Enjoy barreling closer and closer to your expiration date, you dumb, stupid donkey!
birthday photoshoot with kevin rose is imminent!
IF FOUND, PLEASE RETURN TO JALOPNIK.COM
Getty Image watermark much, Mr. Rose?
This cake is not good enough. Everyone who’s anyone (old enough to matter) knows that Julia Allison’s favorite color is OMFG!!! PINK!!!
I debated trying to change the color, but I made this in under a minute, so it shows how invested I am in this.
it’s ridiculously cute and tiny. but you meant to write “happy birthday randi”, right?
If I made a cake for Randi, it would be yellow, because of her teeth.
Juliaspublicist, can you find the Oak Room on your own?
What do you mean?
(I was channeling Rambo)
But there! Updated!
I thought I was going cray-cray for a minute. Actually both are suitable as a memorial to last year’s bi-coastal pink n’ blue Betsy Wetsy flammable birthday gowns. Maybe you should switch off the hues from hour to hour as the festivities unfold.
That’s better. Don’t let me catch you tweeting anything about leaving either.
You sure got the eyebrows right.
And the teeth are perfect!
The eyes are green!
LOL ~ just noticed Birthbray too!
(said the worst eyewitness ever)
Wow, the baker got her veneers just right!
I’ve been looking back at BBB ’09 posts, and I was struck by how much HAPPIER the Donkey pretended to be last year — I’m talking deliriously, repulsively happy. This year, she’s barely making an effort, compared to these old tweets:
# I am so happy right now. … Uh … I guess I should pack. HAHAH
# I’m sitting in front of my laptop wearing only an aqua blue tutu, too excited to pack. MEEP! This is what a glass of champagne does to me.
# @MeghanAsha – car will be at my place at 8 am to pick us up for SAN FRAN! God, life doesn’t get any better than this.
# well, wow. oh, wow. wow. just, wow. mmm. yay! grin.
# ONLY 48 HOURS LEFT AS A 27-YEAR-OLD.
I think last year she was gettin’ some on a regular basis (Booty Call?) Prom King hasn’t gotten her to “grin” yet, has he?
Mental image of Julia wearing nothing but an aqua tutu = My lunch is now on my keyboard.
I can’t read MEEP! & *not* think
of Road Runner & Wile E. Coyote.
Is it sad that I skipped an actual, real life party to be on RBNS tonight?
Yes, I actually have plans for most of the evening.
Well. I can blame the snow, right? Also the person I was supposed to socialize with like a normal human being is QUITE Juliaesque.
Ha publicist, your reply cracked me up.
Not sad at all. I was invited to the brayfest (FFS why I have no idea) and am not going to San Francisco. I will be in the chat room with franzia, pizza, chocolate, and cats.
Nice. It’s not anti-social behavior if OTHER people are doing it, I say.
Ah well. I’m in lab, partying it up with cells. This is a rather welcome distraction.
you too, huh?
mr. meowserton is occupied tonight, so it’s RBNS for me!
I feel a little guilty about being on RBNS at 8:30 on a Friday night, but that’s only because Mr. Whiskerface and I both got home from work early, drank a bottle of wine for dinner, did it with our socks still on, and now he’s snoring next to me and I’m still awake…and drunk.
I almost cancelled my plans just to stay home and hang in the chatroom with all you ineffable people.
I have a nightmarish stomach virus and am stuck in DC (I anticipate being That Sick Person on the plane home tomorrow), so I don’t have any plans beyond nibbling saltines and reading RBNS. Love you all.
9:00 is such a weird start time for a party. It’s during dinner time and all they’re serving are measly cupcakes? I bet no one shows up. Who’s going to trek in the snow for such a pathetic spread.
Um, er, oops http://www.facebook.com/?sk=messages#!/photo.php?pid=38709137&id=4617 #preppyfail
LET THE BICURIOUS BIRTHDAYS BEGIN!!!!
Is that PK on the left with his hand on his crotch? KLASSY!
I enjoy that Megan is not in costume. And Jordan doesn’t know what preppy means. And that Kendrick actually looks pretty cute.
What ever do you mean? Did you not see the giant PINK bow on Jordan’s head?
Oh right. I always get “preppy” and “creepy Lolita” confused.
I think Meghan’s and Jordan’s outfits say, “I’ll be damned if I’m going to shell out cash for some stupid pink preppy outfit that I will totally never wear again.”
Would THAT be the faux-to album Julia made Wallet Thing for VD?
what’s it full of? Pics of Julia? that’s all it could possibly be, right?
Surely she doesn’t have her own album(s) there, so if this is the one she made for him, it seems that Kendrick’s only interest in it would be to see pics of his wife in St Barth’s ~ just speculating.
I am fond of his black jacket over a pink shirt with white pants. Good look.
Seriously. White fucking pants? A Christmas sweater? I don’t care if he’s dressing up to humor her – his style is atrocious. WHY DOES HE OWN WHITE PANTS? And if he bought they just for this – wow. PK has no balls. I think I’ve mentioned that already. Seriously, lacking a sack.
You’re talking about a guy who bought an entire Christmas tree just so he could serve egg nog to Julia in his apartment. Of course he purchased white pants just for the Preppy Pink and White shindig.
Haha. They’re all wearing black with their pink. Costume fail.
I think it’s navy, not black. But regardless, clearly, this clueless crew doesn’t seem to have a handle on what preppy style actually means. I think whatever the crotch-grabbing guy is wearing is probably his normal attire. Not costume. Jordan clearly thinks “preppy’ means ”80s” so she’s doing her Molly Ringwald schtick. Again, sans clue.
So Prom King is definitely going to be outed tonight, yes?
You know where to email us.
Shit. The birfday venue is just a few blocks from my apartment. I’d head over there and snap a photo or eight of Prom King but Mr. Whiskers and I haven’t seen each other all week and, you know….
ALSO: it’s DISGUSTING OUTSIDE. Just think of the usual poor attendance at these birthday bashes and divide by ten.
Just do it! It’s honestly not that bad out in Manhattan. Even the sidewalks in Brooklyn are clear. Just wear boots!
I would like to point out that I went to last year’s SF soiree just because I wanted to see what she was like. They are having it at the same, tired location again this year. Rosewood is a bar in Chinatown that allows you to rent out the back of it “privately” for free. You pay nothing – there is no door man for the private portion of the party and anyone can walk back there. They keep the main bar open. I imagine it will be the same this year too. Furthermore, I recall walking in and my friend remarked to me as she saw Julia and Randi on a couch for a “photo shoot” in their matching dresses – “how funny, they are going to post these photos and everyone’s going to think this party was cool and well attended..sad.”
Isn’t Randi worth like seventy-five bajillion dollars and fifty-three cents? Why is all their party stuff slapped together so cheaply and shoddily? Why doesn’t she have her own, nice party? So many questions. So little Franzia.
Randi’s BROTHER is worth that much. Randi herself, not so much. She couldn’t get a job elsewhere so her brother gave her a fake job.
“At dinner w Prom King, @RandiZuckerberg, her parents, my parents, my brother, his fiancé Allie, @Meghan, @rbillow, @JordanBerkow & Kendrick.”
So. TWO sets of parents are going to jointly witness their progeny dressed like teen-age prom sluts and are going to be okay with it?
BTWs? The “sherri hill confection” she wanted to wear but couldn’t get? It’s under their “sweet 16 party dress” section.
Don’t forget that the two sets of parents are gonna pay for 6 grown adults’ (presumably expensive) dinner.
What about Mr. Old Yeller?
Jordan Isitfree Berkow: “I felt really bad about going for yet another free meal. But I’ve only been out to dinner four times this week and I wouldn’t normally be able to do this on a Friday too, so Kendrick and I snapped up the opportunity and will be taking doggie bags. For us, not the kids.”
Jordan Isitfree Berkow
Domestic Grift Done Differently
You are making this up, right? A little birthcray-eve satire? Please tell me this ain’t real.
Jordan blogged about rushing to the Character Awards show yesterday to eat some free food, so excited she went commando!
@Dyspeptic2 I iz making this up. Except really I’m not.
seriously there is something so fucking fucked up about this. Why are THE ZUCKERBERGS having dinner with their daughter and her schill friend, where is Randi’s husband, and I mean it’s the mother & father of the world’s youngest billionaire. I DON”T GET IT.
i bet the donks is SO SAD randi’s bro is not in attendance.
It’s amazing to me women who are nearly 30 make this much of a big deal about their birthdays. And not just one year, but EVERY YEAR. If you celebrate your bday after you turn 16 with such shenanigans, ugh…I mean seriously this girl sees her parents more than I do and mine live 20 minutes away. Grow the fuck up. Brother Britt flew in for this shit???
britt and allie drove down from boston, where she teaches and he’s in grad school.
In other words, the Bray-dy Bunch.
Get in chat, you angry sad cat ladies!
SRSLY. It is “unfolding” in the chat room!
I have no idea where to type in Chatroll. To quote Snooki: “Waaaah.”
at the bottom, creat your name, then the text box will pop up
Oh nevermind. There I am.
I’m dumb, no matter how many times I try to sign in, I can’t get a text box to come up. Help!
Nevermind, I got in as a guest.
Where is the link to the chat room?
Julia is a cunt. I’m here and all she is doing is primp in the mirror and pose for pics. She’s been hugging up on Charles Forman – why is he here?!
Momsers is DERANGED. “Julia works SO HARD! it looks fun but she never stops working!!” They really do buy her bullshit!
yay, pilot! chatroom!
What about pk?
Is Prom King there?
That was supposed to be in reply to “Pilot” is the new “keynote.”
I don’t know. I’m swept up in conversation with someone who is actually quite nice (dying to make a Velveeta reference!).
lindsaykap : Julia Allison’s birthday party. Pinker and smaller than expected. That’s what she said. (@ The Gates w/ @blakeley @simplychicpr @nmcglynn)
Why am I not surprised McGlynn was there?
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