UPDATED: The “Can’t Go To Paris” Ploy

UPDATE: Sorry, Type-A haters, I didn’t see her Facebook post in which she first unveiled the ploy.

Literally the first time I’ve gotten sick in two years … two days before an international flight, and my doctor put me on antibiotics and grounded me. (fist shakes) I’m so sad.

And then she advances the lie, although I find it strange the doctor didn’t “ground her” for her flight to L.A. (Come in Billow, come in Billow, surely you see what’s going on here? A boy trumps any BFF!)

Just landed in LA – sniffles & sneezed the whole way. I haven’t been sick in literally two plus years. Ugh. Get me to bed!

Actually, it was LITERALLY less than two years ago, and about the 100th time she’d claimed to be sick that year. And there was this, just four months ago (although as Imminent Meltdown points out, this was around the time of the Pancakes dumping, so perhaps this was an attempt to make him fear she was carrying a mini-Pancake):

Threw up last night, nauseous & sick in bed all day. Still feel like crap, just in time for 7am flight to Chicago & my BFF’s wedding shower.

Why let facts get in the way of an exaggeration that will get you out of having to live up to an expensive social obligation?

Maybe it’s just her paradigms shifting again. I hope she’s enjoying a hot mug of chicken broth right now!

p.s. What kind of a tool posts a picture of herself on her blog with a sad face and a thermometer stuck in her mouth? Jesus.

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244 Responses to UPDATED: The “Can’t Go To Paris” Ploy

  1. HeloBabe (neé Again, Feel Free to Relax) says:

    Is it true?

  2. Imminent Meltdown says:

    Threw up last night, nauseous & sick in bed all day. Still feel like crap, just in time for 7am flight to Chicago & my BFF’s wedding shower.

    April 22, 2011. And I still believe this the true “Just got dumped by Pancakes” date.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Nice one. Forgot about that. Will update the post!

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      LOL, yeah, when she was digging her hooves in, refusing to budge, & it’s also when Mama McCain & Yimmy got called in to forcibly explant Donkey from ‘the home they shared’, right?

      • Imminent Meltdown says:

        Jack and I broke up yesterday.

        I am heartbroken.

        May 7, 2011. It took her two weeks to screw up the nerve to get back to San Diego and pick up her dog; and another week for Cindy and Jimmy finally move her out. Donkey really blew it there, cause I’m sure Cindy would have been happy to put her up a couple of days at the Hotel del Coronado.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I wonder if this was around the time of the drama that resulted from her snooping in his e-mail and phone?

  3. ICrayAnAwfulLotLately says:

    That’s an authent-0-meter, haterz. Have you never seen one before?

  4. The Cabinet of Dr. Bobby says:

    Malingering to avoid responsibilities: classic narcissist behavior. In this case, she wants to avoid Rachel (but why?) and she’s probably also dealing with the huge loss of face that will result when her dopey column gets dropped. She is in hiding to find a way to spin it, but you can’t spin shit.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

      Feel free to relax! Print journalism is dying anyway! My column was too risque for conventional news cutlets outlets! I’m going to stick to social media because it’s revolutionizing the world!!! Don’t you have something better to do, like reading The New York Times The Glitter Guide?

  5. crazytrain says:

    How about that fact that her Facebook post on skipping Paris claims her “doctor grounded her,” a few hours before she gets on a flight to LA.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Wait, WHAT? So has she definitely said she’s not going to Paris on FB, and claimed to be grounded, but then flew to L.A.?

      Can someone cut and paste?

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Found it, never mind.

      • crazytrain says:

        Ridiculous, right? She can’t even keep shitty transparent lies straight within 10 minutes of braying them. Also, the first reply to that FB status is her saying “So no Paris or London for me.”

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          Has anyone commented?

        • M formerly known as X says:

          Do you think she ever intended to go at all, or was this the plan all along? Save face with friends, but don’t spend $$ on a ticket?

          For a trust fund baby she’s verrrrry verrrrry frugal (about some things).

          • cakez says:

            Right? I don’t fly often, and never internationally, but would she even be able to refund her ticket? I seriously doubt it. You know she would be whining about the price/trying to sell it on twitter if she actually had one.

          • Aggressively Stupid (Does that help?) says:

            She mentioned that she bought her ticket with airline miles. Does that make it easier to refund or exchange or whatever? I don’t know. I’ve had airline miles. Too fat.

    • cakez says:

      Her doctor? Our Lady of Perpetual Healthcarelessness has a doctor?

      Shenanigans.

  6. The Cabinet of Dr. Bobby says:

    that picture looks like her old apartment. wtf? is she even in LA?

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      It’s an old photo from the time she was “sick” less than two years ago.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      It’s but one in the series of SUBSTANTIATION FAUXTOS
      [img]http://blog.juliaallison.com/Images/Julia%20Hospital.jpg[/img]

      • Mule on rouge says:

        “I don’t get sick EVER (well, unless you count PMS), but last Sunday I got hit with a massive case of strep, escalating to a Tuesday night – Wednesday day funfest at the ER…

        Thank goodess for camera phones or my editors probably wouldn’t have believed me when I called repeatedly, insisting in a strangled voice that, really, I was going to try to get my column in, but, um, it wasn’t looking likely.”

        That shit is from 2006, people. She NEVER changes. And has she ever written a column that doesn’t contain at least one “um”? Jesus, she is so fucking lame.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          I just got in off the redeye, and frankly, I’m feeling a bit under the weather. CodeNameTK has been sick for the past three weeks, and I think I caught the remnants of whatever bug he had.

          I’m almost never sick (seriously, the last time I remember being really ill was Thanksgiving 2007), so I’m hoping this is just redeye related sniffles & sneezes. Pounding a green juice from Blueprint Cleanse just in case. 🙂

          Thanksgiving is a regular “I AM TO SICK TO HELP MOM$ER! TAKE MY PICTURE, DADDY!” theme too.

          • Mule on rouge says:

            Oopsies, I put 2006, but it was 2007.

            So the TK germ-sharing was 2009. I wonder if Momsers got any help for Thanksgiving 2008?

      • diluted brain says:

        HAHAHA I loved this photo! She is so crazy! If she posted more crazy pics like this instead of reblogs of raincoats, I bet she’d get a lot more hits.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      [img]http://fastcache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/7/2007/08/medium_Julia%20Allison%20Lilly%20sleeping%20August%202007.jpg[/img]

      • Mule on rouge says:

        It’s so very normal to trowel on the makeup when you’re sick. It’s not bizarre at all to photograph yourself looking wan, and post it to the world wide web, in order to prove that you are ill.

        • Jordache and the Pelts says:

          Ay, that’s from when Julia had a sleeping disorder, or celiac… Good times.

      • cakez says:

        What is up with her upper lip? She looks like she has a serious case of the mouth barnacle there.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          Dunno. I was momentarily distracted by the one cavernous nostril.

          • Crazy Burro says:

            You keep commenting on the cavernous nostril and she’s probably going to be booking another appointment at the “ashram” again soon.. 🙂

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            She could plug it w/ one of the calf implants. ;0

          • Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

            Brayella, I just peed myself loling at that…

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      [img]http://12.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ktqwquhgTF1qz6dlko1_400.jpg[/img]

      • The Manta says:

        I LOL’ed the first time I saw this picture because it’s clear from the dogs posture she’s holding it down while she “sleeps”.

      • Jean Shorts = Compression Socks says:

        Oh god that’s funny. She’s clearly forcefully holding the dog down while it tries to get the fuck away from her.

        Metaphor for her life, right there.

      • NorseHorse, Literally. says:

        Also, pretending this is legit, who would be taking the picture, and why? “Oh there’s poor sick Julia, looking so adorable even in suffering. Hand me the cameraphone, we have to capture this. Lilly, stop squirming, we don’t want to wake her.”

        w t f

        • Frequent Liar Miles says:

          Ha! That’s not even Lily; it’s Langdon, long before removed from Donkey’s purview at her own mother’s insistence (which explains how he ended up in this uncomfortable position. Lily had obviously been in hiding for hours at this point, so wearied was she of posing as an accessory in this idiot’s ego-vignettes.)

  7. Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

    These are hilarious. There’s another one with her lying on her mother’s couch with both dogs, perhaps even drinking chicken broth.

    a. She had a fucking head cold.

    and

    b. That’s my first thought when I am sick and lying on the couch. Get someone to take my picture so that I can post it to my blog.

    • Pescachickenarian says:

      That’s when the ‘pescaterian’ lie was exposed.

      Woo, I rang myself!

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

      In every case in which she claims to be violently ill, why does she start by saying “I never ever get sick (so blessed!) BUT…”

      Sickly attention-grubbing Donkey. Wouldn’t be surprised if at some future date she develops Munchausen.

      • Peltcakes says:

        i know! why doesn’t she just admit that she gets sick once or twice a year, like most healthy young people. why does she always have to be so goddamned special?

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          WHY DOESN’T SHE KEEP A SPREADSHEET
          OF EVERY INSTANCE OF GETTING SICK???

          • Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

            There would be a lot of overlap with the spreadsheet of guys she’s dated. Greasy and Lewis both seem serial STD-transmitter types.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            That would explain expedited access to medical treatment in numerous cities …

            #Just_like_real_escort_services_have!

        • Amuse-douche says:

          Because she’s not actually sick and is too stupid to remember all the times she’s lied to get out of an obligation. I’m sure she never gets sick, even with her constant, pointless meandering around the country, but she lie constantly.

    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      Ugh, the one where she is “snuggled” in that soiled pink comforter. One of my faves.

  8. M formerly known as X says:

    Um, there’s no such thing as a doctor “grounding” you. If she really wanted to go, she would go – especially if she’s now on antibiotics, she wouldn’t be contagious! I got strep throat and was put on antibiotics and five days later still ran a marathon – my doctor said he’d prefer I not do it, but I was determined. My point is – the ONLY reason a doctor can “ground” you off a flight is if you literally have a flesh eating bacteria or are more than 36 weeks pregnant. And if she’s really that sick, why is she tweeting/posting at all?

    Agreed – a person who posts pictures of herself looking sad with a thermometer is trying to substantiate a lie.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      She’s so full of shit. If you’re on an antibiotic, no doctor will ground you. Again — you have to be eight months pregnant or suffering Ebola. She’s lying.

      This is funny:

      http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/260358197

      • M formerly known as X says:

        I remember that was when I first cracked as a commenter. Five days of whining about being sick and then she GOES to the high school reunion WITH a fever (so she claims). Totally irresponsible from a public health standpoint, or total bullshit. I can’t remember what she was avoiding that time.

      • Jordache and the Pelts says:

        And where did she find this doctor? the layers of bola are astounding…

      • Bitches Be Loco says:

        WHO DOES THAT?!

    • M formerly known as X says:

      Coda: Much like a person with self-diagnosed celiac disease posts a picture of the insurance rejection letter (based on self-reported self-diagnosed celiac disease) as substantiation.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      A flight doctor would ground a sick pilot from flying …
      [img]http://www.popfi.com/wp-content/uploads/flying-donkey.jpg[/img]
      But regular doctors clear even the mentally ill donkeys for flying.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

      There was an incident recently where a patient with extremely antibiotic resistant tuberculosis wanted to fly, and his doctors were BARELY able to keep him on the ground, and only after getting the CDC involved.

      • M formerly known as X says:

        Yes! The CDC gets involved only with the most life threatening pandemics. SARS, antibiotic resistant staph, TB. Otherwise the right to fly lies with the passenger. She doesn’t want to go, has OBO’d in LA, and is making excuses rather than owning up to it. What a great friend!

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Actually, there are several cases of people w/ TB flying.

        The CDC told USAirways that there is little to no risk that another passenger would contract the disease on a flight of fewer than eight hours, Durrant said.
        http://bit.ly/oV0IV7 USAirways elected to board him/her.
        Cetron said the patient has a contagious form of tuberculosis but he would not divulge whether it is a multiple-drug-resistant strain of the bacteria, which can prove fatal.

        Also the guy who flew from Frankfurt to Detroit 30 mo’s ago.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          This is four years old, but probably still holds true:
          (FromDr. Marc Siegel)
          There has not yet been a single case of active tuberculosis resulting from exposure on a plane.
          http://www.cmpi.org/in-the-news/2007-articles/fly-without-fear-of-catching-tb/

          Julia Allison did NOT get grounded from flying by a doctor for a mere case of sniffles & a round of antibiotics.

          • Effervescent Suppositories says:

            I wonder, you can’t just blow a flight to Europe off like that and expect a refund.

            Did she even buy the ticket in the first place?

          • Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

            Donkey said she paid in miles but I say 100% she never paid in anything because she knew she was never going.

            That’s what makes her psycho – all the braying about costumes and being on hold with United – ALL LIES (in my opinion!)

          • ShesJustStupid says:

            I hope she shows us a screenshot of her ticket now.

            All this ticket talk is reminding me of how we found out about Pancakes to begin with. Remember the photo of her holding up her ticket on her blog? That had the identifying info of the purchaser on it?

          • One Fat Melman says:

            There’s no way she actually bought the tickets, because if she had, she also would have purchased OMGCOSTUMES!!! and there’s no way she would have missed out on doing a big reveal/reblog of them. If the trashy sequined pasties don’t exist, then neither do the tickets.

      • Bouncing Little Burro says:

        I thought that happened about three years ago. Did yet another idiot risk the lives of thousands?

  9. Mule on rouge says:

    She really does a poor job of mimicking human emotions. Shaking one’s fist indicates anger, not sadness.

    • Enchanted to Meet U says:

      [img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_rHOBCQz3geI/SWet1jfGwwI/AAAAAAAAAY4/ws_X-ysvMMU/s320/grampa_simpson_cloud.jpg[/img]

  10. juliajane says:

    My bet is that she committed to going before nagging Dad$ers for the money and in an unusual display of good judgement he refused, or it’s a simple case of her cancelling the trip for a better offer.

    • diluted brain says:

      That’s what I’ve been thinking too. I would hope Dad$ters came to his senses and atleast cut off the Paris trip. I wonder if she even bought a fancy outfit for her redonkeylicous themed friend’s 30th bday.

    • Julia Allison's Golddigging Fail! (Part 9) says:

      Sorry Rachel! OBO! By the way did my crowdsourcing get you a free room? Wait, don’t tell me! I don’t care! xoxo Julia

    • Boner Killer says:

      Julie just doesn’t DO foreign….they don’t understand or appreciate her supposed high-status markers. This is the biggest crack in her OMGnearIvy persona…it shows how utterly UN-cultured and low-brow she really is. Everything she does is a stunt for attention, and that’s quite sad for a 30 year old.

      • Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

        Yesyesyes! I have been saying this too! Julia hates foreign travel!

      • JFA says:

        You are forgetting she got taken to Paris. Every girl should get taken to Paris.

        • wonkeye says:

          BY A MAN!!! Not her parents, not a girlfriend, but BY A MAN!!! Who bought her shoes! And five (count ’em!) dresses!!!!

          • Enchanted to Meet U says:

            This dealt me a dose of reality here. That she peaked and has never gotten back.

    • Records Custodian says:

      I think the theory that Julia is woefully cash poor is probably spot on. My guess is she never fully committed to using her miles, and ultimately canceled the trip because she is cash-broke.

      You would have to be an idiot to not have seen this coming, which is why I have zero sympathy for the two or three long-term friends Julia has.

      Rachel, you done been used and abused AGAIN. The popular girl is neither popular, nor a nice person, and she will never treat you with respect and honest friendship.

  11. Julia Allison's Golddigging Fail! (Part 9) says:

    Where is that dumbfuck Megan? Why isn’t she here defending Julia’s latest lie?

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Kellasagna is busy doctoring medical records — there’ll be a SOAP note of Donkey’s recent vet visit posted to nonsobriety ASAP, but Kellasagna has to finish wiping Lilly’s ass first.

  12. JFA says:

    Um, who fuck gets antibiotics for “Sniffles and sneezes?” That’s called a fucking cold, you tool. Also, stop boasting about “literally never being sick” asshole, no one is impressed.

    • Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

      Right??? I mean this is the tell. Sniffles and sneezing??? You have to have strep throat or fluid in your lungs to be put on antibiotics – not a common cold.

      PS, my BFF is a flight attendant and flies on antibiotics all the time. No doctor has ever grounded her – she says this is a huge lie.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        From a flight nurse: If antibiotics are post-op ear surgery or if there’s currently an inner ear infection going on or if there’s an allergic reaction involving nausea & diarrhea, a doctor typically isn’t going to say you can’t fly, they’ll let that be your call.

        I know of a woman whose doc told her to go ahead & fly out of the country two years ago during the swine flu pandemic, & she was pregnant!

        Can you just imagine the airline industry’s reaction if docs told everyone not to fly for every antibiotic Rx written? lolololol

      • Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

        Doctors can barely prevent you from getting on a plane even if you have multi-resistant tuberculosis. AT MOST, a doctor told Donkey that it might be better not to fly, and he likely did that only out of an abundance of caution.

    • Jordache and the Pelts says:

      Seriously, last time I was on antibiotics I’d been suffering hugely from strep for over a week and still managed to go to work and ultimately was forced to go the ER and the pills took care of everything within a few hours. Julia doesn’t have the flu she’s propagating her narcissist miasma.

      • Craying Mantis says:

        I’ve flown from the US to Buenos Aires with bacterial infections. All they do is maybe suggest antihistamines so you don’t hurt your ears. Other than that, they wish you happy travels! Total BS on the “Grounded”. I fly a lot (when I’m let out of the basement, that is).

  13. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    After Donkey gets sick nevery Thanksgiving & can’t help Mom$er w/ food prep, she always Springs Back to Health in time for Xmas & the requisite chocolate binge. See:
    [img]http://getoffmyinternets.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/v6rsp0lfo2c9elzynqunzog5_400.jpg[/img]

    • Jacy says:

      Her head and her mouth — they are fucking gigantic. So disturbing.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        But her eyes are symmetrical!
        [img]http://25.media.tumblr.com/NB8YioMLifmlnx82SuaMhcL4o1_400.jpg[/img]
        Um … er … oops … not so much!

  14. The Impersonal Shopper says:

    Is Lilly OK?

    I hope she doesn’t catch any nasty donkey germs!

    • Worrisome Pelts says:

      Donkey would have to spend time with her for that to happen. Besides, Kelleigh-dogsitter-sagna is on the job.

  15. Jacy says:

    Also, I can’t wait til she posts a photo of her bottle of antibiotics that she scrounges somehow from some lackadaisical California doctor. You know she will.

    • Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

      It will be a stock photo she finds on the internets…

    • Worrisome Pelts says:

      Does 1-800-Flowers have a related pharmacy? Shilling for drugs is the new having a job.

    • Jordache and the Pelts says:

      Replete with her yellow painted snappers. Good grief. Also this baffling medical condition is convenient out form burning man. I think its ripe the term “poseur” come back into vogue.

      • The Impersonal Shopper says:

        It would have been so funny to see her stomping around the playa in white platform shoes, her face covered in the dust that would have inevitably attached to her pancake makeup….

        So much potential for unintentional comedy I am laughing already!!

    • CUNTbunnies! says:

      [img]http://i54.tinypic.com/16hrp0w.jpg[/img]

  16. CurlingIronsAtDawn says:

    Said tool looks to have painted her face with bronzer & blush in above photo for dramatic “sick” look as her normal skin tone is white, white, white.

  17. Jordache and the Pelts says:

    “(fist shakes)” is cracking me up. I think from now on instead of being visibly annoyed and expressing myself maturely I’ll adopt that as shorthand.

  18. Effervescent Suppositories says:

    I wouldn’t be surprised if she uses this illness to chicken out of Burning Man too. She hates camping right? She’s pretending to be all enthused and pretending to desperately scour the internets for tickets, but she’ll back out. If she gets there she won’t last 24 hours before having some other kind of “poor me” medical “emergency” which forces her to run screaming for air conditioning, showers, pelt dryers and undeserved sympathy.

  19. Steph says:

    Just tuning in here, sorry if I’m confused… The photo above with Lily and the thermometer in her mouth. Did she posted that on her blog within the last 72 hours or did Jacy just pull that from the archives to illustrate the point? I swear to god that pic is old, taken at her Pink Palace apt in NYC. Any chance someone could find another pic from those days with the same background?

  20. Can-Swiss says:

    Don’t her “friends” see through her lies? I mean really. She’s so full of shit all the time.

    • Brianna says:

      They do, but Julia is convinced this is 100% plausible and there’s no way it cannot be believed.

      Because she is deluded.

      Her friends probably react in some way, but she doesn’t even notice…

  21. bitchface says:

    wow, these posts from 2009 make me realize that I’ve known Julia Allison Baugher for almost four years now, and snarking on her for 3.

    I need a new hobby.

  22. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    Just thought of something …

    Julia Allison’s veterinarian put her on antibrayotics.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      & he probably did say that an international flight is too long for Donkey to be in the hot cargo hold of an airplane, cuz the glue holding her pelts on could melt.

    • Bouncing Little Burro says:

      Ooooh!!! Good one!

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

      This got me thinking . . . hasn’t Donkey said on numerous occasions that she never takes antibiotics or other medications? As usual, “never” means something closer to “since the last time I reinvented myself, three days ago.”

  23. Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

    JuliaAllison Just slept for 14 hours on @JuliaPriceMusic’s futon, trying to get my body feeling better. Now headed to the doctor here.
    1 minute ago

    Why does she need to go to a doctor in LA? If you’re on antibiotics, you wait for them to take effect. SHE IS SUCH A BAD LIAR.

    Julia, it’s less believable the more bullshit lies you add.

    • Aggressively Stupid (Does that help?) says:

      But Donkey doesn’t even have health insurance. How is she paying for all these doctor visits?

      Also, how much would it suck to have a rude, lazy AND sick Donkey crashing on your couch? Not that she’s really sick, but if she was.

    • bitchface says:

      WHY DOES SHE GO TO FRIENDS’ HOUSES IF SICK? That’s SO fucking rude! Get a hotel to spread your germs only to the poorz (maids, desk clerks, spa towel boys)!! OR BETER YET – GO HOME! TAKE CARE OF YOUR DOG! GET A JOB!

      /JFA-type rant

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      Julia PriceMusic is tweeting back at her that Operation Get Better Julia is underway. THERE’S A WITNESS TO HER ILLNESS PEOPLE!

      She’s also claiming that she got her ticket refunded because it was on miles.

      • Bouncing Little Burro says:

        I don’t think JuliaPriceMusic is a witness. She tweets “awww I was wondering if you were still here” – an indication that JPM is elsewhere.

        • ShesJustStupid says:

          It sounded like Price and someone else were upstairs working.

        • ShesJustStupid says:

          JuliaPriceMusic @JuliaAllison awww! I was wondering if you were still here. Operation Get Julia Better starts now! @daverosenfelt and I are upstairs working

          • NorseHorse, Literally. says:

            ” I was wondering if you were still here. “??

            Ha, sorry, that’s a burn. Oh, you’re still in my house? See, I was so busy working I had no idea you were still lounging on my futon. You don’t say to a welcome guest, “Oh you’re still here?”.

            I am thinking the Aww and Operation Julia Get Better is veiled sarcasm. She wants the Donk begone. Who wouldn’t?

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        More likely OPERATION: Get Your Hooves off My Futon!

        We all know it’s easy peasy to pick up the phone to get an immediate work-in w/ your regular doctor (NOT), so it’s completely believable that Donkey has gotten two emergent work-ins w/ two random doctors in two random cites in two consecutive days (NOT), because there’s nothing more that a doctor likes than treating someone off the street, completely independent of a full work-up & med recs from a referring physician (NOT), who’s demanding scrips.

        Frankly, I love that she’s putting this bullshit out there for future medical insurers to uncover at some future date during an application review. 🙂 Um, er, oops?

        • Some Girl says:

          Unless she is just talking about the minute clinic in CVS or something. But if that’s the case then why even bother? My experience with those places is that the best you can hope for is they give you a few days of antibiotics (which she allegedly already has).

          • Albie Quirky Is Back In Her Basement, Bunnies! says:

            Yeah, I can’t imagine that she was doing anything other than doc-in-a-box with that kind of short notice.

    • JFA says:

      That must be some motherfucking cold she has, wow. Worst cold maybe in the history of human illness, two doctors in two days!

      Nut up already.

    • Mule on rouge says:

      She JUST WENT to a doctor, right? And got a prescription for antibiotics? WHY FUCK would she go to ANOTHER DOCTOR when she’s already been given medication? Wouldn’t a normal person — especially one without health insurance — wait for the medication to do its job??? I’m so sure she spent her tine tracking down and visiting two urgent care clinics in two days. Where are the fauxtos of her spending hours in waiting rooms?

      Also, normal people would just say they have a sinus infection. “Bacterial” is the tell.

      SHE IS SO FULL OF SHIT!!!

  24. Aggressively Stupid (Does that help?) says:

    Who even owns a glass thermometer anymore? People who need props, that’s who.

    • Mule on rouge says:

      Bingo! I didn’t own any kind of thermometer until I had a child. For someone who is NEVER sick, she comes across as a hypochondriac.

      [img]http://i51.tinypic.com/2lbdcvm.jpg[/img]

  25. Bouncing Little Burro says:

    Speaking of Julia Price Music…where is the music video? Also, where is the video from Comicon? Yet another thing is in the queue?

    • Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

      Hahahahahah… Comicon… already forgot about that. LOL, oh,, Julia.

      • Mule on rouge says:

        I went to G4 to see if there were any videos from Comic Con with Julia Allison. I was very surprised to see one from 2007, where she is introduced at the beginning as an Entertainment Columnist from Maxim magazine. Then her chyron is “Columnist, Maxim”. Say whut? How did I miss this??

        http://www.g4tv.com/videos/15754/the-loop-xbox-elite-worth-the-money/

        The lulz start at 1:58. The host starts to ask her a question on a new topic — she breaks in and starts braying her opinion on the previous topic. Fun fact: Julia Allison, crowdsourcer extraordinaire, thinks the wisdom of crowds isn’t that great. BWAHAHAHA!!!

    • diluted brain says:

      Who is this Julia Price anyway? Never even heard of her.

      • ShesJustStupid says:

        Some musician? I think maybe she shares an agent with Julia.

        • Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

          julia met julia through that taryn southern chick, who i’m sure we’ll never hear of again, thanks to julia’s displays at her birthday party.

          • Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

            Yes, it’s VERY interesting that Julia is not staying with Taryn after that whole birthday debacle.

            Donkey burning bridges… AGAIN!

          • Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

            Cue Donkey twittering Taryn to save face in 5,4,3,2…

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        I just read on her website that she used to be Julia Ilowiecki but she dropped her last name & now uses her middle name.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Hmmm …. Right up Donkey’s alley …

      hotel cafe*JULIA’s BDAY SHOW! | los angeles, CA | (8pm) | Aug. 28, 2011
      http://www.juliapricemusic.com/#!tour

  26. ShesJustStupid says:

    Isn’t Donks Social Media panel with OMGRANDI tomorrow?

    • Effing Ineffably Un-Effable says:

      Miraculous recovery thanks to amazing LA doctor. Also able to make it to Burning Man. Will get “some kind of shot”.

      • Jean Shorts = Compression Socks says:

        Donkey wouldn’t miss a chance to publicly flaunt her association with Facebook’s sister if she were on a ventilator. She’ll be there for sure.

        • Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

          Two points:

          1) Surprised she is twattering and Fbing about this conference, unless it’s sold out, I would think Donkey wants a lot of people to be in attendance so it looks successful

          2) PREDICTION: This will be Donkey’s new grift if Randi is up to it. She’d like nothing more than to make money by “talking” to large crowds.

          ALSO: DONKEY TOOK DOWN THE POST ON HER BLOG where she is questioned about this event publishing her bullshit credits from 3 years ago. Interesting.

          • Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

            Sorry – surprised she ISN’T twattering and FBing

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Did she take down the actual post or just close the comments on it, I can’t tell. I found it in GR, but the link goes to the ballgown post & the disqus thingie just swirls, no comments show.

            Here’s a C&P from Google Reader though:

            August 23rd, 2011 (two days ago)
            Re: http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/9286708427
            from Julia Allison’s Lifecast – Latest Comments by juliaallison

            Ugh, I thought we updated that. Yeah, I’m guessing they got it from the bio on my site, which is from three years ago. I need to update it but I don’t actually know the password to the old site, so I need to redesign a new site, which I’m in the process of doing right now. I really need to take care of that! On my list of things to do. Thanks for letting me know, though.

          • Who do you think you are? says:

            I love that the theme of the speaker series is “recruiting, engaging, and growing traffic”. Let’s see, Donkey’s traffic has dropped 90% in the past year, most of her site’s bloggers have bailed, her FB and Twitter followers are fake or Afghani, and she is known for writing her speeches and columns approximately 15 minutes before she is to deliver them.

            But any opportunity to talk about herself? Shit, that’s worth giving up a TRIP TO PARIS.

          • Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

            My bad Brayella, I see it’s still there. She’ll be using that bio for many a conference to come!

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Are you sure? I really can’t get there from her site/sight/cite because the comments won’t open (& even the google search cache version says there are two, but alas …)

          • NorseHorse, Literally. says:

            Just want to note that Disqus is fucked-up all over the Internet today, many many sites. So, not just hers? I hate Disqus so much.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Now Disqus is broke?
            JULIE RUINS EVERYTHING!

          • Mule on rouge says:

            Are we supposed to believe that the organizers of this event didn’t ask Julia to send a bio, they just Googled for it and posted one of the random results? Yeah, that’s the level of stupidity I’d expect from people who would invite a Donkey to speak.

            The bullshit is piling high and deep this week. Break out your pink waders, everybody!

            [img]http://i54.tinypic.com/2s1rv42.jpg[/img]

      • Bouncing Little Burro says:

        Yup.

        • ShesJustStupid says:

          I just noticed that they describe her as an Internet Socialite. WTF is that?

          Marketing Director of Facebook Randi Zuckerberg, Mega
          Brand Manager Christine Kelly and Internet socialite Julia Allison

          • Albie Quirky Is Back In Her Basement, Bunnies! says:

            Oh, fuck. It’s the Three Weird Sisters of the Internet.

          • Mule on rouge says:

            Ha, Socialite is kind of an insult when compared to New Media Expert (per TMS), isn’t it?

            Internet Barnacle seems to be a good fit. She should go with that.

  27. bitchface says:

    is this creepy divorced bob? http://morethanmary.com/2011/08/i-made-it/

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      He looks like a sweetheart to me, but I guess we already figured out that he most assuredly is just that.

    • FIEIRCE Mani says:

      SO cute, so ineffable.

    • CBD says:

      yes thats me ..

      • CBD says:

        my nose.. so fat… so not tiny

        • Worrisome Pelts says:

          Your nose is totally proportional, Cute Divorced Bob! If you’re concerned, I’m sure the eminent Dr. Bobby would be happy to puff up the rest of your face with fillers. Use Julia’s name and you’ll get the friends & livestock discount!

        • Titanic Q-Tips (aka jane) says:

          lookin’ good bob!

        • Albie Quirky Is Back In Her Basement, Bunnies! says:

          Cute nose! You have a nice look there, CDB.

          • Little Orphan Lilly says:

            I agree, definitely a good look. And bonus points for managing to be the kiss-ee in a smoochyface photo without looking creepy! (Although given the CDB name, maybe that should actually be grounds for a demerit…)

    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      Not bad; not bad at all. So my invite to all SF Bay Area catladies, and visitors to the realm, for an elbow-bending session can still include you, though home renovation projects currently preclude guests. Maybe in later in the fall? Professor? Bitchface? Mcakes? Whatever the case, I will remember: vodka martinis only, “gin is poison.”

      • Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

        yes please. i would also be up for visiting case de cakez (unless that already happened??)

        • mcakes: Taste the passion! says:

          PFC — it hasn’t happened yet. We are still in the moving/unpacking process. It is going very slowly because we repainted almost every room before moving, and because brah and I work so damn much.

          I am happy to entertain once we get settled in, though. I still think we need to have a ‘NS’ themed costume party. (Since JA loves a good costume party.)

    • Mule on rouge says:

      Props to Mary for giving Bob a genuine, heartfelt kiss on the cheek! Donkey would be awkwardly contorting herself so she could eyehump the camera.

      C(ute)DB, I wish you lived in Baltimore so I could stalk you. 😉

    • Wow, Mary’s using my material! Way to go, Bob! You look great 🙂

  28. FIEIRCE Mani says:

    OT BUT…those in the path of IRENE have your 3 day emergency kit, and make plans to move to higher ground….that means from the Carolina’s to Upper New England, New York included. I love u cagtladies and I worry.

    • Worrisome Pelts says:

      Seriously. My NC family in Wilmington can head to the grandparents’ house in the eastern part of the state, but so far they say it looks like they’ll be on the “good” side of the storm. Fingernails duly bitten, as Donk would say.

      • So Blessed. says:

        WP-I hope they stay on the good side. I’m a former Wilmingtonian-I think what often gets lost is that the storm surge can be more decimating than the hurricane.

    • Brianna says:

      Yeah, I just talked to my mom to make sure she has batteries/propane/water/dogfood/etc, etc.. The boyfriend is in Nassau and on generator power right now, he’s flying here tomorrow.

      We just got squally rain.

  29. Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

    Donkey’s latest tweets

    Julia Allison Hey, does anybody know of any diseases you can get where you’d be prescribed anti-biotics and it would be believable for you to back out of an international flight? 30 minutes ago

    Julia Allison @Pearsonified No, I already said sniffles and sneezing and no one is buying it. 27 minutes ago.

    JuliaAllison The doctor prescribed antibiotics – says I have a bacterial sinus infection. Also just got a vitamin B shot in my butt. (um … It hurts!) 21 minutes ago

    (only one of these is true, the others I just imagine in her head)

    • Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

      Also, unsure why she’d be prescribed anti-biotics TODAY is she already got them yesterday.

      Poor dumb donkey.

    • Effing Ineffably Un-Effable says:

      Crowdsourcing her own bullshit now?

      Antibiotics aren’t usually indicated for a sinus infection unless it’s hung around for over a week or so, no? Most of that stuff is viral which leads to the $30 copay, and your doctor saying, “Yeah, not much I can do. Get rest and fluids, specifically a gluten-free pescatarian chicken broth.”

      • cupcake cray cray says:

        as someone who gets nasty sinus infections regularly, I can say with the utmost authority that she IS SO FULL OF SHIT. she would have been in intense pain flying with a sinus infection, not some sniffles and sneezing. asshole.

        • Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

          EXACTLY!!!!!

        • cupcake cray cray says:

          doh that was supposed to be a reply to brayniac, down below.

          what I wanted to say to this comment is that, yes, I get abx prescribed when I get sinus infections. it’s a holy grail when they deign to give me a z-pack, cause it clears up in a day. otherwise they give me amoxicillan and it takes about five days. without antibiotics and using OTC drugs, my sinus infections go on for the better part of a month (I sadly had to do the research when I was without health insurance when I was unemployed). my sinus infections have never just cleared up on their own, like the standard cold does.

      • Albie Quirky Is Back In Her Basement, Bunnies! says:

        It depends. If you’re prone to repeated sinus infections, they’re probably bacterial, and you need the antibiotics. As the lovely and talented cupcake cray cray sez, the sinuses can be demons. I was on antibiotics for almost a solid year and finally had magical surgery from a magical doctor who looked like Jerry Seinfeld and now everything is peaches and cream.

        That said, IF A Donkey has any antibiotics, a doctor gave them to her to get her the fuck out of the office. Also note to see if she drinks any boozeahol in the next five days…

  30. Brayniac says:

    It’s like we’re writing this show now.

    Whoever said she’ll get some sort of shot? Check.

    Also, she now says she has a virus sinus infection (which i’ve had before) and if you can tweet about you probably don’t have it because that shit will knock you out for 4 days. The last time I had one was 4 years ago and even though i’m an old, i actually called my mom (it was that bad) so she could take me to the doctor.

    bullshit on flying to LA and bullshit if she shows up to that event.

    • Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

      DONKEY, WE KNOW YOU’RE LYING:

      ‘The vast majority of cases of sinusitis are caused by viruses and will therefore resolve without antibiotics.[4] However, if symptoms do not resolve within 10 days, amoxicillin is a reasonable antibiotic to use first for treatment’

      10 days Donkey… you don’t automatically get put on antibiotics.

      • Dancer's Bun, with a Side of Pelts says:

        I think she wrote that she had a bacterial sinus infection…would antibiotics be prescribed for that? I have some sort of head cold/sinus thingie as I type and I got on w/ my day w/out blathering on all over the place (except here, just now).

        • Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

          They are the same thing.

          • Dancer's Bun, with a Side of Pelts says:

            Ah, good to know. These and allergies are recent afflictions to me. Old.com

          • Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says:

            Usually they wait ten days to deem it “bacterial” which is why I call bullshit on the whole thing. It’s only then that they prescribe antibiotics which is also why I am sure she is lying.

          • Frequent Liar Miles says:

            But I am sure that any doctor/lab would have difficulty determining which is the bacteria and which is the julia.

          • Albie Quirky Is Back In Her Basement, Bunnies! says:

            There’s no way to test reliably and affordably for what is a viral and what is a bacterial sinus infection, so as Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears says, they use observation as a screening.

            That said, random doc-in-a-box may well have given out antibiotics just to stop the braying.

  31. crazy glue my pelts says:

    ok. srsly. this kind of deserves its own post. because it’s basically, like, julia’s entire personality, in 140 characters or less:

    @brit @MelodyMcC @randizuckerberg @brandee @CathyBrooks @aubs @elizabeth – what about me! Add me in! Wait … what are we talking about?

    i cannot believe this was a real tweet. i do so love it though.

  32. Burning Donkey, Literally says:

    Zomg, she sucks so bad!!!!! I’m so confused, bitch is too sick to travel, but can fly domestic and then go to Burning Man?? Christ on A Cracker, Juvadern Assholes Burning in the smoldering desert is going to be the best. meltiest. thing. ever. Off to fluff my kitty, xoxo!

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