Donk: So Stressed

@astrologyzone – Better than Jan? Because my (Pisces, Gemini rising) month has been like a roller-coaster & not in a good way. I need CALM!!

Awww. Poor widdle. She needs calm, y’all. And why wouldn’t she? It’s STRESSFUL finally succeeding in getting blogs taken down and cajoling Daddy into throwing his weight around because her expiration date is only a few weeks away and dammit, she must bag that McCain!! And how can she do that if he reads her snark blog and learns about the three other boys she’s been dry-humping and boo-hooing about all over her blog and Twitter in less than 18 months? (Greasy was thankfully spared the inevitable breakdown that would have ensued when he inevitably dumped her, thanks to poor dumb Pancakes being Donk-winked. I wonder how her best friend Greasy is, anyway?) And how could she have further sunk her claws into Pancakes O’Moneybags if he knew she’d sent a cuntariffic e-mail to the fiancee of “the one who got away” just a few months ago because “the one who got away” stubbornly refused to realize that Donkey, in fact, was the love of his life and it was time for them to start living happily ever after, yo! Marriage and engagements are sacred, bitches! Unless it’s one that Donkey wants to break up!

It’s also REALLY stressful sending middle-of-the-night psycho e-mails to your “haters” after cutting and pasting the letter that Daddy was about to send out the next day, insisting “I don’t know Julia, I am just an anonymous person and you have mentioned me and I AM GOING TO CRUSH YOU.” And then harassing various innocent people by threatening to have them fired. And then having “Jack McCain’s lawyer” call another person at work, again threatening to have their employment terminated despite the fact they’d never once even commented on your snark blog. And then sending gloating e-mails in a faux-British accent to your haters, including one in which you compare them to pedophiles. So much crazed correspondence to so many different people, all dutifully forwarded to  a number of high-powered Manhattan media and civil liberty lawyers offering their services free of charge! There has been a lot of laughter emanating from law offices this past week.

And with all that going on, poor Donk’s stress levels were through the roof as she had to pretend to Pancakes McCain that she is actually Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm, all sweetness and light, ain’t no psycho here!! Really! I AM THE NORMAL, HEALTHY DONK THAT I AM TODAY! Just a sweet, fun-loving girl who likes grilled vegetables and helicopter rides is all! No alarms bells here, Pancakes! She goes to ashrams!!! And after all, as she said in the e-mail to the commenter yesterday:

I never claimed to be perfect.

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304 Responses to Donk: So Stressed

  1. Schroedinger's Cat Lady says:

    omg … this is too much; i just KANT deal.

    how can one person be so volatile?

  2. My nostrils are TOTALLY symmetrical! says:

    Funny, I always feel stressed when I treat other people like shit too. Huh, how ’bout that.

  3. Shamoolia says:

    Did anyone else catch this recent BNet story by the always amusing Jim Edwards?

    http://www.bnet.com/blog/advertising-business/julia-allison-8217s-campaign-to-rewrite-history-is-coming-along-nicely/7228

    Donkey: “To the best of my knowledge, the cease and desist was sent to the email addresses listed on the blog, as well as one other individual whom a private investigator turned up as one of the authors of Reblogging NonSociety. He has agreed to stop, and so I would urge you not to write anything more about him.”

    What a sociopath. She really can’t keep her lies straight anymore can she? Friends, private investigators, crazed hacker fans all doing her dirty work. Riiiiight.

    The story also links to the actual letter from Dadsers. Veeery interesting.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Donk LaRue says:

      It’s in the blogroll under Busted Donk.

    • LEFOOLIEH says:

      Comment that was on one of JE’s BNet article that has since disappeared, name replacement mine:

      “For real, Donkia Donkerson was my daughter’s third-grade best friend. She was a sweet little girl, if a bit entitled to things like cookies and rides home. So, I’m just weighing in to say, her shenanigans are not the result of bad parenting.”

      That last statement has since been disproved, but charming little anecdote!

    • Brianna says:

      “He has agreed to stop, and so I would urge you not to write anything more about him.”

      “He has agreed to stop, and so I would urge you not to research this person anymore or write anything more about him because you might then reveal that this is totally fabricated and I was sending psycho letters to the wrong person and that is very embarrassing.”

  4. itsjustme says:

    I already expressed my happiness last night but OMG I’m so happy the family is back together. I missed the fun more than I realized.

    I hope the crazy haterz can restrain themselves from contacting the McCains anymore via Twitter, etc. because we all know her IRL cray is enough. Let It Unfold. And let us be here to observe.

    • Friends of Sybil says:

      I totally agree. It is way better when she alone metes out the cray-cray. Let us vow to watch from a distance and not ‘poke the beast’ as it were.

  5. Domesticated Donkey says:

    Seeing this site when I got to my errand-running desk this morning made me feel SO HAPPY. SO BLESSED!!! Thanks Donk La Rue!

  6. Friends of Sybil says:

    JUMPY CLAPS!!

    Also, the recent string of hideous tweets of which this was the crowning achievement?

    VOM IN THE SHOWER!

    Donkey wants Emily fucking Rossum’s publicist. So high and out of her mind yet so, so perfect.

    OMG.

    Also, am i the only one who gets the sense that Donkey KNOWS Pancakes isn’t right for her but is nevertheless going to fit that misshapen peg into her clam dungeon anyway, by any and all means necessary???

    • Donkadooball says:

      I shared the same sentiment over on GOMI last night. When you look at all the pictures she has posted of the two of them together or pictures of her doing his stupid adrenaline junkie dates, she’s got this uncomfortable look in her eyes. It’s almost like she’s saying “I know this probably isn’t going to work, but it has to! I need to marry into this family!!”

      • Shamoolia says:

        LOL at “adrenaline junkie dates.” Maybe she has an uncomfortable look in her eyes because she is fucking terrified and JUMPING OUT OF PLANES to keep this guy around??? I bet if they’re next date was a romantic evening of sticking cactus needles under their nails, she’d happily oblige. That is just how desperate she is to land this dude. It’s gross. Have some friggin’ dignity Julie.

        • Friends of Sybil says:

          Ha! Interesting. Also, could these forced AJDs be to start the process of getting rid of her? Like how much can she take before she says no?

          She jumped out of plane before, but this latest jump seems a lot more intense, non?

          It will be interesting to see how this plays out. You just KNOW she is going to demand ROMANCE! ROMANCE! ROMANCE! on VD and my bet is Pancakes is going to fail spectacularly because he is not cut from that deluded cloth.

          Prop Thing was her last real hope and she fucked that up royally by thinking herself too good.

          • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

            We were certainly led to believe that Donkey already heaved her raft-ass out of a plane once before, but there was no proof then in the way of a certificate, just fauxto’s of a downed Donkey among some chute silks, if I remember correctly.

        • Donkadooball says:

          Bingo. Dating someone who inspires you to try different things is great, but you just know she’s doing this stuff because she’s afraid he’ll lose interest if she’s not 1000% psyched about everything he likes.

          Their next date: sticking cactus needles under their nails, eating raw coyote meat for dinner and and a full filled evening of teasing rattlesnakes in the dark.

  7. Har-Har says:

    “Am I the only one who perversely enjoys getting my dogs really, really worked up when I come home? I totally egg them on. It’s terrible.”

    Dogs, plural? Did Momsers and Dadsers finally win custody of Lily? Good for her!

    Also, !!!!!!!! So. Blessed. to have a reliable Donk outlet again.

    • Take Me To My Wacker Place says:

      It’s not like she has to expend any energy actually taking care of them. When she gets tired of riling them up she can just toss them back to Mom$ers.

      • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

        You know what she’s really doing, don’t you?

        Of course it’s happening at The Holibray Inn Asst’d Living Center, where it’s left to Mom$er to clean up behind dogs terrorized into loosening their bowels, yes, but as to Donkey’s M.O. for getting those dogs over-stimulated in the first place?

        To disturb elderly Gramp$er, to remind him that SHE was there first, that SHE CAN TOO have the ATTN of the entire household ANY. TIME. SHE. WANTS. WHO? Does he think HE is; it’s not like the internet has been customized for HIM, after all.

        • FC! says:

          he doesn’t even have a first name twitter handle. who does he think he is?! i mean, she practically invented loose bowel movements!

    • Donkeys Have Expiration Dates says:

      So blessed that I’m still processing all the blessings.

      And I hope my whoreoscope brings the blessings right on coming!

    • SO BLESSED! says:

      So very, very happy. Go cats, go.

      Very OT: I now have a desk errand DURING the day! No more overnights and (vampire) weekends! Less blurry, nonsensical cat chat from me! I suppose I will lose my edge. At least I’ll have the weekends to grill vegetables, paint my nails alternating colors, wear moon boots and terrorize my dog throughout the house whilst listening to Tim Ferris podcasts.

  8. Donksers says:

    I had forgotten about TheTrueJA. Funny stuff…thanks for the sidebar link.

    • Donkeys Have Expiration Dates says:

      My eighth-favorite cat, Maverick, is under the impression that JP and/or Jacy are proprietors of TheTrueJA. Is he correct?

      • Donksers says:

        I don’t know but I hope they’re somewhere around here. It just wouldn’t be right to carry on without them! DonkLaRue, who are you?

        • FIEIRCE Mani says:

          My perspective….JP and Jacy just went through a trauma….let them rest and get better bunnies.

        • DirtyLakeMichigan says:

          I think our favorite felines are around these here parts. It ‘feels’ like home.
          They may be resting, eating and bathing themselves, but I think Momma and Daddy are here…

  9. Sausage Snappers says:

    Julia, your crazy is showing. You might want to get that checked out.

    And 8439243820 points for the Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm shout-out. <3 Gosh I love it here already.

    • Schroedinger's Cat Lady says:

      “If I had one wish to make, this is the wish I would choose: I want a bobby-pinned mullet, an Aqua dress and a worn out pair of hooves.”

  10. Bitch says:

    This is just insane. I can’t remember where I read this over the last couple of days, but I had no idea that the IP address of “the person” who outed her ex’s name on RBNS matched the IP address of Joowrya Appelsin’s contact with Wikipedia. ALLEGEDLY. You really can’t make this shit up. Of course, she is the victim, and she has nothing to do with people reacting to what she puts out there on the internet. I mean, all those photos of The Boyfriend posted for days after they jumped out of a plane, and she doesn’t expect people to wonder if she is sane?

    I used to feel sorry for her, but after this newest debacle with her/the likes of her harassing and threatening people and abusing their law license – no way.

    I’m glad for the likes of that BNET article, which out her for the liar and manipulator that she is.

    • Donkeys Have Expiration Dates says:

      The BNET article didn’t out her enough for my taste, but it was a start.

    • tots mcakez is tots says:

      Who has that many friend/s willing to do such insanely fucked up shit? Either she isn’t keeping her enemies close enough, or she is a raging fucking psychopathic liar. Occam’s Razor has bet on the latter.

      Especially since we know she doesn’t have A friend, much less MANY friends necessitating this much cray.

  11. Lisa D. says:

    Can we please write Julia Allison all over this amaze-ballz catlady home so that we show up on her Google searches?

    Considering her attempts to rewrite history, I think it’s important to have some accurate info re: Julia Allison on the interwebs.

    • Donkeys Have Expiration Dates says:

      This! Let’s give Reputation Defender and Emmy Rossum’s publicist some work to do for The Amazing Burro!
      juliaallison julia allison julia allison julia baugher julia boggart (harry potter reference there for the cat ladies).

      • Donkeys Have Expiration Dates says:

        And, as I should have known, boggart was in English folklore before it was in Harry Potter.

        “In English folklore, a boggart (or bogart) is a household fairy which causes things to disappear, milk to sour, and dogs to go lame.” -wikipedia

        Sounds eerily appropriate! Save Lilly!

        Julia Allison = Donkey = Julia Boggart >>>> Julia Bogger

        • Donkeys Have Expiration Dates says:

          That whole wikipedia article bears reading, for the lols are abundant: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boggart

        • tots mcakez is tots says:

          Curiously, I had never heard “Bogart” in the original sense. Well, I had, but it was a semi-prominent American slang term for a long time, which means to ‘hoard/take’ something. Like, “Dude, stop bogarting the spliff. Puff, puff, give!”

          It was, at the time, attributed to Humphrey Bogart, for his habit of keeping a smoke without actually seeming to smoke it.

          Your explanation makes WAY more sense.

    • Donkeys Have Expiration Dates says:

      I’m also curious about whether Donks’ wikipedia entry can be made to reflect, you know, what us cat ladies kind of sadly call reality. I wish at least a sentence or two about cat ladies and other haterz was to be seen.

    • Darling Peltskank says:

      I wouldn’t necessarily do that as I much prefer the crazy and hilarious name variations that come up here. Also, she will never be able to fully scrub the internet and the nasty truth will always be coming up somewhere, so why make the effort and spoil all the fun? Besides it might come across as if this place had a mission other than to enjoy the snark and entertainment, if not look slightly obsessive. The truth doesn’t need catladies, it will find its own way, always has, always will.
      Just my 2c.

      • Donk LaRue says:

        Yes, let’s not concern ourselves with that. I am going to do up some loose house rules at some point. The purpose of RBDonk is simply to point and laugh, not to incite harassment.

  12. Rebecca of Donkeybrook Ashram says:

    Pretty much all her “press” has been about Hatergate anyway. We are a month out from the greatest birthcray of all – thank god you’re back!!

  13. MistakesWereMade says:

    Pretty sure I’m more proud of Donks LaRue right now than Peter Baugher is of his daughter. Peter Baugher. Peter Baugher. Have you found this site yet, Peter Baugher? Do you feel the slightest bit of guilt trying to censor the Internet so your pretty pretty princess can hold on to a McCain for longer than the three months it usually takes her suitors to figure out she’s batshit and block her email? So slimy. Totes shower time for you.

    • Friends of Sybil says:

      Well this is one of the more amusing elements of this situation, isn’t it?

      1) Julie could have shuttered the WP blogs TWO YEARS AGO AND DID NOT. She liked the attention, and RBNS was her most trusted source of company since all her friends deserted her for being horrible.

      2) Dadsers is ultimately a pimp. He will pimp her for a McCain, he will pimp for her because he is too far gone himself to notice his daughter is completely messed by all accounts.

      3) The MPD on display throughout this process has been kind of staggering (hence my new screen name, formerly someproblems here).

      It is really sad.

      This level of dissociative disorder demonstrated by Julie usually accompanies severe abuse i am told. I am just putting that out there.

      • Donkeys Have Expiration Dates says:

        Gotta say it’s not amaze-ballz when armchair diagnostician cat ladies get too diagnostic. Too much fail resides in the Donkey for even a lonely, kind of sad cat lady to process. Can’t she just be a bitch?

        • disagree. I love reading the theories.

          • Donksers says:

            I love the theories, too. It adds a different and interesting dimension to the snark.

          • tots mcakez is tots says:

            Additionally, many of us have admitted (myself included) that our scorn of JA is partially based on our frustration with a similar character in our own lives. Hearing armchair diagnosis sometimes helps us to better understand the donkmons that terrorize our own lives… so let them unfold!

          • Friends of Sybil says:

            Yeah, and it is not like this even NEW speculation.

        • Friends of Sybil says:

          I assume you have visited TWoP before? This is the same thing. She is a character. I am speculating about my fave TV character.

          Nothing to speculate about = no speculation.

          • tots mcakez is tots says:

            TWoP in da house!

            Additionally (I pointed this out in chat), I was very amused to make “Magic Muffin” into a compound that means “McGuffin,” also sometimes spelled “Maguffin.” In literature and film, it is something in a story that drives the external plot — sometimes as a diversionary tactic.

            She has attempted to imply (YOOO HOOOO, James Franco, over HEEEERE!) that this is all some sort of fabricated character, or performance art. If we take her at her word, then we should be allowed to theorize and mock her just as we do him.

            Big difference, of course, being that I would fuck the pants off Franco, and I would triple bag her and then send her into the Lamda Lamda Lamda house to try and create a Tri-Lamdonk hybrid.

          • Friends of Sybil says:

            You raise an excellent point in bringing up Franco, since Julie does claim this to be a persona or a character and has done so many times in very grating ways each time (but does she have any other mode besides grating?).

            While i would openly deride James Franco as a fraud in all fields but acting and not want to fuck the pants off of him, I readily admit that’s just me. His fronting to be an artist, filmmaker and writer when everyone knows his work IS subpar is a little Julia Allison-esque. But if he floats the fantasy boat sexually — hey, it’s all good. I prefer Mark Ruffalo.

            But onto what this really got me thinking about vis-a-vis her ‘character.’ It is possible that she comes across as MPD and with serious issues because she is just a horrible actress not well committed to her character or persona enough. She wants it to be one way, but fails to pull it off for many, many reasons, and she comes across looking another way to the audience (ie seriously deranged with many hideous skeletons in the closet). That would explain a lot, because her arrogance and self regard cannot be explained by overcompensation alone.

            At least that’s how it appears to my sad cat lady diagnostician mind (snerk).

        • zandra - edibles lover! says:

          says the person who posted numerous comments re boggarts.

          i think speculations about the Donk are far more valid, seeing as this site is about the Donk not Harry Potter.

          • tots mcakez is tots says:

            Hey! All love, no hate.

            Let’s not attack, let’s get back.

            Let theories, and allusions, unfold!

          • Donkeys Have Expiration Dates says:

            I aim to inform and amuse. I got to boggarts because I’ve long thought Julia Boggart an improvement over the more common Julia Bogger.

            However, feel free to call me on my frequent rambl–

            NEVER MIND, BECAUSE IT WAS TOTS MY FRIEND WHO CRITICIZED THE DIAGNOSTICIAN CAT LADIES. I AM TOTS NOT ACCOUNTABLE FOR HER ACTIONS, BUT I WILL TRY TO GET HER TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU BECAUSE I’M LIKE THE NICEST PERSON EVER.

  14. Friends of Sybil says:

    And yes, VIVA DONKS LARUE!!

  15. for serious?? says:

    There is a MINOR flaw in her explanation to the commenter:

    Julia Allison Baugher has NO FRIENDS.

    Seriously, name me one close “bestie” who would act like this on her behalf. She’s lucky if she can name five people who respond to her twitters/dems/texts (and, no, a drunk Emily Rose does not count!)

    I rest my case.

    • A-Game Content says:

      Remember what drunk Emily Rose said? “…you know my loyalty…”

      I’m not trying to give any credence to JA’s excuse (and I don’t even know if the timelines would work out), but maybe ER was making drunken apologies to her for impersonating Pancake’s layer? Maybe ER took it too far?? JA published it on her blergh because she can’t help herself- another online “brag” about her minion and the lengths said minion will go to for her… Just a thought!

      On another note, Donks La Rue, you rule!

      • A-Game Content says:

        Ugh. *lawyer

      • Friends of Sybil says:

        I don’t think the timelines match, you hit on something very salient here!

        In the current context of Donksanity, “you know my loyalty” really is very chilling.

        WTF else has Donkey been fucking with? What other sad little machinations has she had others do her bidding on besides returning underwear to department stores?

  16. Transparent says:

    Bravo amen hallelujah meow meow meow!

    Today is a blessed day.

    Julia Allison is a Donkey. Peter Baugher is an Ass. They both reek like caca donkey doodoo.

  17. Dutch Pornographic Memoirs in Poor Translation says:

    The funny thing is, until Donks and Dad$ers went nuts and tried to shut down the internet, I had lost interest in her and her reblogging sites.

    Yes Dad$ers that whole thing of “ignore it and will go away” is true, but by threatening people you are asking for retaliation.

    Is it possible Donks realized we were growing bored and had Dad$ers open a can of worms on purpose? I mean when in the entire history of the internet has trying to shut down a website ever been regarded as useful PR?

    They must be so stupid 🙁

    • Donkeys Have Expiration Dates says:

      I also was a very occasional reader before the epic censorship cray-cray.

      If the Boggarts continue on their present tack for long enough, the inevitable repercussions will become known as the Streisand-Allison Effect.

    • Friends of Sybil says:

      I was also getting bored of her. It is her antics that keeps everyone interested. Duh!

  18. ShesJustStupid says:

    So she deleted this from her twitter:

    “Good
    3 hours ago from Twitter – Comment – Like – Share ”

    What?

  19. FC! says:

    La Donqué commenting over on valleywag/gawker:

    “I have @Julia. It has not made my life any better. I would demand a refund, but it was free.”
    http://gawker.com/comment/35802754

    actually, julia, someone else had that handle. you then demanded it from twitter and they wrenched it away from the person it belonged to, probably because they weren’t important enough or besties with jack dorsey. same thing with @meghan. “it has not made your life any better”, yet somehow you just HAD to have it.

    • FC! says:

      update: reply from commenter fatmonalisa.
      @Julia Allison: You should send Twitter a cease and desist letter too.

    • New Year New You says:

      Another hard day at the “office”. Donkey must be bored and have no errands to run. “OMG bunnies I neeeeeeed a publicist, I mean I send tweets and comment on Gawker of course I need a publicist. Daddy, daddy I want a publicist and I want one now. *stamps hooves*”

      • General Malaise says:

        Or she likes to ask people to do her research for her, nothing new here. What exactly does she get paid to do and why can’t she just do it??? Clutch my pearls and get me a mint julep, work is hard. “Does anyone have more up to date numbers on the % of millennials who have joined a social network? Pew from Feb 2010 says 72%. Seems low.”

        • Bitchy, throughout the universe, in perpetuity says:

          Umm, seriously. Can she not contact Pew, who I would imagine would be glad to have their numbers/study cited in a national newspaper? I mean, perhaps they, having sponsored the study, could explain the counterintuitive results. @Pew: e-mail me! It’s imeffinglazy@mememe.com!

      • General Malaise says:

        She totally reminds me of the spoiled brat from “Girls Just Want to Have Fun”. Daddy!!!!!!!

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__cQQAZ0wEY

  20. MY place in Chicago says:

    Any intel on the Loren Feldman shut down? Was it just a coincidence that he yanked everything a day or two after his open letter to Peter or did they get to him?

    Also, despite my cathusband’s concern over my glee, I couldn’t be happier about this resurrection if it was Jesus himself. Thanks y’all!

  21. Dr. Gary says:

    Thanks to Donk LaRue for giving us sad, lonely cat ladies a new home!

    And this pic sums up nicely how I feel about the outcome of all this Donkey Drama:

    http://www.awionline.org/ht/a/GetImageAction/i/3018

    • Dr. Gary says:

      Oh wait! Forgot to post this re: The Streisand Effect:

      “the Net interprets censorship as damage and routes around it.” Examples of such attempts include actions against photographs, numbers, files or websites (for example via a cease-and-desist letter). Instead of being suppressed, the information receives extensive publicity, often being widely mirrored across the Internet or distributed on file-sharing networks.”

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Streisand_effect

      Donkey and Dadsers? You dun goofed!

      • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

        Consequences (of search engine
        results) will never be the same!!!

      • Bouncing Little Burro says:

        Dr. Gary,

        You didn’t happen to read a Cracked article about that a few days ago, did you? It was such an awesome coincidence with what was going on to RBNS. I’ve never heard of the Stresisand Effect before, but it’s exactly what’s happening now!

  22. FC! says:

    a funnily appropriate headline on BBC news: “Web images to get expiration date”
    (cue joke: all of julia’s images are already expiring, har har).
    no, but seriously, it’s topical, what with her web scrubbing. images can now be tagged to be un-viewable after a certain date (such as when you no longer want those lingerie photos of you to appear in your google search results)
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-12215921

    • Shamoolia says:

      Speaking of expiration date, she recently claimed the documentary took her expiration date quote out of context and that she was talking about fertility but she also brings it up in the mediabistro story and she is clearly talking about looks/appearance.

      “It’s time for dinner and I suggest we go somewhere in her neighborhood. A look of horror comes across her face. “I can’t go out looking like this.” This prompts further pontification/rationalization on the separation of her two sides. “Why would you want to present yourself in an unattractive light? I like being seen as attractive. I also know that I have an expiration date. Maybe seven years.””

      • Take Me To My Wacker Place says:

        Yeah the “expiration” comment was totally about having babies before stepping out in public to have dinner…..

      • tots mcakez is tots says:

        Who is dumb enough to say that shit in front of a reporter? Seriously? I try not to think that shit, and even when I do, I don’t say it. Much less in front of someone who makes their living from publicizing retarded shit.

        “I like being seen as attractive.” Hellllllllo impulse control fail.

  23. New Year New You says:

    Christ, look at the photo of her “office” on her blergh today, she has a picture of her and Pancakes as her desktop background. Julia, you are a crazy, fucking, psycho-stalker loon. You can “my boyfriend, my boyfriend, my boyfriend” all you want, but gurl please he’s some guy YOU JUST MET who you’ve knocked hooves with a few times AND YET YOU HAVE A PHOTO OF HIM AS YOUR DESKTOP BACKGROUND. Be afraid Jack, be very, very afraid.

    PS Donkey.

    • Shamoolia says:

      I noticed that too. JACKRABBIT BOILER ALERT!

    • Dr. Gary says:

      And if you look even closer? You will see that there is also a Donkey + Pancakes xmas photo hanging up on the window (wall?) just behind the laptop.

      Do you think she uses that giant map to help with all her stalker/harassment needs?

      I love how the parent’s OMG! Downtown! Condo! is now ‘her apartment’ and ‘her office’.

      • FC! says:

        but why is it so dim in her office? and what is that skyline picture thingy behind her laptop?

      • Take Me To My Wacker Place says:

        Of course, she’s trying to work out which time zone our timestamps are 🙂

      • Jacy says:

        I really wonder if she’s told Pancakes that it IS her condo, and the rentals are going along with it because they feel it makes her look more attractive and therefore they might be that much closer to marrying her off to a wealthy Republican family.

        Hi, bitches!

        I like the new crib!

        • sad lilly says:

          I’m sure they don’t care. My son always calls his car “his car”, even though he has not contributed a penny to it’s cost or upkeep. In fairness, he is a college student not a nearly 30 year old grownup.

        • Shamoolia says:

          Hi bitch!

          I miss the dolphin 😉

      • tots mcakez is tots says:

        The Secret: she is working it.

        Unbeknownst to her: the secret is you are a fucking donkey.

    • Donkadooball says:

      Oh my. First, her “office”?? How cute. I didn’t know you needed dedicated office space to Google yourself, email exes and stay up all night writing manic Tweets. Doesn’t seem like a whole lot of work is getting done in that office either. Google Maps on one screen and nothing open on the laptop? Seems about right.
      Also, what’s the deal with the background image of her and FlapJack? That just screams “me and my boyfriend! Ask me about him!! Ask me what he does!! Why yes, he is a MCCAIN and he’s dating MEEEEEE!!!” I don’t know. My cathusband and I have been together for four years and while I love him a whole lot, I have never made a picture of us (or just him) the background on any of my computers. It just seems so teenagery.

      • Dr. Gary says:

        Right???? The last time I had photos of me and my OMG! BOYFRIEND! posted up anywhere? Ummmm…junior high, maybe? Or NEVER?

      • Some Girl says:

        My catfriend and I have been together for 2 years and we hardly have any pictures of us together. The ones we do have usually make me cringe. I made one my phone wallpaper once, and it lasted there about 30 minutes until I couldn’t stand the cheesiness of it any longer!

      • Friends of Sybil says:

        Yeah, that blergh post was pretty much for the sole purpose of displaying her lap top desk top.

        The maps obsession has got to be run-off from the stunt dating and Pancakes entrapment project.

        File that blergh posting under the heading: The Vacuity and Banality of Trapping a Pancakes with side of Pancakes Project, by Sparkles Donkey

      • tots mcakez is tots says:

        dudebrah and I are buying a freakin’ house together (no marriage, for us, as we are both atheists and find it stupid, so this is my closest comparison), and we only have a whopping two pictures featuring both of us, neither of which were snapped at our behest.

        Who needs to desperately document their budding ‘love’ that extensively? In the first three months of our relationship, dudebrah and I were never wearing clothes enough to snap a photo!

    • My nostrils are TOTALLY symmetrical! says:

      WTF, really? I was dating a guy for a year and didn’t even have a pic on my cube wall of him/us. Psy-cho. Reee-reee-reee-reee-reee (insert knife slash here ala Garth Algar).

    • Shamoolia says:

      She also took her laptop with her to Phoenix so I am sure he saw the photo plastered all over her desktop as well. Real smooth, Julie, real smooth.

    • Friends of Sybil says:

      Pancakes Entrapment 101, bitches. Also, maps??? LOL.

      • New Year New You says:

        Seriously wtf with the “I love maps”. She only ever goes to 3 other places in the whole wide world. You just know she’s sitting there with Google’s satellite street view or whatever it’s called open on Pancake’s house. When she’s not trying to track down commenter’s work addresses that is.

        The Office of Julia Allison, FBI – aka Federal Braying Institution.

        • Friends of Sybil says:

          There is that, but i also think it ties back into Pancakes obsession. Pancakes must also like maps, being a serious military dude bro and all.

          I had a friend how would contort himself into being the male version on some level of whoever it was he was in a relationship.

          Turns out i don’t like his current partner and we aren’t friends anymore.

          There is something of this spineless lack of a soul in Donkey only she is about 2 million times more loud, desperate and pathetic.

          • Friends of Sybil says:

            “who would contort himself”

          • tots mcakez is tots says:

            This is pretty SOP for narcissists and sociopaths. The best way to make people love you is to glom onto their interests. They think you are their long-lost soulmate, when really they are just carbon copies of you.

        • zandra - maps lover! says:

          new handle

        • Dr. Gary says:

          And seriously?

          If I were Julie? With no job + no real responsibilities, AND Momsers + Dadsers bank account and/or Grammy’s Trust Fund to spend? I’d get myself a Eurail Pass + travel all over Europe faster than you could say “The Donkey Brays at Midnight!”

          I’d try new kinds of food. Swim in the Mediterranean. Sleep on the beaches of Greece. Sip espresso on the steps of a church in Florence. Check out museums. Practice my French. Go to underground jazz clubs in Prague. Go wine tasting in Bordeaux. Take a boat tour around Lake Lucerne.

          But instead? This narrow-minded simpleton is just killing time in her parent’s condo until she snags a Rich Husband. The stupid. It burns.

          • Winnetka, IL says:

            The new crop of global migrants go to places like Phuket and Zanzibar. That’s where you’re sure to find a looker. In face, there are thousands of blogs dedicated to serious post-graduate writing all over the http://www….

          • New Year New You says:

            Excuse. We are pescetarians we do not eat spam.

          • Dr. Gary says:

            LOL!

          • New Year New You says:

            Thank you, this. If I had Julie’s, or so many other of these ego-bloggers. trust/parental funding I would live large. I would have the biggest, baddest life you’ve ever seen on a blog. In fact even as a hard-working poor, when I was ten years younger I had a life that involved so much more than anything these people ever do. It burns. Like Tiger Balm.

          • Blinky, Fat, Flapping Fuck - You Shitheads! says:

            Do you really think her parents have the kind of money to fund that level of elaborate lifestyle?

            I’m wondering if her move back home was because they decided it was cheaper to put her up in the OMGDOWNTOWNCONDO stall than the pink shoebox in NYC.

          • Blinky, Fat, Flapping Fuck - You Shitheads! says:

            I don’t think the Boogers have that kind of money. Enough to keep her in the downtown pen and some cheap flights, but not to live like a true heiress.

          • Shamoolia says:

            That’s what you or I would do but we all know what a small town hick Julie really is. No curiosity about the world at all.

            I think the Boggers are upper middle class, but not super rich. But you don’t even have to be super rich to travel the world on the cheap. She could easily live on what they were blowing on that garish NY studio every month. Ever heard of the Bumfuzzles? They sailed around the world on a boat with zero experience and living off investment dividends.

          • Hanger Hips says:

            Her blergh would be a hell of lot more interesting, that’s for sure.

  24. None Society says:

    A PERFECT STORM is brewing!!!!
    Expiration date + birthday party fail + imminent dumping by Pancakes + cease & desist fail = the donkey will become a walrus, KOOKOOKACHOO!!!

    Let’s not forget that wherever she has a column, comments will be enabled and she will NOT be able to censor them! The only way she will is if she constantly harasses the tech people, which will go great for her long-term employment.

    • Shamoolia says:

      Eh, although commenters on newspaper websites are some of the craziest mf’ers on the internet, I’d probably refrain from commenting on her columns. Let her burn that bridge all on her own. She needs no help from us. Let’s just sit back from afar and enjoy our popcorn.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      The second the comments turn against her and she complains? The IT Dept will go out of its way to make sure the comments stay enabled. Because as we all know, tech people do not respond well to hoof-stomping and hissy fits.

    • tots mcakez is tots says:

      Umm, people have to read her columns* to be bothered to comment.

      If only the IP’s were enabled, then the sudden rash of “Darling Julia”s and “I don’t even know JA, but I just want to gush” comments would prove that the only person who loves her is herself.

      *That is, if she writes them, or gets mom$ter to write them for her. Little Jewels sucks at deadlines, if history proves true, and I’m not sure how long the Chi press will accept faux-rape stories, especially when she has a high-prof boyfriend. Worrisome!

    • My nostrils are TOTALLY symmetrical! says:

      Has anybody in this family ever even seen a chicken?

  25. Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

    Second time my car’s battery has died this winter. Thanks, Chicago weather!
    29 minutes ago via Echofon

    What? Has Donkey already fallen out of love w/ the city she just fell in love w/, the city scant miles from the town where she was raised that presumably shares the same eco-systems & seasons? Does FlapJack know how capricious Donkey is w/ her love?

    Notice how Donkey has never mentioned car-$hopping &/or car pymt$?

    • Shamoolia says:

      I have a feeling MY car is just like MY condo … mooched off of the parents. It’s probably her elderly grandfather’s old car or something.

    • Donkadooball says:

      It has to be a ZipCar. There is no way she could have kept quiet about buying a car. I remember she was tooling around in a BMW ZipCar at one point. She’s probably still doing that and letting everyone think she owns it.

    • Shamoolia says:

      “Good morning! It’s bone-chillingly cold in Chicago today, which should be super-fun since I have a Jetblue @Citybuzz shoot – outside!! Oy.”

      Feel the love! She fell in love with the city! It’s a mad love affair! She just had to stay in Chicago all winter instead of moving to sunny LA! HAD TO!

    • Dr. Gary says:

      LOL. Yeah, it’s *her* car, just like it’s *her* downtown condo and *her* office.

      • Darling Peltskank says:

        Dang! Didn’t see you there, Dr. Gary. Delayed JANX.

      • Donkadooball says:

        I can’t get over how pathetic it is that she’s claiming that this stuff is hers. Like she worked hard and earned all of it. Sad sad sad. Her car = ZipCar. Her condo = Mom$er$’ and Dad$er$’. Her office = sad, sterile little corner in the aforementioned condo. Transportation, housing and employment – all things that a 30 year old woman should be able to manage on her own, yet she has to play pretend.

    • Darling Peltskank says:

      She’s probably using momser’s ride. After all, her parents’ omg downtown condo is “her” appartment too.

      • tots mcakez is tots says:

        They’re “my” memories, too! Since everything available is instantly hers, she has never plagiarized, and anything publicly available is hers to own.

        Hide yo lives, kids, she’s taking everbody up in here.

  26. Donkadooball says:

    What are the odds of Donks and FlapJack making it until Valentine’s Day? I could see her requiring a trip to the psych ward if he dumps her right before Valentine’s Day and turning THE BIG 3-0!

    • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

      FlapJack very well may be the male version of the Ugly Zuckling, in which case he just needs to put a ring on it if he wants tenure.

      • Bitchy, throughout the universe, in perpetuity says:

        Squee! Your handle gives me the gigglies. Well done, Big Head Fraudsie, well done.

  27. Shamoolia says:

    “There are no words. RT @FashionweekNYC @Sn00ki Snooki’s new book is #24 on the New York Times Best Seller list!”

    Actually, Julie, there are words. This smart little famewhore is riding her 15 minutes all the way to the bank, something you could never do. She embraces the haters, embraces her “character” and has over a million twitter followers to boot.

    Snooki: 1
    Donkey: 0

    • Donkadooball says:

      This.

      Also, when is she going to stop voicing her dissatisfaction for what shows on the NYT Best Seller List? It doesn’t make her come across as any kind of intellectual. We all knows she only reads self help books. A whole lotta good that’s doing for her.

    • Scooby Don't says:

      She’s still holding a grudge because she couldn’t get any of the Jersey Shoreites to leap at the opportunity to make a free appearance at the last bi-coastal bipolar birthday bash

      Silly silly burro!

    • diluted brain says:

      BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! snooki:1, donkey:0 is hysterical

  28. Restylame says:

    OMG! It feels so good to be back in the basement! I even got to keep my wonk-eye avatar! So fitting! SO BLESSED.

  29. Bouncing Little Burro says:

    “Because my (Pisces, Gemini rising) month has been like a roller-coaster & not in a good way. I need CALM!!”

    Uh…you just spent the week with your new boyfriend skydiving and riding in a helicopter. How is he suppose to interpret you telling the world that you had a crazy, not-so-good month. Get some perspective.

    • Ineffably Adverbial says:

      You’re assuming Pancakes cares enough to follow her online life, silly bunny.

    • OK I’m just gonna put it out here: Pisces girls are crazy bitches. Stay away from me, pisces girls. I am not trying to get your man, you can quit acting like a jealous aggro.

      • Donkeys Have Expiration Dates says:

        Girls who self-identify as Pisces are crazy bitches because that means that they actually care about astrology.

      • tots mcakez is tots says:

        Self-serving shout-out… the JAmyL (Julio Albatross in My Life) is also a Pieces. “Still waters run deep” = You smile and make believe you are perfect, sitting high on your still water bench, when below you are trapping and drowning everything that passes near your reach.

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Donk LaRue says:

          I was married to a Pisces for eight years. FUCKED. UP. Totally, totally crazy when you plumbed the “still waters.” I realized two years into it and it took me that long to get out of it.

  30. ShesJustStupid says:

    That bnet article now no longer shows up on her first page of google search. Page 5 now, sadly.

  31. ShesJustStupid says:

    What a tool.

    “Definitive proof that Ivanka Trump’s life is perfect. Sigh. RT @IvankaTrump: Check out my 9-pg feature in Hello UK – http://www.facebook.com/photo
    1 hour ago from Twitter – Comment – Like – Share “

  32. Sausage Snappers says:

    “Whenever I question whether the internet is a force for good or evil, I am going to remember Jorge and his little daughter.”

    You guys, I just… she will NEVER GET IT WILL SHE.

    • Worrisome Pelts says:

      Dear Cease and Donksist-

      The internet is a system for the collection and dessemination of information. The internet, like a life of privilege, is not inherently one thing or another: it is what you make of it. Please try to make your less of a gaping shithole.

      Namaste, bitch,

      WP

  33. Donkadooball says:

    YOU GUYS!
    My brother and his wife are in the processing of adopting a cat from their local shelter. You know how cats up for adoption sometimes have funny/weird names? Well the cat they’re looking to adopt is named DONKEY. I LOL’d when he told me.

    • FC! says:

      hah. my cats were named milk and juice at the shelter. they now have even more bizarre names 😛

      • Donkadooball says:

        Let’s hear it for bizarre cat names! We named our cats after junk food – Snickers, Muffin and Count Chocula. My inlaws have a Skittles – my cathusband and I suggested the name.

        • Captain Gary says:

          Yay.com for this new site! I was a lurker (commented once or twice under “Bicoastal Bipolar,” if that tells you how long ago I last commented) for most of 2010 on The Site That Shall Remain Nameless, but the last few weeks of cray have really pissed me off, so I’m glad this new site is kicking.

          My catlady and I prefer to give our cats human names, but not the normal “cool” names — you know, regular old people names. We have a Gary and a Carla right now, and if we get another, I’m lobbying hard for Kurt or Jason.

          Anyway, glad to have the lulz back!

          • Dr. Gary says:

            UM. Excuse you! But *I* am the original ‘Gary’.

            I demand that you cease + desist from using the name ‘Gary’ immediately. Or I will be forced to hire the LOL firm of Dadsers + Donkey, LLP and sue you for infringements on my right to snark.

          • Donksers says:

            Haha! Dr. Gary and Captain Gary…love it.

          • Dr. Gary says:

            I demand that YOU cease + desist using the name ‘Gary’.

            You are also hereby instructed to stop any, and all, use of the name(s): ‘Gary’, ‘Dr. Gary’, ‘Captain Gary’, ‘Captain Gary Snugglepants’ or ‘Mrs. Gary Fluffington’.

            You are also instructed to immediately stop THINKING about using of any of the names previously listed, as per se, and such as.

            If any of the above is NOT honored, my Attorney at LOL, Joy Anton, will be contacting you at your place of employment for further discussion.

          • FC! says:

            perhaps the two Garys can resolve this, such that one remains Dr. Gary DDS, and Capt. Gary serves as the dental technician/hot tub bartender?

          • Captain Gary says:

            Two things — first, I’m no illustrious Doctor of Donkology, but a rather lowly junior officer in the DonkCorps, so there’s no need to worry for your station, Good Doctor. I recognize your place as the original Gary-themed cat-person and have no designs on your title. No need to invoke lulz-yers, no matter how inevitable they may seem at the moment.
            Secondly, I’m named after my cat. He’s a twenty-pounder who’s far too grand to refer to as simply “Gary.”

          • Dr. Gary says:

            Well, perhaps we can come to some sort of arrangement.

            I propose that you wire a ‘small gift’ of $10,000.00 to my bank account. Once you have agreed to my terms, I will forward wire instructions.

          • Captain Gary says:

            That actually works out, because I’ve just received an email that, if a certain banker from a certain continent is to be believed, could put an end to all my financial troubles.

          • Dr. Gary says:

            Looks like a win/win to me!

          • Donksers says:

            I love regular ol’ run-of-the-mill human names for pets. My next dog’s name is going to be Mike.

        • tots mcakez is tots says:

          There is a rescue in my area that regularly winds up with litters of dumped pups, and the pups are always theme named. Recently they had the choco-batch of labs, named “Mars,” “Snickers,” “Reeses,” etc.

          Although, to their discredit, the recent batch was named, by someone who donated, after the J-Shore crew. Someone, somewhere, is adopting a Snooki as we speak.

      • Pescachickatarian says:

        I’ve always wanted to call a cat ‘Chairman Meiow’ but my cat’s a girl and has enough issues already.

  34. Donkey Darko says:

    She tweets: “STILL searching for an awesome publicist. Any suggestions would be greeted with air cupcakes (less calories than actual cupcakes!)”

    First of all, it’s FEWER calories, you pathetic and offensive excuse for a “professional” writer.

    Second, you have no need for a publicist. A publicist can’t change the reality of what you are and Dadsers can’t make the truth of you go away, no matter how hard he tries. (And say, doesn’t he have better/more important/more income-generating things to do at the office? Does the rest of the firm know how he’s been spending his time?)

    And third, DONKEY!!!

    Happy to see you guys again. So. Blessed.

    • General Malaise says:

      Guys, she’s still looking, after what, a whole 2-3 days since her original tweet? Can’t you relate to her exasperation????

      Her miniscule work ethic and “can’t lift a finger” to do anything useful is so infuriating. Is she going to crowd-source for every fucking thing? I work with women, who commute, raise kids, run-shit, write grants and get more shit done in a day that sometimes I do in a week.

      • Friends of Sybil says:

        OMG! I know. And Twitter sourcing for a publicist. I am pretty sure people who actually need publicists don’t have to crowd source for them.

        So happy! So blessed!!

    • Friends of Sybil says:

      LOVE your handle!

  35. missparklecupcake says:

    the streisand effect strikes again! this feels like donk-a-vue. lawyers are inevitable!!!!!!

    http://technolog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/01/20/5885523-texting-fountain-ladys-problems-bigger-than-youtube-fame?GT1=43001

  36. CT says:

    I work with a company that owns BWR. I just checked who represents Emmy Rossum and it’s Leslie Sloane Zelnik. AS IF she would ever represent JA! She only represents A-listers (tv and movie starts). No washed up pseudo-internet celebrities. Keep dreaming donkey!

    • Wonky Donkey says:

      That’s why her dream publicist will never happen. She needs A-list publicity talent when she’s Z-list.

      • New Year New You says:

        I’ve never heard such shit in my life. What exactly does she need a publicist for except as being a prostitution whore? She has an agent in LA, if she needed a publicist they could get her one, such bullshit.

        Yo donkey, find out who represents Ashley Dupre, you’re cut from the same cloth. And of course Ashley got a column in the New York Post she didn’t have to resort to “conquering” the renowned Chicago mediascape.

    • General Malaise says:

      In about 10 minutes JA will be tweeting for Zelnick’s e-mail. Turd head.

    • FC! says:

      servicey. of course, donk never reads here, so that info will be totally lost on her.

  37. diluted brain says:

    Hi lovely cat peeps! I just wanted to say I missed you all and will embrace our new home. woohoo!!!!

    PS – I do not even have a photo as of yet of my hubscat in my cube at my new job…. god forbid a computer background. Man, she’s fucking crazy. I can’t wait until this relationship falls apart.

  38. MistakesWereMade says:

    Wait. Where was it confirmed that she will be writing for the Chicago Tribune?

    • Dr. Gary says:

      Psssst! Check this out:

      http://twitpic.com/3pzrzd

      • MistakesWereMade says:

        UGH.

      • for serious?? says:

        Thanks, Dr Gary. Read it before, but it’s always good for a LOL.

        Conquered? Conquered.

        If that’s what they’re calling ‘run out of town on a rail’ these days, fine with me.

        This is going to be FAIL. I live in Seattle. Our local , newspaper folded a few years ago – RIP Seattle PI. Now, we have a daily paper that is 90% syndicated. We get our columns from the NYT, Post, WSJ, LA Times, SF Chronicle and Washington Post. Plus, we have two great weeklies – one of which is the Stranger (edited by Dan Savage). There’s no need for a pithy, fluffy “relationships” column by a bitch who doesn’t know shit about anything.

        Syndicated columns are a dime a dozen these days. The readers have to WANT it to get it to run. This turkey of a column will never get off the ground.

        I wouldn’t be surprised if they pitched her the opportunity for her column to run in more than 100+ outlets. However, see above….not gonna happen.

        Just wait until she submits that drivel about parents naming their children according to how their URL would read or setting up twitter/tumblr/fb accounts for a newborn. It’ll hit the circular file and never see the light of day…..

      • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

        Nothing like a Mutt & Slutt fauxto to divert attention away from the fact that Donkey can’t right/rite/write/ her way out of a wet paper sack.

      • Sausage Snappers says:

        of COURSE there’s a peak of cleavage. It’s all she’s ever offered the world. She better get ready. More haters are coming her/(our?) way once her column starts.

        • Pelterina says:

          I’d say it’s more than just a peek of cleavage. Because thrusting your boobs out at the world screams *real journalist*.

        • cupcake cray cray says:

          yes, I believe once there is visible bra, we’ve gone beyond “peek” status.

      • Donksers says:

        Nice boob shot, Donkey. We all know how much she loves to show off her “symmetrical breasts.” Here’s what she said to Gawker in 2008:

        “Why do people hate me so? Um … this is pretty easy. It looks like I have the cushiest job in the world, based upon no intelligence and even less effort. Also, I have perfectly symmetrical breasts which I like to display with v-neck sweaters. How could you NOT hate me??”

        Well of course we’re all going to hate her because she is the ONLY woman in the universe who has nice breasts. She’s so cocky and arrogant. I can’t even imagine what a pain in the ass it must have been to raise her.

        • cupcake cray cray says:

          I’m sorry, I haven’t really gone around comparing my tits with all my other friends, so please forgive my ignorance…is there an abundance of women walking around with noticeably unsymmetrical breasts, so much so that having ‘perfectly symmetrical’ breasts is something worth bragging over?

        • Scooby Don't says:

          The Breasts are a Lie!

      • Cupcake-the-Commenter says:

        Worst-looking pelts in a long time

      • Scooby Don't says:

        I love how she says she could talk about startups, entrepreneurs and venture capital until 4 am.
        Like she actually understands the work, negotiations and financial in and outs of any of that.
        Rubbing your boobs against some founder’s arm does not equal an indepth talk about startup funding.
        All the meaning these subjects have to her can be summed up in the following phrase: “More money to buy me pretty things”

        • Missing Davos Report says:

          still waiting to hear about her Davos rubbings,
          2 year anniversary coming-up

        • peltastic plastic hair says:

          “Like she actually understands the work, negotiations and financial in and outs of any of that.
          Rubbing your boobs against some founder’s arm does not equal an indepth talk about startup funding.”

          Marry me?

      • General Malaise says:

        Is her skirt sheer? Did she hike up the lining? OK, back to Lost.

      • sad lilly says:

        Lilly looks so sad in that photo 🙁

      • Angeline L says:

        Psst…”Tribune Media Services” is not the same as “The Chicago Tribune”. “Tribune Media Services” runs a crapload of craptastic columns by all sorts of no-names.
        http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/

        • ShesJustStupid says:

          Ahhh…now I get it. Same old BS. LOL at this is her “dream job.”

        • Winnetka, IL says:

          That is the shittiest looking entry to a bunch of navel-gazing blogs….wow, NO ONE is going to read her column “in 100+” venues…..how will anyone be able to find it?
          So. blessed. that this new endeavor is going to sink like a stone.

  39. Fashion Girl says:

    ZOMG it’s good to see you disgusting fat shut-in whores again on the interwebz!!!

  40. diluted brain says:

    I’m hating on this twitter – I would tell her off if I followed her. “At first I got upset that Twitter suggested I follow “@WeightWatchers” (are they calling me fat?!) Then I realized it was promoted. Oh. ”

    I follow WW and damn proud of it to stay my 115 – 117 weight around just over 5 ft tall. Bitch, that’s how I stay tiny & cute plus looked hot for my wedding. (You hear that, wedding). It’s a lifestyle not a diet. Why don’t you stop putting down people on twitter???!!!
    I hate her off-putting remarks on twitter such as telling Americans to kill themselves. She needs a filter to think before she types (or speaks because we all know that voice is beat too).

    • Convenient Feminist says:

      Translation: “Are they calling me fat?? I AM NOT FAT! I AM TINY AND CUTE!! I AM NOT RANDOM!!!!”

    • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

      Twitter suggested that I follow Cindy McCain. I did look at her page & noticed that she started following Donkey even before she started following Gabrielle Giffords & Mark Kelly … How. Fuck.

      It should be noted that around the time of Donkey’s AZ visit, @CindyhM1 also mentions surviving a brain bleed & the dog’s onset of chewing furniture legs …

      Braying bleeds & Tinnitus, Cindy … they may lead to drugs … be careful!

    • SO BLESSED! says:

      Jennifer Hudson’s currently and prominently featured in Michigan Ave Magazine online–a fellow native as opposed to naive, Chicagoan. A curiously passive-aggro Weight Watchers tweet?

      Add a malingering diagnosis of hoof-in-mouth disease to the queue, bunnies!

    • Blinky, Fat, Flapping Fuck - You Shitheads! says:

      Good job! Well done, dilutedsy, well done!

      Seriously, I know how difficult it is to lose weight and keep it off, so I always admire anyone who done so.

  41. Sausage Snappers says:

    OMFG did y’all see the women minstrel show on her blog that she relates to? OMFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG

    http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/2851278495

    • Donksers says:

      And just the way she wrote it on her blog brings out the brayge: “Busted! This is pretty much exactly how I think – and talk – about sports.”

      What’s with the “Busted!” That’s so typical of her to try and be hip/cute/funny but just always missing the mark in a weird way. Oh you are SO BUSTED Julia Allison!!! TeeHeeHeeHee!

      • New Year New You says:

        BUSTED HAHAHAHAHAHA! She seriously, perpetually, is like a dumbass 22 yr old frat boy.

        Because that’s how you get stupid boys to like you dontchaknow, you act like they do.

      • Scooby Don't says:

        Is that perfectly symmetrically Busted?

        Not without cutlets or boob maximizing help, Burro!

      • tots mcakez is tots says:

        Busted. That is pretty much how I think — and talk about — the donkey. Like, “That bitch is busted.”

        An no, we are not talking about the bustage region.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Donk LaRue says:

      Because all women hate sports and can’t follow them to save their lives. I love The Onion but that’s one of their weaker ones. And, of course, Donk loves it.

      • Celisse says:

        Hilarious that she relates to that clip, considering the LOL-worthy Facebook comment she wrote recently about some college football game (which I admit I know nothing about):

        “Gregg and Robert – Oh, but I am! What a close game, eh? Congratulations to both teams, but Cam and the Tigers pulled it out in the end. Incredible offense on Auburn’s side, and a skilled defensive line was Oregon’s strong suit. Good ‘ol college ball!”

        Yeah, Julie, make it more obvious that you totally didn’t write that comment, you weird freak.

        • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

          Blue Derkin already called her out …

          @juliaallison Wait – if that’s how you talk about sports, what of your ineffably nuanced dissection of the Auburn/Oregon BCS game? 29 minutes ago via web Retweeted by 1 person

        • CaptainGary says:

          Why does the above quote sound like Apu when he’s trying to sound American? “Let’s take a relaxed attitude towards work and watch the baseball match on TV. The Nye Mets are my favorite squadron.”

          It’s like what someone who isn’t quite sure what it feels like to have genuine interest in anything other than oneself but who has a a overwhelming and crushing desire to please and have people like them might sound like. Truly psychotic.

          • bitchface says:

            whenever I think of Apu I immediately think of Shirley saying “Ohhhh, Apu….” and then Chevy Chase smirking.

        • Shamoolia says:

          OH MY GOD did she really say that about the BCS national title game?!??!? The stupid….. it buuuuurns. Nothing chaps my hide like girls pretending to talk sports and coming off as ESL (I’m looking at you, Mary Rambin). “Good ‘ol college ball!” WTF? There are plenty of women who love sports and can talk coherently about it and for her to be all tee hee hee AS A WOMAN, I hate sports is just so fucking grating. Or even worse, women like Mary who just watch College Game Day and repeat everything they hear there like they’re some kind of expert. Bitch please.

          • Blinky, Fat, Flapping Fuck - You Shitheads! says:

            I can only imagine what all of the female sports reporters, columnists and TV/radio reporters would say about this.

  42. ShoppeTheFrockUp says:

    So glad to see you all, bitchezz!! 😀 I missed you!

    I love her two new posts about MARRIAGE and ENGAGEMENTS, which she claims to have stumbled upon accidentally! Um, yeah….ooook.

    “(apropos of nothing, I stumbled upon this while doing some research on Lance Armstrong – don’t ask – tonight. Found it thought-provoking.)”

    Gurl, do you really think anyone believes THAT’S how you found it?

    • Friends of Sybil says:

      Also that she found that obviousness “thought provoking” is fucking hilarious.

      She is writing her blog for Cindy these days, not Pancakes.

      She knows Cindy is watching her and that’s what’s going on here. I highly doubt Pancakes would look at that claptrap in any detail.

      • Who do you think you are? (formerly fantastic, nuanced) says:

        And god forbid she ever clue us in on what thoughts, exactly, it provokes. Like, oh, that you want to mature emotionally and are starting to understand what relationships are v. what they aren’t? That you’re realizing how your intense need for attention and adoration has gotten in the way of understanding others’ needs?

        Naw, her peanut-brain wouldn’t put that together.

        • Friends of Sybil says:

          I actually think terms like “thought provoking” are really just place holders for even the most scant appearance of depth and that no thoughts are ever provoked, as thinking would have to move the attention away from her and her needs momentarily.

          If she ever reflected on anything, ever, even once, she would shatter into a million pieces because the armature she has built to hold the deep vacuity in place would fall apart from shock.

          If she ever reflected in a self critical manner at all, everything would turn to dust from the strain.

    • itsjustme says:

      Crazy.

  43. Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

    I’m going to C&P this in its entirety, hope no one minds.

    http://nickguidodenton.tumblr.com/post/31753520/julia-allison-reliable-source
    Julia Allison, Reliable Source

    While many have expressed shock and indignation over Howard Kurtz having Julia on as a guest on Reliable Sources, I, for one, was not surprised. Myself and others have long known Julia to be a reliable source of many things, including:

    * Twaddle
    * Hypocrisy
    * Plagiarism
    * Gonorrhea
    * Deceitfulness
    * Maggots
    * Dillusion
    * Poppycock
    * Imprudence
    * Syphilis
    * Self-Absorption
    * Lying
    * Burning Urination
    * Dreadful Sex
    * Grandstanding
    * Genital Warts
    * Vapidness
    * Pubic Lice
    * Repugnance
    * Hepatitis B
    * Witlessness
    * The Clap
    * Tommyrot
    * Banality
    * Herpes

    Among other things.

  44. Good to be home.

    Question to our host- what are the ROOLZ of this new site? No direct name naming of proper names? Psuedonyms only (Jankles, etc)? No wearing of wigs+bangs (wangs)? No commenter dramaz?

    Love,
    Goodnight, Wangs

    • New Year New You says:

      How is Linus Ms Wangs?

      • He is good! Thanks for asking. It’s been a TON of work to get him up and walking again. Basically we have a toddler on hand as he re-learns to walk and gets those neurons firing again and creates new pathways from his spinal chord to his legs.

        Each day, we give him 3 15minute sessions of physical therapy, then once a week I take him to acupuncture, and he goes to the REAL dog physical therapist 1x a week, too. The biggest problem is the only dog physical therapist around here is all the way up in Ronhert Park, CA which is about an hour and a half north of SF… so totally pain in the ass all day trip for us to get up there.

        I actually changed my schedule to work night shift on the ambo so I have days free to basically take care of the dog, so it’s been a hell of a grind.

        But, we’re happy he’s doing better… each small improvement (he scratched his ear with his legs, for example, or wags his nub of a tail) is a huge victory around these parts.

        We’re hoping he’ll be up and walking like a regular dog by the end of Feb…. if not by then we’ll be considering getting him some wheels for the back legs…. but hopefully it won’t come to that! In the meantime, we’re putting in the work.

        Thanks so much for asking 🙂
        Cheers,
        Wangs

    • Donk LaRue says:

      No real rules except a suggestion that we not contact sponsors or “interfere” with her in real life at all, the way she has done to some of you. High road, cat ladies!

      I will have a couple of posts within the next two hours or so. I am currently running errands at my desk.

  45. Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

    THIS is Donkey, bringing her “A” Game to the Chicago Tribune?

    Does anyone have a problem with babies “tweeting” for themselves? Are there people who this actually offends? (Probably, but why?)

    Can’t. Wait.

    • The Manta says:

      WTF does that even mean? Does she mean parents writing tweets as if their 6 month old was doing it?

      If that’s what she means it’s gorram creepy.

      • Ineffably Adverbial says:

        Prepare to be quoted in the Chicago Tribune, Manta-bunny!!!!

      • Big Head Fraud & the Blondsters says:

        Living in her own world of make-believe, she can’t process the fact that not everyone is willing to suspend belief long enough to bear witness to all that she deems important by virtue of being OMG!pink!, so of course she thinks the world wants to read baby & puppy tweets.

        I’m not sure why Dad$er thinks that all Donkey needs at this stage in her life is someone like RepDef to muck out her stall.

    • darling mrs. melissa sue says:

      I hope she’s not implying that this offends her in some way. Lily has a twitter for goodness sake!! At least a baby has opposable thumbs!

    • Friends of Sybil says:

      Only the most extreme idiots would tweet for a baby or a dog, i.e. Julie.

      She once again shows that she has zero understanding of the world around her.

      Her stabs at relevancy are indeed as garish as everything else about her.

      Good luck keeping the writing gig, Julie. Like really, you need it.

      • DirtyLakeMichigan says:

        This!
        Here’s. The. Thing. Babies are human. As in alive with a future and eventually a past. Once you have a HUMAN in your care, you recognize that as much as you are connected, responsible, and invested in said human, you do NOT OWN THEM. What she really needs to ask is if a person isn’t able/capable to give permission, (and a baby can’t even speak), then you don’t make that decision for them.
        In this world today? Who the hell would want to put their kids ‘out there’ anyway???? Maybe I’m paranoid, but then again, I lock my vehicle’s doors in my locked garage.

    • Captain Gary says:

      Shouldn’t it read like this: Does anyone have a problem with babies tweeting “for themselves?” Are there people who this actually offends? (Probably, but why?) Because, like, there’s still tweeting going on; it’s the “for themselves” that isn’t really accurate.
      The command of the English language on this one…it burns.

  46. ShesJustStupid says:

    So, if you’re Cincy McCain, and you’re following Donkey on twitter, what do her tweets say to you? I’m trying to figure out what she thinks she’s projecting. I guess a) she’s all about “new media” b) she thinks sports are stupid (maybe Cinds does too?) c) she’s marriage ready material?

    How stressful to have to think about your “audience” in this way now. It’s like when I forget my 12-year-old niece is on my facebook and I talk about getting wasted or something.

    • Friends of Sybil says:

      Dude, her entire online presence is for Cindy now. It’s all about Cindy now. Let it unfold!

      • Donksers says:

        This.

      • ShesJustStupid says:

        Is so, the question remains…what does she think she’s projecting? Because I’m not sure engagements and wedding posts are the way to the heart of a mom whose son has had four dates with her.

        • Friends of Sybil says:

          Absolutely! As your handle indicates, this is the problem with Donkey. She is NOT smart enough to grasp that. She can only play the long game for so long. She exhausted her self command pre-announcing Pancakes was the BF.

          Those latest posts about weddings and what they mean are to show Cindy she’s not your average gold digger. Well, oops! Fail on that front, sweetie.

    • bitchface says:

      you have to be 13 to be on facebook- report her!

  47. Ineffably Adverbial says:

    Last night I dreamed we had an RBNS meetup and it turn out that half of you catladies were from my high school.

    I took too long in the bathroom getting ready and Jacy told me I was pulling a Julia. A little piece of me died. Why so cruel, dreamJacy? Why so cruel?

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