Dispatches From The BiPolar Birthday Bash

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A dispatch from a party-goer:

Jordan and Kendrick smoke.

Julia did nothing but look in mirrors and pose for pictures all night.

She was hugging Chaz Forman a lot.

Blakeley was there; he loves himself.

Momsers is deluded and clearly stark raving mad.

Dadsers is awkward as fuck.

PK came home today to find his apartment filled with strangers; what a great guy!

Donks and Miss White Strips wore ridiculous Oklahoma!- looking dresses.

Adrien was dreadfully frightened Mary would find out he was at the party. Smart, Pocket Gay.

Fatty Kate is beautiful.

Donk is a self-important twat.

And no one should miss this Twitter stream.

 

327 COMMENTS

  1. Yeah, I talked to Momsers too. She was super sweet in that “Oh dear god, she has NO IDEA, does she?” way. Almost as if she is mentally ill or developmentally disabled. 🙁 I really like her, except for the whole giving birth to and enabling a donkey thing.

    Also spotted: Dr. Bobby looking … super fucking hot. I’m sorry.

    • Goes to show … Granny Moneybags probably saw the writing on the (padded-room) wall & tried, back in the day, to steer Dadser away from Momser … hence the 30-years estrangement.

      Donkey needs to add to her checklist:
      * Is He Willing & Able to Alienate His Mother?

    • I think you did a good job observing things at the party, but — and yes, there’s always a but isn’t there? — If you had the chance to talk to Momsers, why didn’t you say something like, “Oh, so nice to meet you, and wow, I hear Julia’s found a great new guy…I’m so happy for her.” And then let Momsers tell you all about him?

  2. P.S. Some girl is bitching about how her guy friends weren’t on the list and were told by the bouncers that they’d need to pay $75 EACH to get in. Believe it or not, they bounced the fuck out of there. The girl said, “$75 to get into this piece of shit?!” LULZ. (Her sister, someone named Christina, was inside and plotting their escape to a better party. I told her I was waiting for the cake licking, to see if she’d blink, but she didn’t.)

    Very sparse crowd btw. Shocker!

    • I’m up out this bitch. Seriously didn’t think I could dislike Donkey any more than I did, but tonight sealed it. She flounced past most of her guests like a fucking princess. What a classless whore.

  3. I find it so strange and worrying that she has so many people she doesn’t even know at her party. I mean, you have a party and inevitably people you do know bring people that you mightn’t have met before, but to actually invite people you don’t know? I mean, it’s a birthday party, not a public function.

    • Even then, the crowd was sparse. She was desperate to get people there and I’d say she was lucky if there were 100 people in that venue. The number of them making fun of her seemed disproportionate (to borrow a JABism). She is really an unpopular person. Most seemed to be there to try to network with Randi — which I am sure JAB was counting on to get bodies in the door. Not to mention the people SHE HAD FLY IN to celebrate.

      Dadster is jetting to SF for that party, too. What a bunch of lunatics.

      My takeaway from tonight: Her parents are light years away from ever holding her accountable for her bullshit. They truly believe she “works” and that she is making something of herself. Whomever said in a previous comments thread that they ceded control to her at age 11 hit the nail on the head. They are PROUD of their lazy, no good whore of a daughter! I don’t even know if Britt is sane at this point.

      • Hmmm, we had 99 people in the chat party. And you say the number of folks at the live party who disliked her was high.

        So…. I think the stats are officially in on whether “haters” make up such a tiny percentage of hits, etc.

      • There were 99 PEOPLE in the chat room on a Friday night? Forgive me, you know I love this site as a guilty pleasure, but isn’t this just adding fuel to the catlady myth that JA would love to be true?

  4. Guest list please Pilot. She flew Ineffable Alexander Marqart across the globe for a booty call when she has a boyfriend? Nice.

    • It was really hard to tell if PK was there. Julia was just pulling Randi along by the arm and dragging her from photo op to photo op. She didn’t stand still for more than about five seconds, and she didn’t even stop to chat with people. Jordan and Meghan were both there, hanging with their own groups of friends.

      • What i want to know is where the fuck are all the photos?

        This account is totally believable, but it *is* very curious that no photos are online any where.

        Question: Is this the result of Janks lockdown on this front or irrelevancy? I am inclined to believe the latter. If you are going to hunt down photo ops like a hungry wolf, wouldn’t you want them splayed everywhere??

        Or does she want to see them first to avoid last year’s shame??

        Strange. HA!

      • I am with you, someproblems. Where the hell are the fauxtos?!?! Especially if all JA did all night was pose for pictures.

      • It is 2 PM the day afterwards, I’m sure McGlynn will get around to it. He probably hasn’t even woken up and brunched yet.

    • White pants guy in pic had the doughy hands & the silver watch & was too big to be Dadser or Britt … but my previous comment was droll (in my mind, anyway) when I typed it.

  5. omg just finished digging out the ceramic cat shards from my cavernous dungeon. someone had a party? can’t wait for the glamour shots from that olan mills photogenius that I’m sure was there.

  6. Interesting lack of twitter or tumblrs from the Donk. She live twitters a date, but not her fabulous birthday party?

  7. Jordan and Kendrick smoke.

    CALLED IT (takes one to know one)

    Hey Jordy! In this questionable economy of Kool-Aid Lip gloss bs. top-shelf caviar

    Which do you recommend, generic cigarettes or name brand cigarettes?

    Maybe you just haven’t mentioned this on your blog because ya’ll are shooting a pilot to perhaps land a DIY ‘Roll Your Own! 1-2-3’ video?

    • The vibe I got from Jordan and Kendrick was very much “over it” — they do not think much of JAB or her crowd. It is very clear to me that Jordan has been riding JAB’s tattered, un-laundered, raggedy-ass coattails for all they’re worth (not much). I didn’t talk to her but she seems much younger and dippier-acting in person. Kendrick seemed cute (not hot) and down to earth but not impressed at all with the douchebags in his midst — which makes me like him a little. He obviously loves his wife to tolerate such a “work” event.

      • So, pretty much the same as it ever was with Jabs? Except with extra-crunchy parents beaming with pride at their famous daughter?

      • If Jordache doesn’t even really like Julia, it makes her willingness to accept Vom Fling’s generosity, despite how ‘uncomfortable’ it makes her, even more loathsome.

        Minnie the Mooch, fo sho.

      • So, I’ve settled on my new name and now I’m off to feed my 40 cats and hit the hay. Night, fellow catladies (and gentlemen)!

      • SS, seeing the parents bask in this situation was a bit chilling. They think it’s not only cute, but they think she is doing important, innovative work. Explains the extent to which they enable her, what with the taking pictures and shooting inappropriate videos. But they had also invited THEIR NY FRIENDS to this party – plenty of old folk who were being shown just how proud Momsers and Dadster are of their baby donkey. It was the most how fuck party I’ve been to, and yet so very boring.

      • Pitnk — That is just sad. She really doesn’t have a chance. And I bet you were bored to tears with the web toolbags posing around like Nobel laureates.

      • “She doesn’t have a chance” says it all. JAB is a lost cause and I weep for her unborn children. I’m not actually weeping, but I’m not really exaggerating either. THOSE kids won’t stand a chance in hell of living sane lives.

        Stick a fork in this hooker — she is DONE.

      • “seeing the parents bask in this situation was a bit chilling. They think it’s not only cute, but they think she is doing important, innovative work”

        I’m not surprised. Blah. I know tons of parents whose children are complete and utter failures, and yet the parents refuse to notice/acknowledge the situation – and they even continue to fund it. Usually they’re really sweet, naive people who adore their kids. It’s heartbreaking.

  8. I’m gonna blow your minds, cat ladies. I bet when Jordor and Kendrick go home at night to their puppymill dogs and fugly furniture…they smoke…..drrrrrdrrrrdrrrummmmrollll……WEED!

    I’ll be Woodward, you be Bernstein.

    • I think Jordan is all about bongs and pipes, and collects feathered roach clips. Her tattoo always reminds me of a feathered roach clip, come to think of it.

      • Jordan doesn’t look so plussed the photos this morning.

        Should we start placing bets on Jordan’s exit? 500$ says she’s this year’s put upon Mary.

        Also, total fail on the media coverage front.

        Where is the coverage, i ask!?

        2007 had Nick Denton writing the party recap himself. She hasn’t outgrown Gawker, she is just over.

        HA!

    • A young rock star and his dippy wife smoke weed? Now I’ve heard everything!

      Julia smokes weed too, folks. Or at least she did when she was with Jakob. Like A LOT of weed.

    • Yes, “Pilot” is the new “keynote”—you are awesome and ineffable for going to that shit show party and reporting back. You rock.

      And the chat tonight was incredible and only makes me want to have a real-life RBNS meetup.

  9. I am sorry that I missed Yulia’s birfday bash, complete with insane Momsers and awkward Dadsers and the gross Yordan, who smokes and I hate her now. WILL YOU SHOW US HOW TO MAKE OUR OWN CIGARETTES, GROSSIE??

    Okay, time to drink some more wodker.

    Julia has crabs.

    Byeeeeeeeee!

    • RG, no one else is here now. Too early. Since you’re already drunk, do you want to come over and make out? Ok to bring the goat.

      • Okay, yes. See. This is kind of decadence that will be ruin of Western civalez…ceval…uh..Western world, kay? Okay. Yes. Ranjit want to come make threesome too, kay?

  10. Donks and Miss White Strips wore ridiculous Oklahoma!- looking dresses.

    Oh what a peltrific morning, oh what a peltrific day!
    I’ve got a shilltastic feeling, everything’s braying my way!

  11. This is complete and utter BS. The only new information Pilot gleaned by crashing the party is that Julia’s mom doesn’t badmouth her daughter when chatting politely with strangers. Oh and “Jordan and Kendrick smoke!” I’m telling Mom!

    • Don’t you see? There is nothing new, special or interesting about Julia. Not sure what everyone was expecting.

      • Seriously. What was everyone expecting? Were they expecting Julia to go prancing around listing off Prom King’s address and talking about her emotional problems? Did they expect her to take off her top and let each guest feel her boobs to see if they were real? Did they expect Pilot to stalk Julia’s every move, taking notes and pictures, outing herself as a RBNS commenter to all of her friends?

        It sounds like a normal party with Julia doing her normal, annoying-but-not-lifechanging behavior. I don’t know why some commenters seem to think that something huge was going to happen or that Pilot owes it to us to ruin her professional relationships with people for the sake of the site.

      • What’s your point? Last year it took a day or two for the pictures to emerge and the true crazy to present itself. However, I am doubting there will be much similar this year given Momsers and Dadsers’ constant presence.

      • @PlagiarizingLizLemon

        Are you on deadline or something?

        It’s too early on a beautiful morn to be coming across so sad & angry against a group known for being sad & angry … peace out. Or go back to bed & really piece out.

      • Interesting gossip? Related to Julia Allison? LOL, OK. Perhaps you should wait for the cray to erupt on the leg of the BBB where the focus ISN’T on her. Although really, it’s easy enough to glean what’s so interesting from PITNK’s observations: clueless enabling parents taking up residence in the apartment of her boyfriend who she isn’t in love with, the fact that he may or may not have attended her party, which she apparently spent the better part of hugging up on an EX-BOYFRIEND who very publicly and embarrassingly dismissed her. Ain’t so much trite as fucking hilarious.

      • All three. (sad, angry and on deadline). Can’t a girl get some real gossip. I hate 7th grade-style, 3rd rate gossip.

      • PLL, if you are dissatisfied with the reports back from the dog and donkey show (TM Jacy), you are more than welcome to apply for a refund from the RBNS ombudsman. Please allow four to six weeks for my colon to reply.

      • Yeah, i don’t find these observations really so trite.

        Jordan is over it. I predict she will be out soon. The weirdness is too much and how forced this that photo look in PK’s apartment.

        Meghanaise, Jordo and Kendy looked like they were all phoning it in, hard.

        And PK cut from the photo!

        Momsers is starkers is also a revelation.

        Hanging all over Foreman? Hilare.

        And i agree, SF is where the cray cray erupted last year too. And Michael McDonalds will be there!

        w00t.

        Chat room again ce soir, cat ladies?

      • Is that you, Emily Rose?

        Got the sadz cuz you worked so hard on email blasts for nothing? Feeling left our ‘cuz you didn’t get to drive eight hours for craptastic bottom-shelf liquor & licked cupcakes? Just can’t stand the suspense of not knowing whether College Humor cluster-fuck was in attendance & would it have been worth it?

      • I don’t agree with this notion that Jackles was publicly dumped by Charles Forman. I watched that whole video, and it appeared that he was just publicly announcing their breakup. Hells bells, he even said it was a joke and told her “I love you,” at the end of his little presentation. Then she said, “Awww,” and they hugged.

        He was at her party last year, as I recall, and he was there again this year. I know we want to savor any delicious victory we can, but I just don’t think this is one of them, my cat-collecting friends.

      • Agree. There are also comments in here on occasion about how much Foreman loathes her. I don’t see it. That announcement of their breakup was meant to be funny, not mean. I also think he was the “favorite ex” that had lunch with Dadsers a while back.

      • Driveby: I have heard that in fact, he really liked her, but she treated him like shit. Not sure who dumped who in the end but I think he was hurt by her.

    • PLL you missed a good deal of dirt in the chat party. Dirty that certain editors promised not to put on the blog, and didn’t.

      • Well, that kind of sucks because some of us weren’t able to be on the chat the last night. Maybe it was bath night for my ceramic cats. Hey, don’t judge me!!

        And, it doesn’t look like there’s a way to go back and look at the chat. Can someone who was on it (besides the editors), dish the dirt?

      • Ok, that was me. And I was drunk and bathing my ceramic cats and that’s why I can’t even spell my username. I said don’t judge me!!

      • Any chance one of the faithful non-editors amongst us has a transcript of the chat and would like to share with the deprived meow mates who missed the fun?

    • I agree. For someone who was actually there, pitnkn didn’t get much in the way of scintillating gossip. I could understand it if the venue was packed and crazy and all, but from what I’ve read it was not a huge crowd. In a word: dissapointing.

      • Welcome to RBNS, Puddingnose.

        S’matter, Puddingnose, Julia ain’t takin’ your calls? Hate RBNS but you’re forced to come *here* for deets cuz you otherwise remain outta the loop?

        The one you admire so much has a saying:
        “Let it Unfold”

        Why don’t you do just THAT?

      • We have very different ideas of scintillating gossip.

        Let it go already!

        I’ll say it again, the mystery of the Baugher Family Dynamic has been laid bare for all to see. This has been a question around these parts for a long time.

        Jordo is ovah it all, a recent pre-occupation, but still answered.

        Prop Thang no where to be seen, though apparently the loser son of a rich dude — more new info here too!

        Oh, and the general attitude of Evil Janks and her subjects also well parsed.

        Let it go already.

      • Seriously. This was a loser donkey and her sad birthday. All “gossip” from the party just confirmed what I already expected. This isn’t someone infiltrating Brangelina’s anniversary dinner… It’s someone going to a frenemies sad party for the lulz.

  12. If Julia wasn’t hanging on Prom King all night, introducing him around as her BOYFRIEND then he wasn’t there or the relationship is a sham. I mean, when you’re in the lovey-dovey honeymoon phase of a new relationship, that is what you do at parties. I’m really surprised that all the party-goers who’ve reported back (here and elsewhere) seem so vague about whether or not he was there and who he is. It should have been made perfectly clear last night, no? Unless he was the guy making out with Meghan in the corner most of the night…

    • After a month or so of dating they should be all over each other. Unless he’s ugly and not bragworthy in Julia’s eyes.

  13. “# Good morning!! In the car on the way to JFK with @meghan, @jordanberkow and my dad, meeting @randizuckerberg, @tworetzky & @meganalagna.” 5 minutes ago via Echofon

    Waiting for the pic of seatmates Lasagna & Dadser …

    • This leg of the birthday bash sounds even worse. Everyone is exhausted from a cross country flight and they have to drag themselves to yet another sparsely attended party that’s going to be a total nightmare to get to. All for some sad snacks and bottom shelf booze. Ew.

      • This whole cross country party thing is such a bad idea. Who wants to go to party, even a good party (which this will not be), after a cross country flight? Who thought this would be a good idea?

      • Yeah, I don’t get that aspect at all. The morning after a fun party, I can barely be bothered to go cross town for brunch let alone ACROSS THE COUNTRY for ANOTHER PARTY. I mean, either something’s epic or it’s not; you don’t combine two mediocre parties together to get one good party; all you’re left with is two mediocre parties.

      • Bottom shelf booze has gotta hurt. But of course Grey Goose would never sponsor their asses.

        And yeah, SF is going to be a disaster tonight.

        This Bicurious Birthday Bash is just so tragic they decided to do it again!

      • Don’t forget to factor in the jet lag… 10 p.m. in San Fran is 1 a.m. in New York. This will not matter to Julia, who is never abed until the Manhattan dawn, but the other east-coast guests will be asleep on their feet. Particularly if the only sustenance offered is booze and cupcakes. I’m getting drowsy just picturing it.

        This is reminding me of how very entertained I was when Jules posted that Hawaii must be good for her system because she was finally nodding off at a reasonable hour and waking early in the morning. I’m sure the six-hour time shift had NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with this freshly diurnal schedule.

      • RE: “In San Fran … If the only sustenance offered is booze and cupcakes.” | I’m hoping the same gang that left Julia’s name off of the barfbray cake last year will go the extra distance this year ~ if Randi has any sense about her, she’d have been phoning it in to her SF girls last night w/ deets on the Donkey-Gate Corral & to order a classy SF buffet set-up, etc.

  14. “Last 24 hours of being 28 years old. I’m contemplating a celebration involving consumption of multiple blueberry muffins.” 32 minutes ago via Echofon

    (READ: Adderall isn’t supposed to be taken on an empty stomach.)

    • Oh, isn’t she just a HOOT?!
      So precious.
      You go, girl!
      High five to that idea, sister girlfriend!!
      (collapses in gales of laughter)

    • the way she assigns such importance to every trite moment in her stupid life disgusts me. who the fuck cares that you’re turning 29 for fuck’s sake. for some reason this second annual bi-curious birthday extravaganza has really brought the rage for me. after hearing from pilot, i want us to be just ruthless with this spoiled brat idiot.

    • why can’t she just turn 29 like most people? i.e. what i ate for breakfast that morning was not any big deal…and no, it didn’t involve multiple blueberry muffins. from what i remember (hey, it was a few years ago) it was just coffee….

  15. BINGO SQUARE!

    a href=”http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/415406520″>“Checking in for our flight this morning!”

  16. If this was anything close to a good party, wouldn’t everyone be ridiculously hungover? Sorry, but getting up at 7AM to go out to JFK for a 10:30AM flight after being OUT all night? I wouldn’t do this for anyone.

    • Yes, in fact, I think you can come up with mathematical formula to prove this; something along the lines of, the quality of a party is directly proportional to how far you’re willing to travel for another party the next day: the better the party, the shorter the distance. Therefore, with JA flying to SF, that means the party SUCKED.

      • If Jordan was already home by 1:00 a.m. shilling about her hair, for brays-sake, that party must have sucked HARD!

        Almost as hard as being strong-armed into attending the blather, rinse & repeat SF version. She probably needs some R&R.

        Oh wait …

      • Honestly. From accounts, they didn’t show up at the party until almost 10, and then they were home and in their jammies by 1?? Did some intern really spend a month planning so that Donk and the gang could leave after less than 3 hours?

      • i saw that jordo posted that hair thing around 1 am, and thought, oh she’s home already? but she could have just set it to post ahead of time, and still been away from home when it posted.

      • Lars, you are so *there* with the New Baugher Math today! I’m impressed. Did you attend an Ivy, perchance? Keep them formuli coming.

  17. I know several well-known silicon scenester types, great friends of Randi, who were not invited to either leg. Two have boyfriends JA covets. Innneresting…

  18. The best moments from last night were in the chatroom, no doubt about it. Left with a few questions this morning.

    – Are Julia’s parents flying out to SF with her? Surely not, but then again …?
    – I wonder when Julia got over her hatred of smokers and her “ew smokers icky” judgmental self. Did Harhar and TK smoke? Is that why she posed with that unlit cigarette in her romper photoshoot? Lulz
    – When is Julia going to blaze? She has somewhat normal “friends” right now, and this might be her only chance to do it before she turns 30. I’m sure even Momsers and Dadsers had a toke in their youth. Jordan, please at least consider hotboxing Julia and then locking her in the bathroom for ten minutes with her iphone.
    – They are having this party in Chinatown during the parade? That sounds fun to get to.
    – Where is Randi? I kind of forgot Randi was even in New York. I’d like to imagine she’s already planning a trip to Thailand for her next birthday, and wondering why she didn’t get around to doing that last year.
    – Is Julia already planning her 30th? of course she is. When will she realize these parties do nothing but trigger her social anxiety and make both acquaintances and critics hate her more?

    • “When is Julia going to blaze? ”

      Never. It’s, like, A DRUG, and omg ew Blair Waldorf would never smoke the reefers and omg she doesn’t even take Tylenol or sleeping pills! So normal! So healthy!

    • Looks like Dadsers is going to SF with her. Maybe after last year’s shit show, they’re chaperoning this year’s festivities?

      • Don’t foget that besides the bicoastal b-day bash in S.F. there are business meetings to attend! Me thinks the reason dadsers met with some of JA’s peeps in NYC and is now headed to SF with her is because he’s putting money into backing her OMG successful bizzzzz-ness!
        Whatever that may be.
        I mean, come on. Why isn’t momsers along for the flight? And dadsers arrived to NYC way early for the b-day bash, no?

      • Yes. It also explains the “listening tour” with Bears, Karp, RZ, and I suspect Foreman. All her new media pals to help explain it all to Dough-sers so he can fund some venture. I said it before, but these are my dream parents. Clueless and rich. And JA will eventually marry someone clueless and rich. Not her dream husband, but one she can manipulate to get by in life.

    • “Jordan, please at least consider hotboxing Julia and then locking her in the bathroom for ten minutes with her iphone.”

      I would BUY TICKETS to this.

  19. Noticeably absent from the craptastic event last nite: Caroline McCarthy, Rachel Sklar, David Karp, Snookie, The Situation, Megan McCain and some are saying RVV was nowhere to be seen.

  20. Pilot, you confuse the heck out of me. I admit, it could be because I’m easily confused. Bear with me:

    1. You went through a lot of trouble to go this party for us, which I applaud. But you had NO CURIOSITY about figuring out which of the “douchey dudes” was Prom King? Does not compute.

    2. You think most of the people were “nobodies” but you also imply you wouldn’t recognize these people anyway, so maybe the room was FILLED with big names.

    3. My mind reels at the thought that Alexander M. would actually show up to this third-rate shindig. If he did, he certainly didn’t come to town especially for it. Also, are most of you people new here? WHY OH WHY would ANYBODY think he was Prom King??? He’s still based in Moscow, right? Plus, he’s a good-looking dude with brains and a career.

    I don’t understand why Pilot took the trouble to go to the party, when he/she had so very little interest in it, and, apparently, couldn’t wait to get up and out of there at the earliest opportunity. And not a single photo was taken, not even of a cupcake or the decorations or anything? It’s just another layer of mystery on top of the enigma that surrounds everything Jackles, I guess. Nothing ever makes sense.

    • Yes, something is very worrisome here. Shouldn’t PK have been the focus of any alleged stealth visit to the Jackles/White Strips soiree? And yet nothing? Instead, just obvious commentary on what might have been expected and the unlikely ineffable Alexander M. showing up for some shitfest in a snowstorm? Enlighten us here.

      • Yes, the only part I actually cared about was knowing what PK looked like and how he and the Donkey interacted with each other. His name doesn’t matter, but IS HE FUG OR NOT? Inquiring cats want to know! 😉

      • “His name doesn’t matter, but IS HE FUG OR NOT?”

        Reports in le chat room (that’s French for the cat room) last night were that he looks like a younger Garry Shandling.

    • PS Pilot, sorry to aim my disappointment at you personally. I’m just experiencing that post-holiday letdown, I guess. As I recall from last year, it was the SF leg of the party that was the most lulzy. Dare I get my hopes up again for tonight…? Yeah, probably. Anyway, peace!

    • “I don’t understand why Pilot took the trouble to go to the party…” | I’m thinking of it as a fishing expedition ~ you never know just what you’re going to catch, but you give ut a shot, eh?

      “…when he/she had so very little interest in it, and, apparently, couldn’t wait to get up and out of there at the earliest opportunity.” | Sometimes fishing sucks so bad, you wish you were at work instead?

      • Ha, so true, even fishing can be work sometimes. I’m sure Pilot was MORE disappointed than me, to end up at such a boring-ass function with nothing exciting or juicy happening.

    • PK doesn’t appear to be on the plane (or else why are they flying coach)?

      I’ll bet that Pilot was so uncomfortable, because you KNOW none of those bitches made her feel welcome and introduced her around ike one normally does at a party where strangers converge. Julia prob gave her a once over side-eye, wondering *how’d SHE get in* (no offense Pilot, you’re obvs tiny & cute since you did get in) and then flounced away. Randi was probably stuck at a table nodding with that toothy grin while someone tried to worm the conversation to Mark. Sounds like Jordan & skinny hubby were trying to look like they didn’t want to bolt to go get high while gritting their teeth and surreptiously checking their watches, and the other blonde icelandic thing was not even there.

      I’ll bet that that half of JA’s “Friends” don’t read her blog (even if they used to) and have no idea (not care) that she even has a (supposed) BF.

      • Szish posted pics of her with a pouting Brant in the required colors and said they were on the way to the party.

      • yes, it’s odd that Katrina didn’t post a thing. Blakely never twittered a word about it. Sklar has been in Canada. Did Caro flee to Australia to avoid having to go to Julia’s sad party? If she did, it’s funny that Julia (and Dadsers) still managed to squeeze a lunch date out of her before she left. Ricky must not even be pretending anymore. Someone else pointed out that even Karp blew it off.

        Sounds like an epic night that New Yorkers will be talking about for months. Happy now, Julia? Hope it made all your SATC dreams come true.

    • I agree and posted a similar sentiment earlier. I don’t get how Pilot can be so invested in critiquing JA on RBNS and then go to a party where she could glean so much first hand info and come back with such a vague report. I understand being undercover and all, but she talked to Jules mom. so why not PK or Meghan or Jordan? All she had to do was pretend to be a fan and say “wow, I love your domestic bliss blog jordan… where can i get wallpaper like that? and btw… is julia fun to work with ? do you think she’s going to get a ring soon?” Oh well. We can’t all be great reporters, I guess.

      • She was invited. Ergo, NOT a fan, probably considered something of a “colleague” (except not because I assume Pilot actually, you know, works). Approaching the NoneSociety gals would have been really bizarre under the guise of, “I’m yer biggest fan!” Julia doesn’t interact with her fans and she certainly wouldn’t have invited any to her party.

        If that’s honestly how you would have approached Jordan, best of luck to you. That wouldn’t be discreet or tactful.

  21. PK doesn’t exist. Why blog from a romantic date and not your B-Day? That reversal of reality only makes sense because she wants the world to think she is fucktastic enough for some guy.

    Imagine what the future sister-in-lawser thinks…

    • You’d tweet a date but not a party because (in your sick, sick mind), on the date there’s only one person to be photographed with (and he doesn’t want his face on the interwebz) so you have more time to twiddle your fingers and at the party there are a million photo ops with a million people who you want to be associated with so there’s less time for twating the night away.

    • Some wagster in le chat room last night referred to Prop Thing as Julia Allison’s “content boyfriend.” Still smiling at that turn of phrase (and paradigm-shiftin’ thought) today. Skol.

  22. hey gahz… *groggily typing at laptop* wanna download on last night’s “epicness”? (haha, gossip girl reference!) ch-ch-check it out
    any SF peeps, email (fcamping gmail), if you wanna get something going for tonight.

  23. Yeah, not willing to blow my cover to try to justify why I didn’t bring back PK’s SSN and stool sample. But just take it from me that I wish I’d been able glean more dirt; the opportunities to do so without being obvious were not there. I wasn’t going to shove my camera in people’s faces, either — I’m not invisible or unknown to these people. You can always try to go digging yourself next year; I’m sure the same production will be returning to New York in 2011.

      • Here here! It was my assumption that you were KNOWN to these people and, thus, weren’t going to be up in everyone’s grill. I really appreciate your report, Pilot!

    • Yeah, totally get it. It’s awesome that you shared your impressions of the evening.

      Going around digging for gossip would have been so GAUCHE! 🙂

    • I think you actually brought back quite a few revelations and the people who expected more are off, in my opinion.

      Obvi if you got an invite, you are known to that crowd. Clearly outing yourself as a Catlady is not in your interest in that setting.

    • Totally understandable, and it’s awesome that you went and reported back! It’s good to hear some things confirmed (like Momsers being unhinged)… and besides, PK and Julia not being all over each other is excellent dirt in its own right.

    • @Pilot: I give you major props for going at all. Fight on, sista.

      OT: I am SO Jordan right now – wearing a Talbots (thanks mom) sweater-coat cinched with a Cynthia Rowley belt (sample generously provided by designer). Sadly, we have no Kool-Aid on hand to make lipstick, so I am sticking with pre-made (horrors!) Laura Mercier. Living differently, ya’ll!

      • I think what you did was awesome. It’s VERY telling that there was nothing to report on PK!!!! And I don’t mean that in a way of lack of coverage, I mean ‘telling’ in the way that if it wasn’t obvious these two are together, how would you know? I find it far more curious that even at a party, so much is just not quite right in the land of JA.

    • Yes definitely way to go, Pilot, you got good stuff. And you’re braver than me. I refused to go despite promising JA I would. Had a hot date… with my TV and a bowl of Cheetos.

    • Why am I not surprised that you’re not a total toolbag, Pilot is the new Keynote? I found your observations subtle and contextual, especially the dynamic with the parentals. Always loved your handle, too. Thanks for the report.

      • I have to admit that a Lilly [sic] stool sample would have been an easy win, but she wasn’t there. I may have dognapped her if she had been.

    • thanks for reporting back, pilot. i’m not sure why some people expected you to go all commando on the party, but personally i am entertained by the insights you were able to bring to us.

  24. I think there were 2 happy bdays on her Facebook wall last I checked. Morin was invited but was on the ski trip and never would have gone anyway. Brittany tolerates Julia for god knows what reason but there’s no love affair there.

  25. This party sounds so sad on so many levels. And what kind of shitty excuse of a party hostess doesn’t even bother to greet or talk to all of her party attendees? Further proves that she’s every bit as socially-retarded as I’ve heard. Or simply a classless bitch who doesn’t care about shit like good manners and common courtesy.
    Everyone looks absolutely MISERABLE in those photos Jules is snapping in the airport/on the flight. After enduring some lame b-day event the night before, you just know they’re all gritting their teeth attempting to humor the crazy pink lady.

  26. A few things:

    1) Last night’s chat session was a lot of fun!

    2) Is Katrina going on the Aspen trip? It seems odd to me that Julia would essentially force Jordan and Kendrick into going, but didn’t invite the newest member of the group to come along. Did Katrina say no, whereas Jordan was too afraid to decline / call Julia out on her actions and guilt-tripping?

    3) Is Katrina going to SF? Doesn’t seem like it from the airport / plane photos. This seems to be the first time someone is using Donk and not vice-versa. Katrina keeps pushing her own, personal projects (Pink Memo, for instance) on her blog.

    4) I am inclined to believe that PK is either not her boyfriend and is, instead, a calculated move on Julia’s part to score some type of TV deal about dating / her life -or- that he is somehow embarrassing to Julia that she does not want us, her only readers, to know who he is or what he looks like.

    5) Jordan needs to divorce herself from this shitfest. Like, yesterday.

    • PRC, methinks the power differential between Julia/Jordan and Julia/Katrina is substantial. You’re dead on that Katrina has the upper hand in that relationship. Must be an interesting bidness experience for La Donks.

      • Also, Ruffled Cheese is correct that le chat room last night was fun. It struck me amid the mayhem and lulz that both the chat room and RBNS in general are like some whacked-out book club. (Not that I’ve ever *been* in a book club, but, what I hear about them, cough.) Only the book we meet to discuss never changes–it’s the ongoing NonSociety soap opera, in all its ineffable how-fuckness.

      • I don’t mind admitting that I don’t see Julia Allison as a real person so much as a character so, to me, the book club analogy is extremely apt.

  27. Okay, peoples! Which one of you Krazy Kat Ladies is up for another EPIC chat session tonight? Because last night? WAS AWESOME.

    It’s raining here in LA. I’ve got work to do all day. My cat-husband will most likely be watching Olympics AGAIN. So nothing sounds better than partying like it’s 1999, AOL-style, in Le Chat Room.

  28. Thanks for making the effort, Pilot, it’s appreciated. Disappointed, though, that even after spies infiltrated the party, PK is still a mystery. A big win for Donkey, and that bothers me even more than not knowing who Thing is.

    • I don’t really care about Prop Thing. The dynamic w/ the parentals has been a mystery far longer. That case was cracked last night.

      Prop Thing is a sad, rich loser. Not that interesting!

      I’d like to know if Janks moved in w/ him more than knowing who he is. That mystery wasn’t getting solved last night, so it’s win all around.

  29. just zipped over to ol’ NS for a laugh.

    Is Lasagna being paid her CEO salary in cast off DVFs that no longer fit Julia? Looks like she scored that polka dot long coat.

    Nice going, baked pasta dish!

    Also, who’s watching lilly this weekend?

    hmmmm….

  30. JAB Twitter: “Landed in San Fran! I have to say, Virgin America has the least comfortable seats EVER. Ughh.”

    • “what’s the DEAL with airline food??”

      her trite complains EVERY SINGLE TIME she travels are so obnoxious. What a hick. Fly private or pay for first class if you want comfort you fucking gauche donkey.

    • And I’m sure Randi appreciates Julia trashing fb’s business partner. Tacky hick.

      “randizuckerberg Thanks to @VirginAmerica I can still work on Facebook’s Chile relief efforts, even from 30000 ft. Can’t imagine being out of touch right now
      about 3 hours ago”

      • JAB is so fucking selfish and ONLY thinks about herself, when there are hurricanes and tsunamis happening.

    • You KNOW pk is some ass ugly, dumpy loser and she hides his face because she’s ashamed of him. If he was famous, hot or a “founder” she would be splashing his face all over the place.

    • Kendrick and Brant are “hot” and “gorgeous”, Prom King is a nice “young man” with “a good heart and great values”. Telling, isn’t it? I can hear the sizzling from here!

    • Along the same lines:
      Adjective routinely applied to Julia’s skinny associates: “Gorgeous.”
      Adjective routinely applied to Julia’s fat associates: “Sweet.”

  31. Oh, look, she’s retweeting the married guy who was hitting on her during Fashion Week:

    “You, sir, are a shameless liar. Keep it coming! RT @euanrellie: @juliaallison you don’t look a day over 26.”

  32. What happened to peptotights, she said she was heading over to the party last night. Did she get discovered as a spy and is being held hostage by Imaginary Moonfaced Boyfriend? Did she get caught in a drift of snow? Brainwashed by the Baughers of Stepford?

    Paging, paging…..send out the Shih-Tzu rescue dogs!!!!!

  33. Definitelty got a mass text for dinnkey’s Birthday Party last night from The Gates. So much for her uber exclusive party…

  34. I’m not applauding at @sarcasticmmeow, because I find her sense of entitlement to actually exceed Donkey’s YEE GODS, but best bite of the evening was from her:

    “I think im the only one who could afford a cab. Unemployed networking was crazy.”

    Tumblr Blogging, career choice of billionaires.

  35. Well how very convenient!:

    SF Bicoastal Bday Emergency! @randizuckerberg & I had a photographer booked tonight who had to cancel – anyone know an awesome replacement?

  36. This is her fucking emergency? Really? Um, has she seen CNN in the last 20 minutes? Self-centered twit. She knows absolutely nothing about the world outside her own pink palace. What a dumb navel gazing bitch.

    SF Bicoastal Bday Emergency! @randizuckerberg & I had a photographer booked tonight who had to cancel – anyone know an awesome replacement?

    • Srsly. This is the kind of thing that really pisses me off about the Donkey. Catastrophic 8.8 earthquake in Chile, tsunami hitting Hawaii, and her ’emergency’ is that her photographer cancelled? NO. WORDS.

    • Ah, shades of the October ’09 CARE BARE COSTUME EMERGENCY that crippled America for a week. I know I still haven’t made a complete emotional recovery.

    • Haha. Oh no she didn’t. Cute. Makes me like her all the more.

      Glad my JA induced rage lasted only as long as my last post. There is a big world out there. I spend a great deal of time learning about it. Something she will never ever know.

    • It’s on bitches! Both Jordy and Kendy have started their rebellion.

      And with that, i like them again.

      So i am fickle!

    • Jordan is the new Mary. For reals.

      I wonder how many “business partners” are going to have to jump ship just weeks after the BBB before Yulia stops throwing them.

    • @someproblems, I feel exactly the same way!

      Never liked her and have recently taking to actively disliking her, but after these photos and comments, man. Love it.

      Also, the gays in green are my faves.

  37. No surprises on the momser front. I know plenty of moms (including my own) who are more than willing to pull wool over their eyes as long as their kid is happy. Dadsers on the other hand? How could a successful attorney tolerate this? Is he so far gone in the legal world that he is willing to take lying and bs from his daughter, not just his clients?

    • WAIT. Screeching brakes sound.

      Amazingly, we borrowed another two Betsey Johnson dresses with the ones we borrowed last week for the FAKE DATE, like the dresses we BORROWED for our birthday last year.

      Someone get Betsey Johnson’s PR on the phone. Fake date case closed. Next!

      • “screeching break sounds” I love this. It made me seriously lol at the office (yes I’m working on a Saturday night. Fuck my client and even more, fuck you donkey. How old do you have to be to get a clue how worthless you are.)

      • seriously, the only one close in any of those pics is the dude wearing that fabric belt with the stripe in it and the metal buckle. I never did figure out how those worked.

      • Tell me how preppy ANY of it was! This has got to be the lamest theme party, ever.

        Also: Burro*

        *in honor of Hoolia’s Quincinera

    • That’s some sad sad stuff. I get the feeling that Randi is just having fun and taking the mickey out of herself. Julia on the other hand looks like it’s the best day of her life, wearing a pink prom dress and being the center of attention and having her photo taken. All the carrying on about travel to SF the day after – o God what a martyr, enduring the true struggle that is voluntarily flying cross country with a hangover so you can attend another vanity bash in another monstrous pink dress with all your business associates/paid BFFs.

      • sharpie brows! there are some exquisite ones on two ladies that i deal with semi-regularly, and i wish i could take a pic and send it to michael k. he would appreciate them.

      • If I see another person in wrinkly polyester with fake pearls I’m going to hurl.

        It’s pathetic enough to have a “prep” themed party at the age of ALMOST 30, but it’s even more pathetic to completely FAIL at it. She claims to love preppy clothes, so why can’t she do this one thing right?

    • The worst part is, there is no “irony” here whatsoever. She isn’t trying to be funny. SHE IS HER ACTUAL TASTE.

    • it’s really funny that they only two people at that entire party that could pass for even remotely preppy are Jordan and Kendrick’s gay neighbor couple.

      Overall:

      FAIL

    • THATS HIM! If you look at the photo Jordan posted of PK, he’s wearing a pink polo (not a pink dress shirt) under the jacket AND the face bubble doesn’t cover the very top of his head! I can tell he had dark blondish hair, closely cut! He looks cute, not fat. Just sayin.

  38. After checking out Jordache’s photos, RBNS posts and Twitter, it looks like the party was filled with:

    *Donkey + her family + Pr0n King
    *Jordache + Kendrick, plus their friends
    *NS slaves, interns
    *Ex-Gawker/NY media people who did it for the LULZ
    *NS ‘readers’ (who probably also did it for the LULZ)

    The only real ‘friend’ of Donkey’s who showed: Rbillow?

    Sad. And pathetic.

  39. I wonder which of Jordan/Kendrick’s friends is Harvard Harley?? Isn’t that how they met?

  40. Did Lasagna ask to have the fugly plane picture of her removed, as a commenter earlier suggested she should? It’s gone now.

  41. Another subtle Jordo dig i am loving is that all their Ivy buddies are actually wearing pink and green, as it should be.

    Donkey doesn’t know. The real preps her are Kendy’s buds. Well played Team Jordan, well played.

  42. Here’s the saddest part of all this madness: Each year, the crowd for the bday “extravaganza” gets smaller, and this one sounds like the worst of all. Also, since this is her 29th, plus she supposedly has a bf, wouldn’t you think she’d try to have a low-key dinner with him and friends, and do a so-called blowout for her 30th?

    Well, that’s what a normal person would do and we’re obviously not talking about normal here.

  43. Once again, I have been left out of a significant familial hairy time.

    Rewriting my will: Let. It. Unfold.

  44. The level of obsession and detail here is, quite frankly, extremely creepy. Y’all need to get laid or something.

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