Julia Allison, International Columnist, Completely Gives Up on Nouns, Verbs

Young achievers are tutored in every soccer technique and calculus problem, but when it comes to their most important decisions—whom to marry and whom to befriend, what to love and what to despise—they are on their own. Nor, for all their striving, do they understand the qualities that lead to the highest achievement. Intelligence, academic performance, and prestigious schools don’t correlate well with fulfillment, or even with outstanding accomplishment. The traits that do make a difference are poorly understood, and can’t be taught in a classroom, no matter what the tuition: the ability to understand and inspire people; to read situations and discern the underlying patterns; to build trusting relationships; to recognize and correct one’s shortcomings; to imagine alternate futures. In short, these achievers have a sense that they are shallower than they need to be.

New Yorker, “Social Animal

Stunningly written, brilliant, important.

Unbelievably pretentious, unexplained, retarded.

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129 Responses to Julia Allison, International Columnist, Completely Gives Up on Nouns, Verbs

  1. Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

    Donkey is projecting onto the collective parents of the world her own ‘$ers failure to impart any wisdom into her own pelted head.

    • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

      I’ll be damned. The above is so poorly written that I initially assumed it was Donkey’s own writing about being a failed student of life. No wonder she relates.

  2. FIRSTTTTT or close to it anyway.

    If you want to donate to help an actual donkey get rescued from Iraq, click here:


  3. bitchface says:

    Julia Allison always acts like she just discovered hooooomans. I’m with @BigHead above; I think she is amazed-ballz at all those who actually feel things and who already know this bullshit by the time they’re 25.

  4. wonkeye says:

    She knows that if it’s in the New Yorker, it’s probably well-written and grammatically correct (unlike anything she’s ever shat out onto a page) , so she can give it the ole two-opposable-sausage-snappers-up without making a complete ass of herself. And she recognized the words “social,” “marry,” and “shallower,” so she knows it’s important. To her at least.

    • SFish says:

      I was having HORRIBLE deja vu reading the whole piece, like, WHY does this sound so familiar and where have I read this before?? Until I looked back at the landing page and realized it was published two months ago, in January. Because unlike JA, I actually READ the New Yorker.

  5. bitchface says:

    also, OT but is she insinuating that Tim Ferris (she casually dated for like 5 minutes a year ago!) gave her 15 minute orgasms?

    Jessie838314 hours ago
    I just went to his website and the claims he makes are pretty ridiculous. Apparently this book teaches a person “How to increase fat-loss 300% with a few bags of ice,” “How to sleep 2 hours per day and feel fully rested,” and (my favorite) “How to produce 15-minute female orgasms.” Please! I was genuinely curious about the book when you posted this, but come on… sounds like a total crock to me!

    juliaallison [Moderator] 14 hours ago in reply to Jessie8383
    haha he’s for real, trust me. very much for real.

    LOL. Did she cry after?

    • That was my take on it too.

    • monster says:

      i love when a man writes about how to produce a female orgasm. how would he know? he will never truly know whether or not his partner reached orgasm – especially when you are boning chicks like Julia, who simulate the “sex” that Cosmo taught them.

    • Jacy says:

      I wish one of her commenters would point out to her that she claimed it was NuLean that resulted in a 10-pound weight loss, not this short little bald lunatic who she used to Tweet post-coital smiley faces about.

      • white coat says:

        Someone did. Unless it was Julia herself. I could see her reading your comment here and deciding to “vindicate” herself.

        • Jacy says:

          My God, the comments are filled with “I’m genuinely curious” prefaces. Hilarious.

          Also, the explanation is “in the queue,” bunnies!

    • Scooby Don't says:

      Sometimes I read it as Tim Ferret, sometimes as Tim Feral.

      However I will always never the donkey!

    • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

      Who would want a 15 minute orgasm?

      • ET says:

        This made me guffaw.

        You’re right though. I can barely stand them as long as they are now, and 15 minutes is a very long time for that kind of activity.

      • stop your (donkey) sobbing says:

        Right? My first thought was “they’re long enough” when I first read his claims. Leave it to a dude to want to make it last as long as possible.

      • DirtyLakeMichigan says:

        I was juuuuuusst thinking this and here you are reading my thoughts. Seriously. I think I’d have a stroke!

      • featherbrained says:

        THANK YOU!!!

        Please may I never, ever, have a 15 minute orgasm.

        • Donkey Tonk Badonkadonk says:

          If it were 15 1-minute orgasms, I’d be purring my fat, furry face off.

      • Onocentaur says:

        when you only work four hours a week, you need SOMETHING to fill the time.

      • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

        Tomcat and I were watching an older episode of Parks & Rec the other night — I think it was Ron and Tammy, Part I — and Ron Swanson describes the sex with his ex-wife: “It’s like peyote and a sneeze that lasts six minutes.” The littermate and I nearly rolled off the sofa.

        • featherbrained says:

          I love this show!! I hear it’s getting renewed next season. Could not be happier.

      • idiotbox says:

        Amen, sister! It just sounds uncomfortable.

    • Donkey of Perdition says:

      He reminds me of that self help guru from Dexter.

  6. My nostrils are TOTALLY symmetrical! says:

    She thinks this article is brilliant because it excuses why she’s such a piece of trash.

    • Donkey Tonk Badonkadonk says:

      She knew it all along, but it’s great to have confirmation: Julia is better than Brother Brit and his unfulfilling intelligence. No wonder Julia is floating on a bliss cloud, while her poor sibling is wallowing in misery.

  7. jpa says:

    Any article that describes who you marry as the most important decision you’ll ever make, sucks in my opinion.

    It basically sounds like this is saying social intelligence is the key to success. Which I believe can be true. This concept is also not a new one. It also can help explain why Donkey isn’t successful at anything.

    • sad lilly says:

      She succeeded in making me dislike her.

    • Sausage Snappers says:

      Tangent, and I’m interested in what y’all think: I think deciding who you’re gonna marry and start an entire legacy or family with is a big frickin deal and one of the most important decisions you can make. Who will help you raise your kids and/or contribute DNA? Be there for you when your parents fall ill or die? Be a good roommate? Help pay the expenses? Be a good movie-watching partner? Help make important decisions? When you get married you’re choosing who will be sharing the same milestone moments as you for the rest of your life while dealing with regular daily life crap. Your husband or wife is the only family member you’ll ever get to choose in your life (unless you adopt), and it really bothers me when people diminish that importance. Hell, it’s probably why divorce is so high.

      That’s why it doesn’t bother me when people are genuinely good for each other and express happiness about tying the knot. It really is frickin exciting, and I’m happy for people who manage it.

      • cupcake cray cray says:

        I agree with you completely.

      • woodwork lurker says:

        Agreed. However, it bothers me when it’s touted as “the” most important decision because some of us have no desire to get married. So the idea that you “will” marry is annoying and borderline offensive.

        • It’s offensive to anyone who doesn’t fit the “norm”. People who are not allowed to marry, or who love more than one person or whatever.

          • Sausage Snappers says:

            This too. Hopefully someday our society will open up its mind to love in all its forms.

        • LEFOOLIEH says:

          I agree with you and SS, and I think it depends on how you look at it. From a Julia perspective it isn’t about marriage at all – that’ll be work. It’s OMG!!!!1!!!11!! ~* engagement parties! diamond ring! my fiance! wedding planning & blow out wedding! pay attention to meeeee! bride & groom fauxto shoots! wedding dress shopping! bridesmaids! tearing up! my hubby my hubby my hubby!*~ I believe when the real challenges set in she’ll revert from excited newlywed/happy married to petulant and entirely selfish whiner. She won’t be happy to share all the milestones and the challenges and the love, she’ll be eagerly planning renewal of vows (complete with recreating her speshul day/having some entirely new event similar to her wedding) every single year. It’s also just kind of sad when things like marriage or having children are taken lightly. Doing it because you’re approaching your expiration date (can’t be a spinster, you know! ANYONE will do!), doing it because society deems it “the next step” rather than really, truly wanting either of them for yourself or caring about the deep emotion that comes with it. It’s exactly how resentful marriages that end in divorce and terrible non-nurturing parenting happens.

          • jpa says:

            Agree. Julia sees it as OMG the most important decision ever…which dress, which cake ect.,

      • D says:


        I see how the assumption that everyone will or wants to get married can be annoying, but I don’t think that’s really what SS is talking about here.

        For those that do, the decision IS and SHOULD be a big deal. For those that genuinely want a life partner, and have very luckily found that person, it also irks me when they are mocked. Not the people who get married for status or money or because everyone else is doing it and they must be OMG part of the club because of expiration, but for those of us (yes, I admit it) who are seeking a genuine connection to another person for life, the decision should be something that has been thoughtfully considered for all the reasons stated above.

        Now, it’s not my end all be all, but it’s important to me and a lot of other women. The fact that I want to find (may have found) that person and actually want to get married isn’t basis for mocking on it’s own. And I don’t think it’s a rant against someone who doesn’t want to get married at all. It’s not a judgment that since someone doesn’t want to get married they obviously don’t have any big life decisions or any other purpose in life. One has nothing to do with the other.

        • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

          It was the biggest decision I ever made, and I mean the time I got it wrong AND the time I got it right (so far). If you marry at all and choose wrongly, every element of life is shadowed by the misery. If you marry at all and choose wisely, every element of life is lightened a little.

          But I would like to say on behalf of my many never-married friends, they do have family they chose. We have one another. I consider my group of lifelong friends a choice right up there with the choice of my mate. I’ve had the same best friend since I was four years old — that woman is as much a sister to me as my biological sister, AND I got to choose to keep her. Win/win/win!

        • Sausage Snappers says:

          This exactly. It seems almost taboo this days to admit that finding a good husband is an important goal in life if that’s what you want.

        • D says:

          Edit to add: important to everyone. Not just women.

          Also, I’m still a bit confused as to how expressing the opinion that getting married and choosing a life partner is a big decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly, is offensive to anyone else?

          In fact, because our country isn’t fair and not everyone has the right to do it, that should be even more reason to take the decision-whether or not to marry and to whom-even more seriously. I just don’t see how me, or anyone thinking about it, are being offensive. Maybe I misunderstood.

          • woodwork lurker says:

            No offense taken at what anyone here has said. I just don’t like that “whom to marry” in the article touted as the most important decision since it is framed as an imperative and implies that it is something one should do. As Stalker said, it excludes those of us who don’t fit the norm. Sort of tangential and not meant to insult anyone here.

      • jpa says:

        I agree with you in some respects but I’m also a child of divorce. I DO think that it’s an important decision and one that should not be taken lightly. But to me, maybe because I’m not sure if I want to get married, it’s not the OMG most important decision I’ll ever make.

        • jpa says:

          And I also think that people do it just to do it. That’s what is offensive to me. And then acting smug and superior because you got married. Just because I chose different things in life, doesn’t mean my life is less significant, less important than yours.

  8. Speaking as a parent I must say that it is utter bullshit that I don’t advise my children on whom to marry and whom to befriend, what to love and what to despise. It’s called instilling VALUES. Most parents do it.

    • My nostrils are TOTALLY symmetrical! says:

      I was just going to make this point. If your parents don’t do those things, they’re not doing the best job with what they’ve been given.

    • DirtyLakeMichigan says:

      My kids, at least 2 of them, seem to be the type who are clueless regarding another’s true intention(s). I’ve had to flat-out tell them people can be real shits and then point out specific examples. (I’ve actually had to point out to my oldest who was an ahole and why. He’s only 10) As awful as I feel calling a child a jerk, I try to remember my own parents never, ever said a ‘bad’ word about anyone or any of our choices and man… it took me forever to realize not everyone is a ‘good’ person.
      The JA’s of the world are EXACTLY the specimen I would hold up to my daughter as an example of what to NOT do. Ever.

      • I don’t feel bad calling another kid a jerk. Some kids just are Aholes. And should be identified as such.

      • Who do you think you are? says:

        To add to that point, my mom was careful to blame parents where appropriate for children’s bad behavior. I had a best friend/nemesis growing up (we competed all the time, for years, for grades, boys, leads in plays, first chair in orchestra, spots on sports teams, etc) and by the time we had our final falling out, my mom had allowed me to see that it was this girl’s mother’s need to have her child be “the best” that was resulting in my and the girl’s ongoing misery and eventual end of our friendship.

        If nothing else, it helped me be more compassionate toward people and understand the roots of their behavior.

  9. Cankles says:

    [img]http://www.flickr.com/photos/blogumentary/2332968271/[/img] happy pi day

    I tried to find the really dumb pi day video they did while trying to land rich start up guys but it has been erased.

  10. Scooby Don't says:

    “Prestigious schools don’t correlate well with fulfillment”
    Did you remember to underline, star, bedazzle and OMG this phrase during your in depth analysis of this “[S]tunningly written, brilliant, important” article, you status whoring burro?

  11. Sausage Snappers says:

    Your parents are who teach you those things. And hers dropped the ball. Hard.

  12. Princess WideStance says:

    It always amazes me how easily impressed she is by decent writing.

    • wonkeye says:

      Did you see the comment policy:


      Didn’t Julie Albertson, social-media expert, warn us that all-caps were bad just last week? They must be getting tons of anon “she sucks ass” comments.

      • Care Bear Stare (Pelt-a-Polozza) says:

        To me it’s more telling that there are NO COMMENTS. Her articles are such a big “who cares.”

      • BunnyBingo says:

        What a weirdly aggressive statement to readers – anyone who felt inspired to comment “Oh what a cute article” (hah!) would think twice after seeing that policy. Needless to say the article is 90% quotes, not a unique thought to be found.

      • sad lilly says:

        Love the one comment she’s gotten so far:

        “How does one become a veteran columnist? Get fired from every column they’ve ever written? Having Julia Allison write a social media column is like having Hosni Mubarack write a guide to building a successful democracy.”

        • Canklehausen by Proxy says:

          They should replace Julie with the catlady that wrote this column. Spot on!

    • Dr. Gary says:

      She’s so lazy! This isn’t a new column. It’s a re-hash of “Baby Needs a New Pair of Tweets”


  13. donk donk. who's there? says:

    hello, long-time lurker here. i hope you don’t mind me barging in, but i want to donate to japan, and some of you were talking about reputable charities a few threads back. i’ve been wanting to get involved with SAVE THE CHILDREN and they are definitely involved in the japan relief effort. do any of you have any experience with them? thank you in advance. love this blog, i learn so much. great community. julia’s an ass.

  14. Is she trying to imply that she is young? Or an achiever?

    Madam, you are neither.

  15. Ehehehe says:

    She just posted “A little note to the bullies”


    • Scooby Don't says:

      She’s really working towards something with this…. book deal, TV pundit gig or ring by consolation.

    • Ehehehe says:

      My favorite quote, “Does it make you feel better about yourself, to tear me down? Is it fun to band together and scapegoat someone whom you have probably never met – but nonetheless have decided to hate?”

      LOL okay, Julia….

      • Sausage Snappers says:

        This whole “never meeting” thing is such bullshit. I don’t have to meet every person in the world to know there are plenty of bad eggs out there.

        • stop your (donkey) sobbing says:

          It’s also bullshit because PLENTY of people in this community have met her, and decided they do not like her.

          Why she is unable to grasp that concept is beyond comprehension.

          • Convenient Feminist says:

            Met her several times, actually, and have had face-to-face and email conversations with her. Not a fan.

      • Waited on satin, got stuck with polyester (DWR) says:

        How is she a scapegoat? She does stupid things and people call her out on it. We’re not using her as the universal representative of other people doing stupid things. We’re not scapegoating her. We’re basically saying, “Hey Julia, you put shit out on the internet. The shit you put out their stinks.”

    • HipsterLawyerGrifter says:

      I am experiencing a strange mixture of brayge, second-hand embarrassment, and the urge to laugh uncontrollably. Is this what Canklehausen by Proxy feels like?

    • specialsnowflake says:

      the irony of her shouting “victim” when it comes to harassment is just too deliciously delusional to ignore. but i’d like to keep my job so i can’t respond! we;; done julsie!

      julsie: no one is actually going to respond to this because we’ve all seen the great lengths you will go to in order to silence your haters. i’d love to say i’m not intimidated by these tactics, but i’m not.

      • white coat says:

        Exactly. Oh, here you go, Julia! My real name so Dadsers can send me c&d letter and “Jack McCain’s lawyer” can call my office!

    • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

      Mom$er must not be around to pen Donkey’s speech for tomorrow.

  16. HipsterLawyerGrifter says:

    You guys. Her ‘note to the bullies.’ So many logical assumptions and fallacies that I Kant Even. I will never, ever the Donkey.

    Also, Donks, if you really care about finding out who I am, the information I have given out about myself during my time as an active commenter, plus a quick, narrowly-focused Facebook search, should reveal my name. Have fun. There’s nothing you can do to me.

    • Bouncing Little Burro says:

      Hmm…when I click on the link (or go directly from nonsociety.com), the internet connection times out. Any other cats experiencing this?

  17. discarded tutu says:

    Clean-up on Twitter Aisle 9:

    juliaallison12:37pm via Echofon (http://twitter.com/juliaallison/status/47350580376645633)
    What do you think motivates people who set up anonymous twitter accounts solely to insult other people?

    juliaallison1:01pm via web (http://twitter.com/juliaallison/status/47356814043521024)
    A little note to my bullies – why don’t you stop being cowards & admit your real names? http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/3857989912

    juliaallison1:03pm via web (http://twitter.com/juliaallison/status/47357183129698304)
    Do you actually think that hiding behind “free speech” means it’s okay to endlessly harass someone – anyone?? When is enough, enough?

    juliaallison1:04pm via web (http://twitter.com/juliaallison/status/47357427531792384)
    Do you believe that you are righting a wrong? That you are the vigilante enacting “internet justice”?

    juliaallison1:04pm via web (http://twitter.com/juliaallison/status/47357511057154048)
    AND IF YOU DO – if you TRULY believe that your behavior is warranted – WHY DO YOU DO IT ANONYMOUSLY?

    juliaallison1:07pm via web (http://twitter.com/juliaallison/status/47358171177697280)
    @JayVig – I’ve tried that. They go AFTER my friends, family & employers. If they stayed to themselves it might not be as bad. But they don’t

    Getting ready for her panel this week, mayb?

    • Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

      barking up the wrong tree, Julia. the vast majority of catladies here have never contacted julia, her family, boyfriends, or employers (*snort*), and have no interest in doing so. most people here just think julia is a tool. and i’m sure she holds the same opinion about some people she knows. newsflash, julia: opinions, we can haz them. but she is completely misguided as to the motivation for this site.

      • HipsterLawyerGrifter says:

        Also, the Twitter fake accounts aren’t from us, but rather from some crazy outliers, right? At least, I thought that was established. Jules, if you look hard enough, you’ll find tons of commenters here urging people not to contact you or anyone involved with you.

        • Bouncing Little Burro says:

          We seriously need a huge disclaimer about that. I know there are some commenters here who go off the reservation from time to time…that doesn’t reflect the intent of the community.

          • Bouncing Little Burro says:

            Worst comment ever. Lemme retry:

            We seriously need a huge disclaimer stating that the website strongly discourages direct contact with the subject matter. The majority of the commenters here know better than to contact her boyfriends and family, but I know some commenters here go off the reservation from time to time. Those commenters don’t reflect the intent of the community of being here just for the lulz.

          • HipsterLawyerGrifter says:

            Hear, hear.

      • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

        “A little note to my bullies – why don’t you stop being cowards & admit your real names?”

        Why, Donkey, WHY? Real names have been posted on here past & present, but you’ve yet to have a hindleg to stand on when it comes to doing anything w/ that info.

        • Waited on satin, got stuck with polyester (DWR) says:

          Dear Lord, I’m about to get my rant on. Feel free to tl;dr

          I’ve given my real name in chat. I’ve also used my real twitter account to call her out when she tweeted something dumb. And my OMGreal facebook page to ‘like’ FreeRBNS. Chesca (I think that’s her name, she has awesome hair vlogs that is all I remember) has also used her real name here/called her out on twitter. Mary’s Bob (who Julia knows IRL) hangs out here, Julia’s ‘friends’ have been tipsters. We know Kendrick “the eagle flies at midnight” has been here at least once, Helena has linked to pictures of herself, Afghani has made it super easy to find him on facebook with his all-knowingness (you know I love you boo) and in the massive ‘real-life donkey spotting’ thread of greatness many commenters proved that they have met her, went to school with her or worked with her (MelissaSue I’m looking at you).

          People are not hiding behind anonymous screen names because we’re scared she’s going to ruin our lives. She’s an overbotoxed crazypants whp has no real power. People are using screennames because duh it’s an internet site and that’s what you do.

          She’s not a freaking victim and I wish she’d shut up. If I was getting this much hatred for ‘just being me’ on the internet I’d rethink who me was.

          I will never the donkey.

        • Donkey Tonk Badonkadonk says:

          I’ll use mine when she starts using hers.

    • white coat says:

      I’d say stirring things up for her panel, trying to land some kind of work as a bullying expert, and feeling pissy about the fact that she reportedly got her comeuppance at SXSW. Probably mostly the latter, as Julia Allison? Concerned about work? Right.

      • D says:

        What is the SXSW business people are talking about? Did she supposedly get told that she is not a pretty pretty princess with access to everything? Do tell!

    • Canklehausen by Proxy says:

      Crowdsourcing for material.

      Quelle surprise.

    • Julia's Rough Opening says:

      I’ve responded to her via Twitter before and that lists my real name.

      Also, Julia? (who never reads here) If you’re for transparency on the web, then why not also require all the commenters on your blerg that you do approve to include their full names? Oh, because they don’t exist?

    • Bouncing Little Burro says:

      I do agree with her about two things: contacting her directly is wrong, and creating shell twitter accounts just do comment on her twitter is stupid. I hate it when people do that. Do not poke the beast!

  18. Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

    eh, she just wants our email address.

  19. KashMoney says:

    The answer is simple: why does JAB have a hate site and Dick Cheney (for example) not? Cheney has done much worse things on a much worse scale, and there’s no question many people have literally died because of him and his actions.

    But the difference (and I’m sorry I’m not trying to bring up politics) is that Cheney has good qualities. At the very least, he is smart.

    But JAB: you have ZERO good qualities that I have seen. The only one that comes close is “ambitious” but you have no real amibitions or goals. You want to be married, but not in love. You want to be revered, but contribute nothing. And worst of all, you are completely incapable of admitting fault–mostly because I think you are literally incapable of conceiving you might be in the wrong.

    • Bouncing Little Burro says:

      “The answer is simple: why does JAB have a hate site and Dick Cheney (for example) not?”

      Good question. I’m sure Dick Cheney has websitses about him. At the very least, he used to get torn apart on a daily basis when he was VP. The reason that this site started was because Julia Allison wanted to be famous for doing nothing, splashed every intimate detail of her life on the internet, and as a result, created a fun (for us) online soap-opera. I imagine that RBNS started out as a community of original NS readers who became increasingly suspicious of the quality of the NS content, and decided to create RBNS so other NS readers could share their lulwhat? reactions to JA’s posts. It’s critique, not bullying.

      In life, one’s actions have consequenes (profound, I know). This site is the consequence of your actions, Julia. It’s a critique of the bullshit you publicly post in an attempt to become famous. You’re not a random livejournal bystandarder – you’re a public persona. As such, you should expect criticism.

      • KashMoney says:

        I don’t know how to do a screengrab, but her 2nd Facebook page has a bio that SHE wrote that refers to her as a “web celebrity”.

  20. MY Condo says:

    What does knowing Loren Feldman’s name do for you Donk? How does the fact that he hates what you put out there change by knowing his name? He comments here (with hilarity!) under his own name and uh, what? Also, you can bet your one dress size smaller ass that many of your former “sisters” and others you have burned or repelled comment here. So what?

  21. Permanent Braycation says:

    I was going to quit this site, before she got RBNS shut down, and then I was all fired up. Again, this is my reality tv. I do not contact or harrass her. This past week, I’ve been having second thoughts again (but you guys and gals are so funny, it keeps me here). But, does JA have a point? Or am I just easily manipulated?

    • Julia's Rough Opening says:

      I don’t feel comfortable with most of the body snarking, but her open letter to her haters is extremely manipulative. The tweets she cites, if they even do exist, are extreme examples and have little to do with the content she puts out there. She neglects to admit her responsibility in stirring the pot on RBNS on more than one occasion. As usual, she tries to rewrites history and accept responsibility for having “haters” in the first place. And for the record, Julia, I don’t hate you. You’re not worth my energy for that.

  22. Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

    also, WTF?
    melissagira: We can credit @mrskutcher’s ascent as a Women In Tech to the success of @juliaallison.

    DEMI MOORE, a ‘woman in tech’??? having a twitter account does not one a coder make.

    • Who do you think you are? says:

      It’s like when having a Tumblr that scrolls sideways (but with no media kit!) makes you a start-up.

      It’s like when crowd-sourcing on Twitter and quoting other news articles makes you a journalist.

      • Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

        i see, hahahaha!! tell me more! i’m genuinely curious, though!

    • KashMoney says:

      Correct. It requires two laptops, a desktop, an iPad and an iPhone — along with two Facebook profiles, three Twitter handles, a MySpace page, a LinkedIn account, a Flickr feed, four Tumblrs, three Movable Type blogs, one Quora account, and two YouTube channels.

    • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

      What? That doesn’t even begin to make sense …
      (1) Wasn’t Demi tweeting well before Donkey began bleating?
      (2) Did Donkey recruit more than 3.4 million+ followers for Demi?

  23. Andy Whorehol says:

    I would fucking love to go to that fucking “bullies” post and kindly explain to her exactly why we’re all here. And I’d also explain to her that clowning around and laughing at her deranged antics doesn’t make us “haters”, simply people who love to come here and collectively laugh at her ongoing bullshit. But why would I waste my time typing up something halfway informative and intelligent when she likely would delete it anyway? That is EXACTLY WHY WE ARE HERE. We have opinions. We don’t care for what she posts or how she presents herself as an “Internet Personality” online. But instead of building a community and actively trying to understand and engage her readers who both like/don’t like her, she just chooses to shut everyone else out who doesn’t gush over her and simply labels them as “haters” or “bullies.”

    Not everyone is going to fucking love you, Julia. Anyone with half a brain who doesn’t know you personally probably won’t love what they see of you online either. Why? Because to most of us, you have a grating, irritatingly self-absorbed, stealth-bitch presence on camera and in your blog posts that you either don’t know or don’t care to understand. And laughing at you here, poking fun at your shitshow, is no more harmful than anyone else commenting at a gossip site. And as a matter of fact, yes it fucking does make me feel fucking good about myself to come here and laugh at you because it makes me realize my life actually has purpose beyond the shallow bubble you display at your site. Why do you fucking care that I fucking come here to laugh at you? Don’t YOU have better things to do than even worry about us?? You obviously want to be a celebrity/journalist soooo fucking desperately it’s sad to watch, and yet your ego is so fragile that you can’t seem to understand that every celebrity out there has a certain group of folks that simply don’t care for that celebrity for a variety of reasons. Either accept it and move on or just shutter your blog and find a new career path if it bugs you that much.

    And do you know why people don’t attack me or the rest of us here who may have blogs/websites too? Because we’re not out there desperately chasing the famestick like you have for years now! And guess what? When *I* start filming endless pilots/going after reality show fame, throwing up pointless photoshoots of myself online showing off nearly every inch of my body, have an agent or three to promote myself and start thrusting my tits at Gawker/Wired/the American TV audiance repeatedly, then you can make fun of my bullshit and start a “hate site” starring me IMMEDIATELY!!!

    And do you know why we do this anonymously? Because most of us have actual professional careers that demand us to keep our names/personalities off the internet. You would actually know this if you spent one moment in the real professional world and understood how fragile the job market is and how people can actually get fired from REAL JOBS for things like posing in our panties and bras online and blogging online about our periods and sex lives and the state of our lovelifes/genital areas. Hey, wait a minute, didn’t YOU lose a job once because of that same behavior? So obviously you learned NOTHING from this experience and are too stupid to understand that just because some of us are doctors/lawyers/businessmen/teachers/professors doesn’t mean we don’t have a right to anonymously attach our names to any idiotic comment we decide to leave on the net for shits and giggles.
    What, so you’re saying that if we don’t want to attach our names to an online comment that we just shouldn’t make this comment period? FUCK YOU THEN. It’s my fucking right, same as it’s your fucking right to post videos of yourself wearing tutus. Get your head out of your ass and wake up already. I know for a fact you send anonymous e-mails, comments and tips to people all the time, so quit throwing those stones at glass houses there with your faux martyr theatrics.

    Oh, and those freaks who are supposedly calling/e-mailing your places of business and whatnot? Don’t automatically blame us. It’s probably some of your insane fans just trying to get your attention. Or one of your many ex’es getting some karmic-action on your ass.

    End rant. Her complete lack of self-awareness and the fact that she posted such an idiotic victim rant is beyond annoying. Hence my retaliation rant.

    • Bouncing Little Burro says:

      I want to marry this comment. I’m calling the courthouse right now to arrange for a wedding this afternoon. So perfect – hits all the right points.

    • Bouncing Little Burro says:

      And I vote to put this rant in its own post so it’ll be up whenever she’ll be presenting.

      • Andy Whorehol says:

        Thanks, buddy. She just rubs my nads the wrong way when she does the whole “BOO-HOO, why do you HATE ME?” bullshit. She needs to shut her cupcake hole already and thank her lucky stars that she fell out of the right vagina. Some of us can barely pay our bills and make ends meet and this fruitcake is living free, jetting around the country on a constant vacation while whining about people making fun of her online? Good God, talk about the need to get some fucking perspective already. Internet bullying is a current issue amongst tweens/teens for a reason; most of us outgrow that whole victimization bullshit after age 16. This is a 30-year-old woman. It’s just embarrassing that she even bothers to still address us anymore. But of course she is; someone needs a last-minute excuse of a topic to get up and be a “speaker” at SXSW!

        • Helena (Genuinely Curious) says:

          I agree with BLB, great comments that should be deservedly recognized, Andy!

    • Donksers says:

      Great post, Andy Whorehol! Are you reading this, Donkey?

  24. Emily Gould's Trusty Google Alert says:

    “Various research teams have conducted a simple study. They hire a woman to go up to college men and ask them to sleep with her. More than half the men say yes. Then they have a man approach college women with the same offer. Virtually zero per cent say yes.”

    I am so sick of seeing this study quoted as the definitive answer to whether women want to have casual sex. Some stranger approaching you in the middle of the day asking for sex = serial killer. Someone you know from your social group, or a stranger in a bar, propositioning sex would be seen as less dangerous and response rates would probably be higher than 0%.

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