her statuses when she used to get none. And if you look at who’s liking her it all her afghani facebook friends (yes I paged).

    • I noticed too, that all of a sudden, she has 24,000 subscribers to her page. Yeah, something is way off.

    • It seems like she merged her real FB page and her “fan” page. Her real FB page used to be /missjuliaallison and her fan page was /juliaallison. Seemed like she somehow combined the two? Looks sketchy.

      • This is what I think happened too and maybe I’m naive but how can you have “subscribers” that aren’t your friends on a personal page? Maybe it’s not worth analyzing.

        • Only worth analyzing for the fact that she gets some shady FB stuff done for her. Remember when /usernames first came out and when you created yours, FB said you could never EVER change your handle? This is Julia’s third. She’s also had /juliababy and /missjuliaallison. She also converted friend requests to fans when her fan page first went up. Definitely some stuff that no regular user could do.

          • I just read something in FB Settings the other day that, if I remember correctly, allows you to change your personal page to a page that people can “Like”.

          • I also think since Facebook are such sticklers about using your real name Julia should also have to have her real last name on her pages too.

  10. This cracked me up.

    @JuliaAllison
    Julia Allison
    Walk-jog on the beach & canals with @Lillydog, collard greens, spinach & mushrooms for brunch, now late afternoon yoga. I’ve been LA-ified.
    7 Jan via web
    replies ↓

    wendyrama wendyrama
    @
    @JuliaAllison @lillydog No. You’re single.
    7 Jan

  11. once again shitting on things she used to go gaga over. she does have this tendency to denounce everything she can’t understand or appreciate, doesn’t she?

    sorayadarabi: Airport bound. It’s time for my first CES in Las Vegas. Tell me if you plan to go…

    @sorayadarabi – It’s basically a giant Best Buy laid out in convention center form. Not nearly as thrilling as you’d hope, unfortunately.

    • if someone tweeted her back saying “i have an extra ticket” she’d be gaga over it all over it again.

    • god, re-reading julia’s tweet is giving me the brayges. what the hell would our pretty princess find thrilling? not the absolute latest and coolest in cutting edge gadgets, no! she is so pedestrian in her tastes, she probably would prefer a literal best buy to stroll around in. her idea of thrilling is probably having a sex and the city marathon while eating microwaved butternut squash.
      julia allison: a suburban dullard white girl who would rather fake being sick than go to paris, hasn’t read any real literature since high school (or ever?), doesn’t know what star wars or radiohead are, and shits on everything she can’t hack (read: new york, media, journalism, politics, being skinny, sex, home decor, cooking, landing a man, parking, fashion, and pet care).

      • Things Julia finds thrilling: wedding pictures, wedding dresses, wedding planning, married men, engaged men, ivy league schools, money, free shit, unnecessary photo shoots, micro-famous people, prom, male attention, any attention, @tweets, cameras pointed at her, step-and-repeats, opportunities to dress like a slut, pictures of herself, being cat-called, indentured servants, making other girls insecure, her own belly button, her own clever quips, word-of-the-day calendars, misunderstanding irony, quotes from toilet reader books, the idea of herself letting someone use her vibrator on her, herself.

        • Oh Shiap! I thought you would never ask! However, I must ask, in return, what motivational footwear you are proposing? Chocolate is grand, but Manolo’s* are a girl’s best friend!

          *Is that spelled right? I wear Chuck Taylor’s almost exclusively and probably wouldn’t know a Labooting if it hit me in the face…

      • What’s even more enraging is how she used to pretend she loved going, when she was still friends with retards blonde and brunette. When’s she thinks something is relevant = MOST AWESOME THING EVER!!!! When she’s sucked as much publicity out of it as she can possibly manage with little payoff for herself = THAT THING SUCKS ANYWAY. Grow up, dipshit.

        God, she’s such a fucking cunt, and she really has no idea what a cunt she really is.

    • Also something that Mary recently blogged about, and how exciting she was to be going.

      I hate this type of person, by the way. At the time, raves and raves and raves about how awesome everything is and how much she LOVES what she’s doing/who she’s banging/where she’s living, etc etc. Then later bitches and complains about the same time period and says how shitty everything was. How do you trust someone like that? No wonder she has no friends, no man.

  12. LOL LOL LOL LOL… From Donkey’s blergh…

    “I cannot believe it’s almost that time of year again … NEW YORK FASHION WEEK starts in exactly one month! As much as I don’t want to leave my happy Marina del Rey cocoon, I’ll be there again this season, staying with my college girl friend Meghann and covering the action in the tents. I really want to shake it up this year, though … after ten seasons (!!) my coverage is getting stale. Any ideas?? Maybe I need a partner in covering crime …”

    Was her stuff ever shown anywhere except her Vimeo?????

    • my coverage is getting stale.

      This shit just writes itself…

      Stale? When was it fresh?
      Try running those cutlets through the dishwasher once in a while!
      Spackle on another trowel worth if the cement is cracking! More is more!
      That isn’t your coverage, it’s your pussy!

      • you beat me to it!
        this calls for a ‘fresh princess of marina yel bray’ photoshop…

    • Also, “partner in covering crime” = laying the groundwork to bring the infinitely more likable Toilet Julia with her, so people might actually talk to her and so the Stockholm syndrome doesn’t have time to wear off.

    • “As much as I don’t want to leave my happy Marina del Rey cocoon”

      She bitches about “covering” FW every damn year. THEN DON’T GO, DONKEY! No one is begging you to be there and your coverage is shown exactly nowhere. I don’t understand why she keeps going. It must be costing her money because no one is paying for the flights and camera person, right?

    • I wonder who she’s going to bring home and bang at the place she’s crashing at this year?
      Alwyas the considerate house guest, our Burro.

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