Julia Allison Wants You To Drop Everything And Feed Her Rampant Narcissism For Free

What? Was the Peltmaster not available?

Desperately need a hair stylist for tomorrow’s “Ballgowns & Bling” photoshoot who can do vintage hair WELL – does anyone know someone? HELP!

Also looking for good looking guys w/ tuxes who can pop by the West Village location 12-2 to be in the shoot … Email Julia@NonSociety.com

Any hair stylist worth his/her salt should be fully booked for the day. And how can she demand that her potential pelt tussler do vintage “well,” when she in fact can’t do ANYTHING well, like show gratitude through a monetary transaction as a thank you for providing services?

Something tells me that this might be my favorite fauxtoshoot ever.

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58 Responses to Julia Allison Wants You To Drop Everything And Feed Her Rampant Narcissism For Free

  1. Dadser CQY says:

    Julia and Randy will not be in Tahoe together for Birthcray….

  2. Donkeys Have Expiration Dates says:

    Oh my. The tanlined, flabby butt to the left. It’s burning my eyes. It’s pathetic how obvious it is that Julia is so totally out of shape all the time. The idea that thin does not necessarily imply healthy and in shape must be totally foreign to Donkey.

    For someone whose only bankable skill is her sex appeal, her body is a lumpy, flabby mess (she’s so far from being toned that it’s kind of amazing) and with each passing day her face looks a year older and twice as fake as the day before.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I’m thinking her body looks pretty smoking hot in those shots, ass included.

      That was her heyday.

      • Donkeys Have Expiration Dates says:

        Maybe it’s because I’m from Pancakes’ temporary city of residence where to be considered hot you have to sport a perfect, lineless tan. Her tanlines just look odd to me.

        And I maintain that even then, she was pretty damn flabby. I doubt she was exercising even then.

        • aff says:

          pancakes lives in san diego now. i have a brother who lived there for a while, for the same reason as flapjack, actually. nice place to visit, but for various reasons i can’t imagine living there. even in carlsbad or la jolla, which i really liked.

      • Worrisome Pelts, PhDonk says:

        That ass looks rough. And her rear is dumpy, too.

      • someproblems says:

        But her face is still a problem? It’s gotten worse, but it has never been model quality and she seems to think she’s a model?

        Real tv journalists benefit from being photogenic, but i think Julie actually wants to be model/actress hot. For that, even here, she fails. For me.

      • Donksers says:

        I don’t think there’s anything wrong with her body in those pictures but the poses are ridiculous, especially the one with her butt sticking out. She’s going so hard for the sexy look, but it’s all awkward and klutzy and comical. Not sexy in the least.

      • Hugs from Denmark (IP Address: Chicago) says:

        So true re: her body, but that face has the angry, worn out look of a European porn performer, heyday or no heyday.

        • aff says:

          i love your screen name <3

          i remember reading those "comments" and i hope you'll post under this name for many months in the future, bunny!

          • CT says:

            I’ve been a lurker since 2008 and somehow missed the “Hugs from Denmark (IP Address: Chicago)” debacle. Could someone please please please explain?

          • Waited on satin, got stuck with polyester (DWR) says:

            Someone supposedly from Denmark left a fawning comment on Julia’s blog and signed it with “hugs from Denmark”, but someone tracked the IP address and it showed that the comment actually came from Chicago aka Julia

      • aff says:

        Yes. Back then, she at least had the looks. Now? I can’t stop thinking that she’s a 35 yr old dumb, unemployed girl with bad taste and dad issues. And that’s based on looks alone. When she opens her brayhole? I just kant.

      • tots mcakez is tots mind baughling says:

        Oh crap. The shortness of the tutu, angle, and boots just made me realize why she wears all those junior miss shorty skirts. We know she has trunks like a truck, truck, and ankles like buckets… She has been desperately trying to add some perspective to those sausage legs for so long.

        This explains short skirts and heels (huge thighs meeting huge ankles jammed into pointy shoes at least gives a slight sort of tapering effect, versus a normalish skirt with appropriate pumps, which would clearly show the straight up and down tree-stump legs) and the excessive use of thigh-high boots to try and swath it all in leather.

        Sorry if I am stating something completely obvious, but I just realized it is only partially about the hips (and as a girl with huge hips I avoid such puffy looks), and also more about how those giant hips blend almost seamlessly into equally swollen thighs, knees, calves and ankles.

        Urg.

  3. Records Custodian says:

    If only Julia knew a hair stylist, maybe even one who updated a blog on a horizontal scrolling website, who would be honored to answer the call of duty in exchange for some thoughtfully selected coupons or recycled swag.

    If only.

  4. Worrisome Pelts, PhDonk says:

    Julia imagines the second part of that post will be catnip for hot male models. Reality: she’ll attract a couple of cater waiters with delusions of grandeur. Actually, that’s not a bad metaphor for Julie’s career.

  5. OT. Who did this picture? And would it be okay if I use it for the forthcoming DVD “The Donkey Chronicles” [img]https://skitch.com/lorenfeldman/rxxsw/screenshot-04[/img]

  6. Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

    Did I just imagine it, or was there a new post about the Reader Becky comments on Donkey’s blahhg? Cuz it’s not showing up now …

    • white coat says:

      No, you didn’t imagine it. I saw it too!

      • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

        Shew, thanks! I was srsly questioning my imagination.

      • Worrisome Pelts, PhDonk says:

        Did you see what it said? Has she realized that RB/BR is mocking her?

        • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

          There was only one comment when I scrolled past it, & no, I didn’t read that, but the gist of the post was a recap of Reader Becky’s comments to her on her blog RE: the Verdi ‘magazine’ (heh) shoot & maybe something about swag?.

          (If mods decided to delete it so the joke can continue, then by all means delete these few comments too.)

    • Ineffably Adverbial says:

      Really? What’d it say?

    • Jacy says:

      I took it down for a couple of hours because JP and I had unplanned simultaneous blog-gasms and I thought I’d let you guys comment on his post for a bit before mine went up.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        I just reposted it but for some reason it’s showing up beneath this post and I don’t know why because I lack any kind of tech savvy-ness. Tribune Media Services better sign me up for a tech column. I’ll show my tits.

    • Reader Becky says:

      Sinning cat worshipers, let me remind you that Becky Reader is not Reader Becky.

  7. someproblems says:

    @JP: Word

  8. chesca says:

    why does she do everything so last minute? hasn’t she known for a few weeks that she’s doing this shoot? also, she posted awhile ago asking how to do a vintage inspired look and more than one person commented that there are dozens of vintage hair tutorials on youtube. just once i’d like to see her take the initiative and just learn how to do ANYTHING on her own.

    • aff says:

      she was probably hoping the fauxtographer would handle all the details as part of what “she owed her”… you know, owed her for the GREAT PLEASURE of going to a NYFW show with julia donkerson

  9. bitchface says:

    this whole post gave me the lollies

    can this chick plan ANYthing? she does nothing all day, yet she’s constantly late, manic and “URGENT!!!!! my gays are not available so can I borrow one of yours?”

    all. the. time.

  10. Stop Staring says:

    Can we please send some of our ugly, obese male bunnies to the fauxtoshoot in their tuxes?!

  11. Effervescent Suppositories says:

    I am going to snap my fingers* and have free hair and makeup in 24 hours!!

    *outside a cosmetology school

    • Lily's Third Eye says:

      JULIA! How DO you do it? I am SO JEALOUS of your jam packed life! I SO WISH I could do photo shoots with fake hair and random men today. Instead I had to work with a team to successfully meet a huge deadline for an informative, socially worthy, artistic creative project with distribution in place! Boy am I ever a jealous angry sad hater!

  12. Julia's First Lay says:

    Try Craigslist with that type of ad. People whore themselves out all the time on there.

Comments are closed.