A Donkey “So Proud” Roundup

A collection:

Headed to the Hearst building to watch @RandiZuckerberg‘s panel with Chelsea Clinton, hosted by @MarieClaire magazine! So proud of her.

So, so proud of my friend @McCainBlogette for selling her new book with @MichaelIanBlack. They’re going to have a crazy bipartisan summer!!

SO PROUD OF YOU, GIRL!! RT @McCainBlogette: Here is my profile in New York Times style section by Liesl Schillinger – http://nyti.ms/9iHAZp

With my wonderful boyfriend, Jack, now (as of yesterday’s winging) a naval aviator! So proud of him.

Team NonSociety, in New York

I’m so proud of these women.

Congratulations to David and the entire Tumblr team.  This product just blows my mind.  I’m so, so proud of you guys.

So proud of Meghan for taking the leap to India for two weeks.

Can’t wait to see my Momsers – she’s down (through healthy eating) to a size 6, the weight she was when she got married. So proud of her!

  Watching @MeghanAsha’s livestream from Sundance – http://www.24hoursatsundance.com/meghan – so proud I got teary eyed. I’m such a sap.


I don’t know about you assholes, but I’d be so proud if a do-nothing couch-surfer who lives rent-free in her parents’ condo and does nothing but attend weddings and write made-up social media questions and then answers them for about $200 a column was proud of me.


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62 Responses to A Donkey “So Proud” Roundup

  1. JFA says:


  2. donkey tracks says:


  3. Rosalie says:

    Ashton, do you know how proud of you I am?

  4. Rosalie says:

    Julia would be so proud of me. I fucking can’t sleep. Perhaps I should Google myself.

  5. JFA says:

    This is pretty much her MO though. Shining through other’s example. It worked with her family. MIT PRINCETON STANFORD LAWYER NIXON SPEECHWRITER!!!! PARENTS SO HAPPY SO IN LOVE! TINY AND CUTE SISTER IN LAW!

    • Peltcakes says:

      I read somewhere that “reflected glory” is a big part of the NPD. They take on others’ accomplishments as their own. The “Julias” in my life definitely do this.

  6. Hoosierlawyerdaddy says:

    Ashton, can you be proud of someone else’s kids?

  7. Slutty Catbanger says:

    The only real “accomplishment” of most of these people is being related to someone rich and/or famous. So proud of you for being lucky!

  8. JFA says:

    Also this Randi ass kissing is so nauseating. Like the world doesn’t realize she’s successful because of her familial connections. Ditto Megatits. Not impressive. Just shut up you dumb Donkey.

  9. Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

    The funniest one is being proud of Meghannaise because she’s going on a two-week vacation to India. So so proud! So brave!!

    • AFF says:

      Didn’t Meghan hate India, though? I seem to remember her complaining about it, like the Valley Girl she is.

      • Tribune Slingbacks says:

        How dare you! Meghan loved all her little slumdogs, and then when she got home she started a line of cow-leather scarves! So proud, so Indian.

  10. AFF says:

    She commented publicly on her mom’s weight? WTF? Way, way, way over the line. Jesus Christ she’s tacky.

    Also – her mom is a housewife who has nothing to do all day, I guess? Still… you’re proud of your 60+ year old Momser for…. losing a few lbs? Wow, fucking sad.com to the max


    • zandra says:

      And the comparative time she used was that was the size Momsers was when she got OMGMARRIED!

      • AFF says:

        Wow, that’s another angle I omitted.

        The other thing is, a lot of older people lose weight. It’s not always a sign of health. A lot of older people in my family have had problems keeping weight on. So Donk’s compliment is even more suspect in my eyes–Momser is likely losing bone and muscle mass.

        • zandra says:

          I can’t say I’m particularly concerned about RB’s health, however Julia’s need to make her mother’s healthy eating plan all about HER is just another classic NPD trait.

          Which I guess is the point of this post… it’s all ABOUT HER! Except for when it isn’t. (Which is most of the time.)

          She’s proud for ALL THE GIRLS!!

        • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

          Yet another thing you are an expert on. Awesome.

          • Ex Spurt says:

            Ha! My thought exactly.

            If older people lose weight it is often an alarm bell for an underlying disease process (unless they have made some pretty significant lifestyle changes and/or started taking their diabetic meds) so I’d get your olds to the doc’s, AFF.

            Also, need to point out that a loss of muscle mass is associated with weight gain. You know, the metabolism thing.

            Post menopausal Momser, or momsers or whatever the ridickufuck Julia calls her, gets a pass from me. She looks healthy and good on her for that.

            I often try to imagine what it must be like to be a Donk parent (am a parent myself). And I just can’t.

            Love your work, jp.

          • "Lived with" is the new "we looked at rings" says:

            LOVE. This comment made me LOL first thing this morning. Thanks, JP!

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            <3 JP

    • Dr. Fraud, MD says:

      Mom is a very busy person what with harp lessons and hobnobbing with powerful mothers at the club.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        Deballage doesn’t happen by itself.

        Actually, I think RB looks fine, and she always seems to be dressed in clothes that flatter her figure and are age-appropriate, and the only thing I have against her is WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T SHE TEACH HER DAUGHTER TO DO THE SAME.

  11. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    Let’s don’t forget:
    Julia “Tech Etiquette Columnist” Allison is
    so happy & proud of her (false*) chyrons …

    *Democratic strategist”
    “Political expert”
    “Entertainment columnist”
    “Relationship expert”
    “Fashion Week correspondent”

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      AKA: Julia “I am a Hairless Mole, and proud of it” Allison

  12. Boomerang Slam says:

    Oh. I always thought proud = jealous.

  13. donk, donk. who's there? says:

    this is so bizarre. it’s tweets like this that make me think something is mentally wrong with her. who hell yeah’s about drug stores? and who gives a shit?

    @JuliaAllison Julia Allison
    Late night drug store crawl up 5th Ave w @RandiZuckerburg, @Meghan & Christine Kelly: Duane Reade, Walgreens, CVS & a bodega! Hell yeah NYC!
    7 hours ago via Echofon

    • My nostrils are TOTALLY symmetrical Oo says:

      I love CVS/Walgreen’s like none other (so many weird things and make up and candy!) but I wouldn’t go trolling the aisles of multiple stores with a group of friends like it’s some bachelorette party. Jesus.

      • Edward R. Burro says:

        Ugh. Can you imagine the obnoxious braying if you were just a normal person trying to pick up some tampons at the drugstore.?

        • zandra says:

          OMG you use regular tampons? I only use small because my menstrual flow is tiny & cute.

      • diluted brain says:

        I think she just loves to mention Randi’s name as much as possible. She loves bringing up her connections, probably because she has no accomplishments herself.

      • Amuse-douche says:

        I love CVS and can game the system into getting my stuff for almost free, but I don’t make a girl’s night out of it.

    • Scooby Don't says:

      Is this what the ‘expireds’ do instead of bar crawling?
      Sad sad donkey.

  14. WondurrWoman says:

    So I went to high school with Pancakes (well, he went to an all boys school and I went to the sister school) and he just popped up on my Facebook feed as “in a relationship” with one of my former classmates. That didn’t take long.

    • amazeballzrealzyogazmovez says:

      I wonder if Julia is proud of him for picking up the pieces of his broken dreams of happily ever after with her and bravely moving on.

      • diluted brain says:

        I wonder if she saw that because a mental breakdown will be happening soon. I hope the new girl is young, tiny, and cute.

    • Who do you think you are? says:

      But isn’t he shipping off to Guam?!? How will they make it work? Help us understand, Ashton!

    • Jacy says:

      Awesome. And yet he’s moving to Guam! He can’t possibly get into a relationship with someone! It’s simply not the right time.

      Please e-mail us with more information. We will predict the new chick’s identity because God knows Donkey will harass the hell out of that bitch.

    • ann says:

      Were you two friends in highschool or the same year?

  15. Pink Ruffled Cheese says:

    Oh God, I was supposed to go to that Marie Claire panel last night. Good thing I was seized with a bout of laziness and decided to skip.

    Funny how, now that I know Donkette was in attendance, the whole event seems dumb and cheap in retrospect.

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