Internet Asks Narcissist to Look At Herself, Narcissist Reponds By Asking You To Pay Bills and Read the New York Times

Alas, my bills are paid, and I’d rather read between the lines. This exhaustive commenting thread is just a goldmine of insanity and lulz.

Kelly M 2 hours ago
So, basically, what your telling your readers is do as you say, not as you do. I find your “I like the way sugar tastes” comment offensive. You rally your twitter followers with “Sugar should be outlawed” but then post your love of it in every other post. And then you wonder why people doubt your sincerity. So if your poor, you shouldn’t get to indulge, but if you have the extra income, standing in Whole Foods eating 4 candy bars is perfectly acceptable. I use to find you amusing, but as one of those people that cannot get a job paying more than $10.00 an hour right now, and needing assistance, you just lost a long time reader.

juliaallison 2 hours ago in reply to Kelly M
Okay. Sorry I offended you! I wish I didn’t enjoy sugar. I try to avoid it. But I think getting upset about this might not be the best use of your time.

Kate921 2 hours ago in reply to juliaallison
Wait, did you not just dedicate an entire post to discussing how people should not tell others how to feel? Why do you get to dictate what should or should not upset your readers?

juliaallison 1 hour ago in reply to Kate921
You’ve got to be kidding me.

Please, PLEASE find something more constructive to do on a Sunday night. Anything will do. Any old bills you’d like to pay? NYT to catch up on? Perhaps start your novel?

TKM 1 hour ago in reply to juliaallison
As a publicist, this is a pretty crap response, Julia. Obviously I’m not your publicist, but if I were, I’d recommend that you’d respond more like, I apologize for my posting about making sugar illegal, more that it should be limited, or not pushed by various government entities, and list articles about limiting sugar consumption.

You have a wide audience, you probably shouldn’t be alienating them.

Then again, I’m just a reader. Feel free to ignore/respond.

juliaallison 56 minutes ago in reply to TKM
Seriously? Okay, here’s what I’ll say. What I meant when I said “I wish sugar were illegal” or whatever I said is that I wish I didn’t have access to something that was so simultaneously delicious and crappy for you. People existed in a perfectly happy state for hundreds of thousands of years without Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. I wish we didn’t have them available.

All that said, I don’t know why I should apologize for saying that I wish sugar didn’t exist and also admitting that I like it. I don’t make policy. I cannot enact reforms that mean sugar will be illegal. I wish all we had was healthy food, food that was good for your mind and body. I strive every day to eat healthy. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail.

But I’m not going to apologize for expressing my actual opinions and they are as follows:

1) I enjoy the taste of sugar.
2) I believe sugar is bad for me (and everyone else).
3) I try to limit my consumption of it.
4) I make an intellectual distinction between limiting my consumption and talking about it in a joking way (like “I LOVE CHOCOLATE!”) and/or posting photos of things like pretty cakes.
5) For health reasons, I wish processed sugar products were not easily accessible / had never been invented.

That’s pretty much my final word on the subject. If you would like to continue to disagree with me, go ahead, but I really don’t have much else to say.

TKM 38 minutes ago in reply to juliaallison
I will also add that I lived in Crown Heights, where our grocery stores were pretty crap when it came to produce. However, a few blocks north? Farmers’ market and grocery store were produce was available for *very* reasonable prices. Do I think sugar should be pushed ahead of healthy living? Of course not! But if someone wants a cupcake, it shouldn’t be a political statement.

juliaallison 32 minutes ago in reply to TKM
I’m speaking about people who eat it as a primary source of calories.

TKM 42 minutes ago in reply to juliaallison
I do disagree with you. Your argument seems to be “I love sugar, it’s bad for me, I wish it were illegal so I wouldn’t eat it.” However? I don’t eat sugar, for the most part. It’s not difficult. Cut it out, have it as a once in a while thing. I had a macaron for my first sugar in a few weeks yesterday. Not the end of the world. Just have it on occasion! Sugar can be pretty freaking awesome when you have it in the form of a particularly awesome creme brulee or cupcake. Yeah, people shouldn’t have it every day. That’s common sense. However, it shouldn’t be banished.

If you’d like to respond to me like you did to Kate921, I roasted a chicken for my husband tonight, so he’s well-fed, I’m turning 27 next week, our apartment is clean, I have a full-time social media job and all of our bills are paid in full.

juliaallison 34 minutes ago in reply to TKM
I wish it were illegal so people who aren’t as wonderfully disciplined as you wouldn’t eat it as a major source of calories. As I’m sure you know, sugar is one of the primary causes of the MASSIVE obesity crisis we’re dealing with in this nation – an obesity crisis that ends with diabetes, heart disease, and hundreds of millions if not billions of dollars in health care expenses.

THAT is why I wish it were unavailable.

TKM 12 minutes ago in reply to juliaallison
I would also love to see statistics of people who consume sugar as a “major source of calories.” Are we talking cinnamon bun for breakfast and chocolate bars for lunch and dinner? Because if you include sugars from fast food, then that’s an entirely different demon than sugar. I’d be hard-pressed to find someone who consumes sugar as a primary source of calories, unless they solely live on Cinnabon, Frappuccinos, etc with literally no other nutrients (Double Downs and Big Macs would count).

juliaallison 6 minutes ago in reply to TKM
PS. “obesity-related illnesses cost New York State residents nearly $8 billion a year in medical costs, or $770 per household. ”

Yikes.

juliaallison 7 minutes ago in reply to TKM
Fast food is full of high fructose corn syrup. I would recommend watching “King Corn,” reading “Fast Food Nation,” or seeing the documentary “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead” if you want to learn more.

I would also look to any of the studies that associate diabetes with low-income areas. “Diabetes rates in the low-income neighborhood of East New York, for instance, are four times those in affluent Gramercy Park” – NYT – and this stat is just the beginning of this op-ed, which recommends that the food stamp program not allow sodas to be purchased with the stamps. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10...

TKM 21 minutes ago in reply to juliaallison
I wouldn’t call myself “wonderfully disciplined” so much as “just don’t eat crap regularly.”

I will agree with you that sugar should NOT be a primary source of calories. The Paleo/Primal diet, as well as the Atkins diet, are pretty rad sources for this. Contrary to popular belief, neither is comprised of bacon! and steak! and pork rinds! Both push vegetables as the primary component, cutting out sugar, promoting veggies, healthy fats, etc. (and grains/gluten, which you might actually prefer, seeing your gluten intolerance.) So! Do I still think sugar should be illegal? No, because people should be allowed to make their choices (including tobacco, which, if you outlaw that, then outlaw alcohol, and welcome to a riot).

juliaallison 10 minutes ago in reply to TKM
We don’t allow kids under 18 to consume tobacco and kids under 21 to consume alcohol. I think it wouldn’t be ridiculous to ban soda and candy for kids either. Riot or not, they’d be a lot healthier, and some studies say that they would be less medicated (for things like ADHD, etc).

Plus, the fact is, people are not allowed to “make their own choices” when they have nothing healthy to choose. High fructose corn syrup has, for years, been supported and subsidized by the government (you should watch the documentary “King Corn” or read the book “Fast Food Nation” if you’re curious about the subject.)

Part of the problem, ironically, IS choice – there are not enough healthy food choices in America, particularly for low-income families. I used to work at Stateway Gardens – a housing project in Chicago (now torn down) – during the summer before college. They couldn’t get a healthy grocery store to come to the area, so the residents were forced to purchase food from the convenience stores on the corner – which, of course – sold only snacks, candy and soda. These same residents were frequently obese and had a multitude of health problems (my job was to match them up with the proper governmental programs to help them with various needs, including food stamps).

Access to healthy food (and education about what food is actually healthy) is a HUGE problem, and should be a top priority of our government. It looks like Michelle Obama has taken on healthy eating as her pet cause (at least for kids), but that’s just a start.

Just telling people to not “eat crap regularly” is fine for those of us with access to healthy food and the education to eat in a way that supports our bodies, but many Americans are not in that boat.

manx885 4 hours ago
Please don’t take this as a “hater” comment, because I am genuinely curious, but how exactly did you go from talking constantly about the toxic effects of sugar and how people on food stamps shouldn’t be allowed to purchase sugary goodness to talking about your love of sugar in 50% of your most recent blog posts?

juliaallison 2 hours ago in reply to manx885
I love how sugar tastes but I don’t think it’s good for you. That’s pretty much it.

manx885 30 minutes ago in reply to juliaallison
Right, and that’s fine, but you made it more offensive and complicated than that when you went on a rampage about controlling other people’s consumption of sugar. I often feel the same way that you do about sugar being delicious but terrible for me and wish there weren’t so many glorious treats out there for me to sample. However, I wouldn’t go on record as saying that people on food stamps shouldn’t be allowed to use their food stamps to purchase it. Just as you’ve said several times, sugary products can be nice treats on a rough day, and lord know that people on food stamps probably have rougher days than you and I combined.

Sorry if you feel like people are attacking you, but I think the focus of their animosity right now is on your comments about not allowing poor people to have it but then gratuitously posting all about how often you eat it/crave it. I know it’s maybe none of our business, but by having a blog and trying to attract readers you have to understand that every now and again something you say will raise concerns amongst your fan base.

juliaallison 22 minutes ago in reply to manx885
I was actually just responding to a Fast Company article which said that people on food stamps shouldn’t be allowed to purchase candy and soda. I didn’t come up with that idea!!! I just said that I wished sugar were illegal for EVERYONE.

I honestly don’t care what people think about my views on sugar. I’m sure people have all sorts of views about alcohol or drugs. Some people feel alcohol and drugs should be illegal. Others feel they should be legal. Personally, I have no trouble avoiding alcohol, but I also think it’s not great for most people, and I’m glad our consumption is limited, as a society. Drugs, same thing. I don’t have a problem with it, so I personally don’t need them to be illegal, but I’m glad, for the good of society, they are.

My point was only that sugar – ie, candy and soda – should be treated in the same way that alcohol or drugs are: it is dangerous to our bodies, leads to numerous health complications and is not great for a healthy society.

OBVIOUSLY I am not saying that an occasional CUPCAKE is an issue here. If that isn’t obvious, forgive me. Just the same way that most people don’t feel an occasional glass of wine is a problem. But the obesity crisis suggests that the “occasional cupcake” is NOT what is happening within our society. What is happening is that people are relying on junk food to get through the day, every day.

It is a testament to how profoundly dumb Julia Allison is that, despite having full control over what comments are published on her blog, she allows well-reasoned, critical comments through despite being incapable of responding coherently and intelligently to them.

But, really, Julia Allison has a point. She just wants to help ALL THE POORS so they can quit being such disgusting diabetic fatties that are driving the cost of health care for ALL THE GIRLS (read “for Julia Allison”) to staggeringly unaffordable levels (read “not free”).

At this point in our little online reality show, it is, well, pointless to point out Julia Allison’s inconsistencies. We’ve recycled through plot lines so much that Julia Allison deserves some sort of hippie sustainability award. I just find it interesting that she mentioned another job that no doubt Dadsers must have pulled strings for her to get and no doubt she spent it sitting around, bitching about how disgusting and gross all those diabetic poor people were.

What I want to know is who is she sucking up to at Fast Company, and for what purpose? Does she feel the need to get on the cover of another magazine, or is it as simple as there is some dick that she wants to sit on?

At least she is finally going to stop publicly grieving:

JudyM
Sorry, but I’m confused by the tone of this and other recent posts. You were *so* devastated by your recent break-up and you are still very much in love with Jack. You wrote a long post two days ago about how you are grieving. But this exchange with an ex-boyfriend (your most recent ex before Jack) seems oddly jolly and  flirty. And the other posts – about your holiday plans, about your dad in the garden – they sound like they’ve been written by a completely different person than the one who wrote about grief and mourning only a few days ago. Could you please tell us some more about where you are now, emotionally?

Julia Allison
um … basically I decided not to grieve any more publicly, for a variety of reasons. For the time being, I’m going to write in my journal about it. I said my piece, I have to go through the rest of this alone.

Re: Taylor – he’s just a friend – we’re not in any way romantically interested in one another. Our break up was mutual and amicable, and we were friends during my relationship with Jack. I wouldn’t describe us as flirty, we just laugh a lot together. He’s more like a brother.

I know I send flirty someecards to my brother complimenting him on his gigantic, girthy cock. That’s not gross or disgusting at all. But at least she finally learned that a Pancakes pity party is one that is best thrown offline.

Oh wait. . .

I miss him so much.

*facepalm

 

 

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219 Responses to Internet Asks Narcissist to Look At Herself, Narcissist Reponds By Asking You To Pay Bills and Read the New York Times

  1. Julia's Too Small Tutu says:

    Ashton, how do I pay MY bills?

  2. nosrsly says:

    My favorite line has to be: “Drugs, same thing. I don’t have a problem with it, so I personally don’t need them to be illegal..”

    This adult American woman with a political science degree from OMG Georgetown believes that the purpose of making things illegal is to help people out with self-control. She *doesn’t need them to be illegal* because she doesn’t have a drug problem, but she’s *glad* that they are illegal because all those other assholes out there out there who do have problems need the government to save them from themselves.

    It’s funny because since she *tries not to have* political views, we so rarely get to hear her thoughts on anything other than herself. Little episodes like these are a glimpse into the deep chasm of her craziness and stupidity. Normally we’re just seeing the surface of it.

    • and, and!! this: but I’m glad, for the good of society, they are.…Because the “War on Drugs” has really benefitted every level of society! Yes!

    • Sausage Snappers says:

      That line you quoted is so telling. Her political views are always about her and her motives at the moment and not what’s best for everyone. “I I I I I”

    • Jacy says:

      By that logic the Internet should be illegal because she has absolutely no self-control when it comes to posting her shit online, and it’s caused her the most grief of all.

      OUTLAW THE INTERNET, OBAMA, BECAUSE JULIA ALLISON HAS NO SELF-CONTROL WHEN IT COMES TO RUINING EVERY RELATIONSHIP WITH HER ONLINE SPEWINGS!

    • Stage5clinger says:

      I (and I’m guessing I’m not alone in this) would pay fuck you money to watch this nincompoop in an actual debate (as opposed to her tantrum-filled “discussions” on her blergh) …. she is so full of logical fallacies, inconsistencies, weird absolutes and just general fail that she would be utterly trounced. I’m sure this is why she, by her own admission, had to come up with diversionary tactics during her high school debate years….. Where is HS debate partner Judy when we need her?

      • mcakez is tots hotsy totsy to tie the knotsy says:

        If you’ve never seen the panel discussion she elbowed her way into at SXSW a few years ago, it tells you all you need to know about her in a debate: she interrupts constantly, talks over people, gets defensive and shrill, has nothing particularly insightful to say, is rarely on-topic, and makes everything about her…

        I know that I just described her entire life right then, but for real, that panel discussion gives you a clear sense of her ‘as a debater.’

  3. Imminent Meltdown says:

    I wonder which “him” she really means?

  4. 4chan is my internet hugbox says:

    If you want to be sure of keeping it intact, give it to no one, not even an animal (treat them as accessories and leave the caretaking to others). Wrap it carefully round with hobbies (blogging, stalking) and little luxuries (chocolate bars and cupcakes); avoid all entanglements (charities, work, friends). Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin (or clam dungeon) of your selfishness (dead horse at this point).

    Does she think C.S. Lewis was recommending self-love? Because she certainly seems to be following this “advice” whole-heartedly (see what I did thar?)

    • 4chan is my internet hugbox says:

      O god, another comment fail for me — this was for a different post. Whatevs, it doesn’t seem as funny to me now. Note to self: don’t comment before your morning coffee.

      • 4chan is my internet hugbox says:

        Double fail. This IS the right post. All the sugar talk from High School Debate Donkey made me think it wasn’t. (I’m gonna have to blame this one on Julia. Again.)

  5. Blinky, Fat, Flapping Fuck - I'm Boycotting Sweden! says:

    Without having to read through her mindnumbing babble, what’s the other job that Dad$er lined up for his Epic Donkey of FAIL?

    • Brayday Cray says:

      “I used to work at Stateway Gardens – a housing project in Chicago (now torn down) – during the summer before college. They couldn’t get a healthy grocery store to come to the area, so the residents were forced to purchase food from the convenience stores on the corner – which, of course – sold only snacks, candy and soda. These same residents were frequently obese and had a multitude of health problems (my job was to match them up with the proper governmental programs to help them with various needs, including food stamps).”

      • Sausage Snappers says:

        We’ve never heard about this before, which makes me think she’s dropping another turd of lies.

        • Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

          Either lies or by “used to work at” she means “volunteered at this one time because Daddy said I should.”

      • Blinky, Fat, Flapping Fuck - I'm Boycotting Sweden! says:

        Thanks, Brayday Cray! Like SS, I also doubt this ever happened.

      • 4chan is my internet hugbox says:

        “now torn down” — so don’t even try to verify this, bunnies, because the records were all buried underneath the rubble.

        • Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

          Hahaha did you hear about Julia’s newest plan that she plans to work towards? Sabotaging/reformatting all hard drives containing information on her that is more than 7 days old.

  6. darling mrs. melissa sue says:

    This is my favorite part: What I meant when I said “I wish sugar were illegal” or whatever I said .

    She doesn’t even know what she said!! But she will defend it to the death! Absolutely no hesitation, not a single second of doubt. She is never wrong. Everyone is a hater.

  7. Onehundredcats says:

    Again, her use of “sugar” makes no fucking sense.
    Julia, there are 3 kinds of foods we eat:
    1. Protein
    2. Fat
    3. Sugar (carbs)

    If she means HFCS or high calorie, low nutritionally value foods then she should specify. You’d a thunk she would know that after watching Spurloch’s “Supersize Me”.

    Also, she is the MASTER of skirting around the issue (meaning whatever question is directly asked of her).

    • BJ KELLY says:

      Right! Because if we were to ban sugar, it wouldn’t be just candy bars; we’d have to ban every fruit and piece of bread out there.

      Wait, but omg everyone would be so thin maybe she has a point.

      • Princeton Reunions is coming up again... says:

        This misunderstanding, alas, is deeper than Julia. I recently had a conversation with my roommate’s girlfriend, a nice woman with one undergrad and two advanced degrees all from Ivy League institutions, who asked me if I wasn’t eating any carbs with my dinner and looked baffled when I gestured at the HUGE PILE OF TOMATOES I was dicing.

        • AFGHANI says:

          I would’ve doubted this story (or claimed it was limited to lower Ivies like Cornell and Brown), but then my senses were assaulted by Katrina and Jordan in the past year. So, sadly, I believe this. It goes without saying that there are many, many people from regular colleges who are smarter than these people.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            regular colleges

            I will never stop LOLing here.

          • mcakez is tots hotsy totsy to tie the knotsy says:

            Afghan, how can we learn?

          • JFA says:

            Um, are you for serious? So until you encountered Jordan or Katrina you had no idea that someone from one of your vaunted “upper Ivies” could be a dumbass? Can you get your head out of your own ass for even five minutes?

          • Pink Palatian says:

            Oh, jeez.

            Some of us who went to “regular colleges” did so not because of a lack of intelligence (I have a Mensa credential I can show you) or gumption but purely because we lacked the funds. So, yeah, I went to a “regular college” and now have almost $200k in student loans (thank you, capitalized interest!), because I had to pay my way through my BA (took me 13 yrs to finish) and two MAs without a single dime from my parents. Thanks for reminding me of how none of this matters two shits because all of it was done at a “regular” college.

          • Sausage Snappers says:

            What Albie said but much more kindly than what I was thinking.

          • nosrsly says:

            No offense Afhgani, but you seem like a terrible person.

          • cupcake cray cray says:

            I went to college up route 1 at that ‘shitty’ state school, rutgers, and I’ve spent a lot of time in princeton, even to this day. nearly every princeton student I’ve ever met on or near campus has seemed quite full of himself, but I always thought that maybe it was just me, with my state school chip on my shoulder. clearly, it’s not just me.

          • JFA says:

            He really did say “lower ivies” and “regular colleges” LOL! And I WENT to an Ivy and it still surprises me that there are people like him at these places. Like how do people like this really exist?

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

      Agreed. It makes no sense. If she were only a moderately ignorant cunt rather than an astoundingly clueless thundercunt, she would probably say that she wants to discourage adding anything that fits the chemical definition of sugar to foods, but that unprocessed foods which/that naturally contain sugars are fine.

  8. Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

    I used to work at Stateway Gardens […] (my job was to match them up with the proper governmental programs to help them with various needs, including food stamps).

    WHY would Donkey have that job? Not out of the goodness of her (black, sugar-coated) heart, that’s for sure. As a punishment? For sending an XXX-rated gift to that boyfriend whose parents caught her slutting it up in their home, maybe? I’m thinking the ‘summer-before-college’ time-frame would have been too late to be influential on her Indiana State college application …

    Color me skeptical.

    • My nostrils are TOTALLY symmetrical! says:

      I mean, good for her for having a job like that but why the fuck didn’t she mention all of that when the first Twitter fight came out about that stupid Fast Company article? Seems like that would at least boost her argument a little. I just don’t get it. It’s like she forgot she knew about the problems that lower income people have re: healthy food and ding! Just remembered!

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      Oh please. I’m sure this was some volunteer gig that lasted a hot second.

      • wonkeye says:

        Exactly. She probably went on a day-long field trip to their offices. NFW this bidge would work with the poors. They’re FAT!

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I am betting it was some high-school requirement for community service. Right? That’s all it was.

      • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

        Nope. It was an actual job, I have been told. One that she, of course, didn’t excel at in the least.

        • Canklehausen by Proxy says:

          I am totally shocked by this.

          But, of course, she clearly didn’t manage to learn anything about The Poors while she was there. Stupid classist bitch.

        • 4chan is my internet hugbox says:

          I had a friend who crammed in a bunch of volunteerism during the summer before college. She was trying to beef up her accomplishments, with the idea of entering the Miss America pageant. The application had a section on listing your charity work.

      • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

        I bet you’re onto something — Community Service & then ‘whatever’ was expunged from her record?

    • Julia's Permanent Braycation from Reality says:

      I really would love to see her resume. Judging only on all the different jobs she casually claims to have held, her work experience would be so varied and useful to her, if she ever applied for a real job. If she really were to have all the experience she mentions having, it’s such a waste of useful, competitive job experience. I’m applying for jobs in non-profit, social service, and education fields right now, and if I had experiences like hers, I’d be so much more confident about my resume. Too bad she’s probably never even USED a resume.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

      Perhaps she had a high school community service requirement that she needed to finish up?

    • Pink Palatian says:

      I HIGHLY doubt this “job” ever existed. Stateway Gardens was in the ghetto, like the REAL ghetto, not a pocket ghetto surrounded by million-dollar homes (it’s what’s now Bronzeville, but ten years ago it wasn’t anything near what it is today). I call 99% bullshit.

  9. Bouncing Little Burro says:

    This is such an utterly stupid argument.

  10. ShesJustStupid says:

    My favorite part is when she basically says “I linked to an article making a point about food stamps and junk food but don’t read into that.” HUH?

  11. Care Bear Stare (Pelt-a-Polozza) says:

    She is so bat shit crazy. She posted about missing Pancakes because she realized, “OMG! Now people hate me! Back to loving me, people! Back to feeling bad for me! Forget about sugar, I swear! I miss my boyyyyyyyyyyyyfriennnnnnnnnnnnd! See! Real fructose tears!”

    • Dyspeptic says:

      If I hadn’t been Dyspeptic for so damn long, I would be sorely tempted to adopt Fructose Tears as my new nom de hater.

  12. Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

    People are SO RIDICULOUSLY CREATIVE. I think that’s the biggest gift the internet has given us – the ability to enjoy everyone’s heretofore latent creativity. I truly believe we are ALL creative, but for so long we haven’t had an outlet or an inexpensive means of production, and now we do

    WRONG. There’s absolutely nothing creative about this crap video you posted to the internet. Funny how you keep contradicting yourself like that … just like your claims of being a journalist … you say it, then you go & post evidence to the contrary.

    • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

      Yes, after millenia of human history, we are just now discovering creativity in people.

      • Boomerang Slam says:

        She has said something similar before and I found it just as annoying. Just because you had no friends to share with doesn’t mean that people weren’t creative. Just because you couldn’t post it on the internet doesn’t mean that creative things weren’t happening. Its like – if she doesn’t see it then it doesn’t exist.

      • Lonely Little Brain Cell says:

        Art, Music, Literature: You are NOTHING, NOTHING compared to The Internet.

      • Brianna says:

        I like how the computer and internet access is a never before had means of ‘inexpensive’ production.

        So, a computer is anywhere from $300 to $500 for a basic, no frills model or netbook – of course these don’t come with photoshop or scanners or anything, so let’s count in a conservative $100 for some sort of software, and then another $30-50/monthly for internet access.

        Of course, you could go to the library, but then you’d need your own storage devices and deal with transportation and hours of operation and computer time limits.

        Or, you can get some paper and crayons! (>$5)
        Or paint on newspaper with a sharpie! (>$5)
        Or use found objects in a collage! (>$5)

        I mean, REALLY Julia? Really?

      • Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

        The Lascaux paintings and the Venus of Willendorf prove that the Internet existed MUCH earlier than the commonly accepted date. And Donkey is its Homecoming Queen!! So blessed!!!

      • Albie Quirky says:

        PAY NO ATTENTION TO THOSE LASCAUX CAVE PAINTINGS BEHIND THE CURTAIN

        (OT: If you have a chance to see the Werner Herzog cave movie, do it. Even if you think it will be boring, as my huscat did, I bet you will change your mind, as my huscat did.)

      • someproblems, mourning the future says:

        Lather, rinse, repeat.

        I think for sure that I railed against this claim of hers within the last 6 months, easily.

        She says this stupid shit all the time.

        It drives me crazy for many reasons.

        1) Basic intelligent problem solving is creative. People running errands at their desk engage in creativity everyday (if only Julie worked or put some actual effort into her column, she’d know this).

        2) Cooking, having a home life, personal style are all creative. She doesn’t know about any of these things since unless it’s Amy’s Chili or a man is buying it for her it’s not food; she’s an inveterate squatter/catalogue replicator; catalogue replicator.

        Man, I just kant with this bitch anymore.

        It’s too much stupid condensed into one place/person. And it’s a destructive stupidity.

    • Sausage Snappers says:

      Videos like that are a huge pet peeve of mine. It’s sweet that he did that for her but why share it? WHY?????

      • Sausage Snappers says:

        Oops sorry, I thought you had linked to that “proposal” video. I can never the donkey re: her gift wrapping video.

      • Skirt Pull says:

        I watched the video and loved the part about the two of them, but the casted and scripted part with the old people? A bit odd, I thought. A little cheesy and took away from the admittedly beautiful rest of the video.

    • Another Donkey, Another Stall says:

      What a gem. “I wish I had that glue, what is it? Stick glue? Yeah, stick glue.”

    • 4chan is my internet hugbox says:

      Latent bullies, latent creativity. Methinks somebody was labeled a “late bloomer” and has clung desperately to the idea that it’s still going to happen.

  13. diluted brain says:

    I can’t ever fully read her writing when it goes past a few sentences. She is such a boring writer that it shocks and depresses me how she gets the jobs that she does. It must be nice to be enabled by the parents’ connections.

    I found her rude to the commenters but perhaps her commenters were her anyway. If I had a blog, I wouldn’t argue right back with the few people that read it. It’s the stupidest argument ever – sugar is never going to be outlawed. Obviously you have sugar issues typing “CHOCOLATE!!” (or whatever it was) and then you go back and state sugar is bad. I will never the donkey.

    • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

      • Lily's Third Owner's Third Eye says:

        Ha! Yeah I agree I cant read her shizz. She is just incoherent and demented and inconsistent…
        Too tiring.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        Oh, my god, she really is like Cathy except without the office job. And the boyfriend. She’s even more pathetisad than Cathy. That must be some kind of record!

  14. Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

    What kills me is that she just will not concede that she said sugar should be outlawed. It’s there in black and white on Twitter, but she won’t admit that she said it.

    • DirtyLakeMichigan says:

      This is what I’m discovering about my SIL. It gives me the heebie-jeebies because even if you hit her over the head with the truth, she poo-poos it away w/ the wave of a hand, an eye-roll. Then attempts to treat the proof/truth, and the truth-teller, w/ the greatest of contempt.
      #Whatatwat

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        See also: My mother. Who employs another technique: Outright denial that she said/did most of the worst things she said/did, and accusing her children of making things up when reminded of them.

        • Sausage Snappers says:

          Lemme be narcissistic fora minute and say this is how I know I’m not a true narcissist*. When people call me out I’m usually like “Oh shit you’re right, I’m sorry!” I can’t imagine just forgetting about stupid or shitty things I’ve done; I’m way too hard on myself for that bullshit.

          (*Following Julia and this blog has helped nip many of my selfish and narcissist tendencies. Thank you, Julia!)

          • Admiral of the Burro Fleet says:

            Completely agree. Observing and mocking Jabs has allowed me to take a magnifying glass to my own behavior and as a result, I think I’m improving my listening skills and becoming more empathetic in my offline life. Thanks, dumb Donkey!

        • Pink Palatian says:

          My mother, too. It’s a trait of borderline people, I think. My mom used to get mad at us and leave saying she was tired of being a mom, then come back a few hours later with groceries like nothing happened. When I asked her about it when I was an adult, she alternately denied doing it and justified her actions, saying I’d understand when I had children. (Which I do now, which makes me understand less.) This sort of memory is one of many reasons I hope Julia never becomes a mother.

  15. monster says:

    you guys! you guys! “I said my piece” !!!!! HAHAHA

    also, that vid from her friend “Andre”? Whenever she mentions a friend without prefacing their name with their personal history – high school debate partner, lemonade stand co-owner, first ever boyfriend, craft buddy – I am inclined to believe that they don’t exist. She’s been trolling wedding videos.

  16. Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

    Hey, Donkey …

    It’s obvious from your circular argument(s) above that you don’t have the courage of your convictions — you don’t even stick w/ what you think is right (I know, I know: it’s hard to back up your position when you were only parroting an article to begin w/, but ‘you meant it at the time’, right?) — instead, you waffle, then apologize for waffling, & at the same time you continue dissing your readers — WTF? BTW, you might want to cease & desist bragging about being on the HS Debate Team, yo! #NOTwinning.

    Quit worrying about the poors & deal w/ your own problems head-on, eh? Learn moderation & portion control where sweets (& other bad habits) are concerned. Here; knowing you’re too lazy to Google for yourself, I found an online list of books on self-discipline: TOP TEN BOOKS ON WILLPOWER / SELF DISCIPLINE

    p.s.
    Don’t bother w/ #9 Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi — it’s most definitely not your typical airport self-help book.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

      Donkey in HS debate = Donkey talking about herself for the allotted time while everyone else rolls their eyes and thinks “this bitch knows nothing about what she’s supposed to be talking about anyway.”

  17. KashMoney says:

    Project Meltdown 2011 is in full process.

    Caution: LULZ ahead

  18. pink pestilence says:

    God, these kinds of exchanges show just how stupid she is. She is unable to make a logical argument. And hearing some stupid privileged woman talk about social policies for low-income people living in food deserts is so fucking rich. And her whole “the only things that should be illegal are things that I have a problem consuming in moderation” is beyond moronic. And her sudden problem with poor fat people costing us taxpayers money? Because there are no fat healthy people or unhealthy skinny people? And no other reasons poor people might have have actual increased health care costs? I just can’t with her today.

    • Boomerang Slam says:

      I don’t think so. Those plastic shoes she keeps wearing should be illegal. Ditto for the plastic hair. And the stalking/harassing of ex friends and ex dates. And also those big bows on her head. And matchy-matchy outfits should be illegal too. Not just for the gross poors. For all the people!

    • also I think she learned everything she knows about food deserts from, uh, here.

      #RBDbetterthanMITHYP

    • Princeton Reunions is coming up again... says:

      I am also fairly sure that presenting her with the debate over social health care costs and early death would blow her mind—like, putting aside the fact that health is correlated to behavior and genetics far more than to size and pretending that the only people who are unhealthy because of what they eat and who would be healthier if they ate differently are also fat people (hard to put aside, but still), don’t you think Julia’s increasingly creaky brain-circuits might just be unable to handle the fact that dangerous behavior (cf. smoking) may in fact save the taxpayer money? Someone should send her that “This American Life” episode about what a bad PR move it was for the tobacco industry to release their statistical study showing that smokers’ early deaths were actually quite cost-effective.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

      Things which Julia has trouble consuming in moderation and must therefore be outlawed:
      Pelts
      The Internet
      The color pink
      The words “ineffable,” “literally,” “frankly,” etc
      Parents’ second homes
      Insipid “inspirational” quotes
      Canned chili
      Uncompensated dog-sitting services
      Plastic surgery and injectables

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Well, yeah.

      I mean, look at her, with her sugar binges and nonsense. And then look at, say, my friend Lesley Kinzel, 300+ pounds of awesome. Lesley’s a locavore vegetarian who loves to work out and hike and swim. She’s got an interesting day job, writes like a dream (she’s the best thing in the new Jane Pratt joint, xojane.com, by far). She’s got a book deal. She’s got tons of friends. She’s happily married to a darling man.

      Lesley’s got everything Donkerina wants and can’t have. No wonder Donkerina clings to her belief in non-fat superiority, because that’s all she has to base her self-esteem on—the fact that her flabby, out-of-shape body happens to weigh a certain amount on the scale gives her the illusion that she’s healthy, mentally and physically.

      • Pink Palatian says:

        Thank you so much for bringing Lesley to my attention. I’ve gained a bit of weight over the past year or so because of my fibromyalgia and various medications (Lyrica, I’m looking at you!), and it’s had a serious affect on my self-esteem, as I considered myself quite fashionable before. This is just what I needed to remind myself that being 50 pounds overweight isn’t the end of the world. Yay for servicey catladies!

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Let me tip you off to one of my favorite fat fashion bloggers, Gabi at Young, Fat, and Fabulous. She is gorgeous and an awesome writer, unlike Donkerina and her posse.

      • pink pestilence says:

        yes!! I LOVE TwoWholeCakes! i’m so glad you brought her up- she is the anti-Julia.

  19. Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

    Who commented on the last post about her being radically more stupid than she was five years ago? Because it’s SO true.

    • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

      She really is devolving, isn’t she?

      • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

        It’s not just her IQ that has taken a plunge; I seem to remember she had something of a personality in 2006 (nothing sublime, obviously, but a personality nonetheless). Now the whole of her can be described by the terms used here. She’s an entitled, smug, spoiled bratty, classist, insufferable, narcissistic bastard person and THAT’S IT. Also sneaky and mean and overflowing with nast.

        • AllDayBray says:

          You try “playing a role” 24/7 and making every.single.fucking.little.goddam.thing.literally.everything be a carefully constructed lie in service of landing “fuck you money.”

          It would make you go batshit bonkers donkers crazy, too.

    • wonkeye says:

      She’s always been this stupid, she just had a better editor at Time Out. She’s definitely more nuts though. The whole turning-30/no-husband-on-the-horizon pushed her over the edge.

      • Sausage Snappers says:

        Yeah, and she was able to get away with her stupidity before her frog face started melting.

  20. Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

    All that waffling ass-hattery for nuttin’ — this is a new low for Donkey:
    MareMare BeachHair is an influential blogger & Donkey is not.
    Heh.

    “Samsung has just completed a cross-country tour involving influential bloggers and YouTubers to help promote their new Wifi enabled camera the SH 100 (retails for $199). I was honored to be involved…

    • Rough Launch says:

      Uh, yeah… “influential.”

    • Bouncing Little Burro says:

      I hate Mary. I can’t believe she is still trying to make this blogging thing work.

      • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

        No two ways about it, MMBH’s spelling & grammar are an insult to & major black eye for the Texas Public School System. Oy. I do, however, like that she seems to take her inspiration from the donkey’s liecast — so much of what she posts is nothing short of stealth-bitch piggybacks intent on making Donkey look even more foolish than she already does.

        • AFGHANI says:

          MMBH didn’t go to public schools.

          Her writing would be a black eye to USC, if anything.

          • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

            Had I known that MMBH only acknowledges Kincaid (not public, not cheap), I would have left off ‘public’.

            You know who else went there? Geo. W. Bush. Which two (of the Big Three) is his semi-literacy a black eye on Yale, or Harvard?

          • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

            * “As Governor of Texas, I have set high standards for our public schools, and I have met those standards.”
            * “You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.”

            ~ George W. Bush
            Yale & Harvard graduate
            (not no stinkin’ regular college’)

        • Frequent Liar Miles says:

          Well, she’s just wasting her time; Donkey doesn’t even know where Mary’s blogging these days.

  21. Sausage Snappers says:

    Julia, this is why people hate you. Your readers have tried for years and years to get through that thick neanderthal skull of yours but you refuse to listen or consider anyone’s points but your own unless you want to fuck them or use them for money. This is why we will never go away; we are perpetually frustrated that you don’t. fucking. listen. and better yourself. It’s a continuous cycle of frustration.

  22. LetItExplode says:

    Yes. Can we outlaw pelts?

  23. Blinky, Fat, Flapping Fuck - I'm Boycotting Sweden! says:

    I love how she can’t get over how good Christie Brinkley looks @ 57. It’s because of plastic surgery and injectables, you fucking moron! Donkey, you know all about those quite well, but unlike you, Christie pays top dollar for hers, so that it looks subtle and natural, not the freak show that you’ve become. She also doesn’t seem to have weird food issues, and she isn’t flabby – because she gets off her ass and exercises.

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      I thought that was a slam on Cindy, who just turned 57 and tweeted about it.

      • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

        Your comment caused me to look at Mrs. Nutterworth’s tweets — heh! — remember Donkey’s petulant temper tantrum (which she promptly tweleted) over UA’s flight delays? She *should* take a page from stealth McMama’s playbook:

        CindyhM1 Cindy McCain
        Trying to get to the Air Force Academy, but @UnitedAirlines a mess today!

        CindyhM1 Cindy McCain
        @UnitedAirlines 2nd plane. It’s broken too. Back to the gate. It would be faster to drive to Colorado Springs!

        CindyhM1 Cindy McCain
        @mspearma Never made it to our final destination last night. @unitedairlines flight crew was nice though.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        Jesus, she’s only 57? I thought she was a well-preserved 70. AWK-ward.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Christie Brinkley also has gorgeous bone structure, both in her face and her body. Her cheekbones are lovely.

      And she’s a very graceful woman, both physically and socially (at least on the basis of seeing her work the room at giant events; I’ve never really met her to talk with).

      Again, Donk is jelly.

    • Pink Palatian says:

      Funny, I saw that Christie Brinkley photo and marveled at how Donkey looks older than she does…

  24. wonkeye says:

    According to this article in the Guardian, Julie Albertson meets nearly every criteria for being diagnosed a psychopath :

    Item 1 Glibness/superficial charm
    Item 2 Grandiose sense of self-worth
    Item 3 Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom
    Item 4 Pathological lying
    Item 5 Cunning/manipulative
    Item 6 Lack of remorse or guilt
    Item 7 Shallow affect
    Item 8 Callous/lack of empathy
    Item 9 Parasitic lifestyle
    Item 10 Poor behavioural controls
    Item 11 Promiscuous sexual behaviour
    Item 12 Early behaviour problems
    Item 13 Lack of realistic long-term goals
    Item 14 Impulsivity
    Item 15 Irresponsibility
    Item 16 Failure to accept responsibility for own actions
    Item 17 Many short-term marital relationships
    Item 18 Juvenile delinquency
    Item 19 Revocation of conditional release
    Item 20 Criminal versatility

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2011/may/21/jon-ronson-how-to-spot-a-psychopath

  25. 4chan is my internet hugbox says:

    [img]http://i55.tinypic.com/nesv7l.jpg[/img]

  26. Princeton Reunions is coming up again... says:

    It irritates but does not surprise me that Julia Allison is unable to evaluate the specious claims of the OMG OBESITY EPIDEMIC (though someone should probably tell her that American obesity rates have been leveled off for years now, and that health care concerns labelled “obesity-related” and health care actually consumed by actual fat people—whose actual impact on health care costs is highly debatable). It DOES sort of boggle the mind, though, that she can drive some giant soundproof mental wedge between “sugar should be illegal” and “sugar is an important part of a balanced blogging day!”

    • Princeton Reunions is coming up again... says:

      uh, there should have been some “—are quite different things” in there before the close-parenthesis.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Well, and studies that show that the distribution of daily food intakes is pretty similar among the people who are in the “healthy weight” and “overweight” and the lower tier of “obese” BMI categories.

      And speaking of the “poors are fat because they eat too much sugar” myth, the studies that show that 44% of the obese children living in poverty consume considerably fewer calories than recommended would certainly take some ‘splainin’ away if Donkerina had the slightest regard for the facts.

      • Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

        “Facts are for nerds and uglies, not for a Homecoming Queen of the Internet like me! Tee hee! Tell me how tiny and cute I am!”
        -Julia

  27. Donksers says:

    She has the strangest habit of trying to shame people about how they spend their time:

    “Okay. Sorry I offended you! I wish I didn’t enjoy sugar. I try to avoid it. But I think getting upset about this might not be the best use of your time.”

    “Please, PLEASE find something more constructive to do on a Sunday night. Anything will do. Any old bills you’d like to pay? NYT to catch up on? Perhaps start your novel.”

    The first time I ever saw her do this was when she came storming in to RBNS screeching about suing JP and Jacy. She scolded the catladies for being online instead of being outside on a beautiful Saturday afternoon….too stupid, of course, to realize that she was online and not outside on that beautiful Saturday afternoon. Since then, I’ve seen this do-nothing, lazyass, fail-whale chastise people countless times for being online instead of doing something productive. The magnitude of her stupidity is incalculable.

    • Boomerang Slam says:

      Thats where my name came from!! The slam that is supposed to be about someone else or some other group – but that applies to her.

      And I will never get to do this unless its somewhere like now – so, you rang?!

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

      DON’T TELL DONKEY HOW TO FEEL WHILE SHE’S TELLING YOU HOW TO LIVE YOUR LIFE!!!11oneone

  28. ShesJustStupid says:

    I don’t understand why she RTs tweets about last week’s column? The Q&A about breaking up on facebook, right? She just tweeted it now. Isn’t a new one due out tomorrow?

    Also, she just published a long comment from someone still calling her out for glamorizing sugar and being rude.

    • for those who do not want to click:

      Hey, J, I feel like I am maybe partially responsible for setting off this avalanche of criticism. You recently reblogged a picture of a birthday cake from the glitterguide and I sincerely posed the question of why you were glamorizing a substance that you think should be illegal to sell to minors.

      It’s a personal issue for me because I’m diabetic. As you’re familiar with, so many celebrations in life — weddings, birthdays — are marked by the consumption of sugar and alcohol. I can’t have either. So while everyone else is toasting with champagne and digging into buttercream frosting, I will often be sitting by them, smiling wanly with a cup of water. It’s very alienating, especially because people always feel the need to ask me about it. I end up spending a lot of time deflecting personal questions from fellow guests about whether I’m an alcoholic, or trying to lose weight. Things you’d think no one would be comfortable asking a relative stranger.

      Anyway, I tend to confine my blog-reading to things like fashion blogs (almost never a mention of food!) or blogs by people who maintain specialized diets for health reasons (like the Gluten-Free Girl blog I referred you to a while back when you asked about recipe sites.) The things these bloggers revel in are pleasures I can share. I never feel myself to be on the outside looking in.

      I would think that as someone who has celiac, you would know this alienated feeling. I expected that after your diagnosis you would stop glamorizing flour-based baked goods (most of which I can’t eat either, since their glycemic index is too high.) I would expect that someone diagnosed with emphysema wouldn’t post photos of beautiful people smoking, knowing that seeing such images will spark nicotine cravings in herself or others. But you’re still doing things like posting pictures of yourself holding a Girl Scout cookie, stating that you didn’t eat it. Or alongside a platter of cupcakes at a party. And that doesn’t make sense to me at all.

      When I asked about this in the birthday-cake post, you just blew me off with “Haha, okay.” It was so dismissive… I almost wished you hadn’t approved my comment at all (you sometimes don’t, even ones that are perfectly innocuous, likely because life keeps you so busy) if you were just going to be condescending and treat me as if my question were insane. I’ve been really supportive of you in all my comments and here you were rolling your eyes at me in return. What happened to your mission to nurture an environment of online civility? Can’t you even be nice to someone who has been so supportive of you?

      You think sugar should be a controlled substance the way opiates are controlled… well, imagine if glitterguide posted a picture of a gorgeous woman with a heroin-loaded needle hanging out of her vein. Don’t you think it’s reasonable to question why, out of all the images of beauty and happiness and indulgence that they could have selected, they chose one of such an unhealthy behavior? Aren’t there many, many things we can love in this world that aren’t self-destructive? Why can’t we showcase them instead?

  29. ShesJustStupid says:

    Another thing that bugs me about her is her need to have her “choice” of leaving nyc validated by linking stupid articles, etc. This last one being “New York is great until it isn’t” or some such nonsense. Why make such a big deal out it? Stay, go…no once cares. Jesus. She’s so transparently jealous of her friends who are still here. I can only imagine she sees a lot of tweets and facebook updates about events they’re going to and it makes her nuts.

    • Donksers says:

      This. She can’t just leave New York and move on. She has to keep reminding everyone that those of you who still live there aren’t as evolved as she is. She’s got quotes and articles to prove it!

      • ShesJustStupid says:

        Didn’t she move home in September or something? Get over it. She did say she was visiting nyc this week. For some made up reason, I’m sure. She’s always her worst when she’s stuck in Chicago. Always.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

      Yes. This pattern is an interesting reveal. She clearly feels a huge sense of personal failure about leaving New York.

    • LetItExplode says:

      I moved to LA from New York in March and I haven’t missed it one bit. OK..So I do miss the Indian food and the readily available cabs when I’m hammered, but nothing else, really. I love NYC with all my heart and lived there for 8 years. I made lifelong friends, met a great love of my life, launched my career, etc. But in the end I was ready to move on. I don’t think Julia was. Because if you are you don’t tweet about how shitty NYC is or whatever. Some day when I have fuck you money maybe I can be bicoastal. But for now I’m content to have a little place with a yard and perhaps start a family this decade.

      It seems like Julia was run out of town, either because of her lack of friends or job prospects or both. She pretty clearly was attracted to guys who didn’t live there so that she could have a reason to up and move and not have to tell herself she failed. New York is like that for a lot of people. It’s hard. Lifers can’t understand why anyone is leaving, and there is a lot of pressure to justify it. If you’re not secure in your decision it can be alienating.

      • ShesJustStupid says:

        Oh, she would be fine in L.A. as well. It’s Chicago and what she thinks it stands for (her origins) that she hates.

        • Pink Palatian says:

          Chicago doesn’t have any use for her, either. We have a fine city, but the way she talks about it, you’d think we were in Nebraska. Then again, she never DOES anything in Chicago, so why would she know?

          • ShesJustStupid says:

            She experiences everything she needs to from her perch high in the downtown condo or in the murky depths of Hub51. And, of course, there’s the road to Wilmette to lend a rush…

          • Tribune 6 says:

            Chicago is a great city, as is the rest of America for that matter. But Donkerella can’t stop OBO’ing her whole life to stop and notice how good she has it.

            Donkey. OBO’ing her way thru life.

          • Pink Palatian says:

            She reminds me of the old saying “wherever you go, there you are.” She keeps taking herself with her everywhere she goes while telling herself that her “peripatetic” lifestyle is glamorous and fascinating when to everyone else it’s boring, pathetic, and vom-inducing.

        • Ms Melty Pelty says:

          She hates being in Chicago because she probably runs into people every day who remember what she used to look like.

      • Donksers says:

        She has feelings of disdain for New York because it was New York that took all those beyond-embarrassing, trashy pictures of her slutting it up all over the place, and it was New York that forced her to make bad decisions on every level from the day she arrived. And it was New York that created her reputation for being a skanky, crazy, lying, narcissistic fail-whale. Damn you, New York!!!

        • JFA says:

          If I read the NY thing I will get the rages. New York doesn’t miss you assface, you can stay out! YOu are quite right, NY sucks or whatever.

          • JFA says:

            Also you were never a New Yorker KTHX!!!! You KNOW she’s gonna be one of those assholes that speaks about her time in NY to prove she has some sort of cred, for the rest of her life.

  30. stinky dingleberry on my cat’s furry pantaloons says:

    The “don’t you have better ways to spend your time?” argument is one of the most annoying Donkisms…it’s like Donk, really?!? You endlessly post proposal videos, tiny and cute women, ugly poofy dresses and OMG SUGAR!!! and you chastise your readers who actually posit cogent arguments about how they spend their time. No you di’int Donk, no you di’int…
    On a complete aside though, one day, a litigant at work (lawyers are inevitable) called his son a “man-child.” I think that is such a perfect way to describe Le Donk…a woman-child.

    • diluted brain says:

      I hate that too. It’s so rude of her to say to people who are reading her blog. She should be thankful anyone reads it outside of us. She has no class.

  31. Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

    Is Caroline Rocco one of us slovenly basement-dwelling cat ladies, or am I about to fuss at one of the voices in Donkey’s head?

    This particular statement bugged me:
    “I would expect that someone diagnosed with emphysema wouldn’t post photos of beautiful people smoking, knowing that seeing such images will spark nicotine cravings in herself or others.”

    Emphysema is *NOT* unique or specific to people who smoke (or were exposed to 2nd-hand cigarette smoke) — it’s also caused by air pollution, exposure to chemicals, etc. It’s a somewhat common occupational hazard of firefighters — lo & behold, it even comes about as part of the natural aging process. In my relative who died from it, a non-smoker, the cause was traced back to crop-dusting, of all things.

    Just thought that was an invalid point to (try to) make — I know several reformed smokers who aren’t even bothered in the least to be around smokers, so the assumption that a visual automatically triggers a craving just doesn’t wash.

    *I’m really bitchy today! Sorry! 🙂

    • Admiral of the Burro Fleet says:

      I thought CR was closely related to the ineffable, tiny, adorable Mini Driver. But perhaps I am not recalling correctly – the custodian of my memories is out sick today.

      • Skirt Pull says:

        They are one and the same.

        • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

          I thought Mini was the Becky Reader commenter on there (not to be confused w/ the Reader Becky commenter on here, I don’t think) w/ the pancakes on her (Cindy’s, I think) head …

          • Mini Driver, Intergalactic Bully says:

            I’m not Becky Reader, although I admire her chutzpah. Not everyone can get away with setting her Disqus icon to be a picture of Cindy McCain with a pancake on her head. I can’t imagine even trying.

    • Mini Driver, Intergalactic Bully says:

      I’m sorry, Big Head Fraud. You’re very right about everything; Caroline phrased herself badly. She started out making one analogy but switched gears midstream, then never corrected her opening premise.

      • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

        So that IS you? Ignore my comments. I think I was snappish after reading Donkey’s BS & the Emphysema was easiest to sink my teeth into at that moment (any/every thing Donkey had said was more or less already contradicted by Donkey herself).

  32. "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

    I just wanted to point out that, no matter how bad we ever think she is – and no matter how much so many of us have tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, OVER AND OVER – the fact is that the more we learn, the worse we find her to be. We have only seen the tip of the iceberg, fellow haters.

  33. Frequent Liar Miles says:

    OT, but I will take that flame-point Himalayan (and his birthday cake) if you please.

  34. Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

    OT: I found a fauxto of Donkey & GreasyBear …
    [img]http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01564/donkey-teddy_1564127i.jpg[/img]

    • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

      Heh …
      “Homecoming Queen of the Internet & Her Attendants”
      [img]http://www.dailypets.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/donkey1.jpg[/img]

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Oh, at last a photo of him with his mouth closed!

  35. Dear Heart says:

    “Murder, same thing. I don’t have a problem with it, so I personally don’t need it to be illegal.”

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

      No, everyone concerned needs murder outlawed because if it weren’t illegal, Julia would be too tempted to make all us catladies and catgents D-E-D ded. However, on second thought, being hunted by such an inept idiot as Julia wouldn’t be much of a threat. In any case, we can agree that any argument for or against the illegalization of murder is totally invalid unless it specifically refers to Julia Allison by name and discusses her temptations.

      • Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

        Reality show idea: Julia tries to hunt and kill people. Despite her most earnest efforts and cunning, she inevitably fails, in part because she can’t stop reading press on her new reality show, but mostly because she has no talents or skills.

      • Frequent Liar Miles says:

        I see her more in the role of murderee.

        • Frequent Liar Miles says:

          (NOT supposed to be interpreted as a threat. Also: reminds me I should re-read London Fields.)

  36. Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

    OT, i don’t remember which of you catladies recommended it, but i’ve started reading chris hedges’ “empire of illusion”. it really is pertinent to the reality show of the donk, and to the state of our culture more generally as well. makes me think i ought to watch a bit less television, and try to be more intellectually diligent (which i am finding harder as i get older).

    • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

      So *that’s* where you’ve been!
      (thought you were hiding when the rapture failed to materialize)

    • I'm guessing it's biology of the Make a Wish [Box] Foundation says:

      Fuck yeah, Prof! I’m a devotee of Mr. Hedges. Wait until you get to ‘Death of the Liberal Class’, if you haven’t already. And yes, it’s all about spectacle and distraction and materialistic fetishism these days (more than ever) and I always thought people like JABs are the icon of our cultural decay — the ‘cult of the self’! She is the poster child! Enjoy the read…(check out his Truthdig.com column too!)

  37. Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance says:

    Fake Julia rumor! She’s getting “HQI” (Homecoming Queen of the Internet) tattooed on her other wrist to match her “LIU” tattoo.

  38. skye504 says:

    Chris Hedges is fantastic! There are some pretty great speeches he gave about media and politics, one in particular that had to do with “Empire of Illusion.” If you like the book, definitely YouTube the speech. He talks at length a little bit more about specific chapters of the book.

    • I'm guessing it's biology of the Make a Wish [Box] Foundation says:

      Lovin’ the Hedges love all up in here!! His ideas (not only his) on the media and our moving from a text-based society to one that is based on imagery really hit home for me. I think a lot of his ideas are why I watch Miss TrainWreck USA. And then, of course, I feel terribly gross because she is highly distracting. Anyway! yay.com.

      • skye504 says:

        I think you nailed down why I’m so drawn to watching this nut job’s life “unfold” as well. And ditto, I’m also happy to see people on here who know about his work. My favorite part about Mr. Hedges is that he went to Harvard divinity school, is a practicing Christian, but is also willing to sit down and have a level-headed conversation with most people and listen to what EVERYONE has to say, something La Donks knows nothing about.

        • I'm guessing it's biology of the Make a Wish [Box] Foundation says:

          Absolutely. I think he and Dr. Cornel West (luvs) take their Christian upbringings and beliefs to a more holistic level, where it’s more about morality (moral values) and spirituality than any particular religious passage, story or whatever.

          Here’s a brief (10 mins), but hard-hitting, vid:
          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVmYsfB9J2g

      • AFGHANI says:

        Hedges is great–thought provoking, innovative, very relevant to our times. One needn’t agree with him on everything to appreciate what he’s saying.

    • --EVER-- says:

      Just watched all 1:22 of it, on your recommendation. More depressing than a month of Donkey. And, of course, more important in that running time than everything she’s ever done, put together. Thank you!

  39. Flygirl says:

    I miss him so much. Can’t stop watch video’s of helicopter crashes and reading up on California’s community property laws. Can you say “The one that got away?”

  40. mcakes is tots nots guamanic depressive says:

    I want to write a NYT best seller and get fuck you money so I can adopt a twenty-something year old brother, befriend her, introduce them, and get them to date so he can convince her to do shots of Fernet, fuck her, shit on her chest and then spread it all over the internet.

    It is so nice to have a goal in life that is way more rewarding (and attainable) than this whole ‘saving the world’ thing.

    • mcakes is tots nots guamanic depressive says:

      *spread a video of it. I would not spread shit, or Fernet, on the internet, although I would happily buy the ‘net a shot when this day finally comes.

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      I believe Tucker Max is available for around 75 cents an hour, although be forewarned that even if you got Julia dead drink she might well resist his advances.

      • skye504 says:

        If ever there was a time for a matchmaker to come along and play Fairy Godmother so she could meet him, this would be IT!

      • Albie Quirky says:

        After she blathered about her crush on moot, I don’t see that. Tucker Max has that dot com credibility that she looooooves after all.

        • wonkeye says:

          Yes, but he does have an assload of money, so that’ll do. She is past her expiration date, after all. Can’t be too picky.

          • mcakes is tots nots guamanic depressive says:

            I really don’t care, as long as someone shits on her chest, videos, and spreads the love.

    • Skirt Pull says:

      Sorry, but this is a vile thing to say, even to someone we all find as difficult to deal with as JA. She’s still somebody’s daughter and a human; as a mother of a baby girl, I can’t stomach the ferocity and aggressiveness here.

      • mcakes is tots nots guamanic depressive says:

        My alternative was “I want to rip off her head, and shit down her neck.”

        Also, your fucktrophy has nothing to do with this. Save the “All the girls,” shit for cocktails with the Mommy Mob.

        • AFGHANI says:

          this.

        • Again, Feel Free To Relax says:

          GIFSoup

          Confetti shot for cakez.

          • Again, Feel Free To Relax says:

            [img][URL=http://www.gifsoup.com/view/2061963/parks-an-rec-3d.html][IMG]http://www.gifsoup.com/imager.php?id=2061963&t=o[/IMG][/URL] [URL=http://www.gifsoup.com/]GIFSoup[/URL][/img]

            Oops, embed fail. I’ll try once more.

            And Skirt Pull, please remember to feel free to relax at any time!

        • Skirt Pull says:

          My daughter, and the empathy I feel for other peoples’ daughters, has everything to do with this.

          Fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you again. I’m done with this site and maggots like you.

      • Donksers says:

        Holy crap, you guys, I agree with Skirt Pull. The level of viciousness is sick. And referring to her little girl as “your fucktrophy” is nasty.

        • Skirt Pull says:

          Seriously. And you have now succeeded in driving me away from this website forever.

          • mcakes is tots nots guamanic depressive says:

            If it makes you feel any better, my initial response to your huff and puff was to say, “If you really want to protect children, consider an abortion next time.” I remembered that my grudge isn’t actually against you, it is against JA.

            Regardless, since apparently this needs explaining, the *joke* was more about use her shallowness (my needing a famous name and money for her to be willing to befriend me) her exploitation (oh hey, famous rich person, you have a cute brother) paired with her desperate need for a man (“Fernet? But I never drink!” “Don’t worry, all the SF hipster drink it!” down to “You can shit on my chest, if you want to! Just don’t leave me!”) in order to get her something she wants (internet fame, although through shit-sploitation video.)

            Mothers, don’t let your girls grow up to be fameballs…

            Of course, you will never read this now.

  41. Tribune 6 says:

    Love it. Finally, @whitegrlproblem finally tweets:
    “You look like you’re from the Midwest”. Whitegrlproblem is fucking Twitter L<3L.

    Donkerella, who strives to be oh so coastal cool, needs someone to tweet this to her. Hmmmm.

  42. Fuck You, Fashion Week says:

    Has anyone read the latest vile she spewed on her blog tonight? She was AGAINST marriage at 27? When was she EVER against marriage? Or does she just mean she was against marriage to a poor man?

    • Albie Quirky says:

      When was she EVER against marriage?

      When she was dating some guy who said that?

    • AFGHANI says:

      When she was trying to play “hard to get”. Probably because some shitty book said that’s how to get guys to love you.

    • Mini Driver, Intergalactic Bully says:

      No, no, boys! I don’t want your diamond rings! I’m keeping my options open!
      [img]http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3130/2645854506_44877069a4_z.jpg[/img]

  43. Tribune 6 says:

    From Donkerella’s blech:
    “How is it that girls from the 50s managed to look classier … even while wearing almost no clothing?”

    Cause
    – they don’t lick every fucking object in sight
    – they don’t smile with lips spread so far you can see their intestines
    – they get normal sleep, didn’t binge and purge and exercised thanks to a more active lifetstyle
    – they didn’t shove their bodices at every man and woman in every picture possible.

    In essence, they knew savoir faire meant a look, a smile, demure seduction.

    Not manic, chemically powered melt-downs.

    Free of charge. Skank.

  44. Meezy says:

    Are these comments the same person using various different handles or are you all really that available and bored that you devote time to hating some broad the rest of the world’s never heard of? I’ve written one sentence so far and I feel I’ve already lost precious time I could spend with my thumb up my ass, which would be more productive than Googling this ginger chick every hour, checking her website and watching the T.V. show she’s on, when you supposedly hate her. Because I know when I hate someone’s guts and think they are a fucktard, I totally cyberstalk their life and even make a collage of funny pictures of them as my website banner; a website dedicated to tracking their every move and commenting inappropriate things about it. I would even pay a monthly fee to host a .com dedicated to my hatred of someone else, which, as someone in the behavioral science field, I’d infer means one of two things: 1) you are obsessed with her and that obsession has turned into sour hatred. or 2) she pulled one of your pigtails in 4th grade (or some other such distant past incident) and you have hated her guts ever since. Or I could be way off and you’re really just that fucking bored. You said you’re married, go suck your husband’s dick and make him a sandwhich, be productive today!

    signed,

    Cat Daddy

  45. Meezy says:

    oh yeah, I forgot: if this chick is a reblogging donk, that makes you a re-reblogging donk which is even more pathetic because you blog about someone that blogs about themselves, which you say is horrid xD Dude this shit is making my day, did I tell you I’m also a pothead and a C++ programmer? 😀 We shouls make a website just for you, just like this called Re-re-re…retar-re-reblogging Donk.

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