A Collection of Disturbing Photographs

Look at the look on Greasy’s face, and the body language, in these photos. Seems it’s true what our little birdies have told us — he thinks she’s completely ridiculous, and has even griped about her habit of showing up to stay at various victims’ houses with her dog in tow without asking them beforehand if it’s OK, and then disappearing all day while they’re left dealing with her dog. Donk, he’s just not that into you, but he finds you entertaining in that whole “can you believe this crazy chick with the fake hair?” kind of way, and he likes your social connections. Oh honey.

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244 Responses to A Collection of Disturbing Photographs

  1. Orwell-Style Cyberpolice Force says:

    Everyone there is completely dressed down. Doesn’t she feel out of place in her ugly Vegas hooker dress? I bet it’s from bebe… lol

    • Aggressively Stupid (Does that help?) says:

      Probably not. She probably thought, “Thank god I’m more dressed up than everyone else. Now everyone will look at me.”
      She has a seriously pathological need for attention.

    • BJ KELLY says:

      Probably not. This looks like a stereotypical college house party at IU. Boys wear their finest polos and t-shirts with jeans or ‘good’ basketball shorts while girls wear their slinkiest and shortest dresses and heels. She fits in with all the 20-year olds.

  2. Life_Is_Unfair says:

    …not gonna do it…

  3. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    Being in dire need of a root canal doesn’t seem to have hampered her hinged jaw at all.

    • Edward R. Burro says:

      LOL.
      And my god, STILL with the sausage curls. She is hanging on to that style like grim death.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Also antibiotics + booze is not a good idea for someone who’s delaying necessary dental work.

      I presume she must have been lying about that shit, but why? Why¿

  4. Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

    I love in the whole collection of photos, most of them are being photo bombed because obviously, Taylor is not the only one that finds her UDDERLY (see what I did there?) redonkulous.

  5. LEFOOLIEH says:

    First of all… what is this… I don’t even…
    Second of all, the frequency of ~*boys*~ photobombing her pics speaks volumes. Sure, photobombs can happen when one is drink and feeling like being a douchecanoe in the moment, but multiple people who hardly even know you doing so repeatedly? Pretty sure they saw through el burro and probably got a REAL good rundown of her crazy before she showed up. I have mild canklehausen flaring up, because this reeks so much of “look, the asshole I’ve been telling you about has arrived” and she thinks everyone loves her… when sadly, she’s the joke.

    • Edward R. Burro says:

      These pictures make me sad for her, just a little bit. Then again, I just flounced off GOMI for defending Jordan so I guess I’m in a pitying mood.

      • LEFOOLIEH says:

        Yeah, I feel like even her expressions are “off”. It’s like she KNOWS she’s a joke and perhaps the veracity of this recent job firing has something to do with it. Her “smug” face isn’t even full force as it usually is, she is not smizing and she’s sadly asking guys to dip and carry her for photos. I don’t know that I feel BAD for her really, because she’s a total asshole, but I do feel embarrassed for her. She’s trying so hard and people are just not buying what she’s selling as easily and effortlessly (for her) as they used to. She is giving so much cougar while lacking the hot factor and it’s painful to watch. She just looks desperate as hell.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          If only there was something, anything that she could do differently. OH WAIT THERE IS SHE JUST DOESN’T DO IT.

          I am saving my pities for people who are trapped in Hells that are not of their own making. She built every pink inch of her current personal Hell herself.

          • Edward R. Burro says:

            I know, you guys are right. I guess it’s more second-hand embarassment than feeling bad for her.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            You have a warm heart, ERB.

            Still sociopath-free, I hope? We’ve got coffee and muffins and sobriety chips!

          • LEFOOLIEH says:

            Albie, GWURL, I know (and hope you feel better, just read about your bronchitis) – but this is like if you had a friend just making a fool of herself and and remaining completely unaware of it, then desperately wanting to pull her aside and be all “SNAP OUT OF IT” buuuuut… she brought it on herself and she’s actually kind of an asshole. So, um, *slinking away sloooowly*

        • Edward R. Burro says:

          Albie, I am still sociopath free but I have to say this week has been really hard and I’ve been obsessing way too much. I’m just really sad right now and I guess my pity party is spilling over to include Donkey and Jordan.

          Sorry about your bronchitis! I hope you feel better.

          • LEFOOLIEH says:

            STAY STRONG, ERB. Socios will do nothing but drain you and you’ve done so well. Just focus on other things and honestly pat yourself on the back for having been able to distance yourself as much as you have. It isn’t easy, but you can do it.

          • Edward R. Burro says:

            Thanks, LEFOOLIEH. I do appreciate all the encouragement I’ve received here.

          • Jane says:

            It’s ok to be sad. Just DON’T GO BACK.
            Did you make a list? Read it. If not… make one!

          • Edward R. Burro says:

            Jane, I won’t go back but the sadness has been a little overwhelming at times.

          • Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

            You can’t believe it now but it will go away. I’ve been there. Also, I have tons of fake email addresses so if you want one, I can talk you down, just let me know.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            I have been there and it was super hard for me (we did the off-and-on for months after the breakup) so I feel your pain.

          • Axis II, Cluster B says:

            you rang?

            I’m sorry, though. I’ve had extensive experience with socios and they really know how to break your heart. :(

        • mcakez: Taste the Passion! says:

          I do not agree. She still looks smug as hell. Which makes the photobombing even funnier. Hint: Donkzilla, they are photobombing you because you are taking a million fucking pictures of yourself. Duh.

      • diluted brain says:

        I don’t ever read GOMI but just went to see what you were talking about. For what it’s worth, I don’t think you were wrong at all. I don’t really follow Jordan anymore but don’t get the bashing. She’s pretty harmless. I see nothing wrong with people wanting to leave the city because they are starting their family.
        Donkey hating, I get — all of those comments, I didn’t.

        • Edward R. Burro says:

          Thanks. I thought i was the only one. I get that Jordan has a dumb, shilltastic blog but I think calling her baby a “genetic mistake” is a little much.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            I didn’t dig that particular comment so much, but it wouldn’t surprise me if partypants’s nerves were a bit on edge after the GIANT MORMON SWARM O’ RAGE the other day.

          • Edward R. Burro says:

            I do regret telling a random commenter to go fuck herself though. I got a little braygy at her telling me to get off the internet for saying PP’s comment was a little harsh.

            Albie, I don’t know about that. PP pretty much doubled down on her comment and said that Jordan and Kendrick shouldn’t have kids. I just don’t get the leap from making fun of Jordan;s rooftop photoshoots to saying she shouldn’t breed.
            I’m not as interested in GOMI anyway, so I doubt I’ll be over there again. I just don’t care about Jessica Quirk as much as the rest of GOMI does.

          • LEFOOLIEH says:

            I don’t read GOMI all that often for personal reasons, but I straight up can not give a fuck about most of the subjects. I get on the internet for GOOD entertainment, not in search of something that’s going to annoy me. Some of the people may be asshats, but it doesn’t really get close to JA at all. And that’s kind of boring, because assholes are all over the place. DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. I don’t even give a rat’s about Quirk and (to my discredit), I’m the one that said “yeah, write more about her… people seem to like that”. I am not that people.

          • mcakez: Taste the Passion! says:

            I didn’t have a problem with the comment itself (because, of course, I am the same person who caused a shit storm with the terms ‘fucktrophy’ and ‘cuntnugget,’ so anti-breeder sentiment doesn’t really raise my hackles.)

            However, I do think the insane outrage and insults thrown at you were totally over-the-top and unwarranted.

          • ERB: You’re not the only person who has left GOMI recently. Seems like Partypants’s party line is alienating people.

      • Tribune Slingbacks says:

        I flounced off GOMI months and months ago for the same reason, and sometimes Julia gives me the sads. I still like Jordan, but if you’re anything like me you’ll probably recover from your Donk pity pretty quickly.

        • Edward R. Burro says:

          I will definitely recover. After all, just this morning I was ranting at how obnoxious she is to drop in on people unannounced in the morning and thinking she’s cute for being two hours late to a party. I find JA to be pretty endlessly fascinating and disturbing but I don’t get the interest in the people that GOMI covers. I don’t care about Quirk at all and I’m kind of baffled by the interest she inspires. I’m definitely mocked Jordan in the past for her silliness but today went over the top for me.

          • Edward R. Burro says:

            All I have to do is think of Tucker Max and all of my pity for Donkey will disappear.

          • Tribune Slingbacks says:

            Yeah, I don’t really get it either. Julia’s really the only internet trainwreck I need in my life, and she’s way more entertaining than anyone on GOMI.

          • Effervescent Suppositories says:

            Julia is the one most likely to go completely off the deep end in a ball of flames. Most of the other GOMI subjects are completely dull.

        • JFA says:

          Alright I’ll be the lone voice sticking up for PP, I think she’s pretty much a comedic genius and very talented, I love the Quirk pile-on, I think her blog is both fun and a welcome addition to the internets, and if you are that butthurt about some rando comment about Jordan’s spawn that the bitch will never read, you probably shouldn’t be on a snark blog to begin with. Carry on.

          PP can certainly fight her own battles/probably doesn’t give a shit but I don’t see why it’s necessarily to continue this shit on here.

          • Edward R. Burro says:

            You can go fuck yourself too. You and PP are both bitter cunts.

          • Edward R. Burro says:

            Also? I wasn’t butthurt. My comment was incredibly mild. I said it was a little harsh. You and PP both need some perspective. But god forbid, someone doesn’t agree with the both of you all the time. People who don’t agree with you are still allowed on the internet.

          • Sgatniks says:

            There there ERB…Dr. Gary sent me over with some sammiches, a few vicodins and a bottle of cough medicine to help you forget about all this.

          • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

            Um. . . wow, that genetic mistake comment and PP’s defense of it was way out of line. And I don’t even know who 90% of the people GOMI write about are anymore. Remember Adriend? Pocketgay was fun.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            And really? They are assholes and sorry excuses for human beings because, like a million other young expectant couples in the U.S., they want to move to the burbs and get a fixer-upper? What am I missing about the hatred there for her? I don’t read her blog every day but when I do she seems a harmless lifestyle blogger like a million others. She isn’t mean, psycho or a weasel. Her blog has content and can actually be interesting. She seems to have genuine, lifelong friendships and seems like a good friend and daughter to the people in her life. I don’t get it and I think it’s gone way too far given she’s about to pop her first kid. I might even let up on JA in similar circumstances, but I am a bit of a softie on all things related to kids.

            And can anyone really blame her for not wanting them to get hold of her kid’s name? Jesus, it’s her first-born.

            Don’t hate me because I don’t hate Jordan or Mary or really any other blogger but JA. She is the only nasty, demented, chronically lying psycho in the mix as far as I can tell.

          • mcakez: Never Go Full-Wildenstein says:

            Dude, considering how butt-tickled you get about just about anything, you might want to throw those stones on the floor instead of in that glass house in which you’re standing.

            Disagreeing with something pp says is not a crime against the internet. ERB said she thought something was taken a little too far, people jumped her shit. She has made the decision not to read anymore. Her behavior is reasonable, the shit-jumpers’ behavior is far from.

          • LEFOOLIEH says:

            It seems like you hardly know her, which is probably a good thing. You’d change your tune entirely if you were aware that she was formerly (and I wouldn’t be shocked if she still is) on regular speaking terms with one Jackass Ball-lick Albertson.

          • Edward R. Burro says:

            Sgatniks, Can Dr. Gary send some Xanax instead? Vicodin doesn’t really do it for me.

            Sorry, guys. I didn’t mean to start a drama. I thought my original comment was so mild that no one would care. It does make me irrationally angry to be told to get off the internet by people who think “genetic mistake” is acceptable but a difference of opinion is not.

          • Tribune Slingbacks says:

            Amen, Jacy.

          • featherbrained says:

            LeFooliah, I think the entire Jordan post is out of line and I stand by Burro. I think PP’s comment was below the belt and unnecessary. PP and JA are not on speaking terms unless you count 3 skype chats, some of which YOU were on, over a year ago.

          • LEFOOLIEH says:

            I was invited to a JA skype chat and pointedly did not join in on it. I have never BEEN on one with the asshole, and I never would be because I simply find her THAT heinous. Seriously, pick a skype chat that she infested that I was part of and point it out. If you’re talking about her coming into CHAT itself, yeah, I wasn’t really “part” of those either, I was dealing with the BS that upset the normality there, I didn’t call her into the situation and I need not say who did.

          • featherbrained says:

            Then I don’t know who was. I never talked to JA either. I was always WAAAAY to embarrassed to get involved in something like that. Apologies, fooliah. Listen, I do think some things at GOMI have gotten out of hand.

          • LEFOOLIEH says:

            I heart you and miss you FB, but I am so completely dunzo with PP personally after her nonsensical fuckery. Below the belt and completely unnecessary, despite my turning it into a running joke for months afterward.

          • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

            Also I hate to stoke the fire, but that Mormon modesty post bothered me a bit as well. I’m not religious, but I can respect someone’s religious convictions. No reason to make fun of them just because they don’t slut it up for God.

          • JFA says:

            I’m not defending everything she says or that comment. I just really don’t see the point of rehashing here. Jesus. That’s all I meant. It seemed like an offhand remark and if you are
            Offended by it that’s fine but I don’t get the pile on here.

          • JFA says:

            Also I never said it was a fucking crime against the internet. My main point was that I don’t see why this shit should get rehashed here. I dont’ really know PP personally, I don’t read all her posts, I don’t agree with everything she says, but I think it’s retarded to rehash this crap here.

            Burro, you can fuck right off as well. I mostly ignore you because you are boring. Is this high school? Disagree with something if you want but to bring it up here again in a ploy for sympathy is pretty lame IMO. Pardon me for liking GOMI and RBD and being sick of the cross-blog drama.

            If everyone is going to pile up on my fucking ass I will flounce. I don’t need this shit.

          • mcakez: Taste the passion! says:

            Don’t let the door strike you on the pear, and all that.

          • JFA says:

            Fuck you mcakes. Seriously. Don’t you have some bullshit about Burning Man to spew that no one gives a crap about? This didn’t fucking involve you.

          • JFA says:

            All I fucking did was add my voice to a pile on and say I liked GOMI and PP and I thought the drama should be kept off this blog. How that devolves into people calling me a bitter cunt and telling me to go fuck myself is beyond me.

          • mcakez: Taste the passion! says:

            Don’t you have a dating site you could be furiously refreshing right now? Tick tock, sweetie. Those eggs ain’t gonna fertilize themselves! :*

          • JFA says:

            Right. Because making fun of someones baby is obviously out of line but allusions to my biological clock are fair game.

          • New Year New You says:

            Um, how or why does whatever difference of opinion over a comment on another blog, and people’s personal beef with PP devolve into trashing other commenters? No need for this level of nastiness, not cool at all.

          • juliaspublicist says:

            OK, both of you stop it.

          • mcakez: Taste the passion! says:

            I don’t have a problem with the baby comments. Hello? Girl who told someone to abort next time here!

            I do have a problem with anyone who voices the slightest unease on GOMI getting their asses handed to them by a rabid ‘quit the internets’ brigade. Especially when the ‘criticism’ levied is usually so mild, and the response is disproportionately vitrolic.

          • mcakez: Taste the passion! says:

            Fucking phone. Gar. Anyway, I have no problem with your bio-clock. Was just dishing back.

          • JFA says:

            My response was not vitriolic. Read it again. I didnt even comment on gomi aboit it. But thanks for using something personal and painful against me for no good reason. That had absolutely nothing to do w anything.

          • cakez says:

            *yawn*

  6. If you can't UNDERSTAND it says:

    She looks evil and crazy and gross.

  7. If you can't UNDERSTAND it says:

    How gross must it feel to have your hand under her ham hock legs, like in that last photo. She is so powerfully unattractive, to the point of being boner-killing gross. The thought of her lying in bed, like a nude hairless mole with green vaginal skin tags, crying, is just beyond horrifying. I don’t understand how she gets anyone to fuck her.

    • Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

      Booze…. men must beer goggle the shit out of her.

      • LEFOOLIEH says:

        Well, also… she appears to be easy annnnd she’s not HORRIBLE looking compared to “anything one can get”. Certain men will lower their standards entirely for that which doesn’t require work, but they’ll still want SOME visual. That’s where donkey stands. Also, yes, beer goggles.

    • solidarity cat says:

      “powerfully unattractive.” I like that.

      • Julia Allison Is Guilty Of Bonercide says:

        Like a poofy Michael Jackson who rarely showers.

        • mcakez: Taste the Passion! says:

          Aww. Poofy… I miss Russian Girl. I hope she at least found the perfect goat and settled down with an infinite supply of vodka and condoms.

          • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

            Russian Girl is doing just fine. She found a new job letting Russian alcoholics suck vodka out of her nipples for sustenance.

          • mcakez: Never Go Full-Wildenstein says:

            Will she ever come visit the litterbox again?

            Poofy is not so fat now, but she still desperate fame jockey.

    • Sgatniks says:

      You rang?

  8. Can-Swiss says:

    Where are these from? Is she posting these to facebook? Are they at a highschool party? WTF?

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Facebook. Greasy’s birthday party. The tiny nerd is named Josh Forman, and he’s A Donkey’s newest FB friend.

      There is an amazing photo of her posing sluttiliciously with a stocky douchebro who’s wearing a fake mustache (BZZT!), bow tie (BZZT!), and cobalt-blue Toms shoes (BZZT! BZZT! BZZT!)

      • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

        josh forman is someone she’s known since high school. he founded that company inkling that she advertised in one of her social studies columns (RIP!).

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Weird, then, that she just added him on FB but maybe she was reshuffling her list?

          So he’s a tiny nerd who’s used to her shenanigans, just like the Dan formerly known as Cancer. Sweet for her.

          • LEFOOLIEH says:

            I think he’s an ex that she talks to, like, everyday.

          • LEFOOLIEH says:

            Also also, he was in that pic where she had a drink that she was not drinking, #whilst wearing Jack’s belt (RIP as well)

          • Albie Quirky says:

            An ex? My god, did she date every tiny nerd who went to New Trier? I guess that’s what happens when you’re the Sweetheart of the Debate Team.

          • LEFOOLIEH says:

            She dated whoever would worship her at the time. Her “debate team” status that she loves calling up to prove her intellect was completely screwed by her admission that she sucked and used diversion tactics when her turn came. So-called “nerds” can do the worship pretty well, but she also had her original nose back then, and was probably a little more humble (but still entitled) so…. whatever. I don’t really think HE would go back there. He’ll carry her in photos, but I don’t think he’d go back to dating her, and if nothing else the shit-eating grin is because he may know she’s desperate but he’s MOVED ON and he isn’t going there. He is attractive to her because they had a past (and she hates letting go of that) and now he’s a FOUNDER which, you know, automatically means FU Money, and Julia is a catch! Oh, wait.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            He’s adorbs and probably has tiny ‘n’ cutes falling all over him. (Or Amazonian roller derby/librarian types, which is what I often see paired with the tiny adorable nerds.)

          • Albie Quirky says:

            But it’s funny that she always picks the littlest guys for the “pick me UP!” shenanigans, but of course they’re the ones who may have something to prove.

            My huscat (6’2″ nerd, as played by a younger Jeff Goldblum) just looked over my shoulder and said “Why is that man carrying that woman? Did she break something? Like her mind?”

            I explained to him that it was the girl from the Sony commercial that he thought was part of their outreach strategy to the special-needs community*, and he was all “I’m glad to see you’re using your Robotripping wisely.”

            *He actually thought this.

  9. Jack the Burning Bulldog says:

    The zipper getup, the sausage curls, the goofy visage–all remind me of a stripper getting ready to give Greaser a lap dance he’ll never forget, particularly when he finds out she’s sporting a wiener.

  10. Albie Quirky says:

    It’s nice to see Greasy with his mouth closed for a change. Business school is making a difference already!

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

      greasy’s actually not in business school, he’s in a civil&environmental engineering master’s program.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        Didn’t she say that Greasy was going to business school? Or was that just a typo on Tigernet? Because I can’t believe I made that up myself.

        WHEE I AM HIGH AS A KITE ON CODEINE COUGH SYRUP
        THERE IS NOTHING LIKE HAVING MOTHERFUCKING BRONCHITIS ON THE ONLY 85-DEGREE OCTOBER DAY

        • Edward R. Burro says:

          Yeah, I could have sworn she said Stanford B School.

        • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

          i assumed he was, earlier, but i don’t think it was ever explicitly stated. but he is in C&EE for a master’s.

  11. Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

    she’s so SMUG!
    those shoes! jeffrey campbell, stop giving this donkey shoes!
    also, what is going on in the background of pic #2?

    • Orwell-Style Cyberpolice Force says:

      Yeah, why does she always look so smug when she’s at a party? Goes to show how few she actually goes to when she gets all crazy excited just being around other people. Poor thing.

    • Norse Horse, Literally says:

      SO smug. Especially that ass-clenching pic #3. That expresh on her face seems to me, Yoo-hoo Jack, I’m doing fiiine. There often seems to be something aggro, a bit of a hostile agenda, when she posts pictures of herself having “fun”, especially with the mens. Strenuous, and yeah so smug.

    • JFA says:

      Those fucking shoes. She has single-handedly ruined platform stilletos for me, for life. Honestly. Also god forbid she wears fucking shoes she can walk in for one night? How insecure do you have to be that you cannot go anywhere without fuck me pumps on? She probably looks like such a fool walking around in those. They are not comfortable. And they look stupid. Pink, really? I can’t.

  12. Julie's Facial Hair says:

    It looks like someone brought their mom to that party.

  13. Orwell-Style Cyberpolice Force says:

    But really, look at that first pic. You can see her molars. Her fucking molars. My God. MY GOD.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      THAT is how it was determined on a Sunday that Donkey needed a root canal, her ortho who doesn’t even perform root canals looked at gaping maw fauxtos.

    • LEFOOLIEH says:

      She always tries to show that she’s having the BEST! TIME! EVERRRR! (which is probably meant for exes or dates that cut it short ASAP) and it always comes out looking like someone desperately trying to show they’re having fun. It’s depressing, for real.

      • pearipathetic donkey says:

        Yeah, its all for show. We have seen how weird and awkward she can be at parties (Taryn Southern’s Bday, LA Halloween party with Shira). She’s still just a dork with a big nose from New Trier who can’t sit with the cool kids at lunch.

        • LEFOOLIEH says:

          I feel like she’s weird because she can’t recognize that it’s really NOT THAT HARD to look like you’re having a good time if you actually are. To your average person all these CLEARLY stage shots look ridiculous. Yeah, we’re all totally on board with some dude saying “jump in my arms and lets take a pic!” or “let me dip you, and let’s capture it!”. She doesn’t even get it.

          • mcakez: Taste the Passion! says:

            See, considering the frequency of her posts like this, she has to be requesting the dudes to do this.

            I have one picture of myself being dipped, somewhere out there, and it is actually a candid. She has, like, fifty. I do not think I have a single picture of some dude picking me up, and she has, like, one hundred. This is just not typical behavior, and there is nothing casual or fun about it. She is asking these guys to do these things, and then asking someone to take the picture. It is fucking lunatic behavior.

            AND SHE IS 30 FUCKING YEARS OLD!

          • mcakez: Taste the Passion! says:

            See, considering the frequency of her posts like this, she has to be requesting the dudes to do this.

            I have one picture of myself being dipped, somewhere out there, and it is actually a candid. She has, like, fifty. I do not think I have a single picture of some dude picking me up, and she has, like, one hundred. This is just not typical behavior, and there is nothing casual or fun about it. She is asking these guys to do these things, and then asking someone to take the picture. It is fucking lunatic behavior.

            AND SHE IS 30 FUCKING YEARS OLD! The picture of me being dipped was from when I was 20, we got into a bar that didn’t card, and I wound up dancing with a 65 year old grizzled old regular. The picture was taken with someone else’s camera. This is normal young adult behavior… asking multiple guys to dip you/lift you and snap shots with your own camera is NOT. Especially at 30.

            Jesus.

          • mcakez: Taste the Passion! says:

            Ooops. Sorry for the duplicate comment. So sats, so fads.

            Also, though, I wonder how long she had to pose with Greason to get that ‘candid’ dip photo? Or how many times she had the photographer retake it? I can’t even imagine witnessing this and not knowing instantly that she is fucking mental.

      • Norse Horse, Literally says:

        And the worst is, she is clearly in mid-bray in this picture, just imagine the eardrum-shattering noise happening from her gluten-free cakehole. No wonder Greasy looks so pained.

      • JFA says:

        So much this. Honestly these photos make her look completely unhinged…not that that’s new, but something about the getup and her age and her hair and her sweatiness…it’s not going well folks.

  14. Lily's 3rd Rage Virus Test says:

    Ouch. I feel sorry for her.

  15. AssBaughers Syndrome (nee Sparkly Wizard Sleeve) says:

    She has cheese noodle knees. I have those shoes but I wore them only to go to an Earth, Wind & Fire concert.

  16. New Year New You says:

    1) Is she drank?
    2) Is there sugar in that drank?
    3) Is she on methadone?
    4) I can literally smell the desperation coming from these photos.

    • LEFOOLIEH says:

      I am commenting too much, but…

      1) probably
      2) YEP
      3) um, IDK
      4) yes. HORRIBLY. Gwurl needs to learn that this will not make exes jealous and wanting you back. Ugh. Stop, already.

  17. diluted brain says:

    I can’t imagine being a friend or random bystander witnessing this photo op. It’s not like some dude would pick her up to dance and someone happened to be there to take a picture. It’s all so tacky & bizarre. No wonder she gets these dudes photo bombing the pics.

    Oh and donkey, you look about 50 years old. 50 year olds don’t dress like that and wear that much makeup. Truth.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      This is true. I am 47 and would be embarrassed to look that haggard and/or mutton-dressed-as-lamb in a picture taken at a party. She’s going the Full Wildenstein there.

      • DirtyLakeMichigan says:

        Word!

      • mcakez: Never Go Full-Wildenstein says:

        I love “Full Wildenstien” — in fact, I think I might yoink it for a bit, though I know in my heart I will eventually go back to ‘Taste the Passion!”

  18. Bouncing Little Burro says:

    Meh – looks like typical party pics. I’ll give her a pass for that one. I’m still waiting for her Valley Girl show, and what Orthodontistgate ’11 was all about.

    • LEFOOLIEH says:

      NO, BLB, DON’T GO TOWARD THE LIGHT! But seriously, typical party pics? I’d venture to guess that you would never ask dudes to hoist you up like they’re lifting you over the threshold unless you were batshit. And if you are, that’s cool, because you’re cool, but I’m pretty sure you’d never do that. If Julier were taking boring random pics (or hadn’t been preceded by a backstory or presented herself as the donkey she is), I doubt so much photobomb would be happening. It is definitely being done for a reason beyond spontaneous assholery.

      • DirtyLakeMichigan says:

        Silly, silly lefoolieh!!! The lifting is to show how tiney and cute she is! I don’t think anyone’s ‘lifted’ me since I was 3 years old.

    • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

      If that’s your idea of a party pic for a 30 year old then you must be a complete and total slut.

  19. Meow_Mix says:

    Her facebook comments on these photos are all of her complaining about people photobombing her. Donkey, the fratbros in the background are photobombing you because they think you are a ridiculous tool and because they’re making fun of you. Social cues! I wasn’t even at the party and I can tell that, and so can anyone who is sane.

    I lurve that tipsters keep sending in juicy tidbits! Keep it up!

    • CaptainGary says:

      Two things — in her comments on these pics on FB (which are the ONLY comments, for the most part – so sad), she uses the word “photobomb” so much she sounds like an old who JUST learned the term.

      And second, as a reformed fratbrah (hey, I went to a liberal arts school in the Midwest with no social scene outside of the frats! Shut up!), I know for a fact that the number of times she got bombed means she was getting made fun of the entire night. Trust me. I know. And the funny thing is – everyone knows that except here. She just has to post photos of herself having OMGTHEBESTTIMEEVAR, no matter if the mockery behind her is palpable, not to mention ENTIRELY VISIBLE.

      • Effing Ineffably Un-Effable says:

        Cosign as fratbrah in college.. that means people are giving you shit. If you get your photos back & over 50% are bombed, you were being followed and people were watching for opportunities to ridicule. (And yes, I can and did actively follow one guy one night for the purpose of bombing most every photo he was in.)

    • mcakez: Never Go Full-Wildenstein says:

      Here’s the thing, here’s the thing! If you don’t like the photobombing going on? Don’t post the pictures. They were intentionally spoiling your photos and mocking you — hit the learn button, not the send button.

  20. Edward R. Burro says:

    How many photographs of herself does she need? I will never understand this about her. If I had a super power it would be the ability to avoid being photographed at all social gatherings.

    • wonkeye says:

      She takes more photos of herself in a week than I have had taken in a lifetime. I don’t get it either. But then I don’t stuff my face with fillers or glue hairy bits onto my scalp either. It’s like she’s another species.

  21. Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

    OT but for your Sunday reading pleasure, two articles I’ve never read before about our favorite donkey:

    http://blog.georgetownvoice.com/2009/06/01/on-the-record-julia-allison-col-04/

    http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/articles/27944/hoya-sexa

    • Edward R. Burro says:

      I never saw the one from the City Paper. Love her subtle mention of Playboy wanting to work with her. She really thought she was hot shit didn’t she?

    • AFGHANI says:

      My favorite Georgetown story involves the 8 dollar grapefruit. Mostly bc that whole scenario includes so many Donk-traits. Petty/cheapness, compulsive lying, lack of self perception, and shameless famewhoring.

  22. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    The Raftass, UNpixelated
    [img]http://i56.tinypic.com/ms26gh.png[/img]

    • Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

      wow, why force someone to do that pose with you if you are then going to come off looking so uncomfortable and AWKWARD….

    • Tribune Slingbacks says:

      When I was a teenager, boys would pick me up a lot (I’m pretty small and I guess they were showing off how manly and strong they were). It was really, really obnoxious. I can’t imagine not only liking it but also forcing someone to take a photo. Nasty.

      • Pancakes with a side of Pancakes with a side of Heaven and Hell Souffle says:

        I’m 5ft and guys pick me up all the time and I hate it! Mostly because I’m heavier than I look, and I cringe anytime some guy goes in for the pick up. Fucking keep me on the ground where I belong. There’s no way I would let someone document that going on.

        • Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

          Your user name is sublime.

        • mcakez: Never Go Full-Wildenstein says:

          My poor Honda coupe has a dent on every panel, none of which are my doing. Except one, that was inadvertently my fault: my ex was fireman carrying me, went to put me down, didn’t realize there was a concrete parking bumper where he was trying to place me, which caused me to tumble and land on my butt, slamming the back of my head into my front panel in the process, leaving a noggin-sized dent.

          I am pretty sure he never picked me up again, and it forever made a good excuse to prevent others from trying. My noggin is the destroyer of cars!

  23. KashMoney says:

    SHE’S OUTDONE HERSELF.

    it’s off-the-deep-end Barbie

    [IMG]http://i53.tinypic.com/15rz8ur.jpg[/IMG]

  24. KashMoney says:

    [img]http://i53.tinypic.com/15rz8ur.jpg[/img]

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

      what in the fuckity FUCK? why?! is she escorting for furry enthusiasts?! is this for the reality show?
      exclamation point!

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        NOBODY will ever convince me that she’s not making her flying around $$ off of Escort Service gigs. Anyone else notice the men’s shoe polisher in the background?

        • I cried, too, for I only had a mere $10,000 in the bank says:

          I thought it was some kind of sex toy. This outfit is a nice contrast w/ her horrid skirt, pearls and sweater combo whilst playing happy families in Illinois.

    • Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

      This is just WOW. Wow. How Dave Morin and Brit Morin must be howling behind her back. Julia, grow up. You look like a desperate whore. Good lord.

    • Orwell-Style Cyberpolice Force says:

      ?????????????

    • I cried, too, for I only had a mere $10,000 in the bank says:

      What in the hell is going on here? Is this photo public? Is she trying to give someone a boner? Is she crazy?

      • I cried, too, for I only had a mere $10,000 in the bank says:

        This pic might top this one….

        • I cried, too, for I only had a mere $10,000 in the bank says:

          [img][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/wfcnZ.jpg[/IMG][/img]

          • Orwell-Style Cyberpolice Force says:

            let me see if this works

            [img]http://i.imgur.com/wfcnZ.jpg[/img]

          • I cried, too, for I only had a mere $10,000 in the bank says:

            Fracking hell.

          • Orwell-Style Cyberpolice Force says:

            I feel like we’ve sen this one before…. or is it new?

          • I cried, too, for I only had a mere $10,000 in the bank says:

            Thanks Orwell, so close, yet so grossly and inappropriately far.

          • AFGHANI says:

            PromKing (recent law grad about 4 yrs younger than Julia) booked a hotel room for them for Valentines Day (or V Day weekend). Julia brayed about it in all sorts of weird ways, as if she was throwing it in people’s face that she was having sex with her newest wallet.

          • mcakez: Never Go Full-Wildenstein says:

            @AFF — It was more like she was humblebragging about finally giving it up, since she was doing her whole ’11 dates’ shtick, still. She didn’t want to fuck the guy, but since she was milking his wallet she had to give it up eventually, so she made a big deal about how she finally unlocked the clam dungeon door to let the right one in.

            She had to be so coy to prove that it was romantic and meaningful and sensual and cost a lot of money.

            She really ought to drop the bogus routine and just call herself a call girl. What she does is prostitotion anyway. I wonder what Tucker Max would post about her, were she at all relevant to him?

        • I cried, too, for I only had a mere $10,000 in the bank says:

          This is from the Prom Date days.

    • tonyamichaela says:

      I can’t believe she’ll never become Mrs. McCain and meet Kate Middleton! She should just be a stripper. She already has the fake eyelashes, the bad fake hair, and plenty of stripper outfits. That way, she could finally have a real job and satisfy her pathological need for attention. The hours would probably be flexible, so she could keep sleeping until noon everyday!

    • BunnyBingo says:

      O mah gawd.

    • Bouncing Little Burro says:

      OMG haaaaaaaaaa WHERE is she? WHAT? WHY???!!!

  25. flotsam says:

    That studious, slightly pensive look she gets when staring into the void iPhone while taking mirror shots really ups the pathos on this one.

  26. If you can't UNDERSTAND it says:

    She looks like the mask from “V for Vendetta” in that second one.

  27. It Is To Vom says:

    OT, but if Donkey was so into Burning Man, why didn’t she go to any of the Decomps? It’s going down in SF right now.

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

      she twatted that that is where she is going, dressed in those chewbacca boots.

      • It Is To Vom says:

        Arghghgh!! So sorry so fat!! that pic didn’t load when I scanned through the post on my phone. We’re in the same place yet again.

  28. Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

    EPIC – on her twatter: JuliaAllison Just ran into Jakob Lodwick. Like seeing a ghost.

    Ooooo, I HOPE WE HEAR MORE ABOUT THIS!!!!

    • Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

      AND HE’S ENGAGED!!!!!!

      COMMENCE MELT DOWN!!!!!

      (She might not know… but he is!)

    • Dyspeptic says:

      And she must have been wearing that…that…chewbacca stripper barbie getup when she ran into Lodwick. Oh, to have been a fly on that wall.

      • Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

        It seems kinda suspect that she ran into him… I wonder if she keeps tabs on him and knew he would be there.

        • Andy Whorehol says:

          If it DID happen, you know the inner-dialogue/laughter/sheer disgust going off in Jakob’s brain had he encountered her ‘dressed’ in that state must’ve been priceless. The guy will literally go to his grave being linked to Julia Allison in internet eternity/Hell. That’s gotta fuck with a guy’s head, especially one like him.

          That said, what in the fuck is wrong with her, going out dressed like that IN PUBLIC? I don’t care how hot she thinks she looks; unless you’re a professional dancer, a public sex worker or a Vegas showgirl, you have no redeemable reason to strut your over 30-year-old ass around in such a grotesque get-up.

          She wonders why she can’t bag a man of any substance for a relationship of any substance? This photo would do well to serve as Exhibit A.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          On that note, anyone know if [Redacted] goes to Burning Man & Decom every year? Could that explain why Donkey has had a hard on for BM & blew off Billow & Paris is a blaze of pants-burning glory when she finally wheedled a chance to attend, in hopes of running into him?

    • mcakez: Never Go Full-Wildenstein says:

      Donkey’s brain: “Yes! Every girl dreams of this moment, running into the ex and being so hot and accomplished that you just know they regret not keeping you!”

      Jakob’s brain: “Bullet? Dodged.”

      • AFGHANI says:

        the j&j days were actually her professional peak, IMO. around that time she did the stupid magazine cover, a couple tv appearances a week, star mag job, TONY column, etc. steady income, seemingly in demand…. although braying loudly and oversharing to the max.

        all downhill since then. especially the NS bullshit and the canceled column

    • Sausage Snappers says:

      I can’t believe she’s surprised and playing the victim card at him running away from her (because stupidly tried to make contact after all she’s done). Relax, it was three years ago! Everyone has moved on but you!

  29. Flying Donkeycopter says:

    There is a nice twitter dispute between @ourmaninchicago and @cheeky_geeky about the event that the Donkey will be the MC at in Chicago as the Syndicated tech/media columnist for Social Studies. Also funny that Donkey uses the “weird. I’ve never met @ourmaninchicago” to dismiss why they find her a joke. Chicago is definitely on to her.

    • Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

      How does she get to say she’s a syndicated columnist when she’s been fired???

      • Flying Donkeycopter says:

        I wonder how she is going to spin that little detail.

      • The Manta says:

        How long did she use the byline ‘TONY Columnist’ and ‘NBC Correspondent’? She’s gonna ride TMS until the C&D letters arrive.

    • Dyspeptic says:

      Well, you know @ourmaninchicago would like Julia Allison if he met her. She’d be the first to tell him so.

      • Dyspeptic says:

        Also, by special Dadser Decree, you can only voice an opinion of Special Snowflake Julia on the internet if you have met her in the flesh. And even then, it better be positive. Expect your C&D in the morning, @ourmaninchicago, and I hear Jack McCain’s lawyers will be contacting your employers.

    • Marbury says:

      Scott Smith used to be in charge of digital for Tribune, and was online editor of Playboy.com, as well as a founding contributor to Chicagoist. He’s quite highly respected and accomplished, plus blindingly clever – of course Donkey has been unable to get near him. (He’s taken… not that this has ever stopped her.)

    • Ex Spurt says:

      That was actually quite an insightful little twitter exchange. @ourmaninchicago’s argument was very articulate, scathing even. Worth a read.

      Also, I liked this bit:
      ChicagoLeah Leah Jones
      @ourmaninchicago any event with her on a mic (other than as in audience with a question) has no credibility for me.

      Hilarious. How can Julia not be mortified? These are her professional peers (she wishes).

  30. If you can't UNDERSTAND it says:

    The last one reminds me of a paramedic carrying an old lady who’s slipped in the tub.

  31. Pink Ruffled Cheese says:

    Ok, this is probably the LEAST offensive aspect of these photos, but… Is Julia wearing that dress backwards? I have a special fondness for dresses that have zippers all the way up the back and have seen them everywhere. Zippers along the front are much more rare, I’d think, and the whole get-up looks kind of odd. Like, the neckline would be awkward and unflattering if zipped all the way up in the front.

    Any excuse to show off the cutlets, I guess.

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

      she’s worn this dress to fashion week before, apparently it’s supposed to have the zipper in the front.

  32. mcakez: Never Go Full-Wildenstein says:

    Okay, so she totally just invited herself along to hang out with Alexis (who hates her, right?) and Justine in LA. Then gushed about slumber party being ON! or some such shit.

    Why is she fucking checking her twitter stream at Decompression? What fun it must be to go to an event with Julia, who obo’s a massive outdoor rave for her twitter stream. Speaking of ‘go to an event with Julia’ did she go to Decom alone? Normally she would have name dropped whoever she attended with. So fucking sad.com.

  33. mcakez: Never Go Full-Wildenstein says:

    Okay, so bear with me here…

    Earlier this week she tweeted this: “Warming up Chris & @NatalieLent Bruss’ guest room tonight for Miss @MeaganMarks’ stay starting Thursday! It’s a party in Santa Monica. :)”

    Which is funny, because it shows that she probably just invited herself to stay on a moment’s notice, and was told she could only stay temporarily as MM had first dibs on the spare room. (Like they don’t have a couch?)

    Then she posted about driving up to visit at some ungodly hour… but driving from where? Did she ACTUALLY get a hotel for once? She must have, or she would have name-dropped where ever she was staying. Unless she was with a john, I guess.

    On an unrelated note: “Brunch in Russian Hill with @TaylorGreason, @Brit & @DaveMorin – and @PixelMorin the Puppy!! It’s a gorgeous day here in San Francisco. :)”

    She really just thinks brunch is a fancy word for getting food, doesn’t she? Fucking moron.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Also, Natalie Lent’s last name is Lent, not Bruss (her husband’s last name). It’s like Donkerina is getting Internet service from 1962 or something.

      • Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

        I’m sure all these newly weds love a donkey that stays out until 3am crashing at their place.

  34. mcakez: Never Go Full-Wildenstein says:

    Also! “Um … I’m in a lobster-caramelized-onions-gluten-free-mac-&-cheese coma thanks to Grub in the Mission. Zzzzz”

    Most pescatarians I know draw the line at things boiled alive, you fucking hick. Flash-freezing is very different than being bound and dumped into a steaming pot to be scalded to death. You just wuuuuuvs da wittwe animaws soooo much. So considerate.

  35. solidarity cat says:

    So much embarrassment in the space of a weekend! Yikes!

  36. Meow_Mix says:

    OMGGGG. Did anyone see the Lodwick post on her blergh?

    “I ran into Jakob Lodwick at SF’s Burning Man Decompression. The first time I’ve seen him in three years. He turned and ran – yes, ran – away. It was like seeing a ghost.

    Incredibly, unbelievably painful.”

    And she posted some video… listen to it in the context of Jakob dumping bunny boiler Julia because she was a psycho bunny boiler. Extremely creepy… incredibly, unbelievably creepy.
    Ugh. Julia, if your ex-boyfriend literally ran away from you, it is incredibly, unbelievably embarrassing to admit that to the entire internet. Also- you guys dated for a few months. This was almost five years ago, wasn’t it? Didn’t they get together at the end of ’06?
    One of the most canklehausen inducing Donkey traits is when she dates a guy for a few dates or a few months and takes possession over him for the rest of her life. Like, “Alex, my ex-boyfriend who I looked at rings with. James, my ex-fiance. Dan, my ex-prom date who dumped me right before prom fifteen years ago. Jack, whose home I shared for three nights.” If you’re not over your six-month relationship half a decade later, you need to go to fucking therapy, Julia. By all accounts (Gawker, Baugher’s tipsters, RBD), Jakob thought you were hot but a fucking joke and got rid of you once your idiocy was no longer cute. To still be opining about this years later is fucking sad. It’s not like he’s your ex-husband or even long-term boyfriend: you weren’t even together a year!! Ughhhh…. canklehausen!

    • Edward R. Burro says:

      More painful than being outed as bi-polar on Gawker? Bitch, please.

    • neverbotoxed says:

      It’s times like these when I find Juliar hilarious. Honestly, who in their right mind would post something like this?! It’s too bad she can’t buy some self awareness with Dadsers’ credit card.

      As for Jakob, I say good for you! And a completely justifiable reaction. Never the donkey (again)!

    • Tribune Slingbacks says:

      He ran away?!

      I ran into my ex (who I dated a whole lot longer than Julia did Jakob, and we split more recently) at an OWS meeting this weekend. We said hi and caught up. No one ran away. I didn’t blog about it.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      I think it was in Dec’ 07 that they dated, but still, THE STATUTE OF LIMITATIONS HAS EXPIRED, DONKEY! Just like your busted face.

      It’s mind-baughling to try & fathom how it works out in Donkey’s mind that SHE is the victim here, after what she did to this guy.

    • A-Game Content says:

      Wow.

      Also, doesn’t that also sort of prove that she’s not developing a new website? She’s just incredibly, unbelievably lazy about posting to her blergh.

    • Who do you think you are? says:

      Can’t watch the video right now but let me just note that I am FLOORED that she publicly admitted that this happened.

      • Ex Spurt says:

        Here’s the chorus

        But you didn’t have to cut me off
        Make out like it never happened
        And that we were nothing
        And I don’t even need your love
        But you treat me like a stranger
        And that feels so rough
        You didn’t have to stoop so low
        Have your friends collect your records
        And then change your number
        I guess that I don’t need that though
        Now you’re just somebody that I used to know

    • Sausage Snappers says:

      August 2007 – December 2007. Only remember that because that’s when I first started muh Tumblar and she had a meltdown at Christmas.

      It is totes embarrassing that she admitted he ran away from her.

    • AFGHANI says:

      “He turned and ran – yes, ran – away.”

      This is, of course, the credited response to that scenario. Bravo, Jake.

  37. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    JuliaAllison: “Stay hungry. Stay foolish.” -Steve Jobs

    Uhm, Donkey? In no way, you dumbass, was Jobs endorsing the faking of celiac disease for you to rationalize bingeing & purging your fluctuating raftass so that you can fit into prostitot costumes.

  38. Jimbo says:

    Damn, that is a great dress. I love how the zipper goes all the way down!

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