Julia Allison Lacks A Incredibly Nuanced Opinion About the State of Politics Today

I know Jacy just posted but I have to chime in as I take a break from my incredibly hectic Election Day activities.

Photo Credit: Stupid Piece of Shit Who Is Begging To Be Rammed Up The Ass By a Republican

Julia Allison is an asshole.

That is all.

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168 Responses to Julia Allison Lacks A Incredibly Nuanced Opinion About the State of Politics Today

  1. fuck camping! says:

    i demand more coverage and speculation over the widestance polterwang picture.
    http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/1464698871

  2. Har-Har says:

    I’ve been voting in my pajamas since I was 18 thanks to a little thing called ABSENTEE BALLOTS. Look into it, Donkey, and maybe next time you won’t have to fly cross-country to vote for your lame ex-boss.

  3. nuanced stabbies says:

    (stroking beard, pondering deeply)

    Yes.
    Yes, I have to agree with you on that.

  4. FU Money Shorts Julianus says:

    Ha ha ha!! JP…. First the monologue, now the caption – bravo!

  5. Little Orphan Lilly says:

    I’m sorry, but anyone who is all about wearing purple as a show of support for gay teens and then votes Republican, for anything, EVER, is either a moron unable to comprehend basic logic or a soulless fucking troll. Or both. She can fuck off and die, and it is not just my election day fear/anger/resignation making me say that.

  6. someproblems says:

    <3

  7. Bicoastal Bipolar says:

    Seriously, does this B see life as simply an uninterrupted string of costume-wearing opportunities? Halloween, World Series, Election Day? Unless you’re a grade-school librarian and you’re trying to shoehorn themed reading into every time the kiddies come to sit on the carpet for Reading Time, there’s no reason to have a costume for EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. EVENT!

  8. ShesJustStupid says:

    Bets that Sweaty is a republican?

    • XX says:

      Yeah, must be. She is making a HUGE deal out of this Kirk thing when actually it’s incredibly uncool.

      • Midget Wrestler Legs, Thundercalves, She Are Drink, Delusions of Bradshaw, Mad Yoga Skillz, Super Saggers & Creepy Daddy Issues says:

        Either that, or she’s trying to show off that she has a connection to a U.S. Senator and that she’s NOT RANDOM!

  9. sgatniks says:

    does anyone know Mark Kirk’s position on DADT, gay marriage? How can Julia put herself out there as a supporter of an antigay rights candidate (if that is the case) and have a partner like TJ???

    • XX says:

      He voted against the DADT repeal, but he’s been against gay marriage bans (but I think has said he doesn’t support gay marriage).

    • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

      In 2006, he received a 75% (pro-gay rights) rating from HRC. He voted in favor of prohibiting job discrimination based on sexual orientation, voted no on constitutionally defining marriage as one man one woman, and opposed a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. So far, so good.

      However… during the current campaign, he has said he is opposed to gay marriage but in favor of civil unions. He voted AGAINST the repeal of DADT during the current session. He even claimed in a recent interview that he never met any gays while in the military.

      So, he’s a weasel. (When Kirk’s lie about being fired on in combat was exposed, he uttered the immortal defense, “I simply misremembered wrong.”)

      • Jon Favreau says:

        he never met them because glory holes don’t give you any “face to face” time.

      • Mini Driver says:

        I like to imagine that the previous comment was made by the real Jon Favreau. (Either the speechwriter or the Iron Man dude, although the former would be funnier)

  10. little birdies dress me says:

    How many damn pictures did she take with that sign?

    • Helena (Where Is Your Globe, Bitch?) says:

      Gettin her politics on, yo!

      • little birdies dress me says:

        Oh, is that what politics are? I am so uneducated. I thought it was about issues and voting and helping to effectuate change. I could have skipped the whole poll think and stood next to my neighbor’s sign in a stupid heels. Who knew?

      • Helena (Where Is Your Globe, Bitch?) says:

        Seriously, the primal question that made me crack and start posting here was: why does this person have so many pictures of herself? Then other questions followed: Who takes those pictures? Why does she post them online? Especially when so many of them are horrible?

        Then I stopped asking because every time I think of it, I feel a vein throbbing in my temple that’s ready to pop.

  11. HAHAHAHA JULIA HAHAHA says:

    Why does she need to match every fucking occasion? She gives me the brage.

  12. Russian Girl says:

    Also, her ass is the huge.

  13. little birdies dress me says:

    *thing

    • little birdies dress me says:

      comment fail. That was supposed to be in reply to myself above. What a long day! Voting is hard!

      • Helena (Where Is Your Globe, Bitch?) says:

        Pro tip: when you paint your nails in patriotic colors, your fingers type much mo betta.

      • little birdies dress me says:

        Yes, but do you vote better? Inquiring political minds want to know.

  14. Katelyn says:

    Doesn’t look like Donks is getting a job on the Hill anytime soon. According to CNN, Kirk just got crushed.

    • Donksers says:

      I really hope you’re right about that, but I just saw where the Kirk race is too close to call.

    • Learned Paw says:

      No, this race is still very close. Donk is at the Kirk rally in Wheeling right now. I’m watching local news, I bet she elbows her way onto tv for some braying by night’s end.

  15. It's Always Shinny in Calfadelphia says:

    Can we discuss this just as soon as my head stops spinning from the lunacy of Donkey advising ANYone about [1] making money off a website & [2] the technology expertise stance that she of all people (whoreizontal scrolling, yo!) takes?

    @astrologyzone – it’s time to get professionals behind your site. You should be making serious money there & Tom ain’t cutting it tech wise. half a minute ago via web in reply to astrologyzone

  16. HaHaHa says:

    I kind of like her pose there with the sign. Sexy!

    • Donksers says:

      Oh HaHaHa, Julia could be playing in a pile of dog shit and you’d think it was sexy. You’re obsessed. It’s weird.

      • mcakez says:

        I think (I hope?) Harx3 is satirical.

      • Dyspeptic2 says:

        Too funny. I love me some HaHaHa. Always good for a chuckle.

      • Donksers says:

        No, I don’t think he’s kidding around. HaHaHa has mentioned that he thinks Julia’s a nutcase but he also thinks she’s really cute and sexy.

      • mcakez says:

        @Donksers, I don’t know. It seems too overly simplistic (in the vein of her ineffably stupid facebook fans) to be real. It has to be some kind of parody. Not only that, but who comes here and really voices that kind of vapid, one-note shit for long without intentionally playing on some kind being some kind of caricature?

  17. 7 is the new 21 says:

    Randi is on ABC right now doing election coverage. . . that’s probably why Jules went back to Chicago today. Her “friends” actually have jobs they must do during the week and on election day.

  18. New Year New You says:

    Okay, politics over, back to work for the donkey, she has a job you know:

    http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid67550936001?bctid=658052136001

    Also, Little Miss Klassy…stick your boobs back in your dress.
    Show ’em to Taytay Greasyson, but we’re tired of seeing them.

    • Donksers says:

      That’s funny. She looks like a guy in that red dress.

    • for serious?? says:

      that bobby pin mullet is just ridiculous.

    • Mini Driver says:

      I like how she starts off by saying she’s finally doing a segment for men, but it morphs into a segment on women shopping for men. “Now to pick out something for my clueless brother!” God, my heart weeps for Britt.

      I wouldn’t say she looks like a dude in the red dress, but it does underscore for me that her ordinary décolletage is all smoke and mirrors. Also, I think her hair changes lengths halfway through the video — the endcap was filmed with the pelts in, the Sean segment with pelts out.

    • Sausage Snappers says:

      That thing she does with her fingertips touching and her head nods bring the brayge.

    • Sausage Snappers says:

      And can she ever just shut up? She really does think she has all the answers to everything already.

    • IBrayAnAwfulLotLately says:

      Ouch! You gotta warn me in advance if it’s a video link! I clicked and almost fell off my mobility scooter when she began to bray! Then right off the bat she said “frocks” and I had to do some emotional eating of leftover Halloween candy to calm myself back the fuck down. (And now, on twitter, she crowdsourcing for a new “shoppe”. I can feel my blood pressure rising!!)
      I want to charge up the old scooter batteries and head to LGA myself just to be there when she deplanes and tell her to STFU!!!!! STFU!!!!!
      (And what is with that bouncing and head bobbing?! Stop already, donkey, stop! You’re giving me seizures all up in here an’ all.)

    • OMG, that Sean shoppe looked so familiar in the video; then I realized that there is a branch not two blocks from my house in SF. I walk by it every day on my way to work. It seems to carry very nice (though conservative) things, and the fabrics are definitely high-quality — which is why it is such a strange juxtaposition to see a mulleted donkey in a cheap rayon schmatta braying her head off in there. I am sure the clerk-dude is performing invisible eye-rolls throughout.

  19. Donksers says:

    Even if Kirk does win, I can’t imagine the notorious layabout, Julia Allison, accepting an actual JOB, even an interesting one, handed to her on a silver platter. This is what pisses me off so much about her. Most people who are out of work would give anything to have a Dadser who was connected and could find a job for them. Not Donkey. She’s not interested in getting a job if it doesn’t involve lots of people looking at her and listening to her loud and horrific braying. And looking at her.

    • Bitch says:

      I thought her parents were hardcore Republicans, like her mom worked for Nixon or something back in the day. This is all news to me.

      But whatever, it’s called entitlement and shamelessness and parental enabling. I kind of wish this site would just disappear, because then she’d have no readers/attention and would be forced to do something else.

      • Julia's Secret Boyfriend says:

        Her family has always been hardcore Republican. She was only supporting Obama a couple of years ago because it was the “in” cool thing to do.

      • My nostrils are TOTALLY symmetrical! says:

        Oh yeah, you know she supported Obama and walked into that ballot and voted for McCain.

      • diluted brain says:

        that really annoyed me how people voted Obama because it was the cool thing to do

        agree with my nostrils – she totally voted McCain

  20. juliaspublicist says:

    Now I don’t consider myself a hardcore liberal by any means, but I have to say, I hate our country today.

    • It's Always Shinny in Calfadelphia says:

      I’m sick to my stomach over Governor Good Hair getting re-elected.

    • FU Money Shorts Julianus says:

      You hate America today? Republicans are the enemy per BHO? ha ha ha!

      In all seriousness, Dems got quite a bit of legislation through in 2 years. They should be pleased.

      That’s all with the political stuff from me. At the end of the day, we have a democracry. Any bad day in America is 100x better than any day in China, Russia, Venezuela, Cuba. America has given me so many chances… was on welfare as a kid, and through hard work, grades, did okay in NYC. And I give back.

      • Bitch says:

        Yes, Republicans are the enemies, because the joke’s on their entire constituency that isn’t in the top 2%, and also the rest of us.

      • mcakez says:

        But bitch, come on, you can’t hate them for exploiting the 98% of fucking retards in their party. I mean, come on, they are like the metaphorical equivalent of now-now-now, gimme-gimme-gimme, but all in a two second soundbite teens! You can’t blame the 28 year old guy with a nice car and a loud voice from fucking the 13 year old girl in the back seat (double entendre, what?!) She should have known better; besides, she was begging for it.

    • It’s not so much that the republicans won. I would probably consider myself a republican if they, you know, actually acted like fiscally conservative republicans and weren’t so insane about social issues. I am just really concerned with this country because of how dangerously uninformed our electorate is.

      • FU Money Shorts Julianus says:

        @JP: Appreciate the candor.

        @Bitch: Calling the Republicans who aren’t rich stupid for being Republican is interesting. Let me share: I worked construction for 2 years to earn money for college, and those ‘rednecks’, who make this country run every day, know what Republicans stand for: Protect their right to work without a union, protect their right to own a gun (and hunters are the first to protect wildlife and wetlands such as Pheasants Forever) and appreciation for strong national defense and God and country. Certain persons may scoff at those who “cling to their guns and their religion” but they are no atheists in foxholes and re the 2nd Amendment, well, that’s a whole can of worms and I am not here to change minds. My fellow Americans are not stupid, both liberal and conservative and independent.

        BTW, for you, a “liberal” to call someone an “enemy” is interesting as the House Un-American activities went after “liberals” under McCarthy and the same were branded “enemies” and thus, for decades, calling someone an “enemy” in America means you are following in McCarthy’s path, a harsh no-no. I don’t suspect you are doing that, but I wanted to clarify.

        As probably the only GOPer here, I will say this to the Dems here: You all still have the Senate and the Presidency… There’s still much Dems can do.

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        Sorry, they can cling to their guns and religion all they want.

        When they point the gun at me and drag their religion into my fucking crotch I have a real problem with it. Point the gun at your own head, thanks, and leave my cock/cunt/fetus sheltering uterus/whatever off your to-liberate list.

        And while classic Republicans practically invented conservation, Gale Fucking Norton is the current version. She’s a corporate whore. Pure and simple. Mostly simple.

      • mcakez says:

        I say this grudgingly, but AMEN to RRR.

        Also, for FU Money Shorts: don’t equate being an atheist with hiding like a bitch. That is a bullshit red herring. Besides, I take more flack, and endure more adversity, every day for my non-theistic views. To pull out the old Crusades (etc.) card, how proud can you be of militancy with millions dead in the name of God? Shouldn’t being an atheist mean you are more likely to slaughter indiscriminately, per the supposed peaceful and accepting doctrine of the ‘national religion’?

        Oh the ass-covering ability of contradictory conservative ‘patriots.’

      • DSM V: JFA Edition says:

        ya, and how is that protecting their “right” to work without a union doing for their wages? and their job security? and there are plenty of athiests in foxholes. i’ve skinned more deer than half those faux-cultural conservatives have seen in their life time, and if you vote for a party who undercuts education and health and what is left of the crumbling opportunity structure for upward mobility in this country than you are an idiot pulling your own ladder out from under yourself. and donkey.

      • FU Money says:

        @MCakez: Hidling like a bitch? Simple, and entertaining commentary. Let’s say this: No atheists in foxholes is an old saying, but perhaps your educated youth may not know the exact meaning I speak of, so, I will give you the benefit of the doubt. Hiding like a bitch, oh you crack me up 🙂 Literally, thank you.

        No MCakez, more people have NOT been killed for religions, they been killed by GOVERNMENT! Stalin, Hitlet, Pol Pot, Mao. Che Gueverra, Castro, The Kims, African genocide and The Serbian ethnic genocides. Please look at those facts.

        What Muslims, Jews and Christians have to fear is not each other, but the right of the government to limit our freedom of worship.

        @DSM: You fall to the fallacy that union jobs have protected workers.. But look what happened to Chrylers and GM – high cost jobs go overseas. Many clients, in this cost conscious world, have to pay wages, and the wages are better served in a competitive environment. Unions sound great in theory, as does communism, but in the end it all ends terribly.

        Undercuts health care? Why do more folks come to the US for health care than ever before? Hmmmmm… Yes, our health care sucks when we have people who snarf down fattening foods, drink soda pop etc… We create our own madness.

        Education? Oh that system where we pay more and more and get less and less? Would you go to the grocery and pay more and more and get less and less? No. Charter Schools help with solve some of the issues but not all. It starts at home with the parents. Education is not a function of money but of the student, the teacher and the parent.

        It just goes to show: I have not once used derogatory term in any comment, but in return have folks that go right to the euphemisms and by pass specifics.

        If you love these “progressive” policies of unions, education, atheism, why not go live in Europe immediately? I don’t want you to suffer the horrible GOPers any longer.

        You called BHO a landslide, game changer… What is tonight? Just curious.

        Still love you rascally liberals.

      • Helena (Where Is Your Globe, Bitch?) says:

        Europe has enough problems with population density and immigration as it is, FU. I really don’t think we need all the “progressive” (your term, your quote marks) Americans here, not to mention that they obviously want to stay where they are. When they want to something to change, they work and vote, they don’t run. Just like you, in fact. They are no less American than your “non-progressives.” There’s no reason they should feel the need to leave their own country just because you think their politics belong to “Europe” (my quote marks) and not to the US. After all, they won the election two years ago, remember? Wanna bet they’ll win another election sooner or later? Do you think that American righties should take the “don’t let the door hit ya” advice then? Nah, didn’t think so.

        Also, you are not the only Republican Ribnesser.

      • Helena (Where Is Your Globe, Bitch?) says:

        * want something to change. Too many “tos” in that sentence.

      • It's Always Shinny in Calfadelphia says:

        “Why do more folks come to the US for health care than ever before?”

        Because we don’t have adequate border patrol in Texas?

        You’re misguided about the industry of Medical Tourism ~ a McKinsey & Co report of ’08 shows that an estimated 60,000 to 85,000 medical tourists traveled to the USA for in-patient medical care, yes, but the same McKinsey study estimates that 750,000 American medical tourists traveled FROM the USA to other countries in ’07 (up from 500,000 in ’06).

        The USA doesn’t has no monopoly on medical advancements & health-care, & especially not when we are too often held back by political & religious inertia.

      • It's Always Shinny in Calfadelphia says:

        * meant to scratch ‘doesn’t’ in that last para

      • mcakez says:

        FU Money: I’ve taught ‘A Farewell to Arms’ enough times to understand the idea of ‘no atheists in foxholes,’ but as that book points out — that desperate call for something to save you is spurred by weakness, a desperate desire for a higher power, and is usually met with complete indifference from that ‘being.’ So, you know, pretty standard shit for people to go begging someone or something to save them from their own mistakes. Regardless, I will leave that between you and your unicorn in the sky of higher choosing.

        You list a lot of governments and or conflicts. Good for you! How many of them are driven by a fundamental belief that they were doing “The Lord’s Word”? Regardless of that, the governmental genocides of which you speak are certainly not DRIVEN by atheism. Hitler (Christian, despite those who wish to argue to the contrary), didn’t set out to say, “Let’s fuck up anyone who believes in God!” Government

      • mcakez says:

        Fucking cat hit stepped on the keyboard. My final statement, since this thread is dead, you’re incredibly patronizing, and I’ve banged my head against the wall enough today with political non-sense, is that — Government instigated warfare has far more likelihood of arising from a sense of religious entitlement than a sense of anti-religious zealotry. Try and wash it however you want, but as long as governments are seeking out to destroy the non-believers, or simply to use their constituencies belief as propaganda and justification, there is still a large faction of religious motivation behind the majority of mass-execution violence in this world.

  21. CK says:

    Why is anyone shocked she’s a republican? her friendship with the mccain girl said it all to me.
    More importantly: is that taylor greason guy her bf? he’s tagged on her FB page as of 3am yesterday. sadly he is way cute.

    • Georgetown Law says:

      Yeah, if you like big-nosed greaseballs, and she never would have looked twice his way just a couple of years ago.

      • Lily's Rage Virus says:

        He’s a Cro-Mag Hedgieand she calls him a BOY?? WTF?
        He’s taken shits that are larger than boys! Yikes.
        ( P.S.She is voting republican in an attempt to impersonate a Hedgie’s wife)

    • fat man in a little coat says:

      NOOOOO he’s actually super cute! I hate her

  22. Julia's Old Nose says:

    She continues to astound me, I love how Ms. Obama Supporter is cheering on a Kirk Senate win. I am all about voting across party lines when it makes sense, but not today. Too much at stake, especially in Illinois.

      • LLFOOLJ says:

        Line near the end of the article: “A list provided by Kirk’s Senate campaign to back up that claim illustrates how highly nuanced it was.” laaaawl.

    • Helena (Where Is Your Globe, Bitch?) says:

      People, citizens, friends: she couldn’t possibly care less about politics. It’s blindingly obvious. She has no idea what elections are for. I really wish our RBNS lefties / righties would stop with the “she’s all yours, admit it” / “nah she’s yours, you just don’t want to admit it” quarrels, because they divide us for virtually NO reason. She is a rabid Julie Albertson supporter, that is all. LITERALLY.

      • wonkeye says:

        Ding, ding, ding! If Stalin came back from the dead and made campaign promises pledging pink cupcakes on Sunday and sparkly fuschia bikes for everyone, he’d have her vote. She can’t see beyond the tip of her nose(jobs).

  23. It's Always Shinny in Calfadelphia says:

    Is Mom$er sporting a bumpit, did she get pelted?
    http://plixi.com/p/54646743

    (Mom$er is the one in solid red)

  24. JuLIAR Allison says:

    Also? She is middle-aged now.

  25. Jackie D says:

    Never met a [______] she didn’t like.

    So many possible words could go there, but I saw these pics from the “rally” and thought:

    Never met a step-and-repeat she didn’t like.

    (Also, aren’t rallies held to encourage voting? This seems like more of a poll-watching party.)

    • My nostrils are TOTALLY symmetrical! says:

      “Never met a step-and-repeat she didn’t like.”

      Haha, I said “That fucking step-and-repeat!”

  26. Crusty Romper says:

    I hate her so much right now. She doesn’t even live here!

  27. Ba Donka DONK says:

    Ok, I’m sure this is repetitive, but didn’t Momsers and Grandsers recently get beat about the head over these political yard signs? The pics seem extra tacky as a result. And I hate violence, but can you hit the donkey next time, sign haters?

  28. pretty pink pony says:

    MSNBC calling it for Kirk. Get ready for MAX BRAYAGE.

    • TwoBlondesDown says:

      I would pay money to see her move to DC and try to “work” for Kirk.

      In this dream, Belle of CapHillStyle would trip her outside the Capital. It would obviously be easy since she would only wear red, white and blue 5″ Aldo hooker heels.

  29. Natface says:

    Oh god, the latest thing about the hottie getting elected. Julia, what was that about totally almost being Obama’s speechwriter? Since you’re so intellectually serious, and all.

  30. LeaveMyCollegeAlone says:

    Shit. Now we’re going to read tweets like this: “At the University Club with The Boy, The Senator, and The Dad,”

    • Bitch says:

      And you know… the only reason she’s being all Republican now, after making a huge deal over voting for Obama two years ago probably has to do with 1) placating her parents who still support her middle-aged ass, and 2) she thinks she’ll score some rich Republican. Good luck, Jules. You’ll fit right in with these delusional morons!!

      • mcakez says:

        Yeah. I am increasingly believing the idea that someone called earlier that “the boy” is probably a Republican. Bin-go.

      • nuanced stabbies says:

        Nah, I think she just doesn’t give a fuck. All she sees is prestige, better connections, invitations, name-dropping. And, coming from a rich family, it’s not like she will ever have to worry about any the consequences of any GOP policies.

        Kirk is a total Oompa Loompa, big fan of the tanning bed. Tools of a feather…

      • mcakez says:

        nuanced stabbies — Agreed, but she is way to quick to throw on the sheep costume of anyone she desperately wants to impress — especially ‘boys’ – and I doubt she would be this gung-ho about her GOP-affil were it likely to remotely dissuade her new cash cow (OMG, if they got married she would be a Donkey Cow! Conkey? Donkow?) from putting a ring on it.

  31. pretty pink pony says:

    i wonder i dadsers’ donation went right to this step and repeat

  32. It's Always Shinny in Calfadelphia says:

    I’ve been standing in the same spot at this rally for AN HOUR in 6 in heels. Kirk will give his speech in 5 mins & NOW I really have to pee. 5 minutes ago via Echofon

    $20 says ‘same spot’ is none other than the step-n-repeat…

    • Mini Driver says:

      I HAD TO STAND UP FOR A WHOLE HOUR IN SHOES I PICKED OUT MYSELF

      LIFE IS UNBEARABLE

      • Helena (Where Is Your Globe, Bitch?) says:

        Lulz, exactly.

        Julesy, you’ll NEVER look any good in 6 in heels, EVER. Give it up before you seriously injure yourself.

    • diluted brain says:

      OMG… she has felt what it’s like to run an errand? um. er. oops. I mean work.

  33. PinkDenofIniquity says:

    So I kind of had a Donkpiphany (ugh)

    She voted for Mark Kirk because it was an EVENT and she could wear a themed outfit.
    She went to Obama’s inauguration because it was an EVENT and she could wear a themed outfit.
    She wore purple on Spirit Day because it was an EVENT and she could wear a themed outfit.
    She signed up to do the Susan Komen Breast Cancer Walk because it was an EVENT and she could wear a themed outfit.
    She is obsessed with birthdays/weddings/Halloween because it was an EVENT and she could wear a themed outfit.

    See where I’m going here?
    There’s no thought behind any of these things. Not a whiff of brain air as to the meanings, symbolism, reverence, fun. It’s a damn photo op.

    I think she has NPD: Narcissistic PARTY Disorder. Clearly, the time Momser cancelled her bday party and the little demon child set up her own party at the country club in secret (doesn’t that sound like something out of the Bad Seed?!) has had a scarring, traumatic effect on her brain and she needs to have the party portion lobotomized.

    • It's Always Shinny in Calfadelphia says:

      Excellent deduction, Dr. PDI!

      NPD: Narcissistic PARTY Disorder:
      According to Equine Chronicles, the medical term for the open-hair surgery needed by patient La Donk is a lobrayotomy, whereby symptomatic urges to don hooker heels & paw the ground w/ front hooves while squeeing over cupcakes are forever erased.

    • Helena (Where Is Your Globe, Bitch?) says:

      Very good, PDI.

      Is that a true story about the cancelled birthday party? I’ve heard some hints here before, but never really knew what that was about.

      • PinkDenofIniquity says:

        Yes, it was in some Mediabistro profile of her. I am annoyed at myself for being able to recount these kinds of things from memory, but I’ve been hating the Donk since 06. I think age 11, Momser cancelled her birthday party to punish Julia for talking back. So of course, little demon Jules planned her own party at the country club, invited all of her friends and even biked over a bakery cake (cake obsession starting early, no wonder she has gluten intolerance!). Momser started getting calls like “what time do I pick up little Timmy from Julia’s party?” which tipped her off to the nefarious plot.

        I honestly think this anecdote makes her certifiable.

      • Also, the fact that she’s so PROUD of it. She thinks she was so spunky and independent and cute. Her mindset has always been all about defiance. That’s why she can’t quit us.

  34. HAHAHAHA JULIA HAHAHA says:
  35. Mini Driver says:

    Um who is this Congressman-Elect Adam Kinzinger AND IS HE MARRIED?!? Damnnnnn. #Election2010

    It is the height of tackiness to wake up with one man and publicly drool over another that same day. Same goes for men with women, of course. You just know that if The Boy had tweeted, “Who is this Victoria’s Secret model and IS SHE MARRIED?! Damn!” his phone would ring minutes later with a shrieking, weepy donkey on the other end of the line howling about how dare he disrespect her like that.

    • New Year New You says:

      Dear Taytay Greasyson, please do this. Please post on your facialbook account “Who is this Victoria’s Secret model and IS SHE MARRIED?! Damn!”. The meltdown would last for months.

    • nuanced stabbies says:

      My thoughts, exactly. S-s-s-sabotage much, Jules?
      Oh, that’s right – she’s an abuse victim, hence the self-defeating behavior.
      Or she knew that she was wearing out her welcome w/ the boy (vom) and this was her little, “YOOO-HOOO! If you like it, you’d best put a ring on it!” fuckery. I, of course, vote the latter.

      Allure: You’re doing it rong.

    • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

      Oh, “who is this Congressman-Elect Adam Kinzinger”?

      Why he was the tea party candidate blessed by Palin in the race for the 11th District of Illinois, cupcake.

    • mcakez says:

      She is a fucking gamer. She always pulls this shit. Tries to make the other dude feel like he has competition, so he has to try harder to win her. What she doesn’t realize is that at this age it just makes her look fucking stupid and childish.

    • zandra says:

      As if him being married would stop her from chasing him.

      I wonder how the family she ruined is going these days?

  36. LLFOOLJ says:

    “Anyone watching FOXnews – I’m at the Kirk campaign HQ – you can see me in the live shot. ELECTION 2010 baby!!” – ME ME ME ME ME.

    “Dear god please let Mark Kirk declare victory now before I pass out from exhaustion. I’m not 19 anymore (when I worked on his 1st campaign)!” – ME ME ME ME ME.

    “Um who is this Congressman-Elect Adam Kinzinger AND IS HE MARRIED?!? Damnnnnn. #Election2010” – “the boy” has not sent a text or called since she left SF.

    “I just wikipedia’d him and not only is he legit hot but he was a PILOT in the air force. Political bachelor of the decade!” – “the boy” STILL hasn’t sent a text or called.

    “Um that is ridiculously amaze-ballz. @Lillydog is jealous. RT @matthew: Stuffed my dog into a pumpkin: http://yfrog.com/75d23jj” – I love my dog! (Lilly looks as depressed as that dog on a daily basis, so I’m gonna go with NO she isn’t jealous.)

    “@jessieabby – mark isn’t a d-bag. And I actually HAVE worked for him! For almost 2 years (107th congress). He’s pro-gay rights, as am I.” – ME ME ME ME ME.

    Julie Albertson – injecting herself into situations/topics in a piss-poor attempt for relevancy since the beginning of time.

    • IBrayAnAwfulLotLately says:

      Whoa. Those first two tweets are beyond pathetic.
      Julie Albertson, rainmaker.
      Hahahahahaha.
      And didn’t someone say that Randi Z was doing election coverage for Fox? If so, this comes across as a desperate Donkey bray to try to get interviewed so she can do a skirt pull and pirouette for the camera while she shares her highly nuanced observations as a dedicated campaign worker (except from 10 years ago and “dedicated”? I kid, I kid.).

    • IBrayAnAwfulLotLately says:

      Also, interesting that “the boy” stayed in bed sleeping when she left SF. Any hot hunk of catbeef that I’ve ever graced with my presence would be up at least having a coffee with me, regardless of the hour, or insisting on driving me to the airport. (Not to mention the last minute sex romp.)
      Sounds to me like he was faking it and muttering under his breath, “Leave. Just leave already.”

      • Helena (Where Is Your Globe, Bitch?) says:

        I agree, and if he stayed in bed instead of being at least polite, I sure as hell wouldn’t brag about it to the internet. But then, she regularly brags about things that normal people consider horribly embarrassing (just to be clear, I don’t think this is one of them, just mildly weird), so, you know.

        Funny that this pretty pretty princess full of sparkle who demands absolute attention all the time doesn’t seem to realize that THIS is one of the situations when “a boy” who is somewhat interested in you actually SHOULD act somewhat attentive.

      • someproblems says:

        This! We don’t drive because we live in a city, but the Catman ALWAYS escorts me to the airport and back via taxi or shuttle. Even when it means getting up at 5am / home 2am.

    • Har-Har says:

      I’m becoming convinced that she seriously thinks the only political issue anyone young/hip gives a shit about is gay marriage (also, are there other rights the US isn’t giving them? Because I’m pretty sure Kirk is anti-marriage equality).

      Donks: read a newspaper.

      • It's Always Shinny in Calfadelphia says:

        Beyond reading a newspaper, she’d do well to discern the disparity of his stances, IE: why he purports to be a supporter of LGBT issues yet wants to deny gay marriage, & ask him outright, since she has direct access to him & all.

  37. Bitchy, throughout the universe, in perpetuity says:

    Republican, Democrat aside, I wanted Mark Kirk to lose merely so that Julia wouldn’t have one more person in power to yoohoo at. Here’s hoping for an embarrassing outing? Mark Kirk playing footsie in a rest-stop bathroom with an attractive young homosexual?

  38. it’s a modern ashram, indeed says:

    For any Chicago-ans, I happened to glance at my neighbor’s Red Eye this morning on the bus and who should I see front and center in the article about Kirk but the Gaping Maw. I wonder how many people she hoofed aside to get in position. The freshwater pearls were also visible.

    • IBrayAnAwfulLotLately says:

      No! She didn’t?!!! OMFG. She did. Yes she did. The cray. It is relentless.

    • Donksers says:

      Unbelievable. Whoever posted last night that she’d find a way to elbow her way into the spotlight was right. I just got finished reading the story at Mediabistro that mentions the brat planning her own country club birthday party at age 11, referenced above) and found these two quotes especially interesting/nauseating:

      “The first camera click triggers Allison’s Pavlovian setting. Her face animates and she insists on posing too. Julia then hipchecks Rambin out of the frame’s sweet spot. She simultaneously places her right hand on her hip, tilts her head to eleven o’clock, and holds up the paper.”

      “Minutes later, Allison is seated at a first row VIP table decorated with fake flowers, gift bags, and miniature champagne bottles. The theme is prom night, which is apropos. ‘I’d wear prom dresses every day,’ says Allison. ‘That is my look. I love for people to look at me all dressed up.'”

      In case there’s a doubt in anyone’s mind that Julia Allison is a disgusting piece of crap, this article will convince you. Most people here have probably already read it, but I had not.

      http://www.mediabistro.com/articles/cache/a10131.asp

      • bitchface says:

        how FAR she has fallen (good re-read)

      • Mini Driver says:

        The Mediabistro article is actually the first link on the Blogroll list on RBNS’s index page. You should click the rest of them, Donkser. The dirt is delicious and gluten-free.

  39. Georgetown Law says:

    What did she do for Kirk’s campaign? Nothing, other than to pose in front of a campaign sign in a bright red dress while looking pregnant. Yet there she is, on what? Page 6 of Red Eye, looking as though she tirelessly was on the campaign trail. Probably right after she finished her Komen walk for breast cancer cure. No shame, no soul, just a gaping maw of need and opportunism.

  40. flatface says:

    This may have already been noted: but Mark Kirk opposes gay marriage.

    I know that JA would argue he may have other redeeming qualities, but for me, in 2010, there are a few pass/fail litmus tests: I can’t vote for someone who is against a woman’s right to choose, or for someone who is against same-sex couples’ right to enjoy the same privileges as my wife and I. Period. That is all.

    I wonder how TJ – and JA’s other gay acquaintances – feels about JA’s support of Kirk (nbot withstanding the rampant rumors that kirk himself is closeted)?

    • None Society says:

      Julia thinks that closeted means having lots of closet space.

    • It's Always Shinny in Calfadelphia says:

      Until & unless Mark Kirk facilitates the state of Illinois recognizing same-sex civil unions (performed not only in Illinois, but in other states as well), he’s anti-gay civil rights. Period.

      @jessieabby – mark isn’t a d-bag. And I actually HAVE worked for him! For almost 2 years (107th congress). He’s pro-gay rights, as am I. 8 minutes ago via Echofon in reply to jessieabby

      STFU Donkey & re-read the top paragraph. You’re of no benefit to the fight for gay rights either, you’re a joke on that front, & that’s undoubtedly why Ryan Darius gives you those hideous pelts w/ no qualms whatsoever about his name being attached to the results.

    • She gives me Shills! says:

      Love you FF!! sing it!!

  41. It's Always Shinny in Calfadelphia says:

    OT request @ JP:
    The “A” in the post title is on my last nerve
    ~ would you pls correct that to “An”? Thx.

    I’m bitchy like that ~ it’s part of my charm 🙂

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