Julia: So Generous

I just bought these yellow tulips at the Union Square green market to thank Prom King for Aspen …

Wow. What did those set her back, 10 bucks?

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118 Responses to Julia: So Generous

  1. Web20Morons says:

    A man wants a blowjob, maybe a rim job, not fucking tulips. You stupid fucking twat.

    Oh the stabbies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Jacy says:

      I almost wrote that, I truly did, but did not want to perpetuate male stereotypes.

      But for fuck’s sake, Donkey: Blow the man. Repeatedly. Two or three times a day for weeks. Be sure to lick his balls.

      • Hangonlikegrimdeath says:

        She doesn’t get men. She views them like Disney princes….basically just extras in the pretty princess’ life. They are there to serve, to give, to save, to buy shit. She knows she should thank this guy but she has no idea how to do it.

      • DSM-V: JFA edition says:

        This times infinity. Tulips? Poor f’ing wallet thing….

    • HaHaHa says:

      And don’t spit it out either!

    • AnnaPelt Is Happy at 138 says:

      a gift of tulips for a man is pretty fucking unbelievable.

      They’ll be dead within weeks. Sad.com!

    • ethel-egg says:

      Since I stopped being a slut my excellent rack is going to waste.

      JULIA ALLISON’S DUMB BOYFRIEND – GET IN TOUCH! YO! I’m in New Zealand but whatevvvver.

    • Belle says:

      Maybe sex isn’t the only good gift for a man. There’s booze, food, tix to a sporting event…something…but not freaking flowers. What a nut job.

    • yikes says:

      as the male reader of this site, let me just say you ladies are great.

  2. Princess WideStance says:

    Every time this twat gives some little thing to someone, she has to fucking tell the whole world about it. THAT MAY BE ONE OF THE WORST THINGS ABOUT HER.

  3. Aw Shoot Shrek says:

    “Aren’t I NICE?? Isn’t he a LUCKY guy??” Donkey, your NPD is showing as hard as your VPLs in those skin tight H&M snow pants.

  4. juliajane says:

    Ugh. Why didn’t she buy something her boyfriend would actually enjoy? Something personal?… Unless of course he recently mentioned he wanted flowers, but I highly doubt it.

  5. worrisome cupcake says:

    Didn’t his Valentine say that blow jobs are like flowers to men? I don’t think he wants the tulips, donk.

  6. bowleggeddonkey says:

    Julia has inspired me again. Instead of writing a check for the taxes I owe this year I’ll just send them tulips. They’re Julia’s currency!

  7. Julia's Too Small Tutu says:

    I took Julia Allison and her friends on an all expenses paid trip to _____ and all I got were these cheap _____.

    PK, make a macro of this, you’re going to be using it a lot.

  8. donks not bonks says:

    OMG! Tulips! I never thought she was really this clueless- what guy wants flowers, let alone fucking TULIPS? Wonder what she’s getting him to thank him for letting her crash at his place in NY too.

  9. Jordan Reid-Tard says:

    What she meant to say is, “I got MYSELF these yellow tulips to thank myself for being so special.”

    • Ineffable says:

      My thoughts exactly. “Oh pretty flowers, but I don’t have a home except for Prom King’s.”

  10. Sacred Scrapbooks says:

    Prom King gives Julia a musical thank you for her generous gift:


  11. Grimace says:

    Still waiting to hear how much she personally donated to Komen on behalf of her “charity” birthday.

  12. Jacy says:

    Love this. Bourdain: “I hate cupcakes. I hate people who like cupcakes.”


  13. Julia's Fat Ass says:

    I hate her so much I feel it behind my eyeballs!!!!!

  14. It's just me says:

    I see people talking about a blowjob card from Vday? What is this?

    • zandra says:

      on v-day he gave her a card that read something like, “blowjobs are flowers for men!” and showed a pic of a dude giving his girl flowers.

      translated: if she doesn’t put out I AM OUTTA HERE. (for most guys.. PK is still wasting his money for some reason.)

      • Mini Driver says:

        Wait, did she actually blog/tweet about this?! It sure sounds like the kind of thing I would remember and that would come up more often around here.

      • Snorting Caviar in Aspen says:

        She posted a pic of the card & dresses on his bed ~ someone found the larger version of the card & posted it (or link) on here, then donkey changed out pic on her blog to one that didn’t include the VD card (as best I recall, but I think that sums it up).

  15. Julia's Fat Ass says:

    Alright PK, we need to talk. Why are you with this She-demon? She calls you fucking “prom king,” for one. It’s not cute, it’s to make me vomit. Also, she doesn’t show your face not to protect you, but because she’s embarrassed of you. Also, she’s fat now. Seriously can you please grow some scrotum?

  16. Aspen > Tulips says:

    Also, yellow = friendship. Ouch.

  17. Carrie Bradshaw Waldorf Charlotte Tinsley McCain says:

    Whoa is he.

  18. New Year New You says:

    He said “I want two lips as recompense for the trip.”
    In typical Julia Allison style contortion, that’s what he got.
    Julia Allison, funny and cute. Loves word play.

  19. Where is this dude’s balls?

  20. poo says:

    I would never give my boyfriend flowers. They’re something you give to your friends or perhaps your boyfriend’s parents as a thank you. This is just weird.

  21. Exhausted Drag Hag says:

    All of her “thank you’s” to him are things that she’d like to get. See: photo album, post it notes and now the fully emasculating tulips.

    Dudes don’t want any of that shit!

  22. someproblems says:

    Aw, come on guys, she’s just sprucing up their apartment a bit.

  23. Birthbray Princess says:

    It could have been worse, y’all; she could have given him a fruit basket.

  24. bitchface says:

    the file names of the images are funny too… tee hee (big spender)

    I wonder if Julia is very. angry. that she did not get to do the pageant rounds as a child. She seems to be reliving all that she missed out in her childhood.

  25. No Rest Till Incest says:


    Further evidence are these f’ing flowers. They are simply for whatever shit-hole Dadser has to pay for at the present time.

    Seriously, think: She’s still Julia Donkey. She still knows what it takes to please a man (or get a private ride home on a jet from Davos, but I digress) and pleasing a man is NOT flowers.

    PK is a concocted entity to support her ‘brand’. This is all about the Julia ‘brand’. How else would she get that ridic Sony spot if she did not keep up appearances?

    • dd says:

      Yes. Correct.

    • New Year New You says:

      Agreed. The donkey may be involved with some poor twit idiot man somewhere along the line. But the whole Prom King Enterprise is made up.

    • Ginger Sans Pelts says:

      Who’s funding this fuckery then? Dadsers? Grandma Baugher?

      I doubt Donkey’s pitiful income would allow her to fly her friends to Aspen, rent a new, bigger place and afford all the other crap “PK” bought for her.

  26. liy's 3rd eye says:

    From JA’s twitter:
    “Love’s ingredients: “Affection, Respect, Admiration, Empowerment, Loyalty, Intimacy and Appreciation”

    Which very clearly came from:
    1. googling ” Are you in love?”
    2. finding this creeeepy website.
    3. signing up for it and reading it.

    Here’s the facts JA: If you have to google it, you ain’t in love.

  27. Dadser Wants 2 Watch says:

    Lily’s 3rd Eye:
    1. You beat me to it
    2. Brilliant intuition that (i) Donktang has zero originality so it must be poached (ii) you noticed the quotations, hence the lack of legal liability
    3. Further evidence PK doesn’t exist: She retweets approx an hour ago that she cannot use PK’s TV (is she ‘there’ – if ‘there’ existed, which I doubt it does) and then 30 mins later this stupid ‘love’ thing – so she’s checking their love quotient at his place – psycho

    No BJs. Flowers. And a fucked up Google search.

    Wow. You’re a catch Donktessa.

  28. high and wasted skirt says:

    Anyone else get the sense that their relationship is in the toilet? She tweets and then deletes a quote from her ex that she “probem solves in the most ridiculous way…” Translation: “Dannn, My new boyfriend is mad at me! What should I do? Oh, I know! Tulips!! But first, let me post this convo so he knows he has competition, mmmkay?” Oh and she spent the night in her own apartment. Annnnd after wallet thing complained about her tweet, she adorably lamented how much she wants she was back in aspen because life is so tough in the big city… I’m no private eyesore like julzers, but I can see red flags. Hipster Lawyer is going to reappear in about 2 weeks.

    • Carrie Bradshaw Waldorf Charlotte Tinsley McCain says:

      From middle of the night liecast and twitter:

      “Okay, seriously, WTF vitamins does Demi Moore ingest every morning??? Because if this is what a younger man does to you, I’m marrying Prom King next week.”

      “Missing Prom King right now.”


      • Fauxga Party! says:

        She should really block her own internet late at night because The Crazy comes roaring out. Yes, Demi Moore married a magical fountain of youth, it’s not that she has had thousands of dollars of plastic surgery.

        I hope she misses him because they’ve broken up — and because I’m a bitch, that’s why.

      • No Rest Till Incest says:

        Answer: She reads RBNS. And she’s head cheerleaders of Krazy.

      • melissa sue says:

        how fuck?! why would she even assume he wants to marry her cray cray ass??

      • Julia's Fat Ass says:

        Oh, I love that. Did he ASK you yet, demento?

  29. high and wasted skirt says:

    Wasn’t kendrick his high school prom king, or at least homecoming king? She’s so obvious. She things life-casting means fishing for taken men. Now if only she could fit kendrick or brant into the doggy carrier like the canybars from her klepto college days…

  30. Normal Healthy Julia That I Am Today says:

    Pink Palace subletted?

    Have you guys talked about this? Today Jules tweeted:
    “Woke up wondering where I was. Turns out: in my own apartment, which I haven’t seen for about three months.”

    But on February 22, she blerged, “I’m staying at his place (which I probably do 6 out of 7 nights of the week since I returned from St. Barths).”

    People here definitely noticed the lack of pinkpalace photos and suspected dadsers came to town to help her move, etc. But tonight she claims to be there.

    I think she subletted the palace for $. Which– don’t get me wrong– people do all the time, fine great, whatever. It’s just so obviously she didn’t blerg it because it’s beneath her image, etc.

    What the F subletted that dollhouse ‘o’ psychosis?

  31. ugh says:

    just saw her oscar fashion roundup and had to laugh at what she said about Miley. she has a tiny waist and a pretty collarbone! how is a collarbone pretty? Is it because it’s jutting out since Miley does not know how to stand up straight??

    • canklasaurus says:

      She wants that dress in the most inappropriate way. Donks needs to realize she is not a teen and could never pull that dress off. She has curves and boobs which means she is an adult already. Teenager clothing is cut for teens with no chests and no curves.

      • Mini Driver says:

        Miley’s dress superficially resembles a longer version of Julia’s NYE dress — a tight, shiny, cream bustier top with a tone-matched chiffon skirt.

        Personally, I think Miley’s dress would’ve been more appropriate on a woman in her 20s than a teenager, but it fits in with the rest of Miley’s inappropriateness (pole-dancing, posing lying on her dad’s lap with his hand on her bare midriff, appearing in Vanity Fair wearing nothing but a sheet, etc.)

  32. Ginger Sans Pelts says:

    OT, but the most recent episode of House was about a craycray “lifecaster”/crowdsourcer and it made me think of Jankles.

  33. don´t mind me says:

    Tulips on his organ are better than four roses on his piano.

  34. DirtyLakeMichigan says:

    OK… please look at JA’s coverage of the red-carpet gowns. Please-o-please look at what she writes under Demi Moore’s dress as a comment.
    She’s also allowing ‘comments’ on Miley’s dress. Won’t be published of course.

  35. preacherjim says:

    Today’s meditation: Is “gaying it up about the Oscars” to blogs as “jumping the shark” is to TeeVee shows?

    Have we crossed over the top of the mountain and are we descending into the looooooooooow valley on t’other side?!?

    Or is the disgusting commentary herein what you have to expect every once in a while when you give editorial control to a wine-ette and a fairy?

    Talks of oral sex and other atrocities!! Why, this is…this…is…[sputter sputter] an abomination to the LO-URD!! ON YOUR KNEES HEATHERNS!!

    Have a blessed day.

  36. diluted brain says:

    Donkey’s last twitter really makes me laugh how she is missing Prom King right now… I’d respect her more if she said I am missing John right now. It’s not like his first name would give it away. It’s just woman you are a bad dress away from thirty – act like it!!!!!!

    • Scooby Don't says:

      As long as Julia is involved with this schmuck she will never drop the Prom King label for one reason and one reason only. By being with him, she by default becomes the Queen and we all know how long she’s been dying to fill that role. (the tiara episode anyone?)
      Can’t get anyone to crown you, crown yourself!

      Her Royal Donkiness, Queen of Artificial Reflected Glory.

  37. Dadser Wants 2 Watch says:

    Lil Julesy always brought her Dadser tulips, and now she’s doing the same for her new man.

    All of you haters can suck Dadser dong.

  38. shamoolia says:

    Love how that tacky cow always talks about the gifts she buys for other people. Hey Julia… your hick is showing.

  39. Paper Cuts Kill Innocents says:

    Jules is one of those horrible gift givers who doesn’t give people things they would enjoy, but rather things that she wants them to have (ugly ass Christmas sweater, anyone?)

    It is astounding that even her kindness is selfish.

  40. Mini Driver says:

    “It has lots of fabric and glittery things on top and a bow type thing, so that makes me happy enough.”

    Yeah, I’m ready for the return of “third-person journalism” now.

  41. Catch the Spit says:

    Those flowers will look good next to PK’s pyramid of empty Bud Light cans.

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