UPDATED: Um. . . Err. . . Oops. . .

Hmmm, chord struck?

🙁

I’m thinking of taking a social media hiatus for the next few weeks. Clear my head a bit.

UPDATE: But not until she blogs a little bit more. . .

Goodbye for Now

Hello there.

Although I don’t know you and you don’t – let’s face it – really know me, we’ve been through a lot.  I started blogging in 2006, and began this lifecast in 2007.  I chugged away, dutifully recording these bits of my existence, photographing and captioning and – especially in the first years – reflecting quite alot, ruminating on life, love, and happiness.  Sometimes I shared deeply personal stories with you, other times – lately – not much at all.  Sometimes I offered you advice. Sometimes I just postedawesome photos of my pet dog. I did these strange, sometimes hilarious, sometimes awful things called lipdubs[Editors note: This was added seemingly today. It wasn’t there last night.]I filmed over 100 episodes of a little show called TMIweekly.  I got a tattoo.  I fell in love, got heartbroken, fell in lust, got heartbroken, dated and loved, dated and liked, dated, dated, and finally fell in love again. At this point my heart is so battle weary and scarred I can’t even tell if it’s broken or intact, but I’m leaning towards broken. I talked about my faith – which I came into (relatively) late in the game, but which has changed me inexorably as I navigated my way through the byzantine maze of my late twenties.

That maze continues, but I will no longer be documenting it. At least for now.

This post has been a long time coming, and I think it will surprise no one to hear that I’m taking a leave from lifecasting.  How long will I be gone?  Perhaps only a few weeks.  Maybe a few months.  And yes, there is the possibility (however implausible) that I’ll never lifecast again.  I love the solidity of closing the door to the past, of ending this life chapter with a definitive thud, all “Well, that’s THAT!”

But that, of course, is not how life works.  Life humbles you with irony and twists, it surprises you by giving you everything you ever imagined you wanted, only to leave you grasping for something else entirely.  And just when you think you’ve figured everything out, you find out you know even less than when you began.

For so long I was ambitious and enthusiastic and genuinely, GENUINELY happy.  I am no longer any of these things, and I haven’t been for quite some time now.  I am badly, badly burnt out.

Various readers have asked what is going on “behind the scenes” here at Nonsociety – what “really” happened with Jordan, what “really” happened with Mary, why I never post anymore, do I care about my critics, why don’t I do this or that or the other thing, what’s happening with my career, what’s happening with Prom King, what’s happening with my waistline and my face and my future, and here is the short answer, the answer that should surprise you more than anything:

I don’t want to talk about it.

And the longer answer, which I sent to one (originally rude, but later quite reasonable) reader:

Why do you think I owe you anything?  I’m sorry I’ve disappointed you, but honestly, you’re not a friend of mine, nor are you family, so I’m a bit confused as to why you think that you have some sort of say in how I should or should not be …

Here’s the deal: I *DO* ignore the critics, absolutely.  I don’t read the reblogging site, ever ever ever, and I have to shut them out (even emails like yours), because the truth is, I know better than anyone how I’m doing, why I do what I do, what my goals are (or were, at least), etc.  And if I were to listen to outsiders who didn’t know me – most of whom wish me ill will – I would literally go crazy.

And sometimes the things going on behind the scenes are far, far too painful to talk about …  I’m already going through a total Turning 29 crisis (it started when I was 28 1/2), but I don’t feel like sharing that with the world.  In fact, I’m not sure WHAT I feel like sharing with the world, except photos of my dog and occasional party pictures.  I’m exceptionally confused with what I want in life … I thought I wanted one thing, then I got it, and now it doesn’t seem so great anymore.  So where to from here?  I have NO idea.  And even if I had the answer, I’m not sure I’d write about it.

Is that lame?  I don’t know.  Part of me has really stopped caring what other people think.  I mean, it still can hurt my feelings (which is why I don’t seek out criticism), but ultimately I can’t spend my life worrying that strangers aren’t pleased with my decisions.  We each have to travel our own path, replete with all sorts of lessons – some of which aren’t so much fun to learn sometimes.

This career – this wild ride I embarked upon when I moved to New York, a naive, ambitious, frightened girl of 23 – has given me everything I wanted.  More than that, even.

But I no longer want what I wanted back then.  Last August, everything changed.  It wasn’t subtle and it wasn’t gradual – it was literally a moment, and EVERYTHING shifted.  All of the cliches about women and biology rang true for me: I went from being blissfully single to obsessing about finding a husband in a span of about six months prior to my 29th birthday.

At the same time, I began experiencing this strange unhappiness and exhaustion and frustration with what I had been doing – quite happily – for the past five years.

I tried writing about it, several times, including this one, which I wrote in February:

So … so.  The elephant in the website (does that slight permutation on the cliche even work?  sigh) is that I’ve drastically reduced my posting here over the past month or two.

It’s obvious, and yet I’ve failed to address it.  Why?  For a multitude of reasons, really, not the least of which is that, while I knew that something was wrong, I couldn’t really articulate it.

I had planned write something around the first of January explaining that I was taking time off.  Except that in order to write something, I needed (or felt I needed) an explanation.

But I had no explanation.  Not for you, and more worryingly, not for me.

Oh, sure, I could list a variety of reasons I wanted to stop – for a while, a few months maybe – but I had disproportionate trouble putting them down on paper.  Er … screen.

And what does one say when one has a general malaise? ”I’m going through something?  Except I don’t know what?”  “I’m just not that into this website? Sorry?” “I can’t muster up the enthusiasm to do anything, much less post on my website?” “I have no idea what’s wrong with me, but I sure as hell am not going to reveal any weakness to YOU!”

But those “reasons” had been around for some time.  What had changed?

I had no idea.  All I knew was that in the last six-eight months (since August, really), something had shifted in me.  I wasn’t myself, and it took me until December to realize what it was, and how bad it had gotten.

It has been very bad indeed.

The truth is, I’m not sure what I want anymore.  I really have no idea. And that has been deeply confusing to someone who has charged full force ahead (sure, sometimes in entirely the wrong direction) her entire life.

Frankly, I don’t even know in which city I want to live.  New York doesn’t seem like *ME* anymore, but I don’t know what city does.  I know I don’t want to travel as much, I know I don’t want to go to parties as much, I know I don’t want to “network” as much.  I also know that lately I stand in photos and smile and pretend my life is just perfect, BUT IT’S NOT.

What do I need now?  Who the hell knows? The only thing that appeals to me right now is going to an ashram far, far away.  I’m embarrassed that I don’t have these answers.  I’m exhausted – not physically.  My soul is exhausted.  I’ve lost my purpose.  I’ve lost perspective.  Worst of all, I’ve lost the joy I used to find constantly in life, except in very rare moments.  I don’t feel like ME anymore.  I’m just … I’m sad.  I’m really, really sad.

But I know myself and I know I’ll pick myself up and dust myself off and all of those other cliches, and one day I’ll look back on this and laugh and laugh and say, “See? The universe can’t fill your basket unless you empty it first.”

So I guess this is me emptying my basket.  I don’t regret this experiment, this foray into real time sharing, this career or this life.  I am proud of some things I have done, I am ashamed of others.  I am not perfect – I never claimed I was – but I believe I can be better, I can treat others better, I can live a better life.

I won’t disappear forever, but now it’s time for me to focus on other projects, on my relationships, on love, on regaining that sense of joy that I have lost, but most of all, on living my life with a deep sense of purpose and faith.

For what it’s worth: it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

As a wise friend once told me, sometimes it takes as much courage to leave as it does to stay.

Thank you for listening.

Love,
Julia

I won’t rag on her, but I do have to say that she just needs to admit that she reads this site relentlessly. Once she looks at criticism face on, she will learn how to address it and change for the better.

UPDATE2: If you say your going to quit the internet, then you really should turn off the computer.

“Maybe you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be.”

Carrie Bradshaw.  It somehow seems very fitting to end this chapter – or begin this hiatus – with a quote from, of all people, her. 😉

And with that, my friends, adieu.

This quitting the internet thing is like starting a vegan diet by eating a sirloin with bacon-wrapped asparagus.

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425 Responses to UPDATED: Um. . . Err. . . Oops. . .

  1. Kimbo Slice says:

    Riiiiight. We’ll see how long that lasts.

    • Exhausted Drag Hag says:

      I was just going to say riiiight.

      Also, fuck off.

      • Belle says:

        Given that her “I don’t want to talk about it,” in italics, was followed by a post where the length was worthy of Tolstoy, I give it two weeks. Tops.

    • anonabomb says:

      um, wow. that was a little much.

    • Blare Waldonk says:

      That was awesome! ::jazzhands::

    • donkeydoo says:

      yeah, no kidding. you have about as much tact as the donkey. this is a fun little sight, nowhere to wish death on anyone.

    • (formerly)OrangeArchesOfDoon says:

      Woah there Julia’s 1000th. The online JABa is just a “persona” remember? Nothing to get so worked up about. Like chill.

    • Julia Frankenstein says:

      Hi Legowig. You are more than a little bit creepy.

    • Dyspeptic2 says:

      Oh, for God’s sake. Julia Allison is annoying, sure, but damn, the girl has provided me with so many lulz over the years that if she actually (and I am not holding my breath here) straightens up, flies right & gets happy, that will be A-OK with me. Not saying it’ll happen, but still, 1000th cupcake, how does it feel waaaaay out on your creepy limb there?

    • Jacy says:

      Whoa.

      Personally, I just want the dumb chick to acknowledge she’s to blame for her own problems, get some serious therapy and sort herself out. I’d even read those blog posts.

    • Jordan Is sooooooo Annoying says:

      That was harsh and unnecessary. NO ONE deserves that kind of vitriol.

    • Julia's sideburns says:

      How many fucking times is this stupid bitch going to say she is going to stop writing about her fucked up life? She is the biggest attention whore I have ever seen. Woe is me. Shut the fuck up and get your fat ass on a treadmill. Stop complaining about how “hard” your life is. You are just a fat ass ugly brat who was given everything in life by your parents, who I assume, worked hard to live a nice life.

      You, on the other hand, are a complete and total waste of humanity who is approaching her 30th birthday having not accomplished one fucking thing. Why the fuck did you pay 50,000 grand a year to go to Georgetown? What a fucking waste. You should pay back every fucking cent of that to your parents. Fucking loser.

    • Squirrelbait says:

      Patience, catladies, Julia’s 1000th Cupcake is clearly afflicted with Donkette’s Syndrome. I did a quick search to find out the best way to handle such behavior and… well… the image that accompanied this particular result was hilariously appropriate:

      http://www.tourettesyndrome.net/behavior.htm

      😀

  2. bitchface says:

    cute, [redacted] still influences her

  3. anon says:

    If anyone else were to state this I would understand, but considering she claims that sharing her life through social media is her ‘job’, I have to ask wtf? Julia, we all know you don’t work – no, appearing once a month off-peak on MSNBC to yap about Kate Gosselin or some similar bullshit is not work – but if you take a hiatus from the interweb, how are you going to convince Dadsers to pay your rent?

    • Shrug Bitch says:

      I’m predicting a trip home to clear her head, which becomes permanent when OMG look at all of these second rate news shows in Chicago that totally need a Sunday morning anchor!

  4. ET says:

    i bet she won’t do it. she can’t. she always says she’s going off the grid and never does. besides who, besides us catladies, is paying attn to her social medianess?

  5. auggie says:

    Okay, seriously, wtf. Isn’t this whole social media thing her job? You know Julia, _job_ as in an activity one engages in in order to make money?
    Oh wait, she has gift cards to sell for that.

    • Belle says:

      This is what I have never understood. Jackles brays on and on about how “you are your brand” and the importance of “building and maintaining your brand,” but if you are your brand and your brand is a failure…by the transitive property, you are a failure.

      How can a person who is so obsessed with “her brand” a) quit what she has essentially said is her gravy train and b) continue to do things that seriously damage and tarnish said brand all the while blaming others?

      Makes no sense.

      • Mini Driver says:

        “[I]f you are your brand and your brand is a failure…by the transitive property, you are a failure.”

        This strikes me as a succinct and even poetic explanation of Julia’s current existential crisis.

        Reading her prolonged explanation… I never thought I’d say this, but my heart goes out to her. She’s not fully cognizant of it yet, but what she’s grappling with is her own mortality, and that shit never really goes away. I hope she finds her peace.

    • coochi says:

      that was exactly what i was thinking

  6. heehaw says:

    Isn’t social media, like, her professional field?

    So, now she doesn’t even have a fake job. She literally, literally has nothing.

    • Hangonlikegrimdeath says:

      not only her job, but her business. what happens to nonsociety if she quits? what happens to katrina and megan? seems irresponsible to me, sorry. we’ve all had those early thirties crises, at least i have, and i didn’t have the privilege of quitting my job while i went through it.

    • coochi says:

      exactly

  7. Lonnie says:

    Seriously, let’s get a pool going.

    I give her 3 days of total silence — Twitter and NS.

  8. If she leaves forever, what do I win?

  9. worrisome cupcake says:

    Eh, could be a few days of silence on the losercast, but no more than 48 hours before she’s furiously Tweeting sappy, enabling things Momsers will say to cheer her up.

    What she needs is a reality check. Here’s an idea that would redeem her big time in my book… with all her free time, why not take on a volunteer project for a few weeks? Build houses with Habitat for Humanity! Volunteer at a health clinic in Central America! The best advice someone ever gave me when I was having a major depression/crisis was to spend significant amounts of time volunteering. You realize in about 10 seconds how narcissistic self-pity is. The world isn’t about Julia, it’s not about me, it’s not about you! Grow up and actually create some positive change in the world, rather than raising 10 cents for cancer research by throwing a party. Vomit.

    • bunnies forever says:

      this.

    • Wife Fluffer says:

      Like she would EVER go to a country that’s not “developed”

      Plus remember the whole Meghan India fiasco where she didn’t learn anything? It would be the same with donkey but worse.

      • Dyspeptic2 says:

        I vote Julia Allison goes on a mercy mission to Ranjit’s village, bringing lots and lots of donated tech electronics.

      • Jordache and the Pelts says:

        Habitat has a ton of sites in the US this year as always – including several in Hawaii.
        I volunteered with them in SE Asia for two weeks on a Jimmy Carter proect and it was life-changing – and certainly got me out of a funk and I met some amazing people (and got a workout).
        At any rate, she’s never going volunteer or lift a brick….

    • Jacy says:

      I have been saying that forever re: Donkey. And I did the exact same thing once after a terrible relationship breakdown — I spent two nights a week at a homeless shelter for a couple of months, doling out dinner. That really puts your shit in perspective, and you meet/talk to people who inspire you more than any goddamned airport self-help book.

  10. Juliajane says:

    Julia’s life is so hectic, with all of the massage appointments, 4pm brunches and nail panting, I’m so glad she’s realized that she needs to slow down and clear her head.

    Hopefully she’ll sleep in – wake up at 3pm instead of 2pm and really treat herself to more headbands and cupcakes than usual.

    Julia should look at wrist and remember to let it unfold, try as she might she can’t take all of the worlds problems on her shoulders.

  11. bishplease says:

    i actually feel kind of bad. I mean she clearly creates her own fuckups and no one is to blame but herself. But it’s just really sad that she is incapable of being in relationships.

    She has so many deep mental issues I really think she is a sick patient.

    Doesn’t that make us kind of bad for pointing and laughing? I mean just like when Donks pointed out [redacted]’s bipolar disorder?

    I don’t know, maybe it’s because I’m in a seriously fucked up relationship dating the biggest asshole known to man but can’t get out of it for certain xyz reasons… I’m just sad. and feeling sympathetic.

    • Cap goes wild says:

      I don’t think she has mental issues. She just doesn’t want to get a job and is trying to play various angles to avoid that fate.

      She can’t stay in a relationship because she insists on a man who is a) rich and b) willing to play along with her efforts to make herself a marketable celebrity.

      • Jacy says:

        But she has perfectly symmetrical breasts! And long flowing (fake) hair! That’s all men want!

    • I Just Bray says:

      I think her inability to stay in a relationship is the least of her worries, whether or not she has a mental illness. Girlfriend says her “soul is tired” and she doesn’t know why. It’s tired because she abuses it by being an awful human being. The worst part is, I don’t even think she realizes how she treats people.

      I too am feeling overly empathetic right now too, because after dealing with some heavy family/personal stuff for the past several months, I know what it’s like to have the slowly dawning realization that maybe your parents, despite loving you, didn’t raise you right, that just because certain people love you doesn’t mean you’re a good person, and to suddenly have to determine your OWN set of values. She needs to break free of the wacko Baughers and the fake “fans” and all her other enablers. I hope she steps back from all the crazy and really examines herself, but I doubt it will happen, because she’s kind of dumb.

    • Johnny Optional says:

      No because she’s in total denial. There have been a million people on the way pointing out her insincerity and directing her towards a more genuine way of living her life.

      She ignored everybody. She’s not taking responsibility for her cognitive dissonance. It’s the internet’s fault, and the mysterious processes of turning 29 that’s at fault.

      • Julia's Fat Ass says:

        “the mysterious processes of turning 29 that’s at fault.” Exactly. Oh boo fucking hoo you are single at 29. Cry me a river already. I’m a few years older than she is, and single. Is it easy? No. Is it sad? Often. Do I fucking maintain my dignity, forge ahead with my career and be an independent and motherfucking cool-ass grown woman? Hell yes. She needs to fucking GROW UP and realize life doesn’t always hand you exactly what you expected, and then she needs to get a motherfucking JOB finally so she won’t have so much time to dwell on all her non-issues.

        Obviously this whole “rich man will support my ass” thing didn’t work out. GET A JOB, go to school on Daddy’s dime, SOMETHING, ANYTHING, but just quit yer whinging already.

      • bishplease says:

        Julias Fat Ass: Also?? Since when is 29 in manhattan so OLD to be single???? i don’t get it, i’m sorry.

        how can she be a fucking feminist like she always claims she is – and talk about expiration dates??

        being 33 and unmarried in new york is par for the course, not crazy. and even the bish was 45, it’s just crass and backwards to talk about women like they’re cartons of milk.

        i hate i hate i hate.

    • Jane Austen says:

      Dear bishplease,
      Please leave the asshole. You’ll be so glad you did.
      BTDT

  12. FuckYouMoney says:

    Isn’t this, um, her *job*? At the “company” she, um, “founded”? Do, um, “founders” get to take weeks off from their startup enterprises?

    • melissa sue says:

      THAT is the biggest and most important question here, I think.

      When you own a company (fuck, when you just HAVE A JOB), you put on your godamn big girl pants and act like an adult, even when you’re depressed or hating it or want to cry.

      So sorry that she is ‘sad’ and wanting to make a change … but whatthefuck about the company? That’s what I want to know.

      Also, I think it’s very telling that August, when Jordan started NS, is when she started feeling this ‘shift.’

    • SA says:

      that is the part that irritates me most. lots and lots of us out there are unhappy in our jobs. what if we were to create this huge navel gazing letter of resignation so we could sit in our pink bedrooms all day and feel sorry for ourselves? the fact that she doesn’t need to work, but chose to treat blogging like it was her paying job, is (was?) infuriating.

    • totaljing says:

      Yeah, no statement about Nonsociety or even mention of it. Maybe she’s trying to sell it to SHEESH. I kid, sort of.

    • Dyspeptic2 says:

      Well, this should put the nail in the pink coffin of NonSociety, I should think.

    • MinnietheMoocher, Inc. says:

      My soul is also tired. I think I’m going to tell my executive director that I need to take some time off. I’m not sure how long I’ll be gone. Maybe I’ll come in tomorrow, maybe I’ll never come back, but, you know, please keep paying me until I decide. K?ThxBYE

  13. Leave My College Alone says:

    2 pm Weds. Twitter. Inspirational quote that makes no sense.

    Your guesses?

  14. Sausage Snappers says:

    Oshit.

  15. Very Proud of the Heart I Drew says:

    Ding Dong the witch is dead? Look at her page!

  16. nosrsly says:

    someone might want to copy her latest internet-suicide note before it’s taken down

  17. Drastic Plastic says:

    I can’t stand Julia because I know her in real life but that last post actually made me feel sorry for her. She seems truly truly lost and alone. I can’t imagine what it must be like to have to live with herself.

    I am confused by how she’s quitting her own company though. That’s a real pickle that.

    I am so grateful for my life. She offers perspective.

    • I won’t kick a donkey while it’s down, but I don’t feel sorry for her at all. People have been telling her online and in person that she needs to cut her shit. And she refused to listen, so are we supposed to give a round of applause now that she (supposedly) finally does? Yeah, I don’t think so.

      All she basically said is that she was going to quit the Internet. She’s said it before. I’ll believe it when the donkey brays in her echo chamber and her strifecast ceases to reverberate and dies with a whimper.

      • nosrsly says:

        Yeah i agree, JP. Her admission that she’s really sad would probably make me feel bad for her if it wasn’t in the context of 2,000 words of self-involved drivel. Get the fuck over yourself, asshole.

      • Drastic Plastic says:

        Oh I’m not applauding her at all. I just feel like wow, I’d kill myself if I were her. I have a tiny sliver of heart left. The thing is, you’re so right. I’ve seen this woman in action. In a week or two she’ll be back to being Julia and I’ll think, why the fuck did I ever feel sorry for her. It’s a vicious cycle.

      • nosrsly says:

        “Why do you think I owe you anything? I’m sorry I’ve disappointed you, but honestly, you’re not a friend of mine . . .”

        Um, wasn’t her whole business model based on the idea that she gets to endorse products because her audience sees her as a trusted friend whose opinion and recommendations they will take to heart? That’s a two way street, Julia Baugher. You don’t just get to be trusted and listened to because you decided you want to be. You have to earn it. That’s why people think you owe them something – because you based your business on it. Oh . . . how’s that business coming along, by the way?

      • Suck It Haters, See You in Aspen says:

        Speaking of business…What are the chances she told Katrina about this before posting a goodbye letter at 3am?

      • Julia's Fat Ass says:

        I don’t feel that badly for her either, I have to say. She created this life. BIG surprise when you spend your life doing a fake job posing for stupid pictures and being a gold-digging user, you wake up one day profoundly sad.

        Also go on a fucking anti-depressant already, you need one.

      • shekillsme says:

        Totally agree. More likely than not this is just some attempt to get something or prove something to PK. I take what she says as sincere about 0% of the time.

      • Dyspeptic2 says:

        Yep, she’s trying to make a point to Prom King. Yoo hoo! I’m spiritual and stepping away from the internet. I’m marriage material! Yoo hoo!

      • Johnny Optional says:

        Absolutely Juliaspublicist, nothing is her fault. She bears no responsibility in feeling awful, having no friends or boyfriend. An innocent fresh faced corn fed mid westerner was worn down by forces totally beyond her control. She doesn’t even know what city to live in anymore!

        I can’t sympathize with that.

    • dd says:

      She posted drivel like this at least two times in the past 3 years. People felt sorry for her (even I felt sorry for her) but then she rebounds and is back to using people and stalking the girlfriends of her ex boyfriends. She is a nasty girl who only cares about herself. She cares about other people only to extent that they are powerful and can do things for her. Do not ever feel sorry for her. She is a user and will never change.

  18. Very Proud of the Heart I Drew says:

    Do I detect a glimmer of self-awareness in there? I must be drunker than I thought. So what in August prompted the “moment” when she shifted to Obsessed Husband-Seeker?

    • Normal Healthy Julia That I Am Today says:

      Self-awareness? I find it odd and worrisome that you interpreted it that way.

      I read her try to frame her utter failure and walking away after she got “everything and more” from her “career.” WIthout Jules blerging things that piss us off, there is not NS. So what about new partner and sister Sheesh?

      Just a real-time example of one more person Jules has screwed over.

      • Very Proud of the Heart I Drew says:

        You’re right, I was really only thinking about how she admitted the husband thing. I SAID I was drunk.

        But don’t worry about Sheesh. I mean, Meghan Asha is still on board!

        … oh crap.

      • pink bunny wabbit says:

        ever the revisionist donkey is claiming that she is a victim of all the pressure of reader expectation and whatevs . Give me a break on the same day she was banging on about leopard print DVF. Something happened today -someone said something, an opportunity was missed, failed pilot etc-there has been an external event that has caused this.

  19. pink bunny wabbit says:

    she’ll rise again for easter with a lipdub

  20. IamLA says:


    Life is funny. Just when you think you’ve figured everything out, you find out you know even less than when you began.
    2 minutes ago via web

    Goodbye, for now: http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/469742214
    35 minutes ago via web

    YOU DUMB FUCKING DONKEY. GOODBYE LASTED 33 MINUTES?

  21. From her twitter just now:

    “Life is funny. Just when you think you’ve figured everything out, you find out you know even less than when you began.Life is funny. Just when you think you’ve figured everything out, you find out you know even less than when you began.”

    UGH. IF SHE QUIT THE FUCKING INTERNET, WHY IS SHE STILL TWEETING?

    Yeah. Sympathy? None.

    She’ll be back.

    • Drastic Plastic says:

      Now I’m mad (at myself) for feeling bad. I don’t think she understands the meaning of the word quit as in to cease and/or desist.

    • Very Proud of the Heart I Drew says:

      She is trying to turn her life into a screenplay. Her dramatic exit from blogging is the moment of despair, the turning point of the plot. In her mind, this quote will be the voiceover at the start of the montage that follows.

      • Hoey says:

        I agree. She’s following Sex and the City, almost per ep, def by plot. Sniffing for a book deal there, eh Jules? You’d be just the recession-proof idiot to think it viable.

    • Scooby Don't says:

      Quitting the internet for Donkey is just like her endless diet plans, exercise promises, self improvement ideas, big business plans and epic new year’s resolutions.
      They all require willpower and desire to put in some hard work to see them through.
      And if there’s one thing she’s shown through the years is that she doesn’t possess either trait.

    • Dyspeptic2 says:

      When you quit the Internet, you must quit across all the multiple platforms on which you spew your nonsense. So, oh Pelted One, don’t forget to post your suicide note on Facebook, too. And send a press release to Gawker while you’re at it.

    • Johnny Optional says:

      “I Quit The Internet and Couldn’t Be Happier: Suck on that jealous losers” by Julia Allison Hyperion 2012

  22. The Manta says:

    Ah nothing better than the re-writing of history: “…when I moved to New York, a naive, ambitious, frightened girl of 23…”

    She says this so everyone will think she was some young single girl who moved to the big city chasing a dream of being a writer, barely scraping by each month but loving life!

    As I recall she moved to NY on the arm of some rich dude whose marriage she had just wrecked. When they broke up she then spent another year rent free in his apartment. I’m not sure is she got her own place aka Pink Palace when she moved out of there or if she mooched off other men/friends for free rent.

    • No Money Peltskank says:

      I hate it when she chooses the matronly tone. Julia, you are not a senior citizen yet, although I know that you would love to skip over the actual process and jump right from wedding day to fondly looking back on 63 years of happy marriage. You are also not the kind of welll-established NYC media scene veteran, bright-eyed young women seek mentorship from you like to think you are.

    • Jacy says:

      Bingo.

    • Julia's Fat Ass says:

      Yeah, exactly. The 23 year old girl with no student loans and the $10,000 life grant from her parents when she graduated. She has no perspective whatsoever.

  23. BunnyBingo says:

    Whatever. More of the same victim mentality BS. Why should I pity a vain selfish girl? The lengths this chick will go to to feel sorry for herself.
    What I am waiting for is the post explaining how she will pay her rent now that her “business” has gone under. She finally admits to being husband hungry for the last 6 months – Jeez, why didn’t she write about that honestly? You know, some actual interesting content for her liecast?
    All the blather about religion really offends me. Vanity and excess pride are not guiding principles in most religions.

    • Juliaspublicist says:

      Reading that post a second time revealed a slew of lies and self-delusion and narcissism on her part.

      My favorite part is when she tells a hater who wrote her that she ignores the hatred. She lies to herself. Ignoring the hatred doesn’t mean writing long ass emails back to them.

      And yes the faith thing is bullshit and offensive.

      This little experemt of completely changing her life will en in a huge, sad fail. She can’t even go to the gym two days in a row.

      • Eyebrows of Fury says:

        JP, would you consider letting us know more about these “long ass emails”? Respect your decision not to if you’d prefer, but I am dying of curiosity as to what she says to you guys. More invites to “tete-a-tete”s?

      • Juliaspublicist says:

        I am referring to the reader email she refers to and answers in the word vomit above.

      • Eyebrows of Fury says:

        Ohh, gotcha. Reading fail!

  24. Juliaspublicist says:

    One more thing because I really can’t sleep, the only time she “quit the Internet” and stuck with it was when she went to fat camp in Arizona.

  25. IamLA says:

    “I thought I wanted one thing, then I got it, and now it doesn’t seem so great anymore.”

    Is that her way of implying that she’s dumping PK and not the other way around? I can’t think of anything else she’s “gotten” recently, except a weird indentation under one eye.

    • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

      This completely caught me off guard and made me hiccup, I laughed so hard.

    • MinnietheMoocher, Inc. says:

      I think she means that she wanted to be famous, got it (um, ok, Jules, whatever you say) and now doesn’t like being “famous”.

  26. Eyebrows of Fury says:

    Something must have gone down today — as others have speculated. How else do you account for the change from “hiatus for the next few weeks” to goodbye 4ever cruel internets!?

    Besides the obvious answer (cray cray).

  27. Juliaspublicist says:

    What does this mean for her Learning Annex class?

  28. Hey Gawker actually covered it! Haha!

  29. “Why do you think I owe you anything?”
    “I don’t read the reblogging site, ever ever ever,”
    “I know better than anyone how I’m doing, why I do what I do, what my goals are”
    “All of the cliches about women and biology rang true for me”
    “I can’t muster up the enthusiasm to do anything, much less post on my website”
    “This career (…) has given me everything I wanted”

    Hey Julia? You disgust me.

    Here’s a little perspective for you, you dumb, entitled whore. I chose a career I thought I would love; instead, I found it to be soulless and downright evil at times. There are days I don’t feel like getting out of bed in the morning, but I know I HAVE to – and I get the fuck up and I do my job. And I kick ass at it, and I even manage to get excited about it sometimes. You know why? Because that’s the only option that makes ANY sense. It’s not about “doing everything that makes you happy, always” – normal people have to do shit they don’t want to do. ALL THE TIME. And they grin and bear it, because you know what? They don’t have the option to act like a petulant child and “go on hiatus” from their JOBS. They have to pay rent and bills and eat. Shocker, right? It’s not always about getting what you want exactly when you want it. It’s not about the universe just fucking WAITING to fill your basket. The universe doesn’t give a fuck and it’s not cheering for you. If anything, it’s cackling as you continue sabotage your “business”, your looks, your “friendships” and your “relationships”.

    There are days I feel like I’m never going to be able to get into the career I want; days when I volunteer in the field and it offers little glimpses of suffering and shit and hopelessness – and they break my heart. And I wonder if I’m going to be able to handle it once it becomes my full-time career. I get discouraged, I get upset, I want to throw a hissy fit, stomp and run away. But most importantly, I FUCKING DEAL, BECAUSE I’M NOT A NARCISSISTIC, SELF-INVOLVED, BUSTED-FACED WOMAN CHILD. And so it goes. (how’s that for a tattoo?)

    You make me sick. But thanks for being there – you make me truly happy and grateful I’m nothing like you.

    PS. Donkey.

    • melissa sue says:

      Ginger Sans Pelts, THIS.

      She needs to grow the fuck up. No one at my “job” gives two fucks if I am sad so long as I can still do the work. You just DO IT. IF I stomped away from my desk like a petulant child every time I didn’t feel like getting to work, how would I pay my mortgage?

    • anon says:

      oh my god. i could have written this myself. i have, actually, in emails and journal entries and such. makes me wonder if we’re not in fact in the SAME career field, haha…i would ask more but i’m too scared because i’m still working in the industry, which is very well-connected with the internet. but anyway, good luck to you! i hope we both can get to a better place.

    • totaljing says:

      Yeah.

      HEY JULIA, it’s 2 days before spring break and 5 kids (1/5) of my 5th grade class was suspended yesterday during a brawl which left 3 girls topless. I had to break up the brawl with the discipline officer. Then, I got reprimanded that I was teaching math while the brawl was going on. Then I had to go to my evening educatin course and give a power point presentation, one in which I did all the work for 4 other fucking people.

      Was I happy? NO. But I knew that I needed to complete that course and earn a pay check. So, I’m tying from my classroom. Kids about to arrive in 10 second. I’m so tired, I can hardly stand.

      Welcome to the real world!

      • hangonlikegrimdeath says:

        courage, fellow teacher! i gave four seventh-graders detention today…they were nuts because the school imposed extended periods for the day due to state testing. after school i had 2 hours of professional development. meanwhile, i have parents calling me at school, mad because their kids are failing. i have a boss who wants reports on every kid who is failing. then, i come home to three children under five who need constant love, care and attention. after they go to bed, i work on lesson plans until i fall, exhausted, into bed at 11pm. then it starts all over again at 6am. i have no sympathy for this tool. idiot lives her life through self-help claptrap and rom-com movies. grow the fuck up and deal with life. don’t expect to be OMG! SO HAPPY! every fucking moment of the day. do some WORK for god’s sake.

      • DirtyLakeMichigan says:

        @holgd – wow. I too am a teacher (or was prior to this). Well, now home w/ 3 kids. vveeerrrrryyy interesting

    • Fat Freddys Cat says:

      We’ve seen posts like this from others and it continues to always impresses the hell out of me when people on this site really reach down and serve up the true truth of what it means to be a friggin ADULT in today’s world.

      Damn, it’s good not to be a Donkster.

      In therapy group parlance, you’ve given us all a gift, Ginger, and let me say for as many of us as feel that (and I’m sure there are quite a few): THANK YOU!

    • Julia's Fat Ass says:

      For fucking real. I’ve been working 10 hours a day at a new job that is killing me. It’s HARD, I’m exhausted, I’m not even making a lot of money…but I have to work to further my career and make the smallest dent in my ridiculous $100K+ student loan debt. She can eat shit on a stick. She has no idea what real life or work entails.

    • Donksers says:

      That gave me goosebumps, Ginger. Donkey should trash all of her self-help books that talk about the universe filling her basket and just read your post. She needs an extra-strength reality check…not a collection of silly quotations-to-live-by.

  30. braying manatee says:

    Does this mean that you guys will publish all the unsubstansiated rumors now? Plz say yes.

  31. misssparklecupcake says:

    do you think sheesh will wake up in the morning to this and have the good sense to walk away?

    • Eight Dollar Grapefruit says:

      Um…err.. no. She wants the page views for PinkMemo. Same as she ever wanted. Fuck Julia, Sheesh has met Julia less than 10x in her entire life. She’s in it for the page views.

  32. Aspen Shadiness says:

    Interesting to note that this sudden sea change (wanting a husband, hating blogging) happened in August…isn’t that when she met and “hired” Jordan?

    • Betsy says:

      Also around the time Brother Britt and Allie got engaged, no?

      http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/140872449

      • Normal Healthy Julia That I Am Today says:

        Hahahaha

        Omigod suddenly everyone is talking about planning a big princess party for NOT ME. People are putting more $ into this party than any sponsors were willing to put into my birthcray party. Life change! Um…. er….. faith! ME WANT EXPENSIVE PRETTY PARTY

      • MinnietheMoocher, Inc. says:

        Yeah, I think the wedding has more to do with it than anything else. “Oh shit, my baby brother is getting married and I’m nearing my expiration date. SOMEBODY MARRY ME? Shit, why the hell doesn’t anyone want to marry me? It must be because of my website and all those mean haterz. I need to shut that shit down so I can get a rock on my finger before Britt gets married.”

  33. Hoey says:

    Fuck this vile bitch. This didn’t read as heartfelt, this shit was straight up contrived.

    The whole cliche/clock/29/wedded bliss bullshit? How about “I’ve done some soul-searching and am ready to be a better partner” or “I’ve always envisioned myself a wife, and I’m seeking someone who shares my life goals/intrests”.

    But nooooo. It’s MUST WED NOW. Shut up, you accessory.

    (Seriously, I don’t comment here much, but thus shit read so damn fake, and I couldn’t believe y’all were falling for it. Without NS, this post wouldn’t exist. Deniability is bitch’s bread and butter.)

    • Hoey says:

      Ugh, thus = this. Blame Jameson. Wait! Make that Franzia.

    • melissa sue says:

      Because she still hasn’t giving “love” or “being a good partner” ANY THOUGHT. The Prom King debacle just proves that. She doesn’t want a relationship and she certainly doesn’t want to work on it. She is just tired of being alone and financing her own failure.

  34. Julia's Too Small Tutu says:

    “Why do you think I owe you anything? I’m sorry I’ve disappointed you, but honestly, you’re not a friend of mine, nor are you family, so I’m a bit confused as to why you think that you have some sort of say in how I should or should not be”

    Actually, you do owe whoever put up the money for your “business” to provide content for said “business”.

  35. Bipolar Ex says:

    Does she know that there are people in this world who don’t have cupcakes, sky diving/skiing trips, vacations, birthday parties, hair extensions, 15 ballerina costumes, Betsey Johnson dresses, online shopping, internet, iphone, Mac air, a house in NY, a lhasa apso dog and friends in the high-end circles?

    I can’t believe she can still feel sorry for herself!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK MORE DOES SHE WANT?

    • might as well jump says:

      Some of the best “things” in life are free, baby!

    • dd says:

      Exactly what I was thinking when I read her post. Seriously, Julia? Your life is a luxurious party. After multiple trips to St. Barts and Aspen and clomping around on expensive furniture for your multiple birfday parties and receiving free shit… After all of this, if you are still not happy, maybe you should just STFU.

    • nosrsly says:

      No, she honestly doesn’t know. In that video where she gets free jeans from Armani she describes herself as “the only girl in the world with only two pairs of jeans” – like she thinks she’s special or something because her ass is too fat for jeans. Um, Julia? Millions of girls all over the world don’t have closets full of jeans beacause they can’t afford them, not because they are too narcissistic to put them on. She really doesn’t get it.

    • bitchface says:

      lily is a shihtzu ;O) (/nitpicking)

      good point. I would kill for many of the things she takes for granted. Ok not kill but I’d be grateful, indeed.

  36. Billy Allison says:

    The Wired magazine cover is more ridiculous than it ever was. There’s no crying in baseball!

  37. DirtyLakeMichigan says:

    Meh- I don’t believe it.
    Why? Because her dramatic ‘goodbye sweet internetz’ is too rehearsed. Like she looked in every book and took notes from every movie she found profound and spent weeks writing this… this… drama. It reminds me of one of those comedies where the guys who’s supposed to die keeps clutching at his chest, falling, getting up, stumbles again, then splats on the ground and sneaks one eye open because the audience just shrugged their shoulders and were walking away so UP again with the moaning and the groaning and the chest clutching… You get the picture.
    While all of what she wrote kinda makes me want to say, “wow, maybe she GETS it”, I don’t think so.
    When you hurt like that? Like the way she’s claiming she hurts? Her profound sadness, blah, blah, blah – how can she have the clarity she does about it? I don’t know about you catladeehaterz, but when I’ve been at the crossroads of my life (which happens many times JA… many times), it’s too foggy to see. I’ve just shut down and moved on because the need to soothe my soul was far more important than composing some speech. Wanna’ know how it’s gone? :

    “What’s wrong, DLM?”
    “Eh, not sure. Restless I guess”
    “Oh, yeah, that sucks”
    “Yup. It’ll work out. When life hands you lemons, pass the tequila and salt”
    “I have wine would that help?”
    “Yesiree mon ami”

    See? See that there? See how when you’re actually going through something you don’t quite know WHAT it is UNTIL YOU’VE GONE THROUGH IT??

    Nice sentiment with some profound thoughts, I just don’t think she really ‘feels’ them.
    Am I cold-hearted?

    • No Money Peltskank says:

      No, you are spot on, DLM. In moments of acute sadness most people don’t know what just hit them. Following up on the emotions, wading through the blizzard of sad/anxious/hatred of self and others/despair requires to get in touch with yourself and to slowly unpack what’s there. They may be able to articulate what’s going on after a while, but not really until having worked through the issues at hand and when has that ever happened in her case?
      Whatever she writes may be ful of emotional language, but void of real emotions. It always reads shallow and somewhat hollow. She’s mimicking other people’s struggles and has yet to face her own demons.

      • DirtyLakeMichigan says:

        I should have run my essay by you first. You said exactly what I wanted to say. Only, in way less words and much more succinctly than I. <3

    • ET says:

      I agree. I read kelly kutrone’s book last month and this post sounds like she OD’d on KC.

  38. lillydog says:

    Eat. Pray. Donkey.

    • lillydog says:

      i’ve been lurking awhile, and i just had to!

      • Pray4MyFatGayCats says:

        Eat. Bray.

      • wonkeye says:

        She could handle snarfing spaghetti in Rome and the fauxga in Bali, but I really don’t see Bishplease sweeping up the ashram. She’s going to have to find a new, reallyfuckingstupid, airport book to inspire her life.

    • Burra Fea says:

      I lol’ed so hard when I read the word “ashram” in her post. Life is not a rom-com or some silly chick lit memoir, Donks! If you keep seeing it that way, you will never be happy. She wouldn’t last one day at an ashram. No cupcakes!

    • Jane Austen says:

      Truly. Ashram, my ash.

  39. Julia's Too Small Tutu says:

    What of her “sisters” Megan and Meghan, aren’t their fortunes tied up with her vanity bog? When Mary left, Donks Tweeted “I thought we were all in this together.” and now she’s pulling a similar move except to, in high Donkey style, do nothing.

    • No Money Peltskank says:

      It has been said that Meghan may be getting a clue and on her way out, so it could very well be that she’s trying to preempt yet another humiliating defection. Pretty much like “Don’t break up with me. Let ME break up with YOU!”.

      • Dyspeptic2 says:

        Interesting theory. I guess we’ll see. But you’re right, that would be pure Donkology at its finest. Makes a certain sense.

      • Johnny Optional says:

        Meghan’s most recent post is hilarious “as an experienced snow boarder I know that good googles are essential – which I found out on my recent snowboarding trip”

  40. Braycation says:

    Nothing like rising with the cupcake-shaped sun to discover yet another classic bray. Here’s the funniest part to me: she complains about having to go to parties and take photos….so then why did she have her bray-coastal birthday circle jerk? She creates her own reality. No one forced her into any of this. No one held a gun to her head as she shopped at Betsy Johnson, or manipulated people for freebies. She could have had a quiet dinner at home, but she forged on, creating her own nightmare. What a dumb donkey. Talk to me when you actually experience some real suffering. She sounds like a poorly written Holden Caufield: spoiled, overprivileged, and entitled. The Donkey in The Bray

    • Jordache and the Pelts says:

      Exactly. The bi-coastal birthday bullshit is her baby and not exactly business related. And when she talks about how hard to it is to smile and pose at these parties she must attend- no one does it with a wider maw.

  41. cara says:

    It’s manipulative. Everything this woman does is to elicit a desired response, in this case pity. Public declarations of silence are strange animals – when there’s a real desire to go dark, you go dark. Or you shift focus from yourself to less personal material. Maybe you invite guest writers. Or reconceptualize this shitshow of a shillfest to be less about day-to-day minutiae and more about product reviews. What you don’t do is make an epic declaration that you’re killing yourself off on the internet. That’s just a scream for attention.

    • (formerly)OrangeArchesOfDoon says:

      Oh the dramz.
      So much of what she spews continually reminds me of a standard editorial adage: “Show, don’t tell.” Myriad declarations, little to no follow thru.
      No need to write 1,000 $4 dollar words to explain why you don’t owe anyone an explanations, Julia! And no need to use 1,000 more to explain that you’re leaving.

      I SO hope this sticks!! Toodle-oo Julia!! We’ll try to miss you!! [3 seconds pass] Still trying!!

    • Normal Healthy Julia That I Am Today says:

      And if you are going to blerg a public announcement that is longer than any other content you’ve every provided in the history of your content-providing business, you might CONSIDER wasting a precious line or two acknowledging how this will effect your sister-partners.

      Unless they told you they were quitting last night, thus making you “lose your appetite and scramble to make it look like you’re not the last one on a sunken ship.

      I just bray.

  42. So... says:

    Learning Annex thing still on?

    • KrakenSkulls says:

      seen this asked multiple times and just gotta say, no offense to you, do we really give a fuck?

  43. Bipolar Ex says:

    Quitting the internet does not happen over night… I have had the same mindset a couple of times.. you’ll never be able to sign off like that – and considering she never cares what people think of her, she would be back without a regret.

    The internet has to lose its charm on you… and you have to slowly get busy doing other things.. that’s when you’ll lose interest and quit blogging, writing, life casting or whatever else!

    • partypants says:

      When the internet stops filling whatever need it filled for you before, it’s easy to walk away. I’ve walked away for a couple years before. It’s easy when there’s nothing on the net you care about.

  44. Julia's Fat Ass says:

    Too. Much. To. Parse. (brain explodes)

  45. DirtyLakeMichigan says:

    You know what? I’m leaving the internet too…

  46. DirtyLakeMichigan says:

    One more thought though.
    You’ve all been ineffably awesome.

  47. DirtyLakeMichigan says:

    Really, I’m leaving.

  48. DirtyLakeMichigan says:

    I’m going…

  49. DirtyLakeMichigan says:

    Do you miss me yet?

  50. DirtyLakeMichigan says:

    OK, really.
    Bye!

  51. DirtyLakeMichigan says:

    Well…
    maybe I’ll peek in every-now-and-then.
    But otherwise, I’m outta’ here!

  52. DirtyLakeMichigan says:

    Just so ya’ know, I’m leaving the interwebz. Do you understand the implications of my absence?????

  53. DirtyLakeMichigan says:

    Apparently all you fookin’ catladeehaterz have NO clue what it means for me to go!!!

  54. DirtyLakeMichigan says:

    So…
    I’m back!!
    Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

    • No Money Peltskank says:

      I love you so much right now.

    • Driveby Commenter says:

      Geez, I go on a two-hour internet hiatus and I totally missed Dirty’s epic flounce. So much drama in one morning, oy!

      I need to take another internet break, so I can get what I really want out of life — a freshly-painted kitchen. That second coat isn’t going to apply itself, ya know. Carry on, my furriends, carry on.

    • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

      GOD I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!

  55. worrisome cupcake says:

    Of course she’ll be back on the internet. Seriously, other than losercasting, what other skills does she have to offer the workplace? What other jobs is she eligible to apply for? Clearly none of her pilots have worked out, her tv appearances have dried up, and now she’s not blogging, although that is the one thing she shaped her life and company around. And let’s be honest here, what business school is going to take her? No husband, no job, no future prospects… she *needs* the internet to keep spinning her faux career.

    • Johnny Optional says:

      It’s also the only thing that facilitates her need for brand new “friends” to momentarily impress before pissing them off. It’s either the internet or becoming a bar fly in the Vegas airport bar.

  56. OMFG, the Twitter responses:

    “That was a meaningful final post”

    “only do things that truly make you happy :)”

    “finding you for you is more important! Be free! :)”

    “Finding my meaning in 2010 has made all the difference. Here’s to finding yours…”

    Since when is it OK to be a 30 year old with no job, no responsibilities and no plans for the future? I mean, seriously? Why does she get encouragement and praise for being a dumbass kidult? I’m so tired of this Eat Bray Love crap claiming it’s A-OK to abandon everything because you need to “find yourself” and “figure out what’s really important” and “do what makes you happy”. Fuck that shit. What happened to sucking it up, getting a grip and working hard?

    • Pray4MyFatGayCats says:

      If you have no responsibilities, you can do anything you want to do, or not do!!!!!111!!!111!!!!!11!!!!!!

    • DirtyLakeMichigan says:

      “What happened to sucking it up, getting a grip and working hard?”
      There’s no drama or glory or cameras or condom costumes doing it like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • someprobs says:

      Uh, GSP, working hard and sucking it up isn’t for the special snowflakes, don’t you know!

      I don’t see why Jackles would want to buckle down and reach her goals like Sheesh seems to be doing. That is for the ordinary, not our speshul princess.

    • No Money Peltskank says:

      Seriously. All these self-centred, deeply egotistical soul searchers make me homicidal because for some reason the quest for the self/meaning/happiness always seems to include everybody else having to put aside their own well-being because it might bring the soul searcher down.

      • hangonlikegrimdeath says:

        starving families in poor countries around the globe, just empty your baskets already!!! the universe is waiting to fill them up!
        this is my BIGGEST issue with the slelf-help bullshit…it fails to address the horrific inequalities of our world. everyone is a priveleged white douchbag in the self-help world.

  57. Pink Ruffled Cheese says:

    No, it’s ok, Julia. Don’t ever take responsibility for anything. It’s not like you, as a business owner, owe your consumers anything. Like content.

  58. wonkeye says:

    I know this is minor, but the thing that really got me about this recycled pout was this: “Turning 29 crisis (it started when I was 28 1/2). . . .”

    Who, after the age of five or six, adds AND-A-HALF when asked their age? There’s so much to loathe, yet that is the thing that will cause me to pull on my cunt pants the next time I run into her. Maybe by then she’ll be 29 and 2/3. Or 29 11/16.

    • Julia's Too Small Tutu says:

      When you live your life believing that you have an expiration date, every ‘and a half’ counts!

    • Normal Healthy Julia That I Am Today says:

      The same “who” that wears pink tutus to their half-birthday parties.

  59. Har-Har says:

    It’s really adorable how now, in the midst of one of the most important weeks in recent American history, the only thing on Donkey’s radar is “ME ME ME ME ME.” Didn’t surf on over to any real website in the past several days? I thought you OMG LOVED Huffpo and the Daily Beast. I thought you were fucking stalking Megan McCain. And not a peep from you since you blamed people’s diabetes on themselves? Not even a reblog of someone quoting Biden’s “This is a big fucking deal?” But you know what, Donkey, you’re right. Your manic upswing is way more important than HCR will ever be.

  60. Julia's Too Small Tutu says:

    When you live your life believing that you have an expiration date, every ‘and a half’ counts!

  61. Lars Von New Trier says:

    “I am badly, badly burnt out.” Since she can’t make any credible claim to be burnt out on actual work or effort, the way a medical student is after exams, what I think she means (whether she knows is or not) is that she’s tired of her fraud and perpetrating a charade of a life. It must take an awful lot of effort to always be false, and the cracks finally started to show. That she realized she couldn’t go on is actually good and healthy and, despite her vehement protests that she had recently been GENUINELY happy, I read this whole post as a bit of a confession that the whole thing has been a kind of ruse and that, to paraphrase Pessoa, “Julia Allison, strictly speaking, doesn’t exist.” And what’s silly is that she’s FINALLY interesting. NOW she needs to write a book; it’s the next year that is worth documenting, not the previous. She’s been through a lot and could actually, finally, create something real and true. But I guess she doesn’t see it that way; if it’s not Sex in the City then she can’t be bothered with Ordinary People.

    • Dyspeptic2 says:

      Yes, this. It’s the maintenance of the facade, the charade, that’s exhausting. I have always wondered how it must feel to devote so much time and energy to assuming and maintaining a pose (literally and figuratively), and shuddered to think of it.

      • liy's 3rd eye says:

        Yeah this is where our pink coated Empty Signifier could woman up and look in to the abyss. I can’t fault her for this, since she is perhaps choosing to face the void we’ve all been seeing inside her soul, and the void is not so fun, no matter who you are. I sincerely hope she gets the help she needs.

    • MinnietheMoocher, Inc. says:

      It takes energy to be so aggressively shallow.

  62. Cap goes wild says:

    Her last post is just another piece of manipulation. If you want to know how she gets people to do stuff for her – it’s her ability to make people feel sorry for her and forget the piles of evidence that she can’t be trusted.

  63. Jordan Reid-Tard says:

    Clearly Prom King broke up with her.

    • might as well jump says:

      Yeah, I think this may have happened and now she can’t go on and on about fabulous dates, having a boyfriend, etc. Her stepping away from the internet is probably her PRIMARY way of not having to confront the failure of yet another relationship. I admit that this would freak me out, too — but she’s set herself up for it by creating a whole show around it and now that there are problems, she just wants to bow to the audience and have the curtains close. Problem is … life just doesn’t work that way. Sorry.

    • Jacy says:

      Totally. This is all just a show for Prom King and his family, who think she’s mental, right?

      This is an attempt to show him she is going to do whatever possible to change, even GO OFFLINE!!! WOW!!!

      It’s a last-ditch effort to snag the husband.

      • might as well jump says:

        It’s probably too late for this particular snag-gle, Jacy — she’s embarrassed by the whole thing, as I would be, and she wants reality to bend to her distress, i.e., close those fucking curtains now!

      • Mary is heinous says:

        Trust me. You are spot-on.

    • Jordache and the Pelts says:

      It’s either a show for PK’s family or he’s done with her and she wants to avoid discussing it on her liecast – after she’s spent all this “time “documenting the evolution of the relationship – by taking a convenient break and slapping some faux-spirtiuality on for good measure. Either way it’s all silly and bizarre.

    • Johnny Optional says:

      Even more important than Prom King, I think Randi dumped her.

      • Jordache and the Pelts says:

        I’ve never understood the Randi dynamic. I hope she wised up and has finally nipped the Julia thing.
        Meghan plugged the nonsociety Facebook page this morning which is odd since she rarely posts
        As usual, it’s all smoke and mirrors and bullshit and Julia’s early morning insanity is hardly the concise and carefully articulated damage control one would expect from a “real” company going through a transition.
        She wants it every which way but the honest, hard-working, show-up-and-stuff-even-though-it’s-a-bitch route – no wonder she’s depressed.
        It also cracks me up that her season finale posts reference the art world and her shallow take on it – if she had any sense of creativity and context – and piad nominal attention at Georgetown and visited a few galleries and museums in Chicago, NYC, and DC – Julia could have easily turned this nonsociety mess into an epic performance art piece. Dumber folk have done it. It would still be stupid and a vanity exercise but at least could claim some cultural relevancy as a footnote.
        I also like that the Jeff Koons pink balloon toy sculpture looks like sausage links.

      • Sausage Snappers says:

        What makes you think that?

    • Ba Donka DONK says:

      Totally, this is the Donk’s version of threatening suicide. B/c for her, public death is death.

      (omg, I have been busy this morning and just catching up!)

    • Ineffable says:

      This is all I care about (okay and hearing the real deets about Mary and Jordan). All I want is juice, damnit!

  64. Catch the Spit says:

    “I am badly, badly burnt out.”

    BURNT OUT?! Fuck me. What a stupid little cuntbag.

    • Johnny Optional says:

      EMS personnel get “burnt out”, social workers get “burnt out”, puffy pink cupcake tutu princesses not so much.

  65. Ranjit Ramlamapoontang says:

    Yes, okay. Okay? Have saying in my village. It translate literally into English and Canadan the same: “My camel’s hump has become nastily deflated”. Means same as Merican saying: “Bummer!”.

    I show to friend Pavin Donkey’s last post and he just shake head, walk away and say “Poor Ranjit. No longer have raison d’etre.” Not know what that mean but I think that have something to do with bent male organ or something.

    Also have nother saying in village: “Don’t bury camel until it stinks — mebee it just sound sleeper.” I say that to say this: Donk will be back, eh.

    I will tune village sat dish to WGN and suffer thru late night showings of 1980’s Sly Stallone movies to see if she become pitch lady for selling chevies to professional stoners, long-term drunks and insomniacs of all kind. Will let you know.

  66. canklasaurus says:

    She was dumped and the millionare matchmaker probably told her what we have all been saying shut up and stop blogging to get a husband.

    I give her less than two weeks. Fame whores don’t leave that easily.

    • dd says:

      I bet the millionaire matchmaker dumped her too! “I am sorry Ms. Allison but you are no longer considered viable inventory for our service.”

      PK may have complained to the matchmaker about Julia, the matchmaker is not going to want the paying clients upset. She cuts Julia loose. Now she has to find rich guys on her own.

    • Normal Healthy Julia That I Am Today says:

      You know what’s awesome? She started seeing that matchmaker after her OMG must have husband moment of faith or whatever. But of course at thetime she said she was doing it for an article or TMI segment (can’t remember which).

  67. CodeNameTKNO says:

    Cat ladies, Fatties, and Shut-ins, Lend me your ears.
    I come to bury Donkey, not to praise her…..

    Let’s just hope the radio silence lasts!!

  68. diluted brain says:

    This really infuriates me because lifecasting is your job. This is what you signed up for, to show the world everything. The happiness, the sadness, the perfect and imperfect parts. It just boggles my mind. I have been having a rough time at my job for almost 2 years. 2 long years. Did I just quit? No, well because I would need unemployment since my parents don’t pay my mortgage or bills. She is just so self absorbed that she has pissed me off before I finished my coffee.

    And a side note, I did love SATC and Carrie Bradshaw. As we know she is not or ever will be like Carrie. But I have to say that quote is bullshit. who wants to let go of who they are? I understand wanting to better yourself and improve your life but to change who you are completely? FAIL.

    I’m around her age and of course don’t have all the answers or wisdom either, but just fed up with her and think she needs to grow the fuck up, stop writing “oh poor me” just to get attention and stop quoting tv shows, books, and movies. Those are written by writers who spend massive amounts of time critiquing and thinking these thoughts. Normal individuals don’t just spew them on a whim.

    • Expert Gay says:

      She *is* allowed to change jobs, though, especially as lifecasting isn’t a real job.

  69. Expert Gay says:

    You know, I really hope she follows through on this post and sorts out her life. I hope I never read another post of hers again. I have a feeling she’ll be back in, say, two weeks, because this has happened before, but that will be a disappointment.

    I can’t help but notice, though, that nowhere in this novel-length post does she take personal responsibility for any of her problems.

    • Nickelodeon Chic says:

      This, this, this X 1000.

      I hope she really does go offline and figure out how not to be a terrible person.

    • Agreed. If she really stays away and figures out her problems, more power to her. Personally, as much as she annoys me, I’ve never been against Julia as a person, just Julia (and NonSociety) as a “business”.

      That said, she’ll be back in less than a week I bet.

  70. Dyspeptic2 says:

    Oh Christ on a cracker, that steaming pink pile of self-help crap is Julia Allison’s effing *Book Proposal.* God save us all.

    • liy's 3rd eye says:

      Ooooh. CALLED IT!

    • Jordan's (One) Cold Shoulder says:

      It totally is. “NYC ‘it-girl’ and Internet lifecaster outgrows the spotlight and constant scrutiny of updating her blog and sharing her life with the public. She goes offline and discovers a new world and, along the way, discovers herself.” Tentative Title “Tuning In by Shutting Off”.

  71. Fat Freddys Cat says:

    nowhere in this novel-length post does she take personal responsibility for any of her problems.

    BAM! RIGHT!

  72. Dyspeptic2 says:

    Also: Dadser must be wondering about now why he was dragged from coast to coast on widdle Julesy’s social-media “Listening Tour” (TM). Gah, the bile is rising up my craw over this self-obsessed idiot and her latest internet flounce. Hope she’s not waiting for the New York Times magazine editor to call and put her on the cover for a confessional a la Emily Gould. Gah, gah, gah.

  73. Jacy says:

    Another Internet vacation. The MacBook Air one lasted about a month.

    Two things made me howl: “I never read here!” “I want to go to an ashram!”

    a. If she never reads here, why has she e-mailed us several times?

    b: What a cliche.

    • Dyspeptic2 says:

      Yeah, the ashram line was rich, rich, rich. It’s all “Eat, PRay, Love” for our little pelty princess now. Do they even allow pelts in an ashram. Hey, Donks, just because it worked to make Elizabeth Gilbert’s Fuck You MOney doesn’t mean it’s gonna work for you.

  74. It's just me says:

    What is she going to do now?

  75. It's Always Shitty in Donkadelphia says:

    I suppose it’s possible she’ll take her awesome writing talent & slink off to a bedroom-community burb in the middle of BFE to write under the nom de plume of J. Stickney-Baugher …

    But hey! Apparently Benny Hinn needs to wife-up again, & since he IS the advocates of Prosperity Gospel, (which teaches that Christians who are right with God will be rewarded with wealth and health in this lifetime), there’s always THAT. She’s definitely got the requisite tranny make-up, sparkly clothes & shillz-skillz down pat …

    TV-EVANGELIST WIFE NAME FOR THE BLOG ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS JULIA ALLISON: “Donkey-Braye Faker

  76. Fred Grott says:

    If she was even remotely serious she would have all site pages redirect to just a blank black page..

  77. God says:

    We broke the donkey.

  78. Loren Feldman says:

    This was fun, but she’ll be back. Now what to do we do until then?

  79. Sara O. says:

    She *dated and loved* Forman? but denied him access to the green-pus rimmed clam dungeon? And what about MA? She can’t keep NS going on two posts a month.

    • Eight Dollar Grapefruit says:

      NS became a service to forward traffic to Pink Memo, apparently. That’s why Sheesh is there–the only plausible reason is to divert traffic to her real site that is a real business.

  80. IGotzSumptinToSay says:

    Wherever will I put my hate now?

    To quote Quiz Kid Donnie Smith from the movie Magnolia:
    “My name is Donnie Smith, and I have lots of love to give.”

    • Jordache and the Pelts says:

      Good reference!!!!
      If she’s really leaving the internets then frogs are going to start raining.
      This morning’s big announcement is a ploy for attention or evasion and probably both. She rarely posts on nonsociety anyways – she’ll still be twittering like a banshee.

  81. She's just stupid says:

    What a bunch of self-indulgent drivel.

  82. She's just stupid says:

    Also, it reads to me like she’s leaving New York, which is fantastic news.

  83. Jordan Is sooooooo Annoying says:

    Usually I enjoy reading the snark on here but frankly, the comments that I could be bothered reading today have left me feeling very sorry for Julia. She cannot do ANYTHING right for you guys. You wanted her off the internet, she’s off the internet, yet you are still tearing her apart.

    Look, I know her in real life and she has done some annoying and despicable things. But for god’s sake, she is obviously in a bad place right now and she’s decided she needs a break to sort herself out.

    You win RBNS. What are you going to do with yourselves now?

    • Pray4MyFatGayCats says:

      “Frankly” is the single most insincere word in the English language.

    • She's just stupid says:

      “Bad way.” LOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

      This is a woman who thinks she deserves to make a living, nay– fuck you money–just by existing. Wrap your head around that there, Annoying Jordan.

      She’s responsible for and deserves every bad thing that happens to her.

    • Worrisome Pelts says:

      JISA, I would agree with you if we hadn’t seen all this before. JA is like a damn cockroach – she isn’t going anywhere. If she doesn’t post for a month and we’re still here making fun of her, you’ll have a valid point.

    • It's Always Shitty in Donkadelphia says:

      “she’s off the internet” | “she’s decided she needs a break to sort herself out.”

      We really should re-visit your comments when she re-appears online, after her much-needed & protracted break from the internet …

      What’s say we synchronize our spheshul RBNS de-coder rings-with-watches & plan to meet back here, say Sat’ morn, 9:00 a.m.?

      YOU bring the cupcakes! 🙂

    • Jacy says:

      Georgie Girl, I for one will enjoy the break. And I sincerely do hope she gets some help. But you’ll notice she plays the big victim card here; at no point does she take responsibility or acknowledge that her life is what she has made of her life. No one demanded she go to parties and travel all over the place to celebrate her birthday like a 12-year-old. No one demanded she blog endlessly about how badly she wants a husband. She did this to HERSELF. This site exists because she provided the material.

      With no material, we won’t have much to say. I for one look forward to reading GOMI more often.

      • Worrisome Pelts says:

        Jacy, is this speculation or do we know that the comment above is from Georgie Girl? If so, that’s the the superficial pot calling the kettle annoying. GG is a bigger shilldebeast than the Donk.

      • misbojankles says:

        is that really GG? her SN really adds legitimacy to her argument.

      • Jacy says:

        It is someone who previously commented under the name Georgie Girl, and once claimed she had Lilly when Donk was travelling. Who knows if it really is GG?

      • juliajane says:

        Busted!

    • Addison DeWitt says:

      What are going to do with ourselves? We’ll do we have been doing while on RBNS: working at real jobs, slogging through grad school , raising a family, volunteering in our community, spending time with friends and yes, farting around on the internet. We do have lives apart from RBNS.

    • DirtyLakeMichigan says:

      Here read this:
      http://www.storyarts.org/library/aesops/stories/boy.html
      It may explain what you perceive as vitriol.

  84. Worrisome Pelts says:

    Will she do a Very Special In Memoriam Good Girl Gone Silent photopoop with Pickett Fence? Let’s hope so! Nothing says “in mourning for my long dead repuatation” like the weenus romper and a black veil, Cupcake!

  85. Fred Grott says:

    jobs Donkey tries out during lifecast sleep:

    -New Tech writer for TechCrunch.TV
    -Production intern for Jerry Springer
    -Late New reporters 24 News Chicago
    -HBS Grad student, if she can pass the entrance tests
    -Farm laborer for RussianGirl
    -NBC gopher-intern

  86. Julia's sideburns says:

    It will never cease to amaze me how so many girls look to Sex and the City for guidance on how to live their lives. How motherfucking stupid do you cunts have to be to actually think that a fictional tv show should be the example you should follow in your lives? The abundance of girls who think this way boggles the fucking mind. IT WAS A FICTIONAL TV SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Driveby Commenter says:

      I’m still pissed at Rodgers & Hammerstein for screwing up my head with Cinderella (the Lesley Ann Warren & Dr. Alan Quartermaine version).

    • I Just Bray says:

      A show about four drag queens written by a homo, no less!

    • Normal Healthy Julia That I Am Today says:

      A fictional show ten years ago that made NYC measurably crappier.

  87. Joe says:

    “I *DO* ignore the critics, absolutely” – riiiiiiiiiiiight…im pretty sure that’s why you write your blog, for attention, whether that be from your fans or critics, good or bad, you need and want a response. so here you go…no one cares

  88. Julia's ascent to 200 pounds says:

    It will never cease to amaze me how so many girls look to Sex and the City for guidance on how to live their lives. How motherfucking stupid do you cunts have to be to actually think that a fictional tv show should be the example you should follow in your lives? The abundance of girls who think this way boggles the fucking mind. IT WAS A FICTIONAL TV SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Sex and the City has done more harm to girls than anyone could ever imagine. The next decade or so is going to result in bat shit crazy girls like Julia Allison being strung out on drugs because they will finally realize when they are middle aged and alone with no dating/marriage prospects, how fucking dumb it was to base your life on a tv show. I can’t wait to see their lives unravel.

    • Fameball Wizard says:

      “Sex and the City has done more harm to girls than anyone could ever imagine.”

      It’s done more harm to the Great City of New York than anyone could ever imagine, too!

  89. johnny optional says:

    Blogs are an ideal format for a narcissist. Narcissists make good first impressions and fail to live up to expectations. The internet is ideal for picking up a load of transient ego strokers you never have to be real friends with.

    I doubt she is physically capable of living without being on the internet.

    Also “crisis about being 29”? What a fucking baby.

    • might as well jump says:

      Come on, 29 is still young enough to do a lot with your life, including YES snag a rich man if that is one of your life goals. If she were 39 going on 40, then maybe some crisis is in order, but even then, life can be rife with interesting possibilities. I say, drama queen–that’s all.

    • Julia's Fat Ass says:

      I predict GLOBAL NUCLEAR MELTDOWN when she turns 30. That’s what all this is about. She hasn’t landed a husband and in her eyes she’s officially “old.” What a cranky misguided slutbar she is.

    • Dahling says:

      Yes.

  90. AJ says:

    Ok, to Julia’s credit, good for her for calling it quits (if she actually is). It’s a move for self-preservation (if it’s not just yet another cry for attention), and in my opinion she should have done it years ago. That said, the self-righteous “I don’t owe you anything” stuff is ridiculous. When Julia decided to make “lifecasting” her business and Julia Allison her brand, she made a commitment, and that commitment was to overshare all the time – not just when it was convenient or enjoyable. Her content is the product and her readers are the consumers, and yes, she OWES them constant oversharing. It’s called a brand promise. IT’S CALLED A JOB. By all means, go get a 9-5 (or better yet, an 8-6, welcome to the REAL world), and see how it goes over when you tell your boss that you “don’t owe him anything.” Normal people are not beholden to share intimate details of their personal lives with strangers, but Julia not only chose to do it, she commoditized it (or attempted to) and begged, pleaded and campaigned for people to care. To then get indignant when she breaks her brand promise and her consumers start clamoring for her product – the very product she’s been pushing for years – that’s not just nuts, it’s bad business. Sheesh.

  91. sue says:

    u guys are a bunch of haters…Leave her alone she needs her time off..of course she’ll be back , she mentions it can b a week , months or whatever but stop it…

    • She's just stupid says:

      No.

    • what? says:

      You sound retarded.

    • Squirrelbait says:

      I used to type like you do; then I decided I didn’t want to mix concrete for a living.

    • Fred Grott says:

      sounds like a New Trier graduate to me

    • Johnny Optional says:

      I hate the excreble advice she gives to young women, telling them to treat men like walking wallets, to value their appearance beyond any other quality, to waste their money faking that appearance if their real selves doesn’t “measure” up. I hate that she constantly reinforces superficiality, insincerity, stupidity (math is hard!) and showing off.

      Don’t you hate it when some dumb idiot sets themselves up as an “expert” and gives damaging and prejudiced advice on something about which they know nothing?

      • hangonlikegrimdeath says:

        she’s actually on record somewhere (i think in a video) saying that very thing: “find a niche and declare yourself an expert!!!!”

    • Exhausted Drag Hag says:

      Don’t worry “sue.” Julesy left the internet so she’ll never see all of this.

    • Donkey Lewis And The News says:

      Leave Julia alooooooone!

    • DirtyLakeMichigan says:

      Sue-who?-bally-hoo,
      Jump off a bridge, ya’ big ole’ mooooooooo!!!

  92. Squirrelbait says:

    I guess spending your life looking for shortcuts and loopholes isn’t such a great idea. The tortoise will always get the last laugh, bunny!

    • might as well jump says:

      Yes ! I took the “long way” by entering a career in academic publishing right after college and then leaving NYC (alas) to pursue a job working with academic and some trade books on Africa. It hasn’t been easy — low income, suburbia (granted I’m close to NYC so I lucked out) and slow-paced career growth — but it has been totally worth the salt. I’m very happy with my career at the moment and hoping to pursue another, part-time. Shortcuts and loopholes are for con artists, I think.

      • might as well jump says:

        Yeah, and RBNS is my guilty pleasure — so shoot me!

      • DirtyLakeMichigan says:

        Hmmmm… wonder if you’re near me MAWJ. I’m near NYC too… relatively speaking for a cat-lady anyway.

      • hangonlikegrimdeath says:

        me too, might as well and dirty lake. i used to live in the city and then had to move to suburbia for marriage- child- and job-related reasons. miss the city bad, but i’m a grown-up so i can handly not getting exactly what i want in life. wonder if we’re in the same county?

      • DirtyLakeMichigan says:

        @holgd – hmmm.
        dlmichiganathotmaildotcom

  93. bitchface says:

    Oh, Julia!

  94. It's Always Shitty in Donkadelphia says:

    PARALLELS OF JULIA ALLISON TO GREEK TRAGEDY

    “If there were no Greeks greater than Amphioxus, then he would have been the greatest Greek of all.”
    ~ Idiocrates on Amphioxus

    “If there were no Bloggers greater than Donkey, then she would have been the greatest Blogger of all.”
    ~ It’s Always Shitty in Donkadelphia on Julia Allison

    Despite his lifelong fear of falling into a fatal illness, Amphioxus lived to a ripe old age. On his 95th birthday he was celebrating in a little Greek tavern with a few friends. He stepped outside to relieve himself and a donkey’s hindquarter falling from the meat shop above the tavern broke his neck. Idiocrates wrote that Amphioxus was the only man in history to be killed by a falling piece of ass.

    Despite her lifelong fear of falling into Diabetic Coma and Sleep Apnea, Donkey may well live into the ripe old age of her looks (45) despite her relentless diet of cupcakes and BPC. On her 29th birthday she was celebrating in a geek tavern with her frenemies. Never stepping outside her head to consider anyone else, she has since become the first woman in online history to be killed by her own failing piece of ass.

  95. LeaveMyCollegeAlone says:

    So she’s basically admitting that NonSociety failed.

    • liy's 3rd eye says:

      Yeah, I’m just wondering what Szish and Megan think of this. Esp. Szish, who seems like she does NOT take prisoners when it comes to her career- and who most likely heard this news at 7AM this morning on the way to her second SO VERY IMPORTANT IT NEEDS TO BE EXHAUSTIVELY DOCUMENTED apparel segment on morning TV.

    • Normal Healthy Julia That I Am Today says:

      Noooooo she achieved everything she could have wanted AND MORE.

      Much like Oprah, she took NS and TMI to higher heights that possibly imagined. And having conquered media, NYC, sisterhood, and the color pink, she will now step away in victory, to regroup.

  96. I'm guessing it's biology says:

    In order to FIND A HUSBAN HOLY SHIT I NEED A HUSBAND, she cannot be on the internet. Simple as that.

    • No Money Peltskank says:

      But: “All of the cliches about women and biology rang true for me”. Internet or not, she KANT help it!!! The cliches she so willingly helped to sustain and spread have taken over!!!!11!1!

  97. None Society says:

    Wow! At $4 a word, that $6,500 she just earned. Screw those gift cards!

    • None Society says:

      Also: “I stand in photos and smile and pretend my life is just perfect”

      And then “I am not perfect – I never claimed I was”

  98. sue says:

    Assholes..hahaha

  99. liy's 3rd eye says:

    And deep in Cabos, Jordan cackles as she downs her first (celebratory) shot of the day.

  100. Scary Sadshaw meets Whitley Marion Gilbert Wayne says:

    Why does she put such importance on SATC?????

    Carrie i.e. SJP: Married to the same man for years with three kids. Questionable on his heterosexuality.

    Samantha i.e. Kim: Single. Thinks Roman Polanski is a good human being.

    Charlotte i.e. Kristen: Single Nude pics on a toilet released. Largest movie role outside of SATC…”The Shaggy Dog”.

    Miranda i.e. Cynthia: 2 kids and a lesbian with a troll of a wife.

    Ok so tell me again why women aspire to be them???

    • SATC Hater says:

      So if you’re married with kids, or single, or a lesbian with a wife that some people find unattractive, you are not a worthy role model? Defending Roman Polanski and nude toilet pics aside, I don’t find the women playing the characters objectionable. In fact they have managed to work together really well and seem to actually like each other outside the show.

      It’s the fictional characters who need to jump off a fucking bridge.

  101. bishplease says:

    SO LAME GAWKER .

    I felt bad for her.
    Now it’s painfully obvious she’s doing it for attention.
    Also her tranny makeup is melting and she is pouting because Jordan has a fresh new website (albeit such a lame one)

    Spotlight guys! back on me!!

    *how do I do that? Oh yea!! Gotta surprise everyone… how about an actual post! combine that with a post about me leaving! that will shock everyone! double yea.*

    and now fucking gawker writes another ode to julia. fuck you gawker.

    • Honestly? I think she forwarded her quitting the internet post to Gawker after she wrote it, because the first post went up within minutes after she posted it, and I doubt their night person, whoever it is spends the dead of the night glued to her blerg.

      • totaljing says:

        I will say this. Owen is in Julia Allison’s court. He was at the SF leg of her birthday. When he worked at Gawker, he and I had discussed something pseudo related to Julia (via email—we are not friends, I believe that I wrote to him re: a story he ran). I mentioned disliking Julia and he forwarded my email to Julia.

        Just saying.

      • DirtyLakeMichigan says:

        TJ – Really? He. forwarded. your. email???? Is this the world of modern-media and fame?
        Wow! I would totally suck at it.
        Makes me glad I’m a suburban fuckerty-dopey-dorkitatious-lemming!!!

    • Fred Grott says:

      Julia emailed Owen at gawker..

      • Owen doesn’t work at Gawker anymore.

      • Fred Grott says:

        that is why the 2nd gawker post took so long 🙂

      • flatface says:

        The other thing about Gawker (and just about every other media outlest who covers her) is that they still refer to her as an oversharer. They still refer to her blog as unfiltered. Every profile of her says that: that she really opens up and lets it all fly on her blog.

        She never did that. She was a dating cilumnist who never wrote a scene-steer about a date. She was sexualy provavcative in photos: but she never wrote one word about her real sex life, or even about desire and lust and stuff. This form somoeone pretty failry acquainted with cheating and the things lust can get you.
        She announced her experiement as a pioneering internet buisnes. But never let people look behind the curtain. At how the money is made. Or how her shitshow TMI was made. Or how to set up the site.

        She also didn’t give her feelings about anything, beyon exclamation point-riddled “I like this” crap. She didn’t reflect on media. Or NYC or men or love. Just empty greeting card slogans. She din’t “show” anything as a witer. She told. For someone who armed themselves with words, video and still-pictures and claimed to work 24/7 she managed to show remarkably little of her life or the world around her.

        Other reporters describe her, and she describes herself, as a relentless networking. But we never hot her take on that. She never explained how she met someone in media or what they were like. People would just suddenly appear – Ms. So-and-So from some magazine or tv show (that most of us never saw or heard of). And they were presneted as metors or pals or longtime friends or whatever. And then, usually, they would disappear.

        She didn’t show the world anything real. She tried to craft a show somewhat base don he rown life. But as every teenage would-be short story writer knows, if you don’t put al the chips on the table, you’re story is not going to ring true. Her “show” such as it was, was dishonest in the truest sense of the word. As performance art is was undeniably bad art, juvenile art. Immature art, with little though given to its execution and an ignorance of its own context that was embarassing.
        But Gawker et al will continue to act as if she is the example of somone living on-line. Putting it all out there. Because, I guess, they wish someone would try that? I don’t know. But she isn’t the one who did that.

      • It's Always Shitty in Donkadelphia says:

        Owen’s at VentureBeat.

      • dd says:

        You’re right Flatface. Someone else said this, but I’ll say it again.. the stuff that could be interesting about her life – the fights with Mary and why Jordan left – is the stuff that she keeps private. No wonder she never got her coveted reality show. You can’t declare “I am going to make fuck you money” and then get mad when people ask “how do you plan to make that money?”

    • Jacy says:

      Bishplease, you are so right. This is another attention-getting ploy in addition to an attempt to get Prom King to reconsider dumping her.

      Everything — EVERYTHING — with this chick is a game.

    • I dunno, I think Gawker is ripping her a pretty big one those top 25 JA moments. Seeing them all in one list really shows how vapid and whorish she is. I know JA’s a huge attention whore and all, but that still can’t feel good to see all your “accomplishments” compiled together like that.

      Also it must be torture for her to be reading the comments and not to be able to jump in without getting called out for returning to the internet.

      • liy's 3rd eye says:

        It MUST be torture. The same way I’m getting cracked out clicking here. But she needs it because she needs to Put. The. Fameball. Down. After the first withdrawal, the cravings will fade!

  102. flatface says:

    I always knew this day would come. And sometimes I’d try to imagine it. There were honestly times I thought it would end with the polcie being called to her apartment at quarter-to-four in the morning. And then them calling an ambulance. And then it leaving for a pscych ward with her in the back. All reported a couple days late ron Gawker.

    How it really ended? One of her besties and “employees” quit after being driven nuts by her annual “bi-coastal birthday party”. Then she redobled her posts. Of her dog and of the disewalk. And then she goe sonline an dtries to sell the gift cards from expensive nyc shops that are basically the only compensation her webcasting business sees. And then? She goes on twitter to defend that pathetic move.
    Two days later, shortly after 3 am, she rites one ofher semi-annual long posts annouoncing her retirement.

    Sadder, smaller and less dignified than I could have ever hoped for.

    • bettedavis says:

      I’ll echo other commenters: I hope for her sake she stays the fuck away. Sure, she’s a moron and doesn’t see that she did this to herself — who knows what she’s thinking right now? — and I would never expect her to acknowledge her role in this spectacular downfall.

      As much as I have fun on this site, I don’t want to see her back in a month, waxing philosophical about what she’s learned. Today will be a personal victory for her if she stays gone, for good. I don’t give a fuck what she does with her life as long as she doesn’t resurface. This monster got out of control, and she needs to let it die. Don’t come back, Julia. Don’t post cryptic quotes. Don’t tweet. Bury it now.

    • liy's 3rd eye says:

      Honestly? Given her actual fragility? I’m glad she didn’t do herself real bodily harm.

  103. Crapatarian says:

    Julia,

    Go home to Chicago. Live in your parents condo. Run, don’t walk, over to Northwestern Memorial, get a hold of one of their psychiatrists and work shit out. I’m talking meds and talk therapy 4 times a week. If he is taking patients, call Dr. Ronald Krasner.

    Do not write on the internet until you get your shit straight.

    The End.

  104. bitchface says:

    *shrug* and the world went on…… you were a quaint diversion JA. I’ll hold a fond place in my black heart for ye.

  105. It's Always Shitty in Donkadelphia says:

    Wonder what her out-of-state / country besties are up to …

    “@FloreatMagdalen @juliaallison Yes,
    yes, YES. Let’s start brainstorming!”

    about 1 hours ago via Echofon in reply to FloreatMagdalen

    I suppose internat’l intervention is too much to hope for …

  106. J.C. says:

    i’m torn. i say good for her for taking a much needed brake from the public crazy. then again, i think it’s odd she would up and quite her “business” like that with little notice. it does seem to prove nonsociety was never the end-game and that the ultimate desire was television (reality or a hosting gig). nonsociety was just a front to keep her seemingly in the public eye while waiting for the tv break that never came to fruition. all in all, i give this entire spectacle a big, fat meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh.

  107. Mini Driver says:

    So, I’m friends with a few bipolar people, and like a host of other Ribness Catladies, have long suspected Julia of being afflicted with said disorder. Gawker linked this NonSociety post of hers, which dates to two years ago this month. I think the timing is really telling.

    Changes of season, for some neurotransmitter reason that is beyond my expertise, are really hard on bipolar people. My bipolar friends are hardest to deal with in spring and fall. One of them correctly diagnosed Britney Spears as bipolar (before she came out as such) just by going through a news archive and noting that her bizarre behavior followed a four-month cycle.

    Gawker unearthing that almost-exactly two-year-old post really tears it for me. If I were JAB, I’d go through my complete archive and try to chart mood patterns, then present that information to a psychiatrist. I wonder if she is yet at the point where she realizes that coping methods she’s already ruled out for whatever reason (regular exercise, mood-stabilizing pharmaceuticals) might be her only salvation. I don’t think religion is going to do it for her, although churching up can’t hurt. Someone needs to tell her that ashrams are for Hindus, though, who probably wouldn’t think much of her celebrating Easter.

    I don’t know what my point is. I think that maybe, just maybe, she has reached the point where the pain of change exceeds the pain of keeping on the course she’s on. I just think of how much time she must spend staring at her own reflection (those individual false eyelashes don’t glue themselves on, you know) and I feel immense sorrow for her. I know that her agony is self-inflicted, but I also feel immense sorrow for drunks and cutters. With few exceptions, I don’t think anyone here revels in her misery. We just want her to understand its wellspring.

    • Fred Grott says:

      I think she got ashrams and hookas mixed up..

      • Donkey Lewis And The News says:

        Sounds like she got “ashram” confused with “ass-ram”… sounds like donk just needs to get laid! (Forgive me for the mental images)

    • It's Always Shitty in Donkadelphia says:

      I thought you were going somewhere else w/ this, when I 1st started reading it, Mini.

      I have a relative that’s bi-polar & he experiences every two-years, like clockwork, a cessations of efficacy of his meds ~ when it happens, he goes in-patient & gets sorted out on new meds.

      Maybe Donkey already maintains on b-p meds? That could explain the bloat (my relative deals w/ that as a side-effect of his meds); also makes me wonder when her AZ ‘spa’ vacation was (fat farm, w/e) …

      Oh, & BTW ~ it was during a religious retreat (damn near cult-like) that my relative’s b-p was triggered.

    • yikes says:

      If anyone is a pysch student (or a catlady without a job), that might be a good empirical study. You could code her posts over a certain period as sad, happy, or neutral and then examine the timeline of them.

    • dd says:

      You may be right. I dated a bipolar guy and the change from winter to spring was VERY hard on him. The fact that she had a similar breakdown this time last year is very telling as well. This would also explain why Julia is still able to rope some people into her web (until they eventually come to their senses). Some people with BP are VERY charming and personable at first. With my ex, everyone that met him absolutely adored him at first. Even after we broke up, I still did favors for him while he jerked me around. And I am not easily jerked around. I am a nasty-sad-adult-catlady who mistrusts and hates everyone, but damn my bipolar ex had a way about him that made me feel sorry for him. It was weird.

    • elvisandalabama says:

      I am bipolar and I can account for the rough seasonal transitions. Spring and Summer are usually manic times (i.e. more distantly social relationships vs. genuine ones, alcohol benders, partying like a rockstar, cheating on whoever I’m dating, failing at responsible life, etc.). Fall and Winter are depressive times (no partying, just sulking). Donkasaurus has a mixed bag – she should def see a doctor and really apply herself is she wants to get better.

    • Paradigm Shifting A-HA Moment says:

      mini driver,

      i hope you had the decency to demand a macbook air before you posted this…

  108. Good Thoughts says:

    But…but, I had so been looking forward to this year’s Easter-whore ensemble.

    • No Money Peltskank says:

      If she were able to plan ahead, I’d say she did this to punish us for being mean to her.

  109. MinnietheMoocher, Inc. says:

    What time is it in NYC? Almost 2:30? And still no response from Julia’s “sisters” about her blog suicide. Interesting.

    • Normal Healthy Julia That I Am Today says:

      Not only no response, but no posts whatsoever. Meaningless on Meg’s side, but Katrina has been posting quite frequently.

      It’s done, people.

  110. None Society says:

    I really think we should get a pool going as to when she returns, like a Super Bowl pool, with half the proceeds going to Komen.

    • Jacy says:

      I want to do it. Help me think of a good way to set it up.

      • Fred Grott says:

        jacy survey monkey?

      • None Society says:

        I just emailed you.

        Also, you can make the timeframe max out at 3 weeks. so for julia to raise $x,000 for Komen, all she would have to do is STFU for 3 weeks.

        It’s a great way to call her out on her imminent hypocrisy and raise money.

  111. It's Always Shitty in Donkadelphia says:

    THE FRISKY
    “Writing About Your Personal Life Online, A Cautionary Tale”

    Nothing there not already covered here ~ I wonder if Donkey will now call a three-way tie between RBNS, Gawker & The Frisky for ruining her life & her theme-dates …

  112. Burra Fea says:

    Went to NS and found this part which isn’t included here on RBNS: “I fell in love, got heartbroken, fell in lust, got heartbroken, dated and loved, dated and liked, dated, dated, and finally fell in love again. At this point my heart is so battle weary and scarred I can’t even tell if it’s broken or intact, but I’m leaning towards broken.”

    That’s her own confirmation that PK dumped her right?

    • Normal Healthy Julia That I Am Today says:

      I think that was added. I copied and pasted the original late last night and it isn’t there.

      So she tinkered with it and added that.

    • mistersparklecupcake says:

      i am not seeing that part… is it in the long post from last night?

    • mistersparklecupcake says:

      doh, found it (i usually ignore any text that has a bunch of hot pink links in it)

      this is the new paragraph she inserted into the opener:

      I did these strange, sometimes hilarious, sometimes awful things called lipdubs. I filmed over 100 episodes of a little show called TMIweekly. I got a tattoo. I fell in love, got heartbroken, fell in lust, got heartbroken, dated and loved, dated and liked, dated, dated, and finally fell in love again. At this point my heart is so battle weary and scarred I can’t even tell if it’s broken or intact, but I’m leaning towards broken.

  113. Normal Healthy Julia That I Am Today says:

    I predict she’ll resurface within weeks, on a new blerg with that button quote as a tagline. There will be all new photos of her dressed all in white, doing fauxga. She will claim to no longer wear makeup (there will be a tell-tale orange line at her jaw). She will write posts about mind-body-spirit balance proclaiming her end of materialism and vanity (with photos of her staring into mid-distance in nature). Her twitter will stalk the editors of wellness and fauxga magazines. She will pitch a yoga and spa world tour.

    This is will go on for three weeks. She will be mocked, and then some bight around 3am, she will break and tearfully write/vlog about how misunderstood she is and that it is actually Jordan and Meg(h)an’s fault. She will then reveal something horribly private about one of them.

    Rinse and repeat.

    • No Money Peltskank says:

      Oh, living spiritually, I like it!
      And it makes complete sense that she would discover the find yourself and happiness with $ 8000 yoga mats cow after it has been milked dry by almost everybody else. Maybe she could also do something involving chicken soup.

      • Normal Healthy Julia That I Am Today says:

        Maybe something bracingly fresh and original like:

        More Than Chicken Soup and Yoga for the Domestic Glam Tech Carrie Bradshaw.

        Tagline: Like The View with women in their teens and twenties, but instead of several hosts its ME ME ME. STILL IN MY TWENTIES. ME. Namaste, baby!

    • Lars Von New Trier says:

      Yeah, you’re probably right; she’ll try to be Gwyneth instead of Oprah. But Goop is taken as a name. How about Poop?

  114. natface says:

    This reminds me of that scene in Iron Man where the money dude goes “A weapons company that doesn’t make weapons?! Great business plan!” And then smashes a cup or something.

    And that cup was my father.

  115. Scooby Don't says:

    Always one step behind on those cultural trends is our donkey.

    Emo is so passe.

  116. Whoops says:

    I’m registered for her class (the Learning Annex one) because curiosity got the best of me. It’s supposed to be in 2 weeks. I wonder if she’ll cancel?

  117. Anthony says:

    INTERNET – 1
    Julia Allison – 0

    The internet ALWAYS wins!!!

  118. anonypuss says:

    And nothing of value was lost.

    • KrakenSkulls says:

      yes. in lieu of a funny, brayge-ful post i’ll write later, i’ll just offer this for now–

      Don’t let the inter-door hit you in the ass on the way out, you stupid donkey. I hope you take up cutting as a new hobby.

  119. worrisome cupcake says:

    The thing is, I don’t actually want to see Julia crash and burn; I’m not that mean-spirited. I like to believe that there’s hope of redemption for even the looniest, most narcissistic donkeys. I, for one, will be extremely disappointed if she just takes a break and comes back as the same self-centered, braying idiot. As I said before, blogging is her career, so she should continue, but with a different focus. It’s really effing boring looking at photos of airport gates and cappucinos. This is her chance!! Volunteer and blog about it, learn to cook at home and blog about it…. act like a real, normal person who makes mistakes and write about it openly and honestly. Stop chasing fame blindly, because you will never be happy Julia.

    What are the chances of a new and improved Julia? A girl can hope, no?

  120. Sloopy says:

    I’m a little late to the Donkey game, but I’d never heard mention of her faith before. Interesting that she spotlighted it so prominently in one of her many good-bye posts. Then it occurred to me: maybe she’s setting the stage for a comeback at the head of Julia Allison Ministries? It would be perfect for her scammy ways, and it’s a great tax dodge!

  121. June says:

    Julia can’t find a city that fits “her” because she’s made everybody hate her in all of them.

  122. HaHaHa says:

    So has this site succeeded in knocking her off line?

    Why does she have to make a big announcement about it? She might be back in a week or two.

  123. M says:

    What a cliche!

  124. FaFail Waldorf says:

    Yawn. Except, also, no no no, bitch, you don’t get to blame New York because you can’t hack it. It’s not New York that has made everyone hate you, including yourself.

  125. stupid foreign lawyer says:

    There is nothing wrong with Julia that cannot be fixed with twice-a-week therapy sessions and a 20mg a day prescription for Lexapro. Apart from the bowlegs, ofcourse.

  126. Bipolar Ex says:

    Even Jake Lodwick quit a few days back and his last post is cryptic in a way!
    Is Julia trying to get back to him … the “reevaluate” bit?
    http://jakelodwick.tumblr.com/

  127. LLFOOLJ says:

    K peeps, if you’re around..come into chat because I just figured out how PK and JA got together. Not *exactly* a matchmaker, but close! 😉 If you can’t come now will repeat later buuut yea just FYI for anyone interested. 😀

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