Congratulations are in order for one Julia Allison, writer of the Social Studies social media column distributed by Tribune Media Services. It appears that after attending a hot and sweaty outdoor wedding where she spent her time scaring children and bogarting the buffet while playing the liar-exic card, she clomped her way to LA wearing the exact same dress to sign the biggest contract of her life.
Such a proud professional moment for our professional failure. Whatever the contract may be, I am just happy that we have further proof that this website does not hinder her employment opportunities. SOMEONE, at this point we don’t know who, thinks she’s employable. Any guesses as to what the job may be? I’m going to shoot down the OWN speculation. Unfounded, cat ladies and dudes.
What we do know is that the contract was not for a gig as a professional photo editor, because of the hack job she did on her left cheek and arm and right thigh. Seriously, look at her cheek! It makes her Suez Canal of a vagina look realistic. Now she looks less like a muppet and more like a homocidal puppet.
It’s like when Pinocchio turned into a donkey but backwards and with MURDER. Have fun getting a good night’s sleep, bunnies.
On another note: Apologies for the light blogging this month. I’m about to embark on a business trip followed by a much needed sojourn to far distant shores where my days will be occupied imbibing beverages of the fermented and distilled variety.
I wonder if this ubercontract is going to result in some more legal posturing vis a vis this site.
Would you like to hear from Jack McCain’s Lawyer, Esq? We’re drinking buddies.
FIRST!!!!
Nooooooooooooooooo!
Ha!
Right upper arm is so photo-shopped too.
She is INSANE!
PS, hilarious as always!
Yes yes I was looking at the arms and going “Arms..don’t…look…real…”
Now I’m obsessed and it looks like she took some off her bum, too. God, the crazy… is so crazy.
She is going to be one of those moms doing a weekly weigh-in for her kid, then spray tan them, send them to bed with no supper wearing teeth bleaching trays.
OMG! That cheek! Arms don’t look real either. It’s like a first year art school painting by someone who doesn’t yet understand foreshortening.
So. Fucked. UP.
after reading the comments I took another look at this picture. What the hell DID happen to the left side of her face?! Why… who… wha?!? It’s gone! sunken into oblivion. All that’s left is that protruding cheekbone. bizarre. I’m not so sure that’s photoshoppage, either. Quite possibly the angle. If she was going to ‘shop the cheek, I would think she’d want to shorten the tip of that nose just a hair, too. It looks kind of long and beak-y here. Funny that she allowed someone to snap the picture before she could look up and present her ‘good side’.
The ‘back fat’ looks more to me like a smudge tool slip while contouring the hell out of her upper arm. Unfortunately this leaves her triceps looking like some kind of swelling back there. Nice job.
Based on prior photos showing that side of her face melting away, I am going to go with no photoshop, that side of her face is just melting away.
You could put an eye out with that!
‘I would think she’d want to shorten the tip of that nose just a hair, too.’
One Cute & Tiny™ muzzle, per your request.
#LooksFauxto-ChoppedToMe
there ya go.
If she did photoshop that upper right arm, why didn’t she photoshop out the over hang back fat from the back of her dress (let it be know I am not judging, I have that shit too)?
I was thinking the exact same thing — back fat alert! Size up that dress, Donkey!
She needs to schedule an appointment with her optometrist, methinks. Or learn to enlarge those fauxtos before attempting to shop them. Or get some sort of mouse adapter that accommodates clumsy sausage fingers.
“Staring” role for sure!
Oh, fuck me, I am wearing wrist brace and I whipped out this post in 3 minutes.
A wrist brace?
So it’s true what they say about your evening constitutional.
I sprained it rescuing puppies from a house fire.
What SHE said.
Did you bother to save Lilly?
I think it was psychologically apt. All roles for the Donk are “staring” roles (also “gaping” roles).
Is that a bra? Or a cutlet?
CUTLETS!!!! Holy shit, it’s the pic that keeps on giving.
Cutlets and she STILL has tiny tits?!
Cutlet.
Also, is it backfat poking out behind the right arm, or a result of the fauxto-chopping?
Also, did Donkey fauxto-smooth he right rebar-clavicle into non-existence?
Also, does CAA rep Dr. Drew as well? Cuz I’m hoping she’s on a show w/ him.
IMO, it’s an overly padded bra, not cutlets. Or maybe both!
But more importantly, I second your Dr. Drew sentiment.
Donkey is the next logical step since he is working with this lately…
What the fuck happened to chola Rose Byrne?
This woman looks like she has aged by 25 years and that is being kind.
25 punches to the lower face is more like it.
Oh sweet climbing Christ, I watched the first three episodes of this season of Celebrity Rehab TODAY, in a post-dental work haze. I am an Amy Fisher expert, so feel free to ask questions.
Wait, here are all the answers: 1) a fucking lunatic self-pitying narcissistic nightmare who considers herself a victim of having shot a woman in the face. 2) should probably be shot in the face. The end.
I’ve been watching it too. She’s absolutely hideous. Bitch keeps threatening to leave? Just do it already. The only reason she’s even free is she “lucked out” and her victim miraculously survived, with a bullet stuck in her head. Hate her.
Thank you, JFA. I’m glad it’s not just me. I feared dental work might have made me meaner than I usually am.
I’m originally from LI so that case was insanely huge there. I’m pretty appalled she was even chosen. I mean bitch almost killed someone. WTF. And she’s literally not famous for anything besides shooting someone in the head. Low, even for you, Celebrity Rehab.
JFA, could she BE any more hateful? That whole “the media painted me as a monster and ruined my precious young life,” without the slightest realization SHE IS A MONSTER? Good heavens.
Gah! What? I don’t even. Is she really taking the position that the media unfairly demonized her for SHOOTING SOMEONE IN THE FACE?
the sad sad sad boobz; the entire boob is what’s visible and the rest is padding. the illusion is that there is more boob than there is visible, but every sad ounce is fully on display
Sorry, repost (because I’m genuinely curious)
Ok so those pix of her doing yoga with Greason….
Who the fuck is taking them?!!?!?!? Does she get her “interns” to follow her around to these things, snapping pictures of her oh-so-glamourous life spreading her legs in front of the sea?? (she only does that kind of yoga after 11.5 dates) Donkey, why would you even submit to having someone document you in all these positions while you’re next to a very tiny and very cute (and very limber, boys!) yoga instructor?? I wouldn’t think that would be doing you any favors in your mind.
Can we talk about this fauxto & WTF? is going on w/ her right front hoof lookin’ all biggo chicken foot there? It’s as hilarious as it is terrifying …
The fucktard fauxtog shadow is Greasy — WHAT. A. TOOLIA.
And her hand is huge!! That instructor has a lovely ass, though.
And, apparently, a split in her yoga pants.
I’ve found the Greasy thing pretty boring until now. WHO THE FUCK IS THIS GUY?! Jesus, dude.
I have never formed an solid opinion of any of Julia’s men. But this dude? Ideaofpussy-whipped douchetard.
Had we seen Greasy in a fauxto from the day on the tennis courts, I believe HE would be sporting the vag that Donkey fauxto-chopped off of herself.
Brayella- you’ve got me in sitches today. LOL
Criiinge. The look on the instructor’s face says it all.
Oh that is going to be a LOVELY sunburn. X marks the spot for the dumbass/dumb ass.
Really, she has met the perfect guy for her in this one. He is a clearly a douche who willingly poses for photos with her and takes them for her too when she commands him to. And he’s going to Stanford! And I believe his parents are still married! What more does she want? She needs to lay off the demands of 24/7 adoration from this guy and make a go of it.
yep he seems perfect for her. he seems to worship her a bit too, which is right up her (square) alley.
What a bunch of tools. Who takes pictures during yoga class. Way to focus your energy, douchebags.
wow. the clone stamping on the chair is really bad. that’s so embarrassing. PRO TIP: next time just crop the photo.
it’s a shame she wasted so much time photoshopping her appendages and didn’t think to blur out the cup of her bra, which is clearly visible on her left side.
tacky, tacky donkey.
JP called it… it’s a cutlet fo’ shaw.
I don’t think it’s a cutlet. I’m pretty sure it looks like the padded strapless bras I used to wear at age 15 when I wanted to impress all the boys with what I didn’t actually have.
I’ll take cutlet, padded bra combo for $200.
“What is a ‘BRAYLET’, Alex?”
In addition, her arms are orange. Her face is ghostly white. Her legs and chest are different shades of tanned skin.
Just saying.
My favorite part is the bit of back fat that she missed while photo-chopping.
Me too. Jesus.
This thread is for JP. Thank you sir for your dedication to this weird hobby of ours. I hope you have fun on your vacation and get more Al than just alcohol!
Aw shucks, thanks! Although, I should say that I have a family member named Al. Hopefully, I can keep it out of the family.
OK I’ll try again. Today I heard on NPR Obama used to be called “double double” because he would order two rounds of a double Johnny Walker Black upon entering a bar. I was impressed and decided to purchase this rather expensive Scotch right away because I always wanted to try black. I later found out they were talking about our president’s father. I,ve consumed half snpint and I hope that during your vacarion you get a little Johnyy in your mouth become it tastes pretty good. It’s also causing me to pant becuase I can really really taste the pete moss. cheers.
This is my favorite comment ever.
Awesome.
I’ve always wanted to try black, too. But I’m afraid I’ll never be able to go back… to red.
OT- I have a first date tomorrow with a nice, low-key cat and it’s going to be pushing the triple digits temperature-wise in NYC. How fuck do I dress? Is a backless LBD too much? I know none of you ever leave your basements, but please feel free to use your imagination.
What are you doing?
Drinking.
Fancy or dive-y?
He’s deciding, but I’m guessing middle-of-the-road. Not $$$$ on Yelp, but not the Blarney Cove, either.
Do you have a simple light backless summer dress in a conservative solid color–something that will keep you cool but doesn’t seem too sexually aggressive?
Something slinky but form-fitting. Black may be too hot. Show color and thigh, but no hooker heels, maybe a strappy sandal.
I have to say I hate strappy sandals. I would suggest a simple pair of heels.
A friend of mine has a little silver dress that really does the trick; she also wears a little black jacket over it for cooler weather.
Hmm, he’s not super tall, so I was planning on flats. And thanks for the help, I appreciate it!
I’m not good at describing clothing but if you wear a summery looking dress made of light weight fabric you can get away with it being pretty skimpy without looking slutty or like you’re trying too hard.
Co-sign Live Dependently. Sundresses were invented for tasteful sluttiness/cooloffingness
When I was dating in the nasty NYC summers, my go-to first date outfit was a skirt that was form-fitting but not too short, with a plain cotton tank top, some cleavage, and flat sandals. It always worked for me. I personally am more about showing boob than leg, but that’s because I have a mild case of thunder thigh.
Just think of how Donkey would dress for the occasion and do the opposite.
Seriously, have a great time!
whatever you fucking want
The “I’m With Stupid” t-shirt generally sends the wrong signal on the first date, though.
Oh crap, back to the drawing board.
Servicey!
“Baby On Board” is probably another outtake.
So how weird is it that the one jerk I know who lives in San Francisco and went to Stanford for grad school is also a self-absorbed, slightly off weirdo who is an “investor” in renewable resources like @taylorgreason? And investor is in quotes because (presumably) like Greasy he’s from a rural state and average income family AND a bad tipper? What’s going on over there?
Is this a contact for a job, or is she maybe buying a condo or something? To me, it’s vague. But I’ve also been eating government cheese for the better part of the past week and my thoughts are a little fuzzy.
What is government cheese?
It’s the sort of thing that comes in big unappetizing chunks and is oddly colored, which you get from the food pantry. I’m depressed that I know this while Donkey is doing yoga on the beach.
I’m not sure if you are serious about the gov’t cheese but for those of you that are starving students I have a tip. You don’t have to be homeless to go to a food bank. A food bank is basically a bonanza of FREE soon-to-expire food that grocery stores donate since they will just throw it away. If you like prepackaged salad, lots of bread, canned goods or beans you’ll be pleasantly surprised. If I had felt that I was somehow taking food out of poorer-than-me people’s mouths I would have stopped, but they had a much bigger supply than demand (this was in Seattle). They tend to only be open a few hours during certain days (making it tough for the employed to access) and are staffed by adorable doe-eyed teenagers volunteering for the first time in their life. The food is MUCH healthier than the crap you’ll find at the $.99 store.
I live in an area of Toronto that has extremely high property prices but on average low incomes. The food bank around the corner from my apartment requires proof that each recipient’s income leaves $4 or less per day after fixed expenses (rent, hydro, etc.). They put this requirement in place because the demand was too high. I agree though that if you qualify you should go and don’t feel bad about it. Taking something you need that is being offered is not stealing from anyone else.
There’s no cheese at this foodbank though.
Yep, I’ve been unemployed for just under 30 months now — yes, the Chicago job market sucks, and I’m on the verge of moving to get away from it — and food pantries have been one of my saving graces. There are a couple that also feed decent meals while you’re waiting for your turn. I know my teenage son is embarrassed by them, but it’s what keeps us from going hungry.
True story. I used to love that cheese as a kid. We didn’t get it, but my elderly neighbor did and she would give me a huge chunk. Good times.
W/ regards to what KS says, another option for decent & inexpensive grub is Angel Food Ministries.
it’s been in memes forever
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Government_cheese
there was a band with that name
She’s signing up to be Number 5!
I am SO. BLESSED.
You rang?
Ok I know someone on here knows how to use photoshop exceptionally well — I tried and failed. I wanna see a zoomed up copy of that contract.
been there tried that. i was shockied, SHOCKED to find out that simplyn yelling ‘zoom in on the right! enhance!’ does NOT work likenit does in CSI or law and order: the’rapey one’ when you do it at home to your dell. wasnt ashton the twink that convinced my mom to get a dell? i donno but immsuddenly upset. also sad.
can someone submit this to photoshop disasters? that blog is funny sometimes and the backfat alone would guarantee success.
That’s such a sketchy looking contract. Or else a scrim of hate is coating my vision like an oil spill.
That looks like standard boilerplate language–definitions, disclosures, and so forth. Not uncommon for those things to be in 2 or 3 column form. It’s actually easier to read that way. She’s initialing each page that she’s been provided with the disclosures. Those are incorporated as part of the contract but that isn’t a picture of whatever her lawyers negotiated for her.
I hate to say it, but it certainly looks like some sort of entertainment contract for a SAG or AFTRA project.
Dude, you’ve got to be kidding me. You’re posturing around here is always kind of ridiculous but this is really another level. I’m a lawyer too, and I know as well as you do that you can’t tell a god damn thing about that contract from two blurry columns of text. “It certainly looks like” two blurry columns of text. That’s it. You’re not impressing anyone with your bullshit.
XO
What are you talking about? A lot of the fine print in entertainment contracts is written in multi-column form because it’s much easier to read that way. Same thing for a lot of other transactions with boilerplate crap–but I’ve specifically seen this on entertainment contracts before. I’m in as much disbelief as anyone else that anyone would hire the Donkey for any paying position and I’m hoping that this is more bullshit a la her stupid column.
He’s also like a second year associate or some shit. So take anything he says with a grain of salt.
I have reviewed eleventy-zillion contracts over the years, and from here that one resembles the fill-in kind you get from an office supply store.
To me it looks like she’s adding her name to pages of the Bible.
Numbers 22:23
Haha!
http://www.bibledonkeys.com/?id=2
I have seen similar contracts for the reality TV (no, I have not been a star of same but two of my very best friends have been/will be, and one of the huscat’s very best friends produces same). I have no idea why they do that column thang.
Still think it’s not going to get anywhere, and probably not even a pilot. If they’re counting on the hatebuzz to get eyeballs they are neglecting the fact that Donkerina’s life is insanely boring.
“A scrim of hate.” beautiful.
P.S. : New reader. LOVE this blog. This girl is CrAzY. Narcissism is hilarious.
New? How did you find us?
my roomate has known about it for a long time but I suppose never shared it. guilty pleasure perhaps?
Is your name random or are you familiar with Beta Boy Greason?
Feel free to relax. If you cannot control the urge to constantly label other men as “betas” (dumb terminology in and of itself), you’re probably projecting. ALPHAS! They aren’t what you think you are! Now, that’s another stupid term for the same reason – particularly in the context that you repeatedly insist on using it – but if we’re playing THAT game, “alphas” wouldn’t even be thinking about “betas”, never mind discussing them and calling them out as such. Cool story bro, but from the looks of things you’re as *cough* beta as they come.
Poor Afghani is getting slapped down all over the place in this post
Welcome! Hee haw.
i for one welcome our new contractually obligated overlords. used to be you did due diligence before the deal but hey crazy doesn’t need a rexume.
You have stolen my heart tonight, Double Double.
my girlfriend suggested i gomto bed at 8:30 tonight. clearly there will be tension with her and Johnny. she keeps asking ifni need a tissue cuz im drinking this tasty shit straight and im like ‘god NO! ok??’ i wont wear these jeans tomorrow jesus, get off my back!
Aww thanks. I’m mostly filled with regret this morning… Regret I spent the last 20 years of my life drinking Olde English ’800′ Malt Liquor when I could have been drinking Scotch and penning Moby Dick 2: Yup, He Had a Baby like a real writer.
Those are 2 of your best posts ever KS.
Agree!
Agree with Handbag, that is. I hope you are feeling okay today JFWB.
Completely OT: But I loved that James Franco called Gawker scumbags by addressing the dickest thing the inexplicably revered Richard Lawson has ever done.
http://www.dlisted.com/2011/07/11/qotd-james-franco-not-gay-rapist
“Inexplicably revered” — so true.
I loved this too.
But, you know, we’re assholes for mocking a famewhore created by Gawker itself.
I think he used the excuse also that they just ran whatever the Post said, or some shit. Fuck Lawson. He’s so overrated.
Me four. Never did get the esteem in which Lawson is held.
NY meetup?
Very much this!
Did anyone else notice that she writes “…biggest contract – so far – of my life…”
“so far” is redundant – anything in your life, is in your life “so far” – but she can’t help implying that things could get EVEN better/bigger in the future.
Reminds me of one of my fav lines from the Simpsons movie.
Bart: “Oh man, this is the worst day of life!”
Homer (in tone implying he is comforting his son): “Worst day of your life – so far”
I don’t get why she goes to allll the trouble in the world to photoshop the shit out of a contract picture and a tennis picture but then will put this up with her body very much exposed in tight clothing. We all know you love yourself Julia but maybe start loving your BODY and not just your completely messed up mind.
Cuntbunnies is a funny cunt. Shine on u crazy diamond.
Sh!t. The donk was so close. Just gland she didnt clomp into FO.
I know I haven’t posted/been here in awhile, but can I go on a small rant? How does this chick keep getting opportunities? How do people continue giving her jobs when she half-asses everything? Meanwhile, I’m sitting here completely exhausted because I’m working two full-time jobs in one forty-fifty hour week and going to grad school on top of that. I keep getting told that it will pay off, that people notice, that they’ll take care of me, yet they’ve been saying that for awhile now and nothing. And all I want to do is sleep for a long time. I can’t remember the last vacation I took because I just don’t have the money for it and can barely get enough time off for work for one anyways. I can’t remember the last time I went on a date. Yet this chick’s life is constant vacations and dates. And to top it off, I know it will be next to impossible to go for and get the job I want where I want it when I graduate.
And it just pisses me off so so much.
I know I’m incredibly lucky with what I have, with the job I have, with my opportunity for school and everything but I also work my ass off at everything and have a slight hope that eventually it will pay off.
Ok, carry-on. Just needed to get that petty little rant out.
There’s nothing petty about what you said. You are actively working towards goals and being realistic about it, though it won’t be (and I’d suppose hasn’t been) easy. Jabberwocky Allfake Boreho is a straight up pathological liar; a charlatan who gets work because of a trumped up resume/”bio” (hah) and gatekeepers that don’t bother doing appropriate diligence. Her karmic upheaval is just waiting in the wings. The things that are most important to her – marriage to a rich, attractive and powerful individual with a lot of influence, being widely adored, loved and popular, having the spending account, taste, and clout akin to the “moneyed” (so to speak), being OMG FAMOUZZZ rather than notorious for being embarrassing and shameless – will always evade her because she can’t escape who she is and she is generally a gigantic asshole of a human being. The frustration is definitely understandable, but this girl is the loneliest, saddest, seemingly emptiest void in the world and has to live with that. Even the things surrounding her like the “friends” she gloms on are a construct. They’re acquaintances and most likely using her as much as she’s attempting to use them. Years will continue to go by and she will only become sadder and sadder, mostly due to her own refusal to recognize her major issues and the fact that she continues to be enabled by her parents, who seem to share that denial in some way. You are a trillion miles ahead of her, and (I have no doubt) a much better person.
And she loathes peen.
im in a similar boat as you. i envy things about julia, mostly that she can travel so much, but at the end of the day, she has no accomplishments, there is nothing she can say she puts time or effort into or has passion towards. i know it’s hard now, but people have to respect you – you’re clearly hardworking and willing make to sacrifices for your goals. no one could ever say that about julia. she’ll never have anyone’s respect.
I feel completely the same as you. My hubscat & I just bought a new home, weeks before closing my former small company had to cut salaries and let me go at the worst time. I’m on unemployment, gripping for interviews and this loon gets jobs and travels at her leisure.
Thanks everyone. You’d think I’d be less bitter considering I only have 7 weeks and 1 class left in my program. Maybe it’s just the sheer exhaustion of 9 hour workdays followed by 3 hours in the classroom though.
And I know it will pay off. Even if the MBA isn’t from an OMGIVY.
Ugh — she has nothing. Don’t worry. You’re great and will continue to achieve. The donk is not real. Comtininue with your well- rounded, friend-filled, luminous life of letters. YOU make the world better. Cheers 2 U!
See, for me it’s not the quantity of posting- it is summer, after all- it’s the quality. You chime in to bust balls on her dress and speculation of whatever contract that is (she is signing over custody of Lilly to one of her couch-surfing enablers) but ignore the slew of yoga postings, most without comment, and one expressing how “astounded” she is whenever she does a headstand. What is the point of the postings? How does her envy for the instructor- some former finance worker who made enough fuck you money to become a yoga instructor- help anyone else’s lifestyle? Who is taking the pictures? Lilly? Why would you be astounded at doing a headstand? Pleased? Sure. Proud of yourself? Why not? But astounded? Please.
And what about the slobbering over Duchess Catherine’s evening wear? “Show stopping”? What show was stopped? Or her announcement that the duchess has “just provided me with a solid year of fashion inspiration”? Does this mean Donk’s is going to wear every outfit the duchess wore on her recent trip? How about a Royal Donkey Fashion Countdown or something?
I say you go on your trip, relax as hard as you can, astound yourself by doing headstands, and be ready to come back and focus on the important stuff.
feel free to relax! it’s just a hobby for all of us!
also, on a serious note, this complaint is batshit nuts. You aren’t satisfied with the quality or editorial direction of the posts on a Julia Allison snark blog? oookaayyy … but really, feel free to relax.
We post what we have time to post, to be honest. I went back and was going to do a compilation of Donk’s worst outfits compared to Waity’s lovely attire but realized the photos that went with a previous RBNS post were no more, and given that I have a job, I didn’t have time to go back and compile them again.
And sometimes I notice something and let it sit for a few days, knowing she’s going to add even more to a general developing bout of lunacy.
I am sure JP often does the same.
Feel free to relax. We have jobs.
To be honest I could not tell if Astounding Headstand was criticizing us or Julia.
I’m genuinely concerned!
I have found this sight/site/cite to be a crazy laugh riot and the comments have been AMAZEBALLZ!!!!!
Thanks catladies and thank you fearless leaders, Jacy & JP!!!
Oh, wait, I just reread it. Wow someone more douche-y than Greasy!
God, the maniacs are out in full force.
“bust balls” so vulgar
I’ve read the comment three times now and it remains incoherent. For one thing, Astounding needs to be introduced to a little friend we call the pronoun antecedent.
I’ve read the comment three times now and it remains incoherent.
Written by Donkey?
ILU.
You can’t spell ILU without LIU!
LUI! (c’est ça ce qu’elle a dit)
ever considered guest blogs? not sure if that would spin out of control really quickly or help fill some of the perceived gaps. I love this blog – first thing I check in the a.m. and it never fails to give me a laugh.
If any one of our longtime cat ladies or dudes wants to contribute in a funny and light-hearted way, regularly or semi-regularly, contact us. We have no issue sharing the load but we just want there to be LULZ more than rage.
That was the angel. No FU money for JP and Jacy!
How about you start your own blog JA will use for therapy, you maniac. Again, feel free to relax!
I say you shut the fuck up.
Short and sweet.
Wow, too much snark for RBNS. Who knew?
I hear what you’re saying and would like to post more is all I’m saying. But sometimes it’s difficult to really put a lot of time and effort into posting. We do what we can manage to do while running errands from our desks.
Also — you know she WANTS us to comment on her yoga shots because she thinks her body’s looking good. That’s the only reason she posted them. I am always hesitant to give her the attention she’s craving.
I think her lower body still looks dumpy as hell. A tan can make anyone’s arms look toned in the right light – have you seen other recent pictures of her? She still looks lumpy and flabby. I just don’t get it… it I had as much free time and money to devote to exercise as her, I’d look ahhhhmazing. I sit at a desk all day, but still manage to be more tiny and cute than her.
I hate her face.
RE her arms/body looking good–yes, it’s the tan and since she’s exercising she’s got the blood flow going which makes her muscles look good. Plus these photos were taken in the late afternoon on the SoCal coast which is arguably the most flattering light possible. I just say.
I think her body is looking good in those photos, better than it has in awhile. What do you know, Donk, when you actually work at something you see results. Imagine that. That oughta last for another week or so before she figures she’s done all she needs to do and can go back to lying on her ass Googling herself all day and night.
Jacy-I reluctantly agree. Her body looks better than it has in a long time.
Her face on the other hand…well, what juliaspublicist said.
I still hate her face.
“I just hate [her] and I hate [her] ass face!”
There’s a difference between snark and dur-hur douchebagtastic diatribes. What you wrote? Not snark.
It’s likely a contract for participation in reality show “pilot” and we know how these things go….
What if it’s a contract to buy out her TMS contract? I just bray…
JuliaAllison Julia Allison
@EricaMcCutchan – I am definitely considering moving here later this year, yes!! Also considering SF. I can’t decide!!
13 hours ago
Ha. Ha. Hahahahahaha.
So I guess the contract she signed wasn’t that big of a deal seeing as she will still be free to aimlessly roam the country for the rest of the year.
that was going to be my comment – i wonder if its just for another shitty column deal because how else could she continue to wander.
Oh god, again with this shit. Just MOVE ALREADY. Stop fucking talking about it and do it. Also, NO ONE CARES.
Hah! Remember “Big News: I’M MOVING TO LA!!!!!!” from last year? I’ll believe it when she signs a lease. She’ll probably spend weeks looking at expensive apartments she can’t afford and then um err oops change of plans, bunnies while she convinces her mother to hang on to her parents’ house in Glendale so she can mooch and crash there for free.
It’s just part of her mania/narcissism. She’s been talking about moving to SF even before her stupid fucking announcement of moving to LA, that went nowhere. It just boggles my mind because no one gives a shit anyway, and she just makes herself look increasingly insane by constantly whinging about it and never following through. She’s 30, she can’t even make up her mind about where to park her lazy ass?
I still think she belongs in LA and once there she will morph into just a complete and utter nightmare of green juice drinking phony-ass healthy yoga-doing Runyon canyon hiking shut your mouth you fucking toolbag.
SHE thinks she belongs in LA but nothing could be further from the truth. She will be an even bigger failure there than in NY. She’s about 30 lbs too heavy and a decade too old to compete with the gazillions of other women there going for the same kind of work she wants.
Plus, her idea of an LA lifestyle is a fucking joke. Earth Bar and hiking Runyon? It’s like her idea of LA was ripped off from the first season of Entourage. Even I know it’s douchey and lame.
As Shamoo£ia says, she doesn’t have the work ethic to make it in the industry here in LA.
You know how early my film- and tv-working friends get up? 3:30AM, 4:30AM is super common. 2:00AM is not unheard of as well. If you’re shooting outdoors you have to do a shit-ton of prep work hours before dawn so you can shoot early when the crowds are small and the light is amazing. PS, the beach is cold as hell that early if you were to be shooting over there, otherwise you get the nice scent of still-warm bum piss warming up the chill morning air.
Add to that even if it’s not some early location shoot, the days are long and boring. My music video shoot was the most heinously awful, kill me now, experience I’ve had in the last 10 years.
Early starts? 12+ hour days? Playing nice with others? Knowing your place? Not Julia.
Actually, the early starts wouldn’t be a problem for her, since she’s never actually sleeping at 2:00, 3:30 or 4:30 am. It’s the whole mandatory “you have to be here at this time for this long” thing that would prevent her from working in LA, SF or anywhere on earth basically.
What kind of toolbag asks a lawyer to take a picture of them signing a contract? What kind of toolbag takes pictures of yoga? What kind of toolbag wears a summer sundress and cheesy pearls to a business meeting?
OUR TOOLBAG!
Don’t ever go away, Julia.
And she could ever wonder why this site exists. That’s just a tiny part of her crazy ways.
OMG LOOK AT HER WEINER!
I’m just having my breakfast so this is really upsetting for me, but is Greasy pitching a tent?
And I apologize to anyone else who may be just having their breakfast.
No likey!
Donkey’s is bigger.
That’s not saying much.
Or he’s sportin’ the vag Donkey fauxto-chopped after tennis …
#ToTheLoserGoTheSpoil
sedClamDungeonomg
Did they really make the instructor take a photo of them in savasana? These tools deserve each other.
What is the point of doing yoga in a nice outdoor setting if you can’t try (and fail) to make the rest of the world envy you?
ugh! oh god, so repugnant.
Gross!
Don’t think about how much dog and bum piss there is fertilizing that grass that they’re peacefully corpsing in, either.
(hint: A LOT.)
Namaste.
The hobo piss in me salutes the dog poop in you!
I’m feeling so spiritual right now.
I never tried yoga since I have no patience – but isn’t the point to find your center and be in complete silence of mind and thought? Taking yoga photos is beyond tacky.
But they’re in Palisades Park! And the ocean and sun!
Also, that’s one of the highest warrior 2′s I’ve seen. GET DOWN…
also, SPF40, please, she looks like bacon.
This photo honestly made me throw up in my mouth a little. DO NOT WANT.
And I agree with everyone else’s schadenfreude about their incipient sunburns.
you can really see Julie’s middle-age spread in those looloolimons,
not really tiny’n'cute
WTFUPA?
She’s just so weirdly roly-poly sausage tube shaped. Even skinny, she just isn’t very lithe or graceful appearing. She looks like she has a heavy walk.
She always, to me, looked like she could, with some hard work, develop an athletic body type. Something vaguely gymnast-y.
Of course, she would never work hard for that.
Or maintain it.
Or even know how to dress it.
It’s like she decided, for some reason, that she could make her body look 5’8″ and willowy through sheer force of will and liberal application of Aqua dresses and fake YSL heels. And by god, she will achieve that look no matter the complete physical impossibility!
How tall is she?
5’4
5’4″, really? I’d have bet that I’m 2-3 inches taller than Donkey, & I’m 5’5″ according to intake by an MA @ last week’s dr’s office visit. Hmmm …
yeah, i kind of can’t believe it either.
http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/169027067
note how she thinks BMI is a percentage (i think she confused her body fat with her BMI)
See, here’s the thing—135-ish is a perfectly healthy weight for her height, but she is so hipped on being all willowy (rather than dressing to suit her actual set-point figure) that she’s fucking up her metabolism with starve/binge cycles and laxative abuse rather than building health and fitness. OSTEOPOROSIS AT AGE 50, HERE WE COME!
YES! She looks very dumpy, short and pear shaped to me (NOT hourglass). I remember seeing a video a while ago of her CLOMP CLOMP CLOMPING around in high heels and you are exactly right – heavy, graceless gait, slightly bow-legged and totally dumpy.
Yeah compare her legs in this photo to the tennis one where she photochopped an OMG SEXAY THIN-SQUARE between her gams.
So professional! I know as a lawyer I’d really respect a client who showed up with her tits hanging out, begging an assistant to take a photograph of her signing a contract.
Tool.
Perfect for realitit tv!!!!!!!
If i asked someone i’d be co-signing a contract with to take a photo of me as i was signing even OMGthebiggestcontractinmylifesofar, they would tear that thing up in front of me and say, “Um, on second thoughts, maybe we don’t want to work with you after all.”
Do you sign a contract when an agency drops you? A release?
She isn’t at a level where either representation or the release from representation requires any paperwork at all.
That dress is a horror. I would never wear it to a lawyer’s office or a wedding. Watch it becomes the next juicy sweatsuit that she never washes. Crotch rot.
The pearls, and the pink plastic flower ring, look like a “princess” set my 3 year old niece would grab in the kiddie aisle at Dollar Tree. What a loon.
Princess set! That’s it exactly. “Just add accessories.”
What tits?
Well, in LA, exposed tits and narcissism are just part of the everyday static.
Those “eyelashes” just make me laff and laff.
The missing cheek does the same for me. (So glad to see you here, Helena!!)
As the kids say, hmu!! on email sometime. I’m running errands like crazy these days. *sadface*
They are individually applied too.
Are they?? What a huge pain in the ass. I can only see doing that for maybe Halloween.
Yeah she has said it before. Imagine how long that takes?
Loser.
Well, it’s not like she has a life or anything..
Every day is Halloween for our Juliar.
Yeah, I just came here to remark on those lovely drag queen falsies. Christ she’s tacky.
Where would she get the money to ever live in LA or SF? From Dad$ers? Is he going to magically purchase her a car and a new pad/furniture too or is she just going to try to glom onto Greasy’s place a’la Pancakes? SF is possibly even pricier to live in than NYC if you add in the expense of a car and everything else. I just don’t see her being able to make any headway around the West coast scene at all. NYC humors freaks like her, but as you all have said, there are millions of females hotter and younger and more talented than her going for the sorts of jobs around there that she wants.
Again with the damn NY/LA comparisons that make no sense. Trust me, NYC does not humor people like her. If you really wanna have the discussion of where a fake narcissist would have an easier time, that’s fine with me. I vote LA. She belongs there IMO.
Also, bitch has a trust fund, obviously. She’s been living on like zero dollars for years.
But not enough money to pay rent in NY on her own—it was pretty clear that Dadsers pulled the plug on the tiny pink hovel.
Obviously. If that girl had enough money to pay $3000 a month rent in NYC for what, five years? Then I am Mr. T. Trust fund. There is no other explanation.
I don’t think her trust fund actually covered the rent—I think Dadsers was making up the difference between trust fund + whatever she earned and what her expenses were.
Hence the sudden retreat back to Chicago once her actual income (Sony, STAR, etc.) dried up. Dadsers was sick of laying out cash monies for the tiny pink hovel when they already owned the OMG Downtown Condo.
Sony came way late in the game. Star ended years ago. There were YEARS in between where girlfriend was somehow living in NYC, eating out constantly, traveling constantly, shopping constantly and not making any money apart from whatever came from NS/TMI Weekly (I’m thinking a pittance). Doesn’t add up.
I still don’t think her trust fund was covering it after the income went away, but that it was monthly checks from Dadsers. If her trust fund is big enough to have paid the rent on a NY place of her own, why does she have to live in her parents’ downtown crash space now?
I think the trust fund covers stuff like the gym memberships and what-not, and Dadsers still has to write checks for the big-ticket items, something he’s increasingly reluctant to do it seems.
You. Guys. I just had a horrible thought.
You know where she expects to get the $$ to move to California? FROM THE ESTATE OF SOON-TO-BE-DEAD GRANDPA.
Sure, Dadsers has said “No more subsidized apartments for you” but I bet she is expecting Momsers to pick up a few dozen to a few hundred thou from the sale of Grandpa’s house, etc., and is confident that she will be more inclined to unbelt.
I assumed she’d just try to crash for free at his house in Glendale, but you’re right… she could be trying to get her hands on some cash. I wondered why Britt and Allie were in LA last weekend – think they’re already dividing up the estate, etc?
Even if her grandfather set up a tax free trust for the grandkids from estate and sale of his house, it takes forever for that money to kick in. My grandmother, whom I was extremely close to and miss daily five years later, set up estate tax free lump gifts for me and my sister. Its all gone now, but we both used the money to make down payments on our houses and for graduate school which is what she probably expected from us and would make her happy. I am really appalled at how callous Julia seems to be towards her grandfather but maybe they didnt have a great relationship or were particularly close. Julia’s family and personal relationships have all seemed pretty bizarro to me.
http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/67841380
(THIS, folks, is how the mind of a raging narcissist -slash- editor’s worst nightmare works:)
“When I left for college, my grandparents moved back to LA, to a house in Glendale, where my grandfather still lives, a block away from my Uncle & Aunt.”
(Extract narcissism (the move had nothing to do w/ you, Donkey!) & go from 29 words to 18:)
‘My grandfather lives a block from my aunt & uncle in Glendale, where my grandparents moved in 2000.’
Of course. Her parents will clearly pay for whatever she needs.
She has a trust fund, she gets healthy infusions of cash from Nutso Granny Moneybags. Julie has all the family cash she needs.
How else can she burn through thousands and thousands of dollars on the flying and visits to the Ashram Spiritual Center and Outpatient Surgical Facility
“How else can she burn through thousands and thousands of dollars on the flying and visits to the Ashram Spiritual Center and Outpatient Surgical Facility”
THIS!!!
Donkerella loves borderline lying, i.e. saying something that is technically correct but it is grossly misleading (e.g. “I had dinner with Michael Jackson last night”, “What???”, “I have a co-worker named Michael Jackson. We had dinner together last night”).
So, in that context, what can “biggest contract” mean?
It could be it is the contract with the most pages she has ever signed.
Who said it was a work contract? Maybe she just bought an apartment in LA.
Who knows…. the ways of the Donkey are inscrutable.
I have a heart-on for this comment. So true!
Bitch is crazy. This is her current FB profile pic – “taking a dump in a library whilst wearing a ballgown” from that ages old fauxtoshoot when she still lived in NY. WTF?
It’s like she is incapable of putting her knees together! At least her mouth is closed in that picture.
She loves books! And learning!
Aaah, the NYPL fauxtoshoot pics never fail to give me the lulzies/ragies. We need to come up with a term, much like canklehausen syndrome, to describe the feelings of simultaneous rage and uncontrollable laughter that the donkey’s exploits can bring on sometimes among the catlady population.
“… I’ve always wanted to do a photo shoot at the New York Public Library…”
She actually said that. I… It’s just.. I mean,.. Where to start?
Let’s start with always. She’s ALWAYS wanted to do a photo shoot there. Like as a little girl laying on th ebanks of Lake Michigan and staring at the night sky? Dreaming of NYPL photo shoots? That kind of ALWAYS?
And then: do a photo shoot? She’s not a model. And she didn’t always wnat a picture of the NYPL. She wanted a picture of HERSELF at the NYPL. And she didn’t want it for particular reason?
To me, that whole NYPL thing was as revealing as anything she’s ever posted. She wanted something that sort of looked glamourous. Burt she didn’t want to earn it. Or even have it matter (it was a vanity shoot: no one hired her to do it. The pix ran nowhgere. She just got dressed up and hired a professional photographer and stood on tables). She dreams about the trappings of fame or wealth or something, but she doesn’t even pretend its for a reason . She doesn’t dream of being a rich and glamourous author, say. The kind Annie Liebowitz might wnat to shoot at the NYPL. Or a succerssful and rich tv perosnality of some sort. No, the WHY, doesn’t matter. She doesn’t care why she might be shot, fuzzy, low light Lifetime television-style at the the landmarke N Public Library. Just so long as she is shot there. There aren’t even unrrealistic dreams behind it (like, if, she fantsizes about doing something great… winning a Nobel, or startng a million-dollar wenbiste or whatever.) She doesn’t even bother with that part of the dream. All fame, all glamour is equal, I guess. I guess that’s what she’s saying. All that matters is having it.
It’s an emptieness of character I’ve never really seen before.
You (sort of) rang?
This comment is very good.
Does anyone know what happened to the official pics of her “barf bling” 30th birthday fauxto shoot with J. Beck? I know she had a few teaser photos on her FB, but none ever materialized other than that, right?
Do you think, now that Beck is the next Annie Leibowitz or whatever, that she’s actually withholding the rights from Donkey? Usually that would cause a virtual footstomp from Lady Widestance, but she still sucks up to Beck occasionally on her blog, so I’m not sure what the deal is there? Anyone have any dirt?
And P.S. the biggest contract of her life must not be too big if she’s talking about money. Assuming she’s telling the truth (HA!) she told me in an e-mail she made 10 grand from the Sony gig, which to me was by far her most legitimate and high profile, paying project to date. If it tops that, maybe she’s signing something for a whole 15 grand!!! Don’t get me wrong, 10 grand is a lot of money. I could certainly use it to pay of my student loans, but after paying her 7,000 useless reps and lawyers, that’s not enough to have paid for a month of her NYC lifestyle. Hell, the full amount couldn’t have been enough to pay for her lifestyle then or now.
In regards to the pics: Or I was thinking that Beck may have captured the true essence of JA (ugly woman inside and out) and that Julia hated them and couldn’t airbrush/photoshop them enough to her liking. SO she just let it drop and still sucks up because she knows Jamie is moving up and becoming someone with very valuable connections. Better to let the photos die and still keep a connection with Beck she can use later, rather than burn this bridge right now.
If she captured the real thing, that would be called Art.
Oh my. I’d love to see what a portrait artist would do with Donkey.
A commenter asked about the Ballgowns et Bling pictures a while back. According to JAB, Beck is trying to sell the pictures, which is why they can’t be published online first. Magazines tend to balk at paying for content their readers have seen for free in another outlet. I don’t know what the hell magazine would buy that particular set of pictures, though. Vogue et al has in-house art directors and other creative who put together their spreads. It’s a weird as fuck thing to do on spec.
Yeah, I’m not buying that at all. Was this photo shoots original purpose for her birthday or to sell? Why would any outlet want to buy photo of dresses that look like leftover ’80s bridesmaid castoff or pastel, satiny looks for Your very favorite daughter going to prom?
And at this point, if they haven’t sold, it’s old news. Everyone who might have wanted them to publish (er..no one) has already had a chance to look at them. Kind of like a manuscript. There’s no way Beck is holding onto them as if they are the set oh photos that gonna pay for her wedding and honeymoon.
You might be able to hold onto landscapes or portraits of famous artists, entertainers, or politicians, but if this is a “fashion spread” those things have a very finite amount of time to sell because seasons change. Duh! And if you were shooting in Winter around JAB’s birthday for a Spring or Summer spread, the time for purchase has long since passed.
Complete and utter bullshit.
Doesn’t Donkey already have several Braygowns & Boring pics up on her More-Than-69,000+Bought-&-Paid-For-Fans™ fakebook page?
She has 7 up there. I guess a public facebook fan page would count as publishing the photos, which would negate any possible sale and leave her free to publish the rest.
I know it’s old news, but it’s a mystery I can’t get out of my head! Or a set of lies I just don’t understand. Of course, no one really understands her lies, so there’s that.
The pictures we’ve seen from that day are the digital Polaroids taken by Julia’s intern, not the shots by Beck. I would actually like to see the final set of prints, which I’ll wager are unexpectedly lovely. Look what Beck did for Jessica Quirk!
Whoa! Those are some exceptional photos, Messy is truly beautiful there, IMO. 4th down is best.
Anyone else LOL’g at Donkey’s latest? Just look how the sun is beaming, BEAMING, I TELL YOU! right off of that one sculpted & glistening foreleg. Not her face, not her hooves, not the yoga instructor’s feet or arms, mind you … just the one foreleg of the new & improved donkey. Sun rays are AMAZE-BALLZ!
& yet, the same foreleg is back to its usual pale flab in other fauxtos …
I love the yoga instructor’s look of patient disdain in every photo.
That dumbass offered Julia free yoga! She deserves to be left with mats full of Greasy juice and fallen green skin tags.
Jesus Christ does anyone really need to see that? Ugh. I can’t take her anymore.
Also, she needs to size up in the lululemon pants because holy cameltoe yeast infection, Batman!
No she doesn’t! She’s tiny, cute, and sunburned like a mofo.
Uhm… on ZOOM, the instructor’s left hand appears to be floating, independent of, you know, any attachment to a real wrist. Weird!
Also; can someone please explain that circle of sunlight w/in the shadow of Donkey’s right back leg? Donkey skinnified her shadow, didn’t she?
She certainly fotochopped the phuque out of her right thigh, yeah.
Holy shit. She took her posed fauxga pictures after the real yoga session! WHAT. A. TOOL.
LexiBee2011 6 hours ago
Shouldn’t you have been practicing being in the moment rather than posing for pictures?
Like Reply
juliaallison 24 minutes ago in reply to LexiBee2011
We did these after!
BARF BARF BARF
Devils advocate here: Wouldn’t the instructor want some posed pics if she’s hoping to use a JA shill to pump up business? Not saying they aren’t tacky.
think you’re right. the instructor did post these pics on her FB, for the publicity. in this case, all the tools involved benefit!
She wants to get work with halfway houses for people with developmental and emotional disabilities, clearly, so showing herself working with clumsy mouthbreathers Donk and Greasy was the obvious ticket into that lucrative field!
(Seriously, I do have a friend who teaches yoga to people with developmental and cognitive disabilities and she says she loves working with them so much more than the entitled suburbanites she used to teach.)
Albie, I am thinking of getting yoga certified so I can teach to people with limited mobility. (only time & $$ stand in my way)
Of course it wasn’t real
I think that might be even worse. TOOLTOWN.
THIS.
What kind of meaningless life does she have if the most blog-worthy picture is her doing what any other human could learn from a VHS tape??
oooh. All the contributor links are down over there at NS. As if someone is doing maintainence. Maybe finally jettisoning all those contributors who don’t, you know, contribute…
Meghannaise just blahhhgged, maybe it’s her …
NS main page = all contributors gone except lindsay, laura, and meghannaise. plus, new video… and i could have sworn in this screenshot that julia had fauxtoshopped her head onto this ballerina.
Naaa. They’re coming and going. Klondike bar is up there now and Brant was there, too, all alone at one point.
If you refresh, it shows different contributors each time. Something is fucked up and someone is messing with their code.
/b/ vs. NS? Would be hilarious. Maybe Jowlface Alzheimer’s Beerstein could get her bff Moot to whiteknight?
You know, it’s cool, as long as they don’t lose the archived Brant postings. I go back and read those ones like,4, 5 times a week. It inspires me. Like going to church, or sitting beside a beautiful stream and just, you know, THINKING.
But is also fires me up. Like I’m ready to go to war after hanging out with Ole’ Uncle Brant. Reading his stuff is like a cross between catching up with a long-lost friend and jumping stark naked from an airplane – on the most beautiful day of your life.
Re-reading him is great too. Because you pick up something new each time. Litle nuances. Tiny imperceptible wrinkle in meaning and intent and content you never notice before. Like listening to a great album. Or watching a David Lynch movie. I guess that’s what reading Brantster’s blog is like: watching Lost Highway – no, BEING in Lost Highway – while listening to My Bloody Valentine’s Loveless album at full volume… on the most beautiful day of your life.
Love this. 5 Stars.
Oh, thanks. I get a little carried away when I think about the Brantenhoffer’s prose. It’s like stepping into a new country. You realize how tiny your world was before. Every time I re-read him it’s like the firs time I had sex. That’s it, I nailed it: reading Brant’s blog is like having sex for the first time with some dirty little foreigner.
On the most beautiful day of your life.
What a wonderful, wonderful two days it has turned out to be for me, because of this comment and those of Johnny Walker Black above. Bless y’all.
this comment is lols forever
Something is fucked up and someone is messing with their code.
Ehh, more like, someone is being incredibly unprofessional and updating the code for a live site without testing it locally first.
Seriously Julia, just download a copy of the site to yr pooter, edit the code LOCALLY, test it LOCALLY and when you are DONE, copy to to the live site. This isn’t even Programming 101, it’s just Common Sense.
sound advice, but… you think julia is doing any programming?! sorry, but HAHAHAHAHAHA. whoever their sysadmin is needs to come over to RbD to spill IMMEDIATELY. alternatively, just keep fucking with their code, that is also entertaining. (i’m not seeing any contributors on the NS homepage right now)
If Julia’s serious about keeping NonSociety up and running, she needs to stopping dicking around with Greason and yoga, get back into that slutty Firefox costume and the most push up, cutleted bra VS can provide and start rubbing her reinforced mammary glands against the arms of some social stunted male programmers to convince em to fix it up asap.
Shit ain’t gonna code itself.
The only thing up is thlanding page. The hyperlink to e-mail box where they want you to reccommend new contributors still works.
I just suggested they get former Sec. of State Madelene Albright and former undispiuted middleweight champion “Marvelous” Marvin Hagler to contribute.
Here’s a few notes. (you too can see this by doing right click, View Source)
1) It says: “ADD VIDEO EMBED CODE HERE. SIZE MUST BE 400 PIXELS WIDE.” Then it’s the ballerina video with… width=”425″ lol
2) Partnerships and Archives have been commented out of the Navigation section. That’s pretty serious-ballz if new.
3) http://nonsociety.com/contributors.html works, but you have to get there via the Press page, and it only has Julia “Dating Columnist” and Meghan. From WAY back.
4) http://www.nonsociety.com/images/menu_contributor/question.gif <– I've heard this is the origin to RBNS
5) This is interesting…. But probably notes to themselves.
h2 class="replace our-contributors” Our Contributors
ul class=”contributors”
Summary: Something happening to the site in the wake of her biggest contract ever seems a bit coincidental. If I had to speculate based on Julia being a dickhole, she is cutting all ties to anyone who had anything to do with NS and probably had some clause where she owned all the content hosted. Perhaps whatever she signed said “We own everything about you” and hired some teenager to go remove links to all content so they can rebuild Julia’s image from the ground up (HAHAHAHAHAHHAAH)
KS, maybe you’re onto something. I was going to suggest that possibly Meghannaise bought the cite/site/sight from Donkey? (maybe old man Parikh is taking an early retirement buyout from Cisco & giving her (Megatard) her inheritance early) & she wants a built-in (heh) audience for her clothes line?
(sorry to harp on this, but meghan’s dad does not and did not work at cisco. he is an otherwise accomplished and rich tech dude, though. http://is.gd/AmUU7P )
I knew that was going to backfire on me!
@KS: ah, the contributors page, those were the good old days. i’m surprised it doesn’t say “know someone amaze-ballz? nominate them, yo!”
dammit. too many tags. i didn’t mean to bold everything. i swear it. i don’t think i am that important guys, serious. in fact i think i’m probably wrong about everything here.
flatface. i don’t know how to put this but.. i hope you made backups of all the brant postings. what am i saying, of course you did.
I’m so on your side on this one. They are Real!
For all her ashraming, her Warrior 2 and Triyakanasana poses are TERRIBLE.
Looks like somebody’s waiting for grampa’s will to kick in before she makes a decision about where to live.
The standard donkey technique of dropping tantalizing little tidbits about something amazing to come.
And then it pans out to nothing of import. She’s an equine damp squib.
Remember the teasers leading up to her international syndicated column launch.
The countless “loves of her life” who were going to with her forever.
The hints about the game changing net presence that turned out to be a series of vanity blogs.
The talk show that was going to be the web version of The View.
We’ve all seen how well her “great things to come” work out in the end.
Donkey math=The whole is actually less than the sum of the parts (or promises)
international syndicated column launch
$35 WEEK! THAT’S FUCK YOU MONEY, BUNNIES!!!!1!!!!
Disagree. The Pancakes saga was delivered, the fact that she was hobnobbing with the McCains baughles the mind.
The Sony deal is a big deal, given who her peers were in the commercial.
Donkey is capable of delivering–and then self-sabotaging.
How long did she last with McCain, 5 months tops? And what, two weeks total spent with him? Also how long did those Sony spots last, and did they actually lead to anything else/anyone knowing who in fuck she is?
Meh.
You missed my point.
She never closes the deal and it always fails to live up to her hard sell of it.
Sony was a flash in the pan and IIRC, she was quietly dropped off the radar while the other personalities’ spots kept running.
And unless you know something about a pancake wedding none of the rest know about, it was another case of her building a relationship up to be the “love of her life” with an amazing future that came to …. nothing.
I didn’t miss your point, I just don’t agree with it.
The fact that Julia was on Cindy’s radar is a feat, given her lack of talent and skill.
The McCains are all sleazy. I don’t get why that was such a feat. And he apparently can’t be bothered with her anymore, so oops!
OT: funny how Julie has stopped mentioning all things ‘military’ since Pancakes dumped her. No reason to suck up to Señora Cindy now.
Now, its all about hiking! yoga! fitness trainer! Is this for Greasy’s benefit? Is this gonna play out exactly as we called it from the beginning? One day, Julie will wake up and realize that love was right in front of her ALL ALONG!
Linking to the Greasy hatesite again for those catfolk who missed it previously.
DOESN’T TIP!
DIET PIGGY!
Another thing they have in common! Hatesites! It’s meant to be! Ah the romance.
Plus, can you imagine if you were just some random dude and not an omg media personality like lady donks-a-lot, and people actually went through the trouble of making a site devoted to how much you suck? Huh. Makes you think. Greasy must be a pretty sweet guy.
People who don’t tip are the scum of the earth. Ol’ Greasy appears to be as big a cheapskate as La Donks, reseller of gift cards. And now the ball-less wonder is snapping photos of Julie doing her fauxga poses? These two were meant to be, bunnies!
Totally agree about tipping. I feel what kind of tipper you are says a lot about what kind of a person you are. It’s one of those polarizing things imo.
i routinely gigantically overtip
they are always happy to see me next time
The thought of these two out at a restaurant – her demanding the servers take 700 pictures and yelling to make sure they get her “good side,” and him leaving something like a 9% tip – makes me want to follow them around so I can give a HUGE tip to the poor souls who had to deal with that shit show.
Exactly. I am probably dehydrated and definitely a little bit drink. But I will always over-tip if I can….
Exactly. Everyone should be required to be a waiter/waitress at some point. I ‘had’ to waitress in my late 20′s. I used to think it was beneath me, but go figure, it was one of the best ‘jobs’ I’ve had. Serving people, for me anyway, was a HUGE life lesson. And yes, ever since then, how a person treats a waitperson and how they tip is a very good indicator of their character.
Dr. Gary, that was weeks ago! She meant it – at the time! Feel free to relax! She’s onto the Royals now because they drove by her management team’s office! It’s worrisome that you remember this!
Of course it is. She is also trying to show him she is a sassy independent gal who perhaps doesn’t need 24/7 adoration.
Would still love to know what she said/did last week that caused him to unfriend her for awhile.
it’s kind of amazing to me that Greasy has chosen to interact EVEN MORE with the Donkey, since he has now known her about a year. most people who have a clue or are savvy to the ways of the Donk expressly forbid her from taking pictures, blogging or tweeting about them, but here is Greasy, doing fauxtoshoots, joining Twitter, FLYING TO LA FOR THE WEEKEND TO DO DONKEY HIKES. this dude must be a closet fameball, or what is Donkey giving him that keeps him coming back for more? i mean, this guy is gainfully employed, kind of needs to protect his reputation, is almost entering business school, and was already OBOed by Donkey for Pancakes. why does he continue to associate with the Donk? is it true love??!!
Birds of a feather…
Also, I can’t wait for the next time she OBO’s him. Because you know that shit’s gonna happen again, and it will be fun.
I’m holding out for a tell-all expose.
No one could be this lame… right?
birds of a feather
takes one to know one
NPD girls give the most blowjobs as long as you praise their technique after each one
Casey Anthony.
She probably lets him put it there.
My god these questions are so fake: http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/social-media/social-studies/114732579a.html?articleURL=http://rss.tmsfeatures.com/websvc-bin/rss_story_read.cgi?resid=201107121230TMS_____JALLISON_ctnss-b_20110712
“Wild and Crazy Millennial Needs ‘The Talk’”
so wait… therepy for julia???!!!
The point is: This is collegiate culture, and this novice employee has never known anything else. Should she know better? Maybe, maybe not. That’s also beside the point.
god, don’t ever change julia!
My favorite was the use of the word “personages.”
Personages.
Her writing, it makes me want to punch walls. I cannot.
New post coming?
There’s a goldmine of material in that latest column, geez effen louise.
Holy Donkey, that post is going to shock literally dozens of readers in Calcutta and wherever the fuck else it is that carries her shitty column.
Not from me.
Also, fuck, I was out of town and missed the dissection of last week’s “ad for Inkling posing as a colyum.” Shilltastic!
That is the dumbest yet. I love how she bangs on about there being no rules in social media..
“Nobody understands social media! It’s too new!”
her editor reads this and allows it to be published?
That’s fucked up.
If you’re dumb as Julia, every newish thing completely rips up the existing social contract and lets you go wild!
LOL
The fact that she gets paid anything more than a dollar for this writing just shocks me.
Point out specific Twitter gaffes and explain why they present public relations problems. Trust me, she’ll appreciate it.
JESUS, DONKEY, WHY DON’T YOU TAKE YOUR OWN FUCKING ADVICE? When we point out your specific gaffes, instead of “appreciating it,” you get Dadsers and Lasagna to bully us.
Hypocrite much?
Guest posts! Guest posts! I’m so worried about JP going away and reaching a level of decadence that separates him from us forever.
Because of course that would rock for him. But not us.
Yes! Give JP a lifecast and call him a donkey, because with all this posting he’s within a few photoshop edits of being Julia! (Just to be clear, my sarcasm level is also set to 11. Does that help?)
“I just wanted to share” = we got a free lesson from this yoga teacher and I promised her two tweets and six photos as an exchange.
Why you keep thinking teh peoples are teh stupidz Julie?
As a narcissist, Julia has to think that others are dumber than she is. She’ll stop condescending to people as soon as she gets a whole lot smarter.
At least she delivered on the shill, unlike Sweden.