I Am A Victim: The Column

Here’s Julie Albertson’s latest for the three papers that are running this “internationally syndicated columnist’s” column.

Social Studies: We need to put a stop to cyberbullying

By Julia Allison

Tribune Media Services

The “new mail” sound pinged and I clicked.

“I would love to watch you get punched senseless. “… You are a (expletive) failure, a typical New York failure. If I ever find any of your written nonsense on MSN or Yahoo, it will probably get ugly.”

The “in-real-life” bullying I endured in middle school was so bad that I used to come home in tears, wishing that I wouldn’t wake up the next morning. And yet, here I am, more than a decade and a half later, dealing with a far more virulent strain: cyberbullying.

E-mails, comments, Facebook, Twitter. If there’s a way to reach people electronically, there’s a way to make them cry.

My haters love to focus on my physical appearance. I have body parts I didn’t even know could be called hideous — “sausage fingers” and “elephant knees,” for example. But it doesn’t stop there. One commenter wrote: “Julia, you are a despicable person. Ugly inside and out, with ZERO redeeming qualities. “… (D)espite your best efforts to scrub it all and land a husband “… which will NEVER happen, btw.”

This represents just a fraction of the hate that has been thrown my way — as well as in the direction of my friends, family, boyfriends and employers. Why? As a columnist and as a social media user, haters feel I am fair game. They do it because they can. Because I “asked for it” by sharing anything at all.

We live in a world of more than 600 million Facebook accounts, 160 million blogs, 190 million Twitter accounts. Are we all “asking” to be cyberbullied?

The White House convened its Conference on Bullying Prevention on March 10 and launched StopBullying.gov.

“This isn’t an issue that makes headlines every day, but it affects every single young person in our country,” President Obama told the conference.

I would amend that statement: Cyberbullying affects all people, not just the young.

Bullying spans generations: 45-year-old bullies raise children who become 13-year-old bullies who grow up to be 28-year-old bullies. And here’s my “controversial” proposition: Kids aren’t the only ones who should be protected from them.

Until we agree that cyberbullying is an absolutely unacceptable way to treat other people, the cycle of harassment will continue.

The government’s new website defines bullying as someone using strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker. Online dynamics are such, however, that a handful of haters can become a mob and target anyone, regardless of age, economic status or “real-world” power.

“It goes beyond name-calling,” said 37-year-old A.B., a veteran blogger who has experienced the devastating effects of motivated online bullies. The hate wormed its way insidiously into her life. She posted, “What would make you stop?” Her bullies’ response: “Die.” “People are like, ‘Oh, don’t read it,’ but how can you not stand up for yourself?” Especially when no one else is.

One of my readers, Sara, described encountering nasty comments about herself online. “It KILLED me. I was devastated. I felt it physically; I could literally feel the blood drain from my body every time I found a new one.” Following someone around on the street while screaming insults at them would be considered at the least, crazy — and at the most, criminal harassment. So why is it accepted online?

“All of us have an obligation to think about how we’re treating other people,” Obama said at an MTV forum in late 2010. “What we may think is funny or cute may end up being powerfully hurtful.”

We must go further. Internet companies have long brushed aside complaints about often-anonymous users who engage in personal attacks. “Not our problem,” seems to be their prevailing sentiment. Individuals cower behind anonymity, and because it can be difficult, time-consuming and costly to discover true identities, they remain de-facto exempt from libel and defamation laws.

Our government should step up and enact protections for citizens of all ages. A cyber police force doesn’t sound like such a bad idea.

We can’t force people to like someone, but we can and should ensure that they don’t hurt others.


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168 Responses to I Am A Victim: The Column

  1. AnnaPelt Is Happy at 138 says:

    “Following someone around on the street while screaming insults at them would be considered at the least, crazy — and at the most, criminal harassment. So why is it accepted online?”

    Didn’t she cadge/paraphrase that from something one of her NS commenters said in her bullying thread? I think she did.

  2. Frequent Liar Miles says:

    “It KILLED me. I was devastated. I felt it physically; I could literally feel the blood drain from my body every time I found a new one.”

    Hmmm. This “Sara” misuses “literally” just like Donks does.

    • Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

      “every time I found a new one.” = i spent all night hitting refresh to see the updates. but SHE NEVER READS HERE.

      • little birdies dress me says:

        Exactly “found a new one ” implies you went searching for it. It is not stalking or bullying if you seek it out. Is someone forcing you to hunt for comments? Is someone forcing you to read emails?

        • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

          Legalese! She means the ping of her Google Alert. Either that or she’s outright lying by claiming these were emails sent to her. Imagine that!

        • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

          When she comes here & reads, when she @searches her @name, when she googles herself non-stop, THAT is actively seeking.

          Being on the receiving end when opening her own email or comments on her own liecast isn’t actively seeking. IMHO.

          • little birdies dress me says:

            I would agree that there is a difference between my two questions and that the latter could take up the element of harassment, but not comments on a website that is not your own.

          • someproblems says:

            I agree that emails threatening violence are totally over the line.

    • Rachael says:

      Sara is a real human (she follows me on Tumblr). She does write like Julia, though.

    • AFGHANI says:

      common mistake among dumb people. i’m not saying it’s not donkey, but if donkey does have fans commenting, this is the type of crap they’d write.

  3. "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

    She’s just so fucking dumb. She really believes the government should have “stop people’s feelings from being hurt” as a priority.

    Julia, I don’t think you were cut out for life. Also, you have done more heinous shit to hurt people in the past 30 days than more people cram into a lifetime. Do fuck off.

    • Julia's Permanent Braycation from Reality says:

      I really hope that the government immediately starts spending time making sure Julia Allison doesn’t get her feelings hurt, especially right now amid a disastrous tsunami and potential nuclear meltdown in Japan and violent unrest in Libya and Bahrain. It would be so responsible for them to focus their energy there right now.

      President Obama, stop everything. Someone’s feelings have been hurt.

      What makes her think a cyber police force would even solve her “problems”? Real-life police don’t come to my house and “Tsk tsk” me every time I criticize some else’s life choices or poor grammar or suggest that grown women stop wearing tutus. The last time people got reprimanded for “bullying” was in high school.

      • Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

        “What Do You Mean I’m a White Whiner, I Never Drink!”: The Julia Allison Story

      • renee says:

        “the last time people got reprimanded for ‘bullying’ was in high school”

        True. Reprimanding is for kids. Adults don’t need that kind of supervision. They’re unlikely to engage in repeated, deliberate, hostile, online group behaviour to hurt or embarrass someone.

        • Again, Feel Free To Relax says:

          Renee, it’s interesting you feel this way since you came into chat last night saying, “I should have come in earlier!” When I asked why that was, you said you were looking for people to talk to because you “assume Julia’s talk was heinous.”

          Worrisome! Sounds like you might need supervision. I’ll contact cyber police.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            All three comments she’s made on RBD have been defensive of Donkey. Maybe it was another Renee in chat? Or a spy of some sort. I would never the Donkey!

          • Again, Feel Free To Relax says:

            Yes, I think I confused the Renees.

            If only I had a local cyber detective to find out for me…

            Sorry, real Renee. 🙂

  4. Brianna says:

    So, I wonder what the Bolt Bus girl thought when she found her picture posted on someone else’s website with

    Photo evidence of the Bolt Bus Cell Phone asshole. FOUR HOURS STRAIGHT she talked, despite being asked politely to stop several times. In all my days of public transport, I’ve never seen anyone that inconsiderate.

    PS. My favorite part was when she told me that she “paid $20” so she could talk as much as she pleased, thankyouverymuch. Almost as good as when she said I should “get a life and some friends to call” for asking her to stop (2 hrs in).”

    written under it? Especially as, if Julia didn’t hand her a business card with her name and contact information, it was anonymous!

    I’m sure reading “The evil cell phone wench is STILL FUCKING TALKING. It has taken every ounce of self control I have not to smash the phone into her face.” on Twitter made her feel like a Care Bear stare was directed right at her!

    • Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

      CALL THE CYBERPOLICE! Julie Albertson’s ZEN was violated!


      • Pancakes with a side of Pancakes with a side of of cray cray says:

        Don’t forget the cyber waaaaaaaaaaahmbulance.

  5. white coat says:

    Call me lame for wanting to “cower behind anonymity,” but I hate that the Oakland Tribune requires you to use your facebook account to leave a comment.

    • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

      Take a look at their FAQs — I read it a while back & may be remembering wrong, but I thought therewas a work-around (though it did seem their answers were definitely slanted towards Fecebook participation).

  6. LetItExplode says:

    Julia honey, if a cyber police force were formed you’d get ten years for that email to [REDACTED’s] fiancee, and another five for “[REDACTED #2] is bipolar.” You want to talk bullying or defamation of character? Did you ever think about how revealing such a thing to FUCKING GAWKER might have affected his career?

    Please! Bring on the cyberpolice! Where can I file a report?

  7. Hey! That “ugly inside and out” was mine! Yay! She also read my “please go home” comment during her “speech” yesterday. I’m 2-2.

    I’m also willing to bet that she was NEVER bullied in school. More likely, she was the bully. I have no doubt of this. She brings up ridiculous “me too” stories waaaayyy to often and conveniently. I also highly doubt she was ever raped, which makes it all the more sickening for women who really WERE raped.

    Anyone out there go to grade school or high school with her to confirm any of this bullying BS? Shit, I think maybe EVERYONE was bullied my somebody at some point. That’s life. It’s the chronic, everyday-for-years stuff that includes beatings that is the problem.

    • Shrug Bitch says:

      lol I was wondering who the lucky ones quoted were….

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      That’s the thing. Who wasn’t bullied to some degree at some point? I had a group of young male punks in middle school who constantly bullied me about my Bob Hope nose, which thankfully I later grew into. I mean I HATED going to school. But then I realized those guys are losers, I have other friends who aren’t bullying me, so what the fuck do I care? And held my head (and nose) high, went to school, and ignored them for months. Years later, they were still calling me Roberta Hope, and I continued to ignore them.

      This of course is not the kind of bullying anyone is talking about. But you can bet that’s the type of bullying she’s referring to. Someone probably made fun of her buck teeth and poor little narcissist couldn’t handle it. Not exactly the same as being bullied for the color of your skin or your sexuality, you tool.

      • Little Orphan Lilly says:

        Years later, they were still calling me Roberta Hope, and I continued to ignore them.

        Not to diminish the fact that these guys sound like cruel assholes, but unless you are secretly eighty-five years old and comparing you to Bob Hope was up-to-the-minute satire, they are basically the lamest bullies EVER.

        • New Year New You says:

          If Jacy is really 85 years old, then it is really fucked up that Julia has bullied old people.

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          I spent my adolescence in Canada, home of the SCTV television show, and one of the funniest skits was Dave Thomas’s imitation of Bob Hope. That’s the only reason my generation knew who Bob Hope was. SCTV played over and over again in re-runs, too, so there are still probably kids in Canada who know who he is. Hell, we were watching it in reruns.


          • Little Orphan Lilly says:

            Ahhhh, okay, that makes much more sense. Although I’ll admit, I’m a little disappointed you’re not secretly my grandmother.

          • Frequent Liar Miles says:

            HA! I once dated a fellow about 10 years younger than me, and I always told him he looked like a young Bob Hope. He didn’t really get the reference and just thought I was randomly teasing him, until one day the mother of a friend of his pointed out the same thing.

            He’s managed to age a lot better than the actual Bob, though, whose features seemed to get more rubbery and exaggerated as he got older.

      • Loren Feldman says:

        I got the nose thing too. Deservedly so I might add. Once I started getting the girls while these fools jerked off that was pretty much it.

    • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

      I’m assuming you would be easy enough for Dickhead & her private dick to track down, since you’re using a name that by all appearances is a real name, w/ a link to your blog & everything?

      And yet Dickhead hinges everything on “ANONYMOUS” … ?

  8. New Year New You says:

    Julia do you or do you not, on your hobby blog page have a “contact me” email address? Right, well then take it down.

    Seriously Julie, fuck off, us real people have real things to worry about other than your vanity press.

  9. Princess WideStance says:

    If she’s going to go this far then she’d better stop publishing her own bitchy little opinions – about anything and everything.


  10. The Future Mrs. Pancakes says:

    Once again, this column sounds like something that a 10th grader would write for the school paper. Seriously, how can any adult be so short-sighted? With all of the heart-wrenching stories about REAL bullying and social media… I just… there are no words.
    This bullying/victim routine fills me with such brayge.

    Bottom line: SHE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT REAL BULLYING IS. I tried to point this out to her, in the most constructive way possible, but I don’t think she’s ever going to get it.

    • You Pay with Yo' Face says:

      I’d rank this boo woo brayfest even lower than a 10th grade civics assignment, maybe that of a middle school writing contest submission about the horrors of cyberbulling, with widdle biddle Julie Albertson coming in fourth place because “the former Nixon speechwriter” overloaded Julie’s essay with quotations from THE PRESIDENT!

    • monster says:

      Feel free to calm down! people of ALL AGES need cyberpolice protection! Make it happen’ Kirk!

  11. Again, Feel Free To Relax says:


  12. Again, Feel Free To Relax says:


    • Again, Feel Free To Relax says:


  13. Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

    funny that at the end of the previous columns, there has been an email address/twitter handle at which julia can be contacted. now, it just says: “Contact Julia Allison at SocialStudiesColumn.com.” lo and behold, there is no longer any contact information on that page, either. tell me again how the haters email you constantly, julia?

    • A-Game Content says:

      Oh… I saw that but just figured that it was her email address written out. Not willing to try, though!

  14. bitchface says:

    Sausage Snappers got a shout out! holla!

    • Little Orphan Lilly says:

      Seriously. If only we could get a FB profile up unobtrusively enough, this could be the most epic “…YOU RANG???” ever.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Where is that?

      • bf says:

        >>My haters love to focus on my physical appearance. I have body parts I didn’t even know could be called hideous — “sausage fingers” and “elephant knees,” for example

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          Oh, got it, sorry. I thought you meant she named Sausage Snappers as one of her bullies, which would have been pretty awesome.

  15. Dr. Gary says:

    Hey, Julie? I have a very easy solution to your problem:

    *Take your name off of Google Alert
    *Delete RBD from your bookmarks
    *Delete RBD/RBNS from Google Reader
    *The moment you realize an email is from a ‘hater’ or ‘bully’? Stop reading + delete it.
    *Block ‘haters’ and ‘bullys’ on Twitter (I’ve heard you already do this)
    *A friend/family member/acquaintance contacts you via cell/text/email/IM/FB message to share a ‘hater comment’? Delete it or ask them to stop reading/sharing.

    You do this and I bet you’d cut out 95% of the ‘hateful’ and/or ‘negative’ comments you’re exposed to.

    However, I think you like the extra attention this new self-appointed role of ‘cyber bully victim’ is bringing you. So you won’t do anything to stop it. And you might even encourage it to get even more attention. Which makes you more sad and pathetic than I already thought you were.

    • bf says:

      I’m curious what kind of “friends” FW’d nasty hater comments about her?

      Also, all she could come up with for examples, despite REAL people really being bullied online is some anon blogger and her reader Sara?

      • someproblems says:

        Yeah, this is really too bad. She once again missed a big opportunity to do something right. Instead she focussed on her glorious her.

  16. ShesJustStupid says:

    WOW. This photo. Just wow. http://yfrog.com/gz483uij

    • Ridonkulous says:

      Getting more Michael Jackson-y every day.

    • Headband Whore says:

      Right?! She has fully transformed into a “Real Housewives” wax figure. Yikes.

    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      She looks like evil blind Jenna on Pretty Little Liars (not that I watch that or anything.)

      • darling mrs. melissa sue [calm down!] says:

        don’t hate. that show is awesome.

        • Frequent Liar Miles says:

          I know; it is my guilty secret vice. And Jenna LITERALLY got punched in the face last night. DISCLAIMER: I do not wish a similar fate on Donk, so don’t arrest me, don’t arrest me, PLEASE don’t arrest me!

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      She can’t be happy that’s out there, right? It’s photo bullying.

    • eyegloss says:

      se looks like she used to have good bone structure, you know, when she was in her 40s

    • Donkey Tonk Badonkadonk says:

      I didn’t know Madame Tussauds had a traveling exhibit. Awesome.

      I won’t ask why the chica in khaki is pretending to interview that wax dummy — must be one of those crazy stunts the hip kids are into these days.

    • gizelle says:

      oof. manly stanley.

  17. anon says:

    It boggles the mind that she would write an article like this with all that is going on in the Middle East/North Africa. Thousands of people are fighting for freedom and she writes an article that is in favor of our government creating a police force that would effectively censor peoples’ thoughts/opinions.
    How does garbage like this get published?

  18. bf says:

    ALSO, please someone tell me this mess slipped by the editors (grammar fail, thesis fail, introductory lead in fail):

    The “new mail” sound pinged and I clicked.

    “I would love to watch you get punched senseless. “… You are a (expletive) failure, a typical New York failure. If I ever find any of your written nonsense on MSN or Yahoo, it will probably get ugly.”

    >> misuse of punctuation
    >> huh? If I ever find …. on MSN or Yahoo? what does that even MEAN???

    The “in-real-life” bullying I endured in middle school was so bad that I used to come home in tears, wishing that I wouldn’t wake up the next morning. And yet, here I am, more than a decade and a half later, dealing with a far more virulent strain: cyberbullying.

    >> quotes fail again
    >> bullying face to face is less virulent than online comments?
    >> lead in fail

    shit. My writing blows and I can tell this was done in about 15 min.

    • someproblems says:

      Yes, thank you. Again I was appalled by what passes for ‘writing’ in her remedial level 8th grade English essay.

      So, so atrociously bad.

      And mean comments are not the same as beatings, sweetie. They just aren’t.

    • Can-Swiss says:

      The fact they let her publish a “I am a 30 year old women who cries because of mean people on the Internet” rant as her column makes me think her editors don’t really read her work at all.

      Also DONKEY.

  19. idiotbox says:

    Well, someone killed two birds with one very whiny stone!

  20. Real-life "Cathy" Cartoon says:

    The “police” don’t stop anyone from saying someone has sausage fingers (as Julia Allison does) or other nasty things. What would be the point of putting the police online to watch a bunch of non-crimes happen?

    • My nostrils are TOTALLY symmetrical! says:

      Seriously! Julia, 9/10 times the police don’t remove an abuser from a home in a domestic violence situation. Probably 50% of rapes and sexual assaults are not taken seriously by police, why the fuck are they going to sit online all day because a bunch of basement dwelling cat ladies think your fingers are fat? GET. REAL.

      • Blinky, Fat, Flapping Fuck - You Shitheads! says:

        Sure but the raft ass comments could get us some serious time in Rikers!

    • Live Dependently says:

      I think police on the internet are doing things like searching for child predators. It isn’t funny how insignificant her problems are compared to things like that.

  21. Real-life "Cathy" Cartoon says:


    Our government should step up and enact protections for citizens of all ages. A cyber police force doesn’t sound like such a bad idea.

    We can’t force people to like someone, but we can and should ensure that they don’t hurt others.

    I thought Republicans (which is what sausage-fingered Julia Allison is) believed in limited government!

    • New Year New You says:

      Julie you over-priviliged fuck-face. Open a newspaper, have a look at what goes on in the world, people hurt people, they take/destroy their property, they hurt each other physically, they’ll take their homes. Your favored Republican party Julia will happily leave the poorz and the “foreignerz” to starve to death. This has all been going on for centuries Julie, do you think your internet comments take precedence over this?

      You wanna ensure that others don’t hurt others, why don’t you give Desmond Tutu a call and see what he says. And no Julia, he has nothing to do with frothy skirts.

      • NorseHorse Will Never The Donkey says:

        It’s such a fascist idea, a literal thought police, and I am confident that her stupidity and wrongness is self-evident. She’s so ignorant and not self-aware. “Oh, Eva Braun was so pretty!” sort of horrifyingly dense.

        Let’s scratch that First Amendment, people. It’s hurting Donk’s feelings, because of her made up stories and anecdotes.

      • Blinky, Fat, Flapping Fuck - You Shitheads! says:

        Why the political ranting and frothing at the mouth? Despite your wishes, she is a liberal. Just because she’s boning McCain doesn’t make her a Republican.

        • --EVER-- says:

          Standing in the front row of an event by the Republican candidate senate in her state, holding up a sign with his name on it, cheering for the benefit of the cameras might.

          • Blinky, Fat, Flapping Fuck - You Shitheads! says:

            Until she started boning Pancakes, she described herself on Facebook as “very liberal.”

            When she (illegally) voted with an Illinois absentee ballot in 2008, she posted a photo of her ballot clearly marked for Obama.

            In some article that was recently resurrected here, she bitched at the Georgetown paper editor about him and the paper being “conservative” and how her liberal dogs hates conservatives and wanted to pee on them.

            Maybe we can bring back the old “Julia is a JOOOOOOO” meme, while we’re resurrecting old epithets that make no sense.

    • stop your (donkey) sobbing says:

      Julia loves a nanny state. Apparently.

  22. Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

    Her column is showing up here: http://www.cyberbullying.us/

  23. Rachael says:

    Oh, Julia. There is a cyber police force. It’s at Stratcom on Offutt AFB, Nebraska. However, they’re concerned about things that are actually criminal, like the Chinese trying to access Senators’ email accounts.

    Do something in your life that you can be proud of and stop complaining about everything.

    • Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

      seriously! i know you won’t understand, julia, but “these are not the droids you are looking for”. blaming or outing the haters is not going to help with the serious problems you have. grow the fuck up. there is real shit doing down in the world. ask mark kirk, maybe he knows.

  24. Dr. Gary says:

    So, Julie? Remember the other day when someone mentioned Hitler in your comments and you flipped out? Then someone else had to explain Godwin’s Law to you? And now you’re talking about ‘cyber police’ and censoring people online, which smacks of fascism (google it)? Therefore, transitive property: Hitler.

  25. Loren Feldman says:

    O should make her a special agent. Precedent is there.


  26. someproblems says:

    Somethings: Threatening violence via email is something the cops was address where i live, but that’s because we’ve had multiple school shootings.

    Moving past that, because there is no proof this is true, I am moved once again to say: Mother of fuck she is stupid.

    She really thinks unkind words on the internet are a reason for advocating for a police state. Really. That’s what she’s talking about here. The creation of a fucking police state, for mean comments, is what she is advocating.

    Lastly, she has now blown her entire wad for the column. She’s got nothing else left in the arsenal of “thoughts” left to share that would be worthy of publication.

    I am really excited to see what she regales the world with next week, because she’s got no ideas left.

    • someproblems says:

      Gah! *would address, cops would address threats of violence via email in my town.

    • New Year New You says:

      Yup threatening someone with violence via email does legally constitute harassment. So the delightful Mr Beauchamp patting himself on the back upthread for sending her the “I would love to watch you get punched senseless.” really needs to go and comment on his own blog. Not condonable.

      • someproblems says:

        Total word. Thank you. It’s fucked up and wrong and it is criminal. Strongly do not want any part of.

        • jpa says:

          Welcome to the real world, Julia. People don’t like other people, they make mean comments and they disagree with you. That’s life not bullying. It’s been going on for quite a few centuries and yet the world magically keeps spinning. My advice: acquaint yourself with the delete button, push it, get up from the computer, hit the gym and maybe read a book.

          It’s clear you can’t handle being a public figure and the responsibility of being “online” just seems to be too much for you. I’d suggest you move on with your life.

      • Sweetie? Read closer. She posts the first comment – which isn’t technically a threat, but close enough. That is not mine.

        Mine started with “you are a despicable person….ugly inside and out.”

        Granted, her writing and phrasing sucks, but it’s still pretty obvious those are two separate emails directed at her. Mine is the second one. The one completely lacking any violent suggestions.

        Apology appreciated and accepted.

        As I’ve pointed out here a million times, I am a hard core Libertarian. I preach no initiation of force or fraud against any person…that includes random acts of violence.

        That said, I HAVE in my blog rantings, advocated violence against politicians who have killed thousands of innocents with their actions….including, but not limited to, John McCain and Barack Obama.

        End rant.

  27. Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

    the cyber police logo in the Cupcake Reich:


    • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

      Loony bish wants CareBearStares for oppressive assassin Gaddafi, yet stomps her hooves & wants real police involvement for meanies who gossip about the appearance of her tree stumps in pink tutus that don’t cover her raft ass?

      Julia Allison, you deranged fucktard … no one wants to contact TMS & harm your relationship w/ them. Know why? Because people are tired of idiocy in general, & your enablers in particular, meaning that any & everyone is quite content to watch ’em die on the vine w/ the likes of your so-called journalistic endeavor paving the way.

      Get some sleep, grow the fuck up instead of merely older, & get over yourself.

  28. Canklehausen by Proxy says:

    I like that she implies that this website constitutes a mob. Mob violence! Now, when I think of people saying not nice things about some white lady from the suburbs, I definitely think of mob violence.

    Maybe Julie should learn some history– like how “mob violence” and lynching were absolutely a part of American history, and how thousands of blacks and Mexicans were lynched. And how it wasn’t until 2005 that the Senate apologized for never passing anti-lynching legislation that could have saved so many lives.

    Because this, obviously, is what I think of when I read not-nice comments.

    I would love for Julia to read this and tell me what she thinks:


    Bitch, shut the fuck up.

  29. Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

    “elephant knees” ?
    That’s just wrong!

    I said you knees look like bags of potatoes, & I stand by that.

    • stop your (donkey) sobbing says:

      Elephant knees? Nah. But someone said legs like parenthesis and I want to co-sign on THAT.

    • Donkey Tonk Badonkadonk says:

      I’ve been making fun of this cone for years now, and this is the first time I’ve heard about her ‘elephant’ knees.


  30. DirtyLakeMichigan says:

    Hmmm… if I’m remembering correctly, a lot of the more bitter feedback she’s received, ( I don’t believe she’s gotten emails or phone calls or all the other things she’s claiming), is usually a reaction to some vile, heinous, hurtful, vindictive, sneaky plot she’s just done/said. So, if someone comments on her article providing the prequel to what led someone to leave those comments or non-emails and she ends up looking like the original loon, is that considered bullying??? It’s worrisome she doesn’t seem to remotely see her part in this.

    • Bouncing Little Burro says:

      Good point.

    • New Year New You says:

      Here’s the thing, continuous/and or threatening emails, txts, calls really is harassment, doesn’t matter what she’s said. You don’t like internet comments or tweets, well then get off tumblr, disable comments, close or hide your social media accounts. It’s really all very simple.

  31. Bouncing Little Burro says:

    This reads as “…they said I was fat!!!” God grow up. Celebrities deal with attacks on their appearance all the time. No mention of the actual, valid critique of her vapid life found on this website.

    Also, that e-mail or comment about wanting to punch her in the face is extreme. Way to take an extreme quote to represent the community of haters. No one here wishes her physical ill-will.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      The only physical “ill will” I wish her is that she starts getting some fucking sleep. Is that the concern of a bully? I think not!

      I maintain that she is so crazy and looks so bad because she never sleeps. Lack of sleep will make you barking and age you terribly. I really believe that’s what’s ailing her, physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc. Honey, refill that Ambien scrip and make yourself get eight hours for the next six months. You might even land that McCain and your life will be much less dramatic, with no middle-of-the-night Morning Muffin e-mails to people you think are your “haters” but who are actually just the audience you invited to your show but who really found the show sucked and was frequently morally offensive.

    • NorseHorse Will Never The Donkey says:

      “…they said I was fat!!!” – See, this is also where she’s making her public case that as a fellow celebrity, she understands their pain, the physical scrutiny that Hollywood stars must endure. The japes! She’s really trying to laughably put herself in that league, while she’s also trying to shut down free speech and civil liberties. Just amazing and quackadoodle.

  32. Wonky Donkey says:


    Yes, that many people use social media but most of us also use filters, lock things and don’t spill that kind of personal information even with those filters and locks. Why? Because we have standards. If you 1. put it out there 2. promote it to hell and 3. share inappropriate things time and time again, people are gonna say something. See that little lock on Twitter? It means your tweets are protected so that “haters” can’t see them. Learn it, use it, and fuck off already.

  33. Canklehausen by Proxy says:

    If my comment gets deleted I am going to be forced to let Dawn K. Shedd out of the basement. She is not a happy lady– she hasn’t had any Cheetos in WEEKS.

    Beware the wrath of Dawn Katherine Shedd.


    • Bouncing Little Burro says:

      Well ji-fucking-nx. Except I got all law school 101 and you did it more concisely. ‘evs. Great minds think alike.

      • Canklehausen by Proxy says:

        I can’t see any of the comments! I hate your website, insidebrayarea.com!

        • darling mrs. melissa sue [calm down!] says:

          bully. what will all the girls think? you should be ashamed!

    • Guam Motherboy Association says:

      Oh snap! Snapitty snap snap! nice!

  34. Bouncing Little Burro says:

    I don’t even know how this cyber-police would be legal under the Constitution (as applied to her and other web celebrities). 1st Amendment free speech rights apply to exactly this – governmental actions that seek to burden speech. When government seeks to burden speech, they have a hell of a time proving to the Supreme Court that such action is necessary to a compelling state interest. Most times, the laws get overturned because this right to free speech is very heavily protected. There are some instances where the Supreme Court uses a more lenient standard, for examples in instances of “hate words”, obscenity, speech that incites immediate lawlessness, etc. But that speech has to meet a very narrow definition. Hate speech is one that puts the person being spoken to in serious risk of imminent bodily harm…and the Supremes mean really really immediate. None of this applies in this situation.

    Another thing, off-line, citizens have this thing called 4th Amendment protection from unreasonable searches and seizures. Lots of criminals get off because the evidence linking them to a crime has been obtained in violation of 4th Amendment. Once again, that is because the Constitution values a balance between government involvement and individual privacy.

    Bottom line – you’re advocating a serious challenge to the Constitution by invoking your carebear stare cyber-police crap. The Constitution was created to protect certain rights Americans believe are absolute. Sometimes the result is absolutely not fair, but you can’t please everyone. I ABSOLUTELY believe that there should be protections for private individuals who would like to stay private (but continue using twitter, facebook, etc.), but you’re a public persona. As a result, you get the same level of criticism that public personas usually get. Why don’t you understand that?

    • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

      TV is on (24/7) & now this is stuck in my head:

      CLAW & ORDER
      Speshul Victims Unit

      Ripped From The Headlines:
      “By Hooker, by Crook”

    • JFA says:

      She doesn’t understand any of this. None of it. It’s very, very embarrassing. This column is a piece of shit. My god. She doesn’t analyze one real issue or one implication of censoring meanies online. It’s amazing how bad it is. Seriously, wow.

    • solidarity cat says:

      Seriously, Julia?? The Supreme Court just upheld the right of the westboro baptist church to picket at soldiers’ funerals. Unless julia wants to go to the supreme court to silence a bunch of harmless (and tiny and cute!) cat ladies, she better step off. She really is the most ridiculous person I’ve ever come across. But really, Julia, good luck with all of that.

  35. Fauxga Party! says:

    Dear Julia,

    Middle school was a shitty time in my life. But I moved on, and so should you.

    The world is a big place. If you feel that you still deserved to be coddled, get off the Internet.


  36. ElGuapo says:

    And cue the talking head appearance on CNBC or Headline News on Sunday morning at 6:30 am or the local Chicago 5 o’clock news. Am sure her “agent” is already sending her drivel to tv editors pitching the “cyberbullying” angle so the can do a story featuring none other than international columnist and media personality Julie Albertson.

  37. darling mrs. melissa sue [calm down!] says:

    Putting aside that she’s a terrible writer, a self-absorbed donkey and a whiney bitch, this article makes NO SENSE. If you were not familiar with Julia’s vanity blahg, you would have absolutely, 100% no fucking clue what she is talking about.

    Then, putting that aside as well, WHAT THE FUCK?!? With everything going on in our country, not to mention THE WORLD, is she kidding with this? Our government, which is minutes away from shuttering its doors because our elected representatives can’t get their shit together, should spend time protecting poor, little Julie from someone like ME?! Give me a break.

    • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

      With everything going on in our country, not to mention THE WORLD, is she kidding with this?

      Japan is just … disintegrating. Daily. And all this international fame ho can think of to say to an audience of more than 100+ cindy-cated newspaper outlets is how her feelings get hurt when she finds another mean thing said about her following her ceaseless quest for any & all eyes on her every burp, fart & giggle.

      Donkey, when you are endlessly fishing for compliments, there’s no telling what you’re going to reel in — some of what you snag will fall into the catch-&-release category. Put down your Hello Kitty rod-n-reel & call it a bray — it’s time.

    • Brianna says:

      Which is funny in and of itself.

      She thinks people will just ‘know’ that she is NOT RANDOM! That she is so popular there’s a whole BLOG about her shenanigans!

      Whereas the casual reader is going to wonder WTF this grown woman is going on about – mean emails to adults is a cause now? What?

  38. juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

    There was a comment on the insidebayarea.com page, but now it’s gone. What happened? It wasn’t mean. It was well-reasoned and thoughtful.

    • Grimace says:

      I keep reading that as insidebrayarea.

    • Canklehausen by Proxy says:

      I think it was mine. I even logged back into facebook and I still can’t see it. WTF?

      • bf says:

        I see this:
        Katy Schumaker5:37 pm
        Cyber police? Because someone said something that hurt your feelings?

        America is a great nation because we hold the marketplace of ideas to be sacred. The essence of democracy is freedom of expression. Americans have fought hard to keep free speech– even unpopular speech– protected. Sure, it’s important to keep kids protected from bullying because they’re kids. But I assume that you are a grown woman (unless this column was written by some high school essay contest winner– was it? My apologies if so). Is it really that hard to just not read things you don’t like?

        • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

          Oh it is posted on two different pages on insidebayarea.com, apparently they have multiple papers that are serviced by one site. Newspaper sites are so awful.

  39. Grimace says:

    God she is sooooo trying to imitate and impress Cindy. She’s attempting to mimic Cindy’s commentary and tweets about the Congo etc except her “cause” is ridic.

  40. JFA says:

    Hahaha! This is so eminently retarded that I cannot even comment on it. Jesus Christ.

  41. Hobby Partner says:

    One of the main newspapers in the country I’m living in recently started requiring commenters to identify themselves by full name before being allowed to comment on its website. You know what happened? No one comments anymore. It’s not that comments were even uncivil or harassing in the first place, but that not everyone wants themselves to be present on Google searches, for a variety of reasons.

    Julia thinking cyber police should be a real thing not only shows her overall ignorance about how that would affect free speech, but how the current economic crisis is affecting Americas. Has she uttered a word about Wisconsin? Ohio? Planned Parenthood? And yet “social media” has been integral in organizing and disseminating information about what’s going on there…

    • Brianna says:

      Exactly. If I work in a conservative environment, I don’t want co-workers googling me and finding comments I’ve made supporting Planned Parenthood. If I work in a liberal environment, I don’t want people discovering a secret respect for Sarah Palin.

      Because these personal feelings have nothing to do with my work environment, but sadly a difference in politics CAN create a hostile environment if you make it known.

      • SO TRUE. I mentioned yesterday that I had based my NCAA bracket on President Obama’s and there was this hissing intake of breath from all the cubes around me. I don’t need to antagonize anyone who might have an influence on my paycheck, good Lord.

  42. Donkey of Perdition says:

    I thought of Julia when I read this.

    • Donkey of Perdition says:

      Ooh here we go, sorry had hard time finding the address of the image.


  43. JustaDude says:

    Just the fact that she ignored EVERYTHING going on in the world and how Social Media is the definitive communication tool and STILL thought her personal cyberbullying bent was appropriate, shows how stubborn and clueless she is. She can only think if herself. This is a shining opportunity to show the benefits of a nascent media revolution but nope. She could’ve redeemed herself with something along the lines of “I was going to write about Internet name-callers, but then realized there are real tragedies in the world – “@mustafa123 in Bahrain tweets the secret police are on my block…” “@kimiko123 tweets pray for my brother in Sendai…” such a lost opportunity to rise above. But I didn’t expect her to.

  44. Records Custodian says:

    Dear Readers –

    I realize that my last column could easily give you the impression that I have faced scathing criticism through no fault of my own. That was irresponsible, and gave the impression that I was some sort of blameless victim enduring a disproportional reaction to the frivolous, fun-spirited minutia I have published on my personal corner of the web. Nothing could be further from the truth.

    I have over a dozen social media accounts, upon which I have uploaded thousands of pictures and videos of myself. I spend upwards of 20 hours a day online, monitoring, updating, and cultivating an audience in the hopes that I can parlay my self-absorption into a well-paying career. I have targeted friends in the right industries to help me in this endeavor, including the sister of the founder of Facebook. I have donned a cheerleader uniform, posed in my underwear with old men and dressed in a condom costume, just to get a mention on Gawker.

    I knew I needed to hitch myself to the right men to keep the attention flowing, and I targeted guys the way I targeted friends. You would probably recognize the names of my exes if you read Gawker – I didn’t so much date as I cross-branded! Hell, I even had one ex sign a contract, promising to blog about us! Unfortunately, nary a one of my exes wants anything to do with me anymore, as I am one of those girls who kisses and tells. And tells and tells and tells.

    As you can imagine, this kind of relentless self-promotion garnered me more than a few critical comments. But it wasn’t until I did some really heinous and cruel things that I became the object of internet scorn. Remember that guy I made sign the relationship-blogging contract? Well, a month after we broke up, he went off to Mexico with some arty chick and I was livid. I announced not once, not twice, but three times (the last time, on Gawker) that he had a mental illness for which he refused to take medication. This was shortly after he was ousted from the company he founded, and even though I thought he was pretty far below my standards and kind of a nerd, people really reacted negatively to my little disclosure.

    To make matters worse, a few months later, I sent an email to him, trying to guilt him into buying me a Macbook Air, and some asshole hater got wind of it and published it. So now everyone who cared about the social lives of a bunch of navel-gazing twenty-somethings in NYC knew I was flippant about revealing such private information about him and not in the least bit apologetic. I became a social pariah. Hell, like I told ABC (all publicity is good publicity), even my own mother stopped talking to me for a while.

    You would think this would cause me to do some heavy soul-searching, but you don’t really understand my obsession with attention. I launched a new blog and called it a business, leaked to anyone PR rep who would listen that I would soon be starring in a show on Bravo, did more kissing and telling, dressed up in more costumes, and eventually, made my way to the cover of Wired Magazine. The subject of the story? Being famous for being a nobody. It was the high point of my career.

    But every high point has its inevitable downfall. Eventually, I had a falling out with my “business” partners, the Bravo show never happened, and all of the “friends” I carefully cultivated stopped wanting to be associated with me. I never actually acknowledged any of my personal failures or my heinous acts towards others and just kept up with the manic social media posting about my so-called fabulous life. I also did what every lonely single girl does – I blogged, stalked and harassed my exes and their new loves, trying everything in my power to get the last word and maybe show them what they were missing. In the name of closure, of course.

    When the meager opportunities dried up in NYC (although I am still a big hit in cabs in Manhattan), I told some weird story about moving to Chicago to write a column. It is a syndicated column – hell, you’re reading it in one of the four newspapers that picked it up – so where I live is sort of immaterial, but it was important to me that no one think I was leaving NYC with my tail tucked between my legs. Without the permission of my new employer, Tribune Media Services, I arranged a fauxtoshoot (as my detractors call them) to announce my new column and arrival in Chicago. Reinvention would be mine.

    And then, I struck gold. Through one of my strategic friendships, this one with Meghan McCain, daughter of John McCain, the guy who wanted Sarah Palin to be second in command, I met Jack McCain. Sure, he’s in the Navy, which isn’t very photo-friendly, and he’s young and moving overseas for his career, but he is the son of a bona fide, bold face name. It was exactly what I was looking for – a shot of adrenaline for my dwindling relevancy and internet fame. I am currently mining this relationship for every ounce of publicity it can get me, although I must admit, I am getting far less attention for it than I was hoping for. I am, however, optimistic that when it ends, I will have a trove of McCain dirty secrets to spill, so I have that in the vault.

    I am telling you readers this not to brag, but to give you some context. We all make mistakes. I am not perfect. But I don’t deserve to be criticized for my mistakes or otherwise held accountable for my behavior. If you only knew me in real life, you would love me and find me irresistible and charming. And the stories I could tell you about my so-called victims – man, I have some dirt I could share. But what I do deserve is the ability to make a great living by just being Julia Allison, and I simply will not abide a bunch of losers talking shit about me on the internet. If you don’t like me, don’t follow me and don’t read anything I have to say. But you don’t have any right to have an opinion about me and you sure as shit don’t have any right to express that opinion. Unless you want to say something nice. In which case, my email is julia@julia.com. Please know that I reserve the right to edit and publish your email whenever it works for me.

    The Julia who would never have the stones to write this

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      The most beautiful thing I have ever read. If I wasn’t in bed and reading it on my berry, I would make it a separate post.

      Kisses to you!

      • Julia's Old Nose says:

        My my, that was a beautiful tome! I would embed some animated GIF’s of people clapping, but I’m not sure at all how to do that, so just imagine one here and that will have to do.

    • Dr. Gary says:


    • NorseHorse Will Never The Donkey says:

      Freaking amazing. Bravo indeed. Most impressive.

  45. KashMoney says:

    SHE QUOTED ME!!!! I am an internationally syndicated commentator!!!!

  46. Jordache and the Pelts says:

    Forgive me if I’m repeating (exam tomorrow exhausted) but “elephant’s knees”?!! I’ve been around since Baugher and all through rbns and never ever seen that specific slur flung about. Julia is delusional and trolling for her next 2.0, which is looking like cyber bully victim. I’d love to see this 30 yr old extremely self documented fame whore with pelts with omg rent free downtown condo and a McCain under the green flaps become the poster child for bullying. Seriously, it would affirm how bankrupt we really are as a culture. Haha, her new pr reps have quite a task marketing aging self inflicted plastic as the victim of a new media which she’ll readily claim as her own construct. It’s not going to happen.
    Julia needs to stop making shit happen when the overwhelming response indicates she is not valid and tremendously opportunistic and insincere.

    • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

      I cursory search for this site does not display any matching results for that phrase.

    • Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

      yeah, never heard elephant’s knees myself.

    • little birdies dress me says:

      I have heard elephant’s knees and I think it was very recent, naturally in response to a photo. I remember it because I went back to look at the photo to see what it meant.

  47. ethel-egg says:

    I am victim hear me roar,
    From my mullet to the floor,
    And I know too much because I’m already fucking the dude from the airforce,
    Cos I’ve already fucked over redacted here before,
    And I’ve been there on the floor,
    No one’s ever going to keep me down agaaaaiiiiinnnnn

    Yeah, poetic licence.

  48. Naansociety says:

    Wow, this is quite possible the most self-serving thing I’ve ever read or heard of since, oh, I don’t know, the Bush or Palin autobiographies. It’s jaw-droppingly amazing that she makes a connection to herself, an online personality who interprets what are in essence bad reviews as hate, to actually innocent (mostly) kids who have done nothing or little to provoke nonstop harassment by their peers. The fact that she uses the word “commenter” in the piece, to describe her “bullies,” shows her hand in a way she probably wish it didn’t; that word shows/proves that the treatment she’s receiving is a response to her work and online identity. We are commenting on something that she made public, the way you might make a remark about a building on a street (versus breaking into someone’s home and making fun of their couch; in the former example criticism is inevitable; in the latter it’s indeed a transgression). This isn’t picking on some poor kid who doesn’t deserve or ask for it. Just like an actor who gets on a stage or chef who opens a restaurant, she’s put herself in front of the public to be judged; what we’re delivering are our thoughts in relation and reaction to her. That she can’t see that shows that she will always always ALWAYS play the victim card

  49. cindy mccain's medicine cabinet says:

    So she writes a column on cyberbullying and it’s simply because her feelings are hurt over being told she has fat fingers, basically? No mention of the gay kids who have killed themselves, no mention of the girl who killed herself after being bullied online by the parent of a classmate, none of these stories?
    Ugh go move to China, Julia Allison. They have some really great internet censorship over there.

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