As She Launches Another “I Am A Victim” Boohoo-fest, A Donkey Reality Check

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If Donk even shows up at SXSW, and I am beginning to doubt it, she’s going to pull out the violins at her little session and weep about “online bullying” and how she has been a terrible, innocent victim of this dreadful plague and she intends to devote her life to stamping it out.

Here’s what she won’t mention.

The BoltBus girl.

Remember her? That bitch who had the gall not to obey Donkey’s orders and stop talking on her cellphone on a bus ride from D.C. to New York two years ago? And for that disobedience, Donkey posted the woman’s photo on her blog, called her an asshole, a wench, and said she wanted to physically assault her.

Just another example of how nice Princess Pelts is. Everyone knows it! We’d know it too if we’d only get to know her! She is awesome, beautiful, smart and sexy! What, you don’t think so? THEN YOU ARE A BULLY.

Other things Donk will fail to mention:

— The time she Tweeted about Rosie O’Donnell’s fight with her wife. Gossip doesn’t interest her, bunnies! Except when it does! (p.s. Thanks, commenters, for reminding me about this one).

— That she made sure her “haters” were told the real names of the code-named dumbasses who banged her, then dumped her when the crazy emerged.

— The time she publicly threatened to kick the ass of a New York Post reporter who called it a “con” that Eater Guy had once dated her.

— The time she shit all over a Google party on her blog. If you can’t say anything nice online, bunnies, step away from your laptops! Unless, of course, you’re Julie Albertson and you’ve attended a shitty party!

— The fact that she has relentlessly solicited Twitter and Facebook friends and followers, and directed them to her “lifecast,” for years. Positive feedback only, bunnies!

— That she has Tweeted 8,000 times in less than three years, including intimate details of her personal life while frequently invading the privacy of the poor fools stupid enough to spend time with her.

— That she has amassed hundreds of Facebook fans and friends, and frequently regales them with stomach-churning “look at me, I’m hot” photos from her latest pointless fauxto shoot.

— That instead of ignoring the relatively small crowd of Tumblr users and Facebook friends and various other associates who have had to deal with her lunacies in real life and have gathered at Reblogging Nonsociety and now, Reblogging Donk, she has been consumed with destroying them. So consumed that she arranged for at least four people to be personally contacted and threatened (if she didn’t do it herself). One was even called at work by someone claiming to be “Jack McCain’s lawyer.” Another is someone she has accused of being behind RBNS, and he wasn’t, isn’t, and never has been. But she’s anti-bullying, y’all!

— That she pretended an ex’s e-mail “wasn’t working,” and so sent his bride-to-be a cunty little message alleging that years ago, he banged a Donkey while he was also banging her. To add insult to injury, she recently defended that act of Monstrous Cuntitude by saying the fiancee had a right to know she was marrying a cheat. OK then. Does Pancakes have a right to know that he’s involved with a chronic one, according to Donk’s own online confessions over the years? Wait, I’d better stop right there! I AM BULLYING!

— That she endlessly uses her blog to settle personal scores. Like when she called Mary a cranky bitch and published their e-mail exchange without Mary’s permission. And when she also trash-talked Mary for “pulling a dress” that was not pink and did not showcase Donkey’s tits for a TMI Weakly segment. And when she started to spread the rumor, via anonymous e-mails to various interested parties, that Mary, her “sister,” was an alcoholic. So! Nice!

— That she publicly cuckolded Prom King more than once. Weeks before they broke up and she went right off her nut, she posted that she didn’t love him. She also suggested, while “practically living with PK,” that she was still hung up on REDACTED2 when she posted this bullshit:

What if, indeed …

So for Donkey to present herself as an innocent victim of a mob of demented loons who despise her for no reason at all is rich. Her problem is this: She’s so utterly enthralled with herself that she simply cannot fathom that the rest of the world doesn’t feel the same way. Her issue is not that she’s being bullied, it’s that she’s not being adored. Because she is dumb and demented herself, she is confusing criticism with bullying. No, Donkey. You are not the victim of online bullying. It is abhorrent for you to compare yourself to some poor gay kid who gets the shit kicked out of him every day at school.

You are the victim of your own public stage show — one you invited THOUSANDS of people to watch — and you just can’t handle it that the reviews are scathing. It’s called critical comment, dingbat, not bullying.

367 COMMENTS

    • No. She was returning from a weekend in D.C. where she brayed endlessly about Harvard Harley.

      p.s. Nitpicker.

      • just trying to keep this site accurate, in case julia would try to deny these things with legalese!

        (i thought the bolt bus thing happened on a trip to “speak” at MIT–LOL)

    • I just realized that the other day I saw a brand spankin’ new RBD post (which almost never happens since I am BestCoast and run errands in front of a classroom all day), with no comments, and didn’t even take advantage of my ‘firstness.’

      Goddammit!

      Also: I’m bored with JA. She never finds any awareness, and her comeuppance is always unsatisfactory, like, “She will lead a lonely and pathetic existence.” That is great and all, but it doesn’t matter unless she realizes it, which she never does as she always finds away to spin herself into satisfactory situations. Therefore, I am considering adding her to my Lent-list (along with no processed food, mofos!)

      • It would be great if you could keep this post at the top thru 3/15 (end of SXSW). Also, if you can, add links to your list of ‘Other things Donk will fail to mention’.

        • Yes, I will go back and add some links. Sometimes I just have to spew things out when the mood strikes me. I am bad at linking.

          • No worries!

            I would just love for her to use this site to prove what awful bullies we are, and have it backfire on her. ‘Cause as soon as anyone experiences/reads about her crazy antics, it doesn’t take long for them to convert to the Cat Side. And before you know it, they’re holed up in their parent’s basement, covered in Cheeto dust and cat hair.

          • DG — She would never dare to mention us by name, as it would incite people to seek it out. She always keeps the hat0rz under the title of ‘bully’ because it makes her look like a victim without outright defining us to the curious, who would probably realize we are right in our h80rnezz.

            This has a beautiful counterpoint in the recent post about her last SXSW visit, where she complained about ValleyWag featuring her, and drew attention to her ‘dating mistakes’ while also making them a prominent topic of convo.

            Basically, we don’t do enough for her fame/cred rating to rank a name-drop. She wants us under wraps, while also using us for anti-matter for her ‘column.’

  1. So, let me get this straight. She’s going to SXSW where she’s going to give a talk on cyberbullying. She’s inevitably going to talk about this “hater” site, and someone is inevitably going to ask what the site is. She’s out of her mind if she thinks directing people this way or piquing people’s interest in finding us cat ladies here is a good move.

    • The thing is no one pays any attention to her so I bet almost no one will even try to find us. Even if she writes a column about it, no one will read it or care. It’s kinda sad actually. She’s pathetic.

      • Her own boyfriend doesn’t even care enough to dig. sad.com.

        Also, she will never mention this site by name. The h80rz will remain a nebulous entity, implying she has much for fame than she does, when really the only people who care enough to chronical exist entirely in this site, because everyone else just ignores her or hates her in private.

    • It’s a fifteen minute talk. By the time she is finished spouting off her “credentials” to an empty room, the talk will be over.

    • Nothing wrong with being prepared.

      Personally I am dusting the nicknacks in the basement and putting out fresh cheetos for any new visitors that wander by.

  2. Epic. She is so fucking obvious. She will indeed try and set herself up as an advocate. The only problem is that she is so goddamn stupid that she will never be able to pull it off. I know most of these Social Media fucktards and as pathetically stupid as they all are they all have enough brains to hate her. Last SXSW I went to I turned on at least 100 of them to this site and they were laughing their asses off. She is a joke to them, and trust me as fucking stupid as these people are that’s saying something.

      • Thanks Jacy. I love this site. Love. I love this site. I know many hate me here but I dont give a fuck. I honestly believe this is the most important site on the web. It’s doing g-d’s work or some shit like that.

          • I’m totally calm. The site is beyond funny. It’s profound. These social media douchebags cant even begin to fathom a community like this. They all talk of it, but none of them have actually ever built one.

          • @ loren — i meant it in the julia allison way… “calm down”… “feel free to relax”… etc.

            have fun @ sxsw

          • Several AFF? I thought it was just my pure burning hatred. Actually you don’t piss me off nearly as much as you used to, but sometimes you wear thin.

          • Nobody really hates you AFF, most just find you functionally retarded and your authoritative voice is often ridiculous, so you get poked at for that reason. That said, I also think a lot of people would bone Loren sooner than they would you… BETA!

        • Loren, I’ve said exactly the same thing to Jacy in emails. This site is like an ever-shifting morality play, and it’s made up of really first-rate minds. I can’t think of another site quite like it, where thinking people are willing to expend real concentration on a single narrative, in order to fully uncover the psychological structure of a truly meretricious person. In grad school we called this “unpacking” a text — the willingness to read one text as long as it takes, and for as long as it continues revealing new information.

          • Agreed. This site is truly the only one I know of that has this vibe. The “biggest” sites in the world don’t have the community this one does. The level of intelligence and discussion is impressive.

          • You put it perfectly, Handbag. I also think that’s why I haven’t yet had the impulse to stop watching the Donk Show the way some commenters do when they hit a wall with her – I feel like this is an exceptionally nuanced, ineffably ingenious book club I drop in on a few times a day. Even when the narrative gets repetitive, the catladies and catgents always have new insight into the text.

          • exceptionally nuanced, ineffably ingenious book club

            if I could find a book club as awesome as this site, I would be so happy.

        • Loren…”calm down” and “feel free to relax” are Donkey-isms…not a shot at you. I’ve never gotten the feeling that “many” people here hate you. There are just a few who have maybe had run-ins with you in the past? I don’t really know, but I always liked your puppets, and I’m glad you post on RBD.

          • Feelin’ SO BLESSED to be a part of this community from way back in the very beginning. I’m not a frequent poster, but Loren, I like you and I agree with everything you’re saying (right now, anyway). This is an awesome, insightful, intelligent crew of regulars here.

        • I thought you hated us? I am basing this on you lumping us into the JA-appropriated jelliscatladyhat0rz category on your ‘goodbye’ post.

          I would argue that we are mostly all love, with lots of it to spare, based on the recent back-patting “we are an awesome community” post.

          Your turn about does give me a crick in the neck, though.

          • Lighten up. You have no idea about what I’ve done. Besides that’s the whole point I was making dipshit. It’s a real community, friends fight sometimes and then make up. Shit happens. Bottom line I’ve always been pro this site and way public in promoting it. I was here the day it opened and was goofing on Donks way before it even existed so fuck you.

            This.

            P.S. Donkey

          • Loren, umm, that was some very creative name calling right there. I’m wounded by your verbal onslaught.

            What in my question makes you feel that it was necessary to haul out a ‘dipshit’ and ‘fuck you’? I was asking an honest question that many people were asking to themselves (or, ya know, in chat.)

            Thanks for responding in such a level-headed and not at all reactionary way.

            Obligatory: Calm down! It’s worrisome.

        • Yeah I’ll just wait over here til the wind changes and you’re back to hating the shit out of us and calling us losers.

          • I feels you SS, but Loren is probably as changeable as all of us can be. Many of us sometimes feel bad for the Donk, Loren gets a little angsty and has a love/hate because we stole his thunder. It’s all good.

  3. it’s startling how mentally unstable she is.. this sort of behaviour should be been nipped at the bud when she was a child. now she’s an over-grown brat. plain and simple. i would not expect this behaviour from a 16 year old, let alone someone who is 30.

    • This! What were her parents doing when they were supposed to be raising her? I know you can’t always blame it on the parents, but hers do seem to be exceptionally enabling.

      • While I would love to blame her parents (it’s clear they enable her) I do think that sociopaths are born, not raised.

        • They’ve enabled and even encouraged her, instead of trying to get her the help she so desperately needs.

      • I’m starting to think Julie was one of those “I give up, let’s focus on the next one” children. That would explain why she is a hairball of neuroses and her brother is relatively normal. Her parents bailed on her after she threw that first unauthorized birthcray bash for herself. Nobody loves you Julia, not even your own parents. Too bad you don’t have a cohesive emotional framework in which that fact would devastate you.

  4. also:
    – macbook air incident
    – redacted & julia: a blog
    – easter kinder-whore
    – gawker photoshoots: halloween & brooke parkhurst colab.
    – I WAS INSIDE tweet
    – everything she ever does ever

  5. she missed her calling (OMG#expiry!) of being on My Super Sweet Sixteen

    I wonder if she has ever taken constructive criticism. [NO NEED TO ANSWER! STOP BULLYING! I’M DATING SOMEONE RICH & FAMOUS AND UR NOT!]

  6. – Tweeted about her ex-neighbor Rosie O’Donnell fighting with her wife. They were arguing in their own apartment…. and their neighbor, who thinks people should give positive feedback only, told the internet.

    -Blogged and tweeted nastily about how terrible Jan Spindel’s singles cruise was, then *allegedly* repeatedly texted an eligible man she met at that very event.

    – ” is bipolar.” She invited haters to ask questions and confront her/get to know her one day in Gawker comments and when some said they started disliking her during her relationship with , she threw a tantrum, telling the masses he had been diagnosed with a mental illness that he refused to medicate. She did this in a bid to win sympathy. Um…er…oops.

  7. OT but BTW http://enterprisecometh.com/andy-warhols-web-2-0

    The author was then sent this.

    Will, I hate to say this but – you are absolutely 100% wrong. I’m not “the punching bag” of Gawker and I certainly don’t IN ANY WAY “love it.” I’m an internationally syndicated tech & social media columnist – I’m a journalist who has done over 900 television appearances and published over 180 articles in newspapers and magazines around the world. I graduated with a degree in political science from Georgetown and worked as a legislative aid on the hill. I have spoken at MIT, Wharton & Harvard. I am in NO WAY amused by those who are cruel to me on the Internet. To even MENTION the disgusting troll that is Loren Feldman in my bio makes me ill.

    Please rethink your inaccurate conclusions. Thank you.

      • yeah. I just posted “internationally syndicated tech & social media columnist ” classic shit huh?

    • OMG Loren that is fucking hilarious. “I’m not random!!!! Internationally syndicated social media columnist!!!!”

    • Rex Sorgatz on Julia, 2008:

      “The Jedi Knight of the oversharing craft is Julia Allison. A small part of her genius is looking famous without being famous (a touchstone of microfame) by constantly telling her audience what she might be doing at any given moment. If you can admit to perusing her Tumblr or Twitter, you’ll see round-the-clock social updates and photos documenting her diurnal travails.

      “Allison is a master of a genre I’ll call fauxparazzi—taking photos of non-famous people staged to look famous. The gifted microfamer borrows from the paparazzo’s handbook by choreographing photos that look accidental but are actually snapped from the perfect angle and with the perfect company. Allison’s acts of assisted self-portraiture include Julia in pink taffeta on her disheveled floor, Julia en route to dining with Emily Gould, and Julia at a bachelorette party—all normal events shot with fauxparazzi flair. These photos help “prove” the existence of her stardom.”

    • LOL +infinity

      Can someone dig up that classic video of Julie running into Loren, and the moment she realizes who he is? Never gets old.

    • Also NO ONE CARES WHERE YOU WENT TO COLLEGE. Holy fuck, give it up already. “absolutely 100% wrong.” What a cunt.

      • The people who matter are smart enough to know that “I went to Georgetown” means “I was rejected by every Ivy and quasi-Ivy so I went to my State U and then pulled some strings to get into Georgetown where I got a 2.7 in Political Science… but I have no political opinions”.

        Dumb donkey.

        • Also, I don’t want to start academic snark, but trotting out your BA as a credential for why you’re not random makes you look like you have nothing going for you. Shit, I only have a BA, and it’s on my resume, but I’m not going to go around bragging that my double major and resulting BA are huge accomplishments, especially when I know that there are people with MAs going after the same jobs as I am. Everyone who went to college majored in something, after all.

          • Bring on the academic snark, please. I’m in a PhDonk program, and I find most of the people who went to OMGIvies to be insufferable.

            Nobody cares what eating club you were in. Go fuck a goat and/or donkey.

          • Pretty sure P is the only Ivy that has eating clubs. And probably only about 60% of P upperclassmen join an eating club. H has finals clubs, Y has some secret societies (e.g. Skull & Bones). The rest just have fraternities, as far as I know.

          • Yeah, true fact. I get shade about the fact that I went to Williams from some of my Ivy friends, even though my school outranked theirs when we were in college and continues to do so. Kind of over it at this point. A lot of them are so into using their college as a status marker.

          • And I guess I should disclaim that outside of my previous comment, I don’t point out the ranking of the college I went to because it’s really not a big deal to me. I graduated, I’m done.

          • Why would anyone give you crap about Williams, like, ever? Anyone who doesn’t think almost any Williams admit could get into Cornell or Brown is a moron. And anyone who went to HYP but takes swipes at Williams is some kind of small-dicked loser. Especially after you’re far enough down the road to have your own life accomplishments, why the fuck would anyone care?

        • I’ve always wondered what her GPA was. You know it sucked balls because she admitted she never handed anything in on time and if it was good she’d bray about it constantly.

          I went to an OMG IVY! And I only bring it up if someone asks, or on a goddamn job interview. It’s been years. No one cares anymore Donkey.

  8. Whenever I see her lunacy perfectly collated in one post it never fails to stop me in my tracks that this is one person. And she’s real.

  9. Whoa (whoa is me!), hold the cat phone. She started a rumor that Mary was an alcoholic? I somehow missed that incredible tidbit of info. I wonder what specifically drove her to do something like that.

    • We never posted on it but I heard from a number of tipsters that a whispering campaign started around the time of the New Year’s Resolutions fight and continued until Mary left. She seemed to want it out there that Rambo was a drunk.

    • So I haven’t paid attention to Julia much this week. Did she happen to mention the anti-bullying conference at the White House today?

  10. What about coercing people wear pink to her stupid parties or matching sweaters at xmas? Forcing others to look like douche bags has to be a form of bullying!

  11. What about the smear campaign about Jordan grifting thousands of dollars worth of stuff? Or Jakob is bipolar?

  12. Doesn’t her coming in here and revealing the identities of TK and PK pretty much blow the bully soapbox out of the water? We must not be so bad if she goes out of her way to introduce us to these people in her personal life.

  13. Not bullying, but dubbing people her “best friend” after knowing them for 5 minutes is SWF territory 🙂

  14. I guess she deleted this bizarre, vicious Tweet, expresssing her sick rage and animal instinct to “smash that phone into her face”. I would have preferred the phrase “fucking face” there, but whatever. It’s gone now, but what a terrifying reminder of what happens when a preening she-ape runs amok. I understand with this species, status must be maintained at all costs. Grooming rituals are important, like dressing Randi up for Quinceañeara. Lots of fussing about hair. As Jane Goodall advised, it’s best to keep your distance and watch with binoculars.

  15. Not that I ever respected the McCains before (even his fellow POWs dislike him) but now we have proof that they’re all so ridiculous it’s sad. Think, that grumpy old pooper scooper could have been POTUS.

  16. The Mary post is so great. “It makes me especially mad, because I just wrote you a really sweet Christmas card.”

    God, she is such a tremendous bitch. “I just wrote you a card! I’m SOO NICE!!!! How dare you!!!!” Maybe this post should point out that the two OMB BESTIES and former “business associates” of Princess Fairy Corporation never speak anymore.

    • That’s a real NPD thing. “How dare you disagree with me or not do as I told when I just did something nice for you!”

      Every kind gesture is about exacting something in return.

    • & she got around to ‘writing’ that Xmas card what, more than seven+ days after Xmas?

      #you’ll_note_a_trend_here,_TMS_editor

    • I had a roommate back in the day who did that kind of stuff. Whenever I would ask him (for the millionth time) to pitch in with clean up or something, he’d act soooo offended and say something like “I can’t believe you don’t think I pitch in… how can you say that, especially after that nice thank you card I wrote you after you gave me my birthday present!” (Meanwhile, dude never cleaned and never remembered anyon eelse’s birthdays, etc)

      NPD people are assholes. Needy, bitchy, assholes.

  17. This isn’t the theme of the post, I know, but, whatever … pull up Ramblin’s video & pause at 00:00 … W T F was going on w/ Donkey’s jowls? I’m going to guess post-op surgery swelling (evident in most all her Mar / Apr ’09 fauxtos, BTW) …

    Odd thing is, there’s no improvement in her face since. Anywhere. How fuck.

  18. Jacy, don’t forget the NY Post journalist about whom she tweeted – in a rage – that she was going to “kick her ass”.

  19. She stopped doing it (I think I don’t look at her tweets) but she used to tweet every time she got boned. Remember single tweets comprising nothing more than:

    🙂

  20. sort-of-OT, and I don’t know if anyone’s found this already, but apparently julia’s ridiculous ‘social studies social media manager’ demands of emily rose bullied her right off of nonsociety and onto her own blog.

    http://emilyrose.tumblr.com/

    (and I only found this because katrina reblogged her.)

      • and emily’s no longer following julia on twitter, or any of the other nonsociety people…though she is following the social studies twitter.

        I wonder if emily was actually the one who did julia’s bidding re: ‘jack mccain’s lawyer,’ and then julia cut her off after, to keep her hooves clean and everything happy in the land of flapjacks.

        oh emmmmmily, why don’t you come over here and talk to your friends at rbd about how you finally overcame your stockholm syndrome? I’m sure you have lots of good stories.

    • Looks like Emily’s dumped her loser, booger-eating boyfriend. She writes about her “new flame Chris” (an OMG MIT alum) and cooking pancakes (haha, Senor Yak) for him. Apparently, she’s addicted to d-bag bros and wants to stop sleeping with them but can’t.

      “He smiles. He has such a good smile. And I should feel lucky to be here, cloaked in the affection of a handsome man with so much ahead of him, despite his obvious maturity issues. After a difficult break-up in late summer and an autumn spent licking my wounds, winter should finally feel good. As New England slumbers, I should be ready and awake for love again. But I’m not. It suddenly occurs to me that I’m playing house — that I’ve been playing house for the past five years with all these men I’ve met, and never once have I gotten it right. That once again, I’m spending a Saturday morning inside someone else’s home, wearing someone else’s clothes, serving a man who isn’t capable of ever loving or serving me. Granted, the location shifts— this breakfast used to occur in well-appointed studios in Murray Hill, or the palatial gated communities in the suburbs of Cape Town, or, yes, frat houses at my old university. And I can’t even remember all the times I’ve had conversations in identical kitchens with similar men, because I’ve lost count.

      My mind churns. The pancakes sizzle. I’ve been in some version of this exact scenario since I was seventeen or eighteen, and it never changes. Chris doesn’t know it, but for me he’s just one of many men on a long rap sheet: sweet, witty, boyish, handsome, intelligent, accomplished, disengaged, selfish, alcoholic, childish, stubborn, impervious to the feelings of women. In short: a bro. So where does that leave me? Will I spend the rest of my life playing house— pretending to be an adult— without ever having an adult relationship? I understand that men like this exist because women like me love them, but I realize halfway between putting the pancakes in front of Chris and getting the syrup out of the fridge that I need to make some serious changes in my life.

      I guess admitting the problem is the first step to recovery, because Saturday night I sleep alone. Sunday morning, I vow to stop eating pancakes. They’re all fluff, anyway— all sugar and white flour, no substance, and entirely unhealthy for me.”

      http://emilyrose.tumblr.com/post/3603611785/the-broman-empress

      • Emily Rose Pancake metaphor FTW.

        OT: sorry to be Debbie Downer. But am watching coverage of the Japan 8.9 earthquake + tsunami that hit over an hour ago. So scary. Looks a lot like Indonesia 2004. Thoughts and prayers to Japan.

        • It’s so scary. I watched the news before work. Also, do we have anyone here from Hawaii? Stay safe, you guys!

      • Emily Rose has always been a self-obsessed train wreck just like Donkey. Anyone who would idolize Julia Allison with the intensity that Emily Rose does (did?) has some serious problems.

        • Putting aside her poor impersonation of Lionel Hutz, I don’t think the above writing is too too too terrible. Yeah, it’s grade school Joan Didion. But she at least has good taste in her writing idols and I think if she pushes beyond this subject matter and keeps at it she could end up as a decent writer in a while…

          • When she first came on the scene, I’d read her old blog to way back, & her writing wasn’t bad (then), but as you’d read along, it became apparent that she’d evolved into a pink tutu twit same as Julia, hence the good fit she was to the NS interndoormatship.

            I hope she gets back what she lost. No excuse for remaining as useless & willfully ignorant as Donkey.

    • I think it’s more sinister than that. I think she got Emily Rose to do some of her dirty work when RBNS got shut down. Given that we discussed with lawyers the harassment, and that it could have serious ramifications, I am guessing Emily Rose was pissed and Donk probably just washed her hands of it.

      This is pure speculation, but I am thinking there was a falling out and I am betting it had to do with all the crazy shit that went down when RBNS was shut down.

    • Also, full face of makeup, reluctance of Britt to be on camera, extra emphasis on the phrase “married lady.”

    • The way that bitch was badgering her brother with the camera was insane. And yet…nobody in that family ever tells her to STOP.

      • Maybe they have many times but she can’t exactly post a video of Britt telling her to fuck off, right?

      • I love how Lily always looks at her like, “Awwww man, would you just FUCK OFF with that stupid camera shit already?” Coincidentally, her brother has nearly that exact same look as well.

    • My God, that was painful to watch. The faux bray-laughter. The fact that Britt so obviously wants her to get out of his fucking face. Her attempts to make excuses for the fact that he wants her to get out of his fucking face. My God. That might be the most severe Cankleshausen I’ve ever felt. Put the camera away, you dumb donkey. You think the McCains will watch that and think: “What a sweet daughter of a loving family!” No, they will think: They hate this donkey. Why can’t she see that?

    • The look on Allie’s face when she tells her mom “it’s a video” (around 2:15) is SO telling. It’s so clearly a “this is the kind of shit I was telling you about” look.

      Poor Britt and Allie.

      • 1. Britt engages with JA is little as possible. He sees her as a troll that he refuses to feed and it makes enough tension to cut with a knife. He HATES his older sister’s narcissism with the fire of a thousand suns. That is so the product of having an NPD person in your family,WOW!
        2. That is so true re Allie’s look. It gave me severe Cankelhausen.
        3. Also, Momsers’ outift at 2:22? Tells me a lot about where JA got her insanity.

      • He is clearly pulling Ally away at the end, so she doesn’t have to feel she has to continue placating the Donkey’s obnoxious questions. There is literally no reason for him to be burying her face in the over as he does, other than perhaps the idea that JA drives people to suicide.

    • I can’t get over that ugly tile all over their house. It look like industrial tile that you see in restaurant kitchens. Gross.

      Also? Fucking put down the camera and help out you lazy bitch.

    • Love that Britt picks up the paper towel off the floor and nonchalantly throws it over the flapjacks. So grating how the Donkey sarcastically tells Britt he takes cooking soooo seriously as if it is a useless endeavor. What a vapid, boring entitled donkey.

      • He looked really flustered like he knew that he was messing up and couldn’t help himself. I felt so bad for him. I thought it was sweet how he put his arm around Allie as if to protect her from the cray. Allie’s family is adorable too. Everyone but JA looked so normal!

      • Honestly, it was painfully uncomfortable to watch. You could feel the disgust emanating from him. Dude knows she’s going to post intimate family moments, including those involving his wife and his mother-in-law, on the Internet no matter what anyone says. Ass. Hole.

        Did you notice too she asks people questions and that doesn’t even allow them to finish before she’s braying her fake laugh? She’s the kind of person you just want to flee from at any social gathering.

      • Hope future granny Cindy McMoneybags sees the Suzy homemaker potential in Donkey. No wonder she has allergies to every food possible…after dining out all.the.time. she has swallowed all the chemicals, msg, and all the other various crap they throw into those processed Houston veggie burgers.

      • She objects to anyone taking ANYTHING seriously. Offensive tweet on Gandalfi’s human rights abuses? Calm down, don’t take it so seriously! No helmet on blue runs? Feel free to relax! Concentrating on food preparation? OMG just relax, jeeezzzz!

    • Uhhh, did he drop that paper towel on the floor, pick it up, and then put it on top of the pancakes? C’mon Britt, you’re supposed to be the good one. Lilly is running around on that floor, and you know her paws are filthy.

      • Some brilliant* people are utterly lacking in common sense — you know the type: they can tell you why it rains, but they don’t have the sense to come in out of it.

        *Assumption, based on MIT status.

        Did the ‘$ers just flat-out dropped the ball on hygiene lessons?

    • I have chronic Canklehausen, so I am otherwise unaffected by this monstrosity.

      But I will say… I didn’t really “get” what people were meant when they said that her face was busted, I guess because I don’t usually watch the videos (tinnitus is a classic symptom of Cankehausen by Proxy, and the braying makes it unbearable). But I watched this, and you can tell that she has had SO MUCH work done, just from the quick shots of her face. Oh em gee, catladies. Why would you do that to yourself!??! She is way too young to be a Real Housewife.

  21. Lest we forget the picture of the innocent guy in the store that stoked a fire in her green lady parts so she posted it to her blergh to see if anyone could introduce her to him.

  22. Bullying [redacted]:

    “He is also aloof and self-centered and unapologetically narcissistic, which in moderation would be fine, but he pushes the boundaries towards “asshole.” ”

    “In fact, his ego is so inflexible that we once got into a huge row over … whether he would shower. He didn’t feel he needed to. Let me assure you, he did.”

    and just for giggles:

    “I’m really conscious of admitting when I’ve been sort of a shit friend or partner.”

    http://blog.juliaallison.com/2007/09/what_really_happened.html

      • Kind of her to include that all her friends and colleagues hated him, and the remarks from the gossip columnist. The funniest thing is knowing just how intensely his friends and family disliked her. But imagine if he’d blogged that? Major screeching meltdown.

      • Rough Launch, I laughed at that, too! “I was my wearing favourite frock a the time …”

    • “I never name significant others, I never talk about our relationships, and I never post photos of them.”

      LOL

      • I would encourage people to: (1) consider donating what you would have spent on entertainment this weekend, & (but!) (2) also, be sure that the entity you donate through is a trusted & reputable operation & not some fly-by-night outfit.

        Tragedies like this bring out crooks in droves. One place to look into charities is here: http://www.charitynavigator.org/

        • I agree re: crooks as charities but I hope you’re not discounting Global Giving as one of those crooks, they are reputable.

          • Nope, wasn’t discounting them, don’t even (yet) know anything about them. Simply reminding folks that exorbitant amounts of donations never make it to the people they intended to help (think: Jean Wyclef & Haiti), so maybe do a little homework in advance.

    • Very sad 🙁

      And I love how Julia’s tweet about it is stuffed with smugness about her BF and future MIL.
      Jack & I got a call from @CindyhM1 in the middle of the night about the Japan tsunami – I thought I was dreaming. Sending prayers there.
      about 1 hour ago via Echofon

      • “Jack and I” got a call. Yes, Cindy was calling Donkey to let her know about the tsunami.

        • I’m already feeling sick about how Julia is going to make this cataclysmic and devastating ongoing situation and the tremendous misfortune of others all about her.

        • She seriously can’t stop with the “Jack & I.”

          Also, how cute that a few minutes after Julia acknowledges the tragedy in Japan, she tweets that she and Cindy use the same nail product! You know she was perusing twitter, hoping to see some “I hope my son and his tiny & cute girlfriend are safe!!!!!” tweet.

      • Oh, puh-leeeeze! FlapJack later told her about a phone call she snored straight through, else she would have tweeted STAT so as to appear to have her hoof on the pulse of all global events.

        • No she got the tweet right away from JOHN S. ‘JACK’ MCCAIN JR.’s mother CINDY LOU HENSLEY MCCAIN while she was in bed with JOHN S. ‘JACK’ MCCAIN JR but she didn’t want to turn on the Ipod that JOHN S. ‘JACK’ MCCAIN JR bought her and wake JOHN S. ‘JACK’ MCCAIN JR up even more because JOHN S. ‘JACK’ MCCAIN JR needed his sleep so JOHN S. ‘JACK’ MCCAIN JR could wake up early and cuddle her the next morning before she left JOHN S. ‘JACK’ MCCAIN JR to speak at a conference. God you haters just do not understand the pressures of working as of an internationally syndicated columnist who is dating JOHN S. ‘JACK’ MCCAIN JR!

      • Her twitter is fucking nutzo right now. Jack & I. Jack & I. Jack. Jack. Jack. Jack. Missing Jack. Don’t want to leave Jack. Sleeping next to Jack. Working out with Jack.

        Lady, you are a stage 5 clinger.

      • From her blog comments –

        llimille 2 hours ago
        Awww! Jack’s your home 🙂
        Like

        juliaallison 1 hour ago in reply to allimille
        He really is …

        OMG YOU’VE BEEN DATING HIM FOR FIVE MINUTES, FREAKING PSYCHO!

        • Word. If he doesn’t bail after this, he deserves everything he’s gonna get.

          P.S. GUAM!

        • Relax! Forcing about a quick wedding takes hard work, dedication and constant exaggeration.

      • “Jack & I” hahahahahaha! Is there no end to her assholery? Have fun McCain family…she’s all yours!

  23. What about that woman in the airport that she took a picture of an made fun of her outfit?

    Allegedly stealing Jordan’s tiara?

    Telling her old Georgetown editor he’d never work in journalism again?

    • That Georgetown paper story is one of my favorites. Especially because the dude got to tell her to her face “You’re fired, get the fuck out of my office.”

    • Didn’t Psychology Today call her out for being an attention whore in some article not that long ago?

  24. I’m also pretty sure that her directly emailing with the proprietors of this site negates any bully argument she has.

  25. Waiting to see Donks thoughtful tweets on earthquake in Japan. Bet she’s really to know why, though, earthquakes occur in Japan.

  26. I am completely spun out by the number of people who think the earthquake/humor is a joke. The amount of “humor” this is generating on websites is nauseating. Even CNN was making Godzilla jokes. Unbelievable.

    • er i meant “earthquake/tsunami”

      ……and what’s making me really ill, in my small sample of international acquaintances, it’s only one nationality who are making all the jokes. Guess who?

        • LOL. See that’s some gallows humor I can get behind!

          But the people who i previously thought were cool and are currently stinking up my FB newsfeed with “blame the victim”, “it’s their own damn fault” shite seem unable to grasp the nuance.

          • Similar to the blame the victim stuff we saw here with New Orleans, this morning I’ve heard it’s their own damn fault “for building high rise towers on shaky ground” and “for building nuclear reactors on a fault line” (like we do here in CA btw). Oh and a charming mash up of Safety Dance and Godzilla live from Tsunami Beach.

            Believe me I’m flabbergasted that people I formerly thought were cool could say stuff like that. Kind of like blaming people who worked at Cantor Fitzgerald for not being able to fly. Mind bogglingly inhumane.

            I’m shocked that what this event has tapped into. I would never have suspected it.

            I remember back during the West Asian Tsunami reading commenter after commenter on Fark blaming them for not being able to swim (I know it’s my own fault for wasting my time there). I expect it from schlubs at Fark and on newspapers, but am reeling to see it from people who in every other way I thought were OK (better than OK even).

            🙁

          • No, sorry.

            I have hundreds of FB friends from a variety of countries, but mostly American. Not one person made a joke about the earthquake, and many donated to relief.

            Your experience is indicative of YOUR friends and only your messed-up friends, not the majority of the American public.

        • It’s really stands out. Of course there’s different time zones to take into consideration, but it’s been daylight nearly all over the globe since it happened and the Asians, Australiasians and Europeans on my friend list haven’t been seeing the funny side

          Of course it doesn’t discount the outpouring of concern from other Americans on my list, but I’ve lost friends over it today and I was really amazed to discover that this tendency was lurking there the whole time.

    • Seriously? I can’t turn away from the internet coverage but only in the Times and the BBC. Every new detail makes me physically sick — it’s an absolutely terrifying combination of events. Someone JOKING about it would set my hair on fire. God.

    • I managed, just barely, to resist going off on a commenter in the newspaper who was opining how he’d benefit from a tsunami if it washed away neighbor ‘Bubba’s” yard art or whatever.

        • Not until I know that my fam on the west coast is free & clear of any tsunami waves & repercussions.

      • There’s always that “Arizona Beach” thing too, half the time I expect people to say they can’t wait for California to fall into the sea. We get that ALL the time here.

    • I agree. I loathe CNN. Their coverage this morning was basically…What does this mean for Americans/America.

      • CNN has disappointed me. Their Tokyo bureau seems scant and they are relying to much on those foreign citizen journalists or whatever they are called. The feeble iphone footage of office shelves falling down and skyping with American exchange students is pointless filler. Wolf Blitzer was particularly awful tonight; he relentlessly grilled Ambassador Fujisaki as if the earthquake, tsunami, nuclar situation were his fault, asking the same questions over and over again – the ambassador thanked the United States heartedfeltly repeatedly…it was painful. I know the North is inaccessible right now but I find the America-centric “reporting” from Japan embarrassing. CNN should talk to Japanese people- hire some translators for chrissakes- all were getting is “gee, I’ve never been in an earthquake and it was big…” ive been hearing from my friends in Asia, including Japan, and they are watching the same crap CNN. CNN used to be better, and more global.
        If you have expanded cable mhz2 seems to be running NHK broadcasting in English, that’s probably a better source for news.

  27. Ugh, tweeting at Gretchen Rubin? Yale law turned Supreme Court clerk turned thoughtful writer? Cankelahusen by proxy! Stay away Gretchen! (Though, Julia could learn a thing or two about mindful living.)

    • Gretchen Rubin can be just as insufferable as JA. I got through 1/2 of her book and gave it to the local Goodwill. If she mentioned the fact that she clerked for Sandra Day O’Connor one more time I would have screamed. And apparently she thinks happiness can be attained through cleaning out one’s drawers, when it seems obvious that girlfriend could benefit from therapy. She also doesn’t make it transparent that she’s Robert Rubin’s daughter in law (ie former Secretary of the Treasury, Goldman Sachs etc) and has access to basically unlimited wealth, which also is empirically correlated with greater happiness.

      • Interesting! I’ve only read her blog, not the book, and I had no idea of her relations. I won’t begrudge her any success she’s had but that sure does make such a career shift possible.

        • She’s clearly very bright, hard working, and accomplished in her various professions. She’s just a little too “holier than thou” in her writing for me.

  28. Obama is on a news conference right now talking about Gadaffi …
    No mention of strategic maneuvers including the CareBearStare …

    • Well if during her sliding doors moment she had chosen to work for Obama on his speech writing staff, she could have written that into his speech, but alas, she went another direction in life.

  29. Seriously??? Julia, you – social media, branding, television and pseudo celebrity “expert” – still cannot figure out why Snooki is famous? You seeeriously cannot comprehend why and how she got famous?

    Or that she’s famous and you’re still a giant nobody?

    • Also Donkey – stop bullying Snooki!

      This country needs a zero tolerance policy for hatred, in ALL its forms, and that includes online hatred toward pint sized famewhores from Jersey. And I intend to work towards this goal in the future.

      Meanwhile, I ask all of you to help me do the same. At the end of the day, if you can’t say something nice about amusing reality show starlets who love pickles and call her lady parts “kooka”, get off your laptop.

  30. I know I type of lot of typos but I”m not OMG famous – Mrs. McCain don’t seem all that durn smart, yaknowwhati’msaying?

    “Jeeze.”
    “Your not part of my family.”
    “tonight me and Ben Affleck talking about”

      • speaking of drink… why is some dude sending donkey free wine? and if she doesn’t drink why does she tell him to email her?

        Jakekloberdanz: @juliaallison would love to send you some of our wine to try out. We’re just launching in New York and we heard you’re loved!

        eh, you heard wrong, dude.

  31. FYI, you stupid bitches! There is a new post beneath this one. We are keeping this post up top through SXSW.

    • Thanks, love!

      This Japan stuff is absolutely horrific. But imagine how especially stupid and whiny her complaints about her “haters” at SXSW are going to seem when the world is watching the catastrophe playing out across the Pacific.

      Poor you, Donkey. You put on a show and people didn’t like it. Life’s tough.

  32. the money shots (in case you can’t watch the whole thing): 4:33
    and
    4:41 (that one’s for you melissa sue!)

  33. May have already been mentioned, but the many threats she’s made over the years along the lines of, “I will make sure you never get a job in journalism!” Or the grapefruit incident.

    Bullying is her nature.

    • Let’s don’t forget that it was no more than a mere two months ago Donkey was imploring @astrologyzone to fire their IT guy because she was inconvenienced:

      http://twitter.com/juliaallison/statuses/21616672641130496
      @astrologyzone – seriously you need to fire him. 9:19 AM Jan 2nd via Echofon in reply to astrologyzone

      My pal @Denise_Lucky kept me company in a cafe this AM as we waited for Tom (Head of IT) to write from Austin. He wrote “a couple of hours.” 9:16 AM Jan 2nd via web Retweeted by 3 people

      Why the donkey hard-on for Tom anyway? He wouldn’t spelunker into the clam dungeon or what?

      http://twitter.com/juliaallison/statuses/29522909132
      @astrologyzone – it’s time to get professionals behind your site. You should be making serious money there & Tom ain’t cutting it tech wise. 12:38 AM Nov 3rd, 2010 via web in reply to astrologyzone

  34. Someone should print this out, make a million copies and then hand them to people as they walk in to her SXSW talk.

  35. i like that she gets dropped off at the airport an hour before her flight as per the lie-cast.
    So you are dating a McCain and feel you don’t need to allow the same amount of check in time as the rest of us.
    She’s so fucking tacky how she thinks she’s above everything.

  36. No comment

    RT @sxswparty: Check out the panel “Social media or Sado-Masochism: Cyberbullying & celeb 2.0” w @juliaallison 12:30pm on Tues in Ballroom E
    6 minutes ago via Echofon

  37. I noticed on the ‘pulling a dress’ link that the first comment was from the infamous Beth Cooper (disparaging Donkey’s tits, no less). Ah, memories.

        • Someone named “Beth Cooper” used to go on Gawker and denigrate Donkey. It later came out that Beth Cooper was Leven.

          • Ahh, okay. I knew it’d be familiar when I was reminded (wasn’t around in those days, is there a link?)

            I think I was getting confused about another ‘Beth’ — wasn’t ‘Beth’ also the name Lasagna used when she outted TK on RBNS for Donkey?

        • I can’t remember precisely but I think it had something to do with the fact that all of her other comments were going on about how stunning and talented Leven was. So they were either “Julia Allison is a crazy bitch and not hot either” or “Leven Rambin is AWESOME and is going to win an Oscar one day.” I think. Don’t quote me on this, I am going by memory. Maybe Beth Cooper was actually Mary.

          • Leven has been on CSI: Miami lately (a show where no matter how many bong hits you do, you will always figure out who the killer is before the cast does) and it’s really disconcerting how much she looks like Mary.

  38. RT @BrothersAtWar: Every time you re-tweet this, they will donate $1! RT this & support military families! Lifetime?s #Armywives

    I guess she’ll be putting a yellow ribbon on her beach bike next.

  39. I’m feeling overly protective of Austin right now! Now I know how you CHI/NY/SF/LA/SD catladies feel!

    • I am hoping fervently that she never comes to the ATL. If she does, though, there will be much rolling of eyes because nobody down here is in the habit of braying. Not to mention the fact that all the soccer moms are way hotter than her, even though they’re in their 40s.

      My condolences to everyone whose fair city she’s besmirched.

  40. (re-posting; originally put this in wrong thread)

    Just heard a blurb on Austin News Today (channel 36.1) that upcoming news segment will feature a group at SXSW who’ll explain how social media can help a child succeed.

    • Never mind, it’s not going the direction I thought it would; I thought it was going to be something that coincidentally counters Donkey’s bully BS.

  41. [Donkey] “That’s mean. I may be a lot of things, but no one will tell you I’m mean.”

    An old man in workman’s clothes taps her shoulder. “Excuse me, miss, I don’t mean to be disrespectful but your dress is open in the back.” The man walks away and Allison calls after him. “What you meant to say was ‘I mean no disrespect, but I can see your ASS.”

    “But she had her own narrative that any time we cut one of her columns or asked her to turn her copy in on time we were all conservatives trying to stifle her. One day I was proofing pages late and she was taking her dog around saying ‘my rat dog hates conservatives, my rat dog wants to pee on the pages.’ Then we got in a shouting match and she told me if I ever tried to censor one of her columns she would make sure I never get another job in journalism. At that point, I said ‘you’re fired, get the fuck out of my office.'”

    A photographer asks the statuesque Rambin to pose with a copy of Fashion Week Daily. The first camera click triggers Allison’s Pavlovian setting. Her face animates and she insists on posing too. Julia then hipchecks Rambin out of the frame’s sweet spot. She simultaneously places her right hand on her hip, tilts her head to eleven o’clock, and holds up the paper. It’s not an accidental stance.

    Their parting was amicable, but the ex-boyfriend’s patience was tested when he saw that Allison posted on her blog video of herself rapping along with the radio while she drove his $75,000 Mercedes convertible in the Hamptons. She had sweet-talked the car out of his garage without his permission.
    http://www.mediabistro.com/articles/cache/a10131.asp

    • “It’s your job to be the bridge bt what’s important & the people who don’t know it yet.” – @RachelSklar giving me column advice at #SWSX (view in twitter) 5 mins ago

      It takes an Editor-at-Sklarge to outline for Donkey what it is Donkey committed to do for TMS? Apparently so!

      • Julia Allison telling people what’s important:

        “Pink! Rich peen! Pink! Rich peen!”

        Yeah, Julie no-one’s really interested in what a dumb donkey thinks is important, that’s the problem.

    • In the video section, isn’t The Daily Allison one where Donkey discusses her pink vibrator? I’ve seen in before; not going there again, but I think I’m right.

    • Donkey could learn a lot from Randi about conducting an interview without coming off as a complete insincere, uninterested jackass. Randi’s very natural. And looks good.

      And you can hear the Donkey Bray throughout much of the Eliza D. interview.

      • Julia Allison
        “If you don’t like me, get off my page!” – Eliza Dushku on @FacebookLive re: online haters #SXSW

        I love Jabberwocky’s selective memory on this interview. She fails to mention the very first question posed by Randi to Eliza and her great response. Eliza is literally the opposite of JA and I wonder if she/her PR rep got a taste of this website before doing Randi’s show because her answer embodies our very criticism of Foolia.

        Q: Most celebrities get on social media and simply talk about themselves. How important do you think it is have a cause like you did? In reference to 30-30-30, a charity where she raised 30k on her 30th birthday on Dec. 30th for a healthcare facility in Uganda.

        A: I get sick of myself, I mean alot. There is so much of me that I can stomach. So I absolutely love to — to able spread, bring eyeballs to somewhere else, for things that are important to me and that things that became important to other people. That was so incredible about that cause; people began to feel that it was their cause, it was our cause. It spread so fast and that was more important to me than talking about my toenail polish color…umm but at the same time there are no limits. When I need to promote something that I am promoting, I can use it for that….[or when you need to post the bikini photos to get more facebook fans] exactly, or its good to post the bikini photos but then you follow up with what you really want them to see, kinda you sneak them in, you fool them, a little bait and switch.

        • Eliza is the balls. She and her brother are friends with a good friend of mine in LA.

          And when she says, “If you don’t like me, get off my page”, she means it. She doesn’t mean, “Come to my page and give me attention please please please! Tell me I’m pretty! Pink! I’m so nice it’s impossible that anyone who isn’t a jealous ugly fat hater could dislike me! I’m dating a McCain!”

    • Looks like Ashton Kutcher disagrees with the Gorgon’s (see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZY6wk-xyhBs) thoughts on branding.

      Q: One of things that I’ve been talking about lately with people is that everyone is brand these days. Do you guys agree with that statement?

      A: You have you and that’s who you are and hopefully its unique enough and changing enough that it can’t be fundamentally identified right…[oth coke doesn’t really change it is sugar and water and never changes and can be branded] I hope that people are fluid enough and always learning and open enough and always changing to such a degree that you could never say that is a brand. I feel like you can brand stagnant things [look at Madonna she has rebranded herself over and over again] I don’t think we should we brands, we should be constantly learning and changing and adapting.

      On a side note, if you watch the AK video you can hear Hamor loudly yelling and cackling the entire time, disrupting the tempo of the interview. It’s almost like SXSWi 2008 all over again, she won’t let Brandi have her moment in the sun without leaving the tracks of her thick calloused hooves all over the place.

  42. Oh God. She was in the hotel around the same time I was. (Not staying there, had to go for work.)

    GET OUT OF OUR CITY, DONKEY.

  43. I wonder where she is staying. Did she finagle a Hilton room at the last minute or something?

    We were down there today (got the new iPad at the SXSW pop-up store) and it was a madhouse. You had the hipster/nerdy SXSW-ers on the south end of Congress Avenue and then the teachers and families 10 blocks away at the north end protesting at the Capitol for Save Our Schools. (1000’s of teachers are being laid off all over the state.)

    At one point my 4yo had to go to the bathroom so my husband took him into the Driskill. I just saw Donkey tweet that she was there this afternoon too. We missed her though. I so want to spot a Donkey in the wild!

  44. No donk in the ATL!! I’ll personally make sure she learns the true meaning of southern hospitality…

    • Going to teach her what it really means when someone says, “Well, how NICE!”

  45. At her session now. Curiosity killed this cat lady. She showed up 15 minutes late. Shall report back.

  46. Fifteen minutes late to her own effing talk. Typical rude Julia Allison behavior. No one tells this spoiled brat what to do. She’ll arrive at her talk whenever she damn-well pleases!

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