What is it about “not broadcasting your personal life online” that she can’t quite grasp? What is behind the need to spew out her pain like she appears to be spewing out pumpkin innards above, when she supposedly cannot handle the criticism that comes with it? There can be only one reason, no? To make him feel sorry for her so that perhaps he’ll take her back. Next up: Some kind of illness and/or pregnancy scare.
I will never, ever the Donkey.
Because most days, I honestly cannot remember.
All I can remember is how much I miss him.
Why is it that with the ending of a relationship, some people focus on its flaws, but others (me) focus on everything that was right together? I do this EVERY TIME. It seems like it would be easier to view a newly past relationship in a harsh light (maybe of reality, or maybe of pessimism), but I can’t bring myself to do that. It seems disrespectful to what we had. Am I just making things harder on myself?
Starting on Friday, I’m headed to the ashram (again, yes, again) in upstate New York. Hopefully it will center me, allow me to regain my focus, and perhaps speed the process of moving on. I’m trying so hard … I’ve planned this upcoming trip to New York, then back for a big family celebration (including my brother and his wife) for my mom’s birthday, then a week in LA, and an intensive improv class here in Chicago. I’m throwing myself into work, both with the column and other items (um, I rewrote my entire press kit last night.) I organized my bathroom cabinets. I played with my dog. I watched Gossip Girl & GLEE. I talk to three or four friends every day. I’m trying, but it’s up and down, up and down. Some days are good. Others (like today), not so much.
I promised myself I wouldn’t grieve publicly, mainly because, while I don’t mind if you see the pain, I don’t really want him to know. So I go back and forth between finding writing/talking about it highly therapeutic and trying to put the whole thing out of my mind, pretend it doesn’t exist and (as my mother suggested) “fake it till I make it.”
I’m not sure which is the “right” way. Is there one?
UPDATE: Looks like Donk’s all-nighters paid off, because she successfully managed to plant this Donktastic item with the New York Post:
Jack McCain and media personality Julia Allison have called it quits. The 25-year-old son of former presidential candidate John McCain was set up with Allison, 30, by his older sister, Meghan, in November. They moved in together in early March but broke up this month after Jack, a military man like his father, learned he would be stationed in Guam for three years starting in September. “This is an amicable heartbreak,” Allison said in her blog, NonSociety. “As silly as it feels to write that out. We will stay friends, absolutely.” She declined to comment to Page Six.