Was Julia Allison Dropped From the Chicago Tribune?

Fresh from moderating a keynote foreplay session with Tucker Max, a poonhound with a tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny dick, for the Chicago Tribune’s social media week, it appears that Julia Allison has been dropped as a social media columnist for the paper.

Curiouser and curiouser, a headline for her column is up on the Tribune Media Services site, but it links to a blank page. (Whoops! It appears the column has been posted since this post was originally published.) Julia, however has a perfectly reasonable excuse for this.

@JuliaAllison Looks like your column this week is blank. I see the headline, but no content ;-(

@projectmeetbill – yeah, there was a typo so we’re replacing the copy! Will tweet link ASAP.

Yeah, honey. That was HOURS ago. I know Tribune Company is bankrupt and all, but is their spell check run by a mouse on a wheel? Seriously, what is going on?

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208 Responses to Was Julia Allison Dropped From the Chicago Tribune?

  1. solidarity cat says:


  2. Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

    I think this has everything to do with the Chicago Tribune being embarrassed by publishing Peter Baugher’s article and then later on finding out he had an ulterior motive for the article WHICH HE DID NOT DISCLOSE. It make the Chicago Tribune look like idiots.

    • Marbury says:

      If this ISN’T the case, the Tribune is as ethically bankrupt as Peter Baugher and Julia Allison Baugher.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Probably has more to do w/ a six month trial run having expired.
      Time to GTFO & move on, Donkey …

      • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

        She has only been in the Tribune for a couple of months.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          I thought her stint started in March, no?

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:


          New media expert, columnist and web personality Julia Allison, 29, will write a new, weekly column for Tribune Media Services (TMS), which plans to make it available to its newspaper and digital media customers beginning March 1, 2011.


          • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

            Yes, I didn’t realize clarification is needed. The Chicago Tribune, which is separate from Tribune Media services started publishing her columns in June or July, way after the column initially launched. They are separate entities. But the Chicago Tribune was by far the most prestigious paper that her column was published in. All she is in now is third tier market papers and alt-weeklies.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Got it, Got it, Got it, mybad!

            I don’t ever think of her as having association w/ the CT itself & so, in my mind, all discussion had to do w/ TMS dropping her.

            Again, mybad. I’ll show myself out.

            (But you have to admit, the picture is great!)

  3. Albie Quirky says:

    There was a typo? A TYPO?

    Honey, no. You don’t pull columns for “a typo.”

  4. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    Every time I read about this paper the image of that fucking ridiculous Gothic dildo of a skyscraper pops into my head and forces me to take them about as seriously as I would a daily broadsheet published by Count Chocula.

    • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

      Yes, wasn’t up when I checked, BUT she appears to have been completely removed from the Chicago Tribune site.

    • Can-Swiss says:

      I actually read it and Tucker’s advice is more or less: Don’t act like Julia Allison on the web.

      • featherbrained says:

        That’s absolutely his advice which is what makes it all the more entertaining.

      • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

        Also? The column is almost entirely Tucker Max quotes.

        • KrakenSkulls says:

          Also? She is a piece of shit writer and I hope she dies rubbing her dry, crusty cunt lips together and lights herself on fire, and since she has no friends, everyone just points and laughs instead of putting it out. Also? she is too stupid to stop, drop, and roll.

          Fuck you and fuck your insult to journalismism, Julia “Michael Jackson” Fuckface Allison BAUGHER.

          • supercreepy says:

            You are disgusting, Krakenskulls. Creepy and disgusting and I hope JP or Jacy deletes this comment.

          • SP says:

            I totally agree. Completely out-of-line comments like this are what drive me away on occasion.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the notion of deleting KS’ comment because you don’t like it sort of … oh, I don’t know … Petti Fogger?

    • Jordache and the Pelts says:

      The tone of that mess is really unnecessarily foul. Isn’t Julia’s audience people who are unfamiliar with social media? Folks in small towns and developing counties? Julia fails in explaining who this Tucker Max is and putting him in any sort of comprehensible, digestible context. Her editors really dont seem to care. And the column was yanked because of “a typo”? The whole thing is indecipherable.

    • ICrayAnAwfulLotLately says:

      So odd. When I click the link in this thread, the column appears.
      But I just followed the usual path to Tribune Media Services, New + Features, Columns, Social Media and … nada. No columns at all, this one or any prior.
      Just her picture and bio.

  5. Coveted Vag Space/Du says:

    Wish this were so, but comes up for me, bunnies:


    • featherbrained says:

      Yeah. I don’t remember her ever being listed under Tribune Columnists but instead being in TMSFeatures (where your link goes to). If she was listed as one of their columnists then it was temporary because she hadn’t been up until a month or so ago. For what it’s worth, she’s been listed on TMSfeatures today and prior.

      • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

        Search Google for “Julia Allison Social Studies Chicago Tribune” all her previously published column on that website have been pulled.

        • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

          Also search “Julia Allison” or “Social Studies” on the Chicago Tribune site and nothing comes up.

        • featherbrained says:

          I hope you are right becaues I really, really want it to be true.

          I see you are correct there. Hmmm.

          • solidarity cat says:

            Yes there is no trace of her on the Tribune website and links to all the old articles either come as broken, or just link to a list of computer and tech articles. I’m no expert, but I’d have to imagine this is not good.

        • Dr. Gary says:

          Yep. As I mentioned on the last post, if you google her + Chicago Tribune, you can see her columns in the google cache. But when you click on the links, it’s all been deleted.


    • Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

      bunnies! clarification: TMS features (tribune media services) is her syndicator, for which she continues to push out doody bubble columns to be published by city link, the free paper in florida. for a short time, her column was in the chicago tribune, from which she has now been dropped. she is no longer listed as their columnist, though she was this morning.

  6. Jordache and the Pelts says:

    Tribune owns The Baltimore Sun and their site is always broken. I always chalk it up to that they fired all their staff and and the contractors remaining are overburdened or just don’t care enough.

    • AFGHANI says:

      I hate the Tribune Group as much as the next catlady, but I’ve never had a problem with the Sun’s site not working. I have seen them get rid of a bunch of good writers over the last few years and the weekday editions of the paper have gotten very thin. Sad.com

  7. Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

    Just had my annual doctor’s visit & I realized I’ve seen her since I was 23. “Since you were a kid!” she said. I feel old.

    since before you looked so busted, Julie! I think your doctor is trying to tell you something.

    • solidarity cat says:

      Right? I thought that too. Imagine what her doctor must think??

    • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

      And which doctor is this? The Chicago doctor, the LA doctor, the San Fran doctor, or the new mysterious New York doctor? Was she even in New York when she was 23?

    • New Year New You says:

      1) You’ve had the same doctor for 7 years. Big fucking deal.
      2) So Julie, that person with no health insurance, has a doctor in New York, Chicago, and SF?

      You know what Julie, just shut your lying trap-hole before I shut it for you. Really not in the mood for your crap today Donkey.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Is the reality show demanding CDC clearance on the clam dungeon?

    • Some Girl says:

      I’m surprised she didn’t mention that her doctor is also an author.


    • Idiotbox says:

      It’s probably her plastic surgeon.

  8. Some Girl says:

    They took the column completely off the site to fix a typo?


  9. Brayniac says:

    hey cats,

    Anyone remember the link of the video where megan asha and julia allison are seeing the wired cover for the first time. And she’s so excited until she reads the actual article. It always makes me laugh but I kind find it!

    Paging Prof F. Camping!!

    • Brayniac says:

      *can’t find it. #ihazspellinggood

    • Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

      it’s starting at 1:45 on this video: http://vimeo.com/1343293
      “well, my parents are going to be proud!”

      • Brayniac says:

        You are amazing. Really. In thanks, I leave you with this:


      • mcakez: Taste the Passion! says:

        It’s things like this that make me think that the audience of her reality show aren’t going to realize quite how offensive and fake she is. Someone else noted this in an earlier thread. We hear the shit she says and every word ties into some other earlier lie, contradiction, nasty habit, neuroses, fame-whoring, superficial, etc. that we all know about. People who see her in snippets (just like people who hang with her in small doses), will probably think, “Aww, she is fun. Look at the karate chopping, la di da.”

        I hope some people at least do their research when they see her, lest she wind up… gulp… coming across ‘likable.’

        • Norse Horse, Literally says:

          Well, this is Bravo- they know that their “stars”- like the many Housewives, say- have something deluded and unlikeable about them. People tune in because they can’t believe some of the behavior, to laugh at the pretentiousness. It gets people talking, it’s sort of Bravo’s m.o. Watching people you can’t stand. I’m pretty confident her true self will shine through and people will notice, and be suitably appalled.

        • pearipathetic donkey says:

          I think her past will come up on some blog. All those reality stars’ pasts are always discovered by some blog somewhere. Isn’t that how the audience find old myspace pictures/nudes/some other embarrassing moment? So someone out there is googling all those crazy reality show contestants. If she is lucky she’ll be made fun of on The Soup.

          • Dr. Gary says:

            She has NO idea how mean *real* haters can be. She thinks she has it rough with us cat ladies down here in the basement? Just wait until the general public gets a taste of her nutty NPD self.

          • pearipathetic donkey says:

            I think it would be great if the Bravo show then lead to something like Celebrity Apprentice. I would love to see her chewed out by her teammates or her idol Ivanka.

          • mcakez: Taste the Passion! says:

            I have only had cable for about two months now, so the idea of ‘Bravo reality’ doesn’t make sense to me yet. To me Bravo is the channel that used to do that ‘Green Light’ show, and the one where they talked to the pretty cool old dude (I think?)

            However, for DG, and Julia, a preview of what is to come (or should I say ‘cum?’):

            LOL juli is a fuckin retarded bitch lol does ne1 beleve she iznt fuckin with her face ??? lol i wudnt cum on her titz if she payed me she is so fukkin stupid lol i c her fukkin ufly azz n my dick goz limp lol ubut she has sum ok titz i ges u no for a old bitch who got hella fuked up fase lol u no?

      • Bouncing Little Burro says:

        Ummm….she’s the girl version of Michael Scott in that video. The random “hilarious” quotes with no response from those around her. It’s awesome.

  10. Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

    yet another Me(a)g(h)an(n) she is grifting off of, and at whose dinner table she is inexplicably hooting, braying, and filming.

  11. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    Tots OT.
    What I came across shopping foreign films.


    • Jordache and the Pelts says:

      Bresson’s Balthazar is actually a classic film and celebrated amongst film scholars. Its kind of a landmark of foreign dilm, though not especially entertaining. Although it’s been ages since I’ve seen it, the film is about a young french farm girl and trying circumstances and her relationship with a donkey she formed an early bond with (non sexual!!!). Its really poignat andthe donkey is the most sympathetic figure. An artist acquaintance of mine actually reinterpreted some of the scenes with puppets, stop motion, and animation and won a major regional award and was featured at the BMA. I guess what I’m trying to say is that Julia – despite being called the ultimate “warholian figure” by wired or whatever the fuck- has no business being identified with this classic.

      • Jordache and the Pelts says:

        Sorry to continue to be such an art/film snob, but there’s also Jacques Demy’s The Donkey, from the same time, starring Catherine Deneuve… Not all donkeys are repellent!
        But before Julia gets all Breton stripes – and we know she is way late to the trends, and was already posting cliched Bardot google images before her thwarted Paris trip when she left her friend in the lurch and kindly solicited strangers to host her – let’s nip this in the bud.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          Thanks, J&tP’s — I look forward to seeing this movie — as for ever eating at the restaurant where Donkey left clam juice on furniture? Not so much.

          “Which inexplicable media star likes to boast that she let a certain […] editor […] get to third base during a dinner at Balthazar?”

          • Jordache and the Pelts says:

            Yikes, I missed that connection…hilarious and apt. I should have got that subtle, doing. Apologies for being a smartass.
            Sorry I’m muy stresso dealing with flood/roof damage after the shit ass weather we’ve had in Baltimore and trying to save the 200 plus year old home I bought here- insurers came over yesterday. Crap, I had a lot of nice clothes and shoes and art work in the basement- all kaput. Plus my hvac and laundry, which I’m petrified the water has destroyed. I suppose I could live like Julia’s burning man out of six suitcases and a free ride, but this is my home and investment.

          • AFGHANI says:

            @Jordache – we had the same thing (sump pump died after all the rain a few weeks ago, basement took on about a foot of water). Pretty common over here–I am south and east of you, low-lying area near the harbor. We’ll be OK over here, hope the same for you. It’s a little nervewracking waiting for the insurers to put a number on things…

      • 11th Wang says:

        11th Wang likes this (J&tP’s) post.

  12. juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

    What’s compelling about this Chicago Tribune development is that just last week Julia Allison was one of the moderators of a key session at the Chicago Tribune’s social media week. Peter Baugher was also a speaker. What happened from one week to the next that the paper has flat out dropped her?

    • LetItExplode says:

      How do we know she was dropped and this isn’t just some technical issue. Newspapers are typically cyber-incompetant. Math is hard for girls!

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Did they delete all the comments after Peter Baugher’s piece? I saw a bunch of them last week but see no sign of them today. Could it be that the comments from people who raised his conflict of interest caused some trouble for her and Dadsers from Tribune brass? Very intriguing.

      Also — I just watched all of her latest Vimeos and I have some questions.

      1. Jesus, the braying. Does she just not hear herself? Why is she so fucking loud? WHAT ARE WE DOING RIGHT NOW??? OK GUYS, LETS SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DANISH MARY!! Jesus, shut the fuck up.

      2. Why is the bride in the Ice Capades dress dirty-dancing with her fucking father? Jesus.

      3. Who wears fucking big, visible, unsightly bobby pins to fucking Fashion Week? Can she invest in some attractive hair clips or even bejeweled bobby pins if she insists on wearing that horrible hair style? What. Is wrong with her?

      Sorry, I missed a lot last week.

      • Dr. Gary says:

        ‘Why is the bride in the Ice Capades dress dirty-dancing with her fucking father? Jesus.’


        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          What the hell?? That chick is a total JA, right? Creepy and “wildly inappropriate,” to borrow a common Donkey phrase.

        • You seem disproportionately angry! says:

          Watching that gave me the shivers. So inappropriate. Also, if you watch her first dance, her and her husband pretty much have their lips locked (and his hand is about 3 inches from groping her ass) within the first 30 SECONDS of their first dance!! And they just keep kissing… and kissing … and not dancing. I had to turn it off after that point. I felt way too voyeurish. What is wrong with these people?!

          • Albie Quirky says:




            ::weeps for humanity::

      • Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

        Yep, the comments seem to be gone. Fuck Peter Baugher. Utter bullshit that he gets called out for having a personal agenda in writing this article and the comments that mention that magically disappear.

        Well, I’m glad some other web articles picked up on it at least.

        • The Tortuous and the Pear says:
          • Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

            Cool, that’s for linking, some other links to that article have no comments for some reason. Thanks.

        • The Tortuous and the Pear says:

          It is weird. If I were a conspiracy theorist I’d wonder if a litigious Dadsers or reputation.com were responsible for the two separate articles. The one that includes comments seems to be buried in the Google results. Happily, the one that is being linked all over the place by tech blogs and law blogs is the one with the comments.

          • Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

            Interesting… it’s that Peter Baugher’s advice – to “bury” the shitty stuff people say about you with “better” stuff. LOL.

            Is your crazy daughter worth all this hassle and embarrassment???? Why not just get her some help?

          • AFGHANI says:

            No, that’s Reputation.com’s M.O.

          • Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

            so dadsers basically wrote an advertorial for reputation.com, just like his daughter did for inkling, rent the runway, eventbrite, etc. etc. etc. disclosure, it’s a hell of a concept to wrap your head around!

  13. mcakez: Taste the Passion! says:

    ‘Third date tonight! He’s a lawyer with an eight pack (no joke) so I’m in between 2 nicknames: Abs JD or The Preppy Situation. Which one?’

    How about you try, “Guy I’ll Show Restraint About For Once and Not Tweet Until He Runs”? (or GISRAFONTUR?)

  14. LEFOOLIEH says:

    From the KK trapeze party vid. That’s all.

    Also, having watched the vid from the wedding she recently attended on vimeo, she had to be sooo jelliz that it was such a ~*symbolic*~ spectacle of a ceremony happening to someone other than her. From the (extremely tiny and cute) bride in the ice capades-y dress, groomsmen and grooms in all white, saris for bridesmaids and wedding “extras” down to the bride/groom first dance makeouts, I have no doubt a donkey had her hater hat on TIGHTLY. Can some please tell me wtf is with her and taping random people’s children participating in weddings? It’s strange, and worrisome.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      I was thinking the same thing. Every time she posts pix or video of other people’s weddings and kids, it makes her look like such a creeper. She just met these people at the Tim Ferriss Cirque du Douche and she’s posting their private, intimate wedding videos as if they are old friends? So inappropriate.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Middle picture = Danielle Staub lookalike

    • solidarity cat says:

      I know the comparison has been made many times before, but:

    • JFA says:

      Her teeth are starting to look exactly like dentures. I’m also curious as to who told her joker-style eyebrows are flattering.

    • Natasha says:

      I thought that wedding was tacky as all hell, right up Jaba’s alley.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        Agree. Everything about it was deranged, from the bride’s totally unflattering dress that made her look emaciated (why the giant foofy skirt that made her legs look like toothpicks? A simple Art Deco line would have looked gorgeous on her!) to the groom’s Magical Mystery Tour white tuxedo, to the white-lady bridesmaids in sari, to the icky dirty dancing, to the day-long RELATIONSHIP SEMINAR the day after….

        Shillcray and tacky from start to finish.

  15. GiggleFairy says:

    So her column has appeared, but she is no longer listed or searchable, correct?

    So what are we assuming? I’m not good at drawing conclusions.

    Whew, what a day! Thanks for these treasures, JP!

  16. It Is To Vom says:

    A gem rediscovered. Sick of being single 2 years ago: http://vimeo.com/6727226

    Fast forward to the internal cray which must be brewing now coupled with a cosmetically-bloated Jabba oldface.

    Are we going to get a reality show full of these “confessions”…? Bets are on fully-exposed mood swings.

    • Crazy Burro says:

      They are going to show every ounce of her crazy to help ratings. A good time will be had by all.

    • No Judgment @ Black Rock City says:

      Even in this video, which is relatively sedated for JABs, she still can’t resist the incessant mugging. Can’t wait to see her make all of her various faces on Bravo.


      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        I just can’t get over the fact that anyone would specifically request Michael Jackson eyebrows when going in for donktastic surgery, but folks, there ya have it.

        • JFA says:

          I just commented on the brows above! Where does she get those mother fuckers threaded? Does she request the jack-o-lantern style? Jesus.

        • POWERFUL Moms with FANTASTIC Sons (aka Cindy McCain's Medicine Cabinet) says:

          I also can’t get over that she actually hangs up tutus on the walls of her apartment as though they are “art.” And how did any guy manage to stay in that pink apartment of horror longer than 90 seconds once he walked in and saw it decorated like Barbie’s dreamhouse?

    • JFA says:

      I love this video. I can’t watch it at work but it’s hilarious how she claims she was previously just so happy to be single! Rigggggggght. Honey I’ve never encountered anyone so desperate for a wallet, erm husband.

  17. Meow_Mix says:

    Snort. That video of Krystal’s birthday just gave me soooo much Canklehausen by proxy.

    Donk seems so fucking predatory with her stupid camera- everyone else is watching Krystal get ready for the trapeze thing and Donk’s weirdo camera seems like the equivalent of a creepy man staring at everyone. She’s all Vicki Gunvalsen wooing: “WOOOOOOOO GUYS LETS SAY HI TO KRYSTAL ON HER BIRTHDAY!” and everyone except Meghan Asha ignores her. She then tries to do the Mom-at-a-first-birthday-party thing of “Why are we here? What are we doing?” to Asha, who after about five words says something like, “I hate this” and stops.

    The rest of the video is filled with her grating braying and grunting noises. Like, disgusting little giggles and grunts while Krystal is swinging on the trapeze, and when she’s done, realllllly obnoxious bray-screaming. I get the distinct feeling that she had no friends in New York and went six years back in her address book to find someone to hang out with. Krystal or Asha probably felt bad and were like, “Um… you can come to this trapeze thing if you want.” Donk’s stupid little interview with Krystal was so fucking awkward.

    • Meow_Mix says:

      Also, that video of her new BFF Annie’s first dance is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. They’re not even dancing! They’re just standing on the dance floor caressing each other to a reallllly bad 80’s power ballad. And then at the end she shimmies down to the floor…… the secondhand embarrassment is killing me right now.

    • Fameless Shamewhore says:

      You are so right! I am astonished that she continues to post these videos, since to an outsider it seems so obvious that her “friends” just put up with her – barely. That Meghan Asha “I hate this” was *such* a put-down. How does she not pick up the signals. They are NOT subtle.

      • Andy Whorehol says:

        Had my headphones on and not turned up very loud when I watched that trapeze party video. Catfriend across the room from me still commented as soon as Donks got to braying near the end, “DA FUCK was that?!”
        The brays. Oh the brays. Even via headphones, no one can escape the brays. I’m beginning to wonder if she’s hearing-impaired due to how obnoxiously loud she constantly is.

    • Mule on rouge says:

      She narrates the action in these videos as though they are destined to become cherished home movies. It’s painfully obvious that none of her video victims will ever (willingly) watch a single frame.

    • for serious?? says:

      Meagan’s lower east side dinner.

      Did she film a dinner party on one of her dates with 8pack (what? I’m running with it)

      I never knew Canklehausen until I saw that video.

      I just kant with this donkey.

      • solidarity cat says:

        I think so. That makes sense. And I gotta say, there were some pretty good looking dudes in that room at first glance.

  18. ShesJustStupid says:

    She’s so gross with the “8 pack” comment. What that means is that she either asked him about his abs or he offered this up. Both choices make them look like tools. Also…the “annual visit” to her doctor indicates that this is her gynecologist. Why TELL people this. It’s like when she talks about her periods or her acne. It just makes her look icky.

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      And another thing…she’s using the whole “my doctor” thing to reinforce the impression that she “lives” in nyc. Such a faker.

      • pearipathetic donkey says:

        Feel free to relax! She’s an International Columnist who has doctors in three cities, and she does not have insurance–she pays out of pocket.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Julia Allison must be verrry speshul to be able to fly into any town & get a sperm of the moment doctor’s appointment for HazMat clearance so that some random wallet dude feels safe to go spelunking in the clam dungeon …
      … that, or she’s a pathological liar. Latest wallet dude really should think twice.

    • Donkey of Perdition says:

      Found him, but I think the final two pack is just a male fupa.[img]http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/low-down-dirty-humor-24.jpg?w=500&h=358[/img]

  19. sarah says:

    She was so pretty here! http://vimeo.com/320688

    Even though she disses Sony in the caption…

    What can really go wrong in just four years?

  20. white coat says:

    JuliaAllison Julia Allison
    Just saw a new doctor here in New York about my celiac disease – and for the first in years, I actually have hope that I can get better.
    2 minutes ago

    I just… KANT.

    • Donkey of Perdition says:

      Doctor: Do you eat gluten?
      JabberDonkey: I never eat gluten.
      Doctor: Never?
      JabberDonkey: Well, rarely.
      Doctor: How often is rarely?
      JabberDonkey: Well according to my spreadsheet I had two bites of a cupcake on Monday morning, three swallows of cake on Monday afternoon, and ten muffins Monday night. Tuesday I purged with gluten free butt juice, squirted 36 times, and then rewarded myself with a jar of pink frosting while wearing Jack’s belt and a borrowed tiara.
      Doctor: Well stop doing that, eat lots of fruits and vegetables, plus the occasional lean meat fish, chicken etc.
      JabberDonkey: Ohh…
      Doctor: That’ll be 275$.

    • Some Girl says:

      For the first time in years? Wasn’t she just “diagnosed” about a year ago?

      • Some Girl says:

        I’ll answer my own question: yes.


        • JFA says:

          Because obviously her very serious digestive condition has impacted her life severely. She can’t work anymore!!!! Oh, wait…Also she can barely travel! Oh, wait.

          Fuck off.

      • Donkey of Perdition says:

        I think she is worried that eight pack stan might stumble across earlier posters guessing that her doctor visit was really a gyno exam and is trying to cover her hoofprints. I’ve heard yogurt helps; that’ll be $275 please.

        • Some Girl says:

          Or she was such a pain in the ass (no pun intended) on her date last night with all of her “No, I can’t eat meat other than chicken broth…or bread…or pasta…or dairy…or sugar…” that she feels she has to justify her food issues to 8-Pack.

      • JFA says:

        She reminds me of the Superchunk song “Why do you have to put a date on everything?” I hate morons like this. She’s so big on this crap. For the first time in FOREVER I wanted a boyfriend!!!!! Just her own twisted way of trying to make the mundane details of her pathetic existence seem more meaningful. Like “tearing up” over everything, or underlining books.

    • JFA says:

      I don’t fucking understand. I know two people with this. They don’t eat gluten. THey are better.

      JUST FUCKING SHUT UPPPPPP. Not everything in life is blog fodder. Why would ANYONE want to read this? Who said she had autism in one of these posts? There must be something very wrong with her brain. How can anyone be this ignorant as to what people would actually be interested in reading?

      Also you don’t fucking have cancer asshole. Give it a rest with the pity party.

      • JFA says:

        What courage it must take! To live everyday, with a disease that is easily managed by not eating a specific ingredient. Yet somehow she manages to go on…and before anyone jumps down my throat, yeah I do know two people very well who live very normal lives with this disease. They don’t eat wheat products. They are fine now. They eat wheat products, they get very ill. Not rocket science.

        • Effing Ineffably Un-Effable says:

          “What courage it must take! To livelie everyday”

          Fixed your typo for you. We didn’t even have to take the column down!

        • Albie Quirky says:

          It’s a motherfucking pain in the ass not to be able to eat wheat (and I don’t have celiac, just a wheat allergy, so I don’t get sick from trace amounts of soy sauce or whatever, so I don’t even know the full impact).

          That said, A Donkey is constantly eating wheat in her photos, so I have exactly no sympathy for her. If you have celiac, you don’t eat wheat. If you eat wheat, you feel sick. HOW IS SHE SO FUCKING STUPID THAT SHE DOESN’T GET THIS RIGHT?

    • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

      Get better? I thought Celiac wasn’t curable?

      • white coat says:

        This. If you’re going to lie about having a medical condition, at least get it right.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        It isn’t. There is absolutely nothing you can do except NOT EAT WHEAT.

        She doesn’t do that because (if she really has Ceiling Cat) she is too lazy and stupid and narcissistic.

  21. solidarity cat says:

    When do you think we’ll get a follow up comment on the situation at the [Chicago] Triubune? Catladies be a-waitin. The only mention of her on the website is the hilarious blurb announcing her move back to Chicago and column for TMS that really skewered her, and that she demanded like 8 corrections to:

    • Mule on rouge says:

      For some reason, that story you linked strikes me as much harsher than I remember it. It really is dripping with delicious scorn, isn’t it? Melissa and her co-contributors had Julia’s number, for sure.

      I did notice that it was updated with an additional line that I hadn’t seen before:

      Tribune Media Services, the syndication and licensing unit of the Chicago Tribune’s parent company, has hired Allison to write a weekly column on social media. Allison is living here now, though residency wasn’t a requirement for the TMS gig.

      LOLing my face off

  22. solidarity cat says:

    I know; the author really has la donk’s number. It’s a pretty thorough take down, and it calls her out on all her bs. It’s almost like it was written by a catlady. Hmmm…Picture that.


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