Lest we forget, there are actually other twats with Twitters and Fancy-Group Tumblrs. Yes, Julia Allison’s insanity, insatiable need for attention and Kim Kardashian ass often tends to overshadow the sometimes hilarious displays of idiocy and vapidity that may deserve our mockery.
Let’s get started, shall we?
Katrina Bitch, Please
It’s a testament to how little we actually pay attention to the other NonSociety bloggers that none of us seemed to notice that Katrina Szish, who has limited experience identifying the questionably gay people in her life, almost died.
Brant and I had a Vespa crash Wednesday night, so I’m a little banged up and feeling quiet. Brant, the Vespa, my Marc Jacobs cocktail dress and my Valentino shoes from ShopItToMe.com emerged unscathed. My leg, not quite so lucky.
Thankfully, a great national tragedy was averted. Midwestern moms would have been at a great loss without Szish doling out her sage advice on morning television about what to buy at Old Navy for their children or “on trend” workout gear that they should wear to Curves.
Despite coming this close to getting to hang out with Alexander McQueen in heaven only to be rebuked by him for her insanely tacky footwear — and you’ve seen this man’s shoes, right? — Katrina is putting her near-death experience behind her and getting into the season by considering her choices for Halloween costumes. So far, she has come up with this:
It’s odd that Brant is considering going as Kermit, considering Kermit had a notorious sexual aversion to his vain significant other. He could just go as himself, ifyouknowwhatImean. FYI, this is the back of Brant’s Kermit costume:
Speaking of Brant. . .
The Andy Samberg Doppelgänger
Well, Brant has taken a break from lifecasting to enroll in the Derek Zoolander School For Former Male Models Who Are Completely Uninteresting to pursue his doctorate in watercress experience. Research entails making lots of salads and experimenting with infused olive oils. Expect a riveting, well articulated dissertation, that is, if he would stop procrastinating and quit wasting time cruising daddyhunt.com.
The One For Whom Canada Feels The Need To Endlessly Apologize
Lisa Diane eagerly awaits to participate in our democratic process on Election Day, despite the fact that we haven’t officially let her in yet. I can assure you that the U.S. Government has made it their top priority to find a legitimate reason to not extend her visa, because, really, now, she’s here bitching aboot our government and taking lifecasting jobs that could have gone to well-deserving Americans.
She’s gone on several rants against Carl Paladino’s comically disturbing homophobia, which I guess is admirable. Yeah, gays, and all. They deserve to register at Williams-Sonoma, too. But being critical of Paladino is about as brave as saying that Hitler was kind of an asshole. Let’s have some ineffably nuanced political discussion, Lisa.
Meanwhile, something tells me that NonSociety’s resident alien won’t be getting an invitation to the ashram anytime soon.
Alright I read [Eat, Pray, Love]. The book I said I had no interest in reading…but I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.
I strongly related to the circumstances and challenges the author, Elizabeth Gilbert, found herself in leading to her Italy, India, Bali trip. The challenges, the uncertainty, the pain.
What I just couldn’t relate to was the religious aspect of the book. I am not a religious person whatsoever, though I have certainly tried in various periods throughout my life to become one. I am not an atheist either, because I don’t want to be so conceited or self-sure to say I know for a fact there is no God(s). I sit happily in the agnostic camp, so this book lost me several times.
If you are a religious person, have a personal connection with God, etc then my review probably won’t resonate with you. But for the rest of you, the people who find it all just to be too big a leap of faith, you might find yourself agreeing.
Gilbert talks about her personal conversations with God through her own writing in a notebook. Honestly all I could think was that this poor woman was so racked with depression she became delusional. She often in this book goes into detail on how God spoke to her, how her prayers were answered etc. Personally I think that she took control of her circumstances, made positive change, and reaped the reward of that effort. That’s not God, that was her own power.
But don’t get me wrong, I did think the book was a good read. Gilbert is definitely a talented author, with the gift to make you laugh, cry and relate all in one sentence. The stories of her travels are marvelous and really remind me how much I’d love to get out and see the world more. I related to her challenges with relationships, difficulty understanding her own wants, and problems always being true to herself. I just wish she could have written a version of the book without the God stuff so that I could have really fully enjoyed it.
Bottom Line: 3 of 5. The book is incredibly well written, the imagery is beautiful and the story flows marvelously. If you are a hard core atheist you will not enjoy this book.
Gee, a person who lacks any sort of spirituality didn’t really connect with a book that is about someone’s spiritual quest. Go figure.
The One Who Was in a Production of Our Town In High School
I find Laura Hunter to be pretty.
That is all.
The One Who Took Prenatal Vitamins That One Time
In case you didn’t know, Lindsay Campbell is a mother. She has tons of pictures of her little tater tot on her blog. If you aren’t like me and aren’t creeped out by children (they can break and everything), you can look at them. Fair warning, however. You sensitive types might start feeling a little eggy. And we can’t have us Type A Haters breeding, can we?
FYI, she’s considering dressing up her spawn as a baby monkey for Halloween. It’s kind of adorable. But then again, I really like monkeys.
The One Who Dares To Consume Calories Like a Normal Person
Crystal Engorgedvajayjay is going on vacation to Argentina.
I fucking hate her right now.
NonSociety’s Resident KatzLady
Amber Katz took a break from talking about stupid lady things like face painting to post this shirt:
Ah, Amber. I don’t hate you. I just find you terribly uninteresting.
The Reason Carl Paladino Hates Us
TJ Kelly finally got to use his crusty tube of lube with someone else!
Some of you may remember my tale about Mr CupCake, some of you might not. If you dont remember please READ THIS before continuing. I need to say Mr CupCake really sent me into a tailspin. I really liked him a lot and as I stated our chemistry was undeniable. It took me a while to get over him and realize the timing wasn’t right. On the few occasions we have run into each other, its awkward. Awkward because the attraction is still there and its obvious.
Last night around 12 I receive a text from Mr CupCake, and we all know what texts after 12 are about. Soooo what did I do???? I went to meet him of course. Not only did I go, I hopped outta a car which I was in with friends heading out and into a cab to go meet him. Looking back at my actions I am a little disgusted. Desperate much??
I went to leave after the deed was done and he got puppydog eyes and asked me to stay. He said things like I’ve missed you. Why don’t we do this more? I will say waking up in his arms this morning was delightful, and I am of course right back to wedding bells and baby names. All of the was foreseen in the cab over to him, part of me even said DONT GO.
I want to see him again. I want to call him and ask him on a date. I want to say I LOVE U (haha kidding, kinda). I have lost my mind. Do I take this for what it is a bootycall?? or is it more?? Do I call him?? Do I check myself into therapy??
Eh, but we all kinda are. Sweetie, please refer to your Pink Handbook. Your future husband just wanted to drop a load while tickling your prostate. Don’t get all lesbian about it and start calling U-Haul.
Artax asked a question on Twitter. Apparently no one answered . . .
I’ve been asking this question to my favorite beauty bloggers all morning on Twitter. Have an answer? @ Reply me on Twitter @kissandtype or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
. . . so she had to resort to posing the question on her Tumblr. How much you want to bet that she still has yet to receive an answer her question, which by the way, is stupid to begin with?
Let’s just call it. The rest of them have stopped blogging for NonSociety. Meghan is in India trying to sell her leather scarves to the large Hindi consumer market. Emily Rose is, I don’t know, questioning her life decisions. And Melissa Kondak is praying to her shrine of Diane Sawyer, like Amber Atkins in Drop Dead Gorgeous.