Julia: Still So Interested in Biology, Philosophy and Architecture



This interview will make you puke for several reasons.

Firstly, it was clearly done via e-mail — the “ridiculously talented” thing pops up again, and all her usual canned explanations and phrases — and it burns me as a reader when a publication, online or otherwise, doesn’t make that clear. Nobody talks like this when they’re having an actual conversation. Chicky here had plenty of time to formulate her self-aggrandizing answers, and that’s a far different kind of interview than one done in person or even voice to voice, when the interview subject doesn’t have hours to prep answers. It’s dishonest journalism.

And then, of course, there is her insistence that she’s SO fascinated in a wide variety of weighty topics. Really, Cupcake? Because it seems to me you’re interested in two things: Your heinous hair, and trying to snag a boyfriend and/or have people believe that many Harvard graduates want to BE your boyfriend. That is your entire existence, period.

Also — another reality show? Please. What, about bad dye jobs?

I also find it strange that she goes on about the cutting-edge brilliance of blogging when she told a correspondent just the other day that she really doesn’t give a shit about her blog anymore, and no longer considers it part of her “business.”

To summarize, this interview is a pretentious piece of crap, with not a single tough question asked as Julia sat typing away, probably over a few days’ time, with her thesaurus at the ready. Tool.


  1. Also fascinating to hear that she has had not one, but two failed TV reality show pilots: “Bravo has decided to pass on both IT Girls and Fashionality.”
    Julia FTW.

    • “In a new genre for Bravo, “Fashionality” (working title) is a weekly one-hour series, featuring four eclectic New York tastemakers from the worlds of media and fashion, who explore the intersection of all things pop culture and fashion via field pieces, roundtable debates, interviews and a thorough dissection of any and all things stylish and glamorous. From the latest in high fashion to animated debates on the week’s red carpet outfits, and with segments like “Bravo Buzz” that explore style trends on the channel, viewers will never look at clothes the same way again. “Fashionality” is produced by Embassy Row and Superb Entertainment for Bravo. Michael Davies, Meryl Poster and Michael Rourke serve as executive producers. “

    • I know what IT Girls was, but what was Fashionailty? And why does she throw those things out there without explaining them? If me, with my MA in JA, doesn’t know what she’s talking about, what chance does a casual reader have? (Or is that the point … if we don’t know what she’s talking about, then she looks more important?)

    • Well it’s a good thing that those series were dropped because if there’s one thing that JA learned at Foocamp it’s that TV is dead. Phew another bullet dodged.

  2. Is the Joni Mitchell mention a dig at Emily Gould? I know she’s not the only one who loves Joni Mitchell, but how else would Julia have heard of her?

  3. This must be one of the “articles” she mentioned working on before leaving for CA.

    My guess is she won’t get the message about her future until ICM drops her. Her agents’ cut on her “ventures” won’t even keep them in Kleenex for the year. And at some point the bray-for-play clients will wonder what they’re getting for their fees to Izea. I think Julia is aware of this. That’s why, in her usual spaz way, she’s desperately seeking a rich dope to marry her.

    • She needs to get married! Then she can join a show like real housewives of ATL and get the pelts ripped off her head. I’d totally watch that!

      • That would be fun, but I kinda doubt that Hoolia is going to land the kind of money husband she craves. She’s not arm candy. She’s not particularly well educated or accomplished, to put it kindly. And, uh, she’s nuts and that’s clear from 20 paces away.

  4. Oh, Julia! We’re actually better friends to her than she knows or than we intend to be. Plenty of people go through life screwing up over and over without ever figuring out quite where things go wrong. Julia has US telling her where she’s going wrong and what would make her a less loathsome creature. If she’d act on half of the legitimate things that RBNSers point out to her, she might be able to pull out of this tailspin. I’m glad she won’t though – this freakshow is too much fun to watch.

  5. Oh, I called the reality TV show thing. I’m telling you, she’s shopping something around. It will be dating/singleness related.

  6. Fashionality -ummm she’s not interested in fashion, celebrities or culture.
    She has nil interest in high culture or low culture or “pop culture” oh i would love to see the pilot.This is a woman that thinks Fergie looks good!!!
    How in Gods name did she think she was going to do this -someone who has only just watched Twilight,.
    Where does she live? The moon?

      • haaaa -fergie ferg .poor jubelia she has the same degree of sophistication as 12 yr old in a wee town in maybe 1999. except the 12 yr old would be still learning things.

    • I love that she lists architecture (in the linked article) as one of her interests. A real speshul Renaissance woman, she is.

      • Great handle, Sake.

        Does she ever read, other than self-help tripe and mentions of herself on the Internetz? Does she remember anything about MOMA besides taking pictures of herself? Does she ever listen to music unsuitable for 14 year olds? This woman’s brain is a cultural wasteland.

      • i’ve been in a building designed by an architect i thought it was nice -therefore i am interested in architecture.
        i consulted google maps to get to a restaurant therefore i am interested in world affairs
        etc etc

      • She is so cultured, and yet TMI Weekly consists of rehashed Seventeen magazine articles. Today, it was beauty on a budget, cohabitation, and what car my daddy should buy me.

      • Can you imagine being on a date with this dope? Especially if you’re some reasonable smart Ivy League educated guy? All posturing about how culturally minded she is yet the last movie she saw was a stupid rom com. What does she talk about??

        Oh yeah… How the guy would raise his children. BAHHWAHHHA!

  7. Okay I’m getting really tired of every article about her claiming she is 27. Bitch is 28, and will be 29 in just a mere 6 months or so. I’m 28, almost 29, and I’m not ashamed of that fact. Of course, my life isn’t a complete mess and I don’t look like a 45 year old, so maybe that’s the difference?

      • What do you want the details on? If you go to her Facebook fan page she lists her birth year as 1981. I was actually shocked when I went to check. I thought for sure that she wouldn’t include the year. My guess is she had an intern fill it out and just never noticed.

      • Actually, I also checked her personal facebook, and she just has the month and day, no year posted. Also, she lists the year she graduated from Georgetown (04) but while she does list her high school, she doesn’t list the graduation year. She’s definitely trying to make it look like she’s a year younger than she is. If someone knew she graduated from college in 2004, they would assume she graduated from high school in 2000 and I’m guessing she does nothing to correct the misconception.

      • Jesus if you’re going to lie about your age then LIE about it. Why subtract a year? Hell I take at least 6 years off myself. Go big or go home, amateur!

    • Probably since hearing someone mention the name of the architect who designed one of the buildings on Central Park West that she fantasizes about living in. So she can say, “oh yes, that was designed by Emery Roth” to a wealthy date smiling at the dope through his drink.

  8. This dumb ass writer is just as bad as she is:
    To know Julia Allison is to look into the heart of modern media itself
    That glittering, put-your-brand-on-everything-you-can-get-your-hands-on ethos is a good paradigm for understanding Allison, but there’s more

    Really, Max? REALLY?! Also, did you do ANY research at all? Pictures of things you’ve just eaten? She’s done that, like, never.

    I suppose you could call it a memoir or journalism or “blogging,” but I think that when it comes down to it, it’s mostly art.
    Is she on drugs? How can she consider it a memoir if she doesn’t reveal anything (or anything true) most of the time? And how can she call it journalism if she is not doing ANY reporting at all? It’s not any of those things, but it’s certainly not ART. It’s self-indulgent crap! I have a blog, and so do most of you. I don’t think there’s necessarily anything wrong with self-indulgence or blogging or any of that stuff. But don’t act like it’s something amazing and transcendent when you’re posting pictures of your dog in the bath and writing two words under it. You’re not an artist; you’re a moron.

    Also, fat lot of good she did saving her sanity today … she completely did NOT ignore us. She answered us head on. In some of the most lame, stupid ways possible, but it certainly wasn’t “benching” herself by any means. She can’t even help herself.

  9. OMFG if I see her referred to as TONY’s sex columnist ONE MORE TIME I am going to cut a bitch. She was never the sex columnist. TONY already has a sex columnist, and a really good one at that, and it sure as shit wasn’t her. GAH.


  10. I love how she makes sure to quote the best and brightest person she can think of: herself.

    Also how she thinks her lifecast is art. Remember she called heself an “artist” recently. I can’t even comment on that it’s so absurd.

  11. Sorry, I forgot this. Julia self quote from the interview (quoting herself from an earlier tweet of hers) “No. I absolutely love the profession of journalism and I think [journalists] have a very bright future when they paradigm-shift and start to embrace the radical possibilities instead of mourning the anachronistic constraints.”

    • That quote more than any other caused my bile to rise.



      OK. Going back to the livestream transcripts again to laugh.

      • She probably thinks it sounds like what might be said by someone whose opinion on blogging would actually be take seriously, a la Emily Gould.

        It’s quite sad that she’s still posturing in that regard; any chance she ever had of having an iota of credibility is gone with the wind.

        And by sad I mean funny as all hell.

  12. I’ve noticed a funny thing since i have been at home looking after my wee bab-bah . I have been watching endless hours of SATC -mindless entertainment while b feeding (and less grim than law and order)… it has struck me that many many many of the plot points have been mined by jabbers -the easter outfit is very close to what Carrie wore to church etc.
    Only a very keen student of SATC would be able to mimic her so.
    I find it amazingly hilarious to think an “educated” 27 yr old would make such a study of a tv show. My only excuse is being up at 3am etc. Also if she has that much energy and tenacity why not copy something good?

    • She’s 28! But yeah I’ve noticed the similarities every time I catch an episode of SATC. She most definitely has closely studied the show and intentionally emulates it. She plagiarizes everything else, so why wouldn’t she do the same with her own life.

  13. I see we are all in a raging fury right now. If you want to make yourselves feel better, go back and read the transcripts of the livestream. You will kill yourselves laughing, again, and it feels so good to see how we nailed her on every stupid utterance/stunt she’s ever pulled and she sat there and read them.

  14. Well, you know what they say: once you’ve landed an interview in Gelf magazine you’ve truly arrived as a celebrity. CONGRATS JULES!!!!!!

  15. Oh WOW, she interned for a year (did she even do a full year?) and editors didn’t respond to her queries when she was 23. And that terrible ordeal made her realize she’d get nowhere in journalism through actual hard work – yet EVERY OTHER real print journalist managed to. Screw. Loose.

  16. She actually said:

    “That said, there was certainly a moment towards the beginning of my time here in New York when it occurred to me that conventional methods—query letters and job postings—weren’t going to get me a job in journalism, let alone a career.”

    Really? Query letters? Job postings? No job?
    Which NYC did she move to? Yup, understand, you need an “in”. But, pounding pavement and “working” will get u a place. It will.
    The first thing she did in NYC was strip for gawker.
    God. Please, beautiful, smart girls from the mid west and all over the nation: don’t think it can’t be done. Or has to be done JA’s way.
    Come. Be here. Be smart. Network. Write.
    You can make it.

    • Seriously, this is (one of the reasons why) she is so infuriating. Like, did she expect to have a career in journalism thrown into her lap immediately after college? Without paying her dues AT ALL? The sense of entitlement there is just appalling.

      On the other hand, perhaps conventional methods didn’t work for her because she isn’t a particularly talented writer, and is obviously not willing to work to correct her flaws. Hence, condom dresses and ridiculous stunts for attention. Ugh.

  17. she reuses my least favorite of her lines here. The one about machinations otherwise known as dating. What makes her think that is clever? It angers me up.

  18. What she misses about Tom Wolfe is that the work got him noticed; the white suit became his trademark later. The suit didn’t make him famous, his writing did. She doesn’t seem to understand that, and wants to skip to the next step where all she has to do is wear the white suit (or, in her case, the pink tutu) in order to be known as a brand or media entity. The bottomline is she’s just not willing or ready to do the work.

      • Plus, I highly doubt she has ever read anything by Tom Wolfe. MAYBE she has seen Bonfire of the Vanities (or part of it, given her attention span) on DVD; I would bet that that’s as close as she’s ever been.

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