I’m Convinced Julia Is Flying Across the Country Just to See Herself on a Tiny TV

58
45

I just booked seven (7) flights. ORD – LGA, LGA – ORD, ORD – SFO, SFO – LAX, LAX – ORD, NYC – SFO, SFO – NYC. I feel like a travel agent.

NY, Chicago, Boston, SF & LA are lovely cities, but lord, I really need to try some new destinations in 2011.

Lord, she gloats like this is impressive. Anyway, her upcoming travels inspired this:

58 COMMENTS

    • Agreed. JP should have his own show of photo illustrations in a fancy museum. We can all go to the opening celebration, sip champagne and say douchey things like, “what IS art??”

  1. If I could photoshop in any capacity I’d love to do a “Pelts on a Plane” poster.

    All this travelling is just running to stand still.

  2. I really don’t understand WHY these 7 flights are necessary. Why even “live” in the omg downtown condo if you’re never there? Pick a fucking city, it’s not like you have a job that requires extensive traveling.

    • It’s fucking insane. This manic traveling bothers me the most out of anything she’s done recently. It’s a huge clue that she’s certifiable.

      Doesn’t she get sick of being scrunched up in coach, going through security, waiting for flights, delays, dealing with airports, etc.? Most “important” people try to minimize unnecessary travel.

      • She has no life, so the manic traveling gives her the illusion of structure. Have to be at the airport, have to go through these routines (check in, security, etc.). She’s ‘keeping herself busy’ as to avoid the reality of her shiftless existence.

        Sad.com

      • No, because the inconvenience of it all also lets her know she is oh-so-important, and gives her something to talk/complain about.

        “Oooh, my life is so busy! You wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had! They lost my bag, but I got a free drink, but I don’t drink tee hee, so now the altitude has made me tipsy! Here, listen to me complain about the security process and make uninformed comments about the government and my opinions on it! This airport is ineffably amazing, bunnies! I got a pedicure while waiting for my flight but my toes weren’t dry so I missed it, tee hee er um oops?! So I complained and got an upgrade, here’s how you can be an insufferable bitch and get the same thing! Servicey!”

      • Most “important” people try to minimize unnecessary travel.
        —————–

        Correct. Julia, as usual, has it ass-backwards. Traveling all over is NOT a sign of prestige or success. Traveling only when big money or big events are on the line is the real hallmark of successful people.

      • it could happen, esp. if she ever went on the Pill. (sex=ewww!+ cry)
        Plus it will further deteriorate her fkd-up skin with the 5% humidity.!!

      • she should have been a flight attendant. she could fly anywhere for free and could have had a career to boot.

      • The only problem with becoming a flight attendant is she’d have to look after other people’s needs.
        Donkey don’t play that.

    • I thinking running away from her life/problems is probably one of the most normal and understandable aspects of her psyche, actually.

      • credited. most people don’t literally fly all over to distract themselves from their life problems, but many people do indulge in repetitive, self defeating, and pointless behaviors. in fact, most people do this. they just don’t spend years doing it, to the exclusion of trying new things, moving on, and not ruining themselves.

  3. Does she ever say WHY she keeps flying to these boring domestic hubs? Those “friends” have got to get tired of her crashing with them and I sort of get the idea she just visits these places to go on dates with random internet strangers. Gross. She could take one really amazing international trip instead of all this pointless carbon burning.

    She’s not multi citied, bi coastal or any of the other things she likes to call herself to sound glamorous. She’s a bum and a mooch. Wonder if she also takes advantage of her friend’s laundry rooms while she’s crashing on their couch and gobbling up their food? You know that suitcase has got to get rank after nonstop bumming.

      • I take it back, then. She IS spending a stupid amount of money flying around for nothing. And she should go somewhere else. Of course, this presents the problem of where to stay. She can’t go international because she doesn’t have anyone to mooch off of. And I guess all her “friends” live in Boston, NYC, LA and SF.

        Weird.

        Does jetblue fly to New Orleans? Maybe she can go crash with RBillow?

      • @shesjuststupid — word is, rbillow doesn’t want much to do with Donkey these days. after donkey hit on her bf and didn’t attend the Komen walk and all…

    • She has “meetings” of course! I’m sure she has some very important “meetings” that will never amount to anything.

  4. So she’s dumping how many tonnes of carbon in the atmosphere this time around? TICKING CLOCK GLOBAL WARMING OXFAM HELLO!?!?

  5. she can stay away from SF. No one here likes you – Oh, right. OMG RANDI! BFFs!

    Julia, you have a dog. A dog is responsibility. Flying around the country to be couch-suring and “tee hee OMG look at me i’m so cute” is laughable.

    Get a fucking job already.

  6. So she’s coming back to nyc to go to some life coaching presentation, right? When is she leaving? I’m not happy with how that list ends with “SFO – NYC”

  7. Great work! This only makes sense if you know that her horrible ads play on the seatbacks. This reminds me of that South Park episode “I see dead celebrities” where purgatory is having to sit on a plane waiting to take off with no indication of WHEN it will take off. If you were also forced to watch loops JABBA ads I’d request Hell instead.

    So at all these uh, meetings she is apparently going to, do they all start with “So YOU are that person that turned down an appearance on Oprah, right? Bwhahaahhaha”

      • oh niiiiiiiice. My illusions are shattered. I thought Twitter was ~different~ sob sob

      • ALL of them are circle jerks.

        The funniest – (!!!) though is when a REAL Celebs get intertwined in technology. You’ll see venture capitalists worth millions or bit technames like Don Dodge falling all over themselves OMG Kuchter or OMG Chamillionaire (whatever) or OMG Hammertime.

        It’s embarassing (for them).

      • nope, twitter is over. going to be commercialized crap like the rest of them. fb, twitter, etc… all suck a fat dick nowadays.

      • The only social network-y kind of thing I ever joined was Pownce. A Kevin Rose thing actually, Wikipedia informs me now. You savvy guys probably know about this thing.
        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pownce

        I got there back in 2007 when it was supposed to be totally elitist. That is, I got an invitation from a gentleman caller and he made it sound very elite, anyway. But, as we all know now, that bubble burst pretty quick. Can’t say I miss it.

  8. I swear she has said this exact same thing before:

    “NY, Chicago, Boston, SF & LA are lovely cities, but lord, I really need to try some new destinations in 2011.”

    Although it’s certainly possible it just feels that way. Watching her is like watching a hamster on a wheel. Now I’m depressed.

    • Especially since she fucked up the codes for Boston haha. LGA is Laguardia, not Logan, and NYC doesn’t exist…ohh lord.

      • She’s so fucking dumb, I really hope she tried (and succeeded) at booking her flights that way, because that would mean she’d miss my city (Boston) entirely…though who knows, a JA sighting might be just what I need to shake up (read: traumatize) my routine (read: me).

    • LAWL. I was wondering about that, because I might have only been twice to the US, but I’m fairly sure the airport I arrived to in New York wasn’t referred to as “NYC” but “JFK,”and I’ve heard of Logan in Boston as well.

  9. Is she flying Jetblue the whole time? I think she wants to find a guy to strike up a conversation when her “segments” run during the flight. HEHE LOOK AT ME! THAT’S MEE! You know she watches them each and every time.

  10. What a boring life. Fly to a city, drive to ‘hood that was hip 10 years ago, eat 2000 calorie meal. Rinse repeat. Go look at some art or stay home and cook yourself a meal. Ugh, donkey is such a lame hick.

  11. She tries hard to make it sound like she’s an in-demand business traveller. Seven cities OMG my life is crazy!! Uh, yes, it is..crazy, but not in the way you mean.

    Does she have a single gig lined up in any of these seven cities that will actually pay her cash money? No, “meetings” don’t count. All this manic flying around the country- for what? Expensive and a net loss for Daddy. You’re not an author on a book tour dear, no one wants to buy whatever it is you are trying to sell.

    And here’s what kills me about her, speaking of books- considering the book market is flooded with unbelievably stupid shit, how is it that she hasn’t been able to snag a book deal for her drivel after all these years? It’s a no-brainer, and I mean that literally- with all her contacts and love of giving out terrible advice, it’s a mystery to me. Maybe she missed the window of opportunity. As awful as she is, she has a “platform” of sorts, which editors love for nonfiction. And for someone with such a Scary Sadshaw fixation, she should have put out some piece of shit book with a big font, big wide margins and lots of blank pages years ago.

    What’s up with that? Can she not concentrate on a book, or did she alienate people in publishing, or just not finesse it right? She sems ideal to write a really really shitty book filled with bad advice. Couldn’t be worse than the dreck that’s out there now. Hm, weird is all.

    • next up, OMG bunnies she’s applying for an MFA in creative writing!
      also, as a serious bidness lady tech founder, why can’t she just use skype or do a conference call for her ‘meetings’?
      #DadsersLittleDeficitMachine

Comments are closed.