So Carrie Bradshaw Julia Allison is on a quest to find six words to put together to make it look like this thing called a “sentence” so they can put it in this thing that is full of paper and other words by other people. She’s a writer, y’all, but writing is hard!
She’s working at it, though. Everyone knows that great literary masterpieces go through multiple drafts. Let’s take a look at what she’s come up with so far.
- “Sex and the City. Without sex.”
- “Carrie Bradshaw bought laptop, started blog.”
- “Tumblr. Twitter. Facebook. I need sleep.”
Nevermind the fact that she thinks the Carrie Bradshaw thing is played out (It is!). It’s very telling that this is the fictional identity she still clings to. A deep psychoanalysis of how these “memoirs” are a stunning representation of her intense narcissism and delusion are forthcoming, trust me.
It should be repeated that Julia is going around the twitterverse and Facebook and her blerg implying that she was asked to contribute to the book as if it were an exclusive, high-profile gig. Just so you know: ANYONE can submit their memoir for consideration.
But far be it for me to kick a donkey while it’s down. Right now Julia needs help, and she is the queen of crowd-sourcing and unoriginal ideas (see Carrie Bradshaw above).
Fortunately, the compassionate commenters of RBNS have come to the rescue! Here are the 10 best memoirs (in no particular order) that best reflect our dear Julia Allison, our little cupcake of delusion.
- “it’s always about me, not you.” – jubba-fat
- “Legs never open, mouth never closes.” – Reality Stripe
- “Just keep sending me free shit.” – partypants
- “I LOVE BLACKS–mainly successful ones!!” – Julia’sButtSweat
- “Ridonkulously nice; I’ll cut a bitch.” – sad:(
- “About to expire, please love me.” – awkward.com
- “You’d like me if we met.” – Dyspeptic2
- “One time I saw black guy” – NewToLife!
These last two were my personal favorites!
- “Here I am, World. Now gimme.” – Reality Stripe
- “Where’s the bridge? I brought matches.” – Going, going, back, back to Wilmette, Wilmette
UPDATE: This one is too good not to get recognized:
- “Carrie got Big. Julia got Poofy” – pink bunny wabbit
Wonderful job, everyone! It was way too difficult to single out just ten eleven!
On another note: Julia the Journalist is claiming that this idea stems from a six-word story Ernest Hemingway wrote. “For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn.”
While this activity is a whole lot of fun and Hemingway’s “story” is quite haunting, the fact that Hemingway actually wrote the story himself is highly disputed. Here’s some career coaching from your publicist, Julia: Journalists check facts and do research.