About to start my essay for Erica Jong’s anthology “The Best Sex I Ever Had.” Narrowed it down to 3 occasions, can’t choose 1. This is hard!
Of course, I sure as hell remember the worst sex I ever had. *shudder* It was like a bad Judd Apatow movie.
I mean, can you really recall – off the top of your head – the “BEST” sex you ever had? Right now, quick! See? Not so easy.
Staying with my old college boyfriend, James, while in LA. Haven’t seen him in 4.5 years, but just got off the phone w him and … wow.
Sometimes chemistry never goes away. 😉
College boyfriend just texted me “I feel like this is something out of a movie.” HAHAH That was EXACTLY what I was thinking!
Sweet mother of FUCK. Who Tweets this shit??
Whatsamatter, Jules, did your (possibly manufactured) “OMG OMG I just had an out-of-body experience I am so grateful and I love you all!!!” new Harvard Jewish writer boyfriend freak the fuck out when he read your Twitter and so now you’re going to suggest you might be heading to L.A. for a week to get banged?
I mean, seriously, what’s the game this time? It could be anything at this point.
If any of our loyal readers happen to know who “James” is, please be sure to point out that minutes after he hung up the phone, Jackles was Tweeting to the world that he was hot for her. Is this the poor fucker who was engaged to her for awhile? I’ve lost track of all these dumb fools who made the mistake of involving themselves with this barking mad demento princess.
And as for the sex, sweet Jesus, it’s not that difficult. Pick three, try to recall the intensity of the orgasm — that is if you’ve ever had one that didn’t involve gazing into your laptop at images of yourself, you sick twat — choose the most memorable and write it the fuck down. Then hit motherfucking “send.”
Sorry to be so profane tonight. Sometimes she really grates on my last nerve.