Hello there … so if any of you check my twitter, you would have seen this tweet, from a few days ago. Jack has asked me to move in with him, here in Coronado (the island off of San Diego, where the Naval base is located), until he leaves for Guam later this year (maybe October, could be November, even possibly December). [Side note: He has also told me he would love for me to move to Guam with him, but he knows that’s a discussion we’ll need to have closer to that date. It seems more likely that we will try a creative long distance option, where I visit him every two or so months, for about a month.]
He actually asked me over the phone, when I was at SXSW a few weeks ago, and I tentatively said yes, but because we haven’t been dating all that long, I suggested we take a trial run. Then I flew back, spent a few days with him, and promptly departed for three other cities (SF, then Chicago, then Sweden, then back to Chicago). I had planned to head from there to New York, then DC, then New York again, and finally back to San Diego, but at some point during Sweden, he texted me – in the kindest possible way – and asked me to come home. Home meaning Coronado.
Honestly, it’s a funny thing, transitioning to being part of a couple (and considering someone else’s needs). It seems like it would be automatic, but it really isn’t. Especially after you’ve been single for quite some time, you forget about basic couple-type things – like, uh … checking in with another person. I haven’t had to do this since I was dating Alex, quite a few years ago now (I purposely don’t count my numerous 3-6 month relationships, as we rarely achieved this level of commitment so early).
This isn’t exactly a revelation, but it has occurred to me that a successful relationship means (besides never having to say you’re sorry) breaking the habit of only considering your own career, family and friendships. With this in mind, I canceled my appearance at the Dressed to Kilt event, canceled the DC trip, and moved the second portion of my New York trip (to do press & meetings for my new column) to next week, so Jack and I could have two uninterrupted weeks in the same physical location.
It was a good plan.
Many times over the past few weeks, I’ve thought that dating through your twenties does little to properly equip you for the sacrifices of a serious, committed relationship. Sometimes I feel completely unprepared in a way that’s altogether embarrassing, given my age. Shouldn’t I know how to do all this by now?
She is so wise, this one. And generous! And tiny and cute!