Let the Birthcray Commence!

Enjoy barreling closer and closer to your expiration date, you dumb, stupid donkey!

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

83 Responses to Let the Birthcray Commence!

  1. fuck camping! says:

    birthday photoshoot with kevin rose is imminent!

  2. Snorting Caviar in Aspen says:

    This cake is not good enough. Everyone who’s anyone (old enough to matter) knows that Julia Allison’s favorite color is OMFG!!! PINK!!!

  3. Good Thoughts says:

    You sure got the eyebrows right.

  4. Squirrelbait says:

    Wow, the baker got her veneers just right!

    I’ve been looking back at BBB ’09 posts, and I was struck by how much HAPPIER the Donkey pretended to be last year — I’m talking deliriously, repulsively happy. This year, she’s barely making an effort, compared to these old tweets:

    # I am so happy right now. … Uh … I guess I should pack. HAHAH

    # I’m sitting in front of my laptop wearing only an aqua blue tutu, too excited to pack. MEEP! This is what a glass of champagne does to me.

    # @MeghanAsha – car will be at my place at 8 am to pick us up for SAN FRAN! God, life doesn’t get any better than this.

    # well, wow. oh, wow. wow. just, wow. mmm. yay! grin.


    I think last year she was gettin’ some on a regular basis (Booty Call?) Prom King hasn’t gotten her to “grin” yet, has he?

  5. Pink Ruffled Cheese says:

    Is it sad that I skipped an actual, real life party to be on RBNS tonight?

    • juliaspublicist says:

      Yes, I actually have plans for most of the evening.

    • TackyCow says:

      Not sad at all. I was invited to the brayfest (FFS why I have no idea) and am not going to San Francisco. I will be in the chat room with franzia, pizza, chocolate, and cats.

    • Teh Slow One says:

      Ah well. I’m in lab, partying it up with cells. This is a rather welcome distraction.

    • Eggnog DeepDish says:

      I feel a little guilty about being on RBNS at 8:30 on a Friday night, but that’s only because Mr. Whiskerface and I both got home from work early, drank a bottle of wine for dinner, did it with our socks still on, and now he’s snoring next to me and I’m still awake…and drunk.

    • IndianaState says:

      I almost cancelled my plans just to stay home and hang in the chatroom with all you ineffable people.

    • Expert Gay says:

      I have a nightmarish stomach virus and am stuck in DC (I anticipate being That Sick Person on the plane home tomorrow), so I don’t have any plans beyond nibbling saltines and reading RBNS. Love you all.

  6. Grimace says:

    9:00 is such a weird start time for a party. It’s during dinner time and all they’re serving are measly cupcakes? I bet no one shows up. Who’s going to trek in the snow for such a pathetic spread.

  7. Russian Girl says:



  8. Dadser Plays Possum says:

    Is that PK on the left with his hand on his crotch? KLASSY!

    • Pink Ruffled Cheese says:

      I enjoy that Megan is not in costume. And Jordan doesn’t know what preppy means. And that Kendrick actually looks pretty cute.

      • Goody Goody Two Pelts says:

        What ever do you mean? Did you not see the giant PINK bow on Jordan’s head?

      • Pink Ruffled Cheese says:

        Oh right. I always get “preppy” and “creepy Lolita” confused.

      • Mutton Dressed as Lame says:

        I think Meghan’s and Jordan’s outfits say, “I’ll be damned if I’m going to shell out cash for some stupid pink preppy outfit that I will totally never wear again.”

    • Snorting Caviar in Aspen says:

      Would THAT be the faux-to album Julia made Wallet Thing for VD?

    • for serious??? says:

      what’s it full of? Pics of Julia? that’s all it could possibly be, right?

      • Snorting Caviar in Aspen says:

        Surely she doesn’t have her own album(s) there, so if this is the one she made for him, it seems that Kendrick’s only interest in it would be to see pics of his wife in St Barth’s ~ just speculating.

    • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

      Hefty lad.

    • Goody Goody Two Pelts says:

      I am fond of his black jacket over a pink shirt with white pants. Good look.

      • Julia's Fat Ass says:

        Seriously. White fucking pants? A Christmas sweater? I don’t care if he’s dressing up to humor her – his style is atrocious. WHY DOES HE OWN WHITE PANTS? And if he bought they just for this – wow. PK has no balls. I think I’ve mentioned that already. Seriously, lacking a sack.

      • Mini Driver says:

        You’re talking about a guy who bought an entire Christmas tree just so he could serve egg nog to Julia in his apartment. Of course he purchased white pants just for the Preppy Pink and White shindig.

    • Grimace says:

      Haha. They’re all wearing black with their pink. Costume fail.

      • puddingnose says:

        I think it’s navy, not black. But regardless, clearly, this clueless crew doesn’t seem to have a handle on what preppy style actually means. I think whatever the crotch-grabbing guy is wearing is probably his normal attire. Not costume. Jordan clearly thinks “preppy’ means ”80s” so she’s doing her Molly Ringwald schtick. Again, sans clue.

  9. Sister Marry Anyone says:

    So Prom King is definitely going to be outed tonight, yes?

    • juliaspublicist says:

      You know where to email us.

      • Sister Marry Anyone says:

        Shit. The birfday venue is just a few blocks from my apartment. I’d head over there and snap a photo or eight of Prom King but Mr. Whiskers and I haven’t seen each other all week and, you know….

        ALSO: it’s DISGUSTING OUTSIDE. Just think of the usual poor attendance at these birthday bashes and divide by ten.

    • puddingnose says:

      Just do it! It’s honestly not that bad out in Manhattan. Even the sidewalks in Brooklyn are clear. Just wear boots!

  10. shen says:

    I would like to point out that I went to last year’s SF soiree just because I wanted to see what she was like. They are having it at the same, tired location again this year. Rosewood is a bar in Chinatown that allows you to rent out the back of it “privately” for free. You pay nothing – there is no door man for the private portion of the party and anyone can walk back there. They keep the main bar open. I imagine it will be the same this year too. Furthermore, I recall walking in and my friend remarked to me as she saw Julia and Randi on a couch for a “photo shoot” in their matching dresses – “how funny, they are going to post these photos and everyone’s going to think this party was cool and well attended..sad.”

    • Pink Ruffled Cheese says:

      Isn’t Randi worth like seventy-five bajillion dollars and fifty-three cents? Why is all their party stuff slapped together so cheaply and shoddily? Why doesn’t she have her own, nice party? So many questions. So little Franzia.

      • CloudDoodles says:

        Randi’s BROTHER is worth that much. Randi herself, not so much. She couldn’t get a job elsewhere so her brother gave her a fake job.

  11. Teh Slow One says:

    “At dinner w Prom King, @RandiZuckerberg, her parents, my parents, my brother, his fiancé Allie, @Meghan, @rbillow, @JordanBerkow & Kendrick.”

    So. TWO sets of parents are going to jointly witness their progeny dressed like teen-age prom sluts and are going to be okay with it?

    BTWs? The “sherri hill confection” she wanted to wear but couldn’t get? It’s under their “sweet 16 party dress” section.

    • Har-Har says:

      Don’t forget that the two sets of parents are gonna pay for 6 grown adults’ (presumably expensive) dinner.

    • Snorting Caviar in Aspen says:

      What about Mr. Old Yeller?

    • New Year Old You says:

      Jordan Isitfree Berkow: “I felt really bad about going for yet another free meal. But I’ve only been out to dinner four times this week and I wouldn’t normally be able to do this on a Friday too, so Kendrick and I snapped up the opportunity and will be taking doggie bags. For us, not the kids.”

      Jordan Isitfree Berkow
      Domestic Grift Done Differently

    • bitchface says:

      seriously there is something so fucking fucked up about this. Why are THE ZUCKERBERGS having dinner with their daughter and her schill friend, where is Randi’s husband, and I mean it’s the mother & father of the world’s youngest billionaire. I DON”T GET IT.

    • Julia's Fat Ass says:

      It’s amazing to me women who are nearly 30 make this much of a big deal about their birthdays. And not just one year, but EVERY YEAR. If you celebrate your bday after you turn 16 with such shenanigans, ugh…I mean seriously this girl sees her parents more than I do and mine live 20 minutes away. Grow the fuck up. Brother Britt flew in for this shit???

      • Afghani Facebook Friend says:

        britt and allie drove down from boston, where she teaches and he’s in grad school.

    • dubminded says:

      “At dinner w Prom King, @RandiZuckerberg, her parents, my parents, my brother, his fiancé Allie, @Meghan, @rbillow, @JordanBerkow & Kendrick.”

      In other words, the Bray-dy Bunch.

  12. Sausage Snappers says:

    Get in chat, you angry sad cat ladies!

  13. preppy fail says:

    Where is the link to the chat room?

  14. "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

    Julia is a cunt. I’m here and all she is doing is primp in the mirror and pose for pics. She’s been hugging up on Charles Forman – why is he here?!

    Momsers is DERANGED. “Julia works SO HARD! it looks fun but she never stops working!!” They really do buy her bullshit!

  15. Birthbray Princess says:

    Is Prom King there?

    • Birthbray Princess says:

      That was supposed to be in reply to “Pilot” is the new “keynote.”

    • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

      I don’t know. I’m swept up in conversation with someone who is actually quite nice (dying to make a Velveeta reference!).

  16. ASmall10kGift says:

    from twitter:

    lindsaykap : Julia Allison’s birthday party. Pinker and smaller than expected. That’s what she said. (@ The Gates w/ @blakeley @simplychicpr @nmcglynn)

Comments are closed.