Painted Lady Trying To Make The Sheriff Jealous


  1. Two first (blind!) dates tonight, back to back (“double feature”??) I just like to streamline the torture. 😉
  2. Is it really so wrong to make your blind date meet you at a gay bar? I just thought I’d add a bit o’ spice to the evening.
  3. “From what I’ve heard you’re a very well-connected socialite in New York, I’m not totally sure what you do, but call me.” – VM from stranger
  4. @cheeky_geeky – stop, stop! You’re turning me on. rrrrr!about 1 hour ago from web in reply to cheeky_geeky
  5. What I know about Blind Date #1: Lives in Newport Beach, does commercial real estate, has sexy phone voice, thinking of moving to NY.
  6. What I know about Blind Date #2: Lives in NYC, went to Harvard, Jewish, writer. Uh, all the boxes are checked on the “My Type” list.
  7. Aside: I can’t remember the last time I made out on a first date. Is that simply not done after a certain age?
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33 Responses to Painted Lady Trying To Make The Sheriff Jealous

  1. NewToLife! says:

    She likes the heebs? Hmmm. I never would have guessed.

    Also, yes…after a certain age people don’t make out on a first date, they fuck. And then sometimes, even if they fuck… they have more and more dates and sometimes even get married! Wacky, I know!

    • MyPeopleMyPeople says:

      As a Jew, we don’t want her

      • Well, I was going off what she said, which was that she is half (or 3/4) jewish.

        we will add that to the ever-growing list of lies and untruths to come out of her mouth.

      • The Manta says:

        I will bet 100 oysters that she brought up her Jewish roots about 20 seconds after being introduced to Randi Z, who married a Nice Jewish Boy(tm) herself.

    • Her father is Jewish, Jankles is half-Jewish. Has blogged before about how she has a “thing” for Jewish men. … *cough* … DADDY COMPLEX *cough*

      • Duh says:

        Bullshit. He’s active in the family church. Unless he changed his first and last names, he is just not Jewish.

      • MyPeopleMyPeople says:

        Not a Jew.

      • Duh says:

        Also, there is no such thing as “half Jewish.” A person is either Jewish or not. It’s not like you can be “half Methodist” or “half Baptist.”

        Even if her father were Jewish (and he is not), she still wouldn’t be Jewish unless her mother converted to Judaism before her birth or if she converted.

      • Excuse me “duh” you might want to fact-check before your call outs. She’s talked about being half-Jewish before. Er, 3/4 Jewish, actually: to wit:

        “The former I found amusing – although I was raised Protestant, I’m either ¼ or ½ Jewish, depending upon who you talk with in my family (I tend to think it’s closer to ¾, but whatever). As for the latter, well, the latter I understand. I’m not too into the religious thing either.”

      • Duh says:

        Doesn’t matter GW. Unless her mother was Jewish at the time of her birth, she is not Jewish.

        That is Jewish law dating back thousands of years, not something that a wonky-faced braying tard gets to define as she wishes.

        I also have serious doubts that any close relative of hers is Jewish.

      • partypants says:

        Sorry, Duh is right. Goes maternal blood line. There is no such thing as a half jew.

      • Well, I was going off what she said, which was that she is half (or 3/4) jewish.

        we will add that to the ever-growing list of lies and untruths to come out of her mouth.

      • ShrimpWithCheeseSauce says:

        There is such a thing as 1/2 jewish in line with my great great grandmother was black, for those who are tracking ethnicity and race

        Modern reform congregations will accept a child as jewish whose mother OR father is jewish; they also accept converts, known these days as jews by choice

        But the good aspects of the culture/ethnicity/religion, ie working for social justice, are nowhere evident in cupcake land

      • Duh says:

        Asshole with CheeseSauce, once again: Judaism is NOT a race, except to Nazis and that ilk.

        As for people who choose Judaism (converts), Orthodox and Conservative synagogues accept them – as long as they did so through the proper procedures, not the “say it and it’s so” nonsense in the Reform Church, er, branch.

  2. totaljing says:

    Vomit. She has profound issues with intimacy and no insight. Her tweets are always ever so revealing.

    Also, these dates seem like “inventory” matchmaker dates. They are too pre packaged.

  3. BunnyBingo says:

    “From what I’ve heard you’re a very well-connected socialite in New York”

    • totaljing says:

      I’m beginning to think that socialite is a fine name for julia allison. we know that a trust in her name owns properties in chicago, and that she doesn’t work for a living. she’s on the poverty end of a the socialite spectrum but otherwise she fits the bill.

      • Julia IS a Democrat says:

        I though socialites get invited to THE hot parties and have all sorts of amazing contacts and connections. They’re also usually involved in charity work and Julia can’t pull her head out of her ass long enough to think of someone other than herself.

        She’s a midwestern middle class wannabe with her surgically altered nose pressed up against the glass.

  4. narcissistheadband says:

    Oh god, she’s back on the dating horse. She really is a bad dater. Before I came to know Julia Allison, I didn’t think such a thing existed, a “bad dater.” But she really is atrocious at it. She does not know what the fuck she is doing. A tenth-grader dates with more finesse, class and know-how.

  5. partypants says:

    I seriously can’t muster up a fuck to give.

  6. Anon says:

    Yes, Julia. Absolutely no one makes out on a first date. If you are a Hasidic Jew.

    I’m not the one night stand type, but holy shit, I’ve been felt up on the street on plenty a drunken date. She should try it sometime. It’s good for the soul.

    She has no sex drive whatsoever.

    • melissa0sue00rbns says:

      read her latest tweets …

      juliaallison: OMFG. Date #2?!? Just made out on every corner from 54th & 9th st to Sirius on 49th & 6th. Whoa. (about 3 hours ago from TwitterFon)

      now, is this a direct reaction to what you’ve said here? or maybe her date’s reaction to the fact that she was dressed like a whore and had one too many? or maybe she really isn’t as much a prude as she’d have us think? or maybe she’s lying? you be the judge.

  7. Anon says:

    And why don’t you just advertise to all the single men in NYC, “Hi, I’m frigid! Love me!” Jesus what a boner killer.

  8. Hill Girl says:

    Oh sweet lord, cheeky geeky is DC’s version of male Julia Allison. Speaks on panels a LOT, media whores, leeches onto DC blogger socialite types as their Web 2.0 geek credential. Transparent and tiresome. A perfect match.

  9. Grimace says:

    So I guess she’s hard up for cash again?? Two “dates” in one evening screams matchmaking inventory/escort service to me.

    • partypants says:

      I was going to say I guess we can expect another Aqua shopping spree in the next week after the madame wires her funds.

  10. Anon says:

    Since when are writers her type? Maybe those with trust funds…

    It’s entirely odd that someone with a background so privileged, who went to a good school herself, is so wowed by Ivy League credentials. It’s actually worrisome.

  11. Scooby Don't says:

    Nice to see that “the gays” are nothing more than props that JABA can use to add spice and shock value to her dating life.
    Hmmm next up an edgy visit to a sports bar with unironic baseball cap wearing and draft domestic beer,
    Quel blue collar horror!
    Other people = just props in her unending one act play

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