Where’s Lilly?

So the last thing we heard of the poor little fluffy white prop, Donk was hauling her yet again to another city and dumping her with yet another “friend.” This was taken on Oct. 25:

Photo Credit: Crappy Pet-Owner

 

In that photo, Lilly looks like the prospect of going through the X-ray machine might be less traumatic than having to remain the accessory for a self-absorbed donkey for the rest of her life. She’s probably already deaf from years of living with the braying so what’s a quick jaunt through the X-ray machine?

Anyway, she got dumped in New York, and since then, Donk’s been to San Francisco to suck Zuckerberg ass, to Las Vegas to dress up in a trashy costume and wander around in public wearing it, back to San Francisco to get laid, back to Chicago to vote for a right-wing conservative despite her “very liberal” political leanings, and is now back in New York for no reason at all, apparently, other than to dress badly and go to Carnegie Hall. No mention of Lilly. Is she with Lasagna? Georgie? Who knows.

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50 Responses to Where’s Lilly?

  1. Our Lady of Bray says:

    I wonder who’s sofa Donks is farting on this trip? Poor Lilly.

    • afghani facebook friend says:

      If paying 2500 rent was a problem, there’s no way she’s paying for hotels in all these places she’s staying. It has to be couch crashing. Very sad.

  2. Adderall Beget This says:

    Ah, the members of the TSA, and their penchant for wacky hijinks and devil-may-care attitudes.

    For how long did Donkunt hold up the line taking all her pictures?

    • Cupcake-the-Commenter says:

      I only pray no terrorists follow NonSociety and/or RBNS. Because if they do, they’ll surely make note of her travel schedule, then book seats on the same flight as her. When she gets to the TSA line and starts mincing around in whatever horrifying costume she’s wearing that day, posing her dog, and handing off her camera to one TSA agent to take pictures of her with the others, our enemies could easilly take advantage of the diversion and slip gallons of explosives disguised as Poland Spring right past the checkpoint.

      • Fameball Wizard says:

        I agree with everything above except substitute “Blueprint Cleanse” for “Poland Spring”

      • Adderall Beget This says:

        Moland Spring.

      • fuck camping! says:

        god damn julie albertson and those useless TSA fools for not taking shit seriously. like someone else in the comments already suggested, couldn’t she at least make herself useful with all her pointless travel and at least find osama, or something? or maybe (and this is a big maybe), julie is actually an air marshal in disguise? taking lilly on the plane is just to distract from her badge and gun… right? anybody? bueller?

  3. Fred Grott says:

    Notice the same look from Lilly as Meghan Asha in any TMI video..

  4. Prolific commenter says:

    Aw, the friends she was with last night are so much prettier than her. That must hurt her little Donkey ego. I have a vision of her stomping her hoofs in the dirt of heehawing loudly when no one looks twice at her.

  5. Disgusted by the Donkey says:

    Now she will read this and in less than 24 hours we will see a blitz of Lilly-related tweets. Her love for that poor dog always magically re-appears when people start to notice the neglect. Bah.

  6. diluted brain says:

    I wish she’d let one of us adopt Lilly. You know we’d all treat Lilly better than her.

    If you want to have some omg bicoastal lifestyle, then you should not own a pet or be rich enough to have an assistant watch and take care of it.

    • The Dopamine of Possibility says:

      Or even find a good boarding kennel! I mentioned it in a previous comment thread, but before my dog passed away, whenever I went out of town I took her to her vet that had an on-site boarding facility. And you know what? She LOVED it there! She would get to socialize with other dogs and the staff would play with her several times a day. Really, it was practically a vacation for her. I hated being away from her, but when I would hand her over to the kennel and she would just trot off without looking back at me, I knew she was perfectly happy to be there.

      The way Donks treats that dog really makes me believe that she has no soul. Hey Donks, since you never read here or anything – DOGS NEED TO STICK TO A ROUTINE. The way you cart her around the country on these meaningless trips and then dump her with people is just straight up cruel. Also, perpetually changing her surroundings isn’t too great for her either. For the love of God, PLEASE give her to someone who can properly take care of her. I will gladly volunteer myself for that job. Lilly shouldn’t have to continue being an unwilling participant in the catastrophic meltdown that is your life.

    • Donksers says:

      I admire those of you who would be willing to take Lilly off of Donkey’s hands and give her a good home. I couldn’t be that generous because there’s no way in hell I’d ever want to own something that once belonged to the repugnant Julia Allison.

  7. Disgusted by the Donkey says:

    OK, I have to rant a bit here:

    I am a frequent flyer myself (international travel), and when I go on long trips, I take my cat with me. Not because I want to put her through the stress of travel, but because she’s too attached to me (and vice versa) to be separated for more than a week. I take her as cabin baggage and the carrier fits nicely under my seat. For the most part, she’s completely OK with this. What she hates, however, is being taken out of the carrier at airports for security checks. Too many people around, too much noise, and too unfamiliar an environment. While at airports, I have seen other pets (cats and dogs alike) display similar anxiety at security checkpoints. The kindest thing to do is walk through the screener as fast as possible and put them back in their carrier/crates where they feel more secure. PUTTING YOUR ALREADY STRESSED PET IN A TRAY AND THEN WASTING TIME TAKING PICTURES?! That’s just insensitive.

    Also, taking pets as cabin baggage is horribly expensive, whether it’s a local or international flight. I have to pay no less than $250 for 1 flight for my cat. HOW on earth does Donksers manage to fly Lilly several times a month across the country?! Just the dog’s flight costs would end up being upwards of $2500 a month! This only cements my belief that all these pictures and tweets about Lilly flying with her every single time are LIES. She may have done that a few times in the past, and she keeps churning out old photos over and over again so people are fooled into thinking that she’s a very attentive and loving pet owner who would spare no expense for her dog.

    Fucking tool.

    • My nostrils are TOTALLY symmetrical! says:

      Donksers affords everything because of Dad$ers.

      • afghani facebook friend says:

        dadster, other “boys”, and her granny. she has 3 sources of income and those are the three.

    • pink pestilence says:

      I don’t know if you’ve tried this, but you should tell the TSA people to give your cat and the cage a visual inspection. I travel with a parrot occasionally, and there is no way I would open her crate to let them inspect the cage. Some agents have balked at this, but they always allow it. They look at the cage, wipe it with a test strip of some kind, and I’m on my way. I would think this is possible for any animal cage- i hope your cat can avoid being taken out in the future!

      • Morally and spiritually and LITERALLY bankrupt says:

        I have tried that, but the security staff at the airport insisted I take my cats out of their carrier the last (and only) time I flew with them. I had to beg them to let me do so in a private room, since I knew for certain that one of them would have run away.

        Sadly they had to go in the cargo hold since one of my two cats is too big for a regular cat carrier (he is a magnificent 18-pound Chartreux who regularly chases small dogs — although I have to stress he is a rescue cat who was abandoned; I did not seek out a pure-bred). I felt sick with worry about them the entire time; anyone who subjects their pet to airports, etc. “just for fun” as Julia seems to is utterly heartless.

      • pink pestilence says:

        wow so sorry to hear that! sending pets to cargo is very scary- i’m glad he made it through relatively ok. Luckily I’ve always been able to get visual inspections despite a few TSA people being stupid. I hope you have low-stress travels in the future!

      • I'm guessing it's biology says:

        A parrot! I love RBNS — who the hell are you fantastic people?!

      • Disgusted by the Donkey says:

        @pink: Really? They let you do that?! I have always encountered security personnel who insist the cat be taken out of the carrier. She absolutely hates it, and my heart breaks every time seeing her distress at those two seemingly long minutes until she’s put back in her carrier. Like Morally said, I am not sure they will allow that with cats/dogs. Perhaps they make an exception for birds…

        @Morally: I feel for you. I’d be sick with worry too, if I had to send my pet via cargo. :/

      • Adderall Beget This says:

        @Morally

        Hubby and I too own a Chartreux, also a rescue. We call her Potato (for obvious reasons).

      • pink pestilence says:

        @ Disgusted- Yeah, I’ve always been able to have someone visually inspect. Once or twice TSA has tried to tell me I have to take my bird out, but I have refused, because she would just fly away once I opened the door. I have a very simple airline-approved crate, so that might help. I would call ahead to an airport and see what their official policy is- I can’t believe that taking out distressed animals from their cage is a good idea. But maybe other airports have different (stupid) policies- I’ve only flown with my parrot between two places, and we don’t fly very often (together).

  8. Disgusted by the Donkey says:

    Oh, and BTW pets aren’t put through the X-Ray machines. You have to carry them in your arms and walk through the screeners meant for humans. If a pet is too large to be taken as cabin baggage (anything over 16 lbs), then the pet has to fly cargo, in which case the airline crew take care of the security screening at a different location.

    • Jacy says:

      I know, I was kidding. She made it clear in that post that OF COURSE LILLY WASN’T GOING THROUGH THE X-RAY MACHINE! My point was that the X-ray machine probably would have been less bothersome to the poor animal.

    • Brianna says:

      I saw a Julia-esque girl actually run her dog through one of those machines.

      I was in an adjacent line, and hear a screener kind of gasp/yelp, and a dog having a freakout, and when I turn around I can see the X-ray screen showing…doggie bones. Backbone, hips, head.

      The floofy bitch with the dog was so busy juggling her text messages, purse, poorly packed luggage and excessive jewelry to actually listen to the screener’s instructions and just tossed her dog on the belt like luggage.

      Then, when the security screener was sort of freaking out, she was like “Ha ha ha ha, I didn’t know, tee hee! Puppy got an x-ray!” No concern at all, and that dog was TERRIFIED after being shoved into a dark, noisy place and having x-rays shot at it.

      Unreal.

  9. Midget Wrestler Legs, Thundercalves, She Are Drink, Delusions of Bradshaw, Mad Yoga Skillz, Super Saggers & Creepy Daddy Issues says:

    As someone who is very allergic to dogs, the LAST fucking thing I want to do is put my belongings into a tray that’s full of her dirty dog hair & dander.

    Yes, dog obsessives, I know it’s not the dog’s fault that she’s dirty, but that doesn’t help my allergies at all.

  10. Disgusted by the Donkey says:

    Julie needs to be spayed. It’s the humane thing to do to bitches who are in heat constantly. And while we are at it, let’s also put a muzzle on her.

    • Fred Grott says:

      THIS!

    • canklasaurus says:

      While I wish the world would never be subjected to it, you know that is why she is chasing a husband. She must be engaged before she OMG expires and then start popping out crumb crunchers stat. Dadsers return on his investment is grandpa status.

  11. It's Always Shinny in Calfadelphia says:

    There’s THIS: [cropped for tl;dr brevity, btw]

    The TSA Will Have Power to Penalize “Any Person”
    […]under § 1540.109, any person who is suspected of interfering with, threatening or intimidating a screening person in the performance of their screening duties, may be penalized. The rule prohibits distracting a screener including even verbal abuse which has the effect of distracting or intimidating the screener.

    TSA Has The Power to Seek Large Monetary Civil Penalties
    […] will have the power to propose substantial monetary civil penalties. Penalties can lie against individuals and […] The amount of civil penalties that can be assessed is up to $1,000.00 per violation against individuals […] 49 U.S. Code § 147(a); 46301(a)(4).

    • canklasaurus says:

      Can I hope she gets fined and that lawyers are inevitable?

    • FIEIRCE Mani says:

      Dear Julia Allison: Please stop fucking around at airport security. There is a reason it is illegal to do and, above all, many of us do not want a distracted agent miss something. Thanks Bunny.

      PS: You are a stupid DONKEY!!

  12. ElGuapo says:

    OT, but have you catladies checked out TeeJay’s sexxxxay photoshoot?
    Kind of sad the guy needs to do that to reaffirm his self esteem. Poor sap.

  13. Donksers says:

    When Donkey says she wants to “snuggle” I make a beeline for the shower. How can a harmless word like “snuggle” turn into such vom-inducing grossness when said by Julia Allison?

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      I know. She’s gross.

      I wonder if Greasy will be making an appearance over the holidays? You know that’s her angle at this point.

      Can you imagine the guest room in the Lakeside Rehab facility?

    • ShoppeTheFrockUp says:

      Warning: imagery used that might want to make you vomit in the shower!

      Every time she mentions snuggling, I actually envision how gross that would be for “the boy”. Her shiny, makeup-caked face pressing on to his neck, her plastic sausage claws grabbing his arms, tacky nail polish chipping off onto him. Her bow legs and stanky feet entwined with his…it’s enough to make you want to hurl.

    • Donksers says:

      I do hope the snugly couple stays together for another couple of months…I’m looking forward to the holiday cray with pictures of Donkey and her boy all decked out in their Christmas costumes!

    • Jacy says:

      Yes!! I just posted that before I saw these comments. I always get completely skeeved out by those types of Tweets. Ewwww, gross Donkey. Gross.

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