How “Real” Is Julia Allison’s New Bravo Reality Show, Miss Advised?

Let’s get the answer out of the way: not at all. Should this shit show ever make it to Bravo airwaves, I suggest you play a little game. Compare how the situations currently documented here are portrayed on screen. Spot a blatant fabrication, then take a drink. We can have an RBD meet-up in the emergency room as we are all treated for alcohol poisoning.

It’s obvious that Julia is reaching out to former “ex-boyfriends” for the sake of the cameras. We’ve had a two hour phone conversation with Prom King, which I’m sure was just as pleasant as ripping off your dick. She reached out to Tofu Eggs (TM mcakez) on Facebook, and the fact that he seemingly ignored her creepy wall post was simply lovely. Hipster Lawyer has apparently been approached. She’s been especially chummy with Greasy lately, who, let me remind you, used to think of her as a pump-and-dump, but now thinks of her more as a point-and-laugh. Oh, and we have Alex, the married dude, who Julia dated knowing full well that he was married, to a lady, with children, and whose home Julia refused to vacate for a full year after they broke up. Yeah, he was super fun! And, of course, Julia and Pancakes have rekindled their epic love affair, if by “rekindled” you mean Pancakes saying, “Fuck off and die,” in the nicest way possible so as not to disturb the braying hosebeast.

Which brings me to my next question: Is Ashley Tisdale’s production company Blondie Girl Productions and its producing partner Relativity Media potentially exploiting the mentally ill for the sake of entertainment?

Recent revelations have made it undeniable that Julia Allison is off her rocker. She hunted down Pancake’s undisclosed number, called him and tried to ingratiate herself back into his life, all while not so tacitly suggesting that it was FlapJacks himself who was looking to rekindle his relationship with the woman who was essentially nothing more than a squatting, sinister banshee of a houseguest. Given the realities of their relationship and the public proclamations that Julia has made about how Guam was an insurmountable obstacle, about how they shared a home, about how they were still close friends, and about how Jack seemingly wanted to spill his pancake batter all over her once again, it’s just that, well, WHO DOES THAT? Julia is so untethered from reality that it’s undeniable that there is some sort of mental illness going on there. Julia’s recent behavior is some sociopathic shit. The things we have learned the past few days are less “Funny-ha-ha, she’s fat” and more “Maybe we should check for any sharp objects near Julia’s vicinity.”

And something tells me that the producers of Miss Advised are aware of it and are LOVING it.

One thing that struck me about this internationally syndicated phone call is that, according to numerous tipsters, our poor, victimized Navy helicopter pilot has absolutely no idea how Julia got a hold of his brand new phone number in the first place. People close to Pancakes know full well what he thinks of her, so I doubt any would oblige her incessant, braying pleas for the digits. Then I had a thought: Julia is motivated as all get out, but now she has a team of producers that are equally motivated for manufactured drama. Pure conjecture here, but is it out of the realm of possibility that “Miss Advised” producers hunted down Pancake’s phone number and gave it to Julia for the sake of the reality show?

Reality show producers are adept at doing deep background checks and finding hidden personal information. And let’s not kid ourselves here, “Miss Advised” producers are fully aware of how nutso Julia Allison is. Just look at her blog, or this one for that matter, because you know they are aware it exists. Maybe it’s just me, but I think it is perfectly reasonable to assume that Julia’s reaching out to that dude that keeps the helos in the air would end up being reality show gold, a perfect opportunity to show how desperate and psycho Julia is. It’s also perfectly reasonable to assume that the producers would do what they could to let that narrative unfold.

Maybe I’m grasping at straws here, but I just can’t stop wondering how Julia got Jack’s number in the first place.  If her producers helped her get it, then it makes this current situation not just psychotic, but also gross.

And that makes for a sad pancake.

A sad pancake who should be calling “Jack McCain’s Lawyer” to look into getting a restraining order.

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253 Responses to How “Real” Is Julia Allison’s New Bravo Reality Show, Miss Advised?

  1. moonshineDONKEY says:

    Be first, I shall!

  2. moonshineDONKEY says:

    This is a solid theory.

    I should know.

    I am a prodoucher.

  3. Dr. Fraud, MD says:

    The full-blown decomposition of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Perhaps the production company should shop this to “Dr. G: Medical Examiner.”

  4. blahblahblerg says:

    Bravo, JP! (heh!) The sad pancake sent this over the top for me.

  5. Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

    That photo really puts the lie to her fauxto shoots, doesn’t it? Honey. You need to change your diaper.

    The other thing about this “reality” show — she has no job. How are they going to spin it to portray her as a relationship expert/columnist? I mean surely they see, now that the cameras are rolling, that she has no job.

    And maybe I am naive, but would the producers truly be OK with her threatening to make people look bad on the Bravo show? I mean doesn’t that place them in a liability situation if someone were to, say, talk to their lawyers or a powerful senator, say, was planning to make a little phone call to a high-powered Bravo executive?

    • KashMoney says:

      i really don’t agree with the above theory. they definitely don’t like airing phone calls, which is why sooooo many of these Housewife-type shows have them having needless “meetings” when they could simply call one another. they also don’t like working with people who don’t know their role and won’t play ball. pancakes hasn’t signed up for any of this. remember, JAB was ticked that no one was signing releases.

      they’re into “manufactured” drama in the sense of having a casting call and a bunch of dudes at an event for the girls to meet. they’re not into “manufactured” drama where things can get meta and break the 4th wall, like getting the McCains involved.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        That’s what I think. I think she’s doing this all on her own time, and got his number on her own, and is now probably freaking the fuck out that they’re reading this and knowing what she’s done. Her Twitter/blog have been pretty quiet in the last 24 hours. I can’t see her FB page, however.

        I am also pretty sure that she calls/messages him constantly on his cell and has for months, but he ignores her. This was just yet another attempt to contact him. But this was coming from a new number, I guess her new L.A. number, and showing up on his new number. He had no way of knowing it was her and has no idea how she got the number. Maybe it’s listed?

        • Worrisome Pelts says:

          I can totally see her calling the base and getting in touch with his unit’s office drone with a sob/horror story about how she needs his number immediately. She may have told one of his buddies she was his sister or something. Lying Donkeys have no compunction about lying to get what they want.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Another funny thing — notice how she trots out Greasy at times like these? You know she must have phoned him relentlessly in the last couple of days to sob about the mess she’s got herself into now. I don’t know why he indulges her, but if I were Pancakes, I’d enlist Greasy to get the Donkey to stand down.

            Also — wouldn’t it be exhausting to go from one self-made drama to the next, over and over again? Wouldn’t the sheer fatigue and stress of being a lunatic make you want to stop being a lunatic? No, instead she’ll go to Burning Man or an ashram, claim to be a new person, and then within a week be doing the same shit as always.

          • Who do you think you are? says:

            Wrong on one count: she probably made Lasagna or an “intern” do it.

          • Who do you think you are? says:

            Speaking of whom, LASAGNA, EARTH TO LASAGNA: you probably have no influence over Donkey’s behavior but you do have the power to cut her off. If you’re still involved, shame on you. The best thing you could do is reach out to her parents and, as a longtime friend, express worry.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Lasagna does seem aware of her mentalness. Remember the Tweet about her being a “special” person who needs a special amount of love? And there was also an exchange in which Donkey was wondering why James Fey’s fiancee wanted him to have nothing to do with her because after all, she’s a supermodel, why should she worry about Julia? And Lasagna responded along the lines of: I wouldn’t want you talking to my boyfriend either if you were his ex.

          • I Was Inside says:

            @Jacy–she doesn’t perceive herself as being a lunatic and the fact that she is “starring in her own tv show” (as she no doubt perceives it) “proves” that her strategy IS working.

            what I would be money is happening is that Bravo asked her to round up some ex’s to interview for a “why do you think ____ is single” piece, something Amy and Emily probably pulled off easily but Julia can’t. and she is panicking about it. (Pancaking about it?)

          • ShesJustStupid says:

            Jacy, that was Asha on both counts (“special” and the comment about Fey’s fianace I’m pretty sure), not Lasagna.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Are you sure? I could have sworn it was Lasagna both times, especially that Tweet. Prof. Fcamping will know for sure.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Alagna Tweet from March 2010 — right around the Prom King dumping:

            meganalagna Megan Alagna
            She’s a special individual. And she needs a special amount of love.
            22 Mar 10

          • AFGHANI the INEVITABLE says:

            Lasagna said the thing about “special girl with special needs”. Asha said the thing about “I wouldn’t want you talking to my bf either”.

            Lasagna’s was a tweet. Meg o Lantern’s was on video, I’m pretty sure it was on TMI.

          • LEFOOLIEH says:

            Lasagna probably chose her words carefully with that response re: JF’s fiancee, but in DDM (donkey delusional mind) it would translate to: “It’s just that you’re just so beautiful, charming, intelligent, spontaneous, quirky, wonderful, amazing, sexily curvy (skinny is overrated!!), a femme fatale, a maneater, able to take away ALL THE BOYS from ALL THE GIRLS! I can’t trust my man around you!”
            What Lasagna said translated to donkey’s views on Zooey Deschanel, pretty much.

            What she meant was: “you would probably never let us have a second of peace, what with your psychotic, overly possessive nature and desperate need to constantly interject yourself in our lives, thereby straining the natural flow of our relationship”

          • LEFOOLIEH says:

            Correcting to say, replace Lasagna with Asha, the “donkey translation” still stands.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Afghani: That may have been something separate. I am recalling one of those oh-so-witty conversations she posts, this one about James Fey and why his GF was threatened by her. And I swear it was Lasagna, and her reply was basically why should she trust you?

          • AFGHANI the INEVITABLE says:

            OK, Jacy, I’m recalling something more general that was on TMI, not something specific to JF. I don’t think the TMI topic was really about JF, it was a general discussion about keeping in touch with exes and “maintaining friendships” or somesuch.

            I recall some kind of Lasagna comment about “why would she trust you?” so I think you’re right about that. Was probably re: Fey.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            You never let me down. And neither, apparently, does my memory!

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          (Hat tip to I Was Inside)

          PANICAKING: (pæn ɪ kayking) Verb.

          Symptomatic of Braychitis (& Breakupitis):
          [1] A donkey is seen pawing her hooves on the ground & braying in an unhinged-jaw-like manner
          [2] Donkey’s own teeth marks may be found on her own raft ass, a known result of being caught in busted-face lies.

          A rare disease of which there is only one donkumental case recorded in the contiguous United States, but an outbreak on the island of Guam can not be ruled out, & all precautions should be taken.

      • moonshineDONKEY says:

        I think it’s possible insofar as the producers are aware of what she is doing but since they are not “directing” her action, they are absolved of her actions.

  6. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    Considering not only who he is but that he’s ensconced in a military environment during wartime, Bravo would be going out on a serious limb to put FlapJack’s new # in Donkey’s hooves & then film / record their conversation unknowing to FlapJack. Anything for ratings is possible, but for a show w/ no audience as of yet & for a busted raftass of a nobody such as Julia Allison, I’m hesitant to think that they’d go this far, this early in the game.

    What I *do* think is highly probable is that Donkey herself would pay through every version of her assorted noses to procure contact info on any of her exes, & [a] it’s this kind of ‘Where the Bodies are Buried’ info that Lasagna knows & will one day use against Donkey when she, Lasagna, goes postal ravioli on La Donk, & [b] how do the PI bills show up on Dad$er’s credit card bills?

    One last thing: Once I’d changed an already-unlisted home # when I got tired of a guy not taking the hint(s) & damned if he didn’t reach me on my new, unlisted ph# anyway. Why? Because the effen ph co who was only too happy to charge me for unlisted #’s was also stupid enough to implement a recording of my new # when the old # was called (their explanation being that they assumed only people I wanted to have the old # had it & that I probably wanted them to have the new # too). Stupid dipfucking shits. The tipsters reading along should try his old # just for grins.

    • Dyspeptic says:

      The image of Lasagna going “postal ravioli” on Donks is choice, Brayella. Tip o’ the tutu to ya.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Heh. I just had a funny thought: FlapJack should get a buddy to record him calling the ph co demanding a new, unlisted # because he is being stalked stateside by Donkey Albertson. It would be some great arsenal to have & hold over her ginormous head w/ the promise of going public w/ it, should she not cease & desist braying at him & about him.

    • AFGHANI the INEVITABLE says:

      A+ for use of “ensconced”

    • bitchface says:

      OR, they could be stirring up drama with no intention of actually using it, to try and generate publicity. Such as leaking news that Julia’s (Father) lawyer and McCain’s family lawyers were going at it behind the scenes about their short-lived relationship and whether it can be mentioned on air, without ever intending to actually put it on the show. But drama (real or manufactured) about what goes on in production behind the scenes is an old ploy.

      • AFGHANI the INEVITABLE says:

        There’s also the simple possibility that Bravo is telling Julia to try to manufacture something–anything–to use for the show. They know that just the process of her doing that could make her a little nutso, which is more interesting than her sitting around her (no doubt boring) apartment. If the show is taping, they tape a couple of days a week for pretty much the whole day. That is a LOT of time to fill. It would seem like a lot of pressure. Reality shows don’t seem to get full-fledged writing staffs and budgets to have elaborate events until season 2, so there’s probably some responsibility/pressure for Julia to create something they can use for the show.

        • bitchface says:

          she was “writing an article” (wtf for?)

          • AFGHANI the INEVITABLE says:

            Bravo/BlondieGirl can probably help her place her “freelance writing” into some fluff mag? Or free weekly in the LA area? Just something to create material for the show and give some veneer of legitimacy?

          • bitchface says:

            sure, probably, maybe, who the fuck knows?

            she’s not a blogger. She’s not a columnist. She’s….. nada!

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Bravo isn’t making this show. Blondie Girl and Real Relativity are.

          Bravo may be doing some publicity for it, because they want people to watch it, and they may be getting reports from Blondie Girl and Real Relativity, but they aren’t the ones making the day to day production decisions.

          • AFGHANI the INEVITABLE says:

            OK, that makes sense. Is this any different than most reality shows? Do most have separate production companies? I had always thought that the production company might be separate as a matter of law, but in reality they work closely with networks?

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Some reality shows are produced by network production units, yeah.

            It’s not a shell thing: the production companies really are totally separate entities. The networks commission and pay them to produce a certain number of episodes, which the network can either choose to air or not, and the network can be as involved or uninvolved in publicizing the upcoming show as it chooses.

          • The Tortuous and the Hair says:

            In my experience working on 2 Bravo reality shows, we had our own off-site production offices, under the name of the production company. We ran the show out of that office: producers, camera dept., art dept., locations, editing, product placement, motion graphics, etc. Bravo provided funding for the show and paid for advertising (eg. they put up a billboard for our show in Times Sq).

            Now and then a Bravo producer would turn up on a shooting day, but I can’t remember them ever attending the weekly production meetings where we determined the story & game plan for the upcoming ep. They were sent a rough cut of each episode for feedback, but didn’t get involved in the day to day production at all.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Thanks, Tortuous! This is the serviciest place on the Internettubes.

        • solidarity cat says:

          Ahem. Excuse moi. She is an Internet EnthusiASSt.

  7. Dyspeptic says:

    “Internationally syndicated phone call” had me spewing coffee. I think you owe me a new MacBook Air, JP.

  8. Worrisome Pelts says:

    OT, but related: I’ve always had a horrible mental image of Donkey being introduced to Jack’s sister Bridget and hollering at her real slow in her best Ugly American manner. I know Bridget was raised here, but the Browns are one homogenous and yet “foreign” mass to Our Donkey.

    • One Fat Melman says:

      So funny how she brayed all about Yimmy and the ineffable Megatits, and yet obviously never met Bridget, because she would have brayed the shit out of ANY McCain meet-up, right? Oh wait, the brown….it doesn’t count. There’s no way she went to the “winging” and other various events with the fam and failed to meet the youngest McCain. What. A. Bitch.

  9. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    I just looked at my GR feed, old news but this is to laugh:

    JuliaAllison: Sleeping with my window open tonight, I can hear the waves crashing. THE WAVES IN THE PACIFIC OCEAN. Please God don’t make me leave here! (Nov 29, 2011 (2 days ago)

    JuliaAllison: Regretting my decision to stay up until 5 am writing last night. As it’s two hours later & I’m in no mood to be awake. Let alone coherent.
    (Nov 29, 2011 (2 days ago)

    Why lie about ‘sleeping’ & why lie about ‘writing’, Donkey? It’s not like your fans we don’t know that you stay up all night every night googling yourself & reading RBD.

    • LEFOOLIEH says:

      Re: Sleeping, she wanted to paint some weird picture of calm, serenity, peace.
      Re: Writing, it’s so important to her that she’s willing to burn the midnight oil! By saying she’s an a bad mood and incoherent, she’s preemptively creating reasons for the poor quality of the finished product.

      But that article is done, so how do we explain the most recent 3AM tweet?
      ” A stunningly well-written, thoughtful & thorough piece from @TheAtlantic: “The Glory of Oprah” http://t.co/L2vbVuj5 (via @JustineMusk)”

      1. The Atlantic… sooooo intellectual, y’all!
      2. The length of that article and the apparent limits of donkey attention span lead me to believe she just pulled together some positive adjectives that might imply she actually read the whole thing. Problem is that if you know a donkey, it was just an excuse to invoke The Atlantic, Oprah and Justine in one fell swoop.
      3. Oprah don’t wanchu #yourownshowfail #draconian #blacklisted
      4. Justine don’t wanchu #noreleasesigningthere
      5. DONKEY.

      • JFA - NO ONE CARES says:

        Ugh “Stunningly well written.” Jackass. If it’s well written it’s well written. Not sure something can even be “STUNNINGLY” well written. Her writing is like fucking nails on a chalkboard.

        • Donksers says:

          She uses it to describe everything/everybody because she thinks it’s a big word.

          • JFA - NO ONE CARES says:

            Oh I know! That’s pretty much why she uses about 20% of her vocabulary, often incorrectly. WTF is “Stunningly well-written?” I can’t!!!!! So overly effusive constantly, and it makes her sound like a tremendous jackass.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Oh see, I assumed that her disgruntled ‘awakeness bitching’ was to offset her upcoming bad delivery on-camera later that same day.

      • Delurked says:

        “thorough”? WTF? what, needed another “th-” adjective for alliteration purposes? wanker.

  10. "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

    “Also — wouldn’t it be exhausting to go from one self-made drama to the next, over and over again? Wouldn’t the sheer fatigue and stress of being a lunatic make you want to stop being a lunatic?”

    Some people scoffed when I called this donkey out as a sociopath YEARS ago. But the fact is that the life of a sociopath IS exhausting, which can be part of their downfall. And because of their hyper-focus on themselves, they are acutely aware of every ache, pain and twinge, often resorting to quacks and drugs to help ease the hurt of being so self-focused.

    Sociopaths very often die horrible deaths because of the horrific things they do to other people. When they die, they are usually completely alone or they die violently, by murder (in an extreme case like Mussolini) or suicide. It’s extremely rare for a sociopath to die surrounded by friends, family, or anyone else who cares about her. This is simply a sociopath reaping what she sows. (Martha Stout’s “The Sociopath Next Door” is an excellent book I cannot recommend highly enough.)

    • bitchface says:

      they are exhausting being around, so I can imagine it’s exhausting to be them – their mind must be constantly reeling, plotting, ticking mental checklists off, cataloging, etc. I wonder whether the louder ones (Julia Allison Baugher) or the quiet ones (serial killers who bury the bodies under the house) are more frightening? Julia is like a tsunami that destroys all in the wake. A tsunami with tits.

      hehe, you compared Julia to Mussolini.

    • JFA - NO ONE CARES says:

      I definitely want to read that book. I’ve been fascinated by the topic since a “stunningly well written” piece in the New Yorker about sociopaths, maybe two or so years ago? And yeah I’ve thought she was a sociopath for a long while now. I really have no doubt in my mind.

      • JFA - NO ONE CARES says:

        Ooh, here’s the article! I remember it being a good one.

        http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/11/10/081110fa_fact_seabrook

        • stalker is the new fat says:

          Paydirt:

          The interviewer “scores” the subject on each of the twenty items—parasitic life style, pathological lying, conning, proneness to boredom, shallow emotions, lack of empathy, poor impulse control, promiscuity, irresponsibility, record of juvenile delinquency, and criminal versatility, among other tendencies—with zero, one, or two, depending on how pronounced that trait is.

    • bitchface says:

      BTW, did you try to quit RBD? I C U

    • blahblahblerg says:

      I read it based on your recommendation on RBD. Excellent.

    • chesca says:

      i started listening to “The sociopath next door” at work because of this comment. omg it’s sooo good

  11. Bravo's Bitch says:

    This show must air. My life during the holidays is revolving around my huscat and his hypochondria(upset tummy = peptic ulcer) nonsense and his decrepit mother up from Palm Beach to wait out surgery at Clevelend Clinic next week. Kill me now. Sorry for the run ons but this shit BETTARRR BE SHOWN. I watch every loser Bravo shit show and love them. Even the lisping stupid British nanny show. OK. I am done. And day drunk. Yeah.

    • AFGHANI the INEVITABLE says:

      This won’t air until at least next Spring. Just my opinion, but it seems like something Bravo might try in a “dead zone” in their schedule in late spring/summer. And that’s if it makes it to air at all. Bravo has a lot of popular shows now. Does anyone know when the NJ and NY Housewives shows are coming back? Or the Jeff Lewis show (Flipping Out)? Because I can’t see Miss Advised having any chance of running when those shows are in season.

      • Bravo's Bitch says:

        It will probably be a filler show like the Jo and Slade (Slade Smiley real name) or the Miami whatever it was called show. Damn I is so day drink already.

        • AFGHANI the INEVITABLE says:

          Miami Social was sooooo bad.

          The closest analogy to this Julia show would probably be something like One Ocean View, which was a reality show that Julia’s “sister” (LOL) MareMareBeachHair was in, circa 2006. That show lasted all of 2 episodes, just long enough for MMBH to jump in bed with a guy.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        They announced it for Spring 2012.

        • AFGHANI the INEVITABLE says:

          That makes sense, but it seems like this would run in late Spring, after the popular series are finished. I can’t imagine Miss Advised running alongside NJ Housewives, for example.

          • Bravo's Bitch says:

            OMG Tre doing a table flip on Donk. To die.

          • AFGHANI the INEVITABLE says:

            “prostitution whore”

          • Bravo's Bitch says:

            Damn I miss Danielle and her elf con bf. Now obsessed with RHBH until huscat watched and said that I am like KIM!! She is day drink every day, I skip a day here and there(not today)

          • AFGHANI the INEVITABLE says:

            her “elf bf” Danny was a lot worse than a con, I’m pretty sure he had just gotten out of the federal pen, where he’d been for the better part of a decade. That guy had definitely made some mob hits in the past. Julia could never attract that kind of “talent” to sign a release and appear with her.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            That guy had definitely made some mob hits in the past.M

            Who did Danny take out, Afghani?

  12. Albie Quirky says:

    Yes, the producers are taking advantage of JABberbabbles’s mental illness. This is why my reality-tv-producer friend doesn’t like the “Dunning-Kruger Ambush Theatre” style of show; he thinks it’s cruel.

    Honestly, if it were practically anyone else on Earth, I would agree, but A Donkey is such a horrible, vindictive, cruel person herself that to me it just feels like reaping what she’s sowed.

    My kindest wish for her at this point is that this will be a wake-up call even she can’t ignore, and maybe she will at last seek the professional help she so desperately needs.

    • bitchface says:

      I just wish she would get omg married and go away. But she never, ever will. We will be stuck with Julia Allison until time immemorial.

      We’ll be right here with you, Jules. RBD will never, ever go away either so long as you don’t. ;)

      • Dr. Fraud, MD says:

        I don’t think you have to worry about her going away. Ever. I suspect if she got someone to put a ring on it, the cray would escalate like nothing we’ve seen before. And, OMG, if she ever manages to get a bun in the ole oven…there may not be enough bandwidth in the
        Enterwebz universe to contain the spew.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      I think that the more momentum this show gains, the bigger the breakdown for Donkey in the aftermath. I’ve said this before: I sort of envision a documentary-type rundown of Donkey’s life being done & at the end, when credits are rolling, her self-made lipdub of “Don’t Stop Believin’ ” playing pretty much sums up her M.O. for all of this. And it’s incredibly sad. And only then does she gain the cult following she always wanted, but of course by then, it’s too late.

  13. LetItExplode says:

    Eh, I don’t know. Let’s not forget that Pancakes was dumb enough to fuck a donkey more than once. Something tells me he is dumb enough not to properly screen her calls. He may be a victim in all this but for fuck’s sake, Jack… Get it together.

  14. Julia Gollum says:

    Hulia can contact all her little exisis, hyess? And she will gets famouses at the same time?! And the PRECIOUS will be OURSSSSSS!!!!! HYISSSSSS!!!!

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

      It has taken all day, but now I’m reasonably reconciled to the idea that no one else finds the Julia as Gollum idea as irresistibly funny as I do. No guarantees that I won’t be calling all of you dour bitches on your new lines in Guam, however.

      • solidarity cat says:

        Oh, I enjoyed it.

        [img]http://www.lolcats.com/images/u/07/36/lolcatsdotcom8bpgawu7gsoyn59t.jpg[/img]

  15. Records Custodian says:

    I’ll stand alone and say that I don’t think Bravo has much if anything to do with this show, and I don’t think it will ever see the light of day. I think Bravo threw some money at Ashley Tisdale, hoping to establish a long-term relationship with her and her production company. They picked up a pitch to pilot as a show of good faith, but this project isn’t the one they care about.

    I also think Julia exaggerates and overstates anything she can about herself, and that includes this opportunity.

    That said, I don’t buy the entirety of Pancake’s defense. I think there is a little from column A and column B on that one, with most of the credibility coming from Jack’s column. I don’t think it was a super secret phone number, either. Jack, like his nutbar father, gets off on the crazy attention whores, and after a breakup, you do stupid shit.

    • Worrisome Pelts is a total Alpha says:

      This dovetails so well with what my reality show producer OMGCOLLEGEFRIEND said about it, that if you weren’t RC I would assume she was on here weighing in. Tisdale is the prize, Donkey is the snail turds Bravo have to swallow to get her.

      • Worrisome Pelts is a total Alpha says:

        Punctuation fail.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        Nobody at Bravo cares one way or another about Julia Allison. As far as they’re concerned, this show is about three crazy ladies making fools of themselves on TV, and they bought it because it was produced by Relativity Real who have a strong track record, and Blondie Girl which, as you say, is their hope of breaking into the youth market because Ashley Tisdale.

        They don’t think about Julia Allison or Emily Morse or Amy Whatserbucket at all, beyond “well, I hope the producers find a way to make those annoying forty-somethings into good television.”

        Of course, this is the thing that Julia Allison is so frantically spinning her donkey-ass ass off to make people ignore.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      I’ll stand alone and say that I don’t think Bravo has much if anything to do with this show

      I don’t think that’s “standing alone”—several catpeople have been pointing out that JABberbutt’s blather about her “Bravo” show and “Bravo” doing this and that is just her usual spinlying, because she thinks it makes her look more important than referring to the actual production companies.

      Nor would it be unusual or show a lack of confidence in the show for Bravo not to get involved. That’s pretty much business as usual for reality shows in their first season, and as Tortuous and the Hair says upthread, that’s also how Bravo in particular rolls.

      Bravo announced they were airing the show in Spring 2012. That may or may not happen. You may certainly be right that they picked it up because they wanted to build a relationship with Tisdale’s company—they are certainly eager to work with folks who have buzz with younger audiences—but I don’t think that they’d just burn money and broadcast slots to do that, so they probably think somebody wants to watch this festival of trainwrecks.

    • dd says:

      YESYESYES. I agree. I sad something similar to this in another thread yesterday. Palin and Julia are basically the same person and both McCain boys got involved willingly.

  16. Who do you think you are? says:

    Even assuming the production company had no hand in obtaining Jack’s number and has no suspicion of mental illness, let’s think about what they have to work with, namely a woman who lacks:
    -writing talent
    -a work ethic and a job
    -intellect and good sense
    -taste in clothes and decor
    -contacts, thanks to burned bridges and generally annoying/offensive personality traits
    -a sense of humor about herself

    How could they have any choice but to mock her? I’m not saying that I excuse them, but there’s only so much that even a production team could do to prop a Donkey up. And, that last bit about the sense of humor is what will forever separate Donkey from the dumb, tacky, yet nevertheless strangely loveable Snookis of the world.

    That said, I too hope that they’re not knowingly setting her up to be mocked on the grounds that she may be mentally ill. I don’t know how long filming runs but the only thing that would come close to excusing it (and even this is morally questionable) is if they need to set up the situation in order for an intervention to make sense and have an impact on the audience’s sympathies. But that requires lot of exposition and a genuine intervention by her family, and I really can’t see this type of show going in that direction, even from a “serial dater and professional advice giver is slowly crumbling from being completely out of touch with reality”.

  17. KrakenSkulls says:

    As much as I love a good conspiracy, if the show was involved with getting the number at all (I’m guessing our Donk is not unfamiliar with doing her own amateur P.I. work) the conversation probably went like this:

    Jurya Ralason: I’ve called all my exes and no one will agree to come on. Jack has a new number since he moved to Guam. Can you help me get it?

    You can’t record a phone call without the person’s permission. That is called wiretapping and the shit is srs bizness. While reality shows may trample ethical and moral codes, they aren’t going to illegally tape the phone call to a serviceman where she asks if she can record him in the future.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      They couldn’t broadcast the call without him signing a release anyway. He’s not a public figure.

    • Julie Booger's Crown Is Upside Down says:

      They can’t broadcast a phone call, but they can sure as hell kick up some dirt and film the aftermath. Imagine you’re a production company reality casting guru who was counting on someone as unhinged as Julie to put on a good show, and instead she works overtime to clean up her act for the cameras. What might you do to push her out of this insufferable Srs Writer Lady act and into some awesome, filmable craycray? None of the Pancakes stuff has to air at all, it just has to burst the sanity bubble she’s so obviously trying to maintain.

    • crazytrain says:

      “You can’t record a phone call without the person’s permission. That is called wiretapping and the shit is srs bizness.”

      This is wrong. It varies by state, but in general most jurisdiction’s require only one party’s consent to record a phone call. There’s also a common law doctrine called the “unreliable ear,” which essentially says that one party to the conversation bears the risk that the other party has consented to the conversation being monitored.

      • KrakenSkulls says:

        I do like to be corrected when I am wrong, especially about things like this, but what about Monica Lewinsky and that hosebeast that recorded her, Linda Tripp? Tripp almost got prosecuted for wiretapping. Also, I was looking at watches with a video cameras in them and because they are “spy” the manufacturer removed the audio recording functionality from them to comply with wiretapping laws. Also, try finding an Android or iPhone app to record both sides of all your phone calls. It is difficult because they made it difficult to record the mic and speaker at the same time. Lots of companies are careful to cover their ass with record to wiretapping, therefore I assume TV producers would be too.

  18. LEFOOLIEH says:

    JuliaAllison Julia Allison
    Thanks for having me on @WhatsTrending, @ShiraLazar!! Love you, lady.
    29 Nov

    [img]http://makeagif.com/i/yfzUZY[/img]

    • LEFOOLIEH says:

      FLAIL.

      [img]http://makeagif.com/media/12-01-2011/yfzUZY.gif[/img]

      • AFGHANI the INEVITABLE says:

        I used to find Lazar kind of sexy. Not anymore. Not after seeing this. eeeeeee yikes.

        • LEFOOLIEH says:

          I think she still has her cute. MY point was those faces she was making at the camera as JA was talking and so completely oblivious to them. If I’m not mistaken, she was being catty as hail.

          • AFGHANI the INEVITABLE says:

            I’m still turned off by the fact that she’s Dov Charney’s sister (or cousin? or step sister? something like that)

          • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

            Afghani, I am disappoint. get yo facts straight son!
            (she’s his stepsister)

          • AFGHANI the INEVITABLE says:

            I admitted I wasn’t sure of the relationship. And even if she was only a cousin, it’s hard to get passed the relation bc he’s so creepy.

          • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

            Not a Shira fan, even if she is so ineffably prescient that she reported Jobs’ death a few months before it actually happened.

          • Andy Wintour hacks (up a furball) says:

            Shira once told Paul Carr that she wished she were “as famous as Julia Allison”. She has big dreams.

        • DSM V: JFA Edition says:

          you wouldn’t believe how thick her make-up is in person. disturbing. even more than donkey.

        • Frequent Liar Miles says:

          Also do not like Shira the Leper. That space-queen Halloween costume of hers rivaled Donkerina’s in stupidity.

  19. Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

    Years ago someone I grew up with wanted to get ahold of me — well, she also wanted to threaten me, which is a long story — and in order to get my unlisted phone number she went through a friend at the DMV. Simple. She got my home address that way, too, which she made sure I knew when she left her first message. She was less a stalker than an asshole, and I think of JA the same way. I have no doubt the people in her life feel threatened but I can’t imagine she’d ever physically harm someone, because she’s too lazy to actually raise a hoof. (Emotional torture is tots in her wheelhouse, however.)

    • LEFOOLIEH says:

      I think she wouldn’t get physical because that’s a much tougher stain to remove and disprove, and it would come with some hardcore consequences. While I don’t see her doing it right now, give her a few more years of fail, aging and all that bitterness and rage continuing to burn within her and who knows. If her parents don’t get her help she’ll just keep regressing, and it appears she’s continually being enabled to do so. I doubt her parents will ever really stop supporting her, but she could go off the deep end whether they do or don’t. Her behavior even now is really alarming.

      • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

        We Need To Talk About Julia.

        • LEFOOLIEH says:

          For *snap* THE *snap* WIN *snap*

        • Albie Quirky says:

          <3

          I loved that book. It was a huge hit in the UK but somehow never took off here, which made me sadz.

          • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

            I loved it, too. After I finished it I made all my friends and family read it at the same time, and then on an appointed day we all met online and basically screamed. It’s SO good. I can’t think of a better combination of naturalism and a thoroughly unreliable narrator.

          • Ineffably Adverbial (Return of the Eyebrows of Fury) says:

            Me too, Albie! It started slow but then I was riveted and by the end I wanted to throw up. I’m excited to see the film version.

          • ShesJustStupid says:

            I’m so conflicted about that book. The reason it was so fascinating was because it felt real, even as crazy as it was. But it’s fiction. So it’s basically it’s a made up story about a psychopathic kid. Which really shouldn’t interest me that much. ARRRGH.

          • Helena (Simultaneously Equal Parts) says:

            GAWD I loved the book too. I made my mom and three friends read it and ALL of them loved it and spread the word about it too. I’ve spent hours talking about that book.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            I just ordered it on Amazon based on your bitches’ recs.

          • Kissy Face to a Crowd of Crickets says:

            just reserved it at my public library! love you catladies and your book recommendations. i’ve read some great stuff thanks to y’all.

          • Helena (Simultaneously Equal Parts) says:

            I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. I wouldn’t call it one of the best books I’ve ever read, but one of the most intense, no doubt.

            Friends (by which I mean 17 ceramic cats) and I were wondering if a catman would find it as enthralling, or could it be a she-cat thing? Honestly, I don’t think that any male cats I know, including those who reed bukks offen, would read a 400+, sorry, over 400+ page book about some dysnfunctional family shit.

          • Helena (Simultaneously Equal Parts) says:

            *dysfunctional

          • CDB says:

            @Helena I will read it and let you know.

          • Helena (Simultaneously Equal Parts) says:

            Awesome, Bob, please let us know what you think.

      • solidarity cat says:

        But let’s also remember that she did get into a fistfight with James Fey’s sister. That got physical. I just say.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Holy fuck, what an asshat. Was she pissed about something you had written about her (or a friend or family member), or was she just holding a grudge like a cray person?

      • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

        I used a school photo of her (from first grade — she was utterly unrecognizable) in an essay about how I thought she was a saint. I changed her name, the name of all of her siblings, changed details. She basically threatened to kill me for using the photo. Lawyers were involved, mistakes were made, etc. You won’t be surprised to learn she’s a radical Christian in some kind of holiness sect.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          WWJD? Probably not that.

          Though it would be funny if He did send angry clay tablets to the Apostles.

          Hey, Mark—

          This is Jesus. Listen, we need to talk about all of this ‘mustard seed’ bullshit. You’re making Me sound like an asshole. Also, I don’t even know how big a mustard seed is; you know how My mother hates spicy food.

          Blessings,

          J.

          • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

            Mark is by far my favorite piece of literature in history, so can we pick on . . . Paul? I know he’s not a synoptic but what a JERK.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            I love Mark, too*. But then I love your stuff!

            I was thinking that this lady’s Jesus was as much of a jerk as she was.

            *Have you ever seen one of those one-person shows where someone performs a whole gospel? I am kind of addicted to them, ever since I saw Alec McCowen’s performance of Mark. It is one of my secret pleasures, since almost everyone I know is either an atheist or Jewish or both.

          • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

            Albie, I rewrote a book of the NT for an anthology, but not a Gospel. I have the Johnny Cash box set of him reading the entire New Testament. It’s very moving.

          • stalker is the new fat says:

            I saw Johnny Cash guest-starring on Columbo last night. He was AH-mazing. Such a powerhouse of star quality. Watching him and Peter Falk together was delicious. Two greats.

      • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

        Oh, and the point is she had no grounds — the photo was in a public yearbook.

  20. "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

    Bravo is already under closer scrutiny after Russell Armstrong committed suicide. They’ve been accused – with Andy Cohen in particular being singled out – of exploiting those who are clearly troubled, mentally ill individuals in order to create drama and high ratings. Bravo probably think Russell Armstrong would hang himself, but they knew for a fact that he was abusing his wife (all of the housewives admit that it was discussed off-camera, and that producers were aware).

    So the interesting angle on this story is not that it involves the camera-shy offspring of a political figure. The interesting angle – and the one Bravo should be extremely careful to avoid – is that the network habitually exploits the obviously mentally ill.

    No one who has done their homework on Julia Allison can conclude that she is mentally sound. If Bravo has done their homework, they know about the multiple restraining orders, the stolen credit card, the made-up rape claims, the outing of her own family member’s rape, the outing of an ex’s supposed mental illness, the physical altercations with another ex’s sister over theft…the list goes on. If they know all this and still plan to groom Julia Allison Baugher as their next star, there’s something very fishy going on at Bravo – and it’s not a story they should want out there.

    • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

      To be clear, I meant to type, “Bravo probably DIDN’T think Russell Armstrong would hang himself.”

    • JFA - NO ONE CARES says:

      I don’t know…I feel like mental illness can be a slippery concept. I mean has she been diagnosed with anything? It’s not like they have access to her medical records. Seems like they would have to make a LOT of assumptions to conclude this. I mean if it starts filming and it’s obvious, I would think they should try to get her help at least behind the scenes. But at this point I won’t fault them for not recognizing any mental illness because it’s not entirely clear unless you follow her pretty closely, and even then it’s not entirely clear what her illness even IS. So, thats’ just my two cents.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        I’ve heard that some reality shows (SURVIVOR is one, supposedly) put finalists through psychological testing before before they make the final cut to be a part of it all. I just don’t see Bravo doing that to any in-depth extent though.

    • JFA - NO ONE CARES says:

      Also all that behavior can just be viewed as the actions of someone with very loose morals. Not necessarily obvious mental illness. So I’m gonna give them a pass.

      • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

        Someone could have said the same about Russell Armstrong beating the shit out of his wife, until he hanged himself.

        • JFA says:

          I’m get it…I just don’t put the liability on the show is all. Reality tv is terrible and chews people up and spits them out. I’m just saying if she has a mood disorder, or sociopathy, it’s not really something they would necessarily know about or be under any sort of duty to monitor or whatever. I mean honestly most people who even agree to do these shows are unstable. Look at Jersey Shore. At least half of them are clearly alcoholics. Is that the shows fault? I don’t think so personally.

          • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

            Oh, I do not blame the show for people being fucked up. Just saying that Bravo is already fighting a big PR battle on this front. JAB is certifiable and the production companies know it. Does Bravo? There’s a story here and a smart journalist will pick it up.

    • diluted brain says:

      I totally agree with you.

      It’s hard to watch RHOBH when Russell is on screen knowing he a) used to hurt Taylor and b) is dead. While I enjoy the shows, if it would save people’s lives and avoid unnecessary public drama, then I would hope Bravo would stop airing them… but people love drama. The donkey will bring on the drama.

      I would hope the network did their homework on donkey but you never know. Some still think she is a writer or works for TONY. I’m just curious if this show makes it on the air, how it will be perceived from others outside of RBD.

  21. Natasha says:

    Hmm, I think Occam’s Razor is at work here: an easier explanation is that Pancakes sent out a mass email to his friends and family with his new number, and she figured he had a new one and badgered one of the weaker links in the chain for the number until they caved. Or even did a manipulative type thing where she said she’d “lost” his number, did they have his new one? etc.

    • Natasha says:

      I just think that’s an easier explanation than that the producers of this reality show risked some very public flak from a politician’s family to placate A Donk.

  22. Cowboys & Brayliens says:

    Sing along!

    On the first day of Donkmas, my true love gave to me a pilot on Bravo TV.

    On the second day of Donkmas, my true love gave to me two co-stars, and a pilot on Bravo TV.

    On the third day of Donkmas, my true love gave to me three photo shoots, two co-stars, and a pilot on Bravo TV.

    On the fourth day of Donkmas, my true love gave to me four late articles, three photo shoots, two co-stars, and a pilot on Bravo TV.

    On the fifth day of Donkmas, my true love gave to me FIIIIVE CUUUP CAAAAAKES, four late articles, three photo shoots, two co-stars, and a pilot on Bravo TV.

    On the sixth day of Donkmas, my true love gave to me six cease and desists, FIIIIVE CUUUP CAAAAAKES, four late articles, three photo shoots, two co-stars, and a pilot on Bravo TV.

    On the seventh day of Donkmas, my true love gave to me seven facebook photos, six cease and desists, FIIIIVE CUUUP CAAAAAKES, four late articles, three photo shoots, two co-stars, and a pilot on Bravo TV.

    On the eighth day of Donkmas, my true love gave to me eight macbook airs, seven facebook photos, six cease and desists, FIIIIVE CUUUP CAAAAAKES, four late articles, three photo shoots, two co-stars, and a pilot on Bravo TV.

    On the ninth day of Donkmas, my true love gave to me nine parking tickets, eight macbook airs, seven facebook photos, six cease and desists, FIIIIVE CUUUP CAAAAAAKES, four late articles, three photo shoots, two co-stars, and a pilot on Bravo TV.

    On the tenth day of Donkmas, my true love gave to me ten burning man costumes, nine parking tickets, eight macbook airs, seven facebook photos, six cease and desists, FIIIIIVE CUUUP CAAAAAAKES, four late articles, three photo shoots, two co-stars, and a pilot on Bravo TV.

    On the eleventh day of Donkmas, my true love gave to me eleven pissed-off exes, ten burning man costumes, nine parking tickets, eight macbook airs, seven facebook photos, six cease and desists, FIIIIIIIVE CUUUP CAAAAAKES, four late articles, three photo shoots, two co-stars, and a pilot on Bravo TV.

    On the tweeeeeeeeelfth day of Dooooonkmaaaaas, my true love gaaaaave to meeeeee twelve hoooours on twiiiiiiiitterrrrrrrr, eleven pissed-off exes, ten burning man costumes, nine parking tickets, eight macbook airs, seven facebook photos, six cease and desists, FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE CUUUUUUUUUUUUUP CAAAAAAAAAAKES, four late articles, three photo shoots, two co-stars… and a piiiiiiiilot on Braaaaaaavooooooo TEEEEEEEEE-VEEEEEEEEEE!

  23. Peltergeist says:

    There are a lot of ways to get a phone number these days, so I don’t think a producer had to assist her with Jack’s. What we always tend to forget is that there are some really innocent-minded people out there as well as a lot of people who don’t find females to be a credible threat. A couple of years ago I had a female stalker and had to change my cell number as a last resort. Within a week she had gotten it by asking several of my unsuspecting guy friends. No questions asked. As a bonus, she also got herself invited to a few of their parties she knew I’d be attending. Some people are crazy dense.

    • JFA - NO ONE CARES says:

      Oh, I have a male stalker now. It’s horrendous. He must have sent me at least 40 unanswered emails so far and I haven’t talked to him in over a year. Text messages, changes his identity on Gmail to get me to chat with him…it never ends. I realized you have to COMPLETELY cut off contact, even threats, because they just want any sort of reaction and contact. Anyway! Just venting.

      • Peltergeist says:

        Yikes. Is he just annoying, or is he scary? Mine was completely unhinged and terrifying. I know she broke into my apartment, but I couldn’t prove it was her so nothing happened. She was very tiny and cute so hardly anybody but me really believed she was dangerous. My career stalled for years because I refused to put any of my information at all on the internet. Of course she had no problem plastering herself all over the internet and now wants to be famous… No shame.

        • New Year New You says:

          What the hell girl, broke into your apartment? Why did you have a female stalker?

          • Peltergeist says:

            I inherited her. She happened to be obsessed with my boyfriend at the time (I had no idea until we got serious). When he finally got rid of her, she latched on to me and didn’t let go for years. And let me tell you, it is not easy explaining this to people who have never met classy ladies like her or Julia.

        • juliaspublicist's rococo pile of polyester juliaspublicist says:

          At first, I was all, like, “Jordan?” But then you said “tiny and cute.”

        • 11th Wang says:

          Omg I had an eerily similar thing happen to me. So creeped out just thinking about it. Ew ew ew.

  24. Hobby Partner says:

    Uhh, forgive the naivety, but couldn’t she have just gotten the number from his sister?

    • Albie Quirky says:

      If so, then that was an extraordinarily jerky thing for Meghan to do. If my brother gave my exes my phone number—even ones I’m on good terms with, not psychotic Donkeys—without checking with me first, he would be in Big Trouble forever.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Not saying that I think she did hand out the #, but one of my theories was that Megatits hates FlapJack & hence the intro to a deluded Donkey on the make … operating under that assumption, it makes perfect sense that Megatits would provide the new ph #. Also: Megatits, friend of Heidi Montag, probably *would* sign a release & be filmed w/ Donkey.

      • Random Snowflake says:

        There’s no way Meghan gave Julia his new phone number. Even if she hates her brother she has to be aware of the snooping in his phone and laptop that lead to her expulsion from the Coronado home they shared for a week. Blood is thicker than water (and crazy psychotic bitches). Her loyalty would never fall on the side of Julia, no fucking way.

        • Random Snowflake says:

          Oh.. and there no Goddamn way Meghan would ever sign a release to appear on Julia’s reality show. She might be a worthless fame whore too, but there’s no way she would think that appearing on camera with Julia Allison would help her. Not a chance in hell.

    • juliaspublicist's rococo pile of polyester juliaspublicist says:

      From what I understand is that everyone in that family understands that you do not encourage the donkey. Also, from what I understand, Cindy and Meghan really, really don’t like her.

      • Donksers says:

        I like Pancakes and feel bad for him not being able to get Julia out of his life, but I’ve never understood how he failed to notice her batshit insanity in the first five minutes after meeting her. Everything about her screams “GROTESQUE CRAZY NARCISSIST” so how did he miss it?

  25. D says:

    Please tell me someone has watched the premiere of Baseball Wives on VH1? I’m watching it now (Yes, I watch all the “wives” shows on both VH1 and Bravo. It’s my thing, so sue me). In it an ex-girlfriend (not even an ex wife, which most of them are) of some baseball player I’ve never heard of is standing at a bus stop calling his voicemail to congratulate him on making it to the playoffs. She says in her little intro they play during the clip that she’s becoming that “crazy ex girlfriend” and she knows he’s moved on. When she’s speaking into the voicemail she says “I figured you wouldn’t answer, but I just wanted to call and congratulate you…” and then the vm lady comes on to tell her the message is too long.

    So, um…I guess reality show producers might film a one sided phone call. I would LOVE to see a montage of Julio calling all of her exes over the past decade and getting no answers/voicemails/and changed # messages (except her “H.S. Beau” Dan, who I hope to hell has enough common sense not to appear).

    Why oh why would you willingly look that desperate on TV???

    • solidarity cat says:

      Watching it right now. Best part was when she ran into the ex and he ignored her and she was SHAKING and then she was like, “well, I knew there was a chance I’d run into him since I was having lunch at the hotel where her was staying….”
      Excellent. Also, familiar.

  26. mcakez: Taste the Passion! says:
  27. Dog Yapping & Donkey Tears aka Chicken Bone Cheeks says:

    O once got someone’s number in the military and hunted him down. Then again, I was 16 and he was 18. And when he got on the phone, he ripped me a new one because guys don’t get calls like that unless someone is “dying or having a baby.”

    At least I only acted psycho at 6 and not now. I wonder if she conned someone at the base or phone company or the producers did.

    SHE CRAY CRAY.

  28. Pancakes with a side of Pancakes with a side of Heaven and Hell Souffle says:

    http://youtu.be/qq_2GOoFaXE

    I think this pretty much sums up the relationship with Julia and Pancakes. Julia obviously the boy/girl thing with bangs.

  29. JustaDude says:

    Amid all the crazy, it should be noted that JAB cannot even give a shout out to a friend and be correct. Fat Melman’s (I’ll admit– excellent) restaurant is M Street KITCHEN not ‘cafe’. She can’t be bothered with paying attention to anything but herself. Marina del Ray. FAIL. She sucks.

    • Random Snowflake says:

      She’s just thoughtless and can’t be bothered.

    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      I would assume they have excellent steaks. The three best steaks I have ever had (so far!) were in the cities of Paris, Chicago and [sic] Costa Rica. Not that Donkey would ever sully her pristine temple with such.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Costa Rica, Central America? If so, where? I’ve been logging recommendations for a couple of years now in hopes that I get to go back someday & stay longer.

        • Frequent Liar Miles says:

          It was awhile ago, so I don’t remember exactly, but I think it was the Tucanes restaurant at this spa resort near the Arenal Volcano:

          http://www.tabacon.com/

          It was a ribeye, and I see they have that on their menu. I believe (not sure though) that Costa Rica’s environmental regulations mean that all of their beef is organic and grass-fed.

          Also, hanging out in the amazing hot springs while watching the volcano in action was unbelievable. Expensive, but so worth it.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Thank you! I’ve been to Arenal & want to go back (our view that one night was pretty compromised) — can’t recall the name of where we stayed but it was as pretty as Tabacon.

            We saw lots of cows & they definitely had a leaner look to them as a result of the grass diet. I don’t recall that it was due to regulation or I just assumed grass was more bountiful due to the constant rain. Anyway …

            We had great steak (surf & turf combo) at an old family home-turned-hotel in the barrio of San Jose, & if I can dig up the name of the place I’ll post it here — worth checking out for the floors alone, if you’re into an appreciation of painstaking workmanship details of a decadent caliber.

        • Shamoo£ia says:

          I love Tabacon! I’ve been to Costa Rica a number of times and recommend the Arenal area, Manuel Antonio and the beaches in Guanacaste. Great place – you really can’t go wrong!

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Did you love every thing about Costa Rica? I did. I really love the people there — so laid back & friendly, you just can’t help but decompress & come away w/ an attitude adjustment.

        • North Shore Bitch says:

          Brayella, when and where did you stay in Costa Rica? I used to live there – let me know if you’d ever like any recommendations (although if you’ve been gathering recommendations for some time, perhaps you’ve reached your saturation point!)

  30. Giggle Fairy says:

    OT: But it’s 3am and I can’t sleep, so of course reading RBD on my mobile device. Someone posted this ridiculous video of a white dude rapping about pancakes so I felt the need to paste it here:

    http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?desktop_uri=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DTeaft0Kg-Ok%26feature%3Dplayer_embedded&feature=player_embedded&v=Teaft0Kg-Ok&gl=US

    I love the Internet.

  31. Late to the Party, but I'm Staying says:

    Can someone tell me why Jack is called “pancakes”?

    • stalker is the new fat says:

      One of the first pictures she posted of Jack and her together was at a breakfast place. In front of her was some eggs, i think, and in front of him was an order of pancakes. Also in front of him was her side order of pancakes (as if she had pushed it over to him because OMGCELIAC). So he looked to be eating pancakes with a side of pancakes. Then, his name Jack became Flapjack and then from there Pancakes McCain.

    • Random Snowflake says:

      [img]http://i.imgur.com/2DyPH.jpg[/img]

      • Shamoo£ia says:

        Yeah, Julia, you enjoy your side of SYRUP with those eggs. God, why is every minute of her life such a fraud? It must be exhausting. And what in god’s name is that volcanic pile of SHIT sitting next to her plate?

        • SHE IS SO FUCKING GODDAM SMUG I KANT says:

          It looks like some kind of giant cinnamon role?

          She SO does not have ceiling cat’s disease.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Nor does she have Egg Disease.

          • bitchface says:

            her food looks like the vom she cleaned up from the shower

            seriously disgusting

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            It really does, Bitchface. My joints hurt just looking at all that sugary sweet shit.

          • bitchface says:

            yeah & look at HER plate too….. no sugar/carbs but doesn’t look nice at ALL…. what kind of restaurant serves vom on a plate? WHO DOES THAT?

        • Frequent Liar Miles says:

          It is a dutch baby, no?

          Also, nice tit-thrust at your plate o’ eggs, Donkey.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Yep, Dutch Baby. Those things are delicious.

            Now, when I (actually allergic to delicious, delicious wheat) go out for breakfast with my huscat, sometimes I give him my side of pancakes as a side to his pancakes.

            However, he doesn’t go ahead and order YET A THIRD giant pancake on top of that. So the fakery is clear.

          • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

            tits in yo eggs, tits in yo eggs, looking like a fool with yo tits in yo eggs!

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Thanks, Prof C! That little titty ditty is now stuck in my head.

          • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

            you’re going to hate me for this Brayella, but don’t forget the original that I was spoofing: the one-and-only “Skirts up your Crotch”

        • ¿Qué? says:

          lol @ “volcanic pile of shit”

      • SchadenfreudianSlip says:

        Holy crap. I never noticed the syrup next to her plate. How did I miss it? Yes, the side of pancakes was her side of pancakes. She is such a freaking FRAUD. TOOL!! I am just speechless, both at the fact that I missed that and of course at the mere fact of her actions.

        SOCIOPATH!

        • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

          You Ranggggggg?

        • KrakenSkulls says:

          Me neither! All this time I thought he was Pancakes because he ordered “pancakes with a side of pancakes” and we were all “Dude must really, really like his motherfucking pancakes”.

          I don’t know what that volcanic pile of diabetes is, but WHO ORDERS AN ENTIRE CAKE ON A DATE? Jesus Christ, have some restraint. Something that big is meant to be eaten by yourself. In your underwear. On a paper plate. While crying in shame. In the dark. Without utensils.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        LOL @ Donkey using black Paint to thinify herself & look super busty — if she’s going to reduce a body part, it should be that ginormous head of hers & maybe those weirdass fused knuckles on her right hoof.

    • SHE IS SO FUCKING GODDAM SMUG I KANT says:

      It’s probably the funniest thing this place has come up with.

  32. SchadenfreudianSlip says:

    Pardon me while I step up onto this soapbox for a second.

    I have long felt that the producers of reality crap and the networks/non-networks that run these shows are given a free pass on the damage they cause, both to individuals and society. We have reached a point where ratings are the end and all means to getting there are fair game and justified. When the movie Running Man came out (yes, I am an old), it was popcorn fantasy and nothing more. The concept of it was entirely absurd. And while I’m not arguing that a show like Running Man would be acceptable in this day and age, I am saying that its not even close to as far fetched as it was back then.

    But the point I really wanted to make was triggered by a stupid blind item I read this morning about the star of a reality show who is going out of her way to destroy the life of a blogger who published some unflattering items about this “star’s” past. And it got me thinking, isn’t it highly likely that the Donkiopath, emboldened by her newfound fame and enraged by some perceived slight, might ultimately go to lengths to “defend” herself that seriously interfere with, damage or destroy one or more lives? I’m not talking physical violence, but I am talking about destroying reputations, relationships, careers, etc.

    Should Relativity or Blondie whatever or Bravo be held responsible for putting someone who is so clearly sociopathic in a situation where the worst in her will clearly surface and others, mostly likely innocent, suffer real damage?

    Sorry for going on and on, but the overall direction of cable news, sports debate programming, reality TV, tabloid journalism and so on is something that bothers me daily. All great societies collapse. Its historical fact. What’s past is prologue. The fact that no one wants to assign responsibility or for that matter take responsibility for the things that put us on the fast track to that day just bothers the hell out of me.

    And yes, without meaning to, I did somehow tie the Donkissist to the collapse of society. Donkey is bringing the USA down.

    • KrakenSkulls says:

      You said all great societies collapse. Since it is inevitable, what good is it to assign blame for the downfall? All will be forgotten when we’re fighting over expired cans of tuna.

      I don’t think you can blame the producers any more than you can blame Smith & Wesson for a suicide. Donkey signed up for this, literally (we saw deal-signing picture with her cutlets flopping out) and I’m sure that contract she didn’t bother reading said a lot of things like “Objects in the mirror may appear to be a more of a jackass on TV”.

      There currently is no treatment for sociopaths, the best thing for the good of society is to expose them for what they are so normal people can defend themselves. As I said before, consider this show a mass vaccination for people to the Disease of the Donk.

      • Dyspeptic says:

        “All will be forgotten when we’re fighting over expired cans of tuna.” Damn, Krak. Wish I’d written that. You’re on a roll.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Oh, take a chill pill. Trash journalism is not responsible for the collapse of society—if it were, American society would have collapsed in the 18th century, and then again in the 19th century, and then again in the 20th century, and the Kardashians would be living in caves and fighting over scraps of rotting potatoes.

      Read a newspaper from the 1850s if you want to read some horribly tendentious crap that makes today’s journalism look like some kind of magic genius sweetness and light written by Vulcan fairies.

    • stalker is the new fat says:

      She’s already tried to get people fired.

      And we in the US have bigger problems than Julia.

    • juliaspublicist says:

      Willingly putting a sociopath in this sort of situation. That’s what I was tryig to get at. Producers may have not hunted down Pancakes number, but Julia is certainly emboldened now that cameras are rolling.

      • KrakenSkulls says:

        The word “emboldened” jarred me a bit. I guess I’ve been envisioning the producers as a silent, hands-off documentary team. The thought of someone smiling, encouraging and giving their approval to Donkey’s behavior is really disgusting. I have no idea how things work in LA, but I’m guessing it isn’t the Nature Channel down there.

    • I Was Inside says:

      “someone who is so clearly sociopathic”

      stopped reading there.

    • JFA - NO ONE CARES says:

      Well make up your mind, who is responsible for her actions – Donkey herself, or the network? If you are going to hold the networks responsible, how would you even prove liability there? Should it be like a strict liability any time a lunatic on a reality show does someone damage the networks should be held accountable? Please. They will continue to churn this shit out until we stop watching. She’s an adult who signed up willingly. Now any and all of her victims should be able to sue Bravo? It’s silly. And yeah what is her mental illness anyway? She’s a raging narcissist with behavioral problems? She’s not psychotic and she’s not a killer. She would still be considered high functioning. The show is about three twits wo ostensibly give dating advice. They aren’t opening a nursery school here.

    • AFGHANI says:

      I’m pretty sure the blogger you’re writing about wrote something about Melissa Gorga being a stripper in the past? And it appears to be true. It’s crazy the kind of crap that reality “stars” fight over.

      And, yeah, Julia and her dad have already gone after people’s real life jobs. It’s fucking NUTS.

      • AFGHANI says:

        It’s also worth nothing that the people Julia & Dadster went after weren’t even the right people.

  33. Late to the Party, but I'm Staying says:

    Hotcakes McCain is really really tiny and cute. Maybe she was Mistress Moron and he was just a little submissive bitch for her?

    • helobabe says:

      Yeah, I saw pics of him from the night before he moved to Guam and he looked teeny. More like crepes than pancakes!

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