Let The OMG OMG Randi Zuckerberg Sister of Mark OMG OMG Privacy Violations Begin

Already in the past few hours we’ve had a screengrab of their IM conversation in which Donk is so cleverly comparing Randi’s baby to a puppy — OMG hahaha don’t take it so seriously LOL LOL — and now she’s posted a photo of the new mother nuzzling her infant which I refuse to repost because SWEET MOTHER OF FUCK it’s an intimate photo of a new mother nuzzling her newborn and so why the hell is this tactless sow posting it to the Internet?? Why??? Jesus!

Why was she posting photos of that other baby all over the Internet other than to show the world that she looks skinny. What??? Is wrong with this donkey and why is she such a ridiculous donkey?? Boundaries! Discretion! Donkey, hear my plea, and show that you have some! These aren’t your babies to exploit!

Instead I’ll leave you with this because it’s what she deserves for failing to understand, for YEARS, that some things are sacred, for the love of fuck. And Randi, protect your baby. You don’t want him getting sucked into this hellish maw filled with kale nectar, Pancakes batter and bitter bile.

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113 Responses to Let The OMG OMG Randi Zuckerberg Sister of Mark OMG OMG Privacy Violations Begin

  1. KashMoney says:

    Ashton, how can we hide?

  2. Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

    Headed back into SF so I can decimate @TaylorGreason in a rousing Friday afternoon game of tennis hide the pescetarian sausage.

  3. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    hisssssssssssssssss
    [img]http://visual.merriam-webster.com/images/animal-kingdom/reptiles/snake/morphology-venomous-snake-head.jpg[/img]

    • God says:

      This is what happens when you swallow whole cupcakes.

    • Amuse-douche says:

      I work in a restaurant and we call large groups of catty women “snake pits”. You can literally hear them hissing from the sound they make when they say their s’s. “Sssso Sssstephanie, I hear your husssband’s job is not going sssso well. How are you holding up?” Finished off with a big smirk.

  4. JuLIAR Allison (will never the learn button) says:

    I love that Randi’s response is actually quite funny. *That’s* how to do humor Donks. You’ve got four hooves, use one of them to push that damn learn button!

  5. mcakes: Taste the passion! says:

    [img]http://www.pimp-text.com/temp-images/5/972/pimp-pimp-130835509657902.gif[/img]

    That is all.

    • Dear Heart says:

      She was particularly vile this week. I used to watch her with some sympathy…she was ridiculous but harmless. NO one shows their true colors when things get slightly rough more than Julia…and it turns out she is just absolutely full of vile bile inside. At this point I really think she’s a sociopath.

  6. Dear Heart says:

    So predictable…the iPhone shot so that WE KNOW DAMN WELL SHE’S TALKING TO RANDI and then the photo. I’ve never seen a friend used a prop more than this in my life.

    She left her mother’s side by her grandfather’s deathbed to do this. She is a disgusting husk of a human.

    • mcakes: Taste the passion! says:

      I love how momser’s comment over text is “It means A LOT to me that you both [JA and Britt] care.”

      I’m kind of… confused. This isn’t them supporting mommy giving a speech for her Daughters of the American Revolution chapter, or entering her world-renowned Julia’s Mom’s Guacalole in the county fair sauce-off. This is her father, their grandfather… dying. Is it terribly out of the norm for people (especially grandchildren) to be completely uncaring when someone is about to lose a close family member?

      “Thank you for caring” just seems like such a bizarre response. I mean, my colleague expressed those sentiments to me earlier because I’ve had three extensive conversations with her lately about her grieving process over giving away her dog of eight years. That is the kind of situation where it makes sense to be like, “Thank you for caring…” but in the history of forever has the typical human response to “My father is dying,” been a big “HAHA, sucks to be you! So which nail polish should I wear today?”

      Ohhh. Maybe I just answered my own question. Momsers is like, “It means A LOT to me that you care about something other than your own stupid self for once. I feel SO BLESSED that you took time out of your busy schedule to acknowledge my grief and your grandfather’s imminent departure. I know how hard it is for you to grab hold of your pelts with both hands and yank your enormous hinge-jawed head out of your ass, so this really means A LOT to me. I expected you to ignore it completely, so thank you. It really does mean A LOT that you cared enough to stop by to kiss pa-paw goodbye, cry on my shoulder about poor pa-paw dying — the same week you’d already been stood up, no less — and pick up the gold card. It is so hard going through this right now; that is why it means A LOT to me that you care enough to check on me. Thank you, Julia. It comforts me to know that when I am dying, you might come and kiss me on the head, too, if we happen to be in Chicago at the same time. Again, it means A LOT to me that you care.

      P.S. I know you were only here for about half an hour, but have you seen pa-paw’s wedding rings and gold cufflinks? We thought they were on the bedside table, but we can’t find them anywhere. Anyway, have fun in San Francisco!”

      • Frequent Liar Miles says:

        You know, I have always felt bad for Robinbogger. She’s no dummy (and can spell A LOT properly, which probably took her years to drill into Jackfailtoobad Agog Borschtmeister), but as a mother (as well as As a Woman), I can understand you love your kids no matter what (and Can’t Eat Pasta.) I am sure that she has always set the bar low for Donks, but at least she has Britt to compensate.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Could the ‘support’ have to do w/ bolstering Mom$er up to deal w/ some dicey family dynamics, maybe? I imagine there’s some very juicy history there anyway, & WTH is the story w/ Gramp$ no longer living in Chicago at the Holibray Inn?

        I know my sibling who’s a recovering you-name-it used to have some near set-backs when dealing w/ this kind of stuff, & I have this inkling suspicion that Mom$er is kind of episodic in ways that have to do w/ Donkey’s weird alcohol issues.

        * I can’t articulate this for crap; sorry if that’s nonsensical.

      • Dyspeptic says:

        I am really sorry that I have been reduced to saying this after all these years of following her shenanigans, but…god, I just hate her.

      • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

        No, this is not normal. I’m visiting my chronically ill mom and my 18 year old son who has just graduated made the 7-hour trip with me for four days. I’m sure he’d rather be with his friends but he loves his grammy and lets her show him her scrapbooks and watch Singing in the Rain.

      • Waffleycakes says:

        Yeah. I’m going to go with Momsers being used to Jules never caring and hence happy about ANY acknowlegement on her part.

        Although…when my grandma died on the other side of the world, I flew back with family and then stayed in a different city with my other set of grandparents for most of it (aside from the funeral). Sometimes it really IS best for the grandkids to not be underfoot. But then and again, this was a house in a ridiculously crowded asian country that really did not have space for me to crash at.

  7. Albie Quirky says:

    Oog.
    Also, urg.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      I wonder if Randi would be such a sought-after friend by Donkerina if she (Randi, that is) had changed her last name when she got married?

      • Dear Heart says:

        If that happened Brayella Deville would still make a point to call her Randi OF FACEBOOK AND MARK ZUCKS’S BROTHER! The same way she was crowing about Nick Bilton..OF THE NYT earlier today.

        Never in my life have I seen a complete fucking NOBODY who thought she deserved to be a somebody.

        • Convenient Feminist says:

          “Never in my life have I seen a complete fucking NOBODY who thought she deserved to be a somebody.”

          A thousand times this. Unfortunately, I’m acquainted with a few of these.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          You rang?
          Wrong #!

        • Dyspeptic says:

          Nick Bilton, whoever he is, has got to be the most idiotic tool of the New York Times if he is meating with Donkey. Please. I know plenty of really GOOD people at the NYT and they would no more meet with JA than they would fall down a well.

        • JFA says:

          I’ve said almost the exact same thing before about her. It’s really sad.

  8. donk, donk. who's there? says:

    did she delete the grandfather tweets?
    i hope so.

  9. Jordache and the Pelts says:

    Birth is part of life, haters…

    • mcakes: Taste the passion! says:

      I read this as, “Bitch is a part of life…”

      Which makes me giggle a little, because #Iam12.

  10. cupcake cray cray says:

    and babies make much tinier and cute props than dying octogenarians.

  11. sad lilly says:

    Having your first kid is really magical. My best to Randy and her husband. JAB, STFU.

  12. Donktor Idiotbox says:

    OT: Catbitches, you bunch of bullying alkies, I need a nice wine recommendation for a date night! Could you please help? Grazie!

    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      OMG, it is rosé season, even here in SF, where the fog is closing in right now (right on schedule.) French rosés are a good value — many to be had for under $15. I am drinking this Provencal one as I write this: Chateau de Rouet. Watch out, though, they go down almost too easily (wait a minute; I just drank a half a bottle and it’s still half an hour before my friend shows up. Luckily I have more in the fridge.)

      • jane says:

        where did you buy it? i need some. (in SF)

        • Frequent Liar Miles says:

          Ferry Plaza Wine Merchant and also at Falletti’s. It’s in a bottle with a waist and is the prettiest amber-rose color, so is very attractive in a table setting.

          • jane says:

            i live 3 blocks from Falletti. ZOMG! Will buy tomorrow! Thank you! Servicey!!!!

          • Frequent Liar Miles says:

            Also at D&M on Fillmore, I believe. Not sure, but they have some other lovely rosés.

          • Frequent Liar Miles says:

            If you don’t find it at Falletti’s (sometimes they don’t have it), a good alternative is the Bonny Doon Vin Gris de Cigare — totally French style and yummy. Don’t be put off by the screw cap.

          • Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

            not a rose drinker here, but mr. meowserton and i just bottled our 2010 syrah last weekend. will have to bring some if/when a catlady meetup occurs.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            A vintner walks amongst us???? Niiice!
            **swoons**

      • Donktor Idiotbox says:

        Thank you, dear heart. May your mother never kick you out of the basement.

      • lindsbrooke says:

        I love Gamay Rouge. I live in GA and can’t actually get it, but my catboy’s dad orders it here and it is yum. I know it is made in CA so maybe you can it. On the winery web site it says it is $18.00 a bottle which is kind of pricy for me. The winery is V. Sattui.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

      Unsolicited summer beer rec (in case anyone ventures into that territory): Lindemans Gueuze Cuvée René. It’s light colored, fairly sour, lemony. A bit like champagne with more earthiness and astringency. Other Lindemans products not recommended, but this one is excellent. This beer is reasonably widely available.

  13. jane says:

    I’d recommend this but the Meowlot is sold out.

  14. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    WTF w/ this goofy fauxto? She’s not playing at that moment, she’s standing on tippy hooves & balancing the weight of her rafttass by holding the net!
    [img]http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmyp0q8qpO1qz6dlko1_400.jpg[/img]

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      p.s.
      Are those her 3-day-clomp “JULIA!” tennies?

    • Dear Heart says:

      I bet she absolutely sucks at tennis.

    • Donksers says:

      Gee, I don’t suppose she posted that tennis picture for JACK MCCAIN’S benefit, did she???

      I hope he also notices that she is now TOTALLY into babies…so nurturing, so motherly, so ready to have JACK MCCAIN’S babies!

      • Dr. Gary says:

        JarJarBinks Amidala Bantha is so transparent, she’s a jellyfish (tm a brilliant cat lady).

        She CLEARLY posted this to show Jack how skinny she is now. Although, considering he is no longer one of her FB friends, I HIGHLY doubt he checks out her blergh.

        • Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

          new game: attempt to recreate the JAB meme using only Star Wars character names! this will surely test my nerd skillz.

          • Amuse-douche says:

            How about JAB-a the Slut?

          • Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

            Jango Anakin Beru?
            i refuse to sully the name of admiral ackbar by using that as the ‘A’ name. admiral ackbar would definitely never the donkey.

        • Amuse-douche says:

          I feel like she posted it because of Randi’s baby nuzzling pic. Like, here’s someone sort of twice removed somewhat well known and her baby! Well, I don’t have a precious baby, which would be like Lily but better because I could dress it in costumes everday omg, but at least my stomach is flat and I’m wearing make-up! Tee-hee-haw! (I’m sorry, I had to steal that last bit).

    • Pink Palatian says:

      I think we’re supposed to be awed at how OMGtinyandcute she is, when really she looks like her entire body is lunging forward, an Elaine dance move in freeze frame.

      Donkey: Just A Butterface these days.

      • God says:

        Just A Butterface wins the JAB acronym game, point set and match.

        Buttah, sooooo waxy and melty.

    • DirtyLakeMichigan says:

      WTF? Is THAT??
      This picture makes absolutely no sense at all. Does she practice this in front a mirror??

    • Sausage Snappers says:

      No caption either. Out of context. Transparent = you’re doing it right.

    • Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

      look at mah belleeeeeyyy!
      seriously, just a sports bra? julia, gtfo.

    • darling dearest says:

      I hate it when she wears that hat.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Posted again for one reason — she’s in a pose that maximizes skinniness. It’s killing her not to type LOOK HOW SKINNY I AM!

      • solidarity cat says:

        This pose is up there with fauxgo in terms of awkward contortion…

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        She’s on tippy hooves to elongate the appearance of her back legs – standing normally (well, as normal as she widestance can), she’d look more like her usual figure.

    • --EVER-- says:

      Are the pelts out, or did she stuff them up into that hat? Looking odd, even without them

  15. Donksers says:

    I’ve always thought Donkey’s eyes look so evil in that picture of her holding the Zappo’s box. I’m noticing that the older she gets, the sadder her life seems. She’ll still be jobless and wandering aimlessly around the country when she’s 50 years old, sponging off her parents and looking for couches to sleep on.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Srsly. Who submits two or more parties to you car sounds & distractions? Not on a biz call, you’re not even remotely important, Donkey, never mind that important.

      That screengrab convo was contrived to redeem herself from appearing to be such a heartless cunt that she can’t put her couch-surfing aside momentarily & be of help to Mom$er & the elderly aunts & uncles about to bury their brother.

      The Stickney clan must hate the fuck out of the hack donkey of the family.

      • flotsam says:

        (a tiny little kitten with tiny little paws has a tiny little request: can you tell me how you do that fancy “embedding image” thing with cheezburger images? I have tried and tried and it always comes to an upsetting end. What might I be doing wrong?)

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          Flotsam: Look underneath the REPLY box, bottom right – see the CLICK HERE link that follows the ‘add image’?

          When you click that, a new mini box opens & in the aqua field is where you enter the image link. WordPress then shows text in the REPLY box that starts & ends w/ [ … ]

          HTH; (HTW)

        • Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

          first, use lowercase in the img tag. then, insert the picture’s URL (you can get it by e.g. right clicking a pic and choosing Copy Image Location). it should start with http:// and end with something like .jpg or .gif or .png, not .html or non-image extensions.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          Oh. Shit.
          I see know what you asked vs what I answered.
          #shutmeup

          • flotsam says:

            [img]http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/6/17/f6671d34-5433-41c9-bf20-ab0368f9e2fb.jpg[/img]

        • solidarity cat says:

          Adorbs. “Tiny little kitten” has really found her voice. I just hope she doesn’t become nonsociety’s next blogger but I think she has more integrity than that…

      • Live Dependently says:

        I think they have their own issues (like all families do). One time Julia facebook rejected her cousin on Momser’s side and it was captured on the old RBNS. I ended up reading that girl’s blog and she grew up Scientologist. Maybe they left or something but otherwise how well could Christian Momsers get along with her Scientologist sister? My cousin’s husband joined that group and it tore their relationship and family apart.

        • Live Dependently says:

          Wait I don’t think she rejected her, she made her a fan instead of a friend.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Oh that’s low! Donkey couldn’t ask Facebook’s sister how to ‘block’ someone in her ‘friends’ list so they wouldn’t see her piss stream of shills & vanity fauxtos?

  16. Jar Jar Bray says:

    All she read from the above post is:

    Blah blah blah she looks skinny blah…

  17. NorseHorse, Literally. says:

    I honestly don’t understand this exchange with “Christine Kelly” on NS, describing the guy who stood her up.

    Neurotic
    Caustic
    Damaged
    And totally witty
    SO YOUR TYPE

    CK replies “I love it!/ My perfect man.” Sarcastically, one presumes. In comments:
    “What happened to not bullying or being mean to people on the internet? Although we don’t know the name of the guy, you are still bashing him!”

    Donks: “HAHAH(sic) no he’s not like that – he thinks this is hilarious. This is his sense of humor.”

    Now, we only have her word for it, that Donk calling him neurotic, caustic and damaged is something he finds hilarious. She’s still calling him neurotic and damaged HAHAHAH(sic). I’m not convinced this person finds it as funny, but maybe he’s just glad he dodged a bullet there by standing her up. And had no means on earth of contacting her once the tele-gram service went down for the night and the pony express put the horses away. It was a misunderstanding! He’s damaged and neurotic, haha! And loves it when she blerghs as such! Remember, this was supposed to be a blind date, she’s not supposed to know him. But she knows him well enough to say he finds it a hoot that this chick he doesn’t know is saying he’s damaged and neurotic. HAHAH (sic)!!

    • Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

      julia is fucked up. whenever we criticize something, or describe it in brutally honest or unflattering way, there should be a law against meanies! when julia allison does it, HAHAH don’t take it so seriously, the party i am targeting finds it hilarious, NBD!

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        No shit. When she does it, it’s funny. When we do it, we are evil bullies who should be imprisoned. Everything’s cool as long as she’s not the target.

        • NorseHorse, Literally. says:

          Seriously, how does she know his sense of humor? A blind date means you haven’t met, right? But she knows him so well she throws around “neurotic and damaged” like that? And assures that he’s groovy with it? If it were a blind date, they wouldn’t even have met, so how would she know? If calling him neurotic and damaged was all “ff2 relax, it’s his sense of humor”, well how does she know this? And more importantly: uh, what’s so funny about calling someone neurotic and damaged, and then posting that IM screencap for the world (ha) to see? Missing the joke here. He’s not your friends Donks, you don’t know that “blind date” that stood you up. Seems a bit vengeful, the “joke” of it.
          Kind of brittle and humorless there. How would you know he’d be cool with calling him neurotic annd damaged publically before you ever met him? Something sick and off here. And won’t ever the Donk, no no.

          Overthinking this on the Franzia tonight, please forgive.

  18. Dear Heart says:

    Holy shit I’d never read this:

    “Julia Allison Baugher always liked to be the center of attention. Approaching eleven, Julia was grounded for backtalking and her birthday party was canceled. Undaunted, Julia snuck out of the house, rode her bike to her parent’s country club, and persuaded the club to set aside a private room for her. She threw a surprise birthday party for herself the next day trekking in a bakery cake on her Schwinn.”

    http://www.mediabistro.com/articles/cache/a10131.asp

    • Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

      yeah, that’s our jumanji alhambra beetlejuice for you. a narcissist since (at least) 1992.

  19. Open Jaw Traveler says:

    Side note – I am in SF for work for a few months. Don’t know the city, love food and wine, not a sociopath. If there is an interest in an anti-Donk meetup (we can mostly just drink rose and gab) I would love it. Working long hours and away from home.

    • mcakes: Taste the passion! says:

      We’ve actually got one planned. There was some discussion of July 4th weekend, but I’m not sure if that is still in the cards.

      Drop into chat sometime and get more info. I’d give you my e-mail addy, but, you know, C&D’s run rampant on people who make that error.

    • Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

      welcome, open jaw! and whether or not the meeting the weekend of the 4th happens, i won’t be able to make it (out of town). but any other time..

  20. "Lived together" is the new "We looked at rings" says:

    Yes, she looks like shit, but you can see just how quickly she’s gone downhill if you remind yourself of how she used to look just a few years ago. She seems uncharacteristically, genuinely happy here – but I guess she’s always happy with a camera AND a man focusing on her: http://vimeo.com/367423

    It’s scary how she’s ruined her face so rapidly.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Hmmm …. did Donkey remove a fauxto of herself from her blahhhg? I like to never found this in recent RBD commets:
      [img]http://i51.tinypic.com/depjif.png[/img]
      Anyhoo, what I want to point out the difference in the the fauxto above & the face on that video (look at what’s going on around the bridge of her muzzle!)

      • solidarity cat says:

        This was from her facey-space page. And I think it’s still there. And still so lame!

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          If you mean her Fakebook, I don’t have a link to that. Maybe I saw it on Titter? But spkg of removing fauxtos, there’s this that’s odd:

          JuliaAllison: Trouncing @TaylorGreason at tennis today (Reenacted Scene): http://lockerz.com/s/111701548

          Link = 404 NOT FOUND

          • solidarity cat says:

            Link is still working for me, not that that’s necessarily a good thing. So creeepy!

          • neverbotoxed says:

            How many takes do you think they took before she was happy with the angle?

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Maybe it doesn’t work for me since I don’t follow her on Twitter. Is it the same tennis fauxto or did she ‘recreate’ more than one ‘scene’?

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Just wanted to point out some similarities via google search of BAD NOSE JOB IMAGE:
        http://bit.ly/mNRa0f
        http://bit.ly/kN1fUZ
        That … ‘thing’… between the cheek & nose is skeeving me out.
        Donkey has double-decker ‘things’ going on there … ::shudder::

  21. Effing Ineffably Un-Effable says:

    That photo never ceases to disgust. In a long series of AWFUL donk pictures, this may be my personal pick for worst ever. Whatever “emotion” is supposed to be “conveyed” here is supplanted by SOUL DEVOURING CACODEMON to me.

    • mcakes: Taste the passion! says:

      She is the person for whom the term “CITM* shot” was invented.

      *Cock In The Mouth

  22. Fairy Tail: A Donkerella Happy Ending says:

    What?! Nobody’s connecting the bare abs to the eventual marriage plot to Greasy? Nobody thinks Pancakes was just a PR stunt from the Baughers/McCains? Nobody thinks the skinnygirl-sportsbra shot is really a plotline to subtly say GREASY is going to be the one even though she pretended “he is like a brother” or whatnot?

    • Dyspeptic says:

      oh, dear. I did wonder if the jockette look was a pitch to Greasyboy, who likes ’em outdoorsy.

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