What Child Is This?

Here is Julia Allison with 30 pounds of spackle on Christmas morning. And here is a closer look. Notice how scared Granny Moneybags is.

And here is Julia admitting that she is being a lazy asshole the day after Christmas, which is no different than any other day of the year.

Today my big plan is to … go to the Apple store. That’s about it. SET YOUR GOALS HIGH, PEOPLE.

Here is Julia Allison just making shit up to make it seem that she is all hilarious and funny.

OH at the mall here in suburban Chicago, an older gentleman to his wife: “If this is a pottery barn … Where’s all the pottery??” LOL

That must mean that PB Teen is stocked with shit the kids made in art class.

And here is Julia Allison being stupid enough to think that going to the mall the day after Christmas to run an errand (Errands! Ha!) is a smart idea and getting all pissed off about it because, apparently, no one bended to the will of Princess Julia Allison.

This whole “going to the apple store for tech support the day after Christmas” idea perhaps wasn’t one of my best.

I’ve only been at “the mall” for an hour, but I’m already both disillusioned with life, generally, and in need of a nap, specifically.

How much you want to bet she parked in a handicap spot and claimed Lilly [sic] was a Seeing Eye dog?

I hope you remember that Christmas is about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, bunnies! (Oh, and Bailey’s in coffee, or Bailey’s in hot chocolate, or sometimes Bailey’s by itself. Christmas is about creamy alcohol.)

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62 Responses to What Child Is This?

  1. You seem disproportionately angry! says:

    … first?

    • You seem disproportionately angry! says:


      That photo with Allie is scary. How much do you want to bet she faked the laugh just for the “authentic” look of happiness captured on film for her blaugh?

    • CDB says:

      Keeping it classy!

  2. juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

    I can see her Adam’s apple.

  3. Pv says:

    How is granny so tan? Why does my granny not get the cancun bronzer and body powder duster set?

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Granny is my favorite. I love old women who just go full-out Orange Glo and wear big funky jewelry. I used to be mad at her for not speaking to Momsers for years but now I think I am on Team Granny in that conflict.

      Seriously, she deserves a better granddaughter than A Donkey. At least she has Allie now—look at their cute handholding, whereas Donkerina just has back-of-the-chair privileges. GUESS WHO’S GETTING THE DIAMONDS IN THE WILL, DONKEY?

      • Ex Spurt says:

        Oh look, it’s Julia, Julia in 12 months time and someone normal.

        Bang on with the hand-holding, Albie, it speaks volumes. Missed it first time viewing.

      • OMGPearskank says:

        I’m imagining that Granny’s right ear is her bad ear and that she sat to Julia’s left so that she doesn’t have to bear the full bray.

        Also, who’s wtf-face to Julia’s right? I bet he’s developed a nice tinnitus by the end of the event.

      • DirtyLakeMichigan says:

        Allie is adorable. Put Allie and JAB directly next to each other and wow! So obvious one these things is plastic and the other is au-natural.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          Allie is adorable, & so is GrannyMoneyBag$, in her own wizened little apple sort of way, but who the effen eff keeps snapping these fauxtos that Donkey puts online, subjecting them all to ridicule?


          • Jack the Bravo Bulldog says:

            Team Granny? What with her probable rants against “multiculturalism,” a sense of entitlement inherited by you know who, and funding a donkey’s peripathetic wanderings? No thanks. Moneybags is just another enabler and possibly the worst childhood influence on Julie B.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            I’d have to see actual racist rants before hating on her for being racist — that article title made me wonder if she wasn’t commenting on the overuse of political correctness by society today.

            Why credit GMB’$ w/ Donkey’s sense of entitlement? It’s not due to encoded genetic DNA, after all, & Mom$er & Dad$er are the real culprits for allowing it to fester out of control.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Team Granny in the Robin v. Granny battle. You know Robin is every bit as racist, only in that incredibly annoying supercilious “I don’t see color” way.

            Obviously like all sane people, I am Team Allie, but I think of her as a planet of sanity pulling the moon of Britt into her orbit instead of the Baugher Inanity Nebula, rather than one of the core Baughers.

          • Jack the Bravo Bulldog says:

            Brayella, you’re really cutting Granny a lot of slack here. Where do you think Petey’s name dropping and phoniness originated? And I love that photo of the whitest woman in Wilmette standing in front of the portrait of herself a la Elizabeth Collins Stoddard. No, my friend, I’m guessing that sense of entitlement was most encouraged by the old (Money) Bag.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Afghani, is that you?

          • Jack the Bravo Bulldog says:

            Ouch! I am sort of taking on that superior air here, aren’t I? My apologies.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            LOL, no apologies necessary.

  4. Julia's Too Small Tutu says:

    On Christmas Day I had family over and between the two Dobermans and one hyperactive two year old, the last thing on my mind was putting on a face full of spackle.

    • JFA says:

      I almost admire her ability to find the time and the effort involved in applying false eyelashes before Christmas dinner, given her complete and total laziness in all other aspects of her life.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Before you give her too much credit, she’s probably been wearing the same spider tutus on her eyes since the last Bravo shoot.

        • Mini Driver, Intergalactic Bully says:

          SPIDER TUTUS! Dying.

        • JFA says:

          Yeah knowing her she has those temporary lash extensions. Because all this bitch needs is ANOTHER excuse to waste money on completely unnecessary beauty rituals. God forbid any inch of her body is authentic.

          But seriously who spackles it on FOR A FAMILY DINNER? Oh, right, someone who uses any and every event as an excuse to post photos of herself.

  5. Dr. Gary says:

    Julie has *literally* turned into Janice the Muppet.

    • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

      You forgot “but fat.”

    • OMGPearskank says:

      She totally has. And the saddest thing is that this is the only thing she actually has worked really hard to achieve – seeing how much she hates doing ANYTHING besides googling herself, it must have been an epic struggle for her to drag herself into Dr. Bobby’s and other quacks’s shady back-room surgeries.

      Alternatively she’s living proof that the transformation from human to muppet I’ve been dreaming off dreamed off as a child, is possible, but a lot more freakish and scary than I imagined and thus nothing to aspire to…

      • Donkeycam now! says:

        She is half donkey, half Muppet, half inflatable doll.

        Yes, I know.

        The extra half is to account for the overgrown cankles.

  6. Pancaked Out says:

    Looks like Grandma Moneybags is a real charmer: http://history.wilmettelibrary.info/results?fsu=Political+issues

    “Multiculturalists thwart free speech, letter Marilyn Baugher.”

    Damn those brown people! They’re always threatening the free speech of rich, white Republicans like Granny Baugher.

    • OMGPearskank says:

      Have you actually been able to read what the letter says? All I get is the link to a public library record and that alone does not prove raging racism. I even tried to blow up the image of the “Wilmette Life” (and now I want to read it so bad, I have a soft spot for local rags), but no dice.
      Not to defend Nutty Granny Moneybags (what happened to the catladay with that name by the way?!), but judging

    • OMGPearskank says:

      – premature post, my bad –
      …judging by the title alone, it could be part of the discussion of political correctness, which in itself does not need to be racistly motivated.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Remember that being Team Granny is Team Least of a Bunch of Evils. Robin and Petey the Pettifogger are probably equally racist in that creepy suburbanite way.

      Robin probably always talks about Meghan Asha as “That nice Indian friend of Julia’s” for example, instead of “that nice friend who lives in New York” or “that nice friend who makes hideous leather scarves” or whatever. Pettifogger, I’m sure, is fond of bloviating about how he’ll give anyone a chance as long as they’re smart and work hard, he doesn’t care if they’re black or white or purple or green with polka-dots. PETER BAUGHER, CHAMPION OF PURPLEKIND.

      Also, Robin loves to write whiny entitled letters to the paper too, so she doesn’t get any points in the Robin v. Granny battle for Granny’s lapse(s) in that respect.

    • Effervescent Suppositories says:

      I want to be racist but the multiculturalists won’t let me! wah!

  7. Pancaked Out says:

    I keep trying to post about Granny Moneybags’ racism, but nothing is coming through?

  8. KashMoney says:

    Julia literally looks more Asian than Ally does now.

    I’m hoping Donk puts in buck teeth and pulls a rickshaw when Chinese New Year’s rolls around. Given her 9/11 celebrating, I wouldn’t put it past her.

  9. Donkeycam now! says:

    “Creamy alcohol?”

    My fav is egg-nog spiked with Baccardi and a sprinkle of cinammon on top.

    Just sayin’….

  10. ??? says:

    OT: Mary’s cite/site/sight seems to have gone through some changes.

  11. I Was Inside says:

    has anyone been able to visit NS? it’s been down for like a week from my end. even JAB personal stall only has the framework and no entries

  12. Stripper Shoes at Burning Man says:


    1. Is Allie Asian or part-Asian?
    2. Why did xoJulia post the beginning of a Hebrew blessing on her twitter feed? “Baruch ata adonai, eloheinu melech ah-olahm”??
    3. Why are stupid boys sending her Happy Hanukah greetings from malls in Boca Raton?
    4. Why do stupid boys shout out to her and flatter her? Are they blind? Stupid and blind? Deaf dumb and blind?

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      RE: #3 — They’re awaiting her shoe size in response?

    • Helena (Simultaneously Equal Parts) says:

      I believe that according to ancient legends, Allie is half Filipino half girl.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      One of Julia’s grandparents was Jewish. I forget which one (Robin’s dad?) but Professor F. Camping is sure to remember.

      She likes to play both ends against the middle on that.

  13. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    OT: Came across a Dx (Ajulia?) which fits Donkey to a “T”

    Abulia (from the Greek “αβουλία”, meaning “un-will”), in neurology, refers to a lack of will or initiative & is one of the Disorders of Diminished Motivation or DDM. Abulia falls in the middle of the spectrum of diminished motivation, w/ apathy being less extreme & akinetic mutism being more extreme than Abulia. A patient with Abulia is unable to act or make decisions independently. It may range in severity from subtle to overwhelming.

    • Armchair says:

      A friend who is kind and sweet, but slow, had childhood meningitis. She cuts hair for a living and she is good at it. Her left eye droops, and her speech is draggy.

  14. Julie's Facial Hair says:

    Shopping is a hassle the day after xmas? I’m SHOCKED! Next she’ll figure out that on black friday stores tend to be a bit crowded.

  15. eyegloss says:

    Filled with glee when I saw that second photo. I love Xmas eye gloss! Xmas lash glue! Xmas brow pencils! Xmas foundation primer!

  16. Unhinged says:

    JP, I see your Bailey’s and raise you a Coquito.

  17. Sacred Scrapbooks says:

    She looks like Alfred E. Newman’s sister in the top pic.

  18. Hoolia Tiene Una BocaGRANDE says:

    I just looked at this photo on my home compooper and what is up w/ her eye? My right when looking at the screen. It’s swole, droopy and wonky. Now, if it was some genetic impediment, that’s one thing, but she’s done something to herself. Worse, she paid someone else to jack her face up. Is she happy? Can she be happy? Will she ever get help????

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