RBNS QOTD: Are You Enjoying a Donkey-Free Internet As Much As I Am?

It’s seriously wonderful. But seeing as Julia has to pretend that she’s not desperately checking her Google Alerts in between asanas, I think now would be a wonderful time for Jordan to spill. . . .

Just a suggestion.

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82 Responses to RBNS QOTD: Are You Enjoying a Donkey-Free Internet As Much As I Am?

  1. Andy Wintour Hacks (up a furball) says:

    Hold on, did the new girl Laura just do a sponsored post by Netflix?

    Someone please slap me to wake up. I must be having a nightmare that anyone would actually pay these girls.

    • Eight Dollar Grapefruit says:

      ya, sponsored insofar as she has a socialspark.com account. anyone can get paid to do shill posts. it’s just that you’re not paid that much. we’re talking dozens, not thousands, of dollars.

      • Andy Wintour Hacks (up a furball) says:

        Oh thank you, EDG, for saving me from that dark and lonely place. I feel better now.

    • fuck camping! says:

      haha (quoting melissa kondak). but seriously, when i saw that post earlier today, there was no mention of sponsorship or netflix logo. is there some superfast automated way they get these posts sponsored after the fact?

  2. fuck camping! says:

    that donkey is too cute. i hope it’s not dead.

  3. zandra says:

    to be honest, no.
    it’s great having an entertainment form all day to read.. though as i’m in a different hemisphere it’s usually catching up on the crazy thats’s fun.
    it seems ass though this community is more enthralled with le donk, hence nore posts, than the other ns gals which means less interaction witth the funny bitches of this site. xoxo love all of you!!

    • zandra says:

      freudian slip? totes meant to say ‘as’ not ‘ass’
      love all you darling bunnies

    • Darling ♪ ♫ Stalker is the new ♪ ♫ Fat k'donk k'donk says:

      I agreeeeeeeeeeeeeee

    • KrakenSkulls says:

      I agree! No Donk = no lulz. I could care less about the other 1-dimensional girls, except Masha, who’s official bio I read yesterday and every sentence was hilarious.

  4. Julia's Gaping Maw of Death says:

    I hope she stays there forever. If I never have to hear her braying and pretending that she’s a real New Yorker (and making the rest of us look really bad to foreigners and other clueless types), I’ll be happy.

    When Donkey was at her peak both in terms of looks and “career,” she was a brutal bitch to others, especially behind the backs of nice girls who were chubby or just not as hot as she thinks should be hanging around her. That’s why I don’t mind pointing out what a chunkster she has become.

    • wtf? says:

      If she’s a chunkster, I better not wear white because I may get harpooned when swimming one of these days. 😉

      • Julia's Gaping Maw of Death says:

        Perhaps you should work on your body issues off the internet. Sort of like how Julia should do with so many of her issues.

    • wtf? says:

      The only body issues I have deal with a society that finds a woman who looks like Julia a “chunkster.” Reprehensible, amoral, psychopathic she-beast she may be, chubby ain’t one of her problems.

      • Julia's Gaping Maw of Death says:

        She IS flabby (and chubby and chunky). I never said fat. But she is NOT thin.

        Just because she’s smaller than Rosie O’Donnell doesn’t make her small.

      • XX says:

        It’s funny you say wtf? is the one with the body issues.

    • I will say that while certainly Julia has a weirdly proportioned body, she is by no means fat. I’m all for body snark when Julia brings out her body image issues, but these comments as of late have gotten tiresome. We get it. You think she’s fat.

      • wtf? says:

        sorry if i’m piling on, JP. anyways, back to the haterade!

        will there seriously be a betting pool on when she quits the ashram? I’m giving her another 48 hours, FWIW.

      • Julia's Gaping Maw of Death says:

        Uh, no. I have not said that she’s fat, just not thin, and certainly not “very thin,” as someone recently insisted.

        I am generally against body snarking, but considering what a nasty bitch Donkey was a mere few years ago – when she was at her hottest (physically and fame-wise) – to young women who were chubby, chunky or even downright fat, I consider it well-earned payback.

        She was a total snob about how people look, and now she looks like someone that the Donkey of a few years ago would snub and then mock as soon as she was (almost) out of earshot.

        She hurt and insulted people whose only crime was to not be as “hot” as Donkey thought they should be in order to be in her presence.

      • Jacy says:

        I don’t know. Chunkster doesn’t mean fat? Just not thin?

        In any event, I don’t get too bent out of shape when people rag on her weight because SHE rags on her weight and totally judges women by how “tiny and cute” they are, but the chick is not fat, not a chunkster, not even “not thin.”

        There is so much more that deserves contempt and the people who come on here and claim she’s actually a size 12 and weighs 155 pounds are living in some strange, alternate reality.

      • FaFail Waldorf says:

        I totally read the dropped panties used as a fashion week tent jab as meaning “not fat, just not thin,” I don’t know about everyone else.

        Obviously she’s not fat. Yes, obviously. Yes, I’ve seen her in person. This doesn’t mean I think she’s thin, or hot, but she’s not fat. “Untoned” just is never going to translate to “chunky” for me, considering the majority of my friends are untoned 2s and 4s.

      • Julia's Gaping Maw of Death says:

        And Julia is nowhere near being a 2 or 4. The size 8 A/X jeans that tried on in that shill video were too tight and didn’t even look like a “good tight” on her.

        If she really were as thin (very thin!) as some here insist, why does she always edit the shit out of her photos, especially slimming herself? How does she stay so thin and perfect when she crams the crappiest food down her gaping piehole on a regular basis and not only doesn’t exercise, but takes cabs for trips that most people would just walk?

        She was once fairly thin. Not so anymore. I think of it as a karmic payback for how vicious she used to be to those she deemed as not thin and cute enough to hang with her.

      • LickedRandi'sCake says:

        Really, JP. Agreed.

        The problem is that it’s soooooo tiresome at this point. JGMoD says it ad nauseum and seems to have nothing else to contribute. Saying the same thing, making the same points over and over again. We get it. Forever more, every time I see a comment from you, I will know that you are the one who thinks Julia if flabby, chunky, chubby and untoned. Your input on this subject has been burned in to my brain.

        It def seems, though, like JGMoD may have personal experience and a huge grudge and fancies her/himself as being a Master Debater. Maybe a fatty her/himself and been personally snubbed by her.

        If so, please give us actual, interesting details of your personal experience. That, I’d actually want to read. If not, then might I suggest you change your handle to “Julia’s Chunky, Flabby, Untoned, Size 16 A/X Jeans” or, better yet, start a “Julia Is Not Fat, But She Is Also Not Thin” blog and let everyone here get back to the funny?

        I’m sorry, this is just annoying as shit at this point.

      • Julia's Gaping Maw of Death says:

        Sorry, Licked, but I’m not fat and I haven’t been snubbed by Donkey. Then again, she was never all that interested in me, because I saw her for what she is from the get-go and never let her believe that I could be of any use to her. But I have observed her snickering right after meeting some fangirl types, barely waiting until they were out of earshot before mocking them. I’m pretty sure this has been noted elsewhere. Maybe the Baugher blogger’s tipsters?

        I don’t know Julia, as I pegged her from the very start and consciously avoided having any interactions with her. And now that she isn’t invited anywhere, I don’t need to quickly scan rooms for her anymore.

        I sincerely didn’t mean to get into your head like that, only to torment Donkey for what she has done to others. I don’t like bullies, especially bitchy ones. She was appalled that at least some of her fans were unattractive, uncool or just heavy, and now she’s not nearly as hot looking as she was then, so I just wanted to rub it in and let her know how it must have felt for some of those girls who heard what she said or saw the looks on her face.

        Tell you what: I’ll lay off this if people stop insisting that she’s thin, tiny, and the like.

      • LickedRandi'sCake says:

        Believe it or not, I actually understand where you are coming from. I kind of got the feeling that you’d had some personal experience with her and I guess I’d rather the focus be on those experiences than on the arguing with everyone else here about whether or not she is actually fat. If that makes any sense.

        I mean, I’d like to hear specifics about what she said about other people. That way, the focus can be on what a heinous person she is because, in my mind, that’s the bigger (no pun intended) issue.

        But I get your point about rubbing it in. It’s like calling her a donkey when everyone knows that she hates it. It’s a nice way to give a dig back to someone who isn’t very nice. Thing is, everybody here agrees on her being a donkey and so it isn’t such a back and forth, infighting kind of thing.

        For what it’s worth, I do commend you for sticking it to her in honor and defense of the not so perfect (but probably infinitely nicer) girls.

      • Julia's Gaping Maw of Death says:

        I don’t remember exactly what she said, but it was along the lines of OMG! I can’t believe that my fans wouldn’t look better than that/know how to dress (oh the irony!)/be so big.

        Typical of Donkey, she never waited long enough (at least the very few times I witnessed this) for them to get far enough away before unloading. And I guess my maternal instincts kicked in because it hurt me to see the hurt on the faces of girls who did nothing wrong other than read the blog of an asshole and believe that she was their friend, or at least wouldn’t be a total bitch to them. Yes, they were all young, naive, not very stylish and new to the city (as if any savvy city girls would think she and her hick tastes are happenin’!), but they didn’t deserve to be treated like that.

      • kenneth parcell's donkey fit says:

        here’s the thing! here’s the thing!

        IT’S OKAY TO BE FAT.

        i don’t think julia is. but if she were, it would be okay!!!!! you people need to check out some kate harding/fat acceptance stuff. people come in all shapes and sizes, and that is effing okay! for all the “fat is bad for you, fatties are all going to die” garbage out there, there are studies that show that many conditions associated with obesity can be attributing to yo-yo dieting, not bodyfat! there are healthy fat people and unhealthy thin people!

        in other words, FAT /= HEALTH, OKAY PEOPLE!?!?
        it’s true.

      • wtf? says:

        kp – you’ve nailed exactly what i find gross and hair-raising about the fat commentary, although i do appreciate your explanation of giving it back to JA karmically, JGMOD.

      • Julia's Gaping Maw of Death says:

        Yes, KPDF, obese is healthy, up is down, black is white. Got it.

        Then again, nobody here was discussing the very real health issues associated with obesity (high cholesterol, diabetes, significantly increased risks of heart disease and breast cancer, etc.), or even trying to claim that Donkey is obese. But you had to insert your “fat acceptance” agenda in here anyway.

      • FaFail Waldorf says:

        Nope, can’t accept it that far, KPDF. I don’t think it’s okay to malign fatties as subhuman races or anything, but I also don’t think it’s something that should be embraced and accepted to the point that it’s encouraged as a normal, healthy thing (I feel the same way about people who are too thin).

        My problem with JGMoD’s recent comment torrent has been that Julia is NOT fat (also not super thin, hot, etc, JGMoD, I hear you!) and I don’t like perpetuating the image of average (if untoned, “flabby”) sized women as being fat, when for sure there are girls out there a size or two up from JAB who are in spectacular shape.

        Also appreciate the insight into your motivation, JGMoD.

      • Yeah! Peace, dialog! Now can we all agree that Julia has some seriously messed up legs?

  5. LT from NYC says:

    I am not enjoying the donkey-free interwebz. La Donk is such an ineffable(!) source of entertainment — No, strike that, she’s NOT entertaining, (although she thinks she is), it’s all the basement-dwelling cat-lady haterz that make me lol on a daily basis.

    Thank you, Darling Bunnies!

  6. I'll be at the ashram says:

    There is some sort of conspiracy of timing. I was jazzed to arrive in New York for a variety of reasons, and I’m not ashamed to admit that low-but-present on that list was, “No possibility of running into Julia Allison.”

    This morning I’m in the cab from JFK and what do my tired eyes see on the little screen in front of me? Is that…is that motherfucking Julia Allison, screaming her face off about cupcakes in some nonsensical Bing.com tie-in? It appears to be. I mean, yes, I’m jet-lagged, but holy mother of god, there she is! Shots of Fake hair flying stiffly around her face, people on screen near her cringing and angling their bodies as far away from her as possible, topped off with a close-up of her horrible fake claws covered in zombie-flesh-lilac paint clacking away at a handheld device.

    What the hell? This makes me hate both cupcakes AND Bing.com. I wasn’t going to start drinking this early, but maybe this is a sign from God.

  7. Julia's Old Nose says:

    I love the sleepy baby donkey picture so much. It warmed my heart!

    • Scammy wow says:

      Actually, this is not an uncommon opinion. The incident itself, while reprehensible, doesn’t correlate to the way in which someone looks at the aesthetics of it. I don’t think she is commenting on the incident itself, but the portrayal in pictures.

      This is the only example I can think of right now, but I remember seeing a Felicity episode where a fire broke out and while fighting the blaze, it begins to snow and she comments on how the snow is pink (the fire playing off the snow) and how the city can sometimes be so beautiful.

    • Scammy wow says:

      Perhaps breathtaking is a better word than beautiful?

      • Julia's Gaping Maw of Death says:

        Yes. Too bad the Columbia grad couldn’t come up with that.

    • partypants says:

      OT, but wtf is an ‘insatiable journalist’? Where do they get these niche title ideas from?

      • Scammy wow says:

        I’ll give you that. It should be called “nuance society,” not “nonsociety.”

      • Julia's Gaping Maw of Death says:

        Scammy, I first read that as Nuisance Society. And I think it fits.

    • Donk Juan deMarco says:

      And I quote: “Photography just blow my minds”

      • Scammy wow says:

        I read that about 3 times and was hoping it was some sort of personal colloquialism and then I thought of the “company” and decided against giving her the benefit of the doubt. For people who love to “write,” they forget a crucial part of the writing process: editing.

      • PinkDenofIniquity says:

        UGH, I guess they have a pretty lax admissions criteria at Columbia!

      • Scammy wow says:

        She might have read this because she just changed it to, “Photography just blow my mind.”

        sigh.

        Photography – singular noun

        Take a memo, Melissa.

      • fuck camping! says:

        that’s hilarious. and then she changed it! like she realized there’s something wrong with it, but the change she made didn’t correct anything, it just made it seem even more lulzy that she changed something and didn’t get it right.

        this is right up there with the best of the meghanisms. “Photography just blow my minds”

      • You people must not have a knack for vernac.

      • fuck camping! says:

        Beauty blogs be just as entertaining as they are informative.”

    • princesspookiepants says:

      It’s deleted. I guess someone told her it was’t beautiful… or read it here.

      • fuck camping! says:

        wow. taking her cue from respected “journalist” julia allison, she has deleted the last few posts. also, her twitter informs me melissa is “feeling nauseous”. i think we may have had this very conversation on RBNS, but the correct term is “nauseated”. 😉

      • New Year New You says:

        I just noticed that too. Look Mel Donk I wouldn’t worry, clearly you’re not cut out for journalism as you can’t spell or write ha ha it blow my minds how much you can’t ha ha

        Anyways, not to worry this means you’ll fit right in with the NS gals ha ha

        Thankfully K Sheesh is still bringing the A Game content, and has posted more photos of her shoes.

      • fuck camping! says:

        Ye Old Ladies* of None Such Society:

        (1) Julie Albertson, sad clown and ringmaster of Living Differently, which by the way is not a business and she looks fine at 138.

        (2) “Money Shot” Asha, ESL and Roomba esquire, owner of gay cat, provider of Davos coverage, trust funder and “geekette”.

        (3) Rambo, former maker of testicle pouches, nomadic moocher of Mexican beachfront property, exercise maniac and butt-juice shiller, “founder and publisher” of now-shuttered “lifestyle magazine”.

        (4) Jordorable Reidkow Ramshakalakaboomboom, entitled whiner, owner of puppymill dogs, failed actress and shitty cook, “I don’t have a trust fund”, tattooed Ivy Leaguer, OMG married.

        (5) Katrina Sheesh, actual accomplished woman, pretty, blonde, married, Harvard, etc. etc. etc.

        (6) Amber Katzlady, gets free makeup and has a knack for vernac.

        (7) Laura Hunter, innocuous redhead actress wanna-be who didn’t graduate “Tish” [sic].

        (8) Melissa Kondak, “Photography blow my minds haha”.

        Did I miss anyone?

        *Expiration date approaching

      • New Year New You says:

        I think you were too kind to K Sheesh, please add “obsessed with own feet”, unable to walk anywhere.

        You forgot Lasagna who cleans the NS offices, and Lilly the CEO.

      • fuck camping! says:

        amendment:

        (5) Katrina Sheesh, insists stripper shoes are comfortable, joined the failboat that is NS.

        (9) Megan Lasagna, 30+ year-old who lives in Lawn Guyland with parents, apparently COO of NonSociety, primary function is to puppysit Lilly, concedes that Julia is “a special individual… [who] needs a special amount of love.”

        (10) Lilly [sic], six-year-old shih tzu with a deathwish, Julia’s “business partner”, took a dump in the tumblr office, took Fashion Week by storm, licks walls.

      • Andy Wintour Hacks (up a furball) says:

        You must add Sheesh’s self-portrait OCD. And you only mentioned Harvard once.

      • KrakenSkulls says:

        @fuck camping!
        So many lols… Put it on the wiki!

    • neverbotoxed says:

      It looks like she took the post down?

  8. That baby donkey is inexplicably, indefatigably, inexorably … darling.

  9. Jessica says:

    I wonder how Melissa feels (or if she even knows) that right now that basically all of the traffic coming to her site is haters/from RBNS. I’d really like to see the numbers between now, and when she officially launches on their homepage

    • Julia's Gaping Maw of Death says:

      Didn’t Megtard warn her?

      • Andy Wintour Hacks (up a furball) says:

        Meghtard can’t read, so I doubt she even knows.

        Ever wonder why she only does videos?

      • Eight Dollar Grapefruit says:

        andy hit the nail on the head… i doubt meghan reads here, not bc she is “above it”, but mostly bc she can barely read.

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