A Trip Down Memory Lane: The Last Time Donkey Had A Reality Show In The Offing

I have no reason to believe that Donk’s upcoming reality show on Bravo is anything other than a sure thing. We have heard from numerous tipsters that it’s real and it’s happening, with some speculating Tucker Max must be playing some kind of role as a nasty douchebag. In other words, playing himself. And given Donk was more excited that he paid $1,700 for her at some shit-ass book launch than she was offended that he joked about raping her, she’ll hopefully be portrayed as being exactly what she is: A socially grasping, fame-seeking fuckhead with no principles, even when it comes to a topic she claims to have been personally impacted by, not once, but twice.

Still, it’s fun looking back on the Gawker posts from three years ago, when they erroneously took the word of “sources” — also known as Julia Allison — and reported that her Bravo show had been given the green light.

Oooopss! Not so fast, Donkey! Apparently not after test audiences got a load of her special brand of “so nice-ness.” And by the way, to those who have e-mailed us over the years telling us you have seen the pilot and/or the summary of test audience reactions, please, for the love of Lilly, man up and send us what you have. It is the Holy Grail of RBD!

This too is worth a laugh as she preens and minces a couple of years ago about her upcoming Bravo pilots. Oh dear.

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61 Responses to A Trip Down Memory Lane: The Last Time Donkey Had A Reality Show In The Offing

  1. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    That frosted eyeshadow that she wears in the video? OMFG.

    • JFA says:

      I KNOW WHAT THE FUCK??? Who fuck told her white shadow from lid to eyebrow looks fucking good???

  2. Rosalie says:

    I honestly cannot wait to watch this show…

    • Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

      It’s going to be AMAZEBALLS!!!!

    • Mule on rouge says:

      I hope I’ll be able to see it. According to Julia, my eyeballs have been fractionalized.

      • Donksers says:

        Ha! Fractionalized eyeballs. Typical Julia Allison bullshit. That video is stomach-churning. She is always at her absolute worst (most nauseating) when she’s flying high, either because of a new boyfriend or because she’s getting some major attention. She becomes even more arrogant, more aggressive, more in love with herself, and more repulsive than usual…and her speech pattern becomes so affected it’s actually hard to watch, like in that Bravo video. If her new reality show does indeed become a reality, she will be unbearable. Even the most thick skinned, hardcore catladies and catmen might have to turn away.

    • Norse Horse, Literally says:

      I know, I am perversely psyched for it. But our DVRs will be crying bloody tears for making them tape this, the audio alone will be a desperate keening sound, a whimpering with echoing donkey laughing maniacally. I predict massive technical meltdown nationwide, as DVRs go on strike, because there’s only so much Xtreme Donk/douchebaggery and pink-hooved horror they can take.

  3. Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

    Firrrrrrrrrrrrrrrst!

  4. Mule on rouge says:

    Gah, that video! It’s nice that it’s been transcribed, for those who can’t stand her incessant mugging and tics. She always makes ridiculous pronouncements, like this one:

    …an actor holding up a Canon(!) camera and saying blah, blah, this is what I’m wearing right now. All of a sudden, that’s entertainment.

    HA HA HA NO. No, it’s not.

    • Bouncing Little Burro says:

      It’s like that documentary about advertising becoming obsolete in the next few years. Have those social media hacks even seen superbowl? Walked down the street? Turned on their computers???!

  5. KrakenSkulls says:

    I’ve noticed an influx of new commenters lately or self-proclaimed lurkers saying “i usually never comment but I was wondering..”. Has anyone else? This was happening before the Tucker Max thing.

    I’m not in media like many of you so tell me if this theory plays out. People working on the show wondered why this Donkey met the cut when there was many other candidates. I suspect some producer was thrown the idea that she “comes with her own built in hate site and the their content is voluminous and great!” so these new people are from the show and/or friends of theirs exploring the History of the Donk.

    I’m not totally looking forward to the show as it will bring a lot of trolling, noise, and one-note TMZ-like comments from mouth-breathers that I have to skip to get to the good stuff. But it will pass when the show tanks and we’ll still be here.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      I thought maybe the new people were drifting over from GOMI after landing there via that personal shopper scam newsbreak.

      • AFGHANI says:

        I think this is the answer. GOMI had a huge influx of people after PP provided a forum that led to the unwinding of the Anthroholic fiasco… for those of you who only read RBD and not GOMI (I personally can’t understand this, but whatevs) Anthroholic was some NPD blogger who “built a business” around taking pictures of herself wearing Anthropologie crap and then she’d offer it for sale and take multiple people’s money via PayPal, but she didn’t ship the stuff… and she’d keep making reasons that people hadn’t received it. And it went on for many months (at least a yr) and then people realized that no one was receiving the stuff and then GOMI reported on it. And a day or so later, the Anthroholic took down her site bc she realizes she’s in deep shit, having taken thousands of dollars in the scam.

        That’s a rough outline… but ya, lots of ppl at GOMI also read here and discuss Julia from time to time in GOMI chat. Or cite RBNS/RBD as the reason they became a follower of anti-blogger blogs.

        • RollsRoyceRevengeJustHadAVeryInterestingConversation says:

          Never mind all that, you idiot. Get back to the last thread and tell us if Michael Ellsberg IS A PIMP.

  6. solidarity cat says:

    She’s posted more pics of the other night over on her faceyspace page y’all.

  7. Shrug Bitch says:

    SHE DOESN’T DRINK, Y’ALL.

    [img]https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/s720x720/299202_843081356055_1402715_40244165_1954520506_n.jpg[/img]

    • Bouncing Little Burro says:

      Her pelts look good for once.

      • @JuicySweatPants are always a total #fail says:

        But what about the bloated face?

        I’m looking forward to the reality show, but I agree with others that say it’s NOT going to be around for long. Remember Power Girls? PR chicks/Lizzie Grubman? yeah, me neither.

        I’m from the North Shore and went to New Trier and I can’t for the life of me figure out what she’s trying to accomplish….she has NO life. Being ridiculed isn’t a life, unless she really IS mentally stunted, and just never learned anything. She’s been given so much, and never comes across as savvy or wise or even NICE. Julie has spent the last three years pursuing a reality show on Bravo? that’s got to be the saddest video clip, ever. And with a banner saying “Big Think”. Honey, it burns.

        • JFA says:

          What? Fuck you! She came up with that “Fractionalization” bullcrap all herself! Also she’s gonna be famous you hater!!!!!

    • Pink Donk says:

      Lexi Featherston.

    • JFA says:

      Wow that dress is terrible. I honestly dare this bitch to wear one fucking thing that is not cheesy as all hell.

    • KrakenSkulls says:

      That dude has the same unnerving facial expression as David Karp minus the rape-stare.

    • tonyamichaela says:

      Was that Franzia in her glass? She has wine mouth!

    • idiotbox says:

      those are some sturdy legs!

      • Frequent Liar Miles says:

        Exactly what I was thinking, despite my resolve not to body-snark in future. I couldn’t help it. This is why God invented pants.

        Also, maybe I am out of the loop due to desk errands (thank god, deals are needing to get done again), but what did I miss with “fractionalization?” And are “Lexi Featherston” and “facial expression” anagrams of same, somehow? (Can’t be bothered to figure it out; there is laundry to be done, and wine to be drunk.)

        • Edward R. Burro says:

          Lexi Featherston was an aging party girl character in one episode of “Sex and the City”.

          I don’t know what fractionalization is either.

          • I cried, too says:

            I wonder if she meant fragmented/ation? Also, she will do anything for attention. Not a good look.

        • idiotbox says:

          I actually like her figure. It’s very sexy and PEAR. It’s just…they look super sturdy in that photo.

          • Jacy says:

            Agreed on both fronts. And actually, I thought her legs looked better than usual in this shot. For some reason, they look a lot better from the knee up, when you can’t see the bow or the calves. That’s why the legs looked good at Burning Man — you couldn’t see the bottom half, when they contort hideously into something club-footy.

          • Frequent Liar Miles says:

            OMG, Jacy, you were obviously so caught off guard when you saw those leggies NOT spread so far apart that one appears to be on the other side of the room … that your aesthetic sensibilities have been seriously compromised.

          • RollsRoyceRevengeJustHadAVeryInterestingConversation says:

            I think she has a great body, overall. Nice tits, a good, solid ass, good proportions all round. Her legs are a bit thick, but hey – think R. Crumb and you have yourself a deal. She has those classic “buxom babymaker” proportions that the French Second Empire used to go gaga for. What a “Nana” she’d make!

          • Scooby Don't says:

            One point about your comment RRR. Julia’s far from being a ‘buxom’ baby maker. Pictures of her in a regular bathing suit at BM and the BPC cult house in the Hamptons reveal her bodacious breasts require much help from Miss Victoria and her lifters and the cutlet brigade. Like most of Ms. Allison’s life, what’s presented publicly doesn’t represent reality.
            She has metaphoric tits.

          • sad lilly says:

            I’ve always been surprised that she hasn’t gotten breast implants to even out her figure.

          • Some Girl says:

            She doesn’t care about the proportions, she just wants to be SKINNY. Implants would make her bigger and unable to find size 4 dresses that she can barely squeeze into.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        If she would dress to flatter her actual figure (sturdy) than wear things that would look good only on her imagined figure (willowy), her body would look so much better.

        The face is beyond redemption at this point.

    • Scooby Don't says:

      Using a pillar to help yourself stay balanced is always the sign of classy, upscale night out.

      • RollsRoyceRevengeJustHadAVeryInterestingConversation says:

        They were both standing on a leather-cushioned sofa at this point. She did think to take off the stilettos.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          & yet she’s standing on tippytoe? (by the looks af the back of her hoof) Contorting to flex the calf implants, I assume.

  8. JFA says:

    I like this comment from Gawker: LaMorena 23 Apr 2008 5:14 PM
    UGH. I went to college with this girl and was soooo happy to be done with her, her hair-twirling, and the INSANE outfits she wore to class. No such luck!!

    Julia Allison, making friends and influencing people since 1981.

  9. JFA says:

    Also it only took her at least three years to get a reality show no one is going to watch.

    Slow clap.

    • Julia Allison Is Guilty Of Bonercide says:

      As usual, she gets in on a trend well past its popularity and when it’s on the decline.

      • Norse Horse, Literally says:

        Agree. Although Bravo does it snazzily well at times, we’re at a supersaturation point with reality TV, and they seem to be throwing ever-more stuff against the wall to see what sticks. This show will bomb, but Donks can add it to her CV of utter failure.
        She’ll probably refer to herself unironically as a Bravolebrity or whatever equine-shit. Watch what happens!

        • Peltcakes says:

          i feel like this year, there are a lot more “written-script” new shows, more than we have seen in about 5 years. a sign that reality is on its way out.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        I was just reading a thing in Entertainment Weekly (don’t judge; I get it for free!) that said reality shows are totally over and losing viewership like mad.

  10. Norse Horse, Literally says:

    Allison: I signed an NDA, but we do have, I have two pilots of Bravo right now. So, God damn it, one way or another I’m going to get on that network. Two very exciting pilots and we will know by January or February because that’s when the options up..

    I thought non-disclosure meant you utterly shut your damn mouth about it.

    so but it’s an interesting, you know, reality shows in television still have an incredible reach but it’s going to be very interesting to see what happens as that reach is diminished by this fractionalization of eyeballs.

    So isn’t she dissing Bravo here, saying that their business model is doomed thanks to “fractionalization of eyeballs”. I get what she means, but it’s not germane. She’s saying television has a massive reach, but, the Internet. Self explanatory, end of. She’s saying no one wants to watch the show she should be promoting (or rather, shutting the NDA fuck up about!) because what we all really want to do is watch our own pink tutu home videos on Vimeo. New Media Guru!

    I say that what’s happening is scrap entertainment.
    Hear that, Hollywood and Broadway and the music industry and aaaaargh I fucking kant! WHAT THE FUCK.

    In other words, tiny little things that you, that don’t have a large cost to produce, can become entertainment now.

    Like reality shows. We know that. The network you’re blabbing about here in 2008 knows that- rather well actually! Andalusian donkeys know that, urban cockroaches know that.

    Like an actor holding up a Canon camera and saying blah, blah, this is what I’m wearing right now. All of a sudden, that’s entertainment.

    This is the truly cray part- first, it’s not true, a straw-man argument, and she rolls her eyes at this, seems dubious but two seconds before she’s advocating just…scrapping entertainment! Get rid of it! Just dizzying, the cray here. Her running mouth just betrays it, every time. What was your fucking point again?

    • Norse Horse, Literally says:

      Edit to add: I realize better that she’s not actually saying, “scrap entertainment”, she’s describing the larger vibe. I think. Just so peculiar that she’s so unclear, and is dissing the model and the channel she wants to join.
      Makes me even more eager to see the new thing, because hoo boy, she’s going to get the neg edit, this will not be fun for her. Glad she never reads here, I’d hate to scare her off from this exciting new project. I hear she’s being paid $1700, which is pretty good money!

      • Dyspeptic says:

        I think Juliar here is simply parroting–and mangling–stuff she had heard Jakob Lodwick and David Karp et al talking about. Grabbing onto a few ideas and trying to come off as a Big Thinker, and as usual making not a whole lot of sense.

    • Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

      but a donkey holding a canon camera, trying to seem like a credible shill while falsely claiming it was gifted to her when it was really a loan, now that’s entertainment.

  11. Lurky Loo says:

    I am an old and have been following this fool for fun but this is bullshit for my age range. Bravo is where I escape to my Beverly Hills Housewives or Top Chef and now this bloat face is messing with my stories? I K.A.N.T. the donkey on my network.

  12. Meow_Mix says:

    Someone posted the “Hello Jack McCain, this is me washing dishes in my pearls, I am your future Republican Leave it to Beaver housewife!” photo a few days ago… Her cheekbones looked a lot more pronounced than usual, but now she has MAJOR bloat face in every photo. Is it possible that she got the cheek fillers right around the time she met Jack and now they’ve moved around her face, causing puffy bloat face and invisible eyes? Her cheeks are undefined and puffy and her jowls are huge in the latest retarded FB pictures.
    Also, anyone catch that pic of her paw with the nasty white-out nails grasping that girl’s arm? AHHHH so creepy! Get your fucking sausage fingers off that poor girl, Donkey! Also, the girl in the picture is very pretty and has great bone structure: looking at her natural face right next to Donkey’s huge head and puffy filler face is frightening.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      I think it’s the laxative abuse and shitty eating/sleeping habits that are bloating her face like mad.

  13. Fuck You, Fashion Week says:

    off-topic: I would love to know her position on the Occupy Wall Street protests.

    Oh. wait, she doesn’t take positions unless there’s a rich husband at one end…

    • Scooby Don't says:

      STOP BULLYING WALL STREET!
      THINK OF ALL THE TRADERS!

    • Effervescent Suppositories says:

      What are they worried about? All they need to do is work 4 hours per week and they’ll be millionaires.

      See also … Let them eat cake.

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