Julie Albertson: So Nice, Except When She’s Not, Which Is Always

“Gail,” by the way, is someone JA knows. Someone she has spent time with, one-on-one. Someone she has blogged and Tweeted about with affection. Such a nice response to a kind acquaintance who was sending her a tip on where to find some shabby chic merchandise after Donkey has Tweeted ad nauseum about wanting to decorate “her apartment” in that style. So very nice!

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220 Responses to Julie Albertson: So Nice, Except When She’s Not, Which Is Always

  1. Deuce MacInaugh says:

    First, etc.

  2. Jordache and the Pelts says:

    ooh grief. Julia is a real chit.

  3. Sausage Snappers says:

    Fucking bitch cunt.

  4. DSM V: JFA Edition says:

    she is truly incredible.

  5. Peltergeist says:

    “President” of a fan page? Seriously?

  6. diluted brain says:

    Her ego has really blown up the closer this show gets. Vom.

    OT: We need a living room tv. We know which one we want. My question is: Do we buy it today online, cyber Monday, or wait until after Christmas? Being that it’s not a present, we’re unsure when to pull the trigger as we have time to wait. I know you guys are servicy :)

  7. Ineffably Adverbial (Return of the Eyebrows of Fury) says:

    God, the assholery on display. I can’t look away.

  8. Every Little Thing She Does is Tragic says:

    Is it any wonder this bitch can’t keep any decent friends for longer than a few months? The cuntitude, it boggles.

  9. Brayniac says:

    I’m confused. What’s the context of this convo? And how is someone asking you how your cross country move and offering helpful suggestions deserving of a “please calm down and ‘channel your energy’.”

    She’s gross. I don’t get it.

  10. Wonkeye says:

    I have a feeling we’re going to have to clear the empty Cheetos bags off the cat-hair-covered sofa and make room for another cat lady’s arrival.

  11. Ashton probably said that to her says:

    Ashton probably said that to her

  12. Plastic Woman-Hating, Self-Hating Donkey says:

    Wait, this is not up on her site, so Gail sent it to you all?

    Brilliant. All the people JA burns should follow suit.

  13. Random Snowflake says:

    Wow, JAB is feeling pretty fucking important right now. The T.V. cameras are going straight to her head.. And it’s a reality T.V. show for f’chrissake, they only cast potential train wrecks for these things.

    I think our girl is going to “channel it” straight over here to RBD. Donk treats people like shit and then wonders why the ranks of her “haters” continues to grow. Dumbass.

  14. Mrs Basement Dwelling Cat Lady says:

    Just did a google search on “Juliaallison” and “Gail”. I’m guessing this is the reader she met for high tea in SF some months back? If so, it’s bitchy for sure, but it’s not like she sent the text to a friend. And in JA’s defence, we don’t know how many texts Gail’s been sending her.

    That said, I agree that this is one of those nasty things you might think, but you avoid saying.

    • Mrs Basement Dwelling Cat Lady says:

      I should add that (like many here) I have personally met Julia and think she’s a total cunt. In fact, it was my experiences actually spending time with her in person that have made this my favorite guilty pleasure blog for years now.

    • Fashion Girl says:

      Even if Gail is a stalker, that is a truly bizarre way to respond. Total NPD behavior to engage with them instead of just ignoring the messages.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Actually super-famous people don’t do shit like this.

      They either ignore or send a canned response.

      A Donkey once again fails at managing her personal brand (unless she means for her personal brand to be ‘over the top narcissistic jerkwad’ in which case SUCCESS!)

      • mcakez: Fun Club Treasurer says:

        Super famous people wouldn’t have given their phone number to Gail and met up with her in the first place, nor would they have bragged about they’re ‘fan’ meeting on their blog.

        Julia does is to keep up the appearance that she matters, when all her gushing back to the one or two people who occasionally message her shoes how desperate and sad she really is. “LOOK!!! I can haz fans??!!! People love me!!!”

    • mcakez: Fun Club Treasurer says:

      Let’s imagine for a second that Gail wasn’t some ordinary schlub that Julia allowed to meet her for tea and crumpets and asked to take multiple pictures of her ‘hard at work.*’ Were Gail the slightest bit famous or rich, play date number one would have been ‘Hanging out with the adorable and talented Miss Gail!’ and Gail would be a new best friend.

      As it is, Gail is, from what I can tell, and ordinary girl who probably leads a great lfe other than making the mistake of liking Misssss Allisssssson. Therefore she is a crazed fan who needs to take a hi t that Julia is Internet famous and doesn’t have time for the little people, so Gail ought to it STOP FUCKING TEXTING ALREADY, OKAY?

      If you are famous/rich, one hangout = bbflz4life!!! Know your PLACE, Gail.

      *Do you think she would ask Jack Dorsey or Marc Pincus. (or even the local channel 3weathergirl, for that matter) to sit there and drink tea and snap her picture while she ‘worked’?

      HELLS TO THE NO!!!

    • Arl says:

      Gail did refer to herself as JA’s “biggest fan” back when they went to “high tea” together. But since then it seems like Gail has come to regard her as a mentor/big sister while Julia doesn’t really seem to care.

      What Julia’s done here is alienated someone who actually identified herself as a fan and had positive thoughts about her. People like that seem to be really rare. Instead of piss Gail off (which I assume happened since Gail passed on the text to RBD), she could have sent a message saying thanks, and then tacked on that she’s considering making a fan page and would Gail like to run it or be the president? That way, Gail probably would have seen it as a great opportunity and jumped on it. Instead, another catlady is born. Julia is a bitch.

  15. Marcy says:

    How did you get a copy of the text exchange?

  16. betch says:

    Oh Julia, its ALMOST cute how delusional you are. Ha who am I kidding you are far from cute. If you don’t want friends, and just fans, then keep doing what you’re doing, which is being an utter bitch. You’re just as fake as your eyelash extensions. You don’t have a boyfriend for a reason.

  17. Frequent Liar Miles says:

    Wait, this isn’t just Donk thinking she’s being “hysterical?” Seriously?

    • Mule on rouge says:

      That’s how I took it, too. She thinks she’s funny, for some unfathomable reason.

    • DirtyLakeMichigan says:

      That’s what I was thinking. She thinks it’s funny only it comes off as so completely bitchy and cuntastic. I hope the young, impressionable, Gail’s feelings weren’t too hurt and she was led directly to the light that is RBD.

  18. Bravo, Julia! says:

    What a bitch! How is what Gail sent her any different from the usual stuff donkey blabs about all over the internet about/to people she knows?

    • mcakez: Fun Club Treasurer says:

      Aren’t there reports that JA text bombs people who want nothing to do with her all the time?

      We have seen how persistently she will bray @people on twatter without the slightest head nod, we know she has to be worse behind the scenes.

      Would that she would only follow her own advice and become the @ashton president, @bonobos queen, @megmccain founder, etc. OMG, do it Jules, and your dreams of being a ‘founder’ can inexorably be YOURS!!!

  19. Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

    Can I also point out that Julia sent her response at MIDNIGHT?! Soooo nice.

    • Mule on rouge says:

      Three’s nothing I enjoy more than waking up to the sound of my phone alerting me to what can only be an urgent message re: a family emergency, only to find out it’s just spam from an obnoxious farm animal.

  20. Dr. Gary says:

    Just when I thought she’d gotten boring. Nice to see she’s the same old Cunty McCunterson.

    Hope all the cat ladies are having a great holiday.

  21. AFGHANI says:

    Emily Rose?

  22. Ms Melty Pelty says:

    Did you get any info on the context of this text? It just seems really, really OFF even for JA. Was she trying to make a joke (and failing, as usual)? It would be so easy to respond with something generic like, “It’s going great! Thanks for the tip!” She barely listens at the best of times and once she actually gets the opportunity to interact in a bland, fawning way she goes ultra formal and bitchy?

    (OT but my pet peeve is when people use only “[name],” when addressing someone. Am I the only one who thinks that sounds immensely snotty?)

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Wait, what? You mean that a salutation should be used?

      • Ms Melty Pelty says:

        Yeah, something like “Hey Gail,” or just no name at all. Maybe it’s just me, but using [name][comma] reminds me of getting scolded as a kid or something.

        • Catnak the Magnificent says:

          She had to use Gail’s name, since she planned to post this for the world to see. No doubt she wanted the world to see Gail’s atrocious spelling, as well.

          • Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

            But the screencap on this post came from Gail’s phone, not from Donkey’s (if it came from Donkey’s phone, it would say “Gail” or a phone number instead of “Julia”).

          • Mule on rouge says:

            argh, reading comprehension fail.

    • GailFan says:

      I’m with you on the name-comma text. It has a very, “Listen very closely to what I’m about to say” feel to it. Then again I’m guilty of using that tactic.

  23. juliaspublicist's rococo pile of polyester juliaspublicist says:

    This reminds me of the poor soul who wrote that “Julia Allison is Pretty” Tumblr in defense of all the hate blogs. It started out as really genuine, but Julia, being the cunt that she is, couldn’t see the sincerity and asked that it be taken down.

    This show is going to her head, and I love it. I think we are going to see some prime cuntitude that we have never seen before.

    • juliaspublicist's rococo pile of polyester juliaspublicist says:

      Also I refuse to write a post on it because of the sensitive nature of the source, but another cunt move was using Dan’s incredibly personal email and somehow making it relevant to her. I really don’t understand why he is still her friend.

      • Dog Yapping & Donkey Tears aka Chicken Bone Cheeks says:

        I agree. Disgusting.

      • crazytrain says:

        I’m surprised you guys don’t know this but those words she quoted from Dan weren’t from a personal email, they’re from a post he wrote on his public blog: http://breathingroom.tumblr.com/

        She’s still a self-absorbed cunt for making it about her, but to be fair, he did share that publicly. I also doubt he is writing anything to her individually.

        • DirtyLakeMichigan says:

          After reading that, I’m completely baughled as to why or how he has remained close to her. Is it because he walks in the shadow of death every day and her complete narcissism is a refreshing amusement for him? Maybe he finds value in someone who is so utterly clueless and it brings him comfort? That at least one person in his life is truly not thinking about ‘him’ and when around her the focus is genuinely NOT on him? He’s in a prison of fear and doubt every day and tries to be grateful for the calm periods in his life though it is obvious cancer will never, ever be just a word for him. I can’t imagine he relates to her intellectually or spiritually on any level. The only thing that makes sense to me is he must find her existence of seeking fame, fu money, make believe companies, serious bidnezz lady adventures sort of relaxing. To know there is someone in his circle so utterly unaware of anything must be a nice break for him? IDK…

          • Albie Quirky says:

            No, it’s that he’s a genuinely nice person and she is constantly emotionally blackmailing him because he DUMPED HER JUST BEFORE OMG PROOOOOOOOOOOM!

          • Frequent Liar Miles says:

            Exactly; it puts things in perspective for him.
            Cancer sucks, but it could have been worse: I could have ended up with A Donkey.

            P.S.: Mazel tov, Dan and Mrs. Dan.

        • Dog Yapping & Donkey Tears aka Chicken Bone Cheeks says:

          I see it’s from his blog but she said it was sent in an email to friends and family… only when she was called out for publishing something so personal did she admit that he posted it on his blog…

          She can never tell the truth.

          • Fameless Shamewhore says:

            You are absolutely right! That is so strange I have to post the two comments next to each other, the first from her post, the second from her comment to the same post:

            “…Below is a portion of what he wrote in the email update he sent to friends & family…”

            “…Well, he posted it on his blog – which is public – …”

            Neverending lies. What? Is wrong with her?

  24. ShesJustStupid says:

    So am I reading her twatter right? She flew to San Francisco to have Thanksgiving (AND WINE) with Nick Bilton? What’s this guy’s story?

    • juliaspublicist's rococo pile of polyester juliaspublicist says:

      The guy is supposed to be a respected NYT Journalist. Instead, he’s a total loser that has a boner for Julia.

      • Wonkeye says:

        I used to like Nick. Now I just feel a combination of pity and embarrassment on his behalf.

        • AFGHANI says:

          isn’t Nick also married?

          • She's a cruel and strange bitch says:

            Not anymore.
            Seriously, he’s either divorced or separated.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Separated or divorced. That was why he moved to SF. Both he and his perhaps-now-ex wife discussed it in their blergs.

            She is really cute looking and seems to be on the fast track as a pastry chef and food personality. Of course, now she’s either stuck with the ex-husband’s last name or she has to explain about her earlier credits, etc., being under a different name.

            (I seriously think that this is the best logic for keeping one’s birth surname after marriage, at least professionally if you work in a public-facing career. I had a professor in college who was stuck with a hated ex-husband’s surname for thirty-plus years because all her important early work was published under that name and it would have been too complicated to switch either to her birth name or to her much loved second husband’s name.

            Yes, it is perhaps cynical to think like that, but since more than 40% of all first marriages end in divorce, it’s not crazy.)

      • JFA says:

        I’m consistently amazed by her ability to latch onto seemingly respected individuals. Do they not sniff the horrible stench of desperation and cloying fame whoriness? Then again he seems like a megadouche. But still. Wake up people. She likes you for what she thinks she can get from you.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          The thing is that writing for a newspaper, even a big-deal well-paying gig, is not celebrity. So having someone fawn over you and treat you like a celebrity might be an ego boost, even if that person is a certified moron.

    • bitchface says:

      he’s gross

      Why wasn’t Julia Allison at OMG Randi’s for t-giving?

    • JFA says:

      Jesus Christ does this chick ever STAY IN ONE PLACE? Then again it’s probably on Bravo’s dime at this point…to prove she has a life, which HAHA we know is not true. Didn’t she just move to LA and pretend she loved it so? She has absolutely no life. Maybe stay put for more than 3 seconds and make one?

  25. Records Custodian says:

    Chabby chic? I prefer chubby cheeks.

    This is goddamn hilarious. Nice work, you two.

    This isn’t at all outrageous for Julia Allison. This is exactly how I imagine her very few fan girls to gush and fawn. Well-adjusted women (and men, for that matter) do not seek Julia’s friendship.

    And this is precisely how I would expect Julia Allison to treat a fangirl once Julia determines that she no longer needs them. By all accounts, this is completely par for the course.

  26. Nobody expects the Spanish Interrogation! says:

    OH she is a nasty and vile person. Whenever she gets high off the fumes of her own donkey shit turns into a Category 5 cunt (she’s usually a Category 4/strong category 3).

    I can’t wait until the rest of the world sees what a horrible idiot she is. Doesn’t she realize that this hate site is the closest thing she has to a fan base? Because MANY MANY MANY (many) of the commenters here work in media/pr/journalism (unlike Julie) the writing is top notch. Once she’s tossed to a less erudite crowd, she wont’ be able to handle it.

    Also…HEY BRAVO! SHE’S NOT A COLUMNIST! SHE WAS FIRED! Just like she’s been fired from every job she’s ever had!

    And for old times sake: Julia Allison, Julia Baugher, plagiarism, plagiarize, plagiarizer, Georgetown, Hoya, columnist, fired, get the fuck out of my office, Macbook air, redacted, grapefruit, John McCain, Jack McCain, Cindy McCain, Meghan McCain, refusing to leave Coronado, fraud, liar

  27. Subsidized Donk Den says:

    I think what irritates me the most is that she was happy to treat “Miss Gail” like a pal instead of a fan when she (JA) had nothing better going. And rest assured Gail would’ve rocketed to BFF status if she’d had any valuable connections. Now that she’s got Bravo on the line, she clearly has no patience to pretend she likes this woman in return for flattery and attention. The whole world will be giving her attention soon, bunnies!

    • Albie Quirky says:

      KEEP BURNING THOSE BRIDGES, DONKERINA!

    • Ms Melty Pelty says:

      I’m just waiting for Gail’s inevitable “You should be ashamed of yourself!” letter to get forwarded to Jacy. It should be coming any minute now.

  28. She's a cruel and strange bitch says:

    This whole post and comments are a “You rang?” for me.

  29. Julia Allison is a Ridiculous Moron says:

    It gets better and better.

  30. idiotbox says:

    Perhaps I’m extra harsh, but it’s hard for me to feel sympathetic to a 22 year old woman who looks at Julia Allison’s life and finds it worth emulating. Dear Gail, I feel sad for you. There’s about a bajillion inspiring, brilliant women in this world to admire and model yourself on, but you chose the lazy one, who had so many chances and blew them all. I pity you, because you’re 22 and stupid, not because your role model was mean to you. Grow up, pick someone worthy to admire and get a clue.

    • DirtyLakeMichigan says:

      Well, Gail is a born-again Christian so I hope she recognizes this as God’s way of protecting her from a nasty sort of creature.
      Where is God? And Jesus? I miss their insights.

  31. maid of dishonor says:

    omg y’all this is JUSTLIKE that SATC episode where Carrie hangs out with her virgin fan and gets annoyed! #carrietwopointdoh

  32. Helena (Simultaneously Equal Parts) says:

    I giggle every time these dolts refer to each other as Miss Whatever. So Klassy.

  33. Julia Allison is a Ridiculous Moron says:

    I think JA is terminally bored. That’s why she stalks her exes and talks about herself incessantly. It’s not a good excuse. But it’s a reason.

  34. Circumstantial Celiac Sass says:

    Gail makes me cringe. I feel badly for her, but I also know I’d never want to spend 5mn with her. I think that means I’m old and cranky.

    She’s a very determined, very strategic, very energetic young lady. She is going after the Life She Wants/Deserves. Maybe that’s why the Twitter feed makes me so uncomfortable — she’s making this huge, occasionally cranky and often immature digital footprint that will likely do more harm than good.

    Calm down, kitten bunny. Work hard, filter harder. And remember – everything will work out better if you learn to breathe. And stop watching Twilight.

    I’m serious about that last part.

    • Random Snowflake says:

      She’s sick over this mean Julie thing. She vommed in the shower.

      http://twitter.com/#!/gailwester/status/140235547380686848

      • Circumstantial Celiac Sass says:

        LULZ. But what really gets her is that boyfriend of hers not having the courtesy to suffer in solidarity.

      • Frequent Liar Miles says:

        Vommed in shower cannot be not a coincidence, right? So isn’t it likely that that Donkey-being-a-bitch text interchange came from the same (primary) source?

        If so, the catladies are here for you, Gail. (And we will happily educamate you as to the mysteries of “afternoon tea” v. “high tea,” if you are that same (erstwhile) Donk-fan.)

  35. bitchface says:

    Did anyone else read this and have complete Déjà vu? Or is Julia Allison Baugher’s entire life just a sad rerun?

  36. mcakez: Taste the Passion! says:

    OMFG. brah is watching some documentary on the Sundance Channel. I glanced up just as a Maybelline NY commercial came on and spotted something that made me jump off the couch and yell “Holy shit!!! DONKEY!!!”

    [img]http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=71iemp&s=5[/img]

    brah said, “Woe! You’re like a hawk eye!”
    “Nah,” says I, “a donk eye!”

    • mcakez: Taste the Passion! says:

      Oh hell.

      [img]http://i40.tinypic.com/71iemp.jpg[/img]

      • mcakez: Taste the Passion! says:

        Ugh. So sad, so fat. Also, didn’t realize what brah was watching. He says it is about censorship… SUUUUURE.

      • KrakenSkulls says:

        This thread is made of win. Also, in Brah’s defense, I’m sure that show didn’t actually involve sex. After all, Donkey was in it.
        [img]http://i40.tinypic.com/qow1vc.jpg[/img]

        • mcakez: Taste the Passion! says:

          That was just a split second of stock footage in a commercial. I seriously doubt they even knew who it was, since it started with something like “Want to get that fun, flirty, red-lipped look!” or something like that. I thought to myself, “Blow people for shoes!” self!

          Also, thanks for resizing. I took that with my new Canon camera, and I underestimated how large the second smallest setting would be on my new Canon camera! Such clarity for a shot of a TV set on my new Canon camera, right? My new Canon camera was generously sent to me by the people @Canon (after I sent them a little over a hundred dollars)!!! Thanks, Canon!!! You make magical moments to be shared with my catlady hater friends!!! Canon: not leaving the basement for over 30 years!!!

          Disclaimer: I am not associated with Canon, and have not been paid for content or endorsement. Any breakage that comes to your brain from looking at the Canon picture featured is not the liability of Canon cameras. Please do not taunt happy fun Canons. Though the aforementioned Canon camera was black, this model of Canon camera also comes in P!NK!!! GET YOURS TODAY!!! TELL THEM LARGE MARGE SENT YOU!!!

        • JFA says:

          Ew, is that really her. LOOK AT HER. What a fucking lunatic jackass.

          • JFA says:

            This photo seriously causes THE RAGES. No violence encouraged, but for my own part…I really wanna push her the fuck over there. No one cares about you, honey. You are not a celebrity, you are not Lindsay Lohan. Please stop.

          • Frequent Liar Miles says:

            Nice slash of flattering brick-red blusher, though, you have to admit.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Nice catfish impersonation, Donkey.

    • mcakez: Taste the Passion! says:

      Also, nice caca nails in that last picture.

      I just read a disturbing story on reddit about a gay gang-rape and now that story and those talons will haunt my dreams FOR-EV-ER.

      • Dog Yapping & Donkey Tears aka Chicken Bone Cheeks says:

        Look at the difference in her face between 2010 and 2011 — even in sunglasses – YIKES!!!!

    • Mule on rouge says:

      She is really creative when it comes to applying makeup. Most people would choose a foundation that matches their skin tone.

      [img]http://i52.tinypic.com/23ld0y9.jpg[/img]

      If this whole Bravo-lebrity thing doesn’t work out, she could have a marvelous career in mortuary science.

    • JFA says:

      That entire series of photos in the sunglasses is priceless/terrible. Jesus Christ THIS ONE. That skirt clearly does not fit…those booties are horrendous (you really have to be singularly talented as a fashion failure to ruin booties, which I think are cute as hell)…the shoes clearly don’t go with that outfit, which is horrendous in and of itself. I cannot. Also love the “look at my ass” shot like she’s at the oscars displaying a Marchesa gown.

      http://www.zimbio.com/pictures/TYzqN-Z6-xQ/Seen+Around+Lincoln+Center+Day+6+Spring+2012/Ah4runkaGom/Julia+Allison

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Fauxto #1 … (gotta love the Bitch Please look to the right!) … black shoes, grey tights & a strapless blue dress? To NYFW, of all places? Honey.

      Fauxtos #2 & #4 … WTF is it w/ Donkey always having fabric bunched up? Are clothes unable to hang properly on her? Is it static cling to a spanx girdle?

      • Albie Quirky says:

        Yes, what is that? She’s all winter downstairs, Spring Break on the top floors.

        I know that she wears tights all the time in order to make her sturdy legs look slimmer, but give some thought to coordinating your outfit, A Donkey.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Note: I am also on Team Sturdy Legs, so this is style snark, not body snark. Just for the folks following along with an Outrage Bingo card.

  37. Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

    Oh hai. I’m here from the literacy police to point out that Julia has inexorably misused yet another word that smart high schoolers are expected to know. WHY DO DONKEYS KEEP RAPING ENGLISH????

    “@juliaallison: I’ve been debating the merits of only slightly disparate shower curtain rings for a solid 10 minutes. Totally a good use of time.”

    Disparate = incomparably different. You can’t just replace “different” with “disparate” in hope of seeming less like an incurious & shallow bitch. Calling things “slightly disparate” is like calling someone “slightly HIV positive” or “slightly Pulitzer Prize-winning,” you illiterate disgrace to journalism and American education.

    • juliaspublicist says:

      She never reads here. I used that word the other day — correctly.

      • Random Snowflake says:

        Even throwing out an em dash, and using it correctly. Donk needs to keep a notebook handy when she doesn’t read here. :)

    • Dog Yapping & Donkey Tears aka Chicken Bone Cheeks says:

      I read that and thought the same thing but was too lazy and too fat to mention it. Her smartie friends must LOL every time they read her Twatter.

    • JFA says:

      As sad as I am about certain aspects of my life sometimes (I’m morose shut up!), I can honestly say it’s never gotten so bad that I felt the need to tweet about fucking shower curtain rings. Wow.

  38. Some Girl says:

    Despite the bitchiness of Julia’s response, she still decided to take Gail’s advice and filled up 2 carts with white and pink crap at Target.

    And yes, bringing your dog to Target on Black Friday is a very good idea. Why doesn’t everyone do that?

    [img]http://i43.tinypic.com/3313m8o.jpg[/img]

    • diluted brain says:

      Do people really bring pets shopping with them? She is just unbelievable. Oh and grow up with your color selection. You’re in your thirties, bitch.

      • Scooby Don't says:

        Well Lilly is a service dog after all.
        She serves as a prop to make Donkey seem like a caring, compassionate human being who can care about something else besides her bespackled self.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Black Friday, in Target, & Donkey imposes herself on other shoppers by backing them up to allow her the angle to take a panoramic fauxto of her g-d dog in a shopping cart? How fuck. Self-absorbed 12-year-old girls are very annoying to be around … the 31-year-old w/ even less consideration for others must cause a hell of a lot of teeth grinding.

      • Dyspeptic says:

        so was a taskbunny pushing cart number two, or is Donks more coordinated than I give her credit for?

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          My Guess: by Day II of Donkey’s braying, taskbunny ran screaming into the surf & has not been heard from since — otherwise the fauxto would be of a dog & its donkey (& taskbunny could add fauxtochoppe skillz to her resume).

    • Albie Quirky says:

      FREE LIL(L)Y!

      That is just fucking sad dot com. Sad sad sad sad. Dot dot dot dot. Com com com com.

      And she clearly got at least two pieces of the Shabby Chic collection—I spy the lamp and the bathroom rug in the cart Lilly isn’t driving. WAY TO BE A JERK TO PEOPLE WHO GIVE YOU ADVICE YOU ACTUALLY USE, DONKEY!

    • New Year New You says:

      Lilly looks squashed from being zipped inside that bag. :(

    • JFA says:

      Hey Dadser’s your credit card bill just increased inexorably!

      Also who fuck buys a white rug??? Nice purple bins too. Jackass.

    • featherbrained says:

      That cunt went and took her fan girl’s suggestion. She is a horrific person.

  39. Andrea Spivey says:

    Ugh, why can’t she let the pink and white color palette go?

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

      Because those colors are still very appropriate for her mental age.

    • Helena (Simultaneously Equal Parts) says:

      She’s still trying to make the “Girly Donkey” thing happen, the poor dear heart.

  40. KashMoney says:

    i think she has to decorate the new apt in pink, only to have Bravo redecorate it in grown-up color (as per that memo that leaked here). that’s how contrived this show is.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

      Or maybe she doesn’t know about the planned redecoration? Does she?

      • Andy Whorehol says:

        Her ongoing weird attraction to all things pink is beyond perplexing given how desperate she is to attract a man. It’s not enough that she kills boners thanks to her drag queen pelts/make-up/style/plastic surgery, the daddy’s pampered little princess shtick and the purse dog, but the insufferable affection for all things PIIIINNNKKK really seals the deal on how undateable she really is. This might be halfway acceptable if she were ten years younger and still a sorority girl, but this nearly 31-year-old broad just refuses to evolve.

        I’m still oddly fascinated by her persona though: is she so stupid that she still expects some man to magically fall for her despite all that mess, or does she just not give a damn?

      • KashMoney says:

        she reads here obsessively, so she knows now.

  41. Restylame says:

    What the fuck? I know I’m late to the party, but that is so incredibly nasty. What a vile human being.

    (Now to read the rest of the comments…)

  42. JFA says:

    I have to say, I am seriously looking forward to this reality show now. At first I was kinda pissed she got the opportunity, because it’s all she has ever wanted, and she sucks, but now I think it’ll be just HILARE-BALLS to watch the shitshow. I will gladly host a NYC catlady viewing party, and provide cheese doodles and beer. I’m really thinking they are gonna tear her apart for shits and giggles because she is such a goddamn mess. Pass the popcorn.

    • Donk, Donk. Who's There? says:

      so is this shit show already filming? do we think the cameras were following her in target? ugh, she is just LOVING herself. i can’t wait until they show her true colors. there is NO WAY they are going to focus on how “nice” and quirky she (thinks she) is.

      • juliaspublicist's rococo pile of polyester juliaspublicist says:

        I don’t think the cameras are following her everywhere she goes. Rather they are creating very contrived situations to film.

        • The Tortuous and the Hair says:

          I think you’re right, JP. I’ve worked on a couple of reality shows (both Bravo) and if I had to guess, I’d say that they’ll follow her only three days a week. If it’s a one hour show and there are three women appearing, they’ll each get < 15 minutes face-time per episode. Pity the editor that has to watch 24+ hours of Donk each week in the editing room.

          I also agree with the contrived situation bit. Episodes will be completely plotted out in production meetings prior to shooting. I cannot imagine having to sit in a conference room with a honking, braying Donkey taking the meeting off-topic to yammer on about herself.

      • JFA says:

        Exactly…the smug self-satisfied jackasshattery that will be her behavior in front of the cameras will be PRICELESS. Also as we are all donkey experts we will be able to spot the exaggerations, falsehoods and downright lies from a mile away. It’s gonna be thoroughly entertaining for us. Less so for the rest of America. I give it 6 episodes max.

  43. Norse Horse, Inexorably says:

    JuliaAllison Julia Allison
    Annnnnd I totally forgot it was Black Friday. Maybe not the best time to do a Target run with @Lillydog. Oops?
    21 hours ago <

    UGGh, she is such a terrible dingbat liar. I myself have been driven batty by mentions of stupid-ass “Black Friday” nonstop the past four days, on my tv, radio, dozens of websites, op-eds in newspapers, discussion at Thanksgiving dinner.. it’s been inescapable! But she expects people to believe she “forgot”, as if her own Thanksgiving dinner the night before mightn’t have reminded her. Dreadfully full of shit, and dragging Lily along is just so stupidly amoral. And her cutesy “Oops?” is just eternally brayge-making, she is the worst.

    • juliaspublicist's rococo pile of polyester juliaspublicist says:

      Um. . . there is never a good time to go shopping with her fucking dog suffocating in her purse.

    • Helena (Simultaneously Equal Parts) says:

      I’m on the other hemisphere and even I knew it was Black Friday yesterday. But hey, I’m a sad, sort of angry hater, right? I’m not an adorbs pink princess, am I? If only I knew how to “oops” my way through life, rich boys would love me like they love Juera, sigh.

      (Of course, I realize that Miss Donkey knew it was Black Friday yesterday. But then, cf. the “tell me about this strange thing you call IKEA that is tots unknown to pretty pink me” episode. Ever so cute.)

    • LetItExplode says:

      Dogs are not allowed in Target.

      • juliaspublicist says:

        Then why did they let Julia in? With Lilly, no less.

        • CDB says:

          Being filmed? and Target gets a mention?

        • Some Girl says:

          I think she said somewhere, maybe in her comments, that Lilly’s bag doesn’t look like a “dog bag” so she can hide her in it when she goes somewhere dogs aren’t welcome. Because, as usual, rules don’t apply to Julia.

        • LetItExplode says:

          Dogs aren’t allowed into any stores that serve food and Target has a popcorn/hot dog zone. I’m guessing Julia knows this and believes the rules don’t apply to her. So she either smuggled Lilly in or lied and called her a service animal.

          As a dog owner and lover I feel so bad for Lilly. Why the fuck did she get the shaft while Langdon was rescued?

          • She's a cruel and strange bitch says:

            She has admitted in the past that she smuggles Lily into store, including grocery stores, because they are “mean about dogs”.

          • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

            Dog in a bag at discount retailer = high status marker.

          • mcakez: Taste the Passion! says:

            Many Targets have full-on grocery stores now, too. I’m not sure if that counts.

            Anyway, she is a stupid bitch.

      • Dog Yapping & Donkey Tears aka Chicken Bone Cheeks says:

        Truth. My co-worker got thrown out of Target for having a dog. She’s an entitled idiot like JA.

  44. juliaspublicist's rococo pile of polyester juliaspublicist says:

    OT: But, you guys! I want a hot Aussie!

    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      So they just used his mom’s – oops, I mean mum’s – kicking the bucket to advance the buttsecks agenda? Where is Preacher Jim when his guidance is needed?

      P.S.: That is one pretty cute young man, though. Australians can outdo even Californians in the whole adorably wholesome department, I guess.

    • zandra says:

      Maybe I’m just overly emotional from my hangover but I had a Julia moment and LITERALLY teared up!

  45. Julia Allison is a Ridiculous Moron says:

    She signed it with a “:)” so I’m thinking that she meant it, somehow, in a nice way? Or as a joke? I dislike JA as much as anyone, but somehow, this seems like it’s out of context or something?

    • zandra says:

      The only context I’m getting is ‘eager fan sends text messages and Julia responds like Julia AKA a massive cuntbag’.

    • juliaspublicist says:

      There was a smiley face in the email where redacted called her out for emailing his fiancé.

      “Guess I’m not invited to the wedding :)”

    • New Year New You says:

      A backstabber will always smile in yo face. I learnt that from The O’Jays.

  46. Nobody expects the Spanish Interrogation! says:

    Did she take down this staggering display of cuntiness? I don’t see it on her retarded sideways blech.

  47. YouBtchesBeCrazay says:

    How do you know this is the entirety of the conversation? iPhones often have a feature where you can delete texts. How do we know “Gail” didn’t write something else, to which Julia was replying? I am a wholehearted fan of rbns and rebloggingdonk–it’s frankly the only reason why I pay attention to JA–but your sense of journalism is really pathetic. I shouldn’t critique–I know, the entire site is founded on libel–but I wonder why y’all are so quick to jump on something that could have been just a sly screen capture. Also do you moderate comments? I’d love to see if this actually gets through.

  48. mcakez: Taste the Passion! says:

    No she fucking did NOT.

    La_Donk: @dianmegan – does that explain my ex calling from Guam!?

    • mcakez: Taste the Passion! says:

      LIKE ARE YOU SERIOUSLY FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW? WHAT A HEINOUS BITCH.

    • Very Proud of the Heart I Drew says:

      She might as well have written “does that explain my ex, John & Cindy MCCAIN’S son Jack MCCAIN, calling from Guam!?”
      There is NO WAY she can think she could fool anyone with this bullshit. Does she really have so little shame that to her, it’s worth it to be seen as a manipulative, passive aggressive psychopath as long as everyone on twitter knows JACK MCCAIN called her? Or is she so narcissistic she thinks people can’t see right through her?

  49. Pv says:

    Lol retard nobody said this was journalism

  50. bitchface says:

    More proof that Julia Allison is just off (in the head). From her blaugh on Cancer Dan:

    “I am endlessly grateful for him, his beautiful fiancee Lesley, and their impending marriage. This world is blessed to have him in it and I am blessed to have known him – and to continue knowing him.”

    She is grateful for their impending marriage? Her therapist (HaHa) would have months sorting thru that one alone. And using past tense then making it stick out “Wait, I’m not dead yet!” (from Monty Python bring out yer dead)….

    awkward!

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