TMI Weakly: Get Out of Nightmare. Get Into My Car.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11XDKyYE7xc]

Look at this! Two girls who live in New York and don’t drive and one blonde who is broke are going to tell you how to buy cars — CARS THAT THEY CAN NEVER AFFORD!

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62 Responses to TMI Weakly: Get Out of Nightmare. Get Into My Car.

  1. jane says:

    Too funny. New couch? Is that part of their new design?

  2. Justadude says:

    I forced myself to watch ALL of that. I did learn something: never watch TMI again. Being totally objective, that is the worst thing ever produced. Including According to Jim. I cannot fathom how the support staff lives with themselves for being involved in such a waste of resources. I could go on and on, but the one question is how Mary will lease a car with NO source of income? I don’t think banks will take schwag in trade for a 3 year lease. What person could come away from that learning anything about cars. If I overheard that conversation at Houston’s, I would move to a different table. They will be alone for a long time.

    • partypants says:

      “According to Jim”? That’s the best you can do? How about:

      Small Wonder
      Simon & Simon
      The Fall Guy
      Eight is Enough
      King of Queens

      Come on there are way more boring, badly done shows than According to Jim. I know. I have all of them on dvd.

  3. Julia, you WILL have that pink convertible someday! You’ll only have to sell $60,000 worth of Mary Kaye to get it, but get it you will.

  4. pinkconvertible says:

    Did she just say “I have my period” at the end of that episode !!! Come on !!! No one cares !!! But I guess since so few people will watch this until the very end (or at all) it doesn’t really matter.

    • prettyprettyprincess says:

      i know i’m really immature, but the first time through i totally thought megs was calling julia gross for the farting noises she was making by moving her sweaty ass around on the leather couch. i know now she was reacting to julia’s overshare but i like my version better.

    • jane says:

      oh my. charming!

    • melissa0sue00rbns says:

      She so did. I heard it on the livestream. I can’t believe they put it in the episode!

    • OrangeArchesofDoom says:

      “Oh I know why my back hurts!! (stage whispers) Because I have my period.”

      Oh really Julia? I thought your back hurt because you tore a ligament (or whatever lameo story you came up with) on your little holiday (trip to fat farm).
      Isn’t that why you claim you have to have acupuncture (impulse control/sugar addiction) treatments now?

      So dull.

  5. prettyprettyprincess says:

    can’t believe i’m saying anything borderline positive, but blue actually looks good on jackles, and almost makes THE HAIR look decent. i know she never reads here (hah), and i am no fashiongirl, but please julia. navy not black will do you a world of good.

    • What Julia REALLY thinks says:

      I totally agree. Granted, she is falling out of that outfit she’s wearing … but the color looks fab on her.

  6. Julia, your back hurts not because you have your period, but because you “tore a ligament”. Remember?

    • Dr. Gary says:

      Ooooohhhhh…GOOD catch!

    • Triumphant Return of the Shoes says:

      Mary apparently has significant back pain from a childhood injury. I wonder if it pisses her off that Julia goes on and on about her torn ligament and uses it as an excuse for why she can’t do anything all of the time.

  7. Dr. Gary says:

    Honest to Fucking GOD. Smart Car let these jackasses drive a car for FREE for a WEEK and they’re dissing the motherfucking car???

    Shilling. Ur doin it wrong.

    • partypants says:

      I think they give negative reviews once in a while in an effort to be all “See we don’t just shill! We are actually REVIEWING products! We are being HONEST!” etc etc.

  8. Hairy Tum says:

    they’re idiiots. every last one of them. i used to sort of like mary. but now i can’t get over how completely odious all of them are.

    G’NIGHT NOBODIES!!!!!!

  9. Hairy Tum says:

    oh, also? i saw an off-broadway play tonight. everyone loved the play. nobody despised the actors in it.

    dear girls from non-nothing —

    why is it that so many people despise YOU?

    • I think the answer to that question is ineffable.

    • Anony says:

      I was thinking about this the other day actually. There are dozens, if not more, of generally talentless actors out there who get written up in Internet articles with enabled comments on a daily basis. Never have I seen anyone hated as much as Julia Allison. Post an article about her on a little read blog and dozens of people will show up to spit at her, with not a single positive comment. I really feel like she is the most universely disliked person to ever live, it amazes me even the morons she hangs out with will have her anymore.

    • Ginger Sans Pelts says:

      I think it’s the amount of artifice that drives people up the wall. There is nothing authentic about JA, from her name to her alleged lifestyle to her hair and nose. Putting on sweats and glasses every now and then to appear “real” doesn’t do the trick. Her entire persona – an unholy hybrid of Charlotte, Carrie and god knows what else – is vapid and detestable. Hell, everything she writes feels contrived because she wants it to sound “quotable” and “movie like”.

      She also seems like a desperate social climber, and no one likes the stench of desperation. It’s cool to live in a tiny Manhattan apartment and wear your Forever 21 best with pride – but once you try to act like a socialite who “summers” in the Hamptons and gets invited to the hottest parties, it’s just sad. If she just owned who she really is – essentially a nobody who wants to make it in the city and get laid in the process – many people would be able to sympathize and relate. As it is, though, regular women probably find it hard to relate to her “i need a personal trainer/i want a “maid”/i’m a pearl clad tutu princess” bullshit… and the actual socialites scoff at her sad efforts.

      Even her interests seem like manufactured, temporary fads she latches onto in order to attract men, an audience, or any sort of attention. The only things she consistently raves about are pink and cupcakes, and at her age, it’s no longer cute. Instead, it’s creepy and infantile. Even her attempts at coming off as “spiritual” – incoherent ramblings about gratitude, awareness, living in the moment – sound like watered down excerpts from Buddhism for Dummies instead of genuine realizations.

      Do you remember the last time JA wrote something personal or insightful? I don’t – it’s all “my life is a rom com, I am obviously deeply troubled but SO BLESSED and SO HAPPY!!! weee!” If she took the time to address her evident issues, she would instantly seem more real. Characters, even fictitious ones, need depth.

    • ethel-egg says:

      The answer to that is indefatigable.

  10. pinkconvertible says:

    “What would you say is a “reasonable” amount of time for a boy’s first visit? Three days? Four? Is five days burgeoning-relationship suicide? It is, isn’t it?” … I would say Let It Unfold !!! Two days with you will definitely unfold into relationship suicide.

    • pinkconvertible says:

      She seems to have started talking to herself a lot lately, one step closer to crazy.

    • tam says:

      Julia is way too old to be dating boys. Mary Kay Letourneau dated a boy.

    • melissa0sue00rbns says:

      that post made me ill. she is so retarded. and if this guy visits, sees her apartment and doesn’t go running, then i think he might just be fucking with her with no serious romantic intentions.

      • OrangeArchesofDoom says:

        I think she needs to stay in an arrested state of adolescence until some guy swoops in and carries her away on his white horse so she just just live her awesome pretty pink life and not have to worry about icky things like bills and jobs and responsibilities and obligations.

  11. BunnyBingo says:

    Methinks she is already 99% crazy – she has already told this guy that he has to move to New York…who has those kinds of conversations after one freaking date? Unless this whole thing is total attention seeking fantasy.
    Any attention is good attention in Julia’s universe after all.

  12. Alexander Marquart's Beard says:

    You guys, you guys – I saw Jackles today!

    I was at Liquiteria waiting for a freelancer I work with to show up when… Jackles sat at a bench, right across from me.

    Observation:
    *The red hair doesn’t look as unfortunate in person, but she really, *really* needs to go back to brunette.
    *She was actually speaking relatively quietly so I couldn’t hear the gist of her conversation with what appeared to be a dude friend. But I did hear the following snippets:

    “And then I went up to him and said, “Do you have a career?”
    “And then I helped his brother.”

    Who could she be talking about? Jakob? Definitely seemed like she was discussing an ex.
    *She is thin in person. Was wearing a black skirt and 5 inch heels – very overdressed for an August day, IMO.
    * I am frightened by how bowlegged she is. When she left her stance was wider than even the Comment Sheriff lets on!

    • Custom Pimped says:

      I’m so mad that NONE of my friends know or care about this trainwreck, yet fellow RBNSers are in my midst! We need our own ribbon for easy identification. Bumpy green, perhaps?

    • nme525 says:

      Didn’t she take credit for getting Jakob’s brother into modeling? So that seems like it could be about him.

  13. nme525 says:

    Has anyone seen this yet? http://julia.nonsociety.com/lifecast/165480488-0-1

    Let’s just skip past the part where she’s having an imaginary conversation with her dog and just go right to this little piece of fun: “Me: Keep in mind I’ve already demanded he move here.”

    How does someone ever think it’s a good idea to demand someone move to where you live after one date? The engagement ultimatum can’t be too far behind.

    • Ginger Sans Pelts says:

      She probably thinks her writing and made up little convos are SO HILARIOUS. If I were Lilly, I’d take two dumps on her carpet – one for naming me after a brand for Miami Beach housewives, and another for subjecting me to her psychotic bullshit.

    • The Manta says:

      This is going to end in such a bad way. Long distrance relationships, although I would hesitate to call what messaging on facebook for 3 years a relationship, often end up being vastly different when the participants actually get together for an extended period of time.

      I knew a girl who had a LDR for clost on three years and when her then boyfriend moved to her city to attend the same college as her they split after three months.

      • Julia's Fat Ass says:

        Don’t get me started. I MARRIED my LDR, and we knew each other for 8 years. It did not end well. You can be married for 20 years and not know a person. You certainly don’t know them after one date and a few visits.

        Not that it can’t work for some people. But why do I have a gut feeling JA is not one of them? I think she’s like a rancid onion – as you peel the layers off the rot becomes more apparent. This guy would do well to back away slowly, then RUN.

    • diluted brain says:

      I feel bad for TK – he took the girl on one lousy date and she’s planning to marry him already! Shouldn’t a former dating columnist know anything about dating? I found a way for her to gain income – publish a book along the lines of “how to lose a guy in 10 days” but unfortunately for her, Kate Hudson gets the guy… she will live alone with 10 cats and nonsociety’s IP address.

      • partypants says:

        I now have a mental image of a sad older Jaba sitting on her bed, surround by 11 cats, welcoming us to meow-weekly, and asking her cats what their favorite food is. She’s a STAR people.

      • Grimace says:

        Well, she already has imaginary conversations with her dog… She’s halfway there already.

  14. JuliaJane says:

    I’m so curious as to who this guy is! Does anyone have any clue?!

  15. little birdies dress me says:

    Okay, now the show isn’t even saying “Up next…” They are just doing the candid, cutting to commercial and then repeating the candid. Yes, we just saw that FOUR SECONDS AGO. Ugh.

    Also, someone is obviously reading here based on Mary’s “backward slash, forward slash, whatever you want to call it.” Um, no. Not whatever we want to call it. It is what it is called!

  16. shamoolia says:

    Gawd, how long has Mary been talking about buy a car? For like, two months, now? It’s not that hard, you idiot! Do some research, test drive, look on Cars Direct, and get something! Perhaps she’s having a hard time getting the LOAN for the car. I can’t imagine it’s that easy when you have no discernible source of steady income and your credit is probably shot to hell thanks to some hefty credit card debt that she had alluded to having.

    Something also tells me she’s either holding out for a trendy or free car wrangled through some kind of endorsement deal and it just ain’t happening. With shitty credit, no income and no endorsement deals, she’s probably looking at driving something cheap and unglamorous like a used Focus or Cavalier. Perfectly acceptable … unless you’re a spoiled bitch like Mary. Although it does make me laugh to think about her dressed in her designer duds, yet sweating it out in LA traffic in her shitty little car … I wonder if she can shift the gears in those $800 YSLs??

    • partypants says:

      That’s totally what it is. All three of these twats live under the assumption that they are so special that they simply deserve whatever they want, and someone somewhere should and will give it to them for nothing. Their existence is gift to us all enough, ergo we should all waste no time making sure they are assured of being surrounded with the type of life they deserve and want.

      It’s all very annoying, but not uncommon in that crowd. She’s welcome to my lavender colored hyundai accent if she gets desperate.

      • shamoolia says:

        Ha! I have a Hyundai, too. They rock. I even have “luxurious” amenities on my Hyundai Tuscon like leather, sunroof, 6 CD changer, etc. and it was still dirt cheap but great quality with a 10 year warranty to boot. And I wasn’t even paid to write that glowing review!

        Too bad Little Miss I Deserve a Free Gold Plated Lexus Hybrid SUV will never have a chance to figure that out. I guess her tacky label obsession extends to cars as well. I sort of take pleasure in knowing that her disgusting sense of entitlement and label whoring will never let her discover some truly great, economical finds out there – in everything from cars to fashion to food. Just more to enjoy for the rest of us “common folk.”

      • partypants says:

        I bought my hyandai on Craigslist and paid in cash. It has amenities like wheels, a radio, and a little circle for my 44oz 7-11 morning soda. I agree, they rock.

      • ET says:

        aww i have a hyundai too! i love it!! shamoolia, i got the one right below the level you got, but i def should have paid that extra 1K for the leather seats sun roof etc etc.

  17. for serious??? says:

    “Forward slash, back slash, whatever you want to call it.”

    Nice, Mary.

    I watched the entire episode and they all say nothing. It ends with a plea by Mary to give HER advice once she admits that she knows nothing. That is not an episode ‘about’ cars.

    I hate these idiots.

  18. Jacy says:

    THE PELTS, by God.

    They are an entirely different color. They are so obviously fake. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY

  19. Jacy says:

    Someone really doesn’t like her there. Why else would you leave the “I have my period” in there?

    Also, she was mystified about why her back hurt? So in other words, the back injury was another lie.

  20. Custom Pimped says:

    CALL ME CRAZY, but I think Smart refused to reimburse her for the parking ticket and that’s why they got slammed. I have several friends who own and adore their Smart cars — including a couple of car-savvy guys.

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