Randi. Randi. Randi. OMG. Randi. Randi. Randi.

 

Randi interviewing Conan!!

I feel I should post something since her I AM A VICTIM panel is not happening til Tuesday, and not Friday, as she originally informed us. So she’s spending her time away from Planet Jack And I to kiss Randi’s pregnant ass. That’s all she’s posted/Tweeted about. Randi. Randi. OMG AWESOME Randi. Mark’s sister!! Randi. Randi. Randi.

Have at it, Type-A haters. Her Randi Worship weirds me the fuck out. Such close friends, but Donk can’t recommend White Strips? And Randi can’t tell her when she needs to shut the fuck up? That’s not friendship.

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204 Responses to Randi. Randi. Randi. OMG. Randi. Randi. Randi.

  1. Dr. Gary says:

    God. SERIOUSLY.

    Calm the fuck down, Julie. Your blatant ass-kissing is gross. Is Randi super insecure, so she enjoys all the compliments and ego stroking? Or, does she see Julie as ‘special’, as some have hinted at, so she has more patience for her idiotic behavior?

    I watched the Conan clip. It was pretty good. Randi has definitely improved as an interviewer. She seemed confident, asked good questions, let him answer, i.e. didn’t talk over him or cut him off (gives Julie some serious side eye).

    But I swear to God, you could hear Julie braying in the background. It was really distracting. Fucking NPD attention whore.

    You just know Julie is begging/pleading/groveling for a chance to do live FB interviews. But Randi, for the sake of all that is holy: YOU CAN NEVER THE DONKEY. Do NOT give this girl a job. You will regret it.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      Also: First!!!111!!11

      #Iam12

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      “You can never the donkey.” That is my new favorite meme.

    • HipsterLawyerGrifter says:

      Excuse my ignorance, but where does the “never the Donkey” meme originate from?

      • Mini Driver says:

        An esteemed commenter, under the influence of sleeplessness, distraction, fury, drank, or possibly two or more of the above, attempted to write “I will never understand the donkey,” but left out a crucial word. Like Pancakes with a Side of Pancakes, it has entered the RBD lexicon.

        • HipsterLawyerGrifter says:

          Fantastic. Thank you, Mini Driver. I liked the phrase but didn’t know how to use it before.

          [img]http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a122/babyborg/Miscellaneous%20pics/themoreyouknow.gif[/img]

          • LEFOOLIEH says:

            First, DG, I love your ass (obvi you know this… wait, that sounded wrong but I think it works either way). Awesome comment, two thumbs up, would read again. Then, HLG you just had to roll with that gif and well. I’m lulzing heavily and I haven’t even finished the fuhriggin thread.

            MARK IT ZERO.

        • rld says:

          That was me! And yes I was under all of those influences. So. Proud.

        • t'ots mcakez is tots mind baughling at the "Lovesong of J. Alpelt Thrufroque" says:

          I accidentally the whole donkey!

        • Pancakes with a side of Pancakes with a side of of cray cray says:

          you rang?

    • Axis II, Cluster B says:

      You rang?

    • t'ots mcakez is tots mind baughling at the "Lovesong of J. Alpelt Thrufroque" says:

      [img]http://cheezburger.com/brian-s-/lolz/View/2048388864[/img]

      • t'ots mcakez is tots mind baughling at the "Lovesong of J. Alpelt Thrufroque" says:

        Well, that worked not at all.

  2. eight dollar grapefruit says:

    2nd!!!1

    It’s so sad. Painful to watch.

    I’m going to get drinked out now. Have fun tonight all you catpeople!!!1

  3. Dancing With Myself says:

    “Jack!”
    “Randi!”
    “Jack!”
    “Randi!”

    [cue Julia standing on the bow of the Titanic, Heart of the Ocean cupped in her hand]

  4. New Year New You says:

    WHERE. IS. LILY????!!!!

    Lily can you call us please, worried about you.

  5. Dr. Gary says:

    So you guys remember this tweet from TheTrueJA?

    “So apparently if I go to SXSW, I am going to be blacklisted by powerful people whose employees I harassed. Um, errr, ooops? Daddy!!!”

    Anyone have any info on this? Come on bitches. Spill it!

    • Donkey of Perdition says:

      I am sure she will latch on to Randi and use her to bodyblock any attempted shunning.

      Which brings another question to mind, isn’t her relationship with Randi a huge conflict of interest with Social Studies? Shouldn’t she divulge that relationship to her readers whenever she writes about Facebook? It’s intellectually dishonest to rave about FB but simultaneously spending weekends in Aspen with the founder’s sister celebrating their joint birthdays.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I heard that someone who was harassed by her has a lot of clients at SXSW. And her the clients know of the harassment. And they were not above putting her on blacklists to keep her out of their events.

      • Cankles says:

        She has been blocked from events so they made good on their threats. She could not get into major events last night that even her supposed agent George Ruiz was at.

      • Sara O. says:

        Oh my. Desperate times will ramp up the cray. Jack will have a stage 50 clinger on his hands after this with the column fail and now blacklisted from the only “friends” she had left. Running out of bridges huh Donkey?

  6. Donkey of Perdition says:

    OT
    # In modern Greek usage, the neuter form of the term “donkey” (γαϊδούρι, gaidouri) is used to denote extreme rudeness or bad manners.
    # In many variants of the Portuguese language, the words “burro” and “asno” (both meaning “donkey”) are used to describe someone dumb or thick (especially someone with difficulties at learning).
    # In football, especially in the United Kingdom, a player who is considered unskilful, and to rely overly on his physical attributes to cover up his technical shortcomings, is often dubbed a “donkey.”
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donkey#Religion_and_myth

    This thread http://rebloggingdonk.com/2011/03/10/on-the-eve-of-another-i-am-a-victim-boohoo-fest-a-donkey-reality-check/#comment-188387 is a better fit here.

    • eight dollar grapefruit says:

      the greek word for julia allison is skrofa or perhaps gourouni

      maybe diavolisa too

    • Mini Driver says:

      If I were to create a second sockpuppet to leave Disqus comments on Donk’s Tumblr, I’d use the name “Jenny.”

      jenny |ˈjenē|
      noun ( pl. -nies)
      1 a female donkey or ass.

      My current sock left a comment here:

      http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/3690914564

      “I took the above photo with my new Canon EOS Rebel T2i (which Canon sent me for my birthday, thank you Canon!) – and I am IN LOVE WITH IT!!! After years of grainy, blurry photos from point and shoots, I’m ready to take it to the next level.”

      Asking how it squares with this post:

      http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/671257773

      “How awesome is this Canon S90 camera??! It’s incapable of taking a blurry photo. I’m obsessed with it.”

      Donks did not approve my sock’s observation. 🙁

  7. New Year New You says:

    OMG RANDI! OMG TARYN! OMG AUBREY! OMG AGENT’S UGLY BABY!
    OMG JACK! OMG JACK! OMG JACK! OMG JACK! OMG JACK! OMG JACK!
    OMG CINDY! OMG MEGHAN!
    OMG PINK! OMG PINK! OMG PINK! OMG PINK!
    OMG RICH! OMG PRETTY! OMG RICH! OMG PRETTY!
    OMG GLUTEN! OMG BULLSHIT JUST ATE ANOTHER CAKE!
    OMG GETTING ON A PLANE! OMG LOOK ANOTHER PHOTO OF ME!
    OMG ILLITERATE INTERNATIONAL SYNDICATED COLUMNIST!
    OMG MANIA!

    O.M.FUCKING.GOD. TAKE YOUR MEDICATION!

  8. Barking Mad says:

    I think nobody but Randi is tolerating her. This is how she started out, calling in all her buddies.

    juliaallison: Looking forward to seeing my agent @GeorgeRuiz & my girls @Aubs, @ShiraLazar, @RandiZuckerberg, @Caro, @SorayaDarabi & @RachelSklar #SXSW
    1 day ago

    This is how she ended up, with some “whoever” people that weren’t worthy of a blog post, while Ruiz went to some great-sounding dinner/party.

    juliaallison: 🙂 RT @glenda: Casing the Hilton lobby on a break is always so great. Building w @mager & @juliaallison was cool. Thanks guys! Re-inspired!
    about 20 hours ago

    This informative tweet from a catlady.

    margiecakes: A little bird told me that at #sxsw, @juliaallison got cold-shouldered by her agent and friends. Dis-missed. #wearelegion #catladiezunited
    about 21 hours ago

    Since then she’s just been desperately tweeting about her “panel” and OMGRandi. I wonder what tomorrow will bring?

  9. Aggressively Stupid says:

    OT, but can I just say that I’m so over Conan? So, NBC broke your contract. (And don’t give me that “Jay Leno stole my job”. Jay was fired by NBC twice in less than a year; he was clearly not calling the shots.) You’re still a millionaire with no women and/or minorities on your writing staff. Cry me a fucking river.
    /rant

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      He compared himself to Anne Frank the other day. I’m over him.

      • Dr. Gary says:

        Conan did? That’s lame.

      • wonkeye says:

        Eww. Really? And yeah, if I was fired from a job and got bazillions as pay-off, I’d have my the pool cat on standby by the margarita machine and spend my days buying shit off sky mall.* But the need for fame is apparently as addictive as the crack.

        *I’d probably really only buy one or two things off Sky Mall and I’d give a bunch of my dough away, but I’d have fun.

        • HipsterLawyerGrifter says:

          I want that wall-sized crossword puzzle. That is what I will do when I retire at age 30 with my billions.

          • wonkeye says:

            With your fuck-you money, you mean.

          • HipsterLawyerGrifter says:

            Yes. I only have 7 years to do this, so it’s a good thing I already have a tumblr of my own. I just have to add horizontal scrolling, and someone will buy my website. It’s an interesting new social platform that exhibits the life of a young entrepreneur: fresh out of college, working ‘interesting’ part-time jobs, living with her parents until she can afford an apartment.

            I have that ‘entrepreneurial spirit.’ You will get to know me and I will become your internet friend because you trust my long- and short-form content. You will heed my food and clothing recommendations.

  10. New Year New You says:

    “I wuv my friend Randi, she makes me look so thin and pretty.”[img]http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lf6ldyVfa81qbnwamo1_400.jpg[/img]

    • Can-Swiss says:

      Only with Randi the skin is white and the teeth are orange.

    • AllDayBray says:

      That’s really all it is. That and she’s Facebook’s sister.

      Though as I’ve said before, even standing next to an ugly, pregnant hook-nosed fatass with yellow teeth…Julia is still the LESS ATTRACTIVE of the two by leaps and bounds.

      You can’t hide inner ugly…even by spackling on the makeup.

  11. Sacred Scrapbooks says:

    Randi, Randi, Randi! Shine your light on me!

  12. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u78_vJgn3xY&feature=related

    I think this comment says it all:

    “This is severely awkward”

    • flotsam says:

      “Julia’s rough opening” sounds like a continuation of the skin tag meme.

    • JustaDude says:

      Not “it all”. Did she say something like “…other fascinating people…?” I will not replay that horrible video to find out, but for the love of f*ck, WHO thought those wretched people are endearing, interesting or worth recording. They even fail at boring. In a lot of ways, the Internet is just a very big street corner. And these nutjobs are just screaming at cars, waiting for a honk. Okay, back to my Old Fashioned now. Cheers.

  13. So. Blessed. says:

    “Hey Randi, Randi, Randi, can’t you see? Sometimes your interviews anesthetize me.”

  14. M says:

    from her latest TMS column:

    “Galliano was one of those people, and the reverberations of his epithets–in the middle of the spring shows in Paris, no less–are palpable.”

    wordy much?? does anyone edit these columns?

    • Blinky, Fat, Flapping Fuck - You Shitheads! says:

      That reads like she swallowed a thesaurus and started spewing random words that sound smart.

      Gluten-free thesaurus, of course.

      • Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology says:

        a condition more commonly known as ‘SAT Word Tourette Syndrome’.

    • Effing Ineffably Un-Effable says:

      I wouldn’t worry too much – I had palpable reverberations but it cleared up in about 10 days after a cycle of cipro.

    • Mini Driver says:

      Nothing says Paris in the springtime like palpable, reverberating epithets.

    • Effing Ineffably Un-Effable says:

      Looking at this for another minute or five and just baughling… I really think she should be nominated for a nonfiction Bulwer-Lytton award.

    • cupcake cray cray says:

      I’m going to admit that I haven’t read anything on galliano’s racist slurs, beyond the few blurbs I’ve seen when I’m checking email. so as someone who has basically been living under a rock about this, I am really, really confused by what she wrote. is she saying he was in the middle of one of his fashion shows when he started his anti-semitic rants? because I thought he was in a restaurant, or something like that.

      • Aggressively Stupid says:

        It was outside a restaurant. The video was actually from before last fashion week.
        Basically, Donkey’s “research” involved skimming Twitter with stellar results as usual.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      I think she just admitted in an interview (link posted here yesterday?) that Momsers is, once again, editing her columns.

      So: #momsersfail and #juliefail

      • Effing Ineffably Un-Effable says:

        Momsers needs to hit some remedial English courses as well, then.

      • Jacy says:

        My jaw dropped when I saw a 30-year-old woman confessing publicly that her Mommy edits her column. What? Are you fucking kidding me? Are you 12? Is there no self-respect.

        But in any event, Momsers is clearly sabotaging her, because those last two columns have been so, so bad, and worse than bad, factually inaccurate.

      • flotsam says:

        My guess is that Momsers isn’t actually editing them, it’s just something Julia likes to say because she thinks it makes her sound down-home and cute.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          My guess is that Momsers actually is editing them because Joolzballz is Princess Apron Strings McLazypants.

      • darling mrs. melissa sue [calm down!] says:

        Link, please!!

    • Big Hed Fraud & the Blondsters says:

      Why is she referring to him in the past tense? Maybe he killed his career, but he lives on, nonetheless.

    • JFA says:

      I CANNOT FUCKING DEAL WITH THE WAY SHE WRITES. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP. I HAVE TO HURT SOMETHING NOW.

  15. LetItExplode says:

    Kate Winslet says the word “Jack” 80 times in Titanic. I just looked it up. Julia is hoping to break that mark via twitter in one week.

    PS Donkey: Maybe if you made your agent some money he’d buy you dinner. But that would require, you know, work beyond uploading pictures to Facebook and tit-thrusting,

    • Princess WideStance says:

      Bwaahahaaa! These keep being amazing.

    • Blinky, Fat, Flapping Fuck - You Shitheads! says:

      Her parents must have been SO PROUD that their darling donkey posed in her underwear and in semi-lewd poses with an old man….and all for Gawker.

    • Donkicles says:

      I will never the Donkey!

    • Mini Driver says:

      Woo Loren! Woo CUNTbunnies!

    • Bitch says:

      AMAZEBALLS! Also, her face looks so… different in that pic.

    • Double Quinceañera says:

      Brilliant.

      I can just see it…

      Julia: Oh Jack do you see how vile my haters are? They’ve done something absolutely sick, look!

      Jack: That really is sick!

      Julia: They’ve photoshopped your father into the photos, and that monster, Loren Feldman!

      Jack: I think the worst of it is that they photoshopped your innocent face onto the body of some black lace-underweared internet whore!

      Julia: Um…er…oops… no baby, that is really me. Don’t I look pretty and tiny and cute?

      Jack: I know it’s your face– though you look ineffably different somehow– but (laughs) obviously, you never posed in see-through lace panties on some guy’s lap for all the internet to see!

      Julia: Oh…but…I did. But it was for Gawker so yay.com! It was art. Edgy. Funny HAHAHAHAH

      Jack: Excuse me?

      Julia: Yeah the people at Gawker are my friends. We collaborated on this artsy photo shoot. Ironic! HAHAH Art! Like the Ball Gowns and Bling photoshoot! HAHAH!!! “)

      Jack: The irony being…?

      Julia: It’s like ra-ai-ain on your wedding day, you know, irony HAHA!

      Jack: Are you telling me that you really did pose in your underwear on an old man’s lap for Gawker?

      Julia: Speaking of weddings, let’s get married on the white house lawn with origami doves made of hundred dollar bills shot out of cannons HAHA!!

      Jack: …

      Julia: Care Bear Stare! HAHAHA!

      Jack: …

      • So. Blessed. says:

        For serious, what Face.Oh was that.

        • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

          *For serious, what Face. Oh was that.* Is my new favorite Ezra Pound poem.

      • Mini Driver says:

        Julia: Speaking of weddings, let’s get married on the white house lawn with origami doves made of hundred dollar bills shot out of cannons HAHA!!

        My first real laugh of a lousy weekend. Thanks oodles, Double Quinceañera!

    • Donkey of Perdition says:

      [img]http://www.jankytshirts.com/images/uploads/DONKEY%20PUNCH%20CHAMPION.gif[/img]

    • Faceboom Live says:

      Why does it looks like she has 6 fingers in this pic? Is that part of the original photo, or a result of photoshop editing? Either way, made me lol.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      Loren! Señor Yack Sr!

      I love all of your work. However, might have to vote this one my #1 favorite. Until your next masterpiece, of course.

    • Loren Feldman says:

      OMG. Wow. I’ve hit the big time.

    • wonkeye says:

      This is the best yet!!

    • erg says:

      you continue to impress. your editing skills are on point.

      can we create a photo gallery of all of these works of art? and include a sidebar link?

      • Mind Cancer says:

        There’s a gallery link at the top erg.

        Cuntbunnies is one of the brightest stars in the rebloggingdonk firmament.

  16. Princess WideStance says:

    “You can only brand stagnant things.” – @AplusK, explaining on @FaceboomLive why he feels “people as brands” is inherently flawed. #SXSW 12 minutes ago via Echofon

    Hahaha. Well, Julia, you have definitely tried to brand yourself. But you are the most stagnant motherfucker on the face of the planet, so why didn’t it work??

  17. Lonnie Lemon says:

    So, honest question. Why are we so down on Donks for kissing Randi’s ass, when it seems like commenters around here do that all the time? Is Randi Zuckerberg some great humanitarian or something? I realize that she comes off well next to Donks, but I don’t get all this , “Aw, Randi’s shy about her looks, she seems so nice” when you don’t even fucking know her. At all.

    And even if you did, which I doubt, I don’t see how we can all criticize Julia’s operatic crazeball bids for fame and significance -that at least give us hours of entertainment- while some people around here coo over a nepostistic parasite like Randi, who only got to where she is by being the brother of that creepy kid who is selling your personal information about you, yes you, against your will, as we speak.

    “Oh poor Randi!” my ass. She’s someone who freely associates with JA, does not seem to be any sort of genius or saint or exceptional talents at all, except having that creepy brother of hers. I don’t know why people fucking coo over Randi, her pregnancy, her “relatable” body shape, whatever. Hey you know what, there’s a sustained assault on unions and a campaign to demonize schoolteachers making shit going on in this country right now, and I don’t get why Randi is somehow admirable, being a millionairess for not fucking much and not being as crazy as Donks. She’s sort of a parasite doing some stupid fucking job before her having her OMG baby. Great for her. Just fucking weird people here think she’s some sort of sweetheart on no evidence. At least Julia is out there working it energetically for what she can, Randi just got it handed to her. Not above criticism, look at her choice in friends, and yeah her teeth are terrible-looking. Why are people such annoying Randi fans around here again? What has she done for you? Or anyone? (Bla bla some bull charity, I’m sure.) Sorry, but they really are friends. Let that sink in.

    • SWNHORA* (Skiers Who've Never Heard Of Rossignol Anonymous) *pronounced 'Swine-whor-a says:

      Uh, which personality is this? Julio? Judy?

    • juliajane says:

      Huh? I don’t think anyone around here kisses Randi’s ass.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      tl;dr

      also, feel free to calm down!

    • Double Quinceañera says:

      Perhaps you could clarify by linking to Randi fandom from this site?

      I’n Genuinely Curious (TM!)

      • Dr. Gary says:

        Right? ‘Cause all I seem to remember reading re: Randi on RBNS/RBD is ‘Old Yeller’ this and ‘Old Yeller’ that. And ‘OMG. Why won’t Randi’s dad fix her teeth?’

        • Double Quinceañera says:

          I have actually cringed at times because I felt that we’ve been a bit cruel to Randi, i.e. teeth, figure, trying to hang with the popular girls, brother’s coat tails, etc….

      • Mind Cancer says:

        I don’t think he/she needs to cite anything, Randi always gets off lightly compared to Julia at the birthday bashes. There was a whole thread (written by blind people apparently) saying how “nice” she looked compared to Julia.

        • Brianna says:

          I guess for me, it’s this:

          Getting a nice job because of a family member is nothing new. Yeah, she’s Julia’s friend and works at facebook without any visible talent setting her above other applicants, nepotism bad, friends bad, singing bad.

          But that’s all very run-of-the-mill boring unfair life stuff. Randi doesn’t seem to go OUT OF HER WAY to be a vile disgusting person. She’s not much of a fame whore, seems to benignly chug along doing her job and being pregnant. She doesn’t post endlessly about these birthday things or even really plan it much, though she does go along with it. She does look boringly nice next to Julia.

          She may not be an amazing person (I mean, who knows?), but compared to Julia she certainly comes off as the better person.

    • Mind Cancer says:

      I can’t stand Randi either. Do you think she’ll sing at SXSW?

    • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

      I only kiss Randi’s ass because it tastes good.

    • flotsam says:

      I think you’re confusing “damning with faint praise” with “kissing ass.”

  18. Hoey says:

    So is that three seperate photos of Eliza Dushku without a single name drop in the caption? That’s odd.

    • Julia's Too Small Tutu says:

      She mentioned Eliza on her Twitter, something about how Eliza said something along the lines of “If people don’t like me, they should get off my Facebook” and Donk related it to her own “haters”.

  19. Six finger bride says:

    Any chance that Jack gets sent to Japan? If he is a chopper pilot i think it could happen

    • Donkey of Perdition says:

      I don’t think he will, while he got his wings he’s still gaining proficiency in the Seahawk. He was using flashcards only a few weeks ago. If he was already deployed to Guam, then maybe he would go to Japan.

  20. OT but what’s the deal on Tuesday? I feel I can’t miss a chance to irritate JA but I don’t have a “south by” (god, I hate that) pass and refuse to buy one. I usually leave town during this whole thing.

    At the very least, I supposed I could stand out front of the speaking location with a “Donkey Go Home!” sign. Probably 90% of people walking by wouldn’t get it…but it would make me feel much better.

  21. Big Hed Fraud & the Blondsters says:

    “Watching my friend Tim Ferriss speak about his NYT bestselling book, “The 4 Hour Body” – If you have already bought it, I highly recommend going on Amazon right now. It’s one of the reasons I just lost 10 lbs and a dress size.”

    Now she’s crediting Tim Ferriss where before she was crediting butt juice cleanses?

    • HipsterLawyerGrifter says:

      Eurgh, I saw that. I always feel like he radiates asshat vibes. I don’t know what he wrote about weight loss, but it’s probably nothing new, and in any case, that’s not how she lost her weight, unless he advocates chocolate binges. She just looooves to latch on, doesn’t she? Why do you think that is, though? I am genuinely curious.

      • Jordache and the Pelts says:

        I saw him on some tv newsmagazine. He advocates freezing the fat off, like walking around in shorts in the winter or taking ice baths. He is a complete asshat.

        • Donkey of Perdition says:

          I just figured out what all the “pelt” references are about. That is so freaking gross that she has a weave; I’d vomit in my mouth if I ever touched a girls hair and felt tracks running beneath it. Forgive me ignorance but I also thought you can’t wash or shampoo a weave?

          The sad part is that she use to have really nice hair, one of the pretty things about her.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            I am stunned, though not judging, to hear that you are only now learning about the pelts. I beg of you: Type “pelts” in the RBD search engine and you will have hours of enjoyment ahead of you. There have been many pelts, of various hues, and a ton of hilarious discussions about them.

            In person, apparently, they are heinous, especially the clip-in ones.

          • Donkey of Perdition says:

            I just always assumed “pelts” referred to her penchant for animal/leopard prints.

          • flotsam says:

            My favorite pelt-related memory is her endorsing the clip-in kind because if you go home with a guy, you can run quick in the bathroom, unclip them out of your hair, and stuff them in your purse before things get intimate. It’s like she thinks she’s starring in a whole new, alarmingly stomach-churning genre of romantic comedy. A vom-com, if you will.

        • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

          Whaaaaa … ?

          Does he have some alleged logic for that theory, like presumably you burn more calories shivering while trying to generate body heat?

          If that worked, there would be no fat Chihuahuas.

          • Jordache and the Pelts says:

            The correspondent and the experts they brought in were highly skeptical and he came off as an opportunistic idiot.
            His schtick is “hacking” the body. Vomit in the shower….

          • AFGHANI says:

            re: “hacking the body”

            He’s been into that since he was a sophomore in college. I remember he got my best friend from college involved in that stuff (we were a yr behind Ferris).

            Always was a reallllly weird guy. Not a nerd, just a weirdo.

        • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

          Flotsam, darling, you rang.

      • New Year New You says:

        They’re both con artists. Apparently he won his kickboxing championship like this:

        “Tim found a technicality that meant that if people went outside the ring multiple times in a fight – they would be disqualified. Using this to his advantage he proudly boasts how he literally shoved his competitors outside the ring for a technical knockout.”

        No wonder he and Julie didn’t date for long, can’t bullshit a bullshitter.

        • Fameball Wizard says:

          I don’t think they actually dated. Did you read the chapter in his book where he implies how many women he fingerbanged to attempt to perfect the female orgasm? Bet JA was just one of his guinea pigs.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I thought it was that NuLean bullshit.

    • Fashion Girl says:

      Yeah, and I’m pretty sure you need to work out to do “The Four-Hour Body”. I mean, not every day, but you have to haul your raft ass off your tuffet.

      • white coat says:

        The tagline of the diet section of 4HB is “How to Lose 20 Pounds in 30 Days Without Exercise.” I can definitely see how that would appeal to Julia.

    • Aggressively Stupid says:

      Apparently Blue Print isn’t giving media discounts anymore.

  22. darling mrs. melissa sue [calm down!] says:

    I keep reading Run Randi in the title. Not sure why.

  23. Donkey of Perdition says:

    The San Jose Mercury News picked up a new JA article. I swear I’ve seen this article before but TMS says it scheduled for release March 15, 2011.

    http://www.mercurynews.com/bay-area-living/ci_17568280?nclick_check=1
    http://media.tmsfeatures.com/documents/TMS-social-studies-sample3a.pdf

    It’s the usual tripe, chock full of 8th grade newspeak, colloquialisms and awkward encapsulated inner voice fragments.

    • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

      My Resident McCain is out putting up fence, but your analysis of JA’s prose is so economical and perfect I texted it to him. From my study window I can see him down in the field stopping to open his phone. Aaaand he just texted back, “Oh, I LIKE that.”

  24. Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

    Holy cats, look at the Barbie doll make-up kit nail polish on those hooves!
    http://instagr.am/p/COFlg/

    #Whinnying

  25. LetItExplode says:

    I am filled with rage again.

    Julia Allison: victim? Please. This is a woman who goes through life turning her nose up at work, professional, civic, and personal responsibility and accountability, and expects her jetsetting lifestyle to be funded by small-dicked beings in her immediate vicinity. Fuck her and her whining. It’s not bullying, Julia. It’s called a mirror. Wake the fuck up. That money you spent getting yourself to SXSW for no fucking reason would have been better spent going to Japanese people who have just lost everything.

    God, of all the weeks for Donkey to bray about how bad she has it. I’m so angry I can’t even see straight.

    • t'ots mcakez is tots mind baughling at the "Lovesong of J. Alpelt Thrufroque" says:

      Does ‘homewrecking’ = bullying? Someone leaked this in chat, and I love how she publicly explains how she would have blown the boyfriends of the females nominated:

      http://blog.juliaallison.com/2006/06/ooo_ooo_pick_me_pick_meeee.html

      Fucking skeeze.

      • New Year New You says:

        “I had taken a year off during college to work for my hometown Congressman as a legislative correspondent. I realize that means absolutely nothing to (most) normal people. Let me translate: I wrote lots of banal form letters to really angry constituents in which the primary objective was to pacify them without actually saying anything of substance and/or mentioning the word “Republican.””

        And she brags about this????

        • t'ots mcakez is tots mind baughling at the "Lovesong of J. Alpelt Thrufroque" says:

          Then elsewhere, leaked in the previous thread, she goes on about it as one of her accomplishments.

          “I graduated with a degree in political science from Georgetown and worked as a legislative aid on the hill.”

          Looks like typical revisionist history, mission: resume padding. In other words: typical donk.

          • AFF says:

            The job donkey described isn’t what’s usually called a Legislative Aide. Those people are college grads, sometimes MA’s/JD’s and they work on actual congressional policy. Usually they’re high-GPA grads who want a serious career in public policy/academia/politics.

            Donkey was given a slot for a high school grad that is usually worked during summer break/winter break or while one is attending college in DC. Those jobs don’t require a degree or a serious interest in politics, bc they are just doing banal things like what she mentions.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Did she misspell AIDS? Because she wasn’t a “legislative aide,” she was a goddamned intern like every other entitled rich suburbanite numbskull. As AFF says, “legislative aide” is a real job that Momsers can’t do for you via email.

          • AllDayBray says:

            This bitch is as much an expert on politics as Elton John is on the female mons.

        • New Year New You says:

          Isn’t it great, write letter to Congressman, get a donkey like Julia sending a “banal” form letter back. Yay politics.

        • AllDayBray says:

          First of all, “Legislative Correspondent” my ass. Donkey was an intern.

          Second, what a disrespectful way to describe the important work of a congressional office. I responded to plenty of constituent inquiries when I interned on Capitol Hill, and we usually tried to answer their questions and provide helpful information.

          Is there going to be a Q&A session at her DayBray session on Tuesday (when the tech part of SXSW and anyone who matters will be long gone, including most of her fake friends).

          • Dr. Gary says:

            This is the job description for a Legislative Correspondent (per Wikipedia):

            “Responsible for drafting letters in response to constituents’ comments and questions and also generally responsible for a few legislative issues. According to the Dirksen Congressional Center, most House offices have one or two, while Senators have three to five, depending on their state’s population.”

            It’s a real job, with a real salary. She did NOT have this job.

            She has also claimed to be a ‘Legislative Aide’:

            “According to the C-SPAN congressional glossary, a legislative assistant “is the staff person who advises a member of Congress on legislative issues.” This person’s job description however, indicates that there are additional functions to perform.”

            http://www.ehow.com/facts_5885628_job-description-legislative-aide.html

            She MOST DEFINITELY was NOT a Legislative Aide.

            As much as she doesn’t want to admit it, girl was a friggin’ intern. GOD. Stop lying, you dipshit. This is shit that people can check on the internet.

            I bet if I looked hard enough, I could even find the name of the person who held the position of Legislative Correspondent or Legislative Aide in 2001.

  26. Donkey of Perdition says:

    @juliaallison Julia Allison
    A powerful argument for why kids shouldn’t be allowed to drive. Or make music videos: http://bit.ly/gE95zI

    48 hours before your Learning Annex B shitshow and you can’t help yourself from bullying some teenager. Will you ever learn JabberDonkey?

    p.s. I don’t know why but I kinda like this song.

  27. Albie Quirky says:

    The “Sister Strategy” makes me laugh so hard. It’s like the Underpants Gnomes.

  28. Dr. Gary says:

    OT: Looks like Dad$er’s ‘close relationship’ with Mark Kirk has finally paid off:

    “U.S. Senator Mark Kirk has formed a bipartisan, statewide Judicial Review Commission to recommend Federal District Court Judges for Illinois…

    Senator Kirk’s screening committee includes 14 members, and will be chaired by Peter Baugher of Schopf & Weiss LLP.”

    http://kirk.senate.gov/record.cfm?id=331335

    And there is also this:

    “Martin says Kirk should do the right thing and come out of the closet now that he has been sworn in.

    Martin says that the conflicts arising out of Kirk’s closeted gay lifestyle will be a continuing and constant problem over the next six years.”

    http://tinyurl.com/4ou5xwd

    I’m just sayin’.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      Also, there’s this:

      [img]http://i56.tinypic.com/jim07q.jpg[/img]

      “Law & Order, Young Leader-Style”

      http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=10150108144346716

      • Donksers says:

        Ew, just look at Peter Baugher…he’s so creepy. And Robin’s a friggin’ loon. The way she was dressed in that Christmas video with her cutesy Christmas accessories made me want to vom.

        • Flying Donkeycopter says:

          Agreed. He is totally creepy looking and has a definite Ew factor. So gross!

          • AllDayBray says:

            Just like his daughter…something is just…OFF.

          • wonkeye says:

            Total creeper. Also, if I asked my dad to pick up a bunch of thongs from Victoria’s Secret and tote them to my dorm room he would not only refuse, he would hang up on me and have my mother call back to yell at me. These people have no sense of boundaries. Witness her mom editing her sex column. I hate to be all schoolmarm, but gross. I practice DADT regarding my sex life w/my family members and it has served us well.

      • Donkey of Perdition says:

        The Committee means absolutely nothing and is just an exercise in donor masturbation. This is Obama’s home state and more importantly his home federal judicial district; Dick Durbin (the D-Senator from Illinois) has his own Committee and they’ll choose the appointments between themselves.

      • Dr. Gary says:

        Seriously. They look like an old married couple who run a bed + breakfast in Palm Springs.

      • tonyamichaela says:

        Has Dadsers had botox? Isn’t he in his sixties? Both of her parents have aged well, so Julia can’t blame genes for her premature aging.

    • Donksers says:

      Downtown condo.

    • New Year New You says:

      Are you allowed to appoint your friends to committees? Do ethics feature anywhere in the Baugher universe?

      • Aggressively Stupid says:

        Yes, it’s pretty much the only reason politicians are nice to each other and no, probably not.

    • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

      Appointing a close family friend (who your daughter interned for & whose wedding she was in) sounds at the very least like a major conflict of interest to me – I wonder how fair & impartial the voters of Illinois are going to think this orchestrated cluster fuck is.

      • Effing Ineffably Un-Effable says:

        Transparency and legitimacy in Illinois politics have always been the punchline to the joke, never the premise for reality.

    • Donkey of Perdition says:

      One of my good friends was very active in the Chicago Democratic political scene and a member of the GLBT community, he always told me that Kirk’s sexuality was an open secret among its members. Many people believe that’s how they forced his hand on DADT, threatening to out him. After the vote, McCain bitched Kirk out on the Senate floor (I wonder if he was aware of Kirk’s secret). I also always wondered if Kirk’s bromances extended into his donor circle.

      Kirk is biggest piece of shit in the world. He fooled the 10th district for years, claiming to be a moderate but kowtowed to the Republican line the entire time. He was a warmonger, lied about his military record and was caught resume padding. He only won his Senate seat because of how dirty Gianoulis was (mob banker).

      • AFGHANI says:

        This. All of this. I’ve said the same stuff myself numerous times before, thank you for doing it for me this time 😉

        Giannoulias really was a piece of this–What were Dems thinking with Burris and then Giannoulias???

      • featherbrained says:

        Yes. As a former temporary Chicagoan, I’ve heard the same. It’s also why his wife left him.

  29. Mini Driver says:

    Here’s what troubles me about Julie’s claim on cyberbully victimhood: the act of bullying necessitates an imbalance of power that favors the bully. A sixth-grader can bully a first-grader, but not the other way around. A subordinate cannot bully a CEO. A general cannot be bullied by a soldier.

    How, then, can Ms. Wired Cover Girl, Ms. International Column in More Than 100+ Papers, Ms. Nine Hundred Television Appearances, possibly state with a straight face that she is being “bullied” by anonymous, basement-dwelling cat ladies? What power can we possibly wield over her? What real consequence does our distaste for her bring about in her life? Isn’t she the one with a high-powered attorney on speed-dial (who works for her gratis)? Isn’t she the one with the media access to tell her side of the story?

    • Bunburying says:

      Furthermore, she frequently brushes off her haters by saying, “No one is forcing you to read here.” Well, Julie, no one is forcing you to read here, either.

      You’re a hater, and you’re not welcome here. Maybe you should get a new hobby, like archery or business school.

      Remember when you tweeted this? “If you don’t like me, get off my page!” – Eliza Dushku on @FacebookLive re: online haters #SXSW

      Same rules apply here. Also, I BAN YOU FROM READING HERE. YOU ARE BANNED.

  30. Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

    OT: Finally spotted the cat in this one: http://rebloggingdonk.com/gallery/donkeylapdance/

  31. Shamoolia says:

    Eeeek. Who invited this crazy old lady to SXSW?

    http://twitpic.com/4973hl

    • Donkey Tonk Badonkadonk says:

      She always looks into the camera, never at the person. So freaking staged and unnatural, just like everything else about her.

      I wonder how long she hovers that garish, puckered asshole she thinks is a sexy kissy-face next to someone’s cheek, before the random schmuck she corralled into being a paparazzo stops fiddling with the camera finally clicks the button? Probably just long enough for the person she’s ‘kissing’ to realize that Julia Allison is a complete tool.

  32. Ineffably Adverbial says:

    OT but I made the mistake of reading comments on a CNN article about Japan. The racism was horrifying. I’ve gotta remember never to read comments on the internet unless I’m here or GOMI.

    Thanks to the catladies & gents for being funny, smart, civil, and compassionate.

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