Julia Allison: Out of Ideas

We’re brainstorming topics for our upcoming TMI shoot!  Here are a few of our favorites:

  • Living Together Before Your Married
  • Spoil Yourself Recessionista Style
  • Foods That Put You in Good Mood
  • Beauty on Budget
  • Tips for the College Freshman
  • Five Skills You Can Learn For Free
  • Tools for Dating Long Distance

Now, we’d like to hear what you think.  Weigh in with your suggestions and ideas at julia@nonsociety.com!

Or just send me your wedding photos.  That works, too.

Here some ideas, Julesy:

  • How to whore yourself for free shoes without putting out.
  • Tips on being a succubus who gloms onto men and never lets go.
  • Yom Kippur.

And speaking of weddings: She’s putting up wedding photos of readers and creaming over purple bridesmaid dresses. Let’s focus on getting a successful relationship before we obsess over a party, Julia.


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74 Responses to Julia Allison: Out of Ideas

  1. flatface says:

    Perfect, perfect list! Mmmwah! Mmmm-wah! I salute you, Julia. Bravo.

    That list is both genius in its unoriginality and as unique to you as a fingerprint or DNA sample.

    Freshman year advice! And cohabitation tips! A tip of the hat! Where, though is “Empty Nest” how to make your golden years the bestest years!” You have no idea who your audeince would be if you had one! But that doesn’t stop you! And like the half-buried but repeating motif in a Tchaikovsky Suite that only the afficianodas can pick out, the hint of 1950’s tabboo-breaking (living together?! BEFORE marriage?! Quelle scandal!)

    A lot of people wouldn’t have suggested an Eat Your Feelings segment when you’ve already passive-aggressively made judgements about the whores who live with their menfolk before making vows before god. But you do! You little rascal!

    • Pearl Freshwater says:

      Hah!
      Spot on.

    • narcissistheadband says:

      I have seen every one of these coma-inducing topics on shitty morning programs throughout the last year. And I don’t even watch morning TV that much. Julia, once again your creativity and originality astound.

  2. shamoolia says:

    Here’s a close up pictures of two pairs of her “fan” YSLs. I think they look fake. The gold label on the insole is sort of rubbing off on the black pair. Maybe TJ or someone with some more fashion-y knowledge can confirm?

    http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=36078760&id=1402715#/photo.php?pid=36078751&id=1402715

  3. AnonDude says:

    Hey, Julia, you + are = you’re

    • awkward.com says:

      Seriously. You’re a fucking writer. Learn how to fucking write.

      Or, wait, Julia, is it YOUR a fucking writer????? YOUR such a genious I could use YOU’RE help right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Har-Har says:

      I think Meghan wrote that, and Julia just copy-pasted it from an email. Remember:

      Meghan=stupid
      Julia=lazy

  4. partypants says:

    “Recessionista” went out like a year ago. Once again she is 12 months behind the trend times.

    • juliaspublicist says:

      I was gonna say, aren’t we starting the recovery?

    • shamoolia says:

      Spoil Yourself Recessionista Style = “splurge” on a pair of $165 counterfeit shoes (a big step up from the $49.99 Maddens!) and pass them off as real designer shoes.

      • partypants says:

        Real splurging for Real People Really struck by the Recession get excited about finding cute but crappy shoes at target for 6.99$. If you have 165 dollars with which to splurge then you aren’t feeling it too badly, imo.

      • awkward.com says:

        Spoil Yourself Recessionista Style = whore yourself out and whine until a “fan” buys you expensive shoes. Because that’s classy AND affordalbe! All you have to spend is your dignity.

  5. Don Juan says:

    How about: Crowns? The next big thing?

  6. idiotbox says:

    living before my married what?

  7. Emily says:

    Where is Russian Girl?

  8. I'm a little teapot. says:

    My nephew, who is 10, likes to make up little codes with his mom and his friends. And whaddya know, so does Julia. Her and rbillow are talking together over twitter about SDM and NPP SDM.
    Maybe Julia should do a TMI on how their taxi-ad show, that amounts to nothing but hackneyed lists of do’s and don’ts, doesn’t match up with the acronym it’s named as at all.
    In the meantime, I’ll take a shot at translation:
    SDM – Super Desperation Move
    NPP- Named Psychiatric Patient
    Put them together and today for Julia is when the NPP makes an SDM.
    Now you try! It’s fun!

    • shamoolia says:

      Julia Baugher and Rachel Billow = grade school friends who haven’t mentally or emotionally matured past grade school. They are both idiots.

      Super Dense Morons

      • Orange Arches of Doom says:

        It is exactly like grade school, you’re right!
        They are using a public forum to use their secret code talk so we call all see how excluded we are and how special and “in” they are.
        Oh, boo hooo.
        Why not friggin DM each other you two? Oh right, your lives are so empty you need to broadcast your conversations over the web to prove that you exist.

    • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

      SDM is (aging) teen slang for sharp dressed man, as in the zz top song. The idea of Julia boogying to that song makes me roar with laughter.

  9. Jacy says:

    I love how she’s trying to crowd-source her piece on her best sexual experience. Even on an assignment that is intensely personal, she can’t figure out what to write. TOOL.

    • shamoolia says:

      She can’t write an original thought to save her life because she has no original experiences. Everything is a highly contrived contortionist act based on deceit and manipulation. Julia crowd sources EVERYTHING and then passes those ideas/thoughts/experiences off as her own. Notice how she asked readers to send their ideas to her own email address, not the TMI email address. Easier to plagiarize and take credit that way.

  10. She's just stupid says:

    Wow…I never read her Twitter, but I just did. What are all these people going to LA for?

    I usually dread trips (the packing, ugh), but I’m actually looking forward to LA! Going w @CourtneyFriel, @PaulCarr, @sarahcuda, @ShiraLazar
    10:54 AM Jul 26th from web

    And…seriously? She’s bragging about having a few glasses of wine and blaming that for making her sleep until 12:30 PM? What a piece of trash.

    @jordanberkow – Good morning, bunny!! Yeah, I definitely slept till 12:30, hahaha – thanks to you plying me with white zin last night! oops?

    • partypants says:

      Bitch, bullshit. I drink my body weight in wine 3x a week, stay up until 2am, and I get my ass up at 530 and go to work. She’s such a piece of shit princess. Life is just too hard for her.

      • shamoolia says:

        Looks like someone loves the boxed Franzia white zin just like you, PP! Tawny Kitaen is keepin it Klassy!!!

      • partypants says:

        She wants to be so damn bad. If she wants to impress me she better learn how to sing “Particle Man” after a ctf marathon while wearing a shark mask, after a box of franzia, on a muthafkn diving board. LET’S GO, JULIA. Let’s. Go.

    • fuck camping! says:

      monthly circle jerk. they like the variety, so they travel to different cities for it. isn’t paul carr (f)unemployed? and um, shira lazar lives there anyway, she’s hardly traveling to LA with JA. oops?

  11. NewToLife! says:

    I think this is getting much more interesting, seeing how clear it is becoming that she is arrested in development around age 22 now. It used to be 15 with the tutus and the daddy issues, but now it’s like she’s a recent college grad, learning about boys & white zin! Kind of fascinating, but kind of sad since she’s almost 30. Embarassing no matter what.

    • Jacy says:

      Good point. Actually, more like she’s now a college student, getting drunk and being slutty and playing twinsies with the new girl in the dorm she has a secret lesbian attraction to. Next up — sexual experimentation with a girl! Perhaps even marijuana!

      At this rate, she’ll be 50 before she’s mature enough to get married.

  12. flatface says:

    Like evrything she does there is a real undergrad feel to her “ideas”. I mean those ideas are straight out of a student newspaper ( a bad one). This is what you get when you don’t read. Does she not know that these topics have been done to death? And do not play to any of their individual strengths? ANY one could talk for 3 minutes on these topics. Utterly forgettable. Long distance dating advice? WTF?

    And it’s always last minute. Her shoots, her meetings, the way she writes asisgnments. Last minute, no thought put in before hand. She is one of thoe people so used to coasting on her slightly-above-average intelliegence and gambles that whatever she does wil be passable, and her “charms” will do the rest. Just good enough to hand it in to the teacher just before dealdine – or juuuust after deadline, with a flurried, I’m-so-busy-wink-wink smile and batting of the eyelashes. God, her poor college professors.

    The thing is, this will reveal itself. You can get an agent to book you on some mid-day MTV talk show, and weasel an invitation to a sex anthology with a vague attachment to Erica Jong.

    But you cannot really make it in NYC and this media world withou brain power. Her superficiality will come through. You get cut a lot of slack her for poersonality – you can dress a little different, talk a little different, be a little “colorful”.

    But you have to be professional. The work has to be good, and on time and you have to be able to solve editors/publishers/producers’ headaches. Not make them.

    She just will not be able to do that on the regular.

    • shamoolia says:

      “slightly-above-average intelliegence ” Oh, flatface, you are too kind. I have always held the belief that Julia Allison is slightly retarded or has a serious learning disability.

    • Don Juan says:

      Julia Allison on the last episode of TMI (about dance classes):

      “In a weird way I felt like I was alone, because there were so many people but they were just doing their thing.”.

      flatface are you honestly telling me that producers aren’t craving this kind of insight? Especially when you look like a McDonalds funland transvestite on acid? I’m gobsmacked.

      Those fucking videos get stranger all the time. Though Mary does indeed look very fit – its very tense now and they are all overcompensating. I honestly think Julia’s medicated. Just being obnoxious for a living doesn’t work unless you’re like Gilbert Gottfried or something.

      Its the combination. Their ideas are indeed just tired cliches – but the three of them are all so strange in their ways. Or its me, I just don’t know people like this.

    • Um... Err... Oops? says:

      She’s used up her fair share of chances x 1,000. Why nobody in NYC tells her (or her poor, poor agents) to fuck off after hearing her honkbray is infuriatingly beyond me.

  13. Johnny Optional says:

    The guy that lives behind a sign at the offramp puts more research into his rants than this lazy bunch of lightweights.

  14. Big Muff says:

    tips for college freshman – umm aren’t they all like pushing 30?

    living together before you’re married – umm what year is this again?

    • fuck camping! says:

      julia: i have successfully lived with many men before marrying… except that one time when i was engaged and then got dumped… or the time i lived in my ex’s apartment for a full year after we broke up… or the two years i’ve lived in pink pony palace wonderland where men are too afraid to visit. other than that, yay.com!

  15. ElGuapo says:

    Perhaps off topic, but I am utterly confused. I take taxis twice a day, to and from work (yes, I am a lazy ass, but I hate the subway and can afford it) and since Stumpy McStump and the Brain Trust announced that their fabulous series for tweens (aka TMI weekly) was going to be on NY taxis, I have yet to see a single episode. Thank god for that, or by now I would have destroyed half the taxi fleet in NYC, but am still perplexed by this.
    Is it because I am extremely lucky, or am I just taking the wrong cab?

    Thank you for an entertaining blog that makes me waste a couple of hours a day.

    • juliaspublicist says:

      I was in New York a couple of months ago after the whole taxi thing was announced, and I didn’t see one NonSociety episode. All I saw was the same news cast, like twenty times.

    • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

      Same here — I’ve never seen TMI in a cab, but then again I avoid pink taxis.

      • ElGuapo says:

        So should this be added to the list of failed projects/bullshit stories for the ineffable Miss Oompa Loompa?

        I am quite sure that given the sample size, not a single pixel has been on a cab. Someone should point that out to the Dynamic trio

    • the gaping maw says:

      add me to the list of folks who’ve never seen TMI whilst cabbing and I take cabs at least 6 times a week (not because I’m lazy but because I have to run all over town for work, honest!)

    • the gaping maw says:

      p.s. didn’t mean to insult you ElGuapo, I am actually pretty damn lazy myself 😉

  16. sara says:

    i live in nyc too, and i’ve never seen TMI in the back of a cab. granted i only take a couple a week, but when i take them they’re long distance and i see them same boring restaurant reviews / news updates more than once per ride. “how strange.”

    • totaljing says:

      It’s kinda odd. They are on the Next New Network page, http://www.nextnewnetworks.com/networks. It’s like each show is its own network. So basically, NBC (Next New Network) is just repackaging already produced content as selling it to distributors? I think NNN is a distributor. But if you ask JUlia, “I have a talk show on NBC.” Yeah, um, not exactly.

      • totaljing says:

        “”Next New Networks is TV for the Internet. As the leading independent producer of online television networks Next New Networks creates, packages, brands, markets and syndicates some of the Web’s most popular regularly scheduled and episodic programming””

        Kinda sad. From NNN “TMI Weekly (co-hosted by web celeb Julia Allison)”

        Web celeb? Not even.

  17. shamoolia says:

    What I want to know is, when is NNN dumping their sorry asses? Their tiny viewership has plummeted since it debuted and the production value / content is total crap compared to the network’s other shows. The affiliation with them must be embarrassing for NNN by now. Why do they keep them around?

  18. totaljing says:

    “We’re actively seeking partners to provide shows for our networks. Next New Networks commissions and licenses original work, and provides the creative support and infrastructure of our networks to help shows succeed. ”

    I’m beginning to think that we all could have a show on NNN. Talk about Julia really pretending her NNN was something when it’s merely access to venues for shitty web shows.

    • totaljing says:

      “Think you should have a show with Next New Networks? Please note that we can’t accept any proposals just yet, but you can contact us via email and tell us a little about yourself. Send us a link to your site or a resume or CV, and please check back to see when our formal submissions process is in place. ”

      HA!

  19. ElGuapo says:

    Seems to me that NNN is like public access TV. As long as you have a pulse, they will give you a video camera and a studio. They then build a “portfolio” of shows which they then try to sell to any media outlet. If it sells, they take a cut. If not, their investment is limited to server space and rent.

    So yes, you can also be a part of the new media universe, like Julia Buffalo Butt Allison

    • Dyspeptic2 says:

      yeah, and the COOLEST part is NNN gives you some orange crates to shove together to make a kinda wee stage! Let’s put on a show, kids!

  20. juliaspublicist says:

    A search on the New York Nonstop NBC site for “TMI Weekly” brings up two Gawker articles and nothing else.

    http://www.nbcnewyork.com/results/?keywords=tmi+weekly

  21. ElGuapo says:

    So we can safely conclude that not a single episode has aired inside a NY City Taxicab. That’s a relief, because I don’t want to be forced to buy a car just so I can avoid seeing the cosmetically (un)enhanced mug of Ronald McDonald’s alcoholic auntie in the back of a cab.

    Now we can return to our regularly scheduled programming.

    • the gaping maw says:

      I thought there was someone screeching about seeing TMI in a cab on twitter but that might’ve been one of Julia’s personalities.

      • ElGuapo says:

        Just to make a rough calculation, since they announced this non-venture earlier in the year, I must have taken at least 200 taxi rides. I think that by now, I would have seen it.

        I also just asked a female co-worker (who also hates that fat cow), and she is as pathetic as me in the cab department and has also never seen one.

        All I can say is that’s good for the citizens of NY.

  22. pink bunny wabbit says:

    Julia + Meghan =Wayne & Garth

  23. Sausage Snappers says:

    http://www.tmiweekly.com/life/episode/TMI_20090723

    Please, let’s parse this gem in a new entry. Enough passive-aggressiveness and college name-dropping to go around!

    • fuck camping! says:

      watching meghan and mary boast that they went to USC is like watching a retarded proudly proclaim they graduated from the derek zoolander school for kids who can’t read good.

  24. melissa0sue00rbns says:

    can we pause for a moment here to talk about Mary?

    she posted a video review of the smartcar today, wherein she basically says, “how cute is this car! i love it so much because it looks cool. but i hate the way it drives. but it’s still at the top of my list of cars to consider because it makes me look like a badass.”

    what kind of moron is she? since when do you buy a car because of how it looks? last time i checked you use a car primarily for DRIVING not for making other people think you’re cool.

    and her reason for not looking at a prius? she says, “well, a prius is greener, but the smartcar is by far the greenest car i’ve looked at, so this is a step in the right direction.” what? more like toyota won’t give her a prius for a free week.

    also … she can’t afford a smartcar! she could afford a nice gen 1 or 2 prius if she’s really interested at a great, green car. but that’s not what she wants. she wants a sexy, trendy car that makes her look cool. and if she can convince them to give it to her for free, all the better.

    psycho bitch.

    • fuck camping! says:

      unemployed mary was looking at a benz for chrissake! when you’ve grown up rich and privileged you can never stoop to the level of the plebs. like mary gives a crap about being environmentally friendly…
      but i’d give anything to see her having to change the tire on a used rustbucket.

    • totaljing says:

      God. Mary and her little smart car has been killing me. I read her site last night and noticed that her regulars were giving her shit for a pimping a car. I think Bob the Bear stepped into defend her….and in one of the comment threads, you could sorta tell that Mary was defending herself, posing as a fan.

      Plus, I had to laugh at the healthy chicken dinner she said should could NEVER finish in one sitting. god forbid. She makes me laugh. SO HARD. Julia ENRAGES ME but Mary just makes me laugh.

      • Nikki says:

        Have you guys noticed how no one seems to comment on Mary’s site anymore? She used to get up to 15 comments on come posts….but now? Nada. Guess she has chased everyone away. I think that one chick, Sarah, still comments, but as a friend, I guess she HAS TO.

        HAHAHA

      • juliaspublicist says:

        I don’t pay attention any more. I get that she’s trying – although I’d be more impressed if she got a real job – but reading her blog is like reading one long, endless infomercial without Billy Mays or that guy who beats hookers.

    • fuck camping! says:

      i will buy this car though i hate how it drives! can you spell a-i-r-h-e-a-d?

    • chescaleigh says:

      she also consistently misspelled prius as pirus

    • Grimace says:

      Mary is so dumb it’s almost pitiable. She started pre approving comments when ppl called her out on her food issues. Now it’s snoozerville over there. She even changed the “0 comments” link to say “start the conversation” after she killed the free commenting. Hey dummy… Ur doin it wrong.

      • sara says:

        i tried to “start the conversation” on more than one of those a couple days ago. needless to say, she didnt approve my comments. and they werent even that bitchy.

  25. fuck camping! says:

    the nonsociety girls (incl. mary) really should be contestants on the rumored new rock of love successor, in which jon gosselin will choose a new ho to strut around with. julia is an expert after all, having discussed his family on cable tv once. meghan can play with all his kids (that’s more her level), and mary can spend time trawling through jon’s ed hardy wardrobe.

  26. LX says:

    What’s hilarious is that they all shill just to DRIVE the car. Ladies, if you were really important and influencers, you’d be getting one for six months, not for six hours, and every blogger on the planet wouldn’t be getting the same.

  27. Antonina says:

    I’ve not located what I wanted

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