UPDATE: Someone Likened Julia Allison as a Cool Older Sister, I Tend To Think of Her As a Slutty, Trashy Mom

Talking Shop With Julia Allison

Mediaite Julia Allison might be hard to slow down — we caught her somewhere between a train from Boston and a Chicago production of “Candide” — but thanks to Twitter and her tell-all blog, she’s not too hard to track. After getting her advice on the best veggie burger in town and shopping tips for tutu lovers, she left us weirdly pining for the glamorous, slightly know-it-all older sister we never had.

We hear you’ve moved to the West Coast?

Well, I’m technically – and happily – a nomad. After living in New York for six years, I packed up all my stuff about two months ago, put it into storage, and have been shuttling between five cities: New York, Chicago, San Francisco, LA and Boston. I stay with friends and in Chicago, my parents generously lent me their condo in the city. Despite upwards of eight flights a month, I’m spending less than half of my former monthly rent on travel costs than when I lived full time in New York.

What restaurant do you think you’ll miss most?
No question, no hesitation: Momofuku anything. David Chang is a genius. Ma Peche is my latest favorite, but the best meal I’ve had had to be at Ko. My guilty pleasure, however, is Houston’syeah, yeah, it’s Hillstone now – on 27th and Park, where I went at least once a month for six years to order what I consider to be the best veggie burger in town. It’s not trendy, but damn, it’s delicious.

Where have you had the luck finding more cute A-line party dresses than we’ve ever seen?
[Laughs] Well, I have to do something to cover up my Kim Kardashian backside, and A-line party dresses do the trick! I tend to alternate between a few shopping staples, primarily Bergdorf’s and Bloomingdale’s, supplemented with some boutiques like Roni and for special occasions and red carpet events, Rent the Runway. Lately, I’ve veered into slightly sexier, edgier territory with Herve Leger, but I’ll never give up my Betsey Johnson. Her brightly colored, be-tutu’d confections just make me happy.

Your main hair man, Ryan Darius, has been getting a lot of attention with his upcoming show on LOGO.
No one knows how to make a woman feel beautiful and confident in her hair the way Ryan does. He likes it long, full, silky. If you do one thing for yourself this year, get a color and cut by Ryan. If you’re really in the mood for a treat, try the extension line he works with, Platinum Seamless. He gave me the Platinum Seamless extensions in February to grow out a terrible cut and I never want to go back to “normal” hair again. It takes 45 minutes and uses medical grade adhesive so it stays for two months, but never damages your natural hair.

Update: This is what the interviewer wrote about Julia Allison on her blog. Her name is Rachel Raczka, and she is stupid if she actually “looks up” to Julia Allison as a writer.

So with my new gig, I’ve been able to start a really fun series called, Talking Shop, where I’ve been interviewing New York notables about their favorite places in the city. I can’t really spill the beans on all the fun people I’ve met over the past few weeks (trust me, they’re good) but we decided to launch with my feature on Julia Allison.

Love her or hate her—personally, I love her—she’s certainly made quite the name for herself in New York media and I honest-to-God look up to her as a writer (boo, hiss, whatever.) She was really sweet to work with—a bit hard to track down, girlfriend needs an agent, stat!—but overall, a very savvy young lady and I couldn’t help but feel completely flattered when I saw she linked up to the article in her blog. I’ve already gotten a bit of backlash re: the piece, but if I’ve learned anything from JA so far—all press is good press.

Rachel, please put your Sex and the City DVDs away and admire actually admirable women. That is, if you want to you know get laid, or get married or have a fulfilling or satisfying life of any sort.

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94 Responses to UPDATE: Someone Likened Julia Allison as a Cool Older Sister, I Tend To Think of Her As a Slutty, Trashy Mom

  1. sigh says:

    I can’t. Seriously. Every single time she says she has a “Kim Kardashian backside” I want to make multiple side by side photo comparisons and e-mail them to her directly and tell her to STFU.

    please, for the love of all that is holy and unholy, STFU. your ass is WIDE and rafty, not big and round.

    • Midget Wrestler Legs, Thundercalves, She Are Drink, Delusions of Bradshaw, Mad Yoga Skillz, Super Saggers & Creepy Daddy Issues says:

      Exactly. There’s a difference between a naturally curvaceous ass that looks great as the result of hard work on diet and exercise, and a big, flabby, untoned raft ass.

    • diluted brain says:

      I TOTALLY AGREE! That is the worst comparison ever. She has a hot ass and you have a flabby one. My ass is very close to KK but do I boast? No.

      • Afghani Facebook "Friend" says:

        pictures or it didnt happen.

      • Midget Wrestler Legs, Thundercalves, She Are Drink, Delusions of Bradshaw, Mad Yoga Skillz, Super Saggers & Creepy Daddy Issues says:

        Do you have a raging case of priapism, AFF? You’ve been incredibly smarmy and creepy lately.

      • Weekend at Lily's says:

        But he went to an OMG Ivy and would totally bless Julsey with his penis in her Clam dungeon if only her face didn’t send you running to the shower.

      • nosrsly says:

        “Pics or it didn’t happen” is the standard internet reply to any self-congratulatory claim like the one diluted brain made. Get off of AFF’s ass.

      • Afghani Facebook "Friend" says:

        @ nosrsly – i figured all these fellow catpeople would know the meme. several didn’t. and they also take my defense of julia’s figure to mean i have a hard-on for her. i said i like girls with her body type, minus the pelts, botox, braying, and evil. nothing wrong with that.

    • FIEIRCE Mani says:

      SING IT!! Also, wearing a Tutu that looks like an inner-tube does you NO favors Donkey.

    • Expert Gay says:

      Oh God. When will she learn that you don’t cover up a Kim Kardashian backside, you show it off? I honestly don’t think Julia has a horrible ass, but I do think she makes it worse by covering it with A-line monstrosities. She looks great in jeans, but hell if she ever wears them.

  2. darling mrs. melissa sue [drops phone] says:

    Just for the record … “medical grade adhesive” is actually just super glue. The exact same kind you buy in a tube in the checkout isle of the grocery store. Idiot.

  3. Midget Wrestler Legs, Thundercalves, She Are Drink, Delusions of Bradshaw, Mad Yoga Skillz, Super Saggers & Creepy Daddy Issues says:

    No one knows how to make a woman feel beautiful and confident in her hair the way Ryan does. He likes it long, full, silky.

    Then why did he give her such ridiculous, fake-looking pelts?

    • My nostrils are TOTALLY symmetrical! says:

      Ugh! This!! This really does give me stunned silence feelings.

      • Midget Wrestler Legs, Thundercalves, She Are Drink, Delusions of Bradshaw, Mad Yoga Skillz, Super Saggers & Creepy Daddy Issues says:

        Just drop the phone and vom in the shower, and you’ll feel better in no time.

  4. Adderall Beget This says:

    Did Rachel Raczka owe Donkey a favor?

    [Laughs]

    We caught her somewhere between a train from Boston and a Chicago production of “Candide”…

    That somewhere being a gutter.

    [Laughs]

  5. Tom Brady says:

    I feel I’ve posted this before as the resident glute connoisseur:

    Great ass = relatively small amount of fat and relatively large gluteal muscles. Distinct gluteal fold separating the buttock from the hamstrings. When viewed from the side, the butt is round and lifted. When viewed from the back, it doesn’t appear “wide” because glutes project toward the back, not out toward the sides. Look at pretty much any sprinter.

    Raft ass = lots of fat and little muscle. When viewed from the side, the lower back merges indistinctly into the ass and then the hamstrings. A mushy straight line. When viewed from the back, it’s wide. Flat and wide, hence the “raft” effect.

    • Limited Watercress Experience says:

      I love this comment. It’s a very comprehensive break down of ass types. Totally agree though, hers is the direct result of those famous Houston veggie burgers with fries, not lucky genetics and a gym membership.

    • zandra - edibles lover says:

      there’s nothing wrong with having a raft ass.. but if you do have a raft ass, stop trying to pretend you have a great ass and go on about how people always think you’re kim k when they see you from the back.

  6. SA says:

    i burst out laughing at the veggie burger mentions. she lived in NY for so many years and all she has to show for it is her 1 millionth houston’s veggie burger.

  7. Our Lady of Bray says:

    Farrrrrrk. My day is now officially fucked up and it’s only 5am.

    • Bitchy, throughout the universe, in perpetuity says:

      Heh…when I first read your comment, I thought it was “dad,” not “day.” It would be tots amazeballz if you were drinking with your father at 5 a.m.

  8. It's Always Shitty in Donkadelphia says:

    “[Platinum Seamless Extensions] … never damages your natural hair.”

    I suppose that takes Ryan Darius off the hook, so …

    WHAT? The fuck *did* screw up your natural hair?

    Mal-absorption of nutrients due to BPC juicing & vomming in the shower after all-nighters of gorging on cupcakes & Houston’s veggie burgers?

    • FU Money says:

      Indeed. Spot on.

      PS: Julia was right to freak out – nothing better than a pair of toned legs and hips.

  9. Boomerang slam says:

    I thought all momofuku dishes had meat in them. And they are famous for not being accommodating of vegetarians. So really? That’s her favorite? How the fuck so?

  10. Princess WideStance says:

    The constant KK ass comparison is particularly sad. Because she hates her lower body. Absolutely hates it. The only beauty she knows is tiny and cute.

    The ONLY thing that can make her feel somewhat comfortable about it is identifying with some media whore with a huge ass. Could she maybe go within herself to examine her issues? No chance. My ass is like Kim’s! So it’s OK!

    Idiot.

    • Afghani Facebook "Friend" says:

      Hers isnt like Kim’s. Then again, whose bum really *is* like Kim’s? Her need to reach for that over-the-top favorable comparison to justify herself truly is sad.

    • Dancing With Myself says:

      You know what? KK doesn’t hide her butt. So her stupid a-line comment? Yeah it’s stupid.

      When u have a big, and nice, booty like KK you definitely aren’t hiding under a line dresses and poofy tutus. Plus that’s literally her money maker. How much has julia’s butt made her?

      • Afghani Facebook "Friend" says:

        Call me crazy, but I think KK’s face is pretty attractive as well. It’s not like her posterior is her only selling point.

      • Disgusted by the Donkey says:

        Ah, but Julia’s butt has certainly got her a lot of press at least. Think about how many many times her head’s been in there! See? Any press is good press, even if it is by (de)merit of having her head up her ass.

  11. fuck camping! says:

    Donks = Aristotelian.

    *guffaws in shower*
    *pees pants in shower*
    *drops phone in shower, electrocutes self*

  12. Dr. Gary says:

    “He gave me the Platinum Seamless extensions in February to grow out a terrible cut ”

    So who gave her the ‘terrible cut’? Ted Gibson? Or did he stop giving her freebies so she has to diss him now?

    Way to burn yet ANOTHER bridge stupid Julie. God. You are so dumb. You are really dumb. Fo’ real.

  13. Dr. Gary says:

    OH. HELL. NO.

    “The camera relieves us of the burden of memory. It surveys us like God, and it surveys for us. Yet no other god has been so cynical, for the camera records in order to forget.”

    – John Berger

    She is NOT quoting John Berger now. I think this is from Ways of Seeing. Who the fuck is she trying to impress? Jesus FUCK.

  14. JuLIAR Allison says:

    “I never want to go back to “normal” hair again” … except that she has.

    Way to build trust and sincerity, Jules.

  15. Brianna says:

    What got me was ‘tell all blog’. What blog are they reading? All I see are endless random pictures of disjointed and meaningless outings, badly photographed meals and pictures lifted from professional photographers without credit, with such literary captions as ‘love’ and ‘amaze balls!’.

    If that is tell all, her life is much sadder than even we thought!

  16. fuck camping! says:

    wasn’t it just a few days ago that LaDonk was saying she could never buy a non-Apple tech product? and here we go, shilling for Sony again.
    http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/1315730685

  17. It's Always Shitty in Donkadelphia says:

    “In other words, need a job? 1) LEARN HOW TO CODE 2) MOVE TO SF”
    half a minute ago via web

    WTF?

    • fuck camping! says:

      she has once again, it seems, misunderstood the article she links to in her previous tweet.

    • Ridonkulous says:

      That’s her comment on the Gogaom article about the Silicon Valley talent crunch linked in the previous tweet. She’s back to trying to convice the world she’s a tuned-in technoid today.

      But earlier, she was “wrapping meetings” with a production company, launching secret writing projects and running around Hollywoodland like a bit player in “Entourage.” (I guess Carrie Bradshaw is so, like, over!) She certainly seems to be trying really, really hard to impress someone. The boy? Us?

    • JuLIAR Allison says:

      Except in Julie’s world “job hunting” goes like this: 1) Dress slutty 2) Trawl tech conferences for husband 3) FAIL.

  18. Fred Grott says:

    okay new phrase..

    RAFT THAT ASS!

  19. Julia's Fat Ass says:

    So…the hair in that photo is silky and gorgeous? Okay.

  20. Disgusted by the Donkey says:

    She’s SUCH a tool, claiming to shop at Bergdorf, where a single T-shirt costs upward of $500. But then again, it’s probably funded by Momsers and Dadsers, or one of the rich Donkey fuckers.

    Also? Momofuku Ko? Oh really? Strange, considering she’s a vegetarian and all. KO is not only one of the most exclusive and expensive restaurants in the city, but they also never divulge the menu. You pay through the nose to get a multi-course meal, all of which is pre-selected by the chef. You basically have no idea what you’ll get, but I guarantee at least 80% of that will NOT be vegetarian.

    Gawd, I can’t stand her.

    • Afghani Facebook "Friend" says:

      she’s been to momofuku ku once and ma pache once, right?

      yet they’re her favorites. what an idiot.

  21. Belle says:

    IF SATC is your inspiration for a writing career, shouldn’t you admire millionaire, self-made woman Candace Bushnell and not her low-rent, Forever 21 wearing, Daddy’s wallet leeching imitator who can’t even keep a job as a freelancer for a channel that broadcasts in taxi cabs?

    Come on. This is like when people say they admire strong women in politics and then look up to Sarah Palin instead of Margaret Thatcher. It’s about confusing attention with accomplishment and then choosing the famewhore over the woman of substance.

    I weep for the next generation of women. Too many of them seem unable to differentiate between the appearance of success and real success.

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