Julia Allison Is Gonna Get Her Parent Meetin On

Yo yo YO! Julia “Yeeeeh DAWG” Allison is out to flossy fly wid da Chap’rones! Also known as Prom Kizzing’s sickazz parents yawl!

Meeting Prom King’s parents at dinner tonight. I’m excited, nervous, and I have absolutely NO IDEA WHAT TO WEAR. Help!! about 4 hours ago via web

Sheeeit yaw, not like dat shizzle is da highlight oh her night! DAMN she gots other plans cuz she be BIZZY and IMPOTINT yall:

Power walking to my math tutor, ready to get my thinking on. ๐Ÿ˜‰ about 3 hours ago via Echofon

Dat’s RITE she gonna THINK yall. Up in her HEADZ! I dunno where she get the TIME, gurl even gifted a shout out to her grizzurl K-Sheesh.

I lay down cold fly dough that the oldz totelee think J-Dawg is WIGGITY WACK. YOU GO GIRL!!!!

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42 Responses to Julia Allison Is Gonna Get Her Parent Meetin On

  1. Princess WideStance says:

    Up in her HEADZ!

    This is very appropriate. And fucking funny.

  2. New Year New You says:

    Poor baby, walking, mathing, thinking, 3 tweets, all in one day. She gonna be too tired to meet Mr and Mrs Prom a Lot. I mean she’s been working like a donkey for months, I don’t know how she does it all.

  3. l8rh8rs says:

    It’s like a Country Club Skipper torso was screwed onto a big-boned Barbie bottom.

  4. Was this written by Herbert Kornfeld in accounting??

  5. juliafoolia says:

    THAT’S RACIST! You knew I’d deliver, gurl.

  6. Blueprint Abominations says:

    Donk diggity donk diggity donk donk donk.
    That is all.

  7. kaka manna says:

    I want to bring Wiggity Wack back!

  8. AnnaPelt Is Happy at 138 says:

    I predict she will wear something wildly inappropriate!

    Gettin’ my psychic on.

  9. Loren Feldman says:

    Funny. I love these.

  10. partypants says:

    I found the tweet funny because everything is such an OMG CRISIS for her. Just put on an appropriate length skirt that doesn’t look like you just left ice dancing class. Nude hose. Normal pumps. Maybe a tasteful sweater without rhinestones or a Tiny Toons character on it. Brush your pelts, and put on some lipgloss and calm the fuck down.

    Why is everything so hard for her?

  11. Loren Feldman says:

    Sorry, Just noticed the empty whiteboard. Classic.

  12. Dr. Gary says:

    I feel like gettin’ mah chat on yo! Anyone else?

    Juliafoolia! You big slut…get your fanny in the chat room.

  13. reformed says:

    oh SH!T. this is probably better for GOMI but i just LOL at how EVERYTHING donk touches turns to dust.

  14. kaka manna says:

    Well, if Momma PK googles “Julia Allison”, her Gawker lingerie photos & condom fairy pictures come up straightaway! But she’ll probably introduce herself by her nom de plume, Juliet Baugher, anyhow.

  15. New Year New You says:

    And look what Sheesh is talking about on the teevees tonight:

    “flabby arms and fashion crimes”.

    Hmm mmm, what it is, what it do.

  16. I Spy says:

    pics or it didn’t happen.

  17. It's just me says:


  18. Sacred Scrapbooks says:

    Poll: this dinner happened because

    A. Julia wanted to meet his family.
    B. He wanted to introduce her to his parents.
    C. His parents are worried.

    • Jewbilation says:

      D. All of the above

    • New Year New You says:

      E. Julia likes a free meal.
      F. Julia needs to marry rich so she can continue sitting on her fat ass doing nothing all day.
      G. This dinner didn’t happen at all. Only in Julia’s mind/tweets.

  19. Jewlia says:

    I’m sure the mom will love that her wealthy son is dating a money grubbing shiksa! Will she convert!?!?! I’m guessing yes, yes, a million times yes (depending on ring size that is)!

  20. That'll do, donkey says:

    juliaallison: Oh, wow. I would marry Prom King just to have his parents as my in-laws. They are AWESOME.
    2 minutes ago from Echofon

    Translation: I won’t marry you because I like you, but I will marry you because your parents are loaded. Note, if you ask me before my brother’s wedding I will definitely say yes. OK!!??!!

    • bitchface says:

      obviously they’re stupid. They don’t even know how to google “Julia Allison”

    • No Money Peltskank says:

      Hey! That’s two marry hims in less than two days! And none because of him as a person! Great! With any other guy I would say that’s got to send him running for the hills any moment, but he obviously is an idiot, so there might be hope for the wedding planners among us.

  21. Jewlia says:

    That’s TWICE she’s mentioned marrying him today. Good thing she’s totally head-over-heels-can’t-live-without-him in love!!!! Mazel Tov!!

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